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1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:02,700
I've prepared something...
I'm not saying that!
2
00:00:02,900 --> 00:00:04,000
Can she just stop that now?
3
00:00:04,075 --> 00:00:06,115
Do I need to look at the camera?
4
00:00:06,275 --> 00:00:08,715
Offers on everything
from booze to biscuits!
5
00:00:08,875 --> 00:00:10,995
Red-hot deals.
Loads of two-for-ones!
6
00:00:11,115 --> 00:00:12,995
Don't forget the Valco tick!
7
00:00:13,115 --> 00:00:14,675
That way?
8
00:00:14,835 --> 00:00:16,915
Tick. And I'm not doing
that tick thing either!
9
00:00:17,035 --> 00:00:18,195
Am I getting paid for this?
10
00:00:19,275 --> 00:00:21,588
Valco! Serves you right!
11
00:00:21,636 --> 00:00:24,435
Valco, serves you right!
12
00:00:29,955 --> 00:00:33,435
Oh, it was so funny.
And they were all yellow!
13
00:00:33,555 --> 00:00:35,995
Yes, I-I-I've seen it before.
14
00:00:36,155 --> 00:00:39,275
Oh, and one of the little ones,
he had a skateboard.
15
00:00:39,435 --> 00:00:42,795
Oh, I don't normally like new things
but... I wish you'd have seen it.
16
00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:46,515
Uh-huh? The Simpsons has actually
been around for some time.
17
00:00:46,635 --> 00:00:48,235
My Alan was in tears.
18
00:00:48,395 --> 00:00:51,195
He's been on the phone to
everybody since last night.
19
00:00:51,355 --> 00:00:53,195
"You've got to watch it!",
he's telling them.
20
00:00:53,315 --> 00:00:54,315
"You've got to watch it!"
21
00:00:54,475 --> 00:00:57,395
Like I say, it's been
on television since 19...
22
00:00:57,515 --> 00:00:58,475
Really?
23
00:00:58,595 --> 00:00:59,635
"D'oh!"
24
00:01:01,435 --> 00:01:06,635
I'd like to say, er, what
I say to all Valco new recruits.
25
00:01:06,755 --> 00:01:09,275
Erm, there'll be tough times ahead.
26
00:01:09,435 --> 00:01:11,795
Times when you want to cry.
27
00:01:11,955 --> 00:01:14,995
There'll be times when you just
want to jack it all in and go home.
28
00:01:15,155 --> 00:01:17,115
What if we're already
come to that time...?
29
00:01:17,275 --> 00:01:20,835
But if you pull through,
and put in your all,
30
00:01:20,995 --> 00:01:24,555
this job can be the most
rewarding job you will ever have.
31
00:01:24,675 --> 00:01:26,275
Now, who's with me?
32
00:01:33,275 --> 00:01:36,555
Have you heard the news?
Load of new starters.
33
00:01:36,675 --> 00:01:38,555
We're talking about fresh meat.
34
00:01:38,715 --> 00:01:43,115
Really? Yeah. All those girls.
Scared, vulnerable, confused.
35
00:01:43,235 --> 00:01:45,035
They're like, "What is going on?"
36
00:01:45,195 --> 00:01:48,475
They need someone, right,
to help them out.
37
00:01:48,635 --> 00:01:50,635
Guaranteed to get
your leg over, mate.
38
00:01:50,795 --> 00:01:52,555
Oh, my Alan's having
a lot of trouble
39
00:01:52,675 --> 00:01:54,475
getting his leg over at the minute.
40
00:01:54,635 --> 00:01:58,315
He strains away for ages,
gets all red-faced.
41
00:01:58,475 --> 00:02:04,115
I keep saying to him, "Get a smaller
bike!" Oh! Oh! Thank goodness.
42
00:02:04,275 --> 00:02:07,475
So, you think I might have
a chance with these new starters?
43
00:02:07,595 --> 00:02:08,955
It's guaranteed, mate.
44
00:02:12,035 --> 00:02:13,955
This could be my lucky day.
45
00:02:14,075 --> 00:02:15,315
Ouch!
46
00:02:15,475 --> 00:02:18,395
Ah-huh. Ah, I appear to have
cut my finger quite badly.
47
00:02:20,155 --> 00:02:21,755
Ooh! It's empty.
48
00:02:24,315 --> 00:02:26,115
'So there you have it.'
49
00:02:26,275 --> 00:02:30,075
Now you know everything there is
to know about working at Valco.
50
00:02:30,235 --> 00:02:32,755
Would you like any Pop Tarts
to go with your shopping, madam?
51
00:02:32,915 --> 00:02:36,515
Yes, please. I'd like two from
the top and four from the bottom.
52
00:02:39,155 --> 00:02:42,035
Also, I'd like one of these books.
53
00:02:42,155 --> 00:02:44,395
They really are amazing.
54
00:02:44,515 --> 00:02:46,155
Great stuff there, Carol.
55
00:02:46,315 --> 00:02:49,355
You have certainly helped me
understand a few conundrums!
56
00:02:49,515 --> 00:02:52,275
Less of the jokes, Gavin.
I've got your "number".
57
00:02:53,555 --> 00:02:57,955
So that brings to an end,
er, your Valco training video.
58
00:02:58,115 --> 00:03:01,875
To use a sailing analogy -
are you with me, shipmates?
59
00:03:01,995 --> 00:03:04,115
Let's serve them right!
60
00:03:05,235 --> 00:03:08,315
So, there we have it, er,
slightly dated but, er,
61
00:03:08,435 --> 00:03:10,195
I think you get the message.
62
00:03:10,355 --> 00:03:13,755
Stop it. I can't help it.
Are you OK? Yeah.
63
00:03:13,875 --> 00:03:16,075
Something in our throats.
64
00:03:16,195 --> 00:03:17,395
So, um, any questions?
65
00:03:18,515 --> 00:03:21,755
Yes, er... Rose, is it?
What's your question?
66
00:03:21,915 --> 00:03:25,635
That awful man in the video
made me feel really sick.
67
00:03:25,755 --> 00:03:27,755
W-well t-that was me.
68
00:03:27,875 --> 00:03:29,235
And I can tell you,
69
00:03:29,395 --> 00:03:33,595
I won't be going in for any of that
"serves you right" rubbish.
70
00:03:33,715 --> 00:03:35,075
So, what's next?
71
00:03:42,955 --> 00:03:44,515
Do you have a prescription
to pick up?
72
00:03:44,675 --> 00:03:46,635
No, just my shopping.
On your way.
73
00:03:48,995 --> 00:03:51,275
Gavin. Gavin. Gavin!
74
00:03:51,435 --> 00:03:52,955
Brian! What is it?
I'm run off my feet.
75
00:03:53,035 --> 00:03:54,835
Have you thought any more
about my assistant?
76
00:03:54,955 --> 00:03:56,435
People keep trying to buy food here.
77
00:03:56,595 --> 00:03:58,435
Well, just put it through
the tills, Brian.
78
00:03:58,595 --> 00:04:01,115
I'm a highly trained medic.
What does it say on the sign?
79
00:04:01,275 --> 00:04:03,235
Brian's Pharmacy,
not Brian's Grocery shop.
80
00:04:03,395 --> 00:04:05,875
It just says "Pharmacy". Yes,
I need to talk to you about that.
81
00:04:05,995 --> 00:04:07,075
My name should be up there,
82
00:04:07,235 --> 00:04:09,275
but we can sort that once
you've found my assistant.
83
00:04:09,435 --> 00:04:11,555
Brian, I haven't got time
to find you an assistant.
84
00:04:11,715 --> 00:04:13,395
I need someone serious.
But not boring.
85
00:04:13,555 --> 00:04:16,355
Sense of humour's vital
in this game. Tall, too.
86
00:04:16,515 --> 00:04:18,355
Tall? There's a lot of
reaching up in this job.
87
00:04:18,475 --> 00:04:20,915
And they have to be intelligent.
I've got a lot of knowledge -
88
00:04:21,075 --> 00:04:23,035
someone who can keep up
with my brain.
89
00:04:23,195 --> 00:04:26,275
I'll just drop Stephen Fry
a call, see if he fancies it.
90
00:04:26,435 --> 00:04:28,795
A bit unlikely, Gavin,
he's a very busy man.
91
00:04:28,915 --> 00:04:30,555
Shame, though, he would be perfect.
92
00:04:30,715 --> 00:04:33,155
Oh, what the hey - give him a ring,
there's no harm in trying.
93
00:04:33,235 --> 00:04:35,475
Brian, I'm going to need...
94
00:04:35,595 --> 00:04:36,995
Margaret, just the ticket.
95
00:04:37,195 --> 00:04:39,395
How do you fancy being Brian's
assistant for the day?
96
00:04:40,915 --> 00:04:42,515
Ooh. Great. There you go.
97
00:04:42,675 --> 00:04:44,675
I'll look into getting you
a full-time assistant
98
00:04:44,795 --> 00:04:46,835
when I am less busy. Happy? Good.
99
00:04:48,115 --> 00:04:49,955
She's barely five foot.
100
00:04:50,075 --> 00:04:51,555
Oh, how exciting.
101
00:04:52,835 --> 00:04:54,635
I've always wanted to be a nurse.
102
00:04:56,395 --> 00:05:00,355
Question.
What does a shoplifter look like?
103
00:05:00,515 --> 00:05:03,315
Why are you asking me?
I haven't stolen anything.
104
00:05:03,435 --> 00:05:04,835
N-no, I'm asking everyone.
105
00:05:04,995 --> 00:05:08,435
But you were looking at me,
singling out a little old lady.
106
00:05:08,555 --> 00:05:10,075
Calling me a thief.
107
00:05:10,195 --> 00:05:11,195
A drug addict!
108
00:05:12,835 --> 00:05:16,315
A shoplifter looks like you or me.
109
00:05:16,475 --> 00:05:19,715
What would you do if a shoplifter
looked exactly like you?
110
00:05:19,875 --> 00:05:23,355
Exactly like me? Well, then
you're into doppelganger territory.
111
00:05:23,515 --> 00:05:26,475
If they looked exactly like me,
I'd get out of there.
112
00:05:26,595 --> 00:05:28,195
But enough talk.
113
00:05:28,355 --> 00:05:30,755
I'm going to show you how
to stop an attacker.
114
00:05:30,915 --> 00:05:33,515
I want one of you to come at me.
Don't be afraid, I am...
115
00:05:33,635 --> 00:05:37,275
Aargh!
116
00:05:37,435 --> 00:05:40,395
That wasn't very good, was it?
You didn't stop me at all.
117
00:05:40,555 --> 00:05:42,995
- Shall we have another try?
- No.
118
00:05:46,675 --> 00:05:47,955
What do you reckon, Lise?
119
00:05:48,115 --> 00:05:51,515
If you were a new starter, look
at him, would you go for this?
120
00:05:51,635 --> 00:05:53,115
I'd need a few drinks first.
121
00:05:54,475 --> 00:05:57,035
Maybe I should try something else.
122
00:05:57,195 --> 00:06:01,475
Lisa, what did you used to look
for in a man when you were single?
123
00:06:01,595 --> 00:06:03,315
A pulse.
124
00:06:03,435 --> 00:06:04,915
Yeah, she was a slapper.
125
00:06:05,075 --> 00:06:08,275
Yeah, I was. Don't laugh.
She was. No, I was.
126
00:06:08,395 --> 00:06:10,835
Oh! Here dey come.
127
00:06:10,955 --> 00:06:12,235
Get yourself ready, mate,
128
00:06:12,395 --> 00:06:14,595
you're gonna be filling
your boots by lunchtime.
129
00:06:14,715 --> 00:06:16,355
Any lookers in there? Look-lookers?!
130
00:06:16,475 --> 00:06:18,195
Come on, Nev!
131
00:06:18,355 --> 00:06:20,795
You can't play at
Wembley every day, mate.
132
00:06:20,955 --> 00:06:22,915
No. Be nice to get
my boots on, though.
133
00:06:24,235 --> 00:06:25,835
Oh, hello, ladies.
134
00:06:25,955 --> 00:06:27,595
There's an older lady there too.
135
00:06:27,755 --> 00:06:30,835
What do you think, Colin?
Probably my upper ceiling, age-wise.
136
00:06:30,955 --> 00:06:32,515
Still, you know what they say?
137
00:06:32,635 --> 00:06:34,155
The older the berry...
138
00:06:34,315 --> 00:06:36,115
the sweeter the juice.
Shut up, Neville!
139
00:06:36,235 --> 00:06:37,795
What's up with you? Shut up!
140
00:06:40,275 --> 00:06:43,795
No way. Cauliflower!
141
00:06:43,955 --> 00:06:46,715
Nana! What the fu...
Why are you here?
142
00:06:46,835 --> 00:06:48,475
I was starting today! Oh, yeah!
143
00:06:48,635 --> 00:06:50,755
I thought it would be good
to get out of the house.
144
00:06:50,875 --> 00:06:52,675
I miss my little soldier!
145
00:06:52,835 --> 00:06:55,675
I've been so lonely
since you two moved out.
146
00:06:55,795 --> 00:06:57,835
Now, where is he? Here.
147
00:06:57,955 --> 00:06:59,555
Where's my little soldier?
148
00:06:59,675 --> 00:07:01,995
Little soldier reporting for duty.
149
00:07:02,115 --> 00:07:03,675
Did you miss me and all?
150
00:07:03,835 --> 00:07:06,835
Oh, yeah. It's very different
without you there.
151
00:07:06,955 --> 00:07:08,035
That smell's gone.
152
00:07:08,155 --> 00:07:09,835
Turns out it wasn't the drains.
153
00:07:11,115 --> 00:07:14,835
Oh, how many times?
Tuck your shirt in!
154
00:07:14,955 --> 00:07:16,195
Not in front of everyone, Nana!
155
00:07:16,355 --> 00:07:18,035
Don't be a fussy bear,
no-one's looking.
156
00:07:18,155 --> 00:07:20,315
What do you mean no-ones looking?
157
00:07:20,475 --> 00:07:21,995
Now have you had a wee?
Of course I...!
158
00:07:22,115 --> 00:07:23,195
Of course, I have!
159
00:07:23,215 --> 00:07:24,275
Of course I've had a wee.
160
00:07:24,435 --> 00:07:27,195
Right, come on, we've still got
half the store to show you.
161
00:07:35,635 --> 00:07:36,955
It could be jaundice.
162
00:07:37,115 --> 00:07:39,875
Or liver problems,
they both lead to yellow skin.
163
00:07:40,035 --> 00:07:42,395
They didn't look ill.
You said they had yellow skin.
164
00:07:42,555 --> 00:07:45,835
You tell this Mr Simpson to get
checked out. Are they local?
165
00:07:45,955 --> 00:07:47,355
No, I think he's American.
166
00:07:51,115 --> 00:07:52,315
Are you married, Brian?
167
00:07:52,435 --> 00:07:54,075
Yep. 18 years.
168
00:07:54,195 --> 00:07:55,795
Ooh, she's a lot younger than you.
169
00:07:55,955 --> 00:07:58,275
No, no.
We've been married for 18 years.
170
00:07:58,395 --> 00:07:59,915
She's a doctor.
171
00:08:00,075 --> 00:08:02,635
Ooh! It's no big deal
being a doctor.
172
00:08:02,795 --> 00:08:06,195
It's a very important job!
So's being a pharmacist.
173
00:08:06,355 --> 00:08:08,995
I can save 300 lives
a day at this counter.
174
00:08:09,155 --> 00:08:12,315
A doctor saves - what - four, five
tops then goes for a round of golf.
175
00:08:12,435 --> 00:08:13,635
They're lazy.
176
00:08:13,795 --> 00:08:16,315
Well, what about Dr Who?
He doesn't seem lazy.
177
00:08:16,435 --> 00:08:18,355
Time Lord, not a real doctor.
178
00:08:18,515 --> 00:08:21,755
No, the best thing I ever did
was fail medical school.
179
00:08:21,915 --> 00:08:25,835
Otherwise I'd just be another
lazy doctor like my wife.
180
00:08:25,955 --> 00:08:27,995
Or my brother.
181
00:08:28,115 --> 00:08:29,515
Or my other brother.
182
00:08:29,635 --> 00:08:30,995
His kids.
183
00:08:31,115 --> 00:08:32,195
My mum and dad.
184
00:08:32,355 --> 00:08:34,595
Are all your family doc...?
Doctors. Yes.
185
00:08:36,715 --> 00:08:40,675
So, er, are you seeing
anyone at the minute?
186
00:08:40,795 --> 00:08:42,635
I think I might be a bit old for ya.
187
00:08:42,795 --> 00:08:45,555
It's all right. I like a car
with a few miles on the clock.
188
00:08:45,675 --> 00:08:46,715
Cooee!
189
00:08:46,835 --> 00:08:48,115
Colin!
190
00:08:48,275 --> 00:08:50,315
Come on, come and sit with your nan.
OK!
191
00:08:52,755 --> 00:08:55,475
Sorry, Lisa, not really room.
192
00:08:55,595 --> 00:08:57,355
Why don't you sit somewhere else?
193
00:08:57,475 --> 00:08:58,835
Yeah. Fine there, thanks.
194
00:09:00,355 --> 00:09:01,915
Bloody hell, Gavin,
where's the fire?
195
00:09:02,075 --> 00:09:04,035
I'm stretched like a rubber
band at the minute.
196
00:09:04,195 --> 00:09:05,835
I'm even having to eat
my lunch on the hop
197
00:09:05,915 --> 00:09:08,235
and I hate eating jacket
potatoes on the hop.
198
00:09:08,395 --> 00:09:10,755
When's, erm,
Julie's replacement starting?
199
00:09:10,915 --> 00:09:13,635
Oh, you know, that-that's
just the thing, really -
200
00:09:13,795 --> 00:09:15,715
I-I-I still really want
to promote from within.
201
00:09:15,875 --> 00:09:17,835
Are you sure that neither
of you want to apply?
202
00:09:17,955 --> 00:09:19,595
Nah. Not worth the hassle.
203
00:09:19,715 --> 00:09:20,995
What about my Colin?
204
00:09:23,515 --> 00:09:25,715
That's a good one. I needed that.
205
00:09:26,875 --> 00:09:28,555
Can you imagine? It'd be a disaster!
206
00:09:28,675 --> 00:09:30,715
I don't see what's so funny, Gavin.
207
00:09:30,875 --> 00:09:34,035
Oh, well, it's just that...
Quiet, Gavin, I haven't finished.
208
00:09:34,155 --> 00:09:35,115
Oh, sorry.
209
00:09:35,275 --> 00:09:38,675
No, wait a minute, I-I'm...
My Colin's a wonderful boy.
210
00:09:38,835 --> 00:09:41,195
Yeah, wonderful, but I'm
not management material, Nan.
211
00:09:41,355 --> 00:09:44,675
You know, Gavin's right,
I'd be a rubbish boss.
212
00:09:44,835 --> 00:09:48,435
Don't listen to Gavin,
he's a bloody fool!
213
00:09:48,595 --> 00:09:51,475
Er... er, Rose, you are aware
that I am your manager?
214
00:09:51,595 --> 00:09:54,315
Of course I am, silly Gavin.
215
00:09:54,475 --> 00:09:58,195
You'd be perfect, little soldier.
Remember those two boys at school?
216
00:09:58,355 --> 00:10:00,675
Yeah. You were very good when
you were being their boss.
217
00:10:00,835 --> 00:10:03,555
Nah. That was bullying, though,
wasn't it, Nan? I bullied them.
218
00:10:03,675 --> 00:10:04,795
I got expelled.
219
00:10:04,915 --> 00:10:06,515
Because you were so good at it.
220
00:10:08,955 --> 00:10:12,235
Come on, Gavin,
you said it yourself -
221
00:10:12,355 --> 00:10:14,275
you want to promote from within.
222
00:10:14,395 --> 00:10:16,275
Colin is within. I'm not.
223
00:10:16,435 --> 00:10:18,595
Or are you going to go
back on your word?
224
00:10:18,715 --> 00:10:19,955
It's not really that simple.
225
00:10:20,115 --> 00:10:23,715
Because in my book,
that would make you a LIAR!
226
00:10:23,835 --> 00:10:25,475
Are you a liar, Gavin?
227
00:10:26,715 --> 00:10:28,555
I only came in for a jacket potato.
228
00:10:31,835 --> 00:10:34,075
There, what do you think, Dr Brian?
229
00:10:34,195 --> 00:10:35,555
Ooh, I'm sorry, Brian.
230
00:10:35,715 --> 00:10:39,155
I keep forgetting you're
not a doctor. It's fine.
231
00:10:39,315 --> 00:10:43,355
If it helps, you can call me
Dr Brian. I don't mind. Okey cokey.
232
00:10:44,715 --> 00:10:46,595
Dr Brian.
233
00:10:46,755 --> 00:10:49,315
What's the circle thing?
Oh, well, that's a pill.
234
00:10:49,475 --> 00:10:52,315
I thought it'd be nice to add
some pictures. And the squiggle?
235
00:10:52,435 --> 00:10:53,675
Oh, I tried to draw a headache.
236
00:10:53,835 --> 00:10:55,435
I don't know what
they look like, though.
237
00:10:55,555 --> 00:10:56,915
I do.
238
00:10:57,035 --> 00:10:59,195
Have you got a purple pen? Why?
239
00:10:59,355 --> 00:11:02,435
You can't draw a headache
without purple - medical fact.
240
00:11:06,755 --> 00:11:08,435
Well bored. Oh, me too.
241
00:11:09,795 --> 00:11:12,475
Can we play rollercoaster?
I've just sat down, Linda.
242
00:11:12,595 --> 00:11:14,155
Aw, come on, mate.
243
00:11:14,275 --> 00:11:16,275
All right. Yes!
244
00:11:16,395 --> 00:11:17,875
You ready? Yep!
245
00:11:18,035 --> 00:11:20,675
So... Chugga-chugga-chugga...
We're coming out, right?
246
00:11:20,835 --> 00:11:23,755
Chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-chugga-
chugga-chugga-chugga...
247
00:11:23,915 --> 00:11:26,275
We're going up, right!
We're up! We're up!
248
00:11:26,395 --> 00:11:29,515
We're up! Yay! Argh! Whoo!
249
00:11:29,675 --> 00:11:32,155
There you go!
250
00:11:37,835 --> 00:11:39,235
Can we go again? Oh, for...!
251
00:11:39,355 --> 00:11:40,915
This is mental, Gavin.
252
00:11:41,035 --> 00:11:43,315
I'm not a management type.
253
00:11:43,475 --> 00:11:45,835
Yes, it does seem a rather
terrible idea, I must say.
254
00:11:45,995 --> 00:11:47,995
Still, you must have
some potential in you.
255
00:11:48,115 --> 00:11:49,235
I don't think I do.
256
00:11:49,395 --> 00:11:51,835
No. Admittedly, it is
a bit of a long shot.
257
00:11:51,955 --> 00:11:53,995
Argh! How do you do these?!
258
00:11:54,115 --> 00:11:56,515
Can you not tie a tie?
259
00:11:56,675 --> 00:11:59,395
No. All my court
ones are clip-ons, innit?
260
00:11:59,515 --> 00:12:01,835
Right. There you go! There.
261
00:12:02,915 --> 00:12:04,155
Looking, er...
262
00:12:05,355 --> 00:12:06,595
..there.
263
00:12:07,995 --> 00:12:10,995
Oh, Gavin, I look like a loser.
Why are we doing this?
264
00:12:11,115 --> 00:12:13,275
I actually don't know, Colin.
265
00:12:13,395 --> 00:12:15,195
She's very persuasive, your nan.
266
00:12:16,475 --> 00:12:17,755
And frightening.
267
00:12:24,700 --> 00:12:27,300
Can I go on my break now?
Why are you asking me?
268
00:12:27,348 --> 00:12:29,348
Er, you are management now,
aren't you? Yeah.
269
00:12:29,591 --> 00:12:31,031
I am. And no.
270
00:12:31,151 --> 00:12:32,471
Noooo!
271
00:12:32,825 --> 00:12:35,065
You get back to work now, young man.
272
00:12:35,225 --> 00:12:37,585
No break for you!
And don't eyeball me.
273
00:12:37,705 --> 00:12:38,705
OK.
274
00:12:44,465 --> 00:12:45,905
Oh...
275
00:12:46,025 --> 00:12:47,505
Come on. Come on.
276
00:12:47,625 --> 00:12:50,265
There you go. All right. Go on.
277
00:12:51,865 --> 00:12:54,985
Kiss him! I-I really don't want to.
It's an order.
278
00:12:55,105 --> 00:12:56,545
Kiss him.
279
00:13:00,345 --> 00:13:01,465
Kiss him!
280
00:13:03,905 --> 00:13:07,505
Oi, kid. I'm gonna need
40 quid out your till.
281
00:13:07,625 --> 00:13:08,785
Quick. C'mon.
282
00:13:08,905 --> 00:13:10,105
Aaaah. 50. Is this...
283
00:13:10,225 --> 00:13:12,265
I'm going to have to take 50.
284
00:13:12,385 --> 00:13:13,905
Here's your beer, sir.
285
00:13:14,065 --> 00:13:16,025
I demanded this
five minutes ago, Neville.
286
00:13:16,185 --> 00:13:17,825
Go and kiss the
massive baker again.
287
00:13:17,945 --> 00:13:20,065
Yes, sir. Yep.
288
00:13:20,185 --> 00:13:22,145
Oh!
289
00:13:22,265 --> 00:13:24,745
Oh... NEVILLE!
290
00:13:24,865 --> 00:13:26,305
Colin? 'ello!
291
00:13:26,425 --> 00:13:28,145
I don't like working on the tills.
292
00:13:28,305 --> 00:13:30,425
Er...
Do you want to work on here instead?
293
00:13:30,545 --> 00:13:31,865
But we work here.
294
00:13:31,985 --> 00:13:33,305
Oooooh! Not any more!
295
00:13:37,345 --> 00:13:38,545
Scab.
296
00:13:38,665 --> 00:13:41,265
Ah! Watch your language, missy.
297
00:13:41,385 --> 00:13:43,385
I'm the boss now.
298
00:13:43,505 --> 00:13:45,105
I could have you on a disciplinary.
299
00:13:45,265 --> 00:13:48,225
Oh, yeah? You gonna tell me off
then, boss man? Yeah, I am.
300
00:13:48,385 --> 00:13:50,745
Cos if you step out
of line one more time,
301
00:13:50,865 --> 00:13:53,145
I'm going to "come" down on you,
302
00:13:53,265 --> 00:13:54,345
like a tonne of bricks.
303
00:13:54,505 --> 00:13:56,785
That's shame, cos I've been
chewing gum at my till.
304
00:13:56,905 --> 00:13:58,465
Isn't that against the rules?
305
00:13:58,585 --> 00:14:01,105
Yes, it is.
306
00:14:01,225 --> 00:14:03,305
You're a naughty girl, Lisa.
307
00:14:03,425 --> 00:14:04,945
I'll have to discipline you.
308
00:14:07,265 --> 00:14:08,985
My office. Now.
309
00:14:14,785 --> 00:14:16,505
Oh! Ahoy, Captain Gavin.
310
00:14:16,625 --> 00:14:17,985
Oh, aho... Hello.
311
00:14:18,145 --> 00:14:21,225
Have you seen Colin anywhere?
No. Sorry, Captain Gavin.
312
00:14:23,105 --> 00:14:26,505
This is a customer
services announcement from Rose -
313
00:14:26,665 --> 00:14:30,185
did anyone see last night's
episode of Emmerdale?
314
00:14:30,345 --> 00:14:33,305
If so could they please come
and tell me what happened.
315
00:14:33,425 --> 00:14:35,505
Lamb of God!
316
00:14:35,625 --> 00:14:38,105
To the lady in the very short skirt.
317
00:14:38,225 --> 00:14:39,945
Yes, you!
318
00:14:40,065 --> 00:14:41,545
Please, cover up a bit more!
319
00:14:41,705 --> 00:14:45,545
Nobody's going to buy the cow if
they're getting the milk for free.
320
00:14:45,705 --> 00:14:49,865
Rose, the Tannoy is
for store business only.
321
00:14:50,025 --> 00:14:54,265
Well, look at her!
I can practically see her bread box.
322
00:14:54,425 --> 00:14:57,265
Rose, what on Earth are you
doing here anyway?
323
00:14:57,385 --> 00:14:58,785
Where's Linda and Sue?
324
00:14:58,945 --> 00:15:03,025
Colin told me I'd be better off
here rather on those silly tills,
325
00:15:03,145 --> 00:15:04,865
so here I am.
326
00:15:04,985 --> 00:15:06,465
It's exciting, isn't it?
327
00:15:06,625 --> 00:15:10,505
No. Frankly, I-I-I don't know
what on Earth Colin was thinking.
328
00:15:10,625 --> 00:15:13,025
He's thinking like a manager.
329
00:15:13,185 --> 00:15:17,185
Hmmm. Well, I think it's about time
perhaps Colin and I had a word.
330
00:15:17,305 --> 00:15:19,465
Now, stay here for now,
331
00:15:19,585 --> 00:15:20,905
but no more Tannoy.
332
00:15:25,585 --> 00:15:28,225
Did anyone see Emmerdale?
333
00:15:37,305 --> 00:15:38,785
Is somebody clapping?
334
00:15:41,185 --> 00:15:43,385
Howl at the moon!
335
00:15:46,465 --> 00:15:48,585
Gavin! Gavin, Gavin, Gavin!
336
00:15:48,745 --> 00:15:50,665
Look, sorry, Gavin.
Wasn't expecting ya.
337
00:15:50,785 --> 00:15:52,705
Yeah, soz, Gav.
338
00:15:52,825 --> 00:15:55,225
Ohhhh...
339
00:15:55,385 --> 00:15:59,465
Does this mean I'm not going
to be deputy manager any more?
340
00:15:59,585 --> 00:16:01,865
Yes, it absolutely does, Colin.
341
00:16:02,025 --> 00:16:05,265
What was I thinking? My nan is not
gonna be happy about this, man.
342
00:16:05,425 --> 00:16:07,706
Yes, I think I'm going to have
a little word with your nan
343
00:16:07,825 --> 00:16:08,985
and let her know who's boss.
344
00:16:09,105 --> 00:16:10,105
Fair enough.
345
00:16:10,265 --> 00:16:13,665
But Gavin, you go easy on her,
otherwise I'll have to smack ya!
346
00:16:13,825 --> 00:16:15,785
Cos she's my nan.
347
00:16:18,305 --> 00:16:22,025
Do you want your tie back?
Absolutely not! Burn it! Ooop!
348
00:16:27,105 --> 00:16:28,465
How you doing? Bored.
349
00:16:28,625 --> 00:16:30,985
How's your... you know?
My nads? Killing.
350
00:16:31,105 --> 00:16:32,385
She really belted them.
351
00:16:33,705 --> 00:16:37,745
Problem is, I can't see if
there's any bruising or not.
352
00:16:37,905 --> 00:16:40,625
You wouldn't have a look for me,
would you? No.
353
00:16:40,745 --> 00:16:42,105
No. Fair enough.
354
00:16:42,265 --> 00:16:44,705
It doesn't help being
on my feet all day long.
355
00:16:44,865 --> 00:16:47,025
I know! I bet you wish you
had a wheelchair as well.
356
00:16:47,185 --> 00:16:49,465
You don't know how lucky you are,
sitting down all day.
357
00:16:49,625 --> 00:16:52,465
I know, some of us have
all the luck. Yeah!
358
00:16:52,625 --> 00:16:55,465
Then Chas Dingle and James
had a blazing row.
359
00:16:55,585 --> 00:16:57,425
No? Did they? Then what happened?
360
00:16:57,585 --> 00:16:59,905
Well, then, just as...
Rose. A word.
361
00:17:00,065 --> 00:17:03,465
In a minute, Gavin. Emmerdale.
My office!
362
00:17:03,585 --> 00:17:04,825
Now!
363
00:17:10,505 --> 00:17:12,785
Does it smell of drains in here?
364
00:17:12,945 --> 00:17:15,505
Now, Rose, what happened out
there was complete... But Gavin!
365
00:17:15,625 --> 00:17:16,665
No, you listen!
366
00:17:16,785 --> 00:17:18,025
I didn't say listen!
367
00:17:18,185 --> 00:17:20,305
Didn't you? I thought you did.
Sorry.
368
00:17:20,465 --> 00:17:22,625
Er, where was I?
Yes - now, look here, Rose!
369
00:17:22,785 --> 00:17:24,905
I am the manager
of this supermarket.
370
00:17:25,065 --> 00:17:26,665
You work for me!
I know that, Gavin.
371
00:17:26,825 --> 00:17:29,585
Now, I cannot have members
of my staff going behind my back
372
00:17:29,705 --> 00:17:30,825
and undermining me.
373
00:17:30,945 --> 00:17:32,505
Now, if you can't play by the rules,
374
00:17:32,665 --> 00:17:34,105
then I'm going
to have to let you go.
375
00:17:34,265 --> 00:17:36,025
Now d-d-d-do
we understand each other?
376
00:17:37,905 --> 00:17:39,905
I'm sorry! I can't hear you?!
377
00:17:40,025 --> 00:17:41,705
I said...!
378
00:17:43,265 --> 00:17:46,265
I'm just a useless, silly old woman!
379
00:17:46,425 --> 00:17:50,025
W-well, there's no need... no need
to cry, w-we all make mistakes.
380
00:17:50,145 --> 00:17:53,105
You were quite right to fire me!
381
00:17:54,865 --> 00:17:56,865
I-I-I-I shouldn't have
gone off all cock at you.
382
00:17:56,985 --> 00:17:58,745
Oh, this temper of mine!
383
00:17:58,865 --> 00:18:02,025
I'm sorry I was so rude to you!
384
00:18:02,185 --> 00:18:06,025
Well, maybe I've been
a bit of an ogre as well.
385
00:18:06,185 --> 00:18:09,025
What's say you tomorrow
we start again?
386
00:18:10,145 --> 00:18:14,385
Really? With you on the tills.
A clean slate.
387
00:18:14,505 --> 00:18:16,785
Oh. That sounds very acceptable.
388
00:18:16,905 --> 00:18:18,705
Thank you very much, Gavin.
389
00:18:18,825 --> 00:18:20,145
Isn't that better?
390
00:18:20,305 --> 00:18:23,865
Don't be so disgusting!
You sex beast! What?!
391
00:18:24,025 --> 00:18:26,465
By the way, I'm gonna be
two hours late tomorrow.
392
00:18:26,585 --> 00:18:27,905
I'm going to an auction.
393
00:18:34,105 --> 00:18:35,945
What's up?
394
00:18:36,105 --> 00:18:38,385
Oh, I just wanted to know
what we do about returns.
395
00:18:38,545 --> 00:18:41,105
Me and Sue usually sort them.
Why, what you got?
396
00:18:41,265 --> 00:18:44,465
My breath. You took it away
and I want it back.
397
00:18:44,585 --> 00:18:45,705
Oh, God!
398
00:18:47,425 --> 00:18:50,625
It's definitely a cold sore.
Any idea how you got it?
399
00:18:50,785 --> 00:18:53,785
I did kiss big Jack from
the bakery a few times.
400
00:18:56,905 --> 00:19:00,505
Ooh. Ah. Neville. That's a nasty
looking cold sore, isn't it?
401
00:19:00,665 --> 00:19:03,385
Right, Brian, Margaret,
how have you been getting along?
402
00:19:03,505 --> 00:19:05,065
Like a house!
403
00:19:05,225 --> 00:19:07,665
Wonderful. Well I'm glad that you
enjoyed your time here.
404
00:19:07,825 --> 00:19:09,625
Now, Brian, I've thought
about what you said
405
00:19:09,785 --> 00:19:13,225
and I have decided that maybe
perhaps a permanent assistant
406
00:19:13,385 --> 00:19:16,785
wouldn't be such a bad idea
and so this is Gregg.
407
00:19:16,905 --> 00:19:17,865
All right?
408
00:19:17,985 --> 00:19:19,625
Gregg?
409
00:19:19,745 --> 00:19:21,265
Well, he's young.
410
00:19:21,385 --> 00:19:23,105
But is he hungry?
411
00:19:23,265 --> 00:19:25,745
Er, I don't know.
Are you hungry, er, Gregg?
412
00:19:25,905 --> 00:19:28,025
A bit.
Well, let's see what you've got.
413
00:19:28,185 --> 00:19:30,785
Someone comes up to you complaining
of headaches and dizziness.
414
00:19:30,905 --> 00:19:31,905
What do you do?
415
00:19:32,065 --> 00:19:35,145
Ask them if they've been on any
medication. Could be a side effect.
416
00:19:35,265 --> 00:19:36,265
What if they've not?
417
00:19:36,425 --> 00:19:39,425
Then it's probably an ear infection,
nothing too serious.
418
00:19:39,545 --> 00:19:41,265
Good. Then again,
419
00:19:41,425 --> 00:19:45,105
it could be viral, migraine,
low blood sugar, stress...
420
00:19:45,225 --> 00:19:46,265
Yes, of course.
421
00:19:46,385 --> 00:19:47,865
Could be labyrinthitis.
422
00:19:48,025 --> 00:19:50,505
Isn't he great?
Gregg here is a medical student.
423
00:19:50,665 --> 00:19:52,465
He's going to be a doctor.
424
00:19:52,625 --> 00:19:54,945
Who knows, he may even be able
to teach you a thing or two!
425
00:19:55,065 --> 00:19:56,425
I want Margaret.
426
00:19:56,545 --> 00:19:57,785
Y-you what? She's perfect.
427
00:19:57,905 --> 00:19:59,585
And anyway, I've trained her up now.
428
00:19:59,745 --> 00:20:02,225
What about Gregg? He's wet behind
the ears, Gavin, look at him.
429
00:20:02,385 --> 00:20:04,505
I wouldn't trust him with my lunch,
let alone my life.
430
00:20:04,625 --> 00:20:06,505
No, Margaret's
the woman for the job.
431
00:20:06,665 --> 00:20:08,865
Well, as long as that's
all right with you, Margaret?
432
00:20:08,985 --> 00:20:10,865
Nurse Margaret. Fine.
433
00:20:11,025 --> 00:20:12,945
Come on, Gregg.
I'll get you on tins.
434
00:20:15,385 --> 00:20:17,625
Does that mean I can put
my name on the sign?
435
00:20:17,745 --> 00:20:19,025
Go on, then.
436
00:20:19,145 --> 00:20:21,465
Get that sign down!
437
00:20:21,585 --> 00:20:22,705
Get your ladder.
438
00:20:24,185 --> 00:20:25,505
Linda, call me.
439
00:20:26,865 --> 00:20:30,145
Come on, Gavin! You're supposed
to be giving me a lift home!
440
00:20:38,025 --> 00:20:41,425
Blue hair?
That doesn't sound healthy at all.
441
00:20:41,545 --> 00:20:43,945
They're so funny. "D'oh!"
442
00:20:43,995 --> 00:20:48,545
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