All language subtitles for Welcome.Back.Kotter.S01E05.The.Election.1080p.AMZN.WEB-DL.DDP2.0.H.264-BTN_track3_[eng]

How's it goin', honey?

Great. The kids are writing
little compositions

about their parents.

Did I ever tell you
when I was young

I always thought
that I was adopted?

No. Really?

My parents never said anything.

So one day I decided
I'll just go and ask.

Good for you.

The day I graduated
from Buchanan

went right to my father,
had my diploma in my hand

I looked him
straight in the eye.

I said, "Ling Chow..."

I said, "Was I adopted?"

He said,
"No, you're not adopted.

You rented."

[theme music]

[John Sebastian singing "Welcome back"]

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪

♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪

♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪

♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪

♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Yeah we tease him a lot 'cause
we've got him on the spot ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪♪

Vote for Vinnie.

Barbarino for president.
That's my man.

Barbarino for president.

Hey.

Hey.

Perhaps you didn't hear me, huh?

I said,
Barbarino for president.

Now, I want you
to be wearing that

when I see you
at sixth period, eh?

[bell ringing]

Oh, uh, Kotter.

Kotter, I don't believe this,
but I understand

one of your Sweathogs,
uh, one of your, uh

remedial academics is, uh...

...is, uh, running
for Student Body President.

It's okay, Mr. Woodman,
you can use the word.

Sweathog is a term
of affection and endearment.

Uh, well, since one of your
Sweathogs has decided to run

I think you better have a copy
of the campaign regulations.

I suggest you have
your group memorize 'em.

They might chant them
every morning.

Hey, what's the big deal?
Vinnie's not the first

Sweathog who ever ran.

Oh, that's right.
Uh, back in 1962

Jerry Slater was disqualified
for stuffing

the ballot box
with his opponent.

Look, don't worry about Vinnie,
Mr. Woodman.

You just make sure the other
candidates follow the rules.

Kotter, the other candidates
happen to be Scott Phillips

and Judy Borden.

Scott, as you know,
is captain of the debating team.

Judy is a straight A student.

She started the committee
for student's rights.

- Oh, she started that?
- Nobody's perfect, Kotter.

You're really an enlightened
educator, Mr. Woodman.

It's too bad you didn't
work at "Boys Town."

You could have kept Mickey
Rooney after school

for being short.

I never thought of Mickey Rooney
as being short.

Hi, Scott.

"Don't be a clot.
Vote for Scott."

I didn't know you was runnin'
for president, Scott.

Ain't you gonna vote for Vinnie?

Hey, what do you think,
Mr. Kotter?

I don't know, I haven't seen
that many teeth since "Jaws."

Hey, Vinnie.

If you are president,
I'll be first lady.

Hey, now, wait,
now, don't get carried away.

Remember, a woman's place
is in the car.

Sorry, I'm late, Mr. Kotter.

But a campaign manager's work
is never done.

I was busy
beating up the vote.

Epstein.

That's getting out the vote.

Voters who are beat up,
cannot get out the vote. Right?

Yeah, that's what
I meant, get out.

[Kotter] Okay. Now, the idea, the
principle behind an election

is to show you
how our system works.

Now, what would you
all wanna do

if this was
a real presidential campaign?

Not get caught.

Hey, yo, man.

Me as your Presidential
Press Secretary

Frederick "Scoop Scoop"
Washington.

Okay.

Come here, Washington.

You got the spirit.
Now, let's see what kind of

press secretary you'd make.

No comment.

I haven't asked you
a question yet.

Oh, I'm just practicing.
Go ahead.

[chuckles]

What is Barbarino's position
on student dress codes?

Well, I'll say this about that.

Mr. Barbarino has been
studying the matter

on student dress codes
very carefully.

And definitely believes
that students should be dressed.

[all laughing]

What about student, uh,
vandalism?

Vandals should be dressed too.

Can you please
answer the question?

- What question?
- The question I just asked you.

- What was that?
- I don't know, I forgot.

It's okay, Mr. Kotter.

It happens to me all the time.

I raise my hand and I forget
what I was gonna say.

Maybe you was gonna aks
to leave the room.

I'm the teacher, Arnold.
I don't have to aks.

- Yeah, right.
- Okay, Barbarino--

But if you have
to leave the room

it's okay with me anyway.

I'll try remember that, Arnold.

- Okay.
- Can I continue now?

Oh, go ahead, go ahead.

Okay. Barbarino, you got
yourself a press secretary.

Now, you need a cabinet.

What for, Mr. Kotter?
He's already got a locker.

[all laughing]

Hey, Vinnie, how about a nice,
soft cabinet job for me?

Like, uh, secretary of fear
or somethin' like that.

Why not, Epstein, you're already

my campaign manager
and my right hand man.

Hey, what about me?
Could I be one of your fingers?

- Sure. Pick one.
- Uh...

Oh, wait, I'll make it easier.
I'll mix 'em up.

You see, Mr. Kotter?

When I'm elected, my people get
anything they want. Even you.

May-maybe I could get you, uh,
promoted to a better class.

I appreciate the thought,
Vinnie.

But you're goin' about
this all wrong.

Look, if you wanna win, what you
need is, uh, need a platform.

Oh, I-I already got a platform.

I'm a law and order candidate.

- I make the laws and...
- I keep the order.

[laughing]

This is an election.
This is not a military takeover.

You're goin' about this
all wrong.

Come on. "Vote for Vinnie,
and nobody gets hurt?"

A secretary of fear?

Look, why do you guys think
a Sweathog has never been

elected president before?

'Cause nobody likes us.

No, because nobody
has ever shown

the positive side
of being a Sweathog.

Now, look who
you're runnin' against.

Scott Phillips and Judy Borden.

Who? Judy Borden?

She's so fat.

She is so-o-o fat.

How fat is she?

She's so fat that last year
she ran for homecoming queen

and was elected the float.

[laughing]

Come on, Vinnie.
What about Scott Phillips, huh?

Most popular kid in school.
Straight A student.

You wanna beat a guy like Scott

you gotta project
something different.

Like what?

I don't know.
Remember, it's all image.

Watch me.

Hi, there.
My name is Vinnie Barbarino.

Dynamic young man on the move.

And remember, on election day,
I want your support.

Vin is him.

Oh.

You see where I'm goin', Vinnie?

Yeah. Off the deep end.

[all laughing]

Get out there, talk to people.
Listen to their problems.

Hi, there. I'm Vinnie Barbarino.

- Dynamic young man on the move.
- And, uh, hi there to you.

I'm F. "Boom Boom" Washington.
Dynamic ghetto dweller.

Standing still.

[laughing]

Okay, guys.
Let's get serious.

You gotta make people who have

never met you
wanna vote for you.

This is more than just
a school assembly.

Pretend it's a big presidential
campaign with the conventions.

You know, you've seen
a convention on TV.

Hey, sure, man, that's where
8000 turkeys put on funny hats

sit on bridge chairs

and vote for the dude
with the most balloons.

Not quite, Washington.
It's really democracy in action.

This is how it'd go.

[tapping] Will the convention
please come to order?

Alright. Oklahoma,
how do you vote?

Mr. chairman.

Oklahoma, where corn grows
as high as an elephant's eye.

casts six votes
for Vinnie Barbarino.

[all cheering]

Kansas, how do you vote?

Mr. chairman, Kansas,
the home of Dorothy, Toto

and the Wizard Of Oz

casts five votes
for Vinnie Barbarino.

[all cheering]

Oregon, the first state
to decriminalize marijuana

how do you vote?

Mr. chairman, Oregon casts
all its votes, uh...

Seven votes, man,
for uh...

...beautiful person,
really, uh...

...Vinnie Barbarino.

[all cheering]

Mr. Vinnie Barbarino!

[all] Vinnie! Vinnie! Vinnie!

Vinnie! Vinnie! Vinnie!

Cut it. Stop.

Can I borrow your coat, please?

- My coat?
- Yeah.

- Yeah, you can.
- Thank you.

Hi, there.

I'm Vin Barbarino.

And I'm running for the office
of student body president.

If elected,
I promise less homework.

Now how you're gonna keep
a promise like less homework?

If I'm elected,
I'm gonna do less homework.

Okay. Sit down, Barbarino.

[all] Wooh.

Alright, now,
you gotta say things

that the people
are gonna believe.

You gotta make it like you have
a vision for a better Buchanan.

Like you maybe
have a great dream.

'Oh. I have great dreams
sometimes.

Terrific, Horshack.

Barbarino,
if we want to win, we gotta--

What is this "we" stuff?

I thought I was the guy
who is runnin'.

You are. But if you wanna win

you just gotta do things
the right way.

[bell rings]

- Go, Buchanan!
- Go, Buchanan!

- Do we love you?
- Aah!

I wanna talk to you.

Look, Vinnie,
I'm trying to help you.

Now when you do your
speech tomorrow

you got to look really good.

I got this great
navy blue turtleneck sweater

it's got a little alligator
on the pocket.

I don't want your image,
I don't want your sweater

and I don't want your alligator.

Hey, Vinnie.

Look, I don't want to turn
into somebody else. I like me.

And if me isn't good enough
to be president

I don't want to be president.

I withdraw. You run.

You're the one
with the alligator.

Hi, Mr. Kotter.

Hiya, Judy, Scott.
What's happenin'?

Mr. Kotter, you can tell
Barbarino and Epstein

that Judy and I are withdrawing
from the election.

So would you mind tellin'
Horshack to stop callin' me up

and breathin' into the phone?

Running for student
body president of Buchanan...

...nobody.

[theme music]

Hey. Thanks for comin' in early,
guys.

So this is the faculty
lounge, huh?

Sort of the way I expected it
to be, you know?

Dull. Hey,
what do you teachers do here?

Play show and tell?

No. For fun, Epstein,
we just sit around

and laugh at your test papers.

Hey, Vinnie, look at this.
Look at this here.

Instant bouillon cubes.

Instant soup, instant broth.

None of this stuff is real.

Don't you know about teachers,
Epstein?

We're not born.
You just add hot water and stir.

Barbarino.

- Is he mad at me?
- He ain't talkin'.

Come on, Vinnie.
Let's talk it out.

Hey, I know that look,
and he ain't talkin'.

If you wanna talk him,
you talk to me.

Then I'll talk to him,
then he'll talk to me

then I'll talk to you.

Simple.

Vinnie.

Hello.

Hello.

Tell him because I blew it

it's no reason
he should blow it too.

Vinnie.

He says you're blowin' it.

[speaking in foreign language]

- What did he say?
- He said...

[speaking in foreign language]

Well,
what does he mean by that?

Vinnie,
what do you mean by that?

I don't know. When my
grandmother gets mad at me

she talks that way.

When his grandmother gets mad
at him, she talks that way.

Okay, you tell him that

my grandmother has a message
for his grandmother.

His grandmother has a message
for your grandmother.

- What is it?
- What is it?

[speaking in foreign language]

- What does that mean?
- What does that mean?

Well, tell him that it means
because he's bugged at me

that's no reason
to cheat the Sweathogs

out of their first
possible victory.

You're cheatin' us, man.

And tell him I have more
faith in him.

Tell him
I thought he's a leader.

So did I.

And tell him this is no time
to cop out on his friends.

That's rotten, Vinnie. Rotten!

You don't deserve
to be president, you know that.

That's it.
I'm going to run for president.

- We don't need him.
- You?

Epstein. You're my best friend
and even I'd have trouble

votin' for a person like you.

You quit.

I only quit 'cause
Mr. Kotter was making me

run with a phony image.

You're right, Vinnie.
Let me tell you guys a story.

When I went to Buchanan
I wanted to be

the student body president more
than anything in the world.

But nobody gave me
any inspiration.

They didn't believe
a Sweathog could do anything.

Vinnie, I just didn't
follow through.

But you got to follow through.

- Come on.
- No, wait.

Wait a second, Epstein.
Wait...

What you're trying to say
is that I oughta run

as Vinnie Barbarino, all
Sweathog and proud of it, right?

- That's right.
- Which reminds me, Epstein.

For some strange reason,
Scott Phillips and Judy Borden

have decided to withdraw
from the race.

Imagine that.

I didn't tell anybody
he couldn't run.

I just told Scott
if he got elected

he'd lose use of his face.

I didn't think he was
gonna take me seriously.

Well, you know,
people are funny that way.

They get annoyed when
you threaten their faces.

You mean...
You mean, I'm already president?

- Yeah.
- Well, that depends.

[Vinnie] On what?

On whether you're willing
to win by scaring

people out of an election.

You want that kind of a hollow,
unsatisfying victory?

Hey, man. Do you really
want to win that way?

Yeah.

If they wanna quit,
that's their decision.

The only thing is, I think maybe
you help them decide, Epstein.

No, I wasn't gonna
follow through.

Really. That's just my way.

Hey, you're not the only one
with a story, Kotter.

This is the naked city, baby.

There's eight million stories
out there, and I got one too.

You think it's easy
being a Puerto Rican Jew? Huh?

You think it's easy
growin' up in a house

with nine other
Puerto Rican Jews?

Half my brothers
were out stealin' pants.

The other half were
alterin' 'em.

I mean like,
I had to threaten people

just to get into the bathroom.

Who do you think you're
talking to, Epstein?

When I was a kid,
we didn't have a bathroom.

We had to use the Texaco station
across the street.

Wasn't bad if you made
in the light.

Get the point, Epstein. You're
not the only one that's poor.

It doesn't give you the right to
go around and threaten people.

Alright, alright. So what are
we supposed to do now?

I don't know,
I've just invited

Scott and Judy here
for a little talk.

- You're buttin' in again, man.
- No, I'm leaving.

It's up to you. Whatever you
decide is okay with me.

I just did guarantee them
a little

what you call
"diplomatic immunity."

What does that mean?

It means their dental patterns
are gonna remain unchanged.

Alrighty then,
so we'll talk to 'em.

- Okay. See you guys later.
- Right.

And, uh, I see Scott
and Judy later too, huh?

- What do you think?
- I think maybe he's right.

I mean, it's kind of like
going to fight a guy

and then when you get there,
he's already beat up.

[door opens]

[both] Hi.

He's coming. Hey, hey, hey.
He's coming, he's coming.

[all cheering]

- Alright!
- Alright, Vin.

Okay, don't you think we can
hold off on the victory party

till we find out
who won the election?

What're you talkin' about,
Mr. Kotter?

- Vinnie's got it locked up--
- Mr. Kotter, you were so right.

I mean, without Scott runnin'

it would have been a hollow
victory.

I feel, I feel like
this is just the beginning.

Today, Buchanan,
tomorrow, who knows?

- Alright.
- Ah! Yay!

- Governor Barbarino.
- Ooh!

- Senator Barbarino.
- Yeah!

- Emperor Barbarino.
- Hey!

[laughing]

You know, Julius Caesar
was an Italian.

Alright, Your Majesty.
If you'll get on your chariot

and go to your chair, we'll have
time to take attendance.

We have a minute left
Barbarino is here.

Cabenor is here.

Uh-oh. Straight time.

- Good morning, Mr. Kotter.
- Mr. Woodman.

Good morning, students.

Well, this is the moment
we've all been waiting for.

Gee, I'm sorry to hear
you're leaving, Mr. Woodman.

I am referring to the results

of the student election,
Mr. Kotter.

Vinnie! Vinnie!

Vinnie! Vinnie!

Who is that boy?

That's Arnold Horshack.

Strange.

I have a couple of
announcements.

Ah... The pledge of allegiance
is cancelled today.

I would appreciate very much
the return of the flag.

And now, the election result.

- Alright.
- Alright!

I am very happy to announce

that the new student body
president of Buchanan

is Scott Phillips.

And for all of you
who worked so hard

and fought so dirty
and didn't win...

...no troubles.

The results, Mr. Kotter.

Have a good day, children.

[bell rings]

Hey, man, eh,
that ain't no big thing.

Hey, Vinnie.

I'm gonna get 'em
for what they did, Vinnie.

I'm gonna get 'em
for what they did, Vinnie.

You did the best that you could.

Hey, come here.

Look at these results.

Judy Borden,11 votes, huh?

Vinnie Barbarino, 47 votes.

Scott Phillips, 322.

You really know how
to cheer a guy up, don't you?

Hey, that means
that 39 Sweathogs voted for you.

- You got through to them.
- I did?

Right. There was somethin'
in you that they responded to.

- Maybe it's my personality.
- Well, maybe it was.

Maybe if I run next year,
I could pick up

a couple of ten,
twenty votes, you know?

Who knows,
if I stay in school long enough.

I wonder if the president
of the United States

has to be
a high school graduate.

I lost.

But how could you lose?
You weren't even running.

How come I feel like I lost?

'Cause you were
buttin' in again, Kotter.

And now, from
the great state of yesterday

memory nominates the oldest
Sweathog, Gabe Kotter.

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪♪

What do you call that stuff?

You heard of
chicken cacciatore?

Well, this is an old family
delicacy.

It's called
chicken cattatore.

You just made that up.

Would I do a thing like that?

- Yeah.
- You're right.

[chuckles] This was handed down
from generation to generation.

Really? How far back?

Well, it goes all the way back
to my great ancestor

caveman Zock Kotter

who incidentally
invented the chicken.

Really?

Then he invented garbage.

[theme music]

♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪♪

[male announcer] '"Welcome Back Kotter"
was recorded live on tape

before a studio audience.

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Your dreams
were your ticket out ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ To that same old place
that you laughed about ♪

♪ Well the names have all
changed since you hung around ♪

♪ But those dreams have remained
and they've turned around ♪

♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪

♪ Who'd have thought
they'd lead ya ♪

♪ Back here where we need ya ♪♪ Back here where we need ya ♪

♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪

♪ 'Cause we've got him
on the spot ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ 'Cause we've got him
on the spot ♪

♪ Welcome back welcome back ♪

♪ Yeah we tease him a lot ♪

♪ 'Cause we've got him
on the spot ♪

♪ Welcome back... ♪♪