All language subtitles for The.Adventures.Of.Ozzie.And.Harriet.S02E02.AMZN.WEBRip.DDP2.0.x264-ZEW.en

[theme music]

- "The Adventures of Ozzie
and Harriet," starring

the entire Nelson family.

Here's Ozzie.

Here's Harriet.

Here's David.

And here's Ricky.

Here they are, America's
favorite family, the Nelsons.

- Hi.

On a couple of
occasions recently,

we've shown some flashback
scenes from years

ago when the boys
were real small.

And as a result, we
received literally thousands

of letters requesting
us to repeat

one of our early
episodes in its entirety.

So tonight we turn back
the clock about 10 years.

Dave was just
entering high school,

and Ricky's favorite
expression was,

"I don't mess around, boy."

We hope you enjoy
reminiscing with us

as we present "The Party."

- Here's the stuff
from the bakery, Mom.

- Oh, Thank you, fellas.
Did you have any trouble?

- No, ma'am.

- That darned Will Thornberry.

- Quiet, Ricky.

- What the heck?

It makes a guy sore.
- Mom?

- Mmm-hmm?

- Have you seen that old tub we
used to slide down the hill in?

- No, dear.

I don't believe so.

- That darned Will Thornberry.

- What seems to be the trouble?

- Will Thornberry.

- It's just something
personal, Mom.

We're trying to find the tub.

- That gosh-darned
Will Thornberry.

- What on earth is
the matter with Will?

And what do you want
with that old washtub?

- We want it for
something special.

- Yeah, we're going
to fill it with water

and make a booby trap.

- A booby trap?

What for?

- For that gosh-darned
Will Thornberry.

- What seems to be
the trouble, fellas?

- We were just looking for
that old wash tub, Pop.

- They're going
to play some sort

of a trick on Will Thornberry.

- What kind of a trick?

- We're going to
soak him with water.

- Well, I thought Will was
one of your best friends.

- Yeah, so did we.

- Some people sure
do change, boy.

- What's the matter,
you guys mad at Will?

- Yes, ma'am, kind of.

- What do you mean, kind of?

- I'm fightin' mad, boy.

- Hold off a second.

Now, what seems to be the
big difficulty between you

and Will all of a sudden?

- Will's having a
birthday party tomorrow,

and he didn't invite us.

- Oh, so, that's it.

- Yeah, fine friend
he turned out to be.

- Well, I think you've
got this all wrong.

I'm sure Will's birthday
isn't until next Tuesday.

- That cake's going to get
awful stale by Tuesday.

- Cake?

- Yeah, we saw it down
at Humphrey's bakery.

- Yeah, Mr. Humphrey said
it was for the Thornberrys.

- Well, maybe it wasn't
for Will's birthday.

- Well, sure, it was, Mom.

It had candles on it.

We saw it.
- Well, now, look.

Wait a minute.

Suppose Will is having
a birthday party.

Nobody can say he has
to invite you guys.

- Try me, Mom.

I can say it.

- Wait a minute.

Let's get the facts
straight here.

Will didn't tell you he was
having a birthday party,

did he?
- He didn't have to, Pop.

We saw the cake.

- Well, before you
declare war on him,

don't you think you ought
to find out for sure?

There could be a
mistake, you know.

- There sure was a mistake.

And Will made it, boy.

- I think you guys
are acting pretty

childish about this
whole darn thing.

Will isn't obligated to invite
you to his party, you know.

Does he have to ask
you over every time he

celebrates a special occasion?

- No, sir.

- Just every time he celebrates
with ice cream and cake.

- Well, I still
don't see what you're

going to prove by playing
some silly trick on him.

- Well, it's not
exactly a trick on him.

We're just going to tie a big
bucket of water on the tree

out back.

- Yeah, and then we're going
to tie the rope to the post

and "camera-flouge" it.

- And he will only
get wet if he happens

to come on our property.

- Yeah, like if I
happen to call him over.

- Well, you better
forget all about it.

I'm surprised at you guys.

You can't go through the rest of
your lives being mad at people

just because they don't
arrange things to suit you.

After all, if Will didn't
invite you to his party,

he probably has a
very good reason.

- Besides, it could
be a misunderstanding

all the way around, you know.

- Instead of being
mean to him, be

kind to your little neighbor.

Call him over to play with you.

That's the way to do things.

- Oh, don't worry, Pop.

We'll call him over, all right.

- Sure, in a little while.

Oh, Will?

- What are you doing, Dopey?

- Just rehearsing my part.

- Look, that's enough
of that nonsense.

Now let's cut it out.

- Would you just tell us
where the bucket is, Pop?

- Well, the bucket
is out in the garage.

But wait a minute now, fellas.

It's not for getting people wet.

- I think you're wrong, Pop.

Haven't you heard the
old song, [SINGING]

"The Old Southern Bucket"?

[music playing]

- Hey, where you been?

- I've been trying
to find these boards.

- For two hours?

Gol, a lot of help you are.

- OK, OK.

Let's get started.

- Get started-- are you kidding?

Look, I already finished it.

- Oh, boy.

Hey, that's terrific.

How does it work?

- Well, see these strings here?

We're going to attach
them to a clothesline.

And the clothesline
will run across here

and attach to the garage.

And somebody will come
walking by and trip on it.

- Say, Will Thornberry,
for instance?

- See, here you pull strings.

And watch what happens.

- Oh, boy!

- Now all we need is some
water, and we're all set.

- Yeah, that's terrific.

I can hardly wait.

Oh, Will?

- Pipe down, would you, Ricky?

We're not ready for him yet.

- Yeah, but I can hardly wait.

- Well, control yourself and
get some water in the pail

over there by the garage.

[music playing]

- Yeah, there's just
one thing, though.

What are all those
bells doing up there?

- Well, that's just
for good sportsmanship.

Give a guy fair warning.

Now get the water, will you?

- What are you doing
with that pail?

- Pale?

Do I look pale?

- You know what
I'm talking about--

that pail you're holding
behind your back.

- Yeah, what do
you know-- a pail.

I thought I told you boys to
forget about that booby trap

business.

Where's David?
- David?

What David?

- And how many
Davids do you know?

- Well, there's David
Copperfield, David

and Goliath--

- All right.

I'm talking about David
Nelson booby trappers.

- What's going on here?

- Well, I think the boys are
fixing up that booby trap.

- Well, now, Rick,
I told you guys not

to play that trick on Will.

Where's David?

- Well, he took it on the lam--

I mean limb.

- Come on, now.

Let's stop this nonsense.

Where is David?

- I'm up here, Pop.

- Oh, for goodness
sake's, what are you

trying to do, break your neck?
Get down out of there.

- What are you doing
up there anyway, Dave?

- Hello, everybody.
- Oh, hi.

- Oh, hi, Marion.

- Isn't this a nice,
friendly group?

- Well, actually, we
have one missing link.

He'll be swinging
down any minute now.

- Hello, Mrs. Henderson.

- Take it easy now, Dave.

- Well, for goodness sake.

- Hi.

- Hello.

What were you doing up there?

- I'm almost ashamed
to tell you, Marion.

They were rigging up--
[interposing voices]

- Pick up that--
- --some sort of a trick for--

- --and take it
back to the garage.

- --for Will Thornberry.
- --will you?

- Oh, well, boys will be boys.

- Help him, Rick.

- I thought Will was
your best friend, David.

- So did I. That
gosh-darned Will Thornberry.

- It seems that Will Thornberry
is having a birthday party

and he didn't invite the boys.

- They aren't even sure
it is a birthday party.

- We saw the cake, Mom.

- I hope he swallows a candle.

- All right, now.

You pick up the
boards and this pail

and you take them
into the garage.

And then, you go over and
talk to Will about it.

- Gosh-darned darned
Will Thornberry.

- The boys seem to
think they ought

to be invited to everything that
goes on in this neighborhood.

- I don't know why they're
making such a big fuss

about it.

- Well, you know,
boys will be boys.

- Sometimes children
are much more

sensitive about those
things than grown ups are.

- I think you're right.

- Although my little girl, Edith
wasn't invited to the party.

And she hasn't said a word.

- Oh, well, I think the reason
our boys are so upset is

because they're such
good friends of Will's.

- Well, Edith is in
the same class as Will.

And she invited him
to her birthday party.

Very funny that she
wasn't invited to his.

- Oh, well, there's probably
some good reason for it.

- Well, I don't know
what it would be.

Why wouldn't he invite her?

- Well, maybe it's just going
to be a small family party.

- A family party
for a little boy?

Why, I've never heard
of such a thing.

Well, Edith had least 20
children at her birthday party.

- Well, are you
sure Will was there?

- Why, sure.

He ate four dishes of ice
cream and three pieces of cake.

- Well, it could be that
Will forgot to invite Edith.

- Well, that's a fine thing to
come to Edith's birthday party

and not invite her to his.

- Yeah, well, I--

I wouldn't worry
too much about it.

- There must be
some explanation.

- That gosh-darned
Will Thornberry.

[door closes]

- Is that you, boys?

Lunch is just about ready.
- Yeah.

Hi, Mom.
Guess what?

- You saw Will Thornberry.

- Yeah, and he invited
us to his party.

- Well, Isn't that nice?

I thought there
was some mistake.

- It's not until next Tuesday.

- Now, aren't you glad you
didn't declare war on him

until you found out
what the real story was?

- Yeah, I sure am.

- I'm just glad we didn't
set that booby trap.

- Oh, back so soon, boys?
- Oh, hi, Pop.

- Hi, Pop.
- Did you hear the good news?

- What news is that?

- Will Thornberry invited
to his party on Tuesday.

- Oh, what did I tell you?

Will wouldn't give
a birthday party

without inviting
his best friends.

- Yeah, good old
Will Thornberry.

- Good old ice cream and cake.

- Now, aren't you guys
ashamed of the way

you treated poor Will?

Imagine setting up that
booby trap to try and douse

your best friend.

You didn't really
think he'd have a party

and not invite
you guys, did you?

- I don't know about David,
but he sure had me worried.

- Well, I'm glad
everything worked out well.

Probably have a wonderful
time at the party.

Although I do think
that cake is going

to be a little stale
by Tuesday night.

Don't you think so?

- What cake is that, Pop?

- You know, the cake
you saw at the bakery--

the cake for the party.

- Oh, that one-- that's
for the party tonight.

- But you said it was
for the Thornberrys.

- Yes, sir.

- Well, are you sure
Will's party isn't tonight?

- No, the cake isn't
for Will's party.

It's for Mr. Thornberry's party.

- Whose party?

- Mr. Thornberry, the
father of the boy next door.

- But-- but it can't be.

I wasn't invited.

I mean, are you positive
about this, boys?

- Yes, sir.

Mrs. Thornberry told us herself.

- I don't understand.

How-- how could Mr. Thornberry
do this to me, his best friend?

- What's the matter, Pop?

- Well, nothing.

And David?

- Yes, sir?

- Do you happen to know what
you did with that big water tub

that you had to rig?

[applause]

[music playing]

- Hi, Pop.
- Yeah.

Oh, hi.

- How about playing
some football with us?

- Oh, no thanks,
Dave-- not right now.

I'm busy.

- Well, it looks like
you're just sitting.

- Well, I'm busy sitting.

- Well, you said you'd
play some football with us.

- Well, I know.

I'm-- I'm sorry.

But I'm just not
in the mood for it.

- You mad at us?

- No, no, no, of course not.

It's just that the
ingratitude of some people

really amazes me.

I don't understand how
certain so-called friends

can be so thoughtless.

- We forgive you.

You don't have to
play football with us.

- No, I was referring
to somebody else--

a certain neighbor of ours.

- You mean Mr. Thornberry?

- Rather not mention any names.

- Yes, sir.

- Hey, if you play
football with us,

you can kick the ball
through his window.

No, no, no.
That's silly, Ricky.

I couldn't do that.

- Who knows-- you
might get lucky.

- That's not what I mean.

[music playing]

It's funny how some people turn
out to be fair-weather friends.

- What's a fair-weather
friend, Pop?

- Oh, that's a person
who is your friend when

it's nice and sunny.

But if it starts
to rain, look out.

You can borrow somebody
else's umbrella.

- You borrowed Mr. Thornberry's
umbrella last year.

- Yeah, it's still
in the hall closet.

- I was only giving an example
of a fair-weather friend.

And he's a person whose
friendship you just

can't depend on.

- Is Mr. Thornberry a
fair weather-friend?

- Well, unfortunately,
David, he seems to be.

- Maybe he's out of umbrellas.

- This has nothing to do
with umbrellas, Ricky.

Mr. Thornberry's giving a party.

And of all people,
his best friend--

his lifelong pal isn't invited.

- You said parties
weren't very important.

- Yes, I know, Ricky.

- You said not to
get sore about it.

- Yes, I know, David.
- You said--

- Oh, all right.
That's enough.

I said, I said.

Doesn't anybody else ever
say anything around here?

- I do, but nobody
ever listens to me.

- Well, this happens to be an
entirely different situation.

[music playing]

Children are inclined to
overlook their friends.

That's all right.

But there isn't any excuse
for an adult to do it.

Conduct like Mr.
Thornberry's is ridiculous

coming from a full-grown man.

It's childish.

- Why don't you go over and
ask Mr. Thornberry about it?

- David, if Mr.
Thornberry doesn't

want to invite me
to his party, I'm

certainly not going to beg him.

- Oh, you don't want to go
to his party, anyway, Pop.

- You'd just eat a lot
ice cream and cake,

and make yourself sick.

- Well, it isn't
the party, boys.

I don't care about the party.

The thing that hurts
is I'm completely

forgotten after all I've
done for Mr. Thornberry.

- Like what, Pop?

- Oh, I don't keep
a list, David.

But believe me, I've
done plenty of things.

- You borrowed his umbrella.

- Mainly I've been a
good and true friend.

You remember I invited
him to my birthday party.

- Should we hate Mr.
Thornberry from now on?

- No, of course not.

This is none of your worry.

Whatever my feelings are, then
they don't concern you guys.

- Well, I kind of like him,
Pop, if that's all right.

- Yes, certainly, David.

You boys are entitled
to your own opinions.

- Hey, here comes
Mr. Thornberry now.

- Oh, I'll let him in.

- Let me let him in, David.

- Probably come over to borrow
some chairs or some dishes

or something.

[knock on door]
- Hi, Mr. Thornberry.

- Hi, Mr. Thornberry.
- Oh, hi, Dave.

Hi, Rick.
- Pop's right here--

[interposing voices]

- Oh, Pop, mom left some cookies
on the plate here for you.

- Oh, thank you, David.

- Thank you, David.

- Say, these cookies
really look delicious.

- Don't you get anything
to eat at your house?

- Well, sure, Oz.

But no one makes
cookies like Harriet.

[laughs]

Well, don't you any?

Here, have one.

- You sure you can spare this?

- Well, sure, Oz.

There's plenty there
for both of us.

- Help yourself.

Very nice of you to
share my cookies with me.

- Yeah, I think so.

People are always
taking advantage

of my generous nature.

- Uh, by the way, do you have
any plans for this evening?

- No, nothing special.

I'll just stay home and
catch up on my reading.

- Uh, I think I'll
be home myself.

May go to bed early tonight.

And that's if there
isn't too much

noise around the neighborhood.

- I'll try to turn
the pages quietly.

Oz, aren't you having
any more cookies?

- Uh, no thank you.

Already gave me one.

Besides, I don't happen
to be very hungry.

- Gee, that's a shame.

- Go ahead.

You can have some
more if you'd like.

- Well, no, I don't want them
all, but they are very good.

- You know, it seems
a shame to spend

a beautiful night at home.

And I have a feeling tonight's
going to be a very nice night.

- Well, I don't know.

I enjoy it once in a while.

- [laughs] I was just think it's
too bad somebody isn't giving

a party tonight.

I don't know why.

Somehow I just feel like
going to a party tonight.

- Yeah, that would be very nice.

- I love parties.

- Oz...

I thought so.

I read this book before.

You don't have any
comic books around here?

Oh well, it doesn't matter.

I think I'll be going.

- Uh, just a second, Thorny.

You left a few
crumbs on the plate.

- No thanks, Oz.

Wait a minute.

Second thought-- I
think I will take them.

I think I'll dump them
right here in my pocket.

And I'll nibble on
them on the way home.

- Oh, hi, Pop.
- Oh, hi, Dave.

- What are you doing up here?

- Going to make out a
list of all the things

that Mr. Thornberry
has borrowed from us,

and hold them to a
strict accounting.

- Didn't he invite
you to his party?

- He didn't even
mention the party.

Just sat down there stuffing
himself on our cookies

and reading up all
your comic books.

Let's see, things
that Mr. Thornberry

has borrowed from us.

- Garden rake.

- OK, borrowed our garden rake.

- No, Pop.
You borrowed his.

It's in our garage.

- Well, take it
back to him, Dave.

I don't want any of
his things around here.

- Should we take his
umbrella, too, Pop?

- Yes, take back everything
that belongs to him.

- How about his toolbox?

- Everything-- I wish he
wouldn't clutter up our garage

with all his junk.

- Should we take
back his wheelbarrow?

- Yes.

No.

On second thought, we'll
keep the wheelbarrow.

We'll need it to bring
back all the stuff

that he's borrowed from us.

- So far, there
hasn't been anything.

- So many things, I just can't
think of them at the moment.

Let's see.

Yes, he borrowed a pencil.

- A pencil?

- Right.

And make sure he sharpens it.

- I'm going to feel awful
silly bringing a pencil back

in a wheelbarrow.

- Oh, so here's
where you're hiding.

- Oh, hi.

Where have you been?

- Oh, I had a little
shopping to do.

- Pop's making a list
of all the things

that Mr. Thornberry's borrowed.

- Oh, never mind, Rick.

- So far, he owes us a pencil.

- He also has my rain hat.

I remember he borrowed
it one day when

he couldn't find his umbrella.

- What's this all about?

- No, I might as well tell you.

Do you realize that
big bum Thornberry

is giving a party tonight
and hasn't even invited us?

- Well, I guess I
better tell you.

Catherine Thornberry
wanted to keep it a secret.

But I can't stand by and see
Rimsky and Korsakoff split up.

Thorny doesn't know
anything about the party.

- What do you mean?

He's giving the party.

- No, dear.

Catherine's giving the
party, and we're all invited.

It's a surprise
anniversary party.

- A what?

- A surprise anniversary party.

You know Thorny's memory.

So far, every
wedding anniversary

has been a surprise to him.

So this year, Catherine's
giving him a surprise party.

- Oh, Harriet,
this is awful when

I think of the terrible
things I said to the poor guy.

Gosh, how am I going
to make this up to him?

- Let him keep the pencil.

- Oh, and by the way,
Catherine had the bakery

deliver the cake here so
that Thorny won't see it.

- Oh, cake?

Oh, where is it?

- In the kitchen, but
don't you touch it.

- Oh, Harriet, what do you what
do you think I am, a child?

Come on, folks.

Let's go down and
take a look at it.

- Oh, boy!

Will you look at that?

- Oh, my, isn't that a beauty?

- Mmm.

- Ricky, Ricky, don't do that.

- I'm just tasting the candles.

- Well, now that
you mention it, it

is kind of a strange
thing for them

to put the candles on so soon.

They usually put them
on at the last minute.

Yeah, we better take
the candles out.

Save it for later.

Mmm.

- Mmm.

- Mmm.

- Mmm.

Certainly is delicious cake.

It's very rare that a
cake will look so good

and-- and also taste so good.

You know, in the old days when
they baked a cake for the king,

they'd always have
an official taster.

And he had to take a slice
of the cake and taste it

just to make sure that
it-- it wasn't poisoned.

- Yeah, that's a
good excuse, Pop.

- Who needs excuses?

I'll get the knife.
- No, no, no.

Wait a minute, Rick.

We're not going to slice
up this beautiful cake.

However, I do think it would
be perfectly all right if we

each took just one little
dab off the edge of one

of those rosebuds.

Mmm.

Mmm.

- Hey, Pop, I thought
you said just one dab.

- Well, I'm just straightening
out the edge here.

Anything I can't stand
is an untidy cake.

Wait a minute.

There's one thing that
worries me, though.

You know, Thorny comes in
the kitchen here so often.

It would be awful if he
came in and discovered this.

- How about putting
it in the garage?

- No, that'd be
sort of unsanitary.

Yeah, the station
wagon's out there.

I think I'll put it in the
back of the station wagon.

Open the door, Dave.

Rick, wipe your face
off a little, will you?

Don't want your mother to see
you with cake on your face.

- Oh!

- [crosstalk]

- I told you guys not
to set that booby trap.

- I didn't set it, Pop.

- Neither did I.

- Well, then, who did?

- I did.

Oz, I saw that bakery
truck deliver that cake

to your house.

What's the big idea of having
a party and not inviting me?

- Oh, for goodness sakes!

[applause]

- That gosh-darned Thornberry.

[applause]

- Well, we hope you enjoyed
reminiscing with us.

And now just to bring
things up to date,

here's Rick singing
one of his latest hits,

"A Wonder Like You."

[MUSIC - RICKY NELSON, "A WONDER
LIKE YOU"]

- [SINGING] I've seen the snow
white mountains of Alaska.

I've sailed along
the rivers of Peru.

I've seen the world in
all its seven wonders.

But I've never seen
a wonder like you.

I've stood upon the
pyramids of Egypt,

far away across the ocean blue.

I've seen the island
beauties of Hawaii.

But I've never seen
a beauty like you.

I've gazed at the
white cliffs of Dover.

There is not a
place I didn't see.

Now that my travels
are over, I wish

you had been there with me.

I've seen the
pretty dancing girls

of Siam, the happy
Polynesian people, too.

But they're not as happy
as I am because they

haven't got a wonder like you.

I've gazed at the
white cliffs of Dover.

There's not a
place I didn't see.

Now that my travels
are over, I wish

you had been there with me.

I've seen the
pretty dancing girls

of Siam, the happy
Polynesian people, too.

But they're not as happy
as I am because they

haven't got a wonder like you.

They haven't got
a wonder like you.

No, they haven't got
a wonder like you.

No, they haven't got
a wonder like you.

[applause]

[music playing]

- Tonight's "Adventures
of Ozzie and Harriet"

was brought to
you by Peter Paul.

- Need any help?

- Help yourself.

That's Peter Paul Almond Joy.

And like the man says, "It's
indescribably delicious."