All language subtitles for Being Erica (2009) - S01E05 - Adultescence (1080p AMZN WEB-DL x265 MONOLITH)_track3_[eng]

[peaceful music]

[relaxed music]

[children laughing]

[Erica Voiceover] When you're a
kid

being grown up looks so easy.

Nobody tells you it's
harder than it looks.

Okay, bibs, blankets, a monitor.

I am totally getting these.

Look, little temporary tattoos
for babies.

[laughing]

Oh, look at it, there's a
little stroller,

a little pacifier, a little "I
love mom".

It's cute, right?

Yeah, it's more of a novelty
item.

Focus on the must haves,
what Judith really needs.

A bumbo, a graco snug
ride, and the daphne.

Chaz loves his daphne.

[laughing]

Is that a stuffed animal?

It's a reclining plastic bath
seat.

Right, of course.

Now, what about the high chair?

You've got options.

[Erica Voiceover] That those
feelings that you have,

that you don't measure up,
that you're not keeping pace,

they never go away.

So you must be the best friend
we've heard so much about.

Mm-hmm.

You must be excited for this
baby.

Oh, I am.

And how are preparations
for the shower coming?

Good, I mean, they're really
good.

I'm almost ready.

Organizing these things
can be so much work.

We threw one last year for
Marie's sister.

I can recommend a really
good caterer if you want.

A caterer.

Okay, Erica, I need your
opinion.

Yes.

Anthony likes the green one,
but I'm just, I'm not sure.

What do you think?

No contest at all, Jude.

Lo-tech, high-tech.

It reclines, it swivels, it,

it's got a five point harness.

This is just much more
practical.

Ah, but the low-tech, I mean,
it's, it's really cute and

I like the wood, it's more
natural.

Yeah, it is cute, and the wood
is nice.

And, oh god, it costs about
the same as a Lamborghini.

[laughs]

[phone ringing]

Oh excuse me.

What?

High chairs are pricey,

but that's what the
godmother's for, right?

God, godmother?

Jude told you, didn't she?

Marie, it was supposed to be a
surprise.

No, that's fine.

I'll just pretend that, like I
don't know.

Damn you guys, I've gotta run.

Anthony's got this lunch thing
and--

Well, you can't go yet.

We need to put the items
on the registry first.

Maybe we can coordinate
something.

You know what?

You just go.

-I'll deal with it.
-Really?

Yeah, no problem.

Okay.

Thank you.

[Marie] See you at the shower.

Looking forward to it.

[Erica Voiceover] What
do you do when you feel

like you're the only kid
in a room full of adults?

Well, the only thing you can do.

You smile, you step up, and
try your best to fit in.

Hi, there.

Um, this is Judith Winter's
registry,

I'd just like to enter
these into the system

and can I include, um, a
delivery to my address?

I'm hosting the baby shower.

Oh, great.

Yeah.

And, I would also like to
buy the wooden high chair.

Wow, she must be a really good
friend.

She is, and uh.

It looks like I'm gonna
be the godmother, so--

Oh, great.

Okay, so debit or credit?

Um, whatever works, we'll see.

♪ Ba ba ba ba

♪ Ba ba ba ba

♪ It's clearer inside of me

♪ Who I will always be

♪ Open me up to my heart

♪ Feels like I'm seeing in the
dark ♪

♪ Waking me up to my heart

♪ To do it all over again and
again ♪

♪ Right to the end

♪ Some of my dreams

♪ And everything I ever wanted
to be ♪

I'm gonna put a bank of candles
there.

And some classical music.

I think it looks great the way
it is.

No, no, it needs a more of a
mature vibe.

I mean, it's, it's a baby
shower,

it's not some kid's birthday
party.

-Did you see the, um--
-What do you need?

I think it's underneath there.

That thing?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Well you know, for $400,

you'd think they'd include
instructions in English.

Some inheritance I don't know
about?

My best friend is having a
baby and I'm the godmother.

You?

Yes, me.

Is that so hard to believe?

No, no, not at all.

It's just, um, well, it's a big
honor.

I know.

Hey, why don't you come by
later.

I'll put aside some wine or you.

Thanks, but I don't,

I don't think you want guys
around here.

No, it'll be fun.

I'm having it catered.

Jenny's bringing the cake.

It'll be a lot of fun.

I'm going to Montreal.

Really?

Yeah, I think I need to talk to
Claire.

You don't have a long
distance calling plan?

No, I mean really talk to her.

Look, I've had a month to
think about it and I just.

I really need to
understand what went wrong.

She cheated on you.

Erica, I can't just end this
and never talk to her again.

I'm not going back to
reconcile, I just, I feel like.

I just wanna feel that it's
over.

No, I get it.

Yeah, go and do what you need
to do.

Thanks.

Okay.

Code Red.

I don't have wrapping paper
or even a dorky gift bag.

Ah in the bedroom, left side
of the closet, third shelf.

You know, a baby shower is
basically

just rewarding somebody for
having sex.

I have sex all the time,
where is my reward?

I think it's the having sex
part.

Hmm.

I'll be back Sunday night.

I'm supply teaching Monday
morning.

Okay.

Well, listen, um, drive safe,
you know.

Thanks.

And, uh, good luck.

Thanks.

Have fun.

Okay, thank you.

-Bye.
-Bye.

[door knocking]

What did you forget?

What are you, what are you
doing here?

Listen, Jenny's, Jenny's in the
bedroom.

I'm just checking in.

Interesting reading material.

"A Girlfriend's Guide to
Pregnancy."

Judith made me the godmother.

Really?

Yeah.

Why is that a surprise?

Do I look surprised?

I think if anyone's surprised,
it's you.

Okay, well, historically,
I haven't exactly,

you know, been godmother
material.

Because the godmother is
the one that, you know,

takes care of the child if,
well,

if something were to happen.

It's a lot of responsibility,
you know?

You need a really secure, calm,
stable person for that job.

Oh, and that's not you?

No, it never used to be.

But, you know, 'cause I kind of
always

thought that I was more of
the wacky aunt Erica type.

But you know I, I have a job
now.

Something that might
lead to an actual career.

I mean, everything in my
life is falling into place.

And Judith sees that.

Obviously, Anthony agrees.

And, I just think that,

it's time that I started seeing
it too.

Okay, does this just look like
shit,

or some kinda avant-garde
origami?

-Hi.
-Hi.

Who are you?

Uh, the neighbor.

And he just came over to
borrow some of the, um,

some of that, there.

[peaceful music]

Thanks.

You're welcome.

Why don't I show you out?

-Sure.
-Okay.

Bye.

[Dr. Tom] Bye.

See you soon.

So, thoughts?

Wow, um, why don't you give me
that

and you can take out your
origami skills on those napkins?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

♪ How did we pass the time

[people chatter]

♪ Everyday we'd climb

I asked the caterer not
to put alcohol, obviously,

in the petites fours,

the cheese in the quiche is
pasteurized

and the coffee is decaf.

Wow, you had this catered?

Of course.

I'm not just gonna throw
something together.

Okay, now as for you, just
relax,

enjoy yourself, take a load off.

If you need anything I'm
at your beck and call.

Okay.

Oh okay,

Hey, how are you?

Oh, would you excuse me for a
second?

Can I talk to you for a minute.

Sam, Sam.

You know if you keep checking
in on Josh,

it's not gonna be a very fun
stag night.

I know that's kind of the point.

I don't want it to be too much
fun.

His best friend Ryan is in town

and they always get into
trouble.

I told Josh, no strippers and I
meant it.

Just keep it clean and
classy, just like this.

Great party, by the way.

Thank you, thanks.

I like to think I come by it,
honestly.

Yeah if this was one of mom's,

there would be a ton of--

[Together] Brisket!

There you are, Erica.

How thoughtful of you to
provide wine

for us non-pregnant types.

What's that?

[Erica] Oh, that is a baby
Bjorn.

How do you know that?

Research.

Hey, ladies.

Um, Alyson and Marie, this is
Jenny.

Fabulous shower.

I love all the little details.

Thank you.

Thank, thank you.

Um, would you ladies
like something to drink?

Sure.

I have wine or,

of course a plethora of
non-alcoholic drinks.

I've got San Pellegrino
and, um, fruit juices.

You know what?

This elderberry juice is delish.

Try some with ice?

Hilarious.

[laughing]

This must be from you, Erica.

Oh, actually, I um.

Those I think are from Jenny.

I couldn't resist.

Here, I'll, uh, I'll grab you
mine.

Pardon me.

Da da dum.

Erica, no, you didn't.

I did. Of course I did.

Judith, this is your first
child.

Thank you.

This is a bit awkward.

What?

We already bought the other
high chair for Judith.

It's being delivered tomorrow.

We know you wanted to pay for
it yourself,

but it's a godmother's right
to spoil the baby, isn't it?

And especially when there are
two of us.

Um, the other high chair.

Yeah.

I mean, 'cause it's so
much more practical, right?

I can totally take this back.

I'm just gonna see if I, uh.

I just wanna make sure I
didn't throw out the receipt.

Would you excuse me for a
second?

Sorry.

Hey.

Where is that?

You're upset.

No, I'm fine, I'm totally fine.

Well, you're not acting fine.

No, you know, Judith, I really.

I think I just got a little bit
carried

away at the baby store, you
know, I just really, you know,

I wanted to do something
special and--

This party is really special.

Well, I am glad.

Because, and you know, besides,

that other high chair, it just,

it sounds way more practical,
right?

And Alyson and Marie,

they seem like total godmother
material.

I put a lot of thought into the
decision,

and it wasn't easy.

But, you know, they've got a
kid already

and they're stable and
they just get it, you know?

Totally, I mean, that
makes sense, you know?

And I'm, I'm more like the
wacky aunt Erica, right?

Yeah, you lead this
incredible fun life and,

you're gonna be the best wacky
aunt ever.

Yes.

Where is that receipt?

Yo, hostess.

You forget there's a party
going on?

Yeah.

Are you okay?

I'm fine, you guys, I'm totally
fine.

Go out and enjoy your guests.

I'm gonna grab some cake.

Jenny.

Look, I'm not stupid.

What's up?

You look like you're gonna bawl.

I just, I, I thought
that I was the godmother

and it turns out that
Alyson and Marie are.

I mean, it's totally, it's not
a big deal.

Judith's only known them for a
year.

Does Anthony even know them?

I don't get that.

Okay, well listen, to
this night ending quickly.

You know what?

If you ask me, you dodged a
bullet, babe.

Mm-hmm.

-Yeah.
-Come on.

-Okay.
-Always.

Let's get some cake.

[people chatter]

Alright.

So who's ready for cake?

Um, this is, uh, Jenny brought
the cake.

Oh, um, everyone, please,
uh, before we cake it up,

I have something to say.

Uh, first of all,

I want to thank you all
for coming tonight, um,

and I also want to especially
thank Erica

for making me a beautiful baby
shower.

She's gonna be the best wacky
aunt ever.

Just like she's been
my best friend forever.

So, to Erica.

Wow, thanks.

[Women] To Erica.

Cheers.

[groans]

Oh my Jenny.

Sam.

Jenny, are you okay?

[groaning]

Jenny.

[Marie] Did she drink too much?

What, where am I?

[Judith] Oh, we need to get her
in a cab.

No, Erica, please, please.

My car is just outside, drive
me home.

Of course, okay.

Listen, I'm gonna, take a cab
back.

I'll be half an hour.

Okay, just take your time.

Here, take your time, take your
time.

I am so, I'm so sorry.

Oh honey are you okay?

I'm really sorry for ruining
the party.

No, no, no it's fine, honey.

Okay.

Hey, Jenny, honey.

It's okay, you're home.

[Jenny] Oh, thank god.

So, what is it?

I mean was it your stomach?

Are you just exhausted?

Or what?

Me, tired?

Please, the night's just begun.

We're gonna go for a drink.

Jenny?

What the hell?

Like I was gonna let
you suffer any longer.

I can't believe you, we're
going back.

No, we're not, okay?

You need some time to
decompress, babe.

We can't have you bawling
all over the place, okay?

[groans] You know, with Judith,
she can,

I mean, she can pick whoever
she wants.

Yes, yes, but she could've
maybe told you before tonight.

It was insensitive.

Hey, don't argue.

You know sometimes, I
swear Judith is a computer.

A data processing automaton.

You're terrible.

Look, the thing is, is
that Alyson and Marie,

I mean, they're parents.

They have great jobs,
they make a lot of money.

So?

So maybe if I were more like
them,

then Judith would've picked me.

Wait, you wanna be more like
them?

Wow.

This calls for some pretty
serious action.

I apologize in advance
for what I'm about to do.

[laughs]

No Jenny.

Not funny!

Jenny.

Hi.

Jennifer.

I'm just with her.

Alright.

♪ These are the days

♪ When I could say that
she is rock and roll ♪

♪ And ever since that day
remember ♪

♪ You stayed away

♪ Now I've been thinking of you
everyday ♪

♪ Come back home

Um, can I have my purse, please?

Oh, this?

This?

Yes, Jenny, I'm serious.

Really mature.

Since when do you buy
elderberry juice?

Since now.

Get on stage with me.

♪ Ooh

Or enjoy sleeping on a park
bench tonight

because your money and keys
are one with my crotch.

Okay, fine, one song, but
that's it.

-Okay.
-No, I mean it.

No, that's fine.

-Fine.
-Alright.

Cheers.

[moans]

♪ Some come home right now

Listen, she's turning
30 in, like three hours

and she's never karaoke'd before

and she's dying of some rare
incurable tropical disease.

I know, cutie.

Go, go.

Break a leg.

Thank you.

Oh god.

["Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"]

You start.

♪ I come home in the morning
light ♪

♪ My mother says when you
gonna live your life right ♪

♪ Oh mother dear we're
not the fortunate ones ♪

♪ But girls they wanna have fun
♪

♪ Oh girls just want to have
fun ♪

Come on.

Hold it.

She put me up to this, cover
your ears.

♪ The phone rings in the
middle of the night ♪

♪ My father yells what you
gonna do with your life ♪

♪ Oh daddy dear you know
you're still number one ♪

♪ But girls they wanna have fun
♪

♪ Oh girls just want to have

♪ That's all they really want

♪ Just fun

♪ When the work--

I think a lot of babies do
that, you know.

What?

No, I don't believe you,

Erica hates singing in public.

Okay, wait.

♪ Oh daddy dear you know
you're still number one ♪

♪ But girls they wanna have fun
♪

Hi.

Hey.

Um, Erica is singing?

Who sent that?

Yeah, um.

Come on, who sent it?

Josh.

Erica and Jenny ran into him
at his stag or something.

♪ Girls they wanna have fun

Right.

No one sec.

["Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"]

[audience applauding]

Let's go.

So embarrassing.

Okay, you got your song,
now give me the purse.

Nice work Strange.

Josh?

So, uh, this is your stag, huh?

It's nice and tame.

Sam'll be happy.

Jennifer, you're looking
particularly hot this evening.

Jenny I think it's time
that we, we, we leave.

Well, that's too bad.

You should probably meet Ryan,

considering you guys are
gonna have to share duties.

Erica's Sam's sister,
ergo the maid of honor.

Ryan's my best man.

Best man, duty.

You are the Ryan.

The college roommate that
would sleep in the deck chair,

in the hallway, when
Sam would come to stay?

You know, I was seeing a
chiropractor

about that for a while, but
then I found out if you just

tone the stomach muscles,
the back pain melts away.

[laughing]

Why haven't we met before?

Oh, this guy's international.

And thanks to my investment
planning,

he has houses in, like, four
cities.

The one in London's a flat.

Who can afford a house in
London, right?

Yeah, I mean, the fees for the
chimney sweep alone, right?

Phew!

[clears throat] Trust
me, don't buy the cow.

Milk's free everywhere, all
right?

We're outta here, let's go.

Nice, Josh.

[Josh] Come on, let's go.

The opinions of the
groom don't necessarily

reflect the standards of the
best man.

Well, then I will try not to

hold your taste in friends
against you.

Dude, come on, let's go, poker!

I gotta.

I'm the best man, it's my
duty to be his whipping boy.

Well, hey, just make sure
my future brother-in-law

remains a virgin.

We'll be in the VIP room

if you two ever get tired of
karaoke.

When you're tired of karaoke,
you're tired of life.

[phone beeping]

Wow.

Wow is right.

Oh, awesome.

Two missed calls from Judith.

[phone beeping]

Excuse me.

So, you and Jenny are out doing
karaoke?

How did you know?

I thought Jenny was sick.

Um, no, she's uh, she's fine.

It was just a misunderstanding,
Jude.

She fainted in your living room.

Look, I'm gonna be there in 10
minutes,

I'm just hailing a cab right
now.

[Judith] No, just stay out.

Enjoy yourself.

Judith.

You know what, you're not the
godmother.

Fine, you get upset, whatever.

But then you go and do this?

God, you wonder why I
chose Alyson and Marie?

No wondering here, not anymore.

I fully get it.

I need a drink.

Okay, I know you need a drink.

Let's get you one

and then you should really
go and talk to Judith.

No, I don't think so.

Uh uh.

Hey, you know what?

I have always wanted to
learn how to play poker.

Erica, I think--

You know what?

The thing is, is that I tried.

But no matter what I do, what
job I have,

I'm still gonna be wacky Erica.

You know, the irresponsible one,

the flake and you know what?

That's fine.

That's fine, I really don't
care.

I'm just as happy to
party at the kids' table.

Thanks for the loaner.

Well, you can keep it
because I don't need it.

So, baby shower didn't go so
well, hm?

Yeah, huh?

Well, let me guess.

The party didn't turn
out the way you'd hoped,

and now you don't want to go
back.

Just tell me, you know,
where am I going today?

Your Bat Mitzvah.

My Bat Mitzvah?

Why?

Well, because you ran
away from that party too.

"And those who fail to learn
from history

are doomed to repeat it."

Winston Churchill.

I'm going back to the 80's?

You're going back to that
special Jewish,

coming of age ceremony

where you left childhood behind
forever

and became an adult.

And so why is this a regret?

My parents.

They spent six months
planning my Bat Mitzvah.

I had requested this Dirty
Dancing theme,

and my mom, she was a
huge Patrick Swayze fan,

so she was all over it, but
failed to deliver in every way.

My Bat Mitzvah, it meant a
lot to me and to my parents.

I just had this idea
about how it was gonna be

and when it didn't go according
to plan, I just freaked out.

You know, it felt like
everything was going wrong,

and the final straw was
this kid, Cody Maxwell.

Cody was the cool kid.

He was the guy that
everybody wanted at their

Bat Mitzvahs and I, I don't
know, somehow,

he ended up calling me a jewser.

Jewser!

A jewser?

Yeah, it's, it's, like
loser, but with jew.

Ah.

Anyway, that was it.

You know, I had pinned all
of my hopes on this day, and,

it, it felt like such a huge
failure

so I was a huge failure, and
I, I bailed on the whole thing.

I stormed out and spent the
evening in the car, crying.

My parents were devastated.

They got into a huge fight

all because of my silly freak
out.

And what would you do
differently?

I would stay.

I would hang with my parents
and,

and Leo and Sammy

and I would dance with my
friends.

Just enjoy it for what it is.

Instead of making it into
something that it isn't.

[speaking in foreign language]

Oh my god.

Okay, Erica, it's time
to read from the Torah.

The Torah?

Oh, no.

[suspenseful music]

Okay, Erica, you can start.

Could you help me out with the
first line?

[speaking in foreign language]

[cheerful music]

I just want you to know how
proud we are of you, darling,

and that we would never
put baby in the corner.

Because you're no longer a baby.

You are a woman now.

[audience applauding]

What do you think?

It's great.

You really outdid yourselves.

♪ Oh baby dance with me

♪ Come on baby

♪ Oh please, won't you
just dance with me ♪

Now, I hope you don't mind we
didn't hire

a proper Patrick Swayze
impersonator?

But Uncle Ruby's seen
Dirty Dancing 53 times.

No, I love it.

♪ With me now

♪ Oh honey dance with me

♪ Come on baby

Hello, young lady.

May I have this dance?

♪ Take a chance with me

♪ Come a little closer

♪ Girl you're looking so fine

♪ I need you to be mine

♪ Won't you look my way

♪ I can't wait another day

♪ To see you baby

♪ It's driving me crazy

♪ Baby dance with me

♪ Come on baby

♪ Oh please

♪ Come on girl

♪ Won't you call me up

♪ Come on baby

♪ 'Cause I can't miss another
chance ♪

♪ For you to dance

♪ With me now

[laughing]

[audience applauding]

I have never actually watched

someone commit social suicide.

Come on, Jenny, it was
hilarious.

Do you realize Cody Maxwell is
here?

I heard last weekend

that he actually kissed that
skeezer, Carly Rosenfeld.

And you're way cuter than her,

so I totally thought
he was gonna kiss you.

But now, no way.

This Bat Mitzvah is shit.

Can't believe I chose this
one over Rachel Epstein's.

You can always leave, that's an
option.

Yeah, I think maybe I will.

Hey, Barry, what do you call
a loser at her Bat Mitzvah?

A jewser.

[laughing]

You know, Cody, not to
be condescending and all,

but all this judging
of people, not so nice.

Especially considering the
fact that you're a bed wetter.

You're thinking, how does she
know?

Not gonna bore you with the
details,

but after the class trip
to Ottawa next year,

everyone will know and your
reign of terror will be over.

Cody, being a little shit again?

Get outta here.

[laughs]

Leo, look at your hair?

What?

It's choice.

It's a mullet.

All business in the front,
party in the back, baby.

Oh, speaking of parties.

Brought my guitar,

gonna maybe jam with the band
later, if they'll let me.

Very cool.

Yeah.

So, I just wanted to say,

you nailin' that little
bastard was way cool.

You saw that?

I did, and it was righteous.

Up high.

Down low.

In the middle, too slow!

Have fun, sis.

♪ Baby dance with me

Two Tom Collins on the rocks.

Thanks, chief.

[speaking in foreign language]

How's my girl doing?

Awesome.

This party's, like, the coolest
ever.

Watch this one.

Juice or water, that's it.

Not to worry, sir, I'll
keep an eye on her.

Thanks for the Torah part.

You couldn't have just
brought me to the party?

"No party is any fun unless
seasoned with folly."

Desiderius Erasmus.

Took out Cody Maxwell and my
brother called me righteous.

That deserves a cocktail, don't
you think?

I cannot serve alcohol to
minors.

You heard your father.

The fact that I'm a
child is a technicality.

Do you know who was a
really remarkable child?

Shirley Temple.

So, this is my Bat Mitzvah.

Yes, it is.

It's pretty great.

Even my dad seems happy.

I don't think I remember him
smiling until the late 90's.

You know, it's nice to see them
like that.

To enjoy it.

To be 32 and to not give a damn.

Erica.

Erica.

Will you take this damn thing,
please?

What is that?

A Shirley Temple.

Come with me, sweetheart.

What's wrong?

I just want to have a
little chat with you.

♪ So come with me

♪ 'Cause we're meant to be

And you know, honey, in
the next little while

your body is gonna start to
change too.

So many changes.

Mom, can we not talk about this
right now?

Of course, I'm sorry.

I don't want to embarrass
you in front of your friends.

It's just,

I look at this face and
I see my little baby.

Before you know it, I'll
be walking down the aisle,

playing with my grandchildren,
visiting you at the firm.

The firm?

The law firm.

Don't you still want to be a
lawyer?

Right, a lawyer.

Wow, I forgot all about that
little phase.

I mean, yeah, that could happen,

but it's also possible I
won't get married right away.

I might be 30 and still single.

Oh, sweetheart, don't worry,
that's not gonna happen.

By 30, you'll have two kids
and a husband, trust me.

But what if I don't?

What if I'm not a lawyer?

What if, at 30, I'm still single

and living in a one bedroom
apartment

and working as someone's
assistant?

Erica, that's not gonna happen.

Living like that.

Like some bum, at 30.

That's not you.

Now stop thinking such terrible
thoughts.

Go.

Be with your friends.

I love you.

Thank you.

Oh that, that was mine but
that's fine.

Too bad.

[melancholy music]

Hey, party's that way.

I need a minute.

Oh, I think it's a shame

that you're not enjoying your
Bat Mitzvah.

It is a once-in-a-lifetime
event.

Twice, if you're me.

That's true.

Why do I even care?

I mean, what's the point
of doing this again?

It's not like I'm gonna
reach adulthood anyway,

at least not according
to how my mom defines it.

Well, you know then, why not
just try being who you are?

Hey, how 'bout that?

I'm not even sure I know who I
am.

No, that's not true.

You're Erica Strange.

Friend, daughter, crazy
aunt, Bat Mitzvah honoree.

Bat Mitzvah honoree?

Yeah, right.

You know what it's like, Erica?

It's like, it's like you are in
a boat.

You've got this one oar over
here

and it's just rowing
and rowing and rowing.

You know, furiously fueled by
everyone else's expectations.

And that's, that's never gonna
stop,

but it's kinda got you
going around in circles.

'Cause if you want to move
forward,

then you also have to row with
the oar

that represents how you see
yourself.

"Learn to be what you are

"and learn to resign with good
grace all that you are not."

Henri Frederic Amiel.

[suspenseful music]

Like, oh my god, the band is
packing up,

and Cody Maxwell's dragging
everyone

to Rachel Epstein's Bat Mitzvah.

Why is the band packing up?

It's only eight o'clock.

Did you not hear what I said?

Don't move.

If you'd just listened to me,

none of this would've happened.

Why is the band stopping?

People still wanna dance.

Because we just hired them
for a certain amount of time.

Well, could we offer
them more money to stay?

The thing, sweetie, is that,
there isn't more money.

Oh, please, Gary, I told
you not to discuss this

in front of the kids.

We should've hired a DJ.

It would've been a lot cheaper
than hiring a stupid band.

Oh, okay, so then it's my fault?

A band, DJ, honestly, I don't
care.

You see, she doesn't care.

I just want it to be a good
time.

So, why didn't we just
hire Leo and his guitar?

Oh, Gary, don't be ridiculous.

Come on.

Whoa, what're we doing?

You wanted to jam, right?

No way.

Way.

What are we playing?

Uh hi.

You're probably wondering why
the band's packed up so early.

Well, my parents wanted
them to play all night,

but I wanted to try
something a little different.

But first I wanted to thank my
parents

for throwing me the best Bat
Mitzvah ever.

[guitar strums]

♪ I come home in the morning
light ♪

♪ My mother says when you
gonna live your life right ♪

♪ Oh mother dear we're
not the fortunate ones ♪

♪ But girls they wanna have fun
♪

♪ Oh girls just want to have
fun ♪

♪ The phone rings in the
middle of the night ♪

♪ My father yells what you
gonna do with your life ♪

♪ Oh daddy dear you know
you're still number one ♪

♪ But girls they wanna have fun
♪

♪ Oh girls just want to have

♪ That's what all they really
want ♪

♪ Some fun

♪ When the working day is done

♪ Oh girls they wanna have fun

♪ Oh girls just wanna have fun

13 years ago.

13 years ago, my wife
gave me a great gift.

A girl.

A girl who has your tenacity.

And your tempestuousness.

And your wit.

And your compassion.

And today we celebrate
together as that girl

becomes a woman.

[audience applauding]

Hey, girls.

Glad you changed your mind.

If they want to stay,
this becomes strip poker.

Off with the shirts.

That includes you, Jennifer.

I'm in.

Um, I'm out.

I mean, I'm gonna, I'm leaving.

What?

You just said--

I changed my mind though, so.

And I can't change it back?

Um, wow trust me, under
normal circumstances

you most definitely could,

but there's somewhere
that I really need to be.

Well, what's the forecast
for tomorrow then?

Because if that calls
for normal circumstances,

I'd love to take you out for
dinner.

That would be great, yeah.

Um, do you wanna a phone
number or email or--

You know what?

You're in a rush right
now, so don't worry,

I'll figure it out.

Torture Josh if I have to.

Okay, please do.

[peaceful music]

Hi goodnight, thanks.

[Guest] Goodnight.

Oh, Judith, thank god, you're
still here.

Please, please, please, just
hear me out.

Alyson and Marie are
waiting for me downstairs.

I know, I just, I'm sorry
that I took off on you,

and Jenny and I with
karaoke, it was just stupid.

Whatever, I don't care, okay?

I really don't.

Judith.

Jude please.

Hey, it's me, again, um.

I'm just, I'm calling to
apologize.

Jude, please call me back.

[door knocking]

Judith.

I brought your book back.

Thanks, it'll make great
kindling.

No, it was a good read.

Yeah, but I'm not the godmother

and I sure as hell don't
wanna be the wacky aunt.

Who says you have to be either?

E. E. Cummings said

"It takes a lot of courage to
grow up

"and be who you really are."

Goodnight.

♪ Ba ba ba ba

Judith.

[doorbell ringing]

[door knocking]

Hey Jude.

Okay, I'm going around to the
back.

Judith.

Mrs. Winters!

Come on, Judith, I know you're
in there.

I am not leaving until you come
out.

Hey.

You walked out on my baby
shower.

I know.

I was wrong.

And.

Look, the whole godmother
thing, okay.

Alyson and Marie, they were
the right choice, Jude.

I get it.

I picked them. because they've
been through this before.

And I haven't, and I'm
terrified.

And maybe it was insensitive,
okay?

And a mistake.

No, it wasn't.

It wasn't.

The whole time you were gone,
they kept talking about, uh,

egg yolk baby poop?

Yeah it's newborn poop.

It's like, uh, it's like egg
yolk,

but it smells like popcorn.

[laughs] Oh my god.

I am not handling this.

How do you even know about that?

I did some research, you know?

When I thought that I was
gonna be the, whatever.

Oh god, I feel terrible.

Don't, don't. hey listen.

You made the right choice.

You did the right thing.

And I'm gonna, I'm gonna
babysit.

I'm gonna spoil your kid rotten.

I, I'm gonna bring you
casseroles
when you aren't sleeping

and do everything that I can to
help you.

'Cause godmother or not,
I'm still your best friend.

And surprise!

What's this?

It's the last thing on your
registry.

Ba ba ba bum.

The diaper eater!

Probably the least flashy
thing that you could get,

but it's practical.

And every time I use
it, I will think of you.

Thanks.

No, thank you.

[Erica Voiceover] There comes
a point when you realize,

truth is this,

being grown up is simply
knowing who you are

and having the courage to be
that person,

warts and all.

[peaceful music]

Hey, you.

Erica.

I see you're back from
Montreal in one piece.

I am.

So, how did it go?

Better than it should've,
actually.

Wow, I mean, that's surprising.

Ryan.

Okay, um, well look,

I'll talk to you later, all
right?

Yeah, I'll talk to you later.

-Hi.
-Hey.

You're early.

I know, I am early.

Half an hour early.

And I know that may seem
creepy, but,

I just like showing up early
for things.

That's okay.

I was gonna change into
something nicer though.

You look great.

Thank you.

Uh, do you wanna, do you
wanna come in for a second?

I've got lots of elderberry
juice left over from last night.

Elderberry?

It's actually quite good.

I'll trust you on that one.

And why do you have elderberry
juice?

Don't ask.

♪ Ba ba ba ba

♪ Ba ba ba ba

♪ Ba ba ba ba ah ah

♪ Ba ba ah ah

♪ Ah ah

♪ Ba ba ah ah

♪ Ba ba ba

♪ Ba ah ah

♪ Ba ba ba