All language subtitles for Being Erica (2009) - S01E11 - Shes Lost Control (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 MONOLITH)_track3_[eng]

[Voiceover] Control.

You might call it a life long
obsession.

Within a year of birth,
we're already throwing fits,

trying to control everything
and anything

that touches our lives.

Who's the cutest dude ever?

It's Max.

He's four weeks.

By now, he should've put
on at least three pounds.

He's only put on two and a half.

Oh, that's just a half a pound
though.

Look at him, he's fine.

[baby crying]

[Voiceover] Our addiction
to control starts early,

and it doesn't end there.

The terrible twos, the teenage
years.

Our whole lives are a constant
battle between what we want

and what stands in our way.

Breastfeeding doesn't
just happen, you know?

I mean, so what if I'm
not feeding him right?

What if he's like what if he's
starving?

Hey, look at me.

You're doing a great job.

Yeah.

I'm tired, you know?

Max sleeps all day and then at
night he just wants to feed,

like, every hour.

Jude, sit, sit.

Look, you need a break,
seriously.

Um, Katie, she's coming into
town

for the author's festival on
Saturday.

Why don't you come?

You know, get Anthony to
be on little Max detail.

Can I give you a tentative yes?

Of course.

Oh my God, do not look behind
you.

Oh.

What's going-

Oh, hey, Judith.

Hey.

Oh, you got Max out.

Great.

Hello.

Erica? What are you doing down-

Oh!

Yeah.

Hi.

Max just dropped his little
teething ring.

Teething?

Ah, already.

Growing boy.

Right.

Well, I better get my caffeine
fix in me

before battling a classroom
full of nine-year-olds.

See you around.

[baby crying]

River Rock's annual festival of
authors

is one of this city's primo
events,

so how is this very
important day shaping up?

Brent?

Well, we'll kick things off
with a dose of caffeine,

thanks to the history of coffee.

Wake me up before you go-go.

Mmm.

And then Katie Atkins
will give us a sneak peek

from her first book, The None.

The None?

Hmm, what's that again?

Oh right, it's only my favorite
new

self-help title of the year.

And we have great, great things

planned for this, Julianne,
trust me.

Impress me.

Otherwise this little foray
into the world of junior editor?

More like a detour.

I would not wanna be in
your shoes and and not just

because you're wearing cheap
Patrick Cox knock-offs.

That's funny.

Listen, I know that the stakes
are high,

but I have got great big plans.

Okay, start off by having Katie
read the

first two chapters of the book.

Hello, she only has two
chapters.

And then I thought we could
stage a conversation between,

you know, Katie and a friend,
over wine.

Bring The None to life.

Two words, Kim Cattrall.

The actress?

Yes!

We hire her to play the friend.

Uh, you know that's one way
that we could do it for sure,

but I was, um I was thinking of
something

just a little more real.

Real?

Real, yes.

Authentic.

Getting an everyday woman,
bringing her on-stage.

It's about selling the dream,
Erica.

Selling the dream.

I know, but there's a
difference between

the dream and a fantasy.

And that's the whole point of
the book.

It's just to cut through
all that Hollywood,

happily-ever-after, Cinderella
crap.

Interesting, but real people
can't act,

real people can't stick to a
script.

So if you want my help, I think
we should-

Actually, Julianne put me
in charge of the title.

So, I'm launching it the way I
want to.

Hmm, well then, good luck with
that.

B-B-Brent.

No-no-no-no-no.

No, really, you make a really
mean latte,

so, I'm sure you're totally
qualified to launch a book.

On your own.

[Voiceover] Control.

It's a dangerous obsession.

Take it too far and you could
risk losing it altogether.

[light vocal theme music]

♪ It's clearer inside of
me who I will always be ♪

♪ open me up to my heart.

♪ Feels like I'm seeing in the
dark. ♪

♪ Waking me up to my heart.

♪ Do it all over again and
again ♪

♪ until the end the sum of my
dreams ♪

♪ and everything I ever wanted
to be. ♪

So just ignore the camera and
tell us

anything you want to about love.

I mean, I have a lot to offer a
guy.

Mm-hmm.

At least I think I do.

Maybe I don't.

The last guy I dated dumped
me for some skinny chick

from his rock climbing club.

If there's a God, that
dick and his anorexic bitch

will both plummet to their
deaths.

Give me a tight bod, a
heartbeat, and nipple clamps,

and I'm a happy girl.

Oh, well when you're in your
20s and you

break up with a guy, you
think, pfft, whatever.

No biggie, I'll just move on.

And then you hit 30, and you're
lucky if

the one is even a one night
stand.

[laughing]

I don't know, if it's this hard
at 33,

what's gonna happen when I'm 40?

This is what keeps me up
at night, in my bed, alone.

Oh, Andrea, thank you.

Thank you, we'll be making
our decision shortly.

Well, it was good to meet you.

You as well.

-Absolutely.
-Bye.

Well, I think we found our girl.

Me too.

I loved that girl with the
rock-climbing boyfriend.

She was righteous.

Meeri, she was terrifying.

I meant, I mean, I meant Andrea.

Andrea?

I guess.

Oh, you don't like her?

She seemed kinda pathetic.

Pathetic?

No, I think that she
was just being honest.

Yeah.

Yeah, you're right.

Ah, I mean, what do I know?

Hey, listen, I'm interested
in your opinion, okay?

I'm not one of those crazy
bosses, like-

like Julianne?

Uh, all of the admin assistants
are terrified of her.

Listen, I have a really
big job for you, okay?

I want you to be in charge
of finding the table

and the chairs for the girl
launch.

Me? Really?

Yeah.

Make the re-enactment like
a place that, you know,

you and your girlfriends,
you'd like to hang out at.

I know.

I won't disappoint.

A lot riding on this.

Oh, she's fantastic.

I mean, did you send the right
picture?

Meeri, the re-enactment,
it needs to you know,

sell Katie and the concept of
the book.

[knocking]

Uh-huh.

Yeah, okay.

Wood, yes.

Exactly, perfect.

Uh-huh.

Thank you.

Okay, see you tomorrow, bye.

[knocking]

[Ethan] Erica, I know you're up,

I can hear you through my wall.

Hey.

Hi.

I guess, you're, um here
to talk about this morning?

This morning the last two weeks.

Look, Ethan, I told you, that I
need time.

You also said this would be
temporary.

That we'd go back to being
friends.

This is temporary.

I'm just insanely busy
with work right now.

I see that.

Any way I can help?

No, it's late.

I'll nap tomorrow during recess.

Sorry.

Look, I know you need time, I
hear you.

But for the record, I, I hate
this.

Anyway, don't stay up too late,
okay?

Hey, look, um, it's my
first big book launch

this Saturday, if you wanna
come?

You, I'm gonna be busy,
I'm gonna be running around

like a chicken with his head
cut off,

but Jude should be there and,
you know, Katie, of course.

You know, it's Claire's weekend
to visit.

Oh.

Uh, well, you know, invite her
too.

Really?

Yeah.

You're sure?

Great, well, we'll see you
there.

Okay.

[Ethan] That's great.

[upbeat guitar music]

Meeri, everything looks perfect.

Except for, you know, I did
ask for lilies, not hydrangeas.

Ooh, sturdy table, comfy chairs.

Pour me a glass of wine, Katie,

and I'll bearing my heart and
soul to you.

[giggling]

One glass of wine coming right
up.

So, we have everything under
control.

And you're gonna love
the real girl we hired.

She's amazing.

Yeah.

Ooh, thanks.

Oh, wow, memories of
Communion. [clearing throat]

Meeri, it's like I told you
the other day, all right?

We're aiming for something
really special here,

and there is nothing special
about

a cheap bottle of screw-top
wine.

It's fine.

The audience won't know.

Yeah, but Julianne will.

Okay, so go.

Okay, don't spend less than $30.

Make sure to keep a receipt.

Well, look at you, Ms.
Taskmaster.

Only because Meeri's turning me
into one.

It's like I have to hold her
hand for every tiny decision.

[baby crying]

There he is! [squealing]

Judith, he is absolutely
adorable.

Yeah, he'd be even more
adorable if he'd

stop screaming for five minutes.

Oh, can I hold him?

Maybe I can help.

Ah, wow, I thought that Anthony
was gonna watch over Max?

He was and then work called.

Wow, that's quite the set
of lungs you got on you.

[laughing]

No, Brian's shaving
habits are not perfect,

but I'm not perfect either.

So true.

Yet he's the one for me
and I'm the one for him.

[applause]

Be nice.

Hey, sorry we're late.

We had to park all the way
over on Harbord Street.

Oh no, that's fine.

Katie just started.

Such a big dream of yours
finally coming true.

Congratulations.

Thank you.

Is not that she's unrealistic,
no.

She's been led astray.

She's trying so hard to find
the one

that all that she's left with
is The None.

And that is the end of the
first chapter

from my new and first book.

[applause]

Woo-hoo.

Looks like you have a
probable hit on your hands.

Now I would like to
introduce to you a good

and a single friend of mine.

Oh, she's great, you're gonna
love her.

Andrea Traub.

Hi.

[applause]

Andrea and I are gonna
have a little session here,

a little girl talk.

Well, here's the thing
oh, by the way, Katie,

I love your column.

Oh.

Love it.

Vino!

May I?

Okay, here's the thing.

I'm young, I'm hot, and I
make a six figure income.

And yet you sleep alone.

Which is the plight of so many
women.

Sharing my bed?

Technically, not the problem.

Ah hell, I share my bed,
two, three times a week.

It's just it's It's
never with the same guy.

Oh, unless, do twins count?

Uh twins?

Yeah, two for the price of one.

Oh my God, I met the most
gorgeous set of Armenian twins

at the Drake last weekend.

Friday night it was Armen,
Saturday night it was Arsen.

[baby crying]

Quiet, hey, Max.

Max, honey, now is not the
time, okay?

[Andrea] And then Armen.

Wow, who chose the horn dog?

And Sunday was supposed to be a
threesome,

but I think that woulda been
weird, right?

Maybe you should get her
off the stage, you know?

I've put on my share of
events for tourism Quebec.

Okay, thank you, Claire.

I'm just gonna waltz
up on stage and do that

'cause no one will notice a
thing.

It's a great idea.

It's great.

[baby crying and people talking
quietly]

I'm gonna go get a coffee.

I'll wait for you outside.

Claire.

Good one.

[baby crying]

Listen, I'll be right back,
okay?

Shh-shh-shh.

Hey, Ethan! Ethan!

She's just trying to help!

I know.

So, why couldn't you just be
nice to her?

I mean, you say you wanna be
friends.

And I, you know, I do wanna be
friends,

but I also told you that I need
time.

Then why did you invite me here
today?

Because you were guilting me
out.

Guilting you out?

I just want everything to be
like it was.

That is the point,
Ethan, it can't be, okay?

It can't.

And you-you just-

I what, Erica?

You just, you know, you coast
along

and you refuse to deal with
anything.

What I can't deal with is this.

No, you know what? Hey!

You wanted to talk?

This is me talking.

This is me saying what
I've wanted to say to you

since you gave Claire a second
chance.

Because I don't get it.

I mean, she cheated on you
and then she dumped you.

And the second she expresses
the tiniest little bit

of doubt, there you are, and
you're right back at her feet.

We were married for ten years.

Oh, don't give me that.

You know, if you were
still so in love with her,

then why did we kiss? Huh?

Why are you still in
Toronto when you should be

in Montreal working on your
marriage?

You're just You are
terrified, you are terrified

of making a decision, of
committing to anything,

and that is why you and I are
at the impasse that we're at.

And I am tired of it, I
am tired of you holding

our past for emotional ransom.

[upbeat music]

Dr. Tom?

Over here.

The lotus position.

Also known as padmasana.

Yoga prepares the body for
meditation

which allows us to observe our
thoughts,

so that we're not controlled by
them.

Also lights a fire under your
kundalini.

Pardon me?

Please, sit.

[sighing]

The goal here is to harmonize
the mind with the body.

To keep the focus here.

You know, as opposed to
everything going on up here.

You should give it a go
sometime,
it might do you some good.

So.

Well, everything is a disaster.

I mean, the launch and Ethan.

I mean, my God, after what I
just said,

I don't think that he's
ever gonna forgive me,

but you know what? Everything
that I said, it was the truth.

He just he didn't wanna hear it.

He didn't wanna believe it.

So, what did he say in return?

Wha- Ethan, speak?

Please, he's become this
emotionally paralyzed thing.

I mean, a few weeks ago I told
him that I loved him and now,

I would I would rather
hang out with Claire.

Well, you know, all
friendships do go through

their rough patches.

Mm-mm, no, this is more than
that.

It just, it feels like the
foundations

have been ripped out of our
friendship.

I should have never kissed
Ethan.

Hmm.

Ah.

Well, go ahead then.

And do what?

Well, add it to the list then.

Kissing Ethan.

I can do that?

I mean I can just add that?

He who controls the
present, controls the past.

He who controls the past,
controls the future.

George Orwell.

Okay.

Kissing Ethan.

Done.

So, tell me.

Okay, um it was a few months
ago.

As you know, it was my
high school reunion.

And I brought Ethan as my date.

More like fake boyfriend.

Uh, but that night he did
everything

that a boyfriend should.

He was just so incredibly
caring, loving, actually.

And I don't know if it
was that I was vulnerable,

or that he was too, but I
kissed him.

And at the time it felt like
the most

natural thing in the world.

I kissed him and nothing
has been the same since.

It destroyed our friendship.

If I could go back, I
would not kiss Ethan.

I wouldn't, I wouldn't put us
in jeopardy.

Well you know, avoiding
that kiss is not gonna undo

any feelings that you have
now, your love for him.

But that's my problem, it's not
his.

Namaste.

[gasping]

Oh my God!

Erica, are you okay?

Yeah.

No, I'm fine.

I'm fine. [laughing]

Wowzer, it's getting really
late, so, I'm gonna go.

Um, uh don't forget your
ice cream, it's gonna melt.

So ah, thanks, Ethan.

Okay, good night.

Bye.

[light music]

Okay.

[distant siren blaring]

[yawning]

[birds chirping and light
guitar and flute music]

[phone ringing]

Hello?

Hey, Jude, it's me.

Erica.

Why are you calling me so early?

I thought that you'd be up.

Up?

I didn't leave the reunion 'til
It must've been, God, 2:30.

The reunion.

The, the, right, last night.

Yes.

Are you okay?

Yeah, no, I'm fine.

Sorry.

Uh, hey listen, go back to
sleep.

No, we gotta get brunch going.

But the brunch I remember
that I canceled the brunch.

Erica, what's going on?

About 20 of your closest
friends and classmates

are about to descend on your
place.

I know, I'm just sorry,
I'm still half asleep.

But, uh, brunch is it's gonna
be great.

Um-um, I'm gonna, I'll see you
soon, okay?

Oh God.

Oh, hey! Whoa!

Hey, let me help.

Oh, I got it.

Oh, I think I got it.

Okay, thanks.

Um.

So, um you left in a
real hurry last night.

Oh, no, you know what?

I was just I was just really
tired

and I had to get up early
for this brunch thing, so.

Brunch?

Jenny and Judith coming?

Jenny and Judith and a bunch
of people you don't know.

So it's kind of like last night.

Oh, I had fun last night.

Good, I'm glad that you did.

And thank you again.

Ah, wow, bacon and French toast

aren't gonna cook themselves,
I should get started on it.

I'll see you later, okay?

Okay, okay.

-Thank you.
-Yeah.

Bye!

What is it with French in
front of all the foods we eat?

French Fries, French
Toast, French Onion Soup.

See?

Right.

Right, anyway, back to Ethan.

Oh, come on, there's nothing to
tell.

I mean, there was like like
a momentary little spark

between us, but it was nothing.

Look at you, sparking with
Ethan,

sparking with Alex Berlin.

You, my dear, put me to shame.

Yeah, that is a hard
choice between the guy

that you lost it with and the
guy that you've known forever.

Oh, come on, one night of sex.

In a canoe, hello?

Versus 15 years of history?

I mean that's hardly a fair
fight.

Exactly.

You know Ethan, you love
him I mean, like a friend.

Right.

Yeah, exactly, he's a friend.

He's a really good friend and
that's

that's a friendship that
I don't wanna mess up.

Okay, but, I don't know, you
two guys just

have just always seemed
perfect for each other.

Mm-hmm.

Well, you know what?

It's too much to risk, Jude,
believe me.

Erica, the best way to get
over a guy is to get under one.

It's a fact.

And by under, I mean Alex
Berlin.

Oh, okay, Alex Berlin, he thinks

I'm a pathological lying freak.

And he likes trains.

So what?

Oh my God, if I had known
back in grade eleven

what I know now.

It would have been me popping
Alex's cherry, not you.

Unreal.

No, I do think that is
a great idea though.

His number's in the alumni
directory.

Yes.

It's either Alex or Ethan.

You're way too pretty to die
and old maid.

Now I know it's a long shot,
but I'm just gonna call Alex

and invite him to brunch
and I'll forget to tell him

that it's here, hosted by you,
the freak.

[dialing phone]

Unreal.

There you go, enjoy.

There he is, you guys.

What do I do?

Go and say hello, like a normal
human.

I can't believe you called him.

Hi, Alex.

You're here.

Yeah, I am.

This is, um my apartment.

Oh.

Alex, please, Look, I
know that last night,

it was really unfair.

Uh, yeah, last night was
bizarre.

Yeah, gee, I wonder why?

Maybe because I made up a fake
boyfriend

and then lied to you?

Yup.

Look, the reason why did
that is because I knew

that Katie Atkins was gonna
be there and I was insecure

and I didn't want her to think
that I was this big loser

and then you just got caught
up in the middle of it.

I'm sorry.

Peace?

I promise that it's not
spiked with anything

stronger than champagne.

Mm, it's good.

Good, great.

Hey, listen, come on in.

Make yourself comfortable,
we've got lots of food.

Do you got eggs?

I love eggs.

Do we have eggs?

We got scrambled and over-easy
and deviled

and poached and eggs.

So, I played the French
Horn in band class, right,

and Katie used to pour milk
into it and then the milk,

of course, would sour.

And then she would tell everyone

that the bad smell was you.

You mean, people thought
I smelled like bad milk?

Kinda.

[chuckling]

Ethan, hey. um, are you here
for brunch?

Because we've got more than
enough food.

Actually, I'm here to talk to
Erica.

Erica?

Wow, yeah.

Uh, you know she made a great
spread.

Why don't I make you a plate?

Great spread, so good.

Okay, what the hell is going on?

You guys are acting
just as weird as she is.

Have I done something?

Um, Erica's actually
just right over there,

talking to Alex Berlin.

No, honestly, Ethan and I
are, we're just friends.

I mean, he was in on the whole
thing.

Good.

Mm-hmm.

Ethan!

Erica.

Hey, when did you get here?

Just now.

Oh, I don't know that you guys
officially met last night.

Alex, this is Ethan, Ethan,
this is Alex.

So, funny, 'cause I was
just I was just telling Alex

what amazing friends we are.

Nice to meet you.

You too.

Yeah, I mean, Ethan and
I, we met in university,

in drama class of all things,
right?

And we've just, we've been
best budderoos ever since.

The only difference between
Ethan and my girlfriends

is that he knows how to kill
a spider and hook up my PVR.

Right?

Nice to meet you, Alex.

You too, Ethan.

Alex, can you just
excuse me for one second?

Yeah, of course.

Be right back.

Ethan, hey, where you going?

Home.

But Is everything okay?

I don't know, Erica.

You tell me, what have I done?

You haven't done anything?

Then why are you treating me
like this?

You ignore me one minute, then
we're all buddies the next.

Hey, hey, hey.

Look, I'm not mad at you
or anything at all, uh.

Then why are you acting so
weird?

Last night, I was there
and I felt something

and know you did too,
and you're freaked out.

Hell, I'm freaked out.

You know what, Ethan, I should
probably I really should-

Erica, you felt something,
didn't you?

Ethan, even if I did, we're
I mean, we're friends.

What does that matter?

[kissing]

Isn't that a good thing?

Yes.

Alex.

Alex!

Oh, oh shit!

Oh sshhhit.

I kissed him again.

Who, Alex Berlin?

No, Ethan.

I'm going from upward dog
right into downward dog

and you're kind of in the way
there.

Hey, did you-

Thanks.

Did you hear what I said?

Oh yeah, you kissed Ethan.

It's not like it's the first
time.

Yeah, but it is the first time
again

and I wasn't supposed to, but
I did and why did I do that?

I mean, what is it, unavoidable?

What?

What if I was meant to go
back and not keep us apart,

but get us together?

What if I was wrong all along?

We create our fate, every day
we live.

Henry Miller.

I wanna add another regret to
my list.

[sighing] Erica.

It was the first term of my
undergrad, and Ethan and I,

we were we were in Drama class
together.

And because we knew each
other from residence,

he asked me to be his scene
partner.

Our first assignment,
it was the balcony scene

from Romeo and Juliet.

I mean, we were terrible
actors, but the scene,

it was incredibly romantic.

You know, reading poetry to
each other

and pretending to be lovers.

I mean, it was really hot.

But I wasn't looking for a
boyfriend

because I had just broken
up with my ex, so, romance,

it was the last thing on my
mind.

So, I missed the obvious.

Ethan liked me.

He pursued me, and I did
everything in my power

to keep us just friends.

But Claire, she had no doubts,
you know?

She just she stepped
right into the vacuum,

and then and then before I
knew it they were a couple.

And the rest is history.

And so, you wanna do what,
exactly?

I wanna go back and
become Ethan's girlfriend,

not his friend.

I wanna make up for all those
wasted years

that we could've been together.

Yeah, but you were together, as
friends.

So, you're sure that you wanna
go back and rewrite that?

Yes, yes.

All right, well, hey, it's your
list.

Just friends with Ethan.

My life were better ended by
their hate

than death prorogued wanting of
thy love.

Than death prorogued wanting of
thy love.

Where are we?

By whose direction foundest
thou out this place.

Right, I'm-I'm sorry, I just,
uh lost my train of thought.

Which means you are not
invested in the scene,

or in Shakespeare's words.

I'm sorry, Professor Thorsson.

[sighing] That is all for today.

Your homework?

Practice, practice, practice.

I-I don't get it, you were
off book way before I was.

I know, I'm so sorry, Ethan.

You know, I'm gonna be
fine, it was just nerves.

Right.

Hey, guys, good work.

I'm jealous.

I'm play Lady Macbeth and she's
not

a very nice woman at all.

Don't worry, Thorsson
was casting against type.

Could I have a word, my dear?

Uh, sure.

I'm a firm believer in
the Stanislavski System.

Have you heard of it?

Uh No.

It's a wonderful tool.

You take the text and make it
your own.

You play out your emotions,
how you would feel as Erica,

not Juliet.

Okay, so, Stanislavski?

Mm-hmm.

That's great, you know what?

I'm gonna Google him.

Thank you.

Google?

Hey.

Hey, Claire invited us to grab

a cup of coffee at Jet Fuel.

It's in the east end, but
it's the best in the city.

Oh, you know, I would love to,

but I have to memorize my
lines, so.

Oh, well, why don't you do that

and Ethan can come with me?

You know, it really helps me
to rehearse with a partner.

Oh, oh.

If you don't mind.

But, hey, good luck.

Break a leg tomorrow.

Yeah.

All right, Ethan.

Well, you had the first
part of the scene down,

so let's focus on the, um,
let's see here.

You know, I'm just wondering,
why are you

taking a theater class?

I mean, you don't wanna be an
actor.

Two answers, one I can tell you,

the other, I'll only admit
if you promise not to laugh.

Okay, I promise.

Okay, it's good to have
it on my transcript

if I apply to teachers'
college, and if, um well,

I wanna become the first
legitimate white rapper instead,

I thought it could help
with my stage presence.

Okay, I am the biggest dork
ever.

No, no, I think it's really
sweet,

but you would make a great
teacher.

A teacher is nowhere near as
sexy

as international hip-hop
superstar.

Oh, yes it is.

I mean, your kids,
they're gonna adore you.

They're gonna see how sweet
and good and caring you are.

Take it from me, those qualities

they're they're very, very sexy
in a man.

Oh, uh thanks.

Um, okay, let's just take it
from your line right here.

Um, what satisfaction
canst thou have tonight?

Sure.

How about over here?

Yeah, yeah, great.

What satisfaction canst thou
have tonight?

The exchange of thy love's
faithful vow for mine.

But I gave thee mine
before thou did request it

and yet I would, it were to
give again.

Um, wouldst thou withdraw it?

For what purpose, love?

But to be frank and give it
thee again.

Um.

What?

Uh, um, we-we weren't gonna do
a kiss.

Oh, you know, I know, but
it's only the most romantic

scene ever written, so
don't you think we should?

Well, it doesn't say
here anything about that,

so we probably shouldn't
deliver one, okay?

Okay.

Now let's take it from the top.

Sure.

Definitely.

But soft, what light through
yonder window breaks,

it is the east and Juliet is
the sun.

So, how goes it?

Is your regret everything
you hoped for and more?

No, I think I think that I'm
actually scaring off Ethan.

Oh, really?

Yeah, I mean, I keep forgetting
that he's only known me

for a couple weeks, right?

I have this unfair advantage.

There is advantage in
the wisdom won from pain.

Aeschylus.

I'm jumping the gun.

I'm expecting him to be where
I'm at,

and he probably doesn't
even know my last name.

Oh, I don't know, I think
Strange

is a pretty unforgettable
surname.

You want my advice?

Yes.

Why don't you just slow it all
down?

Because-

Just allow things to
unfold naturally, you know?

Because if I do that,
then Claire, she swoops in

and I'm right back at square
one.

I mean, you should've seen him
today when he was with her.

Just, like, two words out of
her mouth

and he was melting like butter.

Must be the accent.

Yeah, that and the fact that
Claire was,

uh, Claire is really
adorable, back in '94.

Erica.

Hi.

Oh, I'm sorry to interrupt, I
didn't-

Oh, no, no.

Not at all.

Remember, I want those 10
pages on the concept of,

The Leap of Faith, in
Kierkegaard's writings, by
Monday.

Yes, professor Thomas.

So, where's Ethan?

I thought you guys were
rehearsing?

Uh, he had to go to night class.

Oh.

Mm-hmm.

Sexy scene you two have
together, huh?

Yeah, sexy is the word, you
know?

And it doesn't hurt acting
opposite Ethan either.

Yeah, God, I can't believe he's
single.

Yeah, tell me about it.

So, he is single?

He's not interested in any girl?

I mean because today, I don't
know,

it felt like there was
uh a spark between us.

Really, a spark?

Well, um, are you sure?

Yeah.

Because, you know, Claire,

Ethan, he's a really sensitive
guy.

Oh, but I like sensitive men,
I'm French.

I don't think that you're his
type.

Oh yeah?

What makes you think I'm not
his type?

I just do, and you're not.

I mean, you might think so, but
long-term?

I don't know.

Okay.

Well, maybe it's time I go
and find that out myself.

You know, I just I wouldn't do
that.

Why not?

Because.

Because what?

Because, um Ethan is gay.

What?

Mm-hmm.

And I don't wanna be the
one to gossip about it,

but just the way that he
is, you know, in our scenes,

when it comes to all the
kissing stuff in the scene.

the fact that he's in drama
class, I mean, kind of gay.

Wow, I never would've suspected.

I know.

I feel your pain, I do.

And you just, you know what?

Forget about him.

Go out and and find a nice
straight guy.

Oh, come, you spirits that
tend on mortal thoughts.

Un-sex me here and fill me from
the crown

to the toe topful of direst
cruelty!

[applause]

Well done.

And who shall present next?

Erica and Ethan?

You ready?

Oh, I'm something.

As sweet repose and
rest comes to thy heart

as that within my breast.

Wilt thou leave me so
unsatisfied?

What satisfaction canst thou
have tonight?

The exchange of thy love's
faithful vow for mine.

But I gave thee mine
before thou did request it

and yet I would, it were to
give again.

Wouldst thou withdraw it?

For what purpose, love?

But to be frank and give it
thee again.

[romantic music]

[clearing throat]

Um, uh, yet I wish for,
but the thing I have.

My bounty is as boundless
as the sea, my love is deep.

For the more I give thee, the
more I have,

for both are infinite.

[applause]

Congratulations on all your
performances.

There was murder, intrigue,
love.

You should all be very
proud of yourselves.

[applause]

Class dismissed.

No, it was good.

You were great.

Um, Ethan, hey.

Hey.

Uh, just now, I mean on stage,

not that I'm complaining
at all, but I mean,

you said that you weren't
gonna do the kiss,

so why did you do the kiss?

To prove to you that I,
Ethan Wakefield, am not gay.

You know, I should be really
mad at you

for spreading that little rumor.

I, I-

No-no-no, I get it.

I'm a guy in drama and
I kind of freaked out

when you kissed me.

I am so sorry, Ethan.

It's an honest mistake.

So, you don't, I mean, you
don't hate me?

I did, at first, but, um I owe
you.

For what?

Your crazy rumor was a
definite conversation

starter with Claire.

When I cleared everything up,
she asked me out on a date.

It's because of you.

Oh.

So, buds?

Buds.

See you soon.

No, Ethan!

Ethan, wait!

Oh, sorry.

Oh great.

Well, let me guess, Andrea's
still on stage with Katie,

chipping away at your
promotion, bit by naughty bit,

and Ethan is, uh, hey,
wh-where's Ethan?

Dr. Tom, you know where Ethan
is.

Ethan is with Claire.

Oh, really?

'Cause you know what?

I thought for sure that when
you went back

to change history that
history would've changed.

History or fate?

Oh, Erica.

Now, come on, you should
know better than anyone,

at this point, that there's
no such thing as fate.

But Ethan and Claire, they're
clearly meant to be together

and I couldn't stop it.

Oh, men in the game are blind

to what men looking on see
clearly.

Chinese proverb.

Okay, so fine, I am blind.

Open my eyes.

Okay, well five months ago,
Ethan wanted to kiss you.

Right?

And in 1994, Ethan
wanted to be with Claire.

So what is the common
denominator here?

Ethan.

Yeah, Ethan.

Yeah, he's as much a part of
the equation

as you are, you know.

People a not islands.

We are not separate or on our
own.

We are in this together.

And so, you're actions affect
Ethan

and Ethan's actions affect
you and on, and on, and on.

So, it's not that you
couldn't change fate,

it's that you can't make other
peoples' decisions for them.

So, what does Ethan want now?

Well, only Ethan can tell you
that.

But first thing's first, I
would go in

and ask for some help.

Because, boy, do you need it!

That's the thing.

He seemed like a total
gentleman.

Now I'm thinking to myself,
well, this guy could be the one.

Okay and then?

And then he gets me back to his
place,

and dude pulls out a feather
duster,

tells me he's into something
called domestic discipline.

So kinky, but whatever, I'm
open-minded.

So, I get up on his armchair,
like he tell me too.

Like this.

Oh. [giggling nervously]

I'm up here like this, and he
gets me

to dust the wall behind it.

So, I'm dusting away,
la-la-la-la-la,

and then he starts smacking my
ass.

I'm dusting and he smacks

while I'm dusting and he's
smacking away.

Classy.

My ass.

Brent.

Talk to the hand because
the Brent isn't listening.

I need your help, Brent.

I really do.

I tried to help you, you pushed
me away.

So why should I help you now?

Because I thought that I could
do it all.

Because I was so determined
to make today perfect

that I just got lost in the
details,

and I refused to respect
anyone else's opinion

other than my own?

And?

And I was a total, insane,
control freak.

Bingo.

All right, I will work my
magic, but on one condition.

You do everything I tell
you to, No questions asked.

I promise.

Good.

All right, now, let's get up on
stage.

Isn't that weird?

If this book is your
life than let's hear it.

Okay.

That domestic discipline
thing, is there a website?

The life of a single girl, huh,
Katie?

Oh.

And on that charming note,
scene.

What you just witnessed
is every man's nightmare.

An over-sexed, slightly
desperate young woman.

Excuse me?

Willing to suffer date
after soul-crushing date,

just to find the one.

She is a victim of every
single 30 something dating book

that's ever been written, until
now.

Because, The None, is none of
that.

The The None is something new,
something ground-breaking,

Something Erica Strange.

[applause]

Who do you think you are?

Your destiny.

You free tonight?

No.

Maybe I could be.

Hmm.

Well, I hope you enjoyed
our little pre-show.

But Erica, here, is
actually the inspiration

for my new book.

An incredible woman who
deserves an incredible man,

but who has so far been unlucky
in love.

Not that I haven't had my fair
share

of opportunities though.

Why do you think you're still
single?

You know, it's this
rabid desire, you know,

to find the one.

It-it sounds like it's about
the guy,

but really, it's about the girl.

How do you mean?

Well, it's the expectations
we have, you know?

It cuts the male right out of
the equation

because any good relationship,
it's about both people.

You mean, you've spent
so many years going after

what you want, that you forgot
that half of the relationship

is actually in somebody else's
hands.

Yeah, exactly.

Exactly, 'cause any true
relationship,

it's never just about yourself.

So so, if you can stop
looking at it like that

and put aside your desire
to find the perfect man,

you might just find the
man that's perfect for you.

[applause]

Oh, thanks, Katie.

Okay, those go in the records
room

and if it's locked, Brent has
the key.

Okay, look, I'm sorry if I-

Oh, Meeri, don't apologize for
anything.

You did a great job today.

Really, so thank you.

Okay.

[light music]

[clearing throat]

Look down.

Look down.

Oh my God.

No guff.

It wasn't too long ago
that you were just a,

a poorly-dressed girl, past her
prime,

with a penchant for flip-flops.

It's amazing what a few months
can do.

Is this for real?

Are you serious?

I may be tough, but I'm not
unfair.

You proved yourself today.

Thank you.

Uh, but I mean, I had a lot of
help.

Brent, of course, was
invaluable, and Meeri, she's-

It was a team effort,
blah-blah-blah-blah-blah.

You were the one in charge, so
enjoy it.

Oh, we're gonna need to find a
new Erica.

One who actually knows
how to brew a latte.

Definitely.

High-five.

Thank you.

[Voiceover] There comes a
day when we suddenly realize

that the control we
seek will forever remain

just outside our grasp.

For some, it's a terrifying
discovery.

While for others, it's
strangely liberating.

If the only person I can
control is me,

that means I'm off the hook
for the other six billion souls

making their way in this crazy
world.

Thank you, mm-hmm.

[knocking]

Coming.

Hey.

Hey.

What happened to knocking on my
wall?

Can I come in?

Where's Claire?

Montreal.

Can I come in?

What you said to me, I-I
didn't like it, Erica.

Well, I didn't like saying it.

But you did and and you weren't
wrong.

I was paralyzed, in a way.

Claire held all the cards and
when she wanted me back, I-

Yeah, you went, I know.

But I didn't, not really.

Because you were right.

If I really wanted her,
I'd be in Montreal.

I wouldn't be here with you.

♪ Every little thing I do

♪ trickles down and lands on
you. ♪

♪ When I see your face so
bright ♪

♪ makes me wanna do.

What took you so long?

♪ Every little thing I.

♪ Every little thing.

[lighthearted theme music]