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1
00:00:10,815 --> 00:00:12,656
Gabe, what are you
doin' out here?
2
00:00:12,739 --> 00:00:14,763
It's almost midnight.
3
00:00:21,595 --> 00:00:25,199
Just listening to the wind
whistle through my shorts.
4
00:00:30,607 --> 00:00:32,910
What's bothering you, honey?
5
00:00:32,993 --> 00:00:34,353
There was somethin'
goin' on all week
6
00:00:34,436 --> 00:00:36,673
with those kids
in my class.
7
00:00:36,756 --> 00:00:38,919
I couldn't figure
out what it was.
8
00:00:39,002 --> 00:00:41,483
Well, then how do you know
that something's goin' on?
9
00:00:41,526 --> 00:00:43,354
They're not acting
like themselves.
10
00:00:43,389 --> 00:00:45,674
They're acting like people.
11
00:00:46,714 --> 00:00:49,195
They're talking
instead of yelling.
12
00:00:49,278 --> 00:00:51,681
Epstein has showed up
three straight days
13
00:00:51,681 --> 00:00:55,324
and Barbarino hasn't tried to
take over the school all week.
14
00:00:56,802 --> 00:00:59,422
Gabe, don't worry so much.
15
00:00:59,505 --> 00:01:01,864
You're the best teacher I know.
16
00:01:01,947 --> 00:01:04,849
I'm the only
teacher you know.
17
00:01:04,970 --> 00:01:06,826
I'm a failure.
18
00:01:06,909 --> 00:01:08,311
The kids don't trust me.
19
00:01:08,394 --> 00:01:11,599
They had a problem and they
wouldn't come to me with it.
20
00:01:11,682 --> 00:01:14,065
Maybe I wasn't cut
out to be a teacher.
21
00:01:14,120 --> 00:01:17,023
Maybe I should have gone off
with Jacques Cousteau.
22
00:01:18,164 --> 00:01:19,624
Jacques Cousteau?
23
00:01:20,746 --> 00:01:24,328
[in foreign accent] Our ship was stuck in heavy ice.
24
00:01:25,602 --> 00:01:28,824
It had been a very
difficult crossing.
25
00:01:28,907 --> 00:01:33,291
Some of the crew of Calypso had
gotten friendly with pelicans.
26
00:01:35,697 --> 00:01:37,657
[male announcer] "Welcome Back, Kotter"
is recorded live
27
00:01:37,740 --> 00:01:40,134
before a studio audience.
28
00:01:40,135 --> 00:01:44,113
[theme song]
29
00:01:47,439 --> 00:01:50,141
♪ Welcome back ♪
30
00:01:50,224 --> 00:01:53,971
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
31
00:01:54,054 --> 00:01:56,103
♪ Welcome back ♪
32
00:01:56,186 --> 00:02:00,891
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
33
00:02:00,974 --> 00:02:03,023
♪ Well the names
have all changed ♪
34
00:02:03,106 --> 00:02:05,330
♪ Since you hung around ♪
35
00:02:05,413 --> 00:02:07,376
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
36
00:02:07,459 --> 00:02:10,025
♪ And they've turned around ♪
37
00:02:10,108 --> 00:02:12,157
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
38
00:02:12,240 --> 00:02:13,986
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
39
00:02:14,069 --> 00:02:15,988
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
40
00:02:16,071 --> 00:02:18,077
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
41
00:02:18,160 --> 00:02:20,078
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
42
00:02:20,161 --> 00:02:22,168
♪ 'Cause we've got
him on the spot ♪
43
00:02:22,251 --> 00:02:24,475
♪ Welcome back ♪
44
00:02:24,558 --> 00:02:26,607
♪ Welcome back, welcome back ♪
45
00:02:26,690 --> 00:02:29,043
♪ Welcome back ♪
46
00:02:29,126 --> 00:02:30,959
♪ Welcome back, welcome back ♪
47
00:02:31,042 --> 00:02:35,242
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
48
00:02:36,831 --> 00:02:38,933
Nobody trust me. Nobody's ever
trusted me in my whole life.
49
00:02:39,016 --> 00:02:40,595
Even my father
didn't trust me.
50
00:02:40,678 --> 00:02:42,778
That's not true.
51
00:02:42,941 --> 00:02:46,912
Then how come I had to give
him a receipt for my allowance?
52
00:02:47,790 --> 00:02:49,226
I trust you.
53
00:02:49,309 --> 00:02:51,964
You're supposed to.
We're married.
54
00:02:51,992 --> 00:02:54,076
Comes with the deal.
55
00:02:54,159 --> 00:02:57,684
I know. I remember the vows
we wrote for our wedding.
56
00:02:57,767 --> 00:03:00,491
- To love, honor and trust.
- Right.
57
00:03:00,491 --> 00:03:03,928
And I remember my father
told you to ask for receipts.
58
00:03:05,478 --> 00:03:07,893
I know. I still have it.
59
00:03:08,932 --> 00:03:10,896
[telephone ringing]
60
00:03:10,979 --> 00:03:12,436
Oh.
61
00:03:13,636 --> 00:03:16,030
[ringing continues]
62
00:03:16,113 --> 00:03:17,692
If that's my father
tell him the receipt
63
00:03:17,775 --> 00:03:21,638
for my birthday
present is in the mail.
64
00:03:21,721 --> 00:03:23,181
Hello?
65
00:03:23,554 --> 00:03:26,279
Uh-huh, yeah, hold on.
Honey, it's Boom Boom.
66
00:03:26,362 --> 00:03:28,081
Boom Boom who?
67
00:03:30,124 --> 00:03:31,986
How many Boom Booms do you know?
68
00:03:32,069 --> 00:03:35,330
Freddie Boom Boom?
Hi, Freddie.
69
00:03:35,413 --> 00:03:38,049
It's shakin' fine.
How's it shakin' with you?
70
00:03:39,278 --> 00:03:40,738
Good.
71
00:03:41,378 --> 00:03:43,681
No, no, hey, don't worry.
Look, you can trust me.
72
00:03:43,764 --> 00:03:46,680
You can trust me. Okay. Bye.
73
00:03:46,763 --> 00:03:48,325
Freddie Washington and
Vernajean Williams are comin'
74
00:03:48,326 --> 00:03:50,426
right over here. They got a
problem they wanna talk about.
75
00:03:51,713 --> 00:03:53,710
Put on your robe.
They said they'll be right over.
76
00:03:53,710 --> 00:03:55,254
[knocking on door]
77
00:03:58,200 --> 00:04:00,681
I wonder what took 'em so long.
78
00:04:01,384 --> 00:04:05,546
Quick, shut the door.
I don't want nobody to see me.
79
00:04:11,314 --> 00:04:14,877
Barbarino, are you dressed
for "The Late Late Show?"
80
00:04:15,586 --> 00:04:17,827
It's midnight, sweetheart.
81
00:04:18,109 --> 00:04:20,023
Did you bring the falcon?
82
00:04:20,085 --> 00:04:21,543
What?
83
00:04:23,876 --> 00:04:25,594
"Maltese Falcon."
84
00:04:25,678 --> 00:04:27,093
Where?
85
00:04:28,782 --> 00:04:30,978
Never mind. Barbarino,
what are you doin' here?
86
00:04:31,061 --> 00:04:33,404
Mr. Kotter,
I gotta talk to you.
87
00:04:33,488 --> 00:04:35,868
But you gotta promise
not to tell anybody.
88
00:04:35,951 --> 00:04:38,251
My lips are sealed.
89
00:04:38,334 --> 00:04:40,484
It's about Freddie
and Vernajean.
90
00:04:40,567 --> 00:04:42,395
They're quitting
school to get married.
91
00:04:42,479 --> 00:04:45,702
- What?
- And they don't even have to.
92
00:04:46,834 --> 00:04:49,315
You gotta do somethin'.
93
00:04:49,398 --> 00:04:50,772
[knocking on door]
94
00:04:50,855 --> 00:04:53,092
Right now I gotta
answer the door.
95
00:04:53,176 --> 00:04:55,239
I don't want nobody to know
that I'm talkin' to a teach.
96
00:04:55,323 --> 00:04:57,243
- You gotta hide me.
- Quick, into the bathroom.
97
00:04:57,326 --> 00:04:58,783
Alright.
98
00:05:01,633 --> 00:05:04,136
Quick, shut the door.
I don't want anybody to see me.
99
00:05:04,219 --> 00:05:06,637
Mr. Kotter, I gotta talk to ya.
100
00:05:06,720 --> 00:05:07,820
Uh, Julie, what do you know!
101
00:05:07,904 --> 00:05:11,303
As "The Late Late Show" has
a double feature tonight.
102
00:05:11,387 --> 00:05:12,965
Yeah, yeah, listen.
Freddie and Vernajean.
103
00:05:13,049 --> 00:05:14,994
They wanna get married
and you gotta stop it.
104
00:05:15,069 --> 00:05:16,113
[knocking on door]
105
00:05:16,197 --> 00:05:17,437
I'll hide in the bathroom.
106
00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:18,523
[Kotter] Oh, you better not.
107
00:05:18,523 --> 00:05:20,945
Vinnie's hiding
in the bathroom.
108
00:05:21,029 --> 00:05:22,749
That's okay.
109
00:05:29,337 --> 00:05:31,099
Close the door.
110
00:05:35,599 --> 00:05:37,381
I don't want nobody
to see me here.
111
00:05:37,464 --> 00:05:40,150
I certainly don't blame you.
You look ridiculous.
112
00:05:40,150 --> 00:05:42,619
Hey, Freddie and Vernajean
wanna get married.
113
00:05:42,702 --> 00:05:44,878
Oh, really? Ha ha.
Hear that, Julie?
114
00:05:44,961 --> 00:05:47,703
Ha ha. And you want
Mr. Kotter to stop 'em?
115
00:05:47,786 --> 00:05:49,832
No. Hey, look, I don't know.
116
00:05:49,915 --> 00:05:51,515
I mean, like, it oughta
be up to them, you know.
117
00:05:51,516 --> 00:05:53,127
Like, everybody's been
messin' with their head.
118
00:05:53,127 --> 00:05:54,694
You gotta get people
to leave 'em alone.
119
00:05:54,732 --> 00:05:55,907
[knocking on door]
120
00:05:55,990 --> 00:05:57,252
- Hey.
- I gotta answer the door.
121
00:05:57,317 --> 00:05:58,579
I don't want nobody
to see me here.
122
00:05:58,580 --> 00:05:59,561
I'm gonna hide in the bathroom.
123
00:05:59,562 --> 00:06:01,904
No, no, no,
you hide in the closet.
124
00:06:12,699 --> 00:06:15,402
Quick, shut the door.
I don't want nobody to see me.
125
00:06:15,484 --> 00:06:17,899
[wheezy laughing]
126
00:06:20,229 --> 00:06:23,230
Arnold, will you please
take off that head?
127
00:06:26,074 --> 00:06:27,513
Oh!
128
00:06:27,596 --> 00:06:29,968
It's hot in there, Mr. Kotter.
129
00:06:31,839 --> 00:06:34,743
I don't know how them
gorillas can stand it.
130
00:06:36,823 --> 00:06:38,625
Mr. Kotter, I gotta talk to you.
131
00:06:38,708 --> 00:06:40,527
Don't tell me.
Vernajean Williams
132
00:06:40,610 --> 00:06:42,248
and Freddie wanna get married.
133
00:06:42,332 --> 00:06:44,194
And you want Mr. Kotter
to either stop 'em
134
00:06:44,194 --> 00:06:45,775
or leave 'em alone.
135
00:06:45,858 --> 00:06:48,447
That is truly amazing.
136
00:06:50,545 --> 00:06:52,960
Do you do card tricks too?
137
00:06:54,351 --> 00:06:56,666
Look. Arnold,
I can't stop a wedding.
138
00:06:56,750 --> 00:06:58,534
I don't want you
to stop the wedding.
139
00:06:58,617 --> 00:07:00,200
I think it's very romantic.
140
00:07:00,200 --> 00:07:03,061
I want you to stop Vinnie
from stoppin' the wedding.
141
00:07:03,144 --> 00:07:04,558
[Vinnie] Hey.
142
00:07:06,169 --> 00:07:08,271
You got somebody
in the bathroom?
143
00:07:09,093 --> 00:07:11,214
The Ty-D-Bol Man.
144
00:07:13,741 --> 00:07:14,829
[knocking on door]
145
00:07:14,912 --> 00:07:16,110
I gotta hide me!
146
00:07:16,193 --> 00:07:17,914
[stammers] No, you... go on there's
147
00:07:17,996 --> 00:07:20,021
fire escape that enters
Empire State Building.
148
00:07:20,021 --> 00:07:21,481
Right, right.
149
00:07:22,568 --> 00:07:24,028
[Arnold] Oh.
150
00:07:24,333 --> 00:07:27,439
That's Vernajean and Washington.
What are we gonna do?
151
00:07:27,522 --> 00:07:30,425
I think we're gonna look
for a bigger apartment.
152
00:07:33,169 --> 00:07:34,627
Hi.
153
00:07:42,095 --> 00:07:44,196
- How you doin'?
- Okay.
154
00:07:44,280 --> 00:07:46,559
Maybe we came at a bad time.
155
00:07:46,643 --> 00:07:50,321
No, we were just spending
a quiet evening at home.
156
00:07:50,404 --> 00:07:51,205
Please, sit down.
157
00:07:51,288 --> 00:07:52,389
Hey, look, thanks for letting us
158
00:07:52,389 --> 00:07:54,011
fall by Mr. and Mrs. Kotter.
159
00:07:54,031 --> 00:07:56,410
Yeah, we really appreciate this.
160
00:07:56,493 --> 00:07:57,951
So?
161
00:07:58,856 --> 00:08:00,316
Anything new?
162
00:08:02,617 --> 00:08:05,000
Uh, Vernajean and me,
we're gettin' married
163
00:08:05,083 --> 00:08:06,781
and don't try to
talk us out of it.
164
00:08:06,845 --> 00:08:09,586
Can I ask you why
you're gettin' married?
165
00:08:09,588 --> 00:08:12,034
Vernajean's family is
movin' to Staten Island.
166
00:08:12,034 --> 00:08:15,595
So? I mean it's not like Staten
Island's on another planet.
167
00:08:15,679 --> 00:08:18,849
I can see you ain't
never been to Staten Island.
168
00:08:19,601 --> 00:08:20,881
Look, man, anyway
169
00:08:20,965 --> 00:08:23,489
Vernajean's daddy and me,
we don't exactly see eye to eye.
170
00:08:23,509 --> 00:08:25,812
Yeah, we're not even
supposed to see each other.
171
00:08:25,812 --> 00:08:28,982
Which is kind of hard
sitting in the same classroom.
172
00:08:29,493 --> 00:08:33,138
So, um... we're
gettin' married.
173
00:08:33,221 --> 00:08:35,524
You know, marriage
is a very big step.
174
00:08:35,544 --> 00:08:38,122
I mean, do you really
think that you're ready?
175
00:08:38,205 --> 00:08:40,335
Yeah, we're ready, I mean...
176
00:08:40,418 --> 00:08:43,504
...we're in love
and... I mean, that's enough.
177
00:08:44,564 --> 00:08:45,947
I don't know if it is, Freddie.
178
00:08:46,030 --> 00:08:49,054
I mean, I am speaking as
an experienced married person.
179
00:08:49,136 --> 00:08:52,040
And marriage is not
all a bowl of cherries.
180
00:08:55,571 --> 00:08:57,943
Let me give you
an example, okay?
181
00:08:58,875 --> 00:09:01,007
A wife buys a shirt
for her husband.
182
00:09:01,090 --> 00:09:03,072
It's not an attractive shirt.
183
00:09:03,072 --> 00:09:06,313
I mean, he feels like a fool
walkin' around in that shirt.
184
00:09:06,396 --> 00:09:07,376
Alright, but he wears it
185
00:09:07,377 --> 00:09:09,019
'cause he doesn't wanna
hurt her feelings.
186
00:09:09,039 --> 00:09:13,761
Gabe? You told me
you love that shirt.
187
00:09:14,986 --> 00:09:17,466
Julie, this is
a hypothetical situation.
188
00:09:17,549 --> 00:09:20,631
I am not referring
to this shirt.
189
00:09:21,072 --> 00:09:24,755
Thatis a $25 shirt.
190
00:09:24,838 --> 00:09:26,557
Answer the question.
191
00:09:26,640 --> 00:09:28,534
I hate the shirt.
192
00:09:29,826 --> 00:09:31,645
What else have you lied about?
193
00:09:31,727 --> 00:09:34,142
That's it. Nothing else.
194
00:09:37,416 --> 00:09:39,439
Your tuna casserole.
195
00:09:43,884 --> 00:09:47,266
You lovemy tuna casserole.
196
00:09:47,349 --> 00:09:51,231
No. Youlove your
tuna casserole.
197
00:09:51,314 --> 00:09:54,776
Nobody puts prunes
in a tuna casserole.
198
00:09:59,778 --> 00:10:02,438
There is no person in the
civilized world that'd eat--
199
00:10:02,521 --> 00:10:04,504
Mr. Kotter. Mr. Kotter.
Mrs. Kotter.
200
00:10:04,504 --> 00:10:06,262
We both know
what y'all doin'.
201
00:10:06,345 --> 00:10:08,468
- You do?
- Mm-hmm.
202
00:10:08,551 --> 00:10:09,851
Yeah, you're fightin'
in front of us
203
00:10:09,851 --> 00:10:12,292
so we won't get
married, right?
204
00:10:12,774 --> 00:10:14,234
We are?
205
00:10:15,217 --> 00:10:16,016
Of course.
206
00:10:16,017 --> 00:10:18,881
Well, any fool can see that
y'all really love each other.
207
00:10:18,881 --> 00:10:21,506
- And you're only playacting.
- Right.
208
00:10:21,589 --> 00:10:23,049
- Right!
- Right!
209
00:10:24,729 --> 00:10:27,450
- What was that?
- Mice.
210
00:10:28,838 --> 00:10:31,566
Well, anyway, we came over to
ask you to do us a favor.
211
00:10:31,649 --> 00:10:34,434
If you could give us our
wedding present in advance.
212
00:10:34,517 --> 00:10:37,824
Yeah, um, could
you tell our parents?
213
00:10:37,866 --> 00:10:40,502
Why don't I give you
a toaster instead?
214
00:10:41,716 --> 00:10:44,840
You can write your announcement
on an English muffin.
215
00:10:46,178 --> 00:10:48,557
Hey, look. No problem, baby.
216
00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:50,684
We just won't
tell our folks.
217
00:10:50,767 --> 00:10:52,972
Connin' the judge
ain't no big thing.
218
00:10:52,992 --> 00:10:54,475
Sure, I mean go ahead.
Con a judge.
219
00:10:54,475 --> 00:10:56,219
There's a lotta stupid
things you could do, Freddy.
220
00:10:56,239 --> 00:10:56,980
I mean, you could lie
about your age
221
00:10:56,980 --> 00:10:59,260
and run off to Maryland 'cause
there's no way you--
222
00:10:59,343 --> 00:11:02,133
Hey, wait, wait,
wait. Maryland.
223
00:11:02,216 --> 00:11:03,743
Hey, that's it baby.
We can go off to Maryland.
224
00:11:03,826 --> 00:11:05,999
Lie about our age. We ain't
gotta wait in Maryland.
225
00:11:06,082 --> 00:11:08,542
Hey, thanks a lot, Mr. Kotter.
226
00:11:09,482 --> 00:11:11,023
Thanks, good man. Hah!
227
00:11:11,106 --> 00:11:12,522
Hey, Mr. Kotter.
228
00:11:12,605 --> 00:11:15,369
You are a super dude.
229
00:11:15,452 --> 00:11:17,576
Hey, bye, Mr. Kotter.
Bye, Mrs. Kotter.
230
00:11:17,596 --> 00:11:19,190
- Bye-bye.
- Bye, mice.
231
00:11:19,273 --> 00:11:20,733
- Bye.
- Bye.
232
00:11:25,564 --> 00:11:27,107
Way to go, super dude.
233
00:11:27,190 --> 00:11:30,392
You just talked him
right over two state lines.
234
00:11:33,412 --> 00:11:35,153
[Barbarino] Some big help you were.
235
00:11:35,236 --> 00:11:36,598
Now, they're getting
married for sure.
236
00:11:36,598 --> 00:11:38,540
- Look, I didn't tell 'em--
- You're not a friend.
237
00:11:38,540 --> 00:11:41,224
You're nothin' but a teacher.
238
00:11:41,224 --> 00:11:43,206
Why can't I be your
teacher and your friend?
239
00:11:43,207 --> 00:11:44,817
It don't work that way, Kotter.
240
00:11:44,817 --> 00:11:47,820
You see, in this
vast universe of ours
241
00:11:47,832 --> 00:11:50,172
people are divided
into two groups.
242
00:11:50,255 --> 00:11:52,146
Us and them.
243
00:11:53,339 --> 00:11:55,140
You're them.
244
00:11:56,784 --> 00:11:59,206
We gotta go. Come on.
245
00:12:10,785 --> 00:12:12,706
Do you hear that, Bensonhurst?
246
00:12:12,789 --> 00:12:14,346
My father was right!
247
00:12:14,429 --> 00:12:16,312
I can't be trusted!
248
00:12:16,395 --> 00:12:19,519
[male 1] I trust you, mac. Go to sleep!
249
00:12:20,033 --> 00:12:22,453
♪ Welcome back ♪
250
00:12:22,536 --> 00:12:25,865
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪♪
251
00:12:26,811 --> 00:12:27,771
Good morning.
252
00:12:27,854 --> 00:12:29,270
[students] Good morning, Mr. Kotter.
253
00:12:29,297 --> 00:12:30,797
Alright.
254
00:12:31,522 --> 00:12:35,821
Now, yesterday, we had a problem
because nobody trusted anybody.
255
00:12:35,904 --> 00:12:37,566
Well, that's the
way of the world.
256
00:12:37,649 --> 00:12:40,412
Barbarino, trust
is a two-way street.
257
00:12:40,412 --> 00:12:42,673
Do you trust us?
258
00:12:45,678 --> 00:12:48,360
Epstein. Barbarino.
259
00:12:48,821 --> 00:12:52,844
Washington and Horshack.
Come over here with me.
260
00:12:53,606 --> 00:12:56,325
What's happenin', man?
261
00:12:59,754 --> 00:13:00,635
Shazam!
262
00:13:00,636 --> 00:13:02,559
[all yelling]
263
00:13:05,428 --> 00:13:08,551
Hey, how'd you know
we was gonna catch you?
264
00:13:08,634 --> 00:13:11,237
That's the point, Barbarino.
I trusted you.
265
00:13:11,237 --> 00:13:15,208
I knew that you guys weren't
gonna let me fall on my face.
266
00:13:16,963 --> 00:13:19,063
Okay. Sit down.
267
00:13:20,506 --> 00:13:25,009
That is very impressive,
Mr. Kotter.
268
00:13:30,879 --> 00:13:33,741
Where'd you
learn to do that?
269
00:13:34,434 --> 00:13:37,648
From the person I trust most
in the world. From my wife.
270
00:13:37,731 --> 00:13:39,902
You mean every day you go home
and you and Mrs. Kotter
271
00:13:39,902 --> 00:13:42,493
fall off the furniture
at each other?
272
00:13:44,898 --> 00:13:47,298
This is an object
lesson, Epstein.
273
00:13:47,381 --> 00:13:49,003
The trust between
a husband and a wife
274
00:13:49,003 --> 00:13:51,165
is the strongest kind
of trust there is.
275
00:13:51,184 --> 00:13:53,403
You know, we spend a lotta time
in the school teaching you about
276
00:13:53,468 --> 00:13:55,645
math about English,
about science
277
00:13:55,651 --> 00:13:57,732
but we don't teach
about being married.
278
00:13:57,753 --> 00:14:00,157
Something that eventually,
most of you are gonna do.
279
00:14:00,240 --> 00:14:04,083
So today, I've decided to have
a class on how to be married.
280
00:14:04,160 --> 00:14:06,143
You can't learn marriage
in a classroom, Mr. Kotter.
281
00:14:06,163 --> 00:14:08,799
You gotta pick it
up on the streets.
282
00:14:10,881 --> 00:14:12,626
Okay, well, I am takin'
it off the streets
283
00:14:12,626 --> 00:14:15,063
and putting it into
the classroom, alright?
284
00:14:15,113 --> 00:14:17,920
I'm gonna act out a whole
marriage in one homeroom period.
285
00:14:17,940 --> 00:14:19,434
That's my kinda course.
286
00:14:19,444 --> 00:14:22,769
Not much thinkin'
and plenty of action.
287
00:14:24,066 --> 00:14:25,908
Okay, now, Vernajean and Freddie
288
00:14:25,908 --> 00:14:28,449
you're planning to run off
to Maryland to tie the knot
289
00:14:28,532 --> 00:14:30,994
so, uh, you can play the leads.
290
00:14:30,994 --> 00:14:33,958
- Alright.
- What do you want us to do?
291
00:14:34,020 --> 00:14:35,882
Just improvise. You say
whatever comes into your head.
292
00:14:35,882 --> 00:14:37,842
React to the moment.
293
00:14:37,925 --> 00:14:40,323
Well, I ain't playin'.
294
00:14:40,406 --> 00:14:43,470
I ain't gonna contribute to
the delinquency of a minor.
295
00:14:43,553 --> 00:14:46,214
Me neither. I mean, you
just gave Vernajean the lead.
296
00:14:46,297 --> 00:14:49,158
And even though you are
my dearest, dearest friend
297
00:14:49,241 --> 00:14:52,163
I do not play supporting roles.
298
00:14:54,871 --> 00:14:56,481
Well, I'll play, Mr. Kotter.
299
00:14:56,564 --> 00:14:58,423
Don't you need
somebody to marry 'em?
300
00:14:58,506 --> 00:15:01,088
Okay, Epstein,
you marry 'em.
301
00:15:01,108 --> 00:15:03,741
Oh! Oh! Oh, oh!
302
00:15:05,154 --> 00:15:07,112
What about me?
What can I do?
303
00:15:07,195 --> 00:15:11,155
Horshack, I've decided
you're against this marriage.
304
00:15:11,238 --> 00:15:13,338
- I am?
- Yes.
305
00:15:14,161 --> 00:15:15,619
Okay.
306
00:15:16,972 --> 00:15:20,083
[scatting "Here comes the Bride"]
307
00:15:21,716 --> 00:15:23,130
[scatting stops]
308
00:15:25,476 --> 00:15:26,699
[scatting continues]
309
00:15:26,782 --> 00:15:28,196
[scatting stops]
310
00:15:31,930 --> 00:15:33,999
Okay, Epstein, will you
please conduct the ceremony?
311
00:15:34,082 --> 00:15:35,540
[Epstein clears throat]
312
00:15:36,128 --> 00:15:39,239
[singing in foreign language]
313
00:15:43,470 --> 00:15:44,634
[Freddie and Vernajean]
Whoo!
314
00:15:44,717 --> 00:15:47,088
[singing continues]
315
00:15:48,602 --> 00:15:50,125
Eh, man, that's
a pretty good tune
316
00:15:50,125 --> 00:15:52,209
but, um, what does that mean?
317
00:15:52,209 --> 00:15:54,875
I don't know, but it's
on the charts in Israel.
318
00:15:54,958 --> 00:15:57,641
Anybody got
a wine glass on 'em?
319
00:15:57,661 --> 00:15:58,461
[Rosalie] No.
320
00:15:58,463 --> 00:16:00,106
I got a thermos.
Would that help?
321
00:16:00,127 --> 00:16:02,194
It'll do in a pinch.
322
00:16:05,339 --> 00:16:06,840
Step on it!
323
00:16:06,923 --> 00:16:08,102
Oh!
324
00:16:08,185 --> 00:16:11,470
[humming in foreign language]
325
00:16:12,866 --> 00:16:16,238
[students applauding]
326
00:16:17,044 --> 00:16:18,504
Hello? Hello?
327
00:16:19,394 --> 00:16:22,277
Uh, Mr. Fiddler, would you
mind comin' off the roof?
328
00:16:22,360 --> 00:16:23,701
Finish your ceremony.
329
00:16:23,784 --> 00:16:25,517
[Epstein clears throat]
330
00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:29,095
By the power invested
in me by Mr. Kotter
331
00:16:29,178 --> 00:16:31,223
I now pronounce
you man and wife.
332
00:16:31,306 --> 00:16:32,720
Mazel tov.
333
00:16:34,249 --> 00:16:36,489
Who you callin' a mazel tax?
334
00:16:37,430 --> 00:16:39,331
Freddie, he just
wished you good luck.
335
00:16:39,414 --> 00:16:42,317
If he says anything bad
I'll let you know.
336
00:16:43,499 --> 00:16:44,922
Aren't you forgetting something?
337
00:16:45,005 --> 00:16:46,463
Oh!
338
00:16:50,335 --> 00:16:52,271
[clattering]
339
00:16:53,794 --> 00:16:57,304
Well, I was drinkin'
too much coffee anyway.
340
00:16:57,387 --> 00:16:59,439
Okay, marriage is over.
Time for the honeymoon.
341
00:16:59,475 --> 00:17:00,960
- Oh, kiss me, baby.
- Come here, baby.
342
00:17:01,042 --> 00:17:02,502
Mmm.
343
00:17:03,615 --> 00:17:07,767
- Honeymoon is over.
- Oh... that's the honeymoon?
344
00:17:07,850 --> 00:17:09,498
Well, this is
a ten-minute marriage
345
00:17:09,498 --> 00:17:12,422
your five-second honeymoon
is just about right.
346
00:17:12,423 --> 00:17:14,085
Now it's time to have children.
347
00:17:14,086 --> 00:17:16,849
- What?
- Wait, wait, wa-a-ait a minute.
348
00:17:16,850 --> 00:17:19,749
We wasn't plannin' to
have no kids right away.
349
00:17:19,750 --> 00:17:22,861
Well, you know,
accidents do happen.
350
00:17:24,884 --> 00:17:27,486
I think I was a accident.
351
00:17:32,834 --> 00:17:34,236
Okay, Arnold,
you come up here.
352
00:17:34,236 --> 00:17:36,401
You play Vernajean's
and Freddie's accident.
353
00:17:36,401 --> 00:17:37,861
[Arnold] Okay.
354
00:17:39,205 --> 00:17:41,304
I'm sorry, Vinnie.
355
00:17:41,990 --> 00:17:45,276
But a man's gotta do
what a man's gotta do.
356
00:17:53,390 --> 00:17:56,071
He ain't exactly
what I had in mind.
357
00:17:56,674 --> 00:17:58,455
Okay, now the three
of you are at home
358
00:17:58,455 --> 00:18:01,475
in your one-room apartment
when all of a sudden
359
00:18:01,559 --> 00:18:04,780
you get a visit from
an unexpected guest.
360
00:18:04,863 --> 00:18:07,061
I play the unexpected guest.
361
00:18:07,062 --> 00:18:08,407
[Vernajean] Okay.
362
00:18:08,490 --> 00:18:10,616
[knocking]
363
00:18:10,699 --> 00:18:12,726
- Darlin', I wonder who that is?
- Mmm.
364
00:18:12,810 --> 00:18:15,886
It's Mr. Kotter playin'
an unexpected guest.
365
00:18:15,887 --> 00:18:18,304
[laughing]
366
00:18:21,298 --> 00:18:25,975
- Who is it?
- My name is Vito Cornfeldt.
367
00:18:26,114 --> 00:18:30,750
I am from the Strong-Arm
Rental Agency. Ha ha ha.
368
00:18:31,824 --> 00:18:33,907
I am here to collect
the rent because you people
369
00:18:33,907 --> 00:18:36,455
have fallen 12 years behind.
370
00:18:39,138 --> 00:18:41,458
Man, I thought
you paid the rent!
371
00:18:41,542 --> 00:18:44,926
Don't worry, baby. I'm gonna
handle the whole thing.
372
00:18:46,030 --> 00:18:47,444
Hi there.
373
00:18:48,043 --> 00:18:49,723
[chuckling]
374
00:18:49,806 --> 00:18:51,619
You know, I've... I've had
a few business setbacks.
375
00:18:51,702 --> 00:18:53,364
You know, couple
of bad investments.
376
00:18:53,364 --> 00:18:57,190
And, um, ha ha ha.
377
00:18:57,191 --> 00:18:58,587
Ha ha ha.
378
00:18:58,670 --> 00:19:01,853
How about a little
more of that, uh, time?
379
00:19:01,853 --> 00:19:04,856
Ha ha, I don't
think you understand.
380
00:19:04,861 --> 00:19:08,386
When they send me to
your door, your time is up.
381
00:19:08,386 --> 00:19:09,395
Ha ha ha.
382
00:19:09,436 --> 00:19:11,721
[Arnold crying]
383
00:19:12,873 --> 00:19:17,157
That's the ugliest baby
I ever saw in my life.
384
00:19:19,625 --> 00:19:20,600
[Arnold crying]
385
00:19:20,684 --> 00:19:22,184
Why don't you just go ahead
and pay the man.
386
00:19:22,184 --> 00:19:23,920
He's upsetting my child.
387
00:19:24,004 --> 00:19:25,745
Uh, don't bug me.
Don't bug me, woman.
388
00:19:25,829 --> 00:19:28,073
No rent is stilltoo much
rent for this fleabag.
389
00:19:28,073 --> 00:19:31,013
You tell 'em, pop!
390
00:19:31,096 --> 00:19:32,196
Now don't you yell at him.
391
00:19:32,279 --> 00:19:35,154
It ain't his fault
you can't support us!
392
00:19:35,237 --> 00:19:37,023
Okay, then whose
fault is it?
393
00:19:37,106 --> 00:19:39,690
If we hadn't gotten married,
I wouldn't have to quit school.
394
00:19:39,710 --> 00:19:43,451
Oh, look, it ain't my
fault that I got pregnant!
395
00:19:43,534 --> 00:19:46,956
I don't know why we got
married in the first place.
396
00:19:47,040 --> 00:19:48,841
'Cause I didn't want you going
off meetin' new guys.
397
00:19:48,925 --> 00:19:50,223
That's why!
398
00:19:50,306 --> 00:19:51,948
And goin' off with those
Staten Island dudes.
399
00:19:51,968 --> 00:19:53,425
That's why!
400
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,261
Yeah, I don't wanna
play anymore.
401
00:20:06,529 --> 00:20:07,987
Hey!
402
00:20:09,694 --> 00:20:11,108
Freddie.
403
00:20:12,435 --> 00:20:14,057
Man, I promise
to be true to you.
404
00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:16,618
Don't you trust me?
405
00:20:16,701 --> 00:20:19,054
I don't believe this.
406
00:20:19,138 --> 00:20:21,697
I mean, I'm worried
about you guys trusting me.
407
00:20:21,781 --> 00:20:23,621
You don't even
trust each other.
408
00:20:23,621 --> 00:20:26,036
[bell ringing]
409
00:20:28,928 --> 00:20:31,472
I think I just became a orphan.
410
00:20:34,253 --> 00:20:36,033
Little orphan Arnold.
411
00:20:36,116 --> 00:20:37,835
[Arnold laughing]
412
00:20:42,497 --> 00:20:44,079
Thanks a lot for
the opportunity, Mr. Kotter.
413
00:20:44,162 --> 00:20:47,724
You know, I'm also available
for brits and bar mitzvahs.
414
00:20:49,506 --> 00:20:51,849
Hey, nice goin'.
415
00:20:52,471 --> 00:20:57,337
The way you broke up that
marriage was very sneaky.
416
00:20:57,500 --> 00:20:59,741
I like that in a person.
417
00:21:00,885 --> 00:21:03,788
Thanks a lot, Vinnie.
I think you're sneaky too.
418
00:21:06,811 --> 00:21:08,655
Freddie, Freddie,
wait a second.
419
00:21:08,738 --> 00:21:10,438
I mean, I don't
understand somethin'.
420
00:21:10,522 --> 00:21:12,823
Why didn't you tell Vernajean,
the way you felt before?
421
00:21:12,906 --> 00:21:16,290
Um, hey, I couldn't, man.
422
00:21:16,290 --> 00:21:17,549
It's just not cool
to tell someone
423
00:21:17,632 --> 00:21:19,571
you're afraid of losin' them.
424
00:21:19,654 --> 00:21:21,275
Eh, Freddie.
425
00:21:23,098 --> 00:21:25,120
Man, you wouldn't lose me.
426
00:21:26,722 --> 00:21:28,180
I wouldn't?
427
00:21:28,835 --> 00:21:30,122
Mm-mm.
428
00:21:30,205 --> 00:21:33,026
You mean, we don't
have to get married now?
429
00:21:33,109 --> 00:21:36,351
Well, I'll take a rain check.
430
00:21:37,815 --> 00:21:40,518
- Come on.
- Hey, thanks.
431
00:21:47,756 --> 00:21:49,216
Woo-hoo!
432
00:21:50,273 --> 00:21:52,819
[tapping feet]
433
00:22:01,571 --> 00:22:05,736
The mind stops when you least
expect, doesn't it, Kotter?
434
00:22:06,640 --> 00:22:08,441
I got through to them,
Mr. Woodman.
435
00:22:08,523 --> 00:22:10,307
I got through to them.
436
00:22:10,327 --> 00:22:14,095
Pure luck, Kotter.
It'll never happen again.
437
00:22:14,095 --> 00:22:15,792
You can't discourage me,
Mr. Woodman.
438
00:22:15,838 --> 00:22:19,542
Nothing you can say will make
me go off with Jacques Cousteau.
439
00:22:20,387 --> 00:22:24,291
I am invincible. I am teacher.
440
00:22:33,570 --> 00:22:35,669
You are nuts!
441
00:22:37,215 --> 00:22:40,542
Don't be fooled by
a momentary victory, Kotter.
442
00:22:40,625 --> 00:22:43,251
The world is divided
into two parts.
443
00:22:43,271 --> 00:22:45,593
Us and them.
444
00:22:46,217 --> 00:22:48,317
And they're them.
445
00:22:48,880 --> 00:22:54,071
And come to think of it...
you are them too.
446
00:22:54,154 --> 00:22:56,294
Yeah? Well, thank you.
447
00:22:56,378 --> 00:22:59,107
That's the nicest
remark I've ever heard.
448
00:22:59,190 --> 00:23:02,023
♪ Welcome back ♪
449
00:23:02,106 --> 00:23:05,601
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
450
00:23:05,601 --> 00:23:07,189
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
451
00:23:08,082 --> 00:23:08,657
Did I ever tell you
that the Kotter family
452
00:23:08,657 --> 00:23:10,015
has been in outer space?
453
00:23:10,099 --> 00:23:12,155
No. But you will.
454
00:23:12,238 --> 00:23:13,742
I am serious, Julie.
455
00:23:13,825 --> 00:23:17,330
My Uncle Buzz Kotter...
was an astronaut.
456
00:23:17,350 --> 00:23:20,179
They sent him into outer
space with a monkey.
457
00:23:20,263 --> 00:23:21,244
- Uh-huh.
- Very exciting.
458
00:23:21,327 --> 00:23:23,988
I mean five minutes after take
off, a red light flashes on.
459
00:23:24,071 --> 00:23:25,593
Tell the monkey to
activate the rockets
460
00:23:25,593 --> 00:23:27,754
and make sure there's
plenty of oxygen in the capsule.
461
00:23:27,837 --> 00:23:29,419
Well, what did Uncle Buzz do?
462
00:23:29,419 --> 00:23:31,642
I'm gettin' to him,
I'm gettin' to him, okay.
463
00:23:31,662 --> 00:23:33,525
An hour later, another
green light flashes.
464
00:23:33,525 --> 00:23:36,443
Tells the monkey to check
all temperature gauges.
465
00:23:36,526 --> 00:23:40,071
Then, about five minutes later,
Uncle Buzz's red light flashes.
466
00:23:40,155 --> 00:23:43,196
And what did Uncle Buzz's
red light tell him to do?
467
00:23:43,279 --> 00:23:45,171
Feed the monkey.
468
00:23:45,448 --> 00:23:48,238
♪ Welcome back ♪
469
00:23:48,321 --> 00:23:51,302
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪♪
470
00:23:51,716 --> 00:23:53,913
[theme song]
471
00:23:58,766 --> 00:24:01,468
♪ Welcome back ♪
472
00:24:01,551 --> 00:24:05,254
♪ Your dreams were
your ticket out ♪
473
00:24:05,337 --> 00:24:07,344
♪ Welcome back ♪
474
00:24:07,427 --> 00:24:12,218
♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪
475
00:24:12,301 --> 00:24:14,437
♪ Well the names
have all changed ♪
476
00:24:14,520 --> 00:24:16,571
♪ Since you hung around ♪
477
00:24:16,654 --> 00:24:18,747
♪ But those dreams
have remained ♪
478
00:24:18,830 --> 00:24:21,052
♪ And they've turned around ♪
479
00:24:21,135 --> 00:24:23,360
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
480
00:24:23,443 --> 00:24:25,187
♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪
481
00:24:25,270 --> 00:24:27,407
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
482
00:24:27,490 --> 00:24:29,540
♪ Back here where we need ya ♪
483
00:24:29,623 --> 00:24:31,324
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
484
00:24:31,407 --> 00:24:33,413
♪ 'Cause we've got
him on the spot ♪
485
00:24:33,496 --> 00:24:35,850
♪ Welcome back ♪
486
00:24:35,933 --> 00:24:37,940
♪ Welcome back, welcome back ♪
487
00:24:38,023 --> 00:24:40,071
♪ Welcome back ♪
488
00:24:40,154 --> 00:24:42,422
♪ Welcome back, welcome back ♪
489
00:24:42,505 --> 00:24:44,511
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
490
00:24:44,594 --> 00:24:46,775
♪ Welcome back, welcome back ♪
491
00:24:46,858 --> 00:24:48,864
♪ 'Cause we've got
him on the spot ♪
492
00:24:48,947 --> 00:24:51,040
♪ Welcome back, welcome back ♪
493
00:24:51,123 --> 00:24:53,259
♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪
494
00:24:53,342 --> 00:24:55,348
♪ 'Cause we've got
him on the spot ♪
495
00:24:55,431 --> 00:24:57,523
♪ Welcome back ♪
496
00:24:57,606 --> 00:24:59,614
♪ Welcome back, welcome back ♪
497
00:24:59,697 --> 00:25:01,746
♪ Welcome back ♪
498
00:25:01,829 --> 00:25:04,139
♪ Welcome back, welcome back ♪
499
00:25:04,222 --> 00:25:05,050
♪ Welcome back ♪♪
36587
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