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1
00:00:06,144 --> 00:00:09,113
Hey, guys! How's it going?
So, check it out:
2
00:00:09,147 --> 00:00:11,248
Mom sent more photos
of possible beaches
3
00:00:11,284 --> 00:00:12,784
for this year's
family photo.
4
00:00:12,817 --> 00:00:15,586
So, wait, we're supposed
to go to a place we never go
5
00:00:15,621 --> 00:00:18,089
and put our arms around
each other like we never do,
6
00:00:18,124 --> 00:00:19,691
just to have a picture
we can send
7
00:00:19,726 --> 00:00:21,661
to people we don't like,
anyway?
8
00:00:21,695 --> 00:00:23,763
This year, there's a record
number of families
9
00:00:23,797 --> 00:00:25,064
we don't like
to send 'em to.
10
00:00:26,566 --> 00:00:28,968
Alex, the annual barefoot
family portrait on the beach
11
00:00:29,002 --> 00:00:32,305
is very important. I recently
started painting my toenails
12
00:00:32,339 --> 00:00:35,308
in the off chance that I could
get in this year's picture?
13
00:00:37,445 --> 00:00:40,414
Of course you can, Harper.
You're a Russo now.
14
00:00:40,448 --> 00:00:41,615
Oh, my gosh!
15
00:00:41,650 --> 00:00:44,352
What am I gonna wear?
'Cause this is so drab.
16
00:00:46,256 --> 00:00:48,590
I need something
that says Russo.
17
00:00:48,624 --> 00:00:50,191
Oh! I know. I'll wear
that dress
18
00:00:50,226 --> 00:00:52,361
that says "Russo"
all over it.
19
00:00:53,797 --> 00:00:59,535
That I happened to have made
before I ever knew you people.
20
00:01:00,671 --> 00:01:01,671
Duh!
21
00:01:09,448 --> 00:01:12,016
And this is us:
making an entrance!
22
00:01:12,051 --> 00:01:15,587
And this is us:
shaking an entrance!
23
00:01:17,490 --> 00:01:21,159
[singing]
And cue the applause!
24
00:01:23,831 --> 00:01:25,398
Mom? Dad?
25
00:01:26,467 --> 00:01:28,735
Please, buddy.
We weren't finished.
26
00:01:30,037 --> 00:01:32,071
Yeah, but my life is.
27
00:01:32,107 --> 00:01:35,009
up-tempo music playing]
28
00:01:39,949 --> 00:01:43,251
My name is Marty
I'm the pops of the Finkles
29
00:01:43,285 --> 00:01:46,588
And I'm Elaine
I'm the tops of the Finkles
30
00:01:46,622 --> 00:01:49,657
A dash of pizzazz
and a sprinkle of Finkle
31
00:01:49,692 --> 00:01:51,459
Is all that you will need
32
00:01:51,495 --> 00:01:53,362
To make this
whole night twinkle
33
00:01:53,397 --> 00:01:54,797
So, come one,
come all
34
00:01:54,831 --> 00:01:56,766
Give a snap
and a winkle
35
00:01:56,800 --> 00:02:02,338
For the smallest of all,
and my favorite Finkle
36
00:02:02,373 --> 00:02:03,907
[clearing throat]
37
00:02:03,942 --> 00:02:06,744
I don't want to.
38
00:02:08,746 --> 00:02:12,349
Please, buddy.
Come on!
39
00:02:14,788 --> 00:02:18,090
I'm Harper Finkle
the dinkiest Finkle
40
00:02:18,124 --> 00:02:19,558
More smiles,
sweets and cutes
41
00:02:19,592 --> 00:02:21,960
Than you
could ever thinkle
42
00:02:21,995 --> 00:02:27,833
Lights, camera, Finkle!
43
00:02:27,868 --> 00:02:31,371
And cue the applause
44
00:02:31,406 --> 00:02:33,441
[light clapping]
45
00:02:33,474 --> 00:02:37,777
Oh, you guys are so much
better than I remember.
46
00:02:41,283 --> 00:02:43,217
Well, you know everything's
gonna be a breeze
47
00:02:43,252 --> 00:02:45,320
That the end will no doubt
justify the means
48
00:02:45,354 --> 00:02:47,389
You can fix any problem
with the slightest of ease
49
00:02:47,423 --> 00:02:49,191
Yes, please
50
00:02:49,225 --> 00:02:50,959
But you might find out
it'll go to your head
51
00:02:50,994 --> 00:02:52,762
When you write a report
on a book you never read
52
00:02:52,796 --> 00:02:55,431
With the snap of your fingers
you can make your bed
53
00:02:55,466 --> 00:02:56,899
That's what I said
54
00:02:56,935 --> 00:03:00,070
Everything is not
what it seems
55
00:03:00,105 --> 00:03:04,074
When you can get all you
wanted in your wildest dreams
56
00:03:04,109 --> 00:03:07,711
You might run into trouble
if you go to extremes
57
00:03:07,746 --> 00:03:12,283
Because everything
is not what it seems
58
00:03:12,318 --> 00:03:15,587
Everything is not
what it seems
59
00:03:15,622 --> 00:03:19,758
When you can have what you
want by the simplest of means
60
00:03:19,793 --> 00:03:23,062
Be careful not to mess
with the balance of things
61
00:03:23,096 --> 00:03:26,298
Because everything is not
62
00:03:27,468 --> 00:03:29,436
What it seems
63
00:03:31,672 --> 00:03:33,406
Well, this is
certainly a surprise.
64
00:03:33,441 --> 00:03:34,774
You're tellin' me.
65
00:03:34,809 --> 00:03:36,576
Why aren't you guys
in Pittsburgh?
66
00:03:36,612 --> 00:03:38,079
Well, you'll be
pleased to know
67
00:03:38,113 --> 00:03:40,181
that we're here
to audition for a gig...
68
00:03:40,215 --> 00:03:43,050
...of the paid variety,
no less.
69
00:03:43,085 --> 00:03:45,786
That's great. 35 years
on the edge of show business
70
00:03:45,821 --> 00:03:47,622
has finally paid off.
71
00:03:47,657 --> 00:03:49,725
Paid off in spades.
72
00:03:49,759 --> 00:03:52,294
And diamonds and clubs
and hearts
73
00:03:52,329 --> 00:03:53,763
and the rest
of those jokers.
74
00:03:53,796 --> 00:03:55,531
We're aces, I tell ya!
75
00:03:55,566 --> 00:03:57,033
[giggling]
76
00:03:57,067 --> 00:03:58,902
Paid off
for you too, buddy.
77
00:03:58,936 --> 00:04:00,904
You're back in.
Just like the old days!
78
00:04:00,939 --> 00:04:03,107
Wait, stop. I can't work
a gig with you guys.
79
00:04:03,141 --> 00:04:04,708
I live here now.
80
00:04:04,743 --> 00:04:06,577
We're even putting her
in the family photo.
81
00:04:06,611 --> 00:04:10,581
We finally have enough
people for a human pyramid.
82
00:04:12,652 --> 00:04:14,085
Come on, buddy.
83
00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:16,321
The Finkles are gonna be
putting butts in the seats
84
00:04:16,355 --> 00:04:19,958
for Black Sea
Railways in Romania!
85
00:04:19,993 --> 00:04:23,629
Lights, camera, Finkle!
86
00:04:23,664 --> 00:04:25,064
In Romania!
87
00:04:27,034 --> 00:04:30,203
And cue the applause
88
00:04:31,940 --> 00:04:33,640
Sorry, that's
just really catchy.
89
00:04:34,809 --> 00:04:36,877
Wait. You can't just
waltz back into my life...
90
00:04:36,912 --> 00:04:39,681
Harper, can I talk
to you for a minute, please?
91
00:04:39,715 --> 00:04:41,849
- B-R-B.
- Gesundheit.
92
00:04:41,917 --> 00:04:43,551
Ah...
93
00:04:47,591 --> 00:04:50,226
OK, how can you not
want to go to Romania?
94
00:04:50,260 --> 00:04:52,294
Your parents are so fun.
95
00:04:52,329 --> 00:04:55,164
I mean, look at their ironic
clothes and hairstyles.
96
00:04:59,870 --> 00:05:01,871
It's not ironic, it's tragic.
97
00:05:01,906 --> 00:05:04,207
Where do they get
their sense of dress?
98
00:05:05,477 --> 00:05:07,878
OK, well, what about how
they make everything a joke?
99
00:05:07,913 --> 00:05:09,914
Yeah, try living with them
for a few years.
100
00:05:09,948 --> 00:05:12,483
He's been making fun of
how old I am since I was seven.
101
00:05:12,518 --> 00:05:14,152
Seven!
102
00:05:16,623 --> 00:05:18,290
We're really sorry
to take your little lady
103
00:05:18,324 --> 00:05:19,625
away from you like this.
104
00:05:20,561 --> 00:05:22,061
What are you talking about?
105
00:05:22,095 --> 00:05:23,929
Word on the street
is you two lovebirds
106
00:05:23,964 --> 00:05:25,832
are quite a big ticket item.
107
00:05:25,866 --> 00:05:28,134
Oh!
108
00:05:29,837 --> 00:05:31,404
Me and Harper?
109
00:05:31,439 --> 00:05:34,341
Uh, no, sorry.
Harper is dating Zeke.
110
00:05:34,376 --> 00:05:38,779
- Zeke Beakerman.
- Zeke Beak-erman? It rhymes!
111
00:05:38,813 --> 00:05:40,314
>[laughing]
112
00:05:40,349 --> 00:05:42,284
Must be a stage name.
113
00:05:42,318 --> 00:05:44,152
The last thing we need
is for our daughter
114
00:05:44,186 --> 00:05:46,655
to date another
"Johnny Stage Door."
115
00:05:46,689 --> 00:05:48,923
Being a couple of loose cannon,
undependable,
116
00:05:48,959 --> 00:05:49,959
showbiz-types
ourselves,
117
00:05:49,992 --> 00:05:51,893
we were hoping our daughter
118
00:05:51,928 --> 00:05:54,263
would wind up
with some nice, boring,
119
00:05:54,298 --> 00:05:56,232
accountable square
like yourself.
120
00:06:00,972 --> 00:06:02,172
Dad...
121
00:06:02,206 --> 00:06:04,007
Did they just call me
a boring square?
122
00:06:04,042 --> 00:06:07,177
Well, you are sort of...
a square.
123
00:06:07,212 --> 00:06:09,180
- Wha...?
- I mean that in the best way.
124
00:06:09,214 --> 00:06:11,149
- I...
- Like, you're not afraid to be yourself.
125
00:06:11,183 --> 00:06:13,685
You know... a boring square.
126
00:06:13,720 --> 00:06:17,056
Everyone thinks
I'm a boring square?
127
00:06:17,090 --> 00:06:19,525
>[scoffing, laughing]
128
00:06:19,559 --> 00:06:22,194
They are not going to believe
this down at the Hobby Shop.
129
00:06:22,228 --> 00:06:25,130
>[chuckling]
I can hear 'em laughing now.
130
00:06:29,404 --> 00:06:32,073
Finkles, I got
a question for you.
131
00:06:32,107 --> 00:06:35,209
Would you ever make your
kids take a lame family photo
132
00:06:35,243 --> 00:06:38,346
- while wearing the same
clothes? - It's not lame, Alex.
133
00:06:38,380 --> 00:06:40,214
It's a family tradition.
134
00:06:40,249 --> 00:06:42,084
The Finkles have a
family tradition, too.
135
00:06:42,117 --> 00:06:44,051
It's called,
whoever falls asleep first
136
00:06:44,120 --> 00:06:46,188
gets a mustache
drawn on your face.
137
00:06:46,222 --> 00:06:47,989
Guilty as charged!
138
00:06:48,024 --> 00:06:49,591
I'm a napper.
139
00:06:49,626 --> 00:06:52,161
You guys are awesome.
140
00:06:52,196 --> 00:06:54,831
If Harper doesn't want
to be in your act, I'll do it.
141
00:06:54,865 --> 00:06:56,532
Wow. You'll do anything
142
00:06:56,567 --> 00:06:58,334
to get out of realizing
your brother's dream
143
00:06:58,369 --> 00:07:01,237
of forming a family pyramid
in the sand, won't you?
144
00:07:01,272 --> 00:07:02,773
Pretty much.
145
00:07:04,242 --> 00:07:07,211
"Alex Finkle" sure
sounds swell to me.
146
00:07:07,245 --> 00:07:08,479
Is this OK with you, buddy?
147
00:07:08,514 --> 00:07:09,781
Well, I don't wanna do it.
148
00:07:09,815 --> 00:07:11,483
I'm really loving
being a Russo. Oh...
149
00:07:11,517 --> 00:07:13,785
Hey, can I be the top
of the human pyramid?
150
00:07:15,621 --> 00:07:17,789
Sold!
Welcome to the Finkles, buddy.
151
00:07:17,824 --> 00:07:19,492
Rehearsal's at one o'clock.
152
00:07:19,526 --> 00:07:22,395
And this is us
making an exit.
153
00:07:22,429 --> 00:07:27,066
>[up-tempo music playing]
154
00:07:27,100 --> 00:07:29,235
Hey, be sure to turn that
thing off when we're gone.
155
00:07:29,270 --> 00:07:31,104
Don't want to waste
the batteries!
156
00:07:37,179 --> 00:07:38,546
>[music clicks off]
157
00:07:39,648 --> 00:07:42,150
Well, Alex, that was...
158
00:07:42,185 --> 00:07:44,753
I don't think you know what
you're getting yourself into.
159
00:07:44,821 --> 00:07:46,288
I'll be fine. I mean...
160
00:07:46,322 --> 00:07:47,890
You like being a Russo so much,
161
00:07:47,924 --> 00:07:50,359
it'll be cool for me to try
and be a Finkle for awhile.
162
00:07:50,394 --> 00:07:53,830
- Do you even know
where Romania is? [scoffing]
163
00:07:53,864 --> 00:07:57,934
Yes. It's in Rome. Duh!
164
00:07:57,969 --> 00:07:59,937
I know my states.
165
00:08:01,039 --> 00:08:03,507
- She's right, you know.
- No, she's not.
166
00:08:03,542 --> 00:08:06,710
Thank you, Mr. and Mrs. D
in geography.
167
00:08:06,745 --> 00:08:10,281
Romania is a country
in Eastern Europe
168
00:08:10,316 --> 00:08:13,385
that's full of gymnasts
and vampires.
169
00:08:14,421 --> 00:08:15,922
Gymnasts and vampires?
170
00:08:15,955 --> 00:08:19,291
Maybe Justin can come with
and find a new girlfriend.
171
00:08:19,325 --> 00:08:21,726
Hey, I'm getting
the Finkle rhythm down.
172
00:08:21,762 --> 00:08:24,931
And cue the applause
173
00:08:34,043 --> 00:08:36,478
I don't know what to do about
Alex without Theresa here.
174
00:08:36,512 --> 00:08:38,513
I mean, Theresa always
tells me what to do.
175
00:08:38,547 --> 00:08:40,548
Well, can't you just
tell Alex she can't go?
176
00:08:40,583 --> 00:08:41,649
You're her Dad.
177
00:08:42,486 --> 00:08:44,420
[scoffing chuckle]
178
00:08:46,523 --> 00:08:48,691
Well, Dad, whatever
you tell her to do,
179
00:08:48,725 --> 00:08:50,226
she's just gonna do
the opposite.
180
00:08:50,261 --> 00:08:52,062
Unless she knows
what you're gonna do
181
00:08:52,095 --> 00:08:54,997
and then she'll do
the opposite of that.
182
00:08:55,031 --> 00:08:58,834
So, we gotta find something
that's not opposite.
183
00:09:01,373 --> 00:09:02,373
[scoffing chuckle]
184
00:09:04,076 --> 00:09:05,710
Max is right.
185
00:09:05,744 --> 00:09:08,346
We'll use reverse psychology.
We'll tell her she has to go,
186
00:09:08,380 --> 00:09:10,281
and then she won't want to.
187
00:09:10,316 --> 00:09:11,483
That could work.
188
00:09:12,619 --> 00:09:14,419
Good idea, Max.
Thanks for your help.
189
00:09:16,322 --> 00:09:19,324
Harper, Justin told me
what your parents said.
190
00:09:19,359 --> 00:09:20,659
And you don't have to worry.
191
00:09:20,694 --> 00:09:22,962
I'm going to turn myself
into the boring loser
192
00:09:22,996 --> 00:09:24,663
that your parents
want me to be.
193
00:09:26,568 --> 00:09:28,502
They didn't say
"boring loser."
194
00:09:29,804 --> 00:09:31,438
No, but they were
thinking it.
195
00:09:32,707 --> 00:09:34,842
Or at least I was.
196
00:09:36,211 --> 00:09:38,846
Why does everyone think
that I'm a boring loser?
197
00:09:38,881 --> 00:09:42,050
I am just as engaging
and entertaining as Zeke.
198
00:09:42,084 --> 00:09:44,920
Whoa, bro, not so fast.
199
00:09:44,954 --> 00:09:46,922
Are you the captain of three
different clogging teams?
200
00:09:46,957 --> 00:09:48,958
I don't think so!
201
00:09:48,992 --> 00:09:53,496
Oh, no! I didn't think about how
cool my clogging comes across.
202
00:09:53,530 --> 00:09:56,065
[groaning]
He is interesting!
203
00:09:58,736 --> 00:10:00,771
Zeke, wait.
Let's talk about this.
204
00:10:00,805 --> 00:10:03,440
No, no. If your parents
want me to change,
205
00:10:03,474 --> 00:10:04,708
then I'm gonna change.
206
00:10:04,742 --> 00:10:07,044
Starting today, I'm gonna
somehow suppress my urge
207
00:10:07,079 --> 00:10:10,348
to do a Double Stomp,
followed by the Mountain Goat.
208
00:10:10,382 --> 00:10:11,783
>[whimpering]
209
00:10:16,189 --> 00:10:19,692
All right. Later, Russos. This
Finkle's gotta get to rehearsal.
210
00:10:19,726 --> 00:10:22,561
Alex... I just wanted
you to know that
211
00:10:22,597 --> 00:10:26,299
we all want you to go
to Romania with the Finkles.
212
00:10:27,768 --> 00:10:28,969
OK. Love you. Bye.
213
00:10:32,340 --> 00:10:34,207
Dad, that wasn't opposite
enough.
214
00:10:34,242 --> 00:10:35,977
You should have
said something like:
215
00:10:36,011 --> 00:10:40,681
"We want you to go
to Finkles with Romania."
216
00:10:41,684 --> 00:10:43,619
[scoffing chuckle]
217
00:10:53,297 --> 00:10:55,898
Hey, guys, I thought of
something I can do in the act.
218
00:10:55,933 --> 00:10:57,333
Watch this.
219
00:10:57,368 --> 00:10:59,369
[simple drumroll plays]
220
00:11:01,072 --> 00:11:02,206
Pretty good, huh?
221
00:11:02,240 --> 00:11:04,308
I think it's gonna pull
the whole show together.
222
00:11:04,342 --> 00:11:05,843
>[drumroll plays]
223
00:11:07,412 --> 00:11:08,412
>[together] Hacky.
224
00:11:08,446 --> 00:11:10,347
And you're late for rehearsal,
buddy.
225
00:11:10,383 --> 00:11:12,150
Only a couple of minutes.
226
00:11:12,184 --> 00:11:15,453
Show biz minutes are a million
times more precious than regular people minutes.
227
00:11:16,857 --> 00:11:18,858
Sorry.
I didn't know.
228
00:11:18,892 --> 00:11:21,327
You guys are a lot more
serious than I thought.
229
00:11:21,361 --> 00:11:22,595
You wanna be part
of this outfit,
230
00:11:22,630 --> 00:11:24,464
you gotta fly on
the straight and narrow.
231
00:11:24,498 --> 00:11:26,532
You wanna be part
of this outfit, don't you?
232
00:11:28,302 --> 00:11:31,605
A couple of regular people
minutes ago I did.
233
00:11:32,507 --> 00:11:34,374
Well, you better decide,
234
00:11:34,410 --> 00:11:36,244
'cause this crazy
show biz shebang
235
00:11:36,278 --> 00:11:38,413
is a whole lot of
blood and sweat.
236
00:11:38,447 --> 00:11:40,748
But, if you do it right,
you get the laughs,
237
00:11:40,783 --> 00:11:44,719
you get the fame
and the moola!
238
00:11:46,322 --> 00:11:48,624
Well, fame and moola
sounds good.
239
00:11:48,658 --> 00:11:50,726
Actually, "moola"
sounds gross.
240
00:11:50,761 --> 00:11:53,363
Sounds something le
a French cow would say.
241
00:11:53,397 --> 00:11:55,999
"Moo-la-la."
242
00:11:56,867 --> 00:12:00,303
Yeah? Yeah? Nothing?
Really?
243
00:12:00,337 --> 00:12:01,604
You got moxie, buddy.
244
00:12:03,241 --> 00:12:05,176
In fact,
that's your new name...
245
00:12:05,210 --> 00:12:07,244
Moxie Finkle!
246
00:12:07,280 --> 00:12:09,614
Try it on for size.
Walk it around a bit.
247
00:12:10,983 --> 00:12:14,519
"Moxie?"
Sounds like a dog's name.
248
00:12:14,554 --> 00:12:16,655
What's next?
Do I get my own squeaky toy?
249
00:12:16,689 --> 00:12:19,024
Too much lip.
That's it. She's out!
250
00:12:19,059 --> 00:12:22,061
Aw, come on, Marty.
Give the rookie a break.
251
00:12:22,096 --> 00:12:24,130
Nope. I'm done with her.
252
00:12:24,164 --> 00:12:26,532
Sorry, I tried.
Hit the road.
253
00:12:26,568 --> 00:12:30,904
And if you hurry, you might make
that little family photo shoot.
254
00:12:30,939 --> 00:12:33,173
Smile big, sad clown.
255
00:12:34,343 --> 00:12:35,844
Looks like we've
gotta replace her.
256
00:12:35,877 --> 00:12:37,578
Hey, buddy,
how about telling Harper
257
00:12:37,613 --> 00:12:40,548
- to hightail it over here.
- Harper?
258
00:12:40,583 --> 00:12:42,884
She's kind of happy
not doing this.
259
00:12:42,919 --> 00:12:45,254
Harper doesn't care
about being happy.
260
00:12:45,287 --> 00:12:47,689
Harper cares about
making other people happy.
261
00:12:47,724 --> 00:12:50,459
She's a Finkle!
262
00:12:52,562 --> 00:12:55,831
All right...
I'll be Moxie Finkle.
263
00:12:55,867 --> 00:12:58,668
Well, as long as we know
who's calling the shots now,
264
00:12:58,703 --> 00:13:00,170
let's get back
to business.
265
00:13:00,204 --> 00:13:03,607
We only got this place booked
for nine more hours.
266
00:13:03,642 --> 00:13:06,744
- What? Nine hours?
- Yeah.
267
00:13:06,779 --> 00:13:08,446
It's gonna take you
at least six hours
268
00:13:08,480 --> 00:13:10,248
to learn how to
play the ukulele.
269
00:13:10,283 --> 00:13:13,519
And two more to do it
while you're juggling.
270
00:13:13,553 --> 00:13:16,455
That only leaves one hour
to learn all your lines.
271
00:13:18,692 --> 00:13:21,895
Homework? I thought this
was gonna be fun.
272
00:13:31,716 --> 00:13:34,895
OK, Alex on the Way Home,
If we don't come up with a new plan quick,
273
00:13:35,430 --> 00:13:37,532
she's gonna be ending every
sentence for the rest of her life with:
274
00:13:37,565 --> 00:13:40,734
And cue the applause!
275
00:13:42,571 --> 00:13:45,773
Theresa won't like me even more
if her family picture is ruined
276
00:13:45,807 --> 00:13:50,044
because one of her family
members is living on a train in Romania.
277
00:13:50,079 --> 00:13:53,215
And not the family member
she'd be OK with.
278
00:13:58,689 --> 00:14:00,456
I'm telling Justin.
279
00:14:03,194 --> 00:14:05,663
OK, what would Theresa
do in this situation?
280
00:14:05,697 --> 00:14:08,666
Well... Mom and Alex
usually have these
281
00:14:08,700 --> 00:14:11,335
heart-to-heart girl-talk
kind of things by themselves.
282
00:14:11,370 --> 00:14:13,204
Out on the terrace.
That's where they do it.
283
00:14:13,238 --> 00:14:15,005
You're right again, Max.
284
00:14:15,041 --> 00:14:17,008
And since you're so good
at filling in for Mom,
285
00:14:17,043 --> 00:14:18,243
why don't you do that?
286
00:14:19,513 --> 00:14:20,780
Why not Harper?
She's a girl.
287
00:14:20,813 --> 00:14:24,950
Oh... Harper's been completely
useless in this situation.
288
00:14:28,189 --> 00:14:31,391
I'd be upset, but you saying
that to my face like that...?
289
00:14:31,426 --> 00:14:33,927
It makes me feel like
I'm part of this family.
290
00:14:34,929 --> 00:14:35,862
[door opening]
291
00:14:35,897 --> 00:14:38,065
[groaning] I'm exhausted.
292
00:14:38,099 --> 00:14:41,101
All right, here she is.
Go girl-talk it up.
293
00:14:43,973 --> 00:14:45,106
Alex?
294
00:14:46,408 --> 00:14:49,344
Can I talk to you
out on the terrace, please?
295
00:14:53,850 --> 00:14:55,484
Well, that's weird, so yeah.
296
00:15:03,427 --> 00:15:07,063
Come on. You and Mom
usually stand over here
297
00:15:07,099 --> 00:15:08,899
and look out
over the city.
298
00:15:13,905 --> 00:15:16,207
So listen, mija,
299
00:15:16,242 --> 00:15:18,977
when we were saying you should
go to Romania before,
300
00:15:19,012 --> 00:15:20,879
we were really saying
you shouldn't go.
301
00:15:20,913 --> 00:15:23,448
Max, I know. Reverse psychology.
I got it.
302
00:15:23,484 --> 00:15:25,284
Right. So, now I'm saying
you shouldn't go.
303
00:15:25,318 --> 00:15:27,486
I'm not. I already decided
how I'm getting of it.
304
00:15:27,521 --> 00:15:29,555
- So, you're not going?
- No.
305
00:15:30,324 --> 00:15:31,658
Oh, I got you.
306
00:15:31,693 --> 00:15:34,662
>[chuckling] So you're using
reverse psychology on me.
307
00:15:34,696 --> 00:15:36,463
No, I'm really not going.
308
00:15:36,498 --> 00:15:38,298
The more you say
you're not going,
309
00:15:38,333 --> 00:15:40,200
the more I know
you actually are going.
310
00:15:42,905 --> 00:15:43,972
Good talk, Max.
311
00:15:45,808 --> 00:15:48,009
But wait, Alex, we were
supposed to hug now.
312
00:15:50,981 --> 00:15:53,683
My little girl is
growing up so fast.
313
00:15:53,717 --> 00:15:55,418
What happened? What happened?
314
00:15:55,452 --> 00:15:57,853
She went upstairs and
didn't tell us what she's doing.
315
00:15:57,888 --> 00:16:01,757
Well, she's going.
She's definitely going.
316
00:16:01,793 --> 00:16:05,829
- She didn't even hug me.
- Oh, no.
317
00:16:05,863 --> 00:16:07,664
What are we gonna do now?
318
00:16:07,700 --> 00:16:09,867
Well, I've lived with you
Russos for some time now
319
00:16:09,901 --> 00:16:11,501
and it seems like most
of your problems
320
00:16:11,537 --> 00:16:13,137
are solved right after chaos.
321
00:16:13,172 --> 00:16:15,540
So, maybe that's what we
should do. We need chaos.
322
00:16:15,575 --> 00:16:16,942
>[together] Right.
323
00:16:16,975 --> 00:16:19,744
Chaos could blow
the audition for Alex.
324
00:16:19,779 --> 00:16:22,681
See, she's not
that useless.
325
00:16:22,716 --> 00:16:24,516
Aw, thanks for the compliment.
326
00:16:24,552 --> 00:16:26,886
I can hear you when you when
you do the... that, yeah.
327
00:16:35,997 --> 00:16:39,400
Did Alex get into
Mommy's makeup again?
328
00:16:41,636 --> 00:16:43,070
OK, good, so it's working.
329
00:16:43,105 --> 00:16:46,240
I'm off to go blow my audition.
It's go time or no time!
330
00:16:47,910 --> 00:16:49,911
Why would you sabotage
the audition?
331
00:16:49,946 --> 00:16:52,013
Because I don't want to go
to Romania anymore.
332
00:16:52,049 --> 00:16:54,584
Oh, so you'd rather
be a Russo than a Finkle?
333
00:16:54,618 --> 00:16:56,252
I know. Weird, right?
334
00:16:57,321 --> 00:17:00,356
Turns out the Finkles
really stink-le.
335
00:17:00,391 --> 00:17:01,458
>[chuckles]
336
00:17:02,727 --> 00:17:04,461
All right, well,
now it's a toss up.
337
00:17:05,663 --> 00:17:08,766
The truth is, if I don't go,
Harper has to go.
338
00:17:08,801 --> 00:17:11,669
And I don't want her to leave.
So, the only solution is
339
00:17:11,704 --> 00:17:13,438
to ruin it so nobody can go.
340
00:17:13,471 --> 00:17:17,040
Well, if there is one thing
you're really good at, it's ruining things.
341
00:17:17,077 --> 00:17:18,778
Aw, thank you.
342
00:17:22,949 --> 00:17:27,753
And the smallest of all
and my favorite Finkle...
343
00:17:29,256 --> 00:17:30,689
>[not singing]
I'm Alex Finkle.
344
00:17:32,293 --> 00:17:34,494
>[both whispering]
Moxie Finkle.
345
00:17:35,697 --> 00:17:37,331
I'm Moxie Finkle...
346
00:17:37,365 --> 00:17:40,000
...the smallest of all,
and my favorite Finkle.
347
00:17:41,304 --> 00:17:42,805
>[muttering]
I just said that part.
348
00:17:44,507 --> 00:17:46,675
Oh, I'm sorry.
349
00:17:46,708 --> 00:17:50,578
Am I messing this up in front
of the Romanian producers?
350
00:17:50,613 --> 00:17:52,915
Gymnast and vampire,
figures.
351
00:17:54,984 --> 00:17:57,619
Why don't we just quit
while we're ahead?
352
00:17:57,654 --> 00:18:00,055
Well, looks like somebody
fried their old brain
353
00:18:00,090 --> 00:18:02,392
watching too much of
the old boob tube.
354
00:18:02,426 --> 00:18:04,327
[laughing]
355
00:18:04,362 --> 00:18:07,364
That's not all she fried.
Get a load of that crazy 'do.
356
00:18:07,399 --> 00:18:08,999
Who does your
hair and make-up, Moxie,
357
00:18:09,035 --> 00:18:11,002
a near-sighted
orangutan?
358
00:18:11,036 --> 00:18:13,904
>[laughing]
359
00:18:13,939 --> 00:18:18,342
This is the perfect comedy
for our train!
360
00:18:18,377 --> 00:18:19,978
The people will love it.
361
00:18:20,013 --> 00:18:21,681
">[chuckling]
362
00:18:21,714 --> 00:18:24,049
What?
No, no, no!
363
00:18:24,084 --> 00:18:26,252
I've gotta get out of here
before they put me on a train.
364
00:18:29,690 --> 00:18:32,992
- What are you doing?
- Proving to the Finkles that I am not a boring square.
365
00:18:33,027 --> 00:18:35,495
I am exciting!
366
00:18:35,530 --> 00:18:37,097
I'm gonna use
the "Ham It Up" spell.
367
00:18:38,399 --> 00:18:40,234
Tell some jokes
all old and clammy.
368
00:18:40,269 --> 00:18:42,737
Then make me act
all bold and hammy.
369
00:18:48,979 --> 00:18:50,112
>[swallowing]
370
00:18:54,017 --> 00:18:56,185
>[piano music playing]
371
00:18:57,888 --> 00:18:59,388
>[humming] Ha!
372
00:19:01,826 --> 00:19:03,226
Hello there, Finkles.
373
00:19:03,261 --> 00:19:05,262
Mind if I "choo" up
little scenery?
374
00:19:05,297 --> 00:19:06,397
>[together] Justin?
375
00:19:06,430 --> 00:19:08,899
A-choo, a-choo, a-choo,
and a-choo!
376
00:19:08,934 --> 00:19:10,268
>[chuckling]
377
00:19:10,302 --> 00:19:12,169
Would you guys get
a load of these two?
378
00:19:12,204 --> 00:19:15,039
I mean seriously,
their act stinks so bad,
379
00:19:15,073 --> 00:19:17,541
onions cry when
they watch it.
380
00:19:17,577 --> 00:19:20,679
- Am I right, Romanians?
[laughing]
381
00:19:21,615 --> 00:19:23,449
Aw, Justin! What is this?
382
00:19:23,483 --> 00:19:25,417
Boy, was I wrong about you.
383
00:19:25,452 --> 00:19:27,887
Yeah, quit stealing our thunder.
You're gonna ruin our audition.
384
00:19:29,090 --> 00:19:30,324
Oh, really?
385
00:19:31,625 --> 00:19:34,093
Then, let's ruin it
some more.
386
00:19:36,498 --> 00:19:37,531
>[swallowing]
387
00:19:39,935 --> 00:19:42,569
A one, a two, a one, two, three!
388
00:19:43,339 --> 00:19:45,273
[piano music playing]
389
00:19:45,308 --> 00:19:47,776
Hey, everybody, I haven't
seen an act this bad
390
00:19:47,810 --> 00:19:50,145
since my brother starred
in Vida Romania.
391
00:19:50,179 --> 00:19:51,780
[laughing]
392
00:19:51,815 --> 00:19:54,150
Oh, Moxie, not you, too?
393
00:19:55,986 --> 00:19:59,255
All right,
time to create chaos.
394
00:20:00,058 --> 00:20:01,725
I'll throw the first tomato.
395
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:05,562
Shh. Wait. Listen.
396
00:20:05,597 --> 00:20:07,198
Do you smell that?
I smell ham.
397
00:20:07,231 --> 00:20:10,567
>[sniffing] Spiral cut,
hind quarter.
398
00:20:10,602 --> 00:20:13,504
Probably on sale. This way.
399
00:20:15,641 --> 00:20:17,976
- Hey, brother o' mine?
- What's up, sissy-poo?
400
00:20:18,011 --> 00:20:19,345
I'll tell you what's down.
401
00:20:19,379 --> 00:20:21,347
Stocks on those two
knuckleheads right here.
402
00:20:21,381 --> 00:20:23,916
- Sell, sell, sell!
[laughing]
403
00:20:23,950 --> 00:20:26,719
-
Bo-bo-bo-bo
-
Ba-ba-ba-ba
404
00:20:26,753 --> 00:20:30,322
[all singing randomly]
405
00:20:32,560 --> 00:20:33,827
[panting]
406
00:20:33,862 --> 00:20:36,330
Say, Doc,
what's wrong with me?
407
00:20:36,365 --> 00:20:40,301
- You got two weeks to live!
- Oh, no. I want a second opinion.
408
00:20:40,335 --> 00:20:42,536
All right.
You're ugly, too.
409
00:20:42,571 --> 00:20:44,138
>[all laughing]
410
00:20:46,743 --> 00:20:48,276
Ow, ow!
411
00:20:48,311 --> 00:20:52,180
Stop! Stop this
perfect train comedy!
412
00:20:52,216 --> 00:20:54,150
We've made a decision.
413
00:20:54,184 --> 00:20:58,721
You won a job with
the Black Sea Railways!
414
00:21:00,458 --> 00:21:02,426
Well, this is some
kind of rigmarole.
415
00:21:02,459 --> 00:21:06,095
Yeah. These two goofballs
just high-jacked our set.
416
00:21:06,132 --> 00:21:08,366
Oh, not to worry, Finkles.
417
00:21:08,400 --> 00:21:11,235
We have another
gig available...
418
00:21:11,269 --> 00:21:14,772
...in Youngstown, Ohio!
419
00:21:14,807 --> 00:21:16,608
- We'll be in touch.
[gasping]
420
00:21:16,642 --> 00:21:18,243
Did you hear that?
421
00:21:18,278 --> 00:21:22,081
- Nobody's better than us.
- How do you like that?
422
00:21:22,115 --> 00:21:25,918
Ah. That took a lot less
chaos as I thought it would.
423
00:21:25,953 --> 00:21:28,755
I'm sorry, Finkles.
I'm dating your daughter.
424
00:21:28,790 --> 00:21:29,929
I'm not dating you.
425
00:21:30,225 --> 00:21:33,927
So, tonight, I'm expressing
my love for Harper
426
00:21:34,163 --> 00:21:37,665
through the time-honored art
of the clog!
427
00:21:49,661 --> 00:21:51,996
I hope it's OK that I'm not
going to Youngstown with you.
428
00:21:52,030 --> 00:21:55,733
It sure is, buddy. We were wrong
to make you do that before.
429
00:21:55,768 --> 00:21:58,003
We can see now that
you got a real sweet deal
430
00:21:58,037 --> 00:21:59,905
with these Russo characters.
431
00:21:59,939 --> 00:22:01,239
I sure do.
432
00:22:01,275 --> 00:22:03,542
And we got a sweet deal, too.
433
00:22:06,679 --> 00:22:08,513
See ya, buddy.
434
00:22:08,548 --> 00:22:11,150
And this is us...
making an exit.
435
00:22:11,184 --> 00:22:12,985
[up-tempo music plays]
436
00:22:13,021 --> 00:22:16,690
Ah, show business!
437
00:22:22,897 --> 00:22:24,665
[music clicking off]
438
00:22:24,700 --> 00:22:26,434
That was weird.
439
00:22:26,484 --> 00:22:31,034
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