All language subtitles for The.Adventures.Of.Ozzie.And.Harriet.S02E18.AMZN.WEBRip.DDP2.0.x264-ZEW.en

- Point, point, to Hotpoint and
your life of ease, for Hotpoint

makes the toughest job
around the house a breeze.

- Yes, Hotpoint means the
best for you, appliances

and cabinets, too.

- Electric kitchens
through and through.

They work automatically for you.

So point, point, to
Hotpoint for your laundry.

Move Hotpoint in, and it moves
out all wash day drudgery.

So point, point, to
Hotpoint as the Nelsons do.

You'll toss your
cares up in the air

when Hotpoint works for you.

Let Hotpoint work for you.

[music playing]

- And now, Hotpoint presents
America's favorite family

comedy, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

[music playing]

Here is Ozzie, who plays
the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And of course, his lovely wife
Harriet, as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelsons' next
door neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

[music playing]

- Oh, hi, boys.

- Hi, Pop.

- Hey, what have we
got here, a banquet?

- We're just finishing
off some cake.

How's the PTA meeting?

- Oh, it went fine.

Thanks, Dave.

They elected your
old man chairman

of the setup committee.

- Oh, swell.

- Neat.

What is it?

- Well, it means I'm in
full charge of setting up

all the tables and chairs
for the annual card party.

- Sounds pretty important.

- Sounds like a
lot of work to me.

- How many guys
you got under you?

- Well, I'm allowed
to select an assistant

to help me move all the chairs.

- What do you have
in the package, Pop?

- Oh.

Oh, this is just
a little surprise

I bought for your
mother and you guys.

- Oh, terrific.

Can we see it now?

- Well, why don't we wait
till your mother comes down,

and we'll all look
at it together?

Looks like pretty
good cake there.

- Yeah, mom baked
it this morning.

- Supposed to be for dinner,
but we're just sampling it now.

- Oh.

- We don't want our dinner
to spoil our appetites.

- Want a bite, Pop?

- No, thanks, Dave.

I mean, dinner will be
in a couple of hours.

So I think I'll
take a whole slice.

- Well, I see my work's
being appreciated down here.

- Oh, hi.
- Sure is a good cake, Mom.

- Yeah, it sure is.

In fact, one more
piece to convince me.

- Oh, no, sir.

No more till dinnertime now.

Well, how'd the meeting go?

- Pop got elected
chairman of the committee.

- Yeah, and he bought
us a surprise, too.

- Well, how wonderful.

What's the surprise?

- Well, don't you want to
hear about the committee I

was selected chairman of?

- Well, of course I do.

What's the surprise?

- Well, you know the
boys are getting older,

and we don't have
many pictures of them.

We need new ones.

- Yeah, sure wish we'd get rid
of that corny picture of me

on the bear rug bare.

- I see you bought us
some film for our camera?

- Well, no, not exactly.

You know how old our camera is.

- Well, it's not so old.

- Well, I know, but this
clerk suggested that I

try one of the new models.

- Well, Ozzie, our old camera
takes very nice pictures.

- Well, I know, but this new
model is so much easier to use.

- How much?

- Oh, considerably.

- No, I mean how much?

- Oh, the price of it?

Well, only $3.98.

It's a genuine Mighty Elk, too.
- Oh.

Well, I suppose for that
price, you couldn't go wrong.

- Exactly, especially when you
can get two of them for $6.50.

- You mean you
bought two of them?

- No, not exactly.

- Oh, I should hope not.

- No, I bought four of them.

I figured it'd be a good idea.

See, in this way,
nobody would be

using somebody else's camera.

- That's right, Mom.

I could take a picture
of David taking

a picture of you
taking a picture of Pop

taking a picture of me.

- Let's see the cameras, Pop.
- Yeah, let's see 'em, Pop.

- OK.

[music playing]

- Hey, they're neat.

- Aren't they, though?

There's one for you, Dave.
- Thanks, Pop.

- One for Rick.
- Thanks, Pop.

- They are cute.

- Yeah, I think so.

They take good pictures, too.

I saw some of 'em
down at the store.

Easy to operate.

Oh, and the man gave us this
carrying case free of charge.

- One carrying case
for all four cameras?

- Well, it's a family special.

Gave us a gold key for
each member of the family.

- Oh, yeah.
Come on, David.

Let's take some pictures.
- Wait a minute.

Don't go too far now, fellas.
- Oh, no, pop.

We're just gonna
take some candid

shots around the neighborhood.
Thanks a lot for the cameras.

- Yeah, thanks a lot, Pop.

- OK, boys.

- Well, tell me
about the committee.

- Oh, well, it's nothing
really important.

You know the PTA's gonna
give a charity card party,

and they've elected me chairman
of the setup committee.

You know, in charge of setting
up the chairs and tables.

- It sounds like a
lot of heavy work.

- Well, yes, it does
at first, but see,

I'm going to entice a
few of my good friends

into doing the muscle work.

I'm just gonna direct the
proceedings, so to speak.

I think I'll see if I can't
inveigle my good friend

and neighbor, Mr.
Thornberry, into doing

some work for a change.

- That may not be as
easy as you think.

- I'll talk him into it.

Right now, I've talked myself
into a piece of this chocolate

cake.

Would you like a slice?

- Oh, no thank you.

I've decided to go on a
diet for a couple of weeks.

I've taken on a few
pounds recently.

Incidentally, so have you.

- Well, one slice
of cake more or less

isn't gonna make any difference.

You sure you don't
want just a thin slice?

- No, no thanks.

I've got enough willpower.

- Are you suggesting
I don't have?

- I'm not suggesting anything.

Chubby.

- Now, wait a minute.

Since you're so smart,
I'll tell you what I'll do.

You're going on a
diet for two weeks.

I'll go on a diet with you.

I'll make an agreement
neither one of us

eats any cake, candy,
ice cream, any sweets

of any sort for two weeks.
- Good.

It's a deal.

- It's a deal.

And don't forget, either.

[music playing]

- Here you are.

- Oh, thanks, Margaret.

- Isn't that lovely?

- Terrific.

[music playing]

- Hiya, Thorny.

- How are ya, Oz?

- Holy smokes, what the
heck do you call that?

- Well, it's a little dish
they call "Frozen Passion."

- Oh, I can believe it.

Looks like the return
of the Ice Age.

- It's not that big.

- What do they put in it?

- Well, it's a sort
of a sampler, Oz.

Has a little of everything
they could find.

- Yeah.

What are those little
greenish flecks there?

- Well, I'm not quite sure, but
I suspect shredded cucumber.

- Yummy yummy.

- It's a deluxe dish.

- I can believe that.

- I'm not quite hungry enough
to have the super deluxe.

- Wow.

It's pretty big.

In fact, I should say
it was almost too big.

- Oh, I don't know, Oz.

It's sure good.

- Now, though, eating things
like that between meals.

Aren't you afraid you'll
spoil your dinner?

- Oh, I don't know.

I may slow down by the
time I get to dessert,

but then I'm not a big
dessert eater, anyway.

- Oh, say, did you
hear that I was

elected the chairman of the
setup committee for the PTA?

- Well, congratulations.

It's quite a responsibility.

- Oh, well, thanks a lot.

It's nothing big, but
like everything else,

it needs a director.

Brains to supervise
the brawn, so to speak.

- Just a second, Oz.

Now, maybe I've got
this wrong, but I

thought the setup
committee was just

a fancy name for those guys who
lug up the tables and chairs

and set 'em up?

- Well, that's a rather
crude way of putting it.

Naturally, as I say,
there's a certain amount

of physical work
involved, but frankly, I

was counting on a few of my
good friends to help me out.

It is for a very
worthy cause, you know.

- Well, Oz, speaking
of good friends,

do you consider me one
of your good friends?

- Well, naturally, Thorny.

- Oz, I want you to
know that I consider you

one of my good friends.

- Oh, gee, thanks a lot.

I knew I could count on you.

- That's why I insist
that you let me buy you

one of these Frozen Passions.

- Well, thanks a lot,
Thorny, but I can't.

Not now.

Harriet and I made
a little agreement.

- Nonsense, Oz.

You're a friend of
mine, aren't ya?

- Of course I'm a
friend of yours,

but see, Harriet and I have made
this little agreement whereby

neither of us is going to eat
anything between meals for two

weeks, sweet stuff especially.

- Well, Oz, that's
downright insulting.

I'm your best friend.

I'm trying to treat you.

Why, they'd shoot a man
for this in the Old West.

- Yeah, well, that
isn't the point, Thorny.

Look, getting back to this
question of committee.

I mean, this question
of friendship.

- Look, Oz, why don't you
break down and have one?

I won't tell.

- No, it isn't that, Thorny.

That wouldn't be
fair to Harriet.

After all, we made an agreement.

- Say, wait a minute, Oz.

I just thought of something.

When did this agreement
of yours start?

- Say, Thorny, that's an idea.

I just assumed that
it started today.

It could very well
start tomorrow morning.

We didn't make any
definite starting time.

- Margaret, bring another
one of these Frozen Passions

for my friend, Mr. Nelson,
and put it on my check.

- Oh, it is certainly
very nice of you, Thorny.

- These Frozen Passions aren't
exactly cheap, you know.

- I know they aren't.

- Here you are, gentlemen.

- Oh, gee, thanks.

[music playing]

[thorny stutters]

- Check's on me, Oz.

- Oh, well, at least
let me pay for my own.

- Oz, I wouldn't think of it.

Just dive in and enjoy yourself.

- Awful nice.

I should pay for my
own, though, but--

Well...

Well.

- You know, Oz, I consider
this a tiny payment

for the friendship
and the understanding

you've given me all these years.

- Oh, don't be silly, Thorny.

I mean, you don't
owe me anything.

- Oh, Oz, but I do!

I don't think you realize
how much your friendship has

meant to me.

- Oh, how can you
say that, Thorny?

It's meant a great
deal to me, too.

- Well, I'm very glad
to know that, Oz,

and I think we oughta promise
that neither one of us

will ever make an unreasonable
request that might jeopardize

that friendship.

- Oh, of course.

That goes without saying.

- Holy mackerel, Oz, I've
got to be running along.

I'll see you later.
- But--

[music playing]

Hi, I bought a magazine
at the drugstore.

I'd had been home earlier, but
I got to talking with Thorny.

- Is he gonna help
you down at the PTA?

- Well, to be honest
with you, Harriet,

I didn't get around to
actually asking him.

You know, I don't think I will.

He's such a real good friend,
I just hate to impose on him.

- Good ol' Thorny.

- What are you laughing at?

- Oh, nothing.

It's just he's such a smart guy.

- Now, wait a minute.

I wonder if he--

Yes, I think you're right.

What kind of a friend
do you call that?

Treats me to a--

A fine thing.

I've got a little phoning to do.

I'm going to appoint somebody
number one muscle man.

- Who?

- A certain sheep
in wolf's clothing.

[music playing]

Wolf in sheep's
clothing, I mean.

[music playing]

- What's the matter?

- Oh, how about that
scheming Thornberry?

I've been phoning
him and phoning him,

and he's too much of
a coward to answer.

- Well, I really
can't say I blame him.

You want this paper?
- Oh, yeah.

Thanks.

Least he could do is to
have Catherine answer

and say he isn't home.

- Well, that'd be dishonest.

- Well, are you kidding?

What about that routine he
gave me at the drugstore?

Buttering me up just
so I wouldn't put him

on the committee.

What do you call that?

- Well, I think it was
pretty unfair myself.

As a matter of fact, I might
be pretty mad at Thorny.

- You see?

- Gonna use that scheme
myself to get a new dress.

- Harriet, you
can't waste any time

with a fast operator
like him around.

I'll call him up again.

- Why don't you
wait for a while?

Maybe he's gone down to
the drugstore or something.

- Yeah, that's right.

They say those
criminals usually return

to the scene of the crime.

- I wonder how the kids are
making out with their pictures?

They took them over to
Thornberry's to have

them developed.

- Oh, they've been
taking a lot of pictures

with their new cameras?

- Ricky says he's got
some pretty good shots.

- Well, I wouldn't be surprised.

The boys'll just keep in mind
that the candid shots are

always the most interesting.

Unposed pictures.

- Well, they've got
plenty of those.

They've been taking
pictures all over town.

- See?

I'll be afraid to take
a shower around here.

- You've already taken a bath
to the tune of four cameras.

- How could you say that?

You know darn well it
was a good investment.

The boys seem to like them.

I think it's a
good thing to have

them interested in a
constructive hobby like that,

too.

I'd like to see how
their pictures turn out.

- So would I. Well, I've got
some things to do upstairs.

- Oh, you see the boys, tell
them I'm looking for them,

will you?

- OK.
- Were you looking for me, Pop?

- Oh, yes.
Hi, Rick.

- That's quite a coincidence.

I was looking for you, too.

- Oh, you wouldn't
kid me now, would you?

- Oh, heck, I wouldn't kid
you for the world, Pop.

- Oh.

Very comforting.

You get any pictures taken
with your new camera?

- Yes, sir.

I got some real crazy
underwater shots.

- Underwater?

You must be the one who's crazy.

They'll never come out.

- Sure, they will.

They're real neat action shots.

- Action shots of what?

- Iggy Schwartz's goldfish.

- Goldfish?

Wait a minute now, you didn't
put this camera in the water,

did you?

- Oh, heck no, Pop.

It wouldn't fit in the fishbowl.

- Oh.

Well, that's good.

Did you get any of the
pictures developed?

- Yes, sir.

I got one here that oughta
hand you and mom a laugh.

- Oh.
Harriet?

Your mother's upstairs.
Harriet?

- Yes, dear?

- It isn't very good.

- Oh.

- It's you down at
the drug store eating

a great big dish of ice cream.

- So I see.

Harriet?
Harriet?

- Yes, dear?

- Never mind my calling you.

Stay right where you are.

- Guess it isn't
very good, huh, Pop?

- No.

On the contrary, Rick, this
is an excellent picture.

Gee, I don't remember your being
down at the drugstore, though.

I didn't see you.

- Yeah, I know pretty
sneaky, huh, Pop?

The lights weren't very good.

That's why it's a little fuzzy.

- Yes, it is fuzzy, isn't it?

All except my face and the
huge dish of ice cream.

They're just as
clear as crystal.

Say, you know something, son?

This is a picture I think I'd
like to have for my very own.

- Oh, Pop, why don't you
wait till I get a better one?

- Well, you may
not get a chance.

Look, I think I'd like to
have this for my wallet.

- Oh, heck, I just
thought I'd show it to you

and mom for a laugh
then throw it away.

- Well, here's the laugh.

Now how about $0.25?

- $0.25?

- Yes, for the picture.

I'll buy the picture
from you for $0.25.

- Oh, heck, Pop.

- No, no, no.

OK, $0.35, but that's
my final offer.

- Oh, no.

- OK, $0.50, but this is
the most I'll go. $0.50,

and I'll keep the picture.

How about it?

- OK, Pop, but I think
you're making a mistake.

- Well, yes.

I've made the mistake.

I'm not gonna make it again.

- I think I'll go down
to Sandy's malt shop

and get a Moron's Delight.

- Get one at the drugstore.

They give you more
whipped cream.

[music playing]

- Hi, Pop.

- Oh.

Oh, hello, son.

Where have you been?

- Down at the drugstore.

- With your camera?
- Yes, sir.

You get some pretty
good shots down there.

- Oh.
Yeah.

So I've observed.

- Only next time, I think I'll
get down behind the counter.

Get some better angles that way.

- Oh, then you took
some pictures, huh?

- Just a couple.

The one of you didn't
turn out so hot, though.

- Oh, you took a picture of me?

- Yes, sir.

I was just gonna show it to you
and mom and then throw it away.

Mom?

- Come over here and sit
down for a minute, son.

- Don't you want to
see the picture, Pop?

- Yes, yes, but I don't
want to disturb your mother.

She's sitting right upstairs
with those big ears.

- That's you there
eating ice cream.

- I know, David.

- It's a little fuzzy.

It's not really very good.

- I'd kind of like to
have this picture, Dave.

- Oh, it's so small, Pop.

It's not good for framing.

- No, I have to disagree
with you there, son.

I think this is an excellent
picture for framing me for--

I'd like to buy it from you.

- Oh, Pop.

It's not a good picture.

- Oh, I'd like to have it
for sentimental reasons.

Tell you what I'll do, son.

I'll give you $0.35 for it.

- How much did Ricky get?

- OK, I'll give you $0.50.

Here.

- Thanks, Pop.

- News certainly travels.

- I wonder why more
people don't take up

this camera stuff as a hobby?

- Yes, it is very interesting.

- Yeah, and the
pay is good, too.

- OK.

Bye now.

[music playing]

- Hi, Oz.

- Hi.

- I'm glad to find
you here alone.

I have a little business
to talk over with you.

- What kind of business?

- Well, to put it
bluntly, blackmail.

That's right, Oz.

You see, I've come into the
possession of a certain picture

through my underworld
connections

that I think you'll
be very interested in.

- OK, let me see it.

- There you are.

- Outside of the fact that it
isn't a very flattering picture

of me, I don't see what's
so damaging about it.

- Don't see anything damaging?

What about the little agreement
between you and Harriet?

- That doesn't start
until tomorrow morning,

and you know it.

- Yes, but does Harriet know it?

- Well, we haven't talked
about it specifically,

but I'm sure it's OK with her.

- Well, I guess it won't matter
if I show her the picture.

- I say, I'm sure it won't
make any difference to Harriet,

but I will admit
that the picture does

have a certain nuisance value.

So how much do you want for it?

- Oh, Oz, it won't
cost you a cent.

I'm not the type
of fellow who tries

to profit on human frailties.

I just want you to
promise that you

won't rope me in on that muscle
committee for the PTA card

party.

- Now, wait a minute, Thorny.

You're a member of the
PTA, and it's up to you

to do your share of the work.

- Well, Oz, I'm
willing to do my share.

That is provided it's
something I'm suited for.

Now, it just so happens that I
have great executive ability.

I'm always happy to do any
kind of work in that capacity.

As you say, there's the brain,
and there's also the brawn.

- And I suppose you
represent the brain?

- Naturally.

I just think you've seen a
good example of my cleverness.

So--

- Look, I'll tell
you what I'll do.

I'll be very happy to set
up the tables and chairs

if you'll help me.

Come on, what do
you say, Thorny?

Look, maybe we can coax
a couple of other slob--

friends into helping, too.

Come on, huh?

- OK, Oz.

But under the
circumstances, I think

it's only fair that
you reimburse me

for the frozen passion
I bought for you today.

- I tell you what I'll do.

After the two
weeks, I'll buy you

a super deluxe frozen passion.

But you help me with
the chairs and tables.

- That's a deal.

- Terrific.

- You're sure a tough guy
to take advantage of, boy.

- Thorny, it isn't
that I don't trust you,

and I know you have the
negative in your vault.

Oh, hey, a veritable windfall.

[music playing]

Oh, there you are.

I wondered where you were.

- I just thought I'd have a
piece of cake and a cup of tea.

Would you like a piece of cake?

- Oh, no thanks.

I'm trying-- Well, Harriet?

- Something wrong?

- Well, yes.

I thought we had an
agreement not to eat

any sweets between meals?

- Oh, we have, but that
doesn't start until tomorrow.

Are you sure you
wanna have some cake?

- Oh.

Well, yeah, I guess
I'll have just a little.

- Here, take mine.
- No, that's OK.

I'll just take this and eat
it the old-fashioned way.

Mm.

- Something wrong?

- Maybe I'm getting
absentminded or something,

but, you know, I thought
our agreement started today.

- Well, so did I, but
evidently, we were wrong.

- Well, what do you mean?

- Well, I was sitting
in the drugstore

today having a cup of tea
and a piece of rice cake,

and I heard a man
in the next booth

say that it didn't
start until tomorrow.

It was a very
interesting conversation.

- This was down
at the drugstore?

- Mm-hmm.

Guess he was sitting with
another man, and each of 'em

was eating a huge
dish of ice cream.

- Could you describe this man?

- Oh, I can do better than that.

Yeah, I took a picture of him.

[music playing]

Hey, where are you going?

- Well, I'll be right back.

I figure it's about time
I went down and bought

myself a photograph album.

[music playing]

[phone rings]

I'll get it.

Hello?

- Who is it?

- Oh, hello, Mr. Miller.

It's Mr. Miller
from the drugstore.

Yes, we did.

Oh, I'm sorry.

I thought he was--

Well, I'll take care
of it right away.

That gosh darn Thornberry!

- What's the matter?

- Well, he makes a big deal
out of treating me to a Frozen

Passion sundae yesterday and
then walks out of the drugstore

without paying the check.

[music playing]

- Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

will be brought to
you by Antizyme,

the new toothpaste that gives
you all-day immunity to tooth

decay acid.

[music playing]

- Well, good night, folks.

We'll see you again next week.

- Good night, and
remember, always look

to Hotpoint for
the finest first.

- Yes, sir.

That's what I always say, boy.

- What do you always
say, little man?

- Always look to Hotpoint
for the finest first.

[music playing]

- The part of the waitress
was played by Margaret Hadine.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

[music playing]

Don't forget that a
completely different episode

of "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday
night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for
time and radio station.

[music playing]

When you're at your
Hotpoint dealers,

ask him to demonstrate this
new Hotpoint dishwasher.

It double washes, double rinses,
and dries everything, even pots

and pans, electrically.

And yet, over the years, it
costs only about $0.10 a day

more than doing dishes by hand.

Just see it, and I'll
bet that Hotpoint

will change your viewpoint
about dishwashing automatically.

[music playing]