All language subtitles for The.Adventures.Of.Ozzie.And.Harriet.S02E11.AMZN.WEBRip.DDP2.0.x264-ZEW.en

- Well, it's about time.

I thought you were
never coming to bed.

- Oh, I guess I sort of
lost track of the time.

I got brushing my teeth with
that Listerine Antizyme Tooth

Paste, and I got kind of
carried away, I guess.

[chuckles]
- Turn off the light.

Let's go to sleep.

- You know, Ricky really
is right about that.

That sure is good
toothpaste, boy.

It foams up nice in your mouth.

- OK, OK.
Turn off the light.

Come on.
- And it tastes good.

It's darn good toothpaste.

[theme music]

- Listerine, the most widely
used antiseptic in the world,

and Antizyme, the first all-day
anti-enzyme toothpaste present

"The Adventures of
Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family.

Here is Ozzie, who plays
the part of Ozzie Nelson.

And, of course, his lovely
wife Harriet as Harriet Nelson.

The older of the Nelson boys,
David, appears as David Nelson.

And his younger brother,
the irrepressible Ricky,

played by Ricky Nelson.

The Nelson's next-door
neighbor, Thorny,

is played by Don DeFore.

- Aren't you fellas
going outside?

- Oh, I can't go out.

My English teacher gave me a
lot of extra homework to do.

- How come?

- Just because I didn't hand
in my notebook yesterday.

- Well, why didn't
you hand it in?

Wasn't it finished?

- Sure, but I lost it.

- Oh, well, that's a shame.

- It's a big gyp,
that's what it is.

- What's a big gyp?

- Oh, Ricky lost his
notebook yesterday,

and his teacher gave him
a lot of extra homework.

- Well, did you explain to
the teacher that you lost it?

- Yes, sir.

I told her exactly
what happened,

but I guess she
didn't believe me.

- Well, that's funny she
wouldn't believe you.

Uh, what did happen exactly?

- Well, I was walking
to school yesterday,

and my shoelace came
untied, so I put my notebook

on a truck parked next to the
drugstore while I tied my shoe.

- Now, wait a minute.

And the truck drove
away with your notebook?

- Heck, if you saw it,
why didn't you stop him?

- I didn't see
anything of the kind.

- Well, you mean that's
what happened, Rick?

- Yes, sir.

- And that's what
you told the teacher?

- Yes, sir.
That's what happened.

- Well, I don't blame her for
giving ya all that extra work.

- Well, uh, are you sure
you just didn't dream this

and your notebook is
still up in your room?

- Oh, no, sir.

- Personally, I agree with Pop.

Sounds like you dreamed
this whole thing up.

- I did not.

- Well, it's not that we
doubt your word, Rick,

but sometimes it's
easier to tell the truth

and take the punishment.

- That's what I did.

I told my teacher the truth, and
now I'm taking the punishment.

- Yes, son, but I mean sometimes
the punishment isn't so severe

when you tell the real truth.

That is, I don't mean
to imply that you're

not, uh, telling the--

uh, uh, Harriet, do you
have any suggestions?

- Well, I suggest you get
started on some of that work

before the whole day is gone.

- Well, come on, little man.

I'll give you a hand.

- Hey, you mean you'll
help me do my homework?

- No, but I'll sharpen
a pencil for you.

- Well, you look ambitious.

- Oh, yeah.

Well, it's kind of
a chilly afternoon.

I thought I might as
well build a fire.

- That's a good idea.

- You know, Harriet,
I've been thinking

a little more about that story
that Ricky told his teacher,

and I can't say that I blame
her for not quite believing him.

It is pretty
fantastic, you know.

- Well, it could have
happened, because I will admit

it did sound a little forced.

- Yeah.

Still, all in all, you
can't come right out

and tell him that you
don't believe him.

- You tried.

- Well, I was in kind of a spot.

I mean, after all, I did want
to impress him with the fact

that it's always better
to tell the truth

and face the consequences.

- No question about it.

Say, before you pull a
Rip Van Winkle on me,

I've got something to tell you.

Do you recall the
last PTA meeting?

- Well, yes, I believe so.

What about it?

- Then you probably
remember sounding off

about not enough of the
parents taking an active part

in the entertainment?

- Well, yes, but all
that's been taken care of.

Don't you remember
Thorny and I agreed

to be co-chairman of the
entertainment committee?

We're going to put on
some pretty riotous stuff.

Well, of course, we're not
going to hog the spotlight.

I mean, we'll give the
other talent a chance, too.

- I think you might
have to give one of them

a chance this afternoon.

- Oh?

- Do you know Mrs. Howard?

- Well, yes, I believe so.

Why?

- Well, she found
a little while ago.

She wants to come over and
discuss the readings she'd like

to give at the next meeting.

- Readings?

- Mhm.

She specializes
in reading poetry.

She has a rather
large repertoire

I'm told, several hundred poems.

- Oh, for goodness
sakes, Harriet.

Couldn't you talk her out of it?

- No, not very successfully.

She said she'd be
over in about an hour.

- Holy smokes.

Whoever heard of reading
poetry at a PTA meeting anyway?

Isn't it bad enough
we have to listen

to the secretary and
treasurer's report?

- Nevertheless, she's
coming over to see you.

You'll be here, won't you?

- Oh, oh, yes.

I'll be here.

I think I'll go over
and get Thorny, though.

As long as he's
co-chairman, I think

he ought to suffer through
this stuff with me.

- Hi, Oz.
Follow me.

I want to show you something.

You won't believe your eyes.
- Wait a minute.

I've got something
to tell you, and you

won't believe your ears.

You recall, don't
you, that you and I

were elected the co-chairmen
of the entertainment committee

over at the PTA?

- Are you kidding?

Who do you think
stuffed the ballot box?

- No, no, no.

Listen for a minute.

Uh, do you recall having met
a Mrs. Howard over there?

She recites poetry.

She's a woman with a
tremendous repertoire.

- Well, you're not
exactly skinny yourself.

- No, no, listen
to me, will you?

It seems she's coming over to
our house in about an hour.

She's going to audition
maybe 150 or so of her poems,

and I thought it'd be nice if
you, as co-chairman, came over

and we sat down in the living
room and enjoyed them together.

- Well, give her my regards.

- No, no, just a second, Thorny.

You and I are in this together.

- Well, isn't there some way
we can get out of it together?

- When you accept the chairman--

What the heck are
you doing with this?

- Well, this is what
I wanted to show you.

Now, this ladder looks
pretty heavy, doesn't it, Oz?

- Yeah.
- Well, just lift it once.

- Well, how about--

It's as light as a feather.

- It's made out of
some new kind of metal.

It reaches right up to the
roof, and you can move it around

like a toy.
- How about that.

Have you tried it out yet?

- Well, not yet,
but I think my boy

Will lost a ball on your roof.

- Oh, now wait a minute, Thorny.

That's an awful high roof.

I mean, if you're figuring
on us exploring around there,

I don't think that'd
be very smart.

I mean, it's pretty
windy today, you know,

and up high like
that, a guy would

have to be pretty childish--

Now, not a child.

I mean, you have to be
pretty brave to climb up

on a ladder on a day like this.

- Well, what are we waiting for?

[laughter]

[music playing]

Holy smokes, Oz.

I never realized your
roof was so high.

Can you make it?

- Yeah.

It is kind of scary up here.

[wind blowing]

Looks a lot higher from up here
than it is from down there.

- I think I'll climb over here
by the chimney and look around.

- Careful.
It's pretty slippery.

I got it.

I have rubber sole shoes on.

[grunts]

Boy, that fire is really
burning down there.

- Yeah.

- It's a beautiful
view from up here.

- Sure is.

- I think I'll do
a little exploring.

- Hey, wait for me.

- Take it easy.

Oh, boy.

Hey, that's a beautiful
view from here.

- Yeah.

- You can see the bank
building over there.

- Sure a good thing I
brought along my binoculars.

- Let me take a look.

Thanks.

You've been looking
through the wrong end.

You know, I think there's
a storm coming up.

Look at the clouds over there.

- Yeah.

This jacket isn't
very warm either.

- Where do you
think the ball is?

- The ball?
What ball?

- Well, why do you
think we came up?

- Oh, you mean Will's ball.

Well, I didn't expect
to find it up here, Oz.

Come to think of it, he threw it
up here some time last winter.

I think it was a snowball.

- Oh.

- Well, I had to try
the ladder out some way.

Hey, we'd better get down from
here before we freeze to death.

- Yeah.

Take it easy.

[wind blowing]

Hey!

Where's the ladder?

- The ladder?

Well, you were the last one up.

- Well, I-- I left
it right over there.

- Uh oh.

- Oh, for goodness sakes!

How are we going to get down?

- Well, we can jump from here.

- Are you kidding?

It's about 30 feet.

You'll break every
bone in your head.

- Don't get so excited.

Actually, I think
it's pretty funny.

Here we are, two grown
men, climb a roof,

the wind blows the ladder down.

[laughs]

- [laughs] Come to think
of it, it is kind of funny.

Here we are up here,
yelling "help" hysterically.

Nobody can hear us.

[laughter]

- Storm coming up,
wind, probably the rain.

- Here we are, yelling
our fool heads off.

- The wind's so loud,
no one could hear us.

[laughter]

[wind blowing]

- Well, what are we waiting for?

- Let it go, Oz.

- Help!

Help!

Help!

- Help!

[applause]

- Well, nobody answers
at the Thornberry's.

- I wonder where Pop could be.

- He's been gone
for over an hour.

Mrs. Howard will
be here any minute.

- Gee, how come she's
coming over here?

- Oh, she's going
to read some poetry.

- Oh.

No wonder Pop and Mr.
Thornberry are hiding.

- Oh, Ricky, don't
be ridiculous.

- Nobody said your
father was hiding, Ricky.

[glass tapping]

What was that?

- What was what?

- I thought I heard
a noise on the roof.

- Probably just the wind.

Hey, it looks like there's
a storm coming up outside.

- Well, if your father
doesn't get home pretty soon,

there'll be a storm coming
up on the inside, too.

I wonder if he and
Thorny are hiding.

- This is a fine mess
you've got us into,

you and your
featherweight ladder

and your featherweight brain!

- Oh, now just a minute, Oz.

Now, let's think
about this situation.

Must be someway we
can get out of it.

- Well, the wind
blew the ladder down.

Maybe it'll blow
it back up again.

- Oh.

Well, thank you.

- Pop wasn't at
the drugstore, huh?

- No.

I called the bowling alley,
and they weren't there either.

[doorbell rings]

- Oh, that's probably
Mrs. Howard now.

Shall I get it?
- No, I'll get it, dear.

- Hello, Mrs. Nelson.

- Hello, Mrs. Howard.

Won't you come in?

- Thank you.

My, but it's nice
and cozy in here.

It's rather nippy today.

- Well, come on
over by the fire.

Oh, these are our two boys.

This is David and this is Ricky.

This is Mrs. Howard, boys.
- How do you do?

- Hello, Mrs. Howard.
- Hello, boys.

Uh, where's Mr. Nelson?

- I wish I knew.

This is terribly embarrassing.

He went over to get Mr.
Thornberry about an hour ago,

and they haven't
gotten back yet.

- Well, does Mr. Thornberry
live very far from here?

- No, just next door.

That's what's so
strange about it.

I'm terribly sorry.

- Well, please don't feel
concerned on my account.

I could always come
back another day.

- Oh, no, I wouldn't
think of it.

I'm sure he'll be home
in a few more minutes.

- I am rather anxious to talk
with him about having one PTA

meeting dedicated to poetry.

I really feel that the
inspired voices of the past

have a great meaning to those
of us who live in the present.

- Oh, I think it's
a wonderful idea.

I've heard quite a bit
about your readings.

- Well, thank you very much.

It is more or less
a hobby of mine.

Uh, would you like
to hear a poem or two

while we are waiting
for Mr. Nelson?

- Oh, well, yes,
that'd be very nice,

if we wouldn't be
imposing upon you.

- Oh, of course not.

I love an audience, even
though it's a captive one.

Now, I suppose you sit
over there in the box seat,

and I'll stand, um, here.

Oh, you poor boys.

Knowing boys as I do,
I'm sure you'd rather

be outside kicking
a baseball around.

- Oh, no, not at all.

- Well, it's very
nice of you to say so.

I have a poem here that I
think you boys might enjoy.

It's called "Columbus"
by Joaquin Miller.

"Behind him lay the gray Azores
behind the gates of Hercules.

Before him, not the
ghost of shores.

Before him, only--"

- Hey, now wait a minute.

I got another
idea, a better one.

If you could take a running jump
and catch the limb of that elm

tree and shimmy
on down, then you

can put the ladder up for me.

Good idea?

- That's brilliant
except for one thing.

Suppose I miss the
limb of the tree!

- Well, the grass is
pretty soft down there.

Besides, I'm sure the ambulance
driver will put the ladder up

for me.

[laughter]

- However, I'll be very
happy to let you try it.

In fact, I'll even
give you a little push.

- No thanks.

Let's think of something else.

- Well, let's think of it in a
hurry because I'm getting cold.

- You should have worn
a jacket like I did.

- Well, I would
have if I had known

I was going to be marooned
on my roof all night long!

Gosh!

I'm getting hungry, too.

- Oh, there must be some
way for us to get down.

- Certainly.

We're intelligent men.

- That's right.

- You ought to be able
to think of something.

- We both have quick minds.

Now, let's concentrate on just
how we can get off this roof.

- How can we get
down off the roof?

That's our problem.

- Right.

- Help!

Help!

[music playing]

[wind blowing]

- Oz!

Oz, speak to me!

- Why should I?

- Oh, don't be a sore head.

- Sore head?

You got me into this mess!

I'm cold and I'm hungry.

And if pneumonia doesn't
kill me, Harriet will.

- Well, at least we
didn't have to listen

to Mrs. Howard read poetry.

- Believe me, I'd much rather
be in the house than up here.

Hey, wait a minute.

I got a wonderful idea.

Here, take off your
jacket and give it to me.

- You just think
of another idea.

I'm going to keep my jacket.

- No, give it to me,
will you, please?

This is a wonderful idea.

I read about it in a story once.
Now, come on.

Do you want to stay
up here all night?

- No.

- Well, then give
me your jacket.

Here, I'll tell you
what I'm going to do.

I'm going to put it right
over the top of the chimney.

- Wait a minute, Oz!

No matter how you
cook it, you're

not going to eat my jacket!

- Who's talking about
eating the jacket.

I put it over the
chimney, the smoke

goes right back into
the living room.

Harriet sees all
the smoke, comes

outside to find out what's the
matter, puts the ladder up,

and we're saved.

- Well, it's worth trying, Oz.

- "And then to the
rhyme of the poet,

the beauty of their voice.

And the night should
be filled with music.

And the cares that
infest the day

shall fold their
tents like the Arabs

and then silently steal away."

- Oh, that was
lovely, Mrs. Howard.

Very well done.

- Well, you were a
wonderful audience.

[coughing]

- The logs in the
fireplace must be damp.

- Yes, it is rather
smoky in here.

I guess I must be running along.

I'm afraid I've out-stayed
my little visit.

- Oh, no, not at all.

I'm terribly sorry that
Mr. Nelson wasn't home,

and I know he's
going to be sorry.

- Please don't think that you
have to apologize, Mrs. Nelson.

I know how men are.

My husband is one.

Bye, boys.

Nice to have met you.
- Bye.

- Bye, Mrs. Nelson.

- Goodbye, Mrs. Howard.

- Boy, this fireplace
is really smoking.

Do you think the
flue is clogged up?

- I'll go out and see.

- Oh, no, wait a minute.

Ricky, here.

Put your coat on.

It's cold out there.

Oh, and if you see your
father outside, tell him

he'd better stay outside.

[wind blowing]

- I haven't seen anyone
come out of the house yet.

- Wait a minute.

I think I see somebody.

Hey, Ricky!

Ricky!

Hey, Ricky!

- Oh, hiya, Pop!

Hiya, Mr. Thornberry!

Hey, what are you
doing up on the roof?

- I'll tell you about it later,
if you get us down off it.

You see that ladder
on the ground?

- Yeah!

- Put it up against the house.

Take it easy, Thorny.

- Boy, Mom's been looking
all over for you, Pop.

- Well, all she had to do
was look up on the roof,

and there I was.

- I'll see you later, Oz.

- Hey, hey, wait a minute!

Thorny, don't go home.

I want you to come
in the house with me

and help explain
this to Harriet.

- Well, there's
nothing to explain.

Just tell her the truth.

- Uh, well, do you
think she'll believe me?

- No, that's why
I'll see you later.

- Hey!

Hey, come back here, you coward!

Doggone it.

Uh, what kind of a
mood is your mother in?

- If I were you, I'd
climb back up on the roof.

- That's what I was afraid of.

Did Mrs. Howard show up?

- Yes, sir.

She read us some poems.

They were pretty good, too.

- Oh.

Well, gee, I'm
sorry I wasn't home.

That is, I was in the house,
not exactly in the house,

but I was up on
top of the house.

Well, I might as well go
in and face the music.

Where is your mother?

- She's in the living room.

- Ozzie.

- Oh!

I'm safe, dear.

You can stop worrying.

Where do you think we were?

Thorny and I were
up on the roof.

- You've been gone
for three hours.

- Yes, I know.

You see, Thorny got this brand
new featherweight ladder,

and his son Will lost a
baseball up on our roof.

So we thought it might
be a good idea if we, uh,

went up on the roof to, uh--

to look-- uh, scout's
honor, Harriet.

I'm telling the truth.

- You mean to tell me that
you two were up on the roof

all this time?

- Yes, that's right.

- You knew Mrs.
Howard was coming.

- Well, I know, but
we couldn't get down.

- Well, you got up.

- Well, that's a
completely different thing.

See, the wind blew
the ladder down.

- Ozzie, where have you been?

- I told you, Harriet.

We've been up on the roof.

- Are you sure you weren't
hiding out in the garage?

- No, no!

Honestly, we were hiding up in--

we weren't hiding any place.

Here.

Ricky can-- Ricky?

Ricky came up to get--

not exactly came up, but he
held the ladder, and we--

see, I thought of an old trick
that I had read about in a book

someplace where I took Thorny's
jacket and I put it over

the top of the chimney, and it
blew the-- didn't the smoke all

come out and--

wait a minute.

Thorny's jacket is
still over the chimney.

I'll go up and get the jacket.

That'll prove-- you stay
right where you are.

Don't move.

David, will you come
up and hold the ladder?

[wind blowing]

- Boy, it sure is windy up here.

- David!

What are you doing up here?

- Well, you told me you
wanted me to help you.

- Well, yes, but I want
you to hold the ladder.

Hold the ladder, son, so it--

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

Help!

- Mr. Nelson?
- Yes?

- I'm a driver for the
Wayne Trucking Company.

Do you have a son named Ricky?

- Oh, yes, we do.

- Well, I found this notebook on
the running board of my truck.

It has his name
and address on it.

- Oh, I'll be darned.

- I would have brought
it over sooner--

I'm sorry-- but I hope he didn't
get in any trouble at school.

- No, no, not at all.

You know, it's a strange thing.

Ricky told us exactly
what happened, but--

well, I'm kind of
ashamed to admit this--

we sort of didn't believe him.

- Well, I certainly hope you
didn't let him know that.

- Oh, no, no, no,
no, we did not.

- It could have a very bad
psychological effect on him,

could even leave
him with a neurosis

or an emotional
disturbance that could stay

with him the rest of his life.

- Oh, yes, yes, I
understand that.

- Children need to feel
that they have their parents

trust and confidence.

That's what gives a boy
a sense of security.

- Yeah, you're absolutely right.

Well, gee, thanks a lot.

This is awfully nice of
you to bring over, Mr. uh--

- Freud, Buster Freud.

[ending theme]

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- Next week, "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet,"

starring the entire
Nelson family--

Ozzie, Harriet,
David, and Ricky--

will be brought to you by
Hotpoint Quality Appliances.

Remember, look to Hotpoint
for the finest first.

The part of Mrs. Howard was
played by Florence Bates.

The truck driver
was Herb Vigran.

This is Verne Smith speaking.

Don't forget that a
completely different episode

of "The Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

is heard every Friday
night on radio.

Consult your newspaper for
time and radio station.