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1
00:00:01,502 --> 00:00:03,045
All: J” love j”
2
00:00:03,129 --> 00:00:04,755
j” connection j”
3
00:00:04,839 --> 00:00:06,841
j” experience j”
4
00:00:06,924 --> 00:00:08,634
yeah, morty.
5
00:00:08,718 --> 00:00:10,970
J” come together j”
6
00:00:11,053 --> 00:00:14,098
j” with love, connection,
and experience j”
7
00:00:14,182 --> 00:00:16,350
- it's my favorite song.
- Oh, yeah.
8
00:00:16,434 --> 00:00:19,645
Oh, yeah, distress beacon!
9
00:00:19,729 --> 00:00:20,897
Yeah, baby!
10
00:00:20,980 --> 00:00:22,356
You're excited about that?
11
00:00:22,440 --> 00:00:23,880
The first rule
of space travel, kids,
12
00:00:23,941 --> 00:00:25,693
is always check out
distress beacons.
13
00:00:25,776 --> 00:00:27,778
9 out of 10 times,
it's a ship full of dead aliens
14
00:00:27,862 --> 00:00:29,614
and a bunch of free shit!
15
00:00:29,697 --> 00:00:31,817
- Both: Whoa!
- 1 out of 10 times, it's a deadly trap,
16
00:00:31,866 --> 00:00:33,951
but I'm ready
to roll those dice.
17
00:00:34,035 --> 00:00:37,038
J”j”
18
00:00:41,584 --> 00:00:43,711
seems like something
terrible happened here.
19
00:00:43,794 --> 00:00:45,046
Yep. Cha—ching.
20
00:00:45,129 --> 00:00:47,381
Oh, yeah, if you find
a room full of eggs,
21
00:00:47,465 --> 00:00:48,674
dontshy away from it.
22
00:00:48,758 --> 00:00:50,134
Give one of them a shake.
23
00:00:50,218 --> 00:00:51,987
Those facehuggers
are worth more than this ship.
24
00:00:52,011 --> 00:00:53,095
- Uh, what's that?
25
00:00:53,179 --> 00:00:54,198
This'ii make the cops
write it up
26
00:00:54,222 --> 00:00:55,514
as a looting by the korblocks.
27
00:00:55,598 --> 00:00:56,598
That's horrible.
28
00:00:56,641 --> 00:00:58,809
I hear you, man.
Cops are racist.
29
00:00:58,893 --> 00:01:01,771
Oh, hey. You're alive.
Thank god.
30
00:01:01,854 --> 00:01:03,397
Can you help us?
31
00:01:03,481 --> 00:01:06,108
Our planet was taken over
by some kind of... entity.
32
00:01:06,192 --> 00:01:07,944
It absorbed
the minds of our people.
33
00:01:08,027 --> 00:01:09,779
We didn't notice
until it was too late.
34
00:01:09,862 --> 00:01:10,988
The people it takes over,
35
00:01:11,072 --> 00:01:12,490
they... they look
like your friends,
36
00:01:12,573 --> 00:01:13,741
your family, your leaders,
37
00:01:13,824 --> 00:01:16,702
but they're not
themselves anymore.
38
00:01:16,786 --> 00:01:19,080
They're part of... it.
39
00:01:19,163 --> 00:01:21,415
Then how do you know it didn't
get on the ship with you?
40
00:01:21,499 --> 00:01:23,819
Those two dingdongs seem pretty
calm about the whole thing.
41
00:01:25,503 --> 00:01:27,046
Hey, no! No, wait! Stop!
42
00:01:28,881 --> 00:01:29,881
Called it.
43
00:01:32,176 --> 00:01:33,594
All: Hello, Rick.
44
00:01:33,678 --> 00:01:34,887
Long time no see.
45
00:01:34,971 --> 00:01:35,846
Unity?
46
00:01:35,930 --> 00:01:36,931
- Rick?
- Grandpa?
47
00:01:37,014 --> 00:01:38,432
Oh, boy. Uh...
48
00:01:38,516 --> 00:01:39,910
These are my grandkids,
summer and morty.
49
00:01:39,934 --> 00:01:42,144
Summer, morty,
this is, uh, unity.
50
00:01:42,228 --> 00:01:45,273
We sort of used to, uh... date.
51
00:01:45,356 --> 00:01:48,359
J”j”
52
00:01:50,736 --> 00:01:51,737
j”j”
53
00:02:08,421 --> 00:02:10,101
Quite an operation
you got going here, une.
54
00:02:10,172 --> 00:02:11,632
You're a whole planet now, huh?
55
00:02:11,716 --> 00:02:12,925
After we broke up,
56
00:02:13,009 --> 00:02:14,844
I spent some time
wandering through space.
57
00:02:14,927 --> 00:02:17,221
- Then I found this world...
- Where I was better able
58
00:02:17,305 --> 00:02:19,890
to focus on my passion
for unification.
59
00:02:19,974 --> 00:02:21,475
You mean
stealing people's bodies?
60
00:02:21,559 --> 00:02:22,893
Summer, rude.
61
00:02:22,977 --> 00:02:25,038
Why don't you two kids
go run off and play with unity
62
00:02:25,062 --> 00:02:26,814
while unity and I
do some catching up.
63
00:02:26,897 --> 00:02:28,399
Ugh. No, wait, Rick,
64
00:02:28,482 --> 00:02:30,794
aren't these people gonna barf
into our mouths and absorb us?
65
00:02:30,818 --> 00:02:32,153
You're guests here on my planet.
66
00:02:32,236 --> 00:02:33,654
You're free to be yourselves.
67
00:02:33,738 --> 00:02:35,865
I've never been any good
at disappointing Rick.
68
00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:37,158
Well, now /'/77 going to barf.
69
00:02:37,241 --> 00:02:38,909
Come on, morty.
70
00:02:43,289 --> 00:02:44,933
Jerry, what are you —-
what are you doing in here?
71
00:02:44,957 --> 00:02:47,752
I'm trying to find
our weed whacker,
72
00:02:47,835 --> 00:02:50,379
'cause our weeds are wack, yo.
73
00:02:50,463 --> 00:02:52,316
But you can't go in the garage
when Rick's not here.
74
00:02:52,340 --> 00:02:53,674
I "can't"?
75
00:02:53,758 --> 00:02:55,402
- Well, he doesn't like it.
- What's he gonna do?
76
00:02:55,426 --> 00:02:57,970
Crash rent-free
at his ofherfamily's house?
77
00:02:58,054 --> 00:02:59,114
Beth: What is that
supposed to mean?
78
00:02:59,138 --> 00:03:00,890
Your dad gets to walk
all over us
79
00:03:00,973 --> 00:03:03,100
because of
your abandonment issues.
80
00:03:03,184 --> 00:03:04,852
He's playing you, shorty.
81
00:03:04,935 --> 00:03:06,812
Oh, stop affecting
that stupid hip-hop dialect.
82
00:03:06,896 --> 00:03:09,857
Stop shifting the cross hairs
to my ironic urban patois
83
00:03:09,940 --> 00:03:11,817
just because your relationship
with your father
84
00:03:11,901 --> 00:03:13,694
isto'up from the flo' up.
85
00:03:15,613 --> 00:03:17,156
What the hell was that?
86
00:03:17,239 --> 00:03:18,479
I don't know. Let's just leave.
87
00:03:21,202 --> 00:03:22,370
That is a hatch.
88
00:03:22,453 --> 00:03:24,705
Your father put a hatch
in my garage.
89
00:03:24,789 --> 00:03:26,123
You don't know it was him.
90
00:03:26,207 --> 00:03:27,958
Anyway, we're not
supposed to be in here.
91
00:03:28,042 --> 00:03:31,212
Obviously, neither is whatever's
gurgling down there.
92
00:03:35,091 --> 00:03:37,385
"World peace achieved." Nice.
93
00:03:37,468 --> 00:03:39,136
Little weird to publish
a paper about it
94
00:03:39,220 --> 00:03:40,096
for yourself, but hey.
95
00:03:40,179 --> 00:03:41,347
So, what's next?
96
00:03:41,430 --> 00:03:43,349
After I become
a type-one civilization,
97
00:03:43,432 --> 00:03:47,061
this world will be invited
into the galactic federation.
98
00:03:47,144 --> 00:03:48,145
Oh, goody.
99
00:03:48,229 --> 00:03:49,247
From there, I'll have access to
100
00:03:49,271 --> 00:03:51,065
countless planets and species.
101
00:03:51,148 --> 00:03:52,983
One by one, I will unify them,
102
00:03:53,067 --> 00:03:54,276
I will become the universe,
103
00:03:54,360 --> 00:03:56,278
and I will be what
the single-minded
104
00:03:56,362 --> 00:03:57,362
once called a god.
105
00:03:57,405 --> 00:03:58,823
I like that.
106
00:03:58,906 --> 00:04:00,408
Oh, that's pretty sexy.
107
00:04:00,491 --> 00:04:02,427
Hey, listen, where can we get
a drink around here?
108
00:04:02,451 --> 00:04:04,745
Recreational substances
were phased out here.
109
00:04:04,829 --> 00:04:06,914
There's no need
for escape from the self
110
00:04:06,997 --> 00:04:08,165
when your world is one.
111
00:04:08,249 --> 00:04:09,792
Unity, unity,
who am I talking to?
112
00:04:09,875 --> 00:04:11,961
I watched you assimilate
a whole police station
113
00:04:12,044 --> 00:04:14,130
just to get your hands on
the evidence locker.
114
00:04:14,213 --> 00:04:16,715
Rick, when we met,
I was a young hive mind
115
00:04:16,799 --> 00:04:19,593
with the population
of a small town.
116
00:04:19,677 --> 00:04:20,821
People change...
117
00:04:20,845 --> 00:04:22,045
Especially when I change them.
118
00:04:22,096 --> 00:04:23,347
I'm sorry to disappoint you,
119
00:04:23,431 --> 00:04:25,015
but I've grown.
120
00:04:25,099 --> 00:04:27,017
Hey, listen, I've grown, too.
121
00:04:27,101 --> 00:04:28,769
I have!
122
00:04:28,853 --> 00:04:30,539
See, I've -— I've reconnected
with my family, right?
123
00:04:30,563 --> 00:04:32,064
Hm. Why's that, I wonder?
124
00:04:32,148 --> 00:04:33,858
Maybe it's part of getting old.
125
00:04:33,941 --> 00:04:37,653
Maybe I just missed
being with a collective.
126
00:04:39,155 --> 00:04:40,739
All: Yes, Rick. Yes.
127
00:04:40,823 --> 00:04:42,283
- Oh, yeah.
- Yes. Yes.
128
00:04:42,366 --> 00:04:44,326
Wait, wait. Stop. Hold it.
129
00:04:44,410 --> 00:04:46,036
Not like this.
130
00:04:46,120 --> 00:04:47,037
We need a hang glider
131
00:04:47,121 --> 00:04:48,432
and a crotchless
uncle Sam costume,
132
00:04:48,456 --> 00:04:50,708
and I want the entire field
of your largest stadium
133
00:04:50,791 --> 00:04:52,418
covered end to end
with naked redheads,
134
00:04:52,501 --> 00:04:53,961
and I want the stands packed
135
00:04:54,044 --> 00:04:56,422
with every man that remotely
resembles my father.
136
00:05:02,553 --> 00:05:04,346
Man, look at them go.
So coordinated.
137
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:06,849
I gulps I what's your problem?
138
00:05:06,932 --> 00:05:08,532
They're making you into
a mount rushmore.
139
00:05:08,601 --> 00:05:09,810
They made burgers!
140
00:05:09,894 --> 00:05:11,061
Morty, open your eyes.
141
00:05:11,145 --> 00:05:12,480
There is no "they."
142
00:05:12,563 --> 00:05:14,940
These poor people's bodies
are being used.
143
00:05:15,024 --> 00:05:16,144
They're a planet of puppets.
144
00:05:16,192 --> 00:05:17,818
- I can hear you.
- Ugh.
145
00:05:17,902 --> 00:05:20,362
Well, it seems like
everybody here's cool with it.
146
00:05:20,446 --> 00:05:21,822
Except for all those redheads.
147
00:05:21,906 --> 00:05:23,199
They seem like
they're in a hurry
148
00:05:23,282 --> 00:05:24,366
to be somewhere else.
149
00:05:24,450 --> 00:05:26,535
Balloon, summer? Balloon, morty?
150
00:05:26,619 --> 00:05:28,537
No, we don't want
your dumb balloons, okay?
151
00:05:28,621 --> 00:05:30,247
We're bored.
Take us back to Rick.
152
00:05:30,331 --> 00:05:32,082
Now's not a good time.
153
00:05:33,042 --> 00:05:34,960
Oh, yeah!
154
00:05:35,044 --> 00:05:37,880
I want yooooooou!
155
00:05:37,963 --> 00:05:39,131
All: Go, son, go!
156
00:05:39,215 --> 00:05:42,384
Go, son, go! Go, son, go!
157
00:05:42,468 --> 00:05:46,013
Oh, real nice. Rea/nice.
158
00:05:46,096 --> 00:05:47,973
How does a man do this
without me noticing?
159
00:05:48,057 --> 00:05:49,099
Oh, you know my dad
160
00:05:49,183 --> 00:05:50,410
once he puts his mind
to something.
161
00:05:50,434 --> 00:05:52,019
You're spinning this
to his credit?
162
00:05:54,647 --> 00:05:55,481
I'm going down there.
163
00:05:55,564 --> 00:05:57,191
- Jerry...
- Beth, this is my house,
164
00:05:57,274 --> 00:05:59,401
which makes this my garage,
my secret hatch,
165
00:05:59,485 --> 00:06:02,988
my hidden subterranean lair,
and my faceless gargler.
166
00:06:03,072 --> 00:06:04,740
Now, are you gonna keep
hating this playa
167
00:06:04,823 --> 00:06:06,492
or are you gonna Jack my steez?
168
00:06:06,575 --> 00:06:08,494
Okay, you're just
making stuff up now.
169
00:06:08,577 --> 00:06:10,454
Ugh. Oh, my god.
170
00:06:10,538 --> 00:06:11,830
Oh, my god.
171
00:06:11,914 --> 00:06:13,541
Ugh!
172
00:06:13,624 --> 00:06:16,210
Oh, Rick. That was so bad.
173
00:06:16,293 --> 00:06:17,336
What's this "was" stuff?
174
00:06:17,419 --> 00:06:18,712
I just need to hydrate,
175
00:06:18,796 --> 00:06:21,090
then we're doing that again.
176
00:06:21,173 --> 00:06:22,933
- Oh, damn.
- Listen, if this is an invasion,
177
00:06:22,967 --> 00:06:24,218
I got to sit this one out,
178
00:06:24,301 --> 00:06:26,181
but I'll be back to have sex
with the survivors.
179
00:06:26,262 --> 00:06:27,972
It's a neighboring
hive-mind species,
180
00:06:28,055 --> 00:06:29,098
beta seven.
181
00:06:29,181 --> 00:06:30,975
Our planets maintain
a practical alliance
182
00:06:31,058 --> 00:06:32,685
for exchange of vital resources,
183
00:06:32,768 --> 00:06:34,436
so be nice.
184
00:06:34,520 --> 00:06:35,521
Unity,
185
00:06:37,064 --> 00:06:38,691
is it a bad time?
186
00:06:38,774 --> 00:06:42,736
Are all present life forms
assimilated?
187
00:06:42,820 --> 00:06:45,573
Beta seven,
this is my single-minded friend
188
00:06:45,656 --> 00:06:46,740
from earth, Rick.
189
00:06:46,824 --> 00:06:48,826
Rick Sanchez.
190
00:06:49,451 --> 00:06:50,578
Unity has spoken of you.
191
00:06:50,661 --> 00:06:52,371
All bad, I hope. Ha ha!
192
00:06:52,454 --> 00:06:53,664
All: Bleeeeeeeeeh!
193
00:06:53,747 --> 00:06:55,040
Oh, Jesus Christ.
194
00:06:55,124 --> 00:06:57,710
Beta seven, if my allies
are a problem for you,
195
00:06:57,793 --> 00:06:59,670
perhaps our alliance is,
as well.
196
00:06:59,753 --> 00:07:01,380
Our alliance is beneficial.
197
00:07:01,463 --> 00:07:03,424
When beta seven
expresses concern,
198
00:07:03,507 --> 00:07:05,050
it... it's only be—because —-
199
00:07:05,134 --> 00:07:07,678
Rick: Oh, snap!
Powdered neutronium?
200
00:07:07,761 --> 00:07:08,762
Amphetetron?
201
00:07:09,138 --> 00:07:10,598
You know I can make
with this stuff?
202
00:07:10,681 --> 00:07:12,850
Oh, Rick, I... I shouldn't.
203
00:07:12,933 --> 00:07:14,935
Come on. It's not every day
that I'm town.
204
00:07:15,019 --> 00:07:16,687
It's...
It's for old time's sake.
205
00:07:16,770 --> 00:07:19,064
Uh... okay, what the hell.
206
00:07:19,148 --> 00:07:21,942
We can purify the resin
and make fractal dust.
207
00:07:22,026 --> 00:07:24,528
Oh, I was thinking
velocitinis, but...
208
00:07:24,612 --> 00:07:27,531
Aw, old man Rick can't party
with a whole planet?
209
00:07:29,450 --> 00:07:32,661
I can do whatever
you do and more, baby.
210
00:07:34,580 --> 00:07:36,707
You know, I think
beta seven over there
211
00:07:36,790 --> 00:07:39,001
is hoping your alliance
can be more than practical.
212
00:07:39,084 --> 00:07:40,628
Stop.
213
00:07:44,673 --> 00:07:48,594
Well, this explains
the $6,000 electric bill.
214
00:07:50,095 --> 00:07:51,096
Whoa!
215
00:07:53,682 --> 00:07:56,810
Well, nice. Rea/nice.
216
00:07:56,894 --> 00:07:58,604
Alien prisoners under the house.
217
00:07:58,687 --> 00:08:00,064
Real nice.
218
00:08:00,147 --> 00:08:02,149
N ice. Reeeeeeeeeeeeea/...
219
00:08:02,941 --> 00:08:04,401
God damn it, stop.
220
00:08:04,485 --> 00:08:07,446
Wake up, people!
You have to fight it!
221
00:08:07,529 --> 00:08:09,948
You're under the spell
of an evil monster!
222
00:08:10,032 --> 00:08:12,785
- I can hear you.
- Yeah, so you keep saying.
223
00:08:14,203 --> 00:08:15,913
- Summer!
- Wake up!
224
00:08:15,996 --> 00:08:18,123
You have to have some
individuality left in there!
225
00:08:18,207 --> 00:08:19,500
Why do you hate me, summer?
226
00:08:19,583 --> 00:08:21,085
I'm not talking to you.
227
00:08:21,168 --> 00:08:23,587
I'm talking to...
Steven Phillips.
228
00:08:23,671 --> 00:08:26,173
Steven, set yourself free.
229
00:08:26,256 --> 00:08:28,550
Summer, before I took
over this planet,
230
00:08:28,634 --> 00:08:31,136
this man was
a registered sex offender.
231
00:08:31,220 --> 00:08:33,889
Yeah? Well, so what?
At least he was himself.
232
00:08:33,972 --> 00:08:36,934
This woman was a drug addict
on the verge of suicide.
233
00:08:37,017 --> 00:08:38,852
Now she's a marine biologist.
234
00:08:38,936 --> 00:08:40,914
Listen, unity, I don't think
my sister's trying to say
235
00:08:40,938 --> 00:08:42,290
that life would be perfect
without you.
236
00:08:42,314 --> 00:08:44,000
I think she's just saying
that life would be,
237
00:08:44,024 --> 00:08:45,275
you know, life.
238
00:08:45,359 --> 00:08:48,112
I have transformed life
here into a paradise.
239
00:08:48,195 --> 00:08:50,155
Prostitutes are now scientists.
240
00:08:50,239 --> 00:08:52,408
The homeless
are now "phisosophers."
241
00:08:52,491 --> 00:08:54,159
Oh. Oh. "Ph-phisosophers"? Nice.
242
00:08:54,243 --> 00:08:56,328
- Philopol... phiphophopher...
- Oh, my god.
243
00:08:56,412 --> 00:08:58,348
Where did you learn to talk,
you grandpa-stealing slut?
244
00:08:58,372 --> 00:09:00,374
I'm feeling...
245
00:09:02,376 --> 00:09:03,377
Ugh.
246
00:09:04,086 --> 00:09:05,671
Oh, man, let me help
all of you guys up.
247
00:09:05,754 --> 00:09:07,715
All: I'm fine.
248
00:09:11,635 --> 00:09:14,012
Do you know
what I love about you, Rick?
249
00:09:14,096 --> 00:09:15,973
You're the only single mind
I've met
250
00:09:16,056 --> 00:09:17,599
that really sees
the big picture.
251
00:09:17,683 --> 00:09:19,017
You got that right.
252
00:09:19,101 --> 00:09:20,602
But, baby, listen -...
253
00:09:20,686 --> 00:09:23,105
Y—you're talking about taking
over planets and galaxies.
254
00:09:23,188 --> 00:09:24,565
You got to —-
got to just remember
255
00:09:24,648 --> 00:09:26,066
to let go sometimes, you know?
256
00:09:26,150 --> 00:09:27,192
I can let go. Hey, look.
257
00:09:27,276 --> 00:09:28,636
You see that town
across the river?
258
00:09:28,694 --> 00:09:30,154
Watch this.
259
00:09:30,571 --> 00:09:32,489
- Whoa!
- Ha ha! Whoo!
260
00:09:32,573 --> 00:09:34,074
Whoa! That's not what I meant!
261
00:09:34,158 --> 00:09:36,535
It's okay. It's okay.
262
00:09:36,618 --> 00:09:39,496
I evacuated.
I evacuated the town. Look.
263
00:09:39,580 --> 00:09:42,332
All:
Hey! We're right here. We're fine.
264
00:09:46,503 --> 00:09:50,048
Oh, that was awesome.
265
00:09:50,132 --> 00:09:52,259
My... my grandkids
weren't in that town, right?
266
00:09:52,342 --> 00:09:54,219
A-Are my grandkids alive?
267
00:09:54,303 --> 00:09:56,346
M-My drink is empty.
268
00:10:01,518 --> 00:10:04,521
J”j”
269
00:10:12,863 --> 00:10:16,116
- Unity, what's happening?
- Who's unity?
270
00:10:16,200 --> 00:10:18,744
You kids have nice feet.
Mind if I take a picture?
271
00:10:18,827 --> 00:10:21,371
Gross. No.
272
00:10:21,455 --> 00:10:23,665
Morty: I think you're getting
what you wanted, summer.
273
00:10:23,749 --> 00:10:25,709
Something's happening to unity.
274
00:10:25,793 --> 00:10:28,504
Do all of you remember
who you are?
275
00:10:28,587 --> 00:10:31,048
Yeah, uh, my name is Ron Benson.
276
00:10:31,131 --> 00:10:34,009
I'm an electrical engineer,
father of two,
277
00:10:34,092 --> 00:10:37,679
and, as you can see from my
flat, concentric nipple rings,
278
00:10:37,763 --> 00:10:40,224
I'm a member of
this planet's top race!
279
00:10:40,307 --> 00:10:41,975
Okay, that's good.
280
00:10:42,059 --> 00:10:44,436
Uh, don't focus too much
on the last part, but —-
281
00:10:44,520 --> 00:10:47,397
I'm Daryl Jefferson.
I'm a landscaper.
282
00:10:47,481 --> 00:10:49,024
And I'll be damned if
283
00:10:49,107 --> 00:10:51,401
that ripple—nipple bitch's
race is superior!
284
00:10:51,485 --> 00:10:53,403
The cone-nipple people
will rule this world!
285
00:10:53,487 --> 00:10:55,864
You shut your mouth,
you dirty knife—nipple bastards.
286
00:10:55,948 --> 00:10:56,990
What'd you say to me,
287
00:10:57,074 --> 00:10:59,201
you target-chest piece of shit.
288
00:10:59,284 --> 00:11:01,036
Race war!
289
00:11:07,960 --> 00:11:08,961
Ugh!
290
00:11:11,505 --> 00:11:12,714
Why are you fighting?!
291
00:11:12,798 --> 00:11:15,008
Can't you see
you're all the same?
292
00:11:15,092 --> 00:11:16,510
Oh, summer.
293
00:11:16,593 --> 00:11:18,011
First race war, huh?
294
00:11:24,226 --> 00:11:26,228
Way to go, summer.
You started a race war.
295
00:11:26,311 --> 00:11:28,897
I didn't start it!
They're the racists.
296
00:11:28,981 --> 00:11:30,232
I... I merely empowered them
297
00:11:30,315 --> 00:11:32,192
to follow their apparently
misguided dreams.
298
00:11:32,276 --> 00:11:33,777
Okay, thanks for clarifying.
299
00:11:33,861 --> 00:11:35,737
I'll have a super-accurate
headstone now.
300
00:11:35,821 --> 00:11:37,090
Hey, wait —-
what race are you guys?
301
00:11:37,114 --> 00:11:38,198
We're neither. S-See?
302
00:11:38,282 --> 00:11:39,908
Yeah, take my word for it.
303
00:11:39,992 --> 00:11:41,702
We just have regular nipples.
304
00:11:41,785 --> 00:11:44,121
Hey, these two freaks
have no race!
305
00:11:44,204 --> 00:11:45,205
J”j”
306
00:11:50,294 --> 00:11:51,837
Oh, there's no place like home.
307
00:11:51,920 --> 00:11:53,523
There's no place like home.
Remember, summer?
308
00:11:53,547 --> 00:11:55,067
From Dorothy
and the tiny people movie?
309
00:11:55,132 --> 00:11:56,258
Yes, yes.
310
00:11:56,341 --> 00:11:58,218
- All the tiny people.
- Dorothy, take us away.
311
00:11:58,302 --> 00:12:01,722
J”j”
312
00:12:05,601 --> 00:12:07,603
hello, summer. Hello, morty.
313
00:12:07,686 --> 00:12:10,188
- It's okay. You're safe now.
- Unity?
314
00:12:10,272 --> 00:12:13,400
- Yes.
- Oh, unity, I am so sorry.
315
00:12:13,483 --> 00:12:16,194
I didn't know freedom meant
people doing stuff that sucks.
316
00:12:16,278 --> 00:12:17,696
I was thinking more of
317
00:12:17,779 --> 00:12:19,615
a choose your own
cellphone-carrier thing.
318
00:12:19,698 --> 00:12:21,074
Oh, summer,
you did nothing wrong.
319
00:12:21,158 --> 00:12:22,784
I'm having fun
with your grandpa.
320
00:12:22,868 --> 00:12:24,077
Lost a little control.
321
00:12:24,161 --> 00:12:26,330
Probably shouldn't be
piloting a hovercopter,
322
00:12:26,413 --> 00:12:29,166
nor should I be running
200,000 pediatric hospitals
323
00:12:29,249 --> 00:12:30,667
and 12 million deep fryers,
324
00:12:30,751 --> 00:12:32,071
but hey,
it's not like this planet
325
00:12:32,127 --> 00:12:33,545
can take its business elsewhere.
326
00:12:33,629 --> 00:12:35,505
Um, should we maybe
stop somewhere
327
00:12:35,589 --> 00:12:36,965
and get you a coffee?
328
00:12:37,049 --> 00:12:39,009
Maybe splash a little water
on your face, or...
329
00:12:39,092 --> 00:12:40,928
No, no, if I wanted to be sober,
330
00:12:41,011 --> 00:12:42,721
I wouldn't have gotten drunk.
331
00:12:42,804 --> 00:12:43,805
Whoo—hoo—hoo!
332
00:12:47,893 --> 00:12:49,519
Oh, man. I cannot wait...
333
00:12:49,603 --> 00:12:52,648
I cannot wait to hear Rick
explain his way around this.
334
00:12:52,731 --> 00:12:53,982
He is gone.
335
00:12:54,066 --> 00:12:55,275
Jerry, stop, please, okay?
336
00:12:55,359 --> 00:12:56,920
We weren't even
supposed to be down here.
337
00:12:56,944 --> 00:12:58,212
If we confront him about this —-
338
00:12:58,236 --> 00:12:59,780
oh, my god! I love this.
339
00:12:59,863 --> 00:13:02,282
I love that this is
how far you will go for him.
340
00:13:02,366 --> 00:13:04,660
You want to go upstairs
and cut carrots
341
00:13:04,743 --> 00:13:06,286
and watch a lifetime original
342
00:13:06,370 --> 00:13:08,872
above a fucking alien dungeon!
343
00:13:08,956 --> 00:13:11,792
Your relationship with
your father is psychotic.
344
00:13:11,875 --> 00:13:13,293
Oh, listen to you
relish the idea
345
00:13:13,377 --> 00:13:15,170
that my genius father
is a bad person.
346
00:13:15,253 --> 00:13:16,880
Step out of your ego
for a second
347
00:13:16,964 --> 00:13:18,840
and look at this thing...
It's a monster.
348
00:13:18,924 --> 00:13:20,175
He might have it chained up
349
00:13:20,258 --> 00:13:21,760
so that it doesn't
eat the planet!
350
00:13:21,843 --> 00:13:24,012
Right, because your father's
such an altruist?
351
00:13:24,096 --> 00:13:27,683
I once saw him briefly
forget the word for "humans."
352
00:13:27,766 --> 00:13:29,893
He's probably harvesting
this creature's organs.
353
00:13:29,977 --> 00:13:31,895
He's probably racing
to cure its space aids.
354
00:13:31,979 --> 00:13:33,739
- He's going to eat it!
- He's protecting it!
355
00:13:34,189 --> 00:13:35,649
Both: Shut up!
356
00:13:37,067 --> 00:13:39,069
Whoa!
357
00:13:39,361 --> 00:13:40,988
Unity, this place is a mess.
358
00:13:41,071 --> 00:13:42,197
Oh, it's cool.
359
00:13:42,280 --> 00:13:43,299
The part of me
that's the cleaning lady
360
00:13:43,323 --> 00:13:44,658
is coming on Friday.
361
00:13:44,741 --> 00:13:46,326
[Gasdsi
oh, my god. I have a meeting
362
00:13:46,410 --> 00:13:48,245
at the galactic federation
in an hour.
363
00:13:48,328 --> 00:13:49,329
Oh, I'll never make it.
364
00:13:49,413 --> 00:13:50,956
Ah, I'll push it to next week.
365
00:13:51,039 --> 00:13:53,000
Unity, could you get Rick
out here, please?
366
00:13:53,083 --> 00:13:54,626
He's unavailable. He's...
367
00:13:54,710 --> 00:13:56,336
Having sex with you.
We get it. Gross.
368
00:13:56,420 --> 00:13:57,671
Get him out here now.
369
00:13:57,754 --> 00:13:58,856
I don't think he wants to be...
370
00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:01,049
- Grandpa Rick!
- Rick! Rick!
371
00:14:01,133 --> 00:14:02,843
I'm gonna tell mom and dad
about the gagoo
372
00:14:02,926 --> 00:14:04,320
you have locked up
under the garage!
373
00:14:04,344 --> 00:14:06,888
What the hell is your problem?
374
00:14:06,972 --> 00:14:08,932
Grandpa,
we need to go home, now.
375
00:14:09,016 --> 00:14:10,809
Fine. Sheesh.
376
00:14:13,437 --> 00:14:14,896
See you.
377
00:14:14,980 --> 00:14:16,690
Uh, Rick,
I think we should a//go.
378
00:14:16,773 --> 00:14:19,043
Tend to your garden, kids.
I'm kind of doing a thing here.
379
00:14:19,067 --> 00:14:21,153
Whoo!
380
00:14:21,236 --> 00:14:23,071
Grandpa Rick,
we're not leaving without you.
381
00:14:23,155 --> 00:14:25,073
Oh, my god, you guys. I get it.
382
00:14:25,157 --> 00:14:27,242
You're afraid
the big, bad hive mind
383
00:14:27,325 --> 00:14:29,369
is gonna steal
your grandpa away.
384
00:14:29,453 --> 00:14:30,954
Actually, no.
I think unity's great
385
00:14:31,038 --> 00:14:32,706
and you're
a horrible influence on it.
386
00:14:32,789 --> 00:14:34,374
- — What?
- This isn't healthy, Rick.
387
00:14:34,458 --> 00:14:37,002
You know, you're...
You're really up to no good
388
00:14:37,085 --> 00:14:39,087
around here a-at
this place, you know?
389
00:14:39,171 --> 00:14:40,338
You and unity are like...
390
00:14:40,422 --> 00:14:42,090
Like leggings
and mid-calf boots.
391
00:14:42,174 --> 00:14:43,759
You think you're great together,
392
00:14:43,842 --> 00:14:46,136
but you're just bringing out
the worst in each other.
393
00:14:46,219 --> 00:14:48,764
Oh, gee. Boy, summer. Well put.
394
00:14:48,847 --> 00:14:50,640
Uh, why don't we see
what unity thinks?
395
00:14:50,724 --> 00:14:51,725
Unity?
396
00:14:52,100 --> 00:14:53,769
I'm just taking
a little break from stuff.
397
00:14:53,852 --> 00:14:55,812
You know? I need to relax.
398
00:14:55,896 --> 00:14:57,939
Oh, hey, w-what's this
on the news, guys?
399
00:14:58,023 --> 00:14:59,149
L-i-let me turn it up.
400
00:14:59,232 --> 00:15:00,650
In the news rode y,
401
00:15:00,734 --> 00:15:02,319
this looks
a lot worse than it is.
402
00:15:02,402 --> 00:15:04,029
We 're really just
having a good time.
403
00:15:04,112 --> 00:15:05,447
Karen? Thanks, Todd
404
00:15:05,530 --> 00:15:07,365
up next, are you
a concerned grandchild
405
00:15:07,449 --> 00:15:09,034
or just a buzz/(Ill?
406
00:15:09,117 --> 00:15:10,952
We 'i/ tell you
how you can know for sure.
407
00:15:11,036 --> 00:15:12,954
I think you two
are a little outnumbered.
408
00:15:13,038 --> 00:15:15,123
Okay, well, what if
you did it for me?
409
00:15:15,207 --> 00:15:17,375
What if you came with us
as a favor to us
410
00:15:17,459 --> 00:15:19,086
because you love us?
411
00:15:19,169 --> 00:15:20,837
What? Dumb. Bye.
412
00:15:20,921 --> 00:15:22,255
But Rick, summer's just...
413
00:15:22,339 --> 00:15:24,150
Summer's just a hyper-emotional,
needy little —-
414
00:15:24,174 --> 00:15:25,485
what's the word
I'm looking for here?
415
00:15:25,509 --> 00:15:26,510
Uh... human.
416
00:15:27,094 --> 00:15:28,095
It runs in the family.
417
00:15:28,178 --> 00:15:29,262
I can tolerate it,
418
00:15:29,346 --> 00:15:30,546
butlcant give a crap about it.
419
00:15:30,597 --> 00:15:32,099
Take a hike.
420
00:15:32,182 --> 00:15:35,102
Take care of yourself, unity.
421
00:15:38,230 --> 00:15:40,440
I'm not looking forjudgment,
just a yes or no —-
422
00:15:40,524 --> 00:15:42,400
can you assimilate a giraffe?
423
00:15:42,484 --> 00:15:43,276
You're the worst!
424
00:15:43,360 --> 00:15:46,113
No, you're the worst!
You don't support this family!
425
00:15:46,196 --> 00:15:47,572
All you care about is yourself!
426
00:15:47,656 --> 00:15:48,925
You think supporting the family
is about supporting you emotionally...
427
00:15:48,949 --> 00:15:50,551
You've got two children
being dragged across the cosmos
428
00:15:50,575 --> 00:15:51,969
because it's never
enough, Jerry!
429
00:15:51,993 --> 00:15:53,179
By your dangerously ill father!
430
00:15:53,203 --> 00:15:54,472
And you force me to
watch it happen...
431
00:15:54,496 --> 00:15:56,998
Because you'd rather
lose them and lose me...
432
00:15:57,082 --> 00:15:58,518
It's like to be afraid
of losing anything
433
00:15:58,542 --> 00:15:59,602
- than lose him!
- Because you cling...
434
00:15:59,626 --> 00:16:00,645
And why? Because
you're the child, Beth!
435
00:16:00,669 --> 00:16:03,547
You, not me! You!
436
00:16:03,630 --> 00:16:05,173
- Aah!
- Aah!
437
00:16:05,257 --> 00:16:06,758
- Oh, my god.
- Aah!
438
00:16:12,222 --> 00:16:14,349
Um, first of all, hello.
439
00:16:14,432 --> 00:16:16,518
Uh, my name is
blim blam the korblok.
440
00:16:16,601 --> 00:16:18,395
Second of all,
cards on the table,
441
00:16:18,478 --> 00:16:20,188
I'm a murderer that eats babies,
442
00:16:20,272 --> 00:16:22,774
and I came to this planet
to eat babies.
443
00:16:22,858 --> 00:16:27,612
However, I am also carrying
a highly infectious disease
444
00:16:27,696 --> 00:16:30,991
that I suppose you could call
"space aids" as you put it.
445
00:16:31,074 --> 00:16:32,200
And Rick did chain me up
446
00:16:32,284 --> 00:16:34,202
so that he could
attempt to cure it.
447
00:16:34,286 --> 00:16:36,329
At the same time,
448
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,331
Rick's motivation
to cure my disease
449
00:16:38,415 --> 00:16:40,500
was not to save my life
or anyone else's,
450
00:16:40,584 --> 00:16:43,753
but to patent and sell the cure
for billions of blemflarcks.
451
00:16:43,837 --> 00:16:45,297
But you know the reason why
452
00:16:45,380 --> 00:16:47,340
I ripped my chains
out of the wall?
453
00:16:47,424 --> 00:16:50,218
And do you know whyl'm never
coming back to this planet?
454
00:16:50,302 --> 00:16:54,181
Because the two of you
are the fucking worst!
455
00:16:54,264 --> 00:16:56,850
You both hate yourselves
and each other.
456
00:16:56,933 --> 00:16:59,186
And the idea that it has
anything to do with Rick
457
00:16:59,269 --> 00:17:00,812
is laughable.
458
00:17:00,896 --> 00:17:03,064
I'd laugh,
but I'm biologically incapable.
459
00:17:03,148 --> 00:17:04,858
That's how alien I am.
460
00:17:04,941 --> 00:17:07,319
And even I'm sitting here
listening to the two of you
461
00:17:07,402 --> 00:17:10,238
and being like, "what the fuck"!
462
00:17:10,322 --> 00:17:12,449
So good luck
with your shitty marriage,
463
00:17:12,532 --> 00:17:15,577
and tell Rick I'm sorry he has
to deal with eitherof you.
464
00:17:15,660 --> 00:17:18,038
Blim blam out.
465
00:17:22,959 --> 00:17:25,378
You know what? I'm taking this.
466
00:17:28,757 --> 00:17:31,551
How do you... what is this?
467
00:17:34,179 --> 00:17:37,015
Uh, is there a slow setting?
468
00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:40,018
Best door ever.
469
00:17:43,021 --> 00:17:47,025
Rick:
470
00:17:47,442 --> 00:17:50,528
Okay, okay. Now make them cry,
but happy crying.
471
00:17:50,612 --> 00:17:52,822
Now make them all
make fun of the blonde one.
472
00:17:52,906 --> 00:17:54,342
Now make them all
do it on the table.
473
00:17:54,366 --> 00:17:56,534
I can't believe you created
a whole show for me.
474
00:17:56,618 --> 00:17:58,161
Now cancel it.
475
00:17:58,245 --> 00:17:59,287
Okay, now put it back on.
476
00:18:00,497 --> 00:18:01,957
All right, I'm bored.
477
00:18:02,040 --> 00:18:03,458
Rick, is there a way for you
478
00:18:03,541 --> 00:18:05,085
to call summer and morty?
479
00:18:05,168 --> 00:18:07,504
- I feel bad that they -—
- Tht. Screw those guys.
480
00:18:07,587 --> 00:18:10,006
Ugh. I'll be right back.
481
00:18:10,090 --> 00:18:12,133
Don't waste your brain
on those weirdos, unity.
482
00:18:12,217 --> 00:18:13,236
They're no different
from any of the aimless
483
00:18:13,260 --> 00:18:14,552
chumps that you occupy.
484
00:18:14,636 --> 00:18:16,113
They just put you at
the center of their lives
485
00:18:16,137 --> 00:18:17,305
because you're powerful.
486
00:18:17,389 --> 00:18:18,890
And then because
they put you there,
487
00:18:18,974 --> 00:18:20,294
they want you
to be less powerful.
488
00:18:20,350 --> 00:18:21,410
Never gonna happen
though, right?
489
00:18:21,434 --> 00:18:22,519
All: Never.
490
00:18:22,602 --> 00:18:24,604
Never. Back in a flash.
491
00:18:29,693 --> 00:18:31,611
Best weekend ever, Rick.
492
00:18:31,695 --> 00:18:35,031
I agree, Rick.
Let's see how long we can go.
493
00:18:35,115 --> 00:18:37,951
Hey, une. You got any more —-
494
00:18:40,537 --> 00:18:42,956
female unity:
Rick, forgive me for doing this in notes.
495
00:18:43,039 --> 00:18:46,543
I'm not strong enough
to do it in persons.
496
00:18:46,626 --> 00:18:48,312
Delivery guy:
/realize now that I'm attracted to you
497
00:18:48,336 --> 00:18:50,588
for the same reason
I can't be with you.
498
00:18:50,672 --> 00:18:52,257
You can't change.
499
00:18:52,340 --> 00:18:54,551
Beggar: And / have
no problem with that,
500
00:18:54,634 --> 00:18:57,470
but it clearly means
lha ve a problem with myself.
501
00:18:57,554 --> 00:18:59,914
Newspaper vendor: I'm sure there's no
perfect version of me.
502
00:18:59,973 --> 00:19:02,726
I'm sure / 'i/ just uniij/
species after species
503
00:19:02,809 --> 00:19:04,561
and never really be complete.
504
00:19:04,644 --> 00:19:06,564
Female president:
But / know how it goes with us.
505
00:19:06,646 --> 00:19:09,524
I/ose who I am
and become part of you.
506
00:19:09,607 --> 00:19:10,942
Because in a strange way,
507
00:19:11,026 --> 00:19:13,611
you're better at what / do
without e ven trying.
508
00:19:13,695 --> 00:19:18,658
Yours, and nobody else is,
unity.
509
00:19:19,993 --> 00:19:22,329
P. S, / don't know where
those coal miners were
510
00:19:22,412 --> 00:19:23,538
before they were assimilated
511
00:19:23,621 --> 00:19:25,165
you might want to get checked.
512
00:19:25,248 --> 00:19:26,267
Man:
513
00:19:28,376 --> 00:19:29,377
Hey.
514
00:19:30,503 --> 00:19:31,671
Dad.
515
00:19:33,173 --> 00:19:36,509
I, um... Jerry and I
516
00:19:36,593 --> 00:19:39,179
were looking for
our weed whacker
517
00:19:39,262 --> 00:19:41,723
and found your subterranean lair
518
00:19:41,806 --> 00:19:44,309
and your alien prisoner,
519
00:19:44,392 --> 00:19:46,269
and he got away.
520
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:47,729
And I know I sound like mom,
521
00:19:47,812 --> 00:19:49,623
but I can't sacrifice
this whole family's safety
522
00:19:49,647 --> 00:19:51,483
just because I'm afraid
you'll leave again,
523
00:19:51,566 --> 00:19:53,401
so no more alien prisoners
524
00:19:53,485 --> 00:19:56,196
and no more
subterranean excavation
525
00:19:56,279 --> 00:19:57,697
without consulting us.
526
00:19:57,781 --> 00:19:59,783
- Okay.
- Okay?
527
00:20:00,116 --> 00:20:03,036
"Okay"... like you're gonna
quietly teleport somewhere
528
00:20:03,119 --> 00:20:05,413
- and never come back?
- No. It's your house.
529
00:20:05,497 --> 00:20:08,625
Grandpa Rick,
what happened with unity?
530
00:20:08,708 --> 00:20:11,336
Who? Oh, unity. Yeah, well...
531
00:20:11,419 --> 00:20:13,230
I mean, honestly,
we're talking about an entity
532
00:20:13,254 --> 00:20:14,607
that thrives on
enslavement, you know?
533
00:20:14,631 --> 00:20:16,716
It's not cool. Fun's fun,
but who needs it?
534
00:20:16,800 --> 00:20:18,218
I'll be in the garage.
535
00:20:31,523 --> 00:20:33,400
J” lay it, lay it down j”
536
00:20:33,483 --> 00:20:35,318
j” let me see your hand j”
537
00:20:35,402 --> 00:20:37,821
j” show me what you got j”
538
00:20:38,613 --> 00:20:40,323
j” you're always talking j”
539
00:20:40,407 --> 00:20:42,075
j” but you're not playing j”
540
00:20:42,158 --> 00:20:44,702
j” it doesn't match your face j”
541
00:20:45,495 --> 00:20:49,249
j” get them away,
away from this place j”
542
00:20:49,332 --> 00:20:52,502
j” can you take me now? J”
543
00:20:52,585 --> 00:20:54,421
j” I, iwantitj”
544
00:20:54,504 --> 00:20:56,005
j” I want it real j”
545
00:20:56,089 --> 00:20:58,425
j” are you afraid of me now? J”
546
00:20:59,092 --> 00:21:01,010
j”j”
547
00:21:01,094 --> 00:21:03,763
J” are you afraid of me now? J”
548
00:21:03,847 --> 00:21:05,223
j” do you feel it? J”
549
00:21:05,682 --> 00:21:07,267
j” do you feel it? J”
550
00:21:07,350 --> 00:21:10,854
j” do you feel
that I can see your soul? J”
551
00:21:10,937 --> 00:21:12,188
j” do you feel it? J”
552
00:21:12,689 --> 00:21:14,441
j” do you feel it? J”
553
00:21:14,524 --> 00:21:16,776
j” do you feel the pain
in your heart? J”
554
00:21:16,860 --> 00:21:18,111
j” I, iwantitj”
555
00:21:18,695 --> 00:21:20,196
j” I want it real j”
556
00:21:20,280 --> 00:21:22,740
j” run away with me now j”
557
00:21:23,867 --> 00:21:24,868
j” I, iwantitj”
558
00:21:25,410 --> 00:21:27,537
j” I want it real j”
559
00:21:27,620 --> 00:21:29,539
j” run away with me now j”
560
00:21:29,622 --> 00:21:32,000
j”ah, ah j”
561
00:21:33,960 --> 00:21:36,379
j”j”
562
00:21:44,846 --> 00:21:46,556
J” don't leave me j”
563
00:21:47,891 --> 00:21:51,269
j” never leave me out j”
564
00:21:51,352 --> 00:21:53,563
j” don't leave me j”
565
00:21:54,647 --> 00:21:59,277
j” never leave me out j”
566
00:22:04,449 --> 00:22:06,826
Rick: Unity! Unity!
567
00:22:06,910 --> 00:22:08,286
Unity!
568
00:22:09,037 --> 00:22:10,163
How can I assist you?
569
00:22:10,246 --> 00:22:12,457
I want to talk to
unity, beta seven.
570
00:22:12,540 --> 00:22:13,625
I know it's in there.
571
00:22:13,708 --> 00:22:15,251
You're classified
as a hostile entity,
572
00:22:15,335 --> 00:22:16,961
and unity
doesn't want to talk to you.
573
00:22:17,045 --> 00:22:17,962
I know your game, beta seven.
574
00:22:18,046 --> 00:22:19,214
I've met a billion of you,
575
00:22:19,297 --> 00:22:21,508
you little on—deck,
in-the-wings shoulder to cry on!
576
00:22:21,591 --> 00:22:24,677
You are classified
as a hostile entity.
577
00:22:24,761 --> 00:22:26,238
Oh, you're just loving this, mother—-
578
00:22:26,262 --> 00:22:28,264
this isn't gonna
shake out like you think, pal.
579
00:22:28,348 --> 00:22:29,658
Unity's not into other
hive minds.
580
00:22:29,682 --> 00:22:31,184
It's gonna suck you in
and use you up,
581
00:22:31,267 --> 00:22:32,477
and a month from now,
582
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:33,621
I'm gonna be making out
with all of you
583
00:22:33,645 --> 00:22:34,521
in a bunch of red wigs!
584
00:22:34,604 --> 00:22:36,606
Unity! Unity!
585
00:22:37,190 --> 00:22:39,317
Unity, I know you can hear me.
Get out here.
586
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:40,669
Beta seven:
Weapons systems engaged.
587
00:22:40,693 --> 00:22:42,403
Oh, in your dreams
you have weapon systems.
588
00:22:42,487 --> 00:22:44,822
Ugh, Rick, you said
we were going to a movie.
589
00:22:44,906 --> 00:22:45,823
We are, morty.
590
00:22:45,907 --> 00:22:47,575
All right, beta shit seven,
591
00:22:47,659 --> 00:22:49,619
you just got
saved by the bell, bitch!
592
00:22:51,287 --> 00:22:52,622
Man: Did you get any of that?
593
00:22:52,705 --> 00:22:54,082
Man: It's-a good show-a.
40351
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