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1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:01,650
You can't beat our prices.
2
00:00:01,800 --> 00:00:02,760
Just stop that now.
3
00:00:02,840 --> 00:00:05,220
If you can get it cheaper,
I'll come round and cook it myself.
4
00:00:05,296 --> 00:00:06,296
Red hot deals.
5
00:00:06,376 --> 00:00:08,656
We've got offers on everything from
booze to biscuits.
6
00:00:08,736 --> 00:00:09,896
Loads of 2 for 1s.
7
00:00:09,976 --> 00:00:12,016
Service with a smile.
8
00:00:12,096 --> 00:00:13,096
We have fresh produce.
9
00:00:13,176 --> 00:00:14,256
Grown locally.
10
00:00:14,336 --> 00:00:15,936
Don't forget the Valco tick.
That way.
11
00:00:16,016 --> 00:00:18,056
Am I getting paid for this?
Valco. I wasn't ready.
12
00:00:18,136 --> 00:00:19,376
When are you ready?
13
00:00:19,456 --> 00:00:20,656
Valco, serves you right.
14
00:00:20,736 --> 00:00:23,456
Valco, serves you right.
15
00:00:33,136 --> 00:00:36,016
Colin, do you ever, do you ever,
think about the environment?
16
00:00:36,096 --> 00:00:38,656
Yeah, I think about the environment.
I think it's a shit hole.
17
00:00:38,736 --> 00:00:41,396
I watched a documentary last
night about how all the penguins'
18
00:00:41,446 --> 00:00:42,406
homes are melting.
19
00:00:42,409 --> 00:00:45,089
This documentary wasn't called
Happy Feet by any chance was it?
20
00:00:45,169 --> 00:00:46,649
I can't remember what it's called
21
00:00:46,729 --> 00:00:49,449
but they said there's not enough
ice for the penguins to stand on.
22
00:00:49,529 --> 00:00:50,489
The world's got too hot.
23
00:00:51,609 --> 00:00:53,249
The world getting hot isn't
a problem.
24
00:00:53,329 --> 00:00:55,609
Hot equals birds, tiny tops...
25
00:00:58,369 --> 00:01:01,489
But if the penguins go first Colin,
we'll be next.
26
00:01:01,569 --> 00:01:02,729
I mean, maybe polar bears.
27
00:01:02,809 --> 00:01:05,689
But I don't want my home to melt,
my mum will go mad. What would my mum do?
28
00:01:05,769 --> 00:01:08,569
Alright alright.
I'll, er I'll get rid of this.
29
00:01:09,809 --> 00:01:12,169
Oh yeah nice! Are you going to put
it out for recycling?
30
00:01:12,249 --> 00:01:14,089
Nah, I'll use it as bog roll, mate.
31
00:01:14,169 --> 00:01:15,689
Try and half-flush it.
32
00:01:22,809 --> 00:01:25,249
Save power. Save the planet.
33
00:01:27,809 --> 00:01:30,609
So come on, you've got a time
machine and a gun with one bullet in it.
34
00:01:30,689 --> 00:01:31,689
What are you going to do?
35
00:01:31,769 --> 00:01:34,449
Er, shoot you
and escape in the time machine.
36
00:01:34,529 --> 00:01:36,929
I tell you what I'd do,
go back to the Jurassic era,
37
00:01:37,009 --> 00:01:39,129
pick up some Velociraptor eggs.
38
00:01:39,209 --> 00:01:40,529
Make a fortune on eBay.
39
00:01:43,769 --> 00:01:46,209
My Alan's been doing my family tree.
40
00:01:46,289 --> 00:01:48,649
I never knew how many relatives I've
got.
41
00:01:48,729 --> 00:01:51,249
Very interesting, family trees.
I'm doing mine, off and on.
42
00:01:51,329 --> 00:01:53,209
How far back have you got?
Me Granddad.
43
00:01:53,289 --> 00:01:56,289
Well you'll never guess
what my Alan's discovered.
44
00:01:56,369 --> 00:02:00,009
He's found out that I'm related to
this fella. An Earl.
45
00:02:00,089 --> 00:02:01,249
Earl?
46
00:02:01,329 --> 00:02:03,369
Ooh. Look how many necklaces he's
wearing.
47
00:02:03,449 --> 00:02:05,049
Which Earl was he? Earl Gay?
48
00:02:06,289 --> 00:02:08,169
Hilarious.
49
00:02:08,249 --> 00:02:11,449
"Warm pillow and Muted Lime are this
year's must-have kitchen colours".
50
00:02:11,529 --> 00:02:14,049
What a load of bog. White and green.
51
00:02:14,129 --> 00:02:15,409
That's all it is.
52
00:02:16,489 --> 00:02:18,969
Sue? Are you OK?
53
00:02:19,049 --> 00:02:20,089
Yeah, fine.
54
00:02:20,169 --> 00:02:21,769
Is something up?
55
00:02:21,849 --> 00:02:23,969
I don't want to talk about it.
56
00:02:24,049 --> 00:02:25,449
It's not something bad is it?
57
00:02:25,529 --> 00:02:28,769
Oh you've not had a punch-up
in Marks and Sparks again, have ya?
58
00:02:28,849 --> 00:02:31,809
Look, keep it to yourself for now?
59
00:02:31,889 --> 00:02:34,529
I'm pregnant! Run that by me again.
60
00:02:34,609 --> 00:02:36,689
I'm pregnant. Up the duff.
61
00:02:36,769 --> 00:02:39,049
What, you're pregnant like,
you're having a baby?
62
00:02:39,129 --> 00:02:40,289
I'm not expecting a foal.
63
00:02:40,369 --> 00:02:43,329
Oh my God! Oh my God! Seriously?
64
00:02:43,409 --> 00:02:49,689
Brilliant news. We're
having a baby. Not right this minute but... Yay!
65
00:02:49,769 --> 00:02:53,809
Oh my God! Just don't tell anybody.
66
00:02:53,889 --> 00:02:55,849
Sorry! Oops.
67
00:02:59,489 --> 00:03:01,169
Oh er, Mrs Chain, sorry.
68
00:03:01,249 --> 00:03:03,929
Well, well, Forrest Gump.
What do you want, sunshine?
69
00:03:04,009 --> 00:03:06,329
I was wondering if there's any way we
could make the store
70
00:03:06,409 --> 00:03:09,169
more friendly to the environment
so all the penguins don't die.
71
00:03:09,249 --> 00:03:12,009
Listen, Sting, it's not your bastard
job to save the planet.
72
00:03:12,089 --> 00:03:13,609
It's your job to - what's his job?
73
00:03:14,849 --> 00:03:18,329
Oh er, he's a general...
worker... person.
74
00:03:18,409 --> 00:03:20,329
Yeah! I'm a General!
75
00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:22,969
It's your job to do your job
and not to get in my way.
76
00:03:23,049 --> 00:03:24,409
Comprende? OK.
77
00:03:26,369 --> 00:03:30,209
Listen Leighton, I know you mean
well, but please,
78
00:03:30,289 --> 00:03:33,929
if you can possibly help it,
promise me, never speak to
79
00:03:34,009 --> 00:03:37,009
Lorraine again. Right. Yes, Mum.
80
00:03:38,529 --> 00:03:41,089
Right then. Um vodkas on you.
Mixers on you.
81
00:03:41,169 --> 00:03:42,809
I'll get a few...
82
00:03:42,889 --> 00:03:44,329
Two seconds.
83
00:03:44,409 --> 00:03:45,569
Katie.
84
00:03:45,649 --> 00:03:46,609
Hi.
85
00:03:46,689 --> 00:03:49,249
I didn't know you worked here.
I don't want to broadcast it.
86
00:03:49,329 --> 00:03:51,169
Have you seen what I've got to wear?
87
00:03:51,249 --> 00:03:53,329
It's like something my gran'd do her
gardening in.
88
00:03:53,409 --> 00:03:55,289
Oh, I don't know.
I kind of like a woman in a...
89
00:03:55,369 --> 00:03:56,449
polyester uniform.
90
00:03:56,529 --> 00:03:59,329
The static electricity is
a bonus too.
91
00:03:59,409 --> 00:04:02,569
Ello. You a student as well then?
92
00:04:02,649 --> 00:04:05,369
Uh, yeah, I'm Stu. Hi.
93
00:04:05,449 --> 00:04:07,889
It's a good name for a student, that
- Stu.
94
00:04:09,209 --> 00:04:11,209
And it's like my favourite food.
95
00:04:11,289 --> 00:04:14,209
Stew. Yeah I love a hot stew.
96
00:04:17,009 --> 00:04:18,449
Right.
97
00:04:21,329 --> 00:04:23,569
Wow! Yeah!
98
00:04:23,649 --> 00:04:26,289
So are you coming tonight?
It's going to be pretty massive.
99
00:04:26,369 --> 00:04:28,809
Definitely.
And I plan on drinking A LOT.
100
00:04:28,889 --> 00:04:31,329
I don't even care it's a school
night. Check me, eh?
101
00:04:31,409 --> 00:04:33,769
Well we're going to stock up now.
102
00:04:33,849 --> 00:04:37,649
Sorry I took so long,
I got attacked by a box of Kit Kats.
103
00:04:37,729 --> 00:04:40,649
It sort of slid off the shelf,
knocked me back into
104
00:04:40,729 --> 00:04:42,089
a stack of Toblerones.
105
00:04:42,169 --> 00:04:44,289
I mean,
they're sharper than you'd think.
106
00:04:44,369 --> 00:04:47,249
Still - think I've, I've got
most of my vision back now.
107
00:04:48,809 --> 00:04:50,529
I'll catch you later.
108
00:04:50,609 --> 00:04:52,489
See ya.
109
00:04:52,569 --> 00:04:54,809
Is it bruised?
No!
110
00:04:54,889 --> 00:04:57,609
It feels like it's broken the skin.
111
00:04:59,369 --> 00:05:01,049
Andy? Have you got a minute?
112
00:05:01,129 --> 00:05:02,529
Bit busy at the moment, Margaret.
113
00:05:02,609 --> 00:05:04,129
It's just I've been thinking,
114
00:05:04,209 --> 00:05:07,849
if this Earl is rich
I might inherit lots of land.
115
00:05:07,929 --> 00:05:10,729
Ooh, how would I keep it tidy
though?
116
00:05:10,809 --> 00:05:12,489
Yeah, bit busy at the moment,
Margaret.
117
00:05:12,569 --> 00:05:13,769
There's your smoked ham...
118
00:05:13,849 --> 00:05:17,169
My Alan's got two pair of gardening
gloves but that won't be enough, would it?
119
00:05:17,249 --> 00:05:20,049
Still a bit busy at the moment,
Margaret. That's the turkey breast.
120
00:05:20,129 --> 00:05:21,769
What if there's a manor house, Andy?
121
00:05:21,849 --> 00:05:23,289
How would I manage all the stairs?
122
00:05:23,369 --> 00:05:26,889
And... still a bit
busy at the moment, Margaret.
123
00:05:26,969 --> 00:05:29,089
Oh, I'm that bothered by it, I am.
124
00:05:29,169 --> 00:05:30,809
Anyway, I'll let you get on, Andy.
125
00:05:30,889 --> 00:05:33,089
I can see you're a bit
busy at the moment.
126
00:05:36,169 --> 00:05:38,929
Freezers must be on the blink.
127
00:05:39,009 --> 00:05:40,809
You gonna tell Julie or shall I?
128
00:05:40,889 --> 00:05:44,009
I'll do it. You need to take it
easy in your state.
129
00:05:44,089 --> 00:05:45,689
Congratulations!
130
00:05:45,769 --> 00:05:48,009
Ahh, thanks, Neville.
131
00:05:48,089 --> 00:05:51,289
Yes, I thought I'd say it with
flowers. Well, and actually say it.
132
00:05:51,369 --> 00:05:54,489
That's very thoughtful of you.
But it's not me that's pregnant, it's Sue.
133
00:05:54,569 --> 00:05:57,249
You'll have to get up
earlier than that to pull the wool
134
00:05:57,329 --> 00:05:58,569
over ol' Neville's eyes.
135
00:05:58,649 --> 00:06:01,649
We're not kidding.
I'm the pregnant one.
136
00:06:01,729 --> 00:06:05,169
Really? Right, right.
Bit unexpected that.
137
00:06:05,249 --> 00:06:06,289
Um...
138
00:06:07,689 --> 00:06:11,689
Would you mind giving the flowers to
Sue, it's just I can't afford,
139
00:06:11,769 --> 00:06:13,169
afford any more.
140
00:06:14,769 --> 00:06:16,489
Have you paid for these yet?
141
00:06:16,569 --> 00:06:19,169
Oh no, not yet. It's ?2.99 Is it?
142
00:06:19,249 --> 00:06:23,849
No, ?8.99. Ahh, really? Ahh....
143
00:06:23,929 --> 00:06:26,809
Sorry. I... Just going to...
144
00:06:26,889 --> 00:06:31,809
I need to just put these back on the
shelf.
145
00:06:35,489 --> 00:06:37,289
It's the thought that counts.
146
00:06:38,449 --> 00:06:40,569
What the hell were you thinking?
147
00:06:40,649 --> 00:06:43,529
I, I saw a programme last night
about our carbon footprints and...
148
00:06:43,609 --> 00:06:46,129
I'll give you a footprint, sunshine
- right up your backside!
149
00:06:46,209 --> 00:06:48,849
I think we can handle
this in a peaceful manner, Lorraine.
150
00:06:48,929 --> 00:06:51,169
Besides,
we can't talk to staff that way.
151
00:06:52,609 --> 00:06:53,809
Bloody Brussels!
152
00:06:53,889 --> 00:06:55,289
Listen, if we don't do something,
153
00:06:55,369 --> 00:06:57,169
all the polar bears are going
to drown.
154
00:06:57,249 --> 00:07:03,089
Did you really think that by turning
off the freezers you we're
155
00:07:03,169 --> 00:07:04,569
going to help save the planet?
156
00:07:08,729 --> 00:07:11,249
Yes.
157
00:07:11,329 --> 00:07:14,369
Julie. My office, now.
158
00:07:20,609 --> 00:07:23,649
And now she's convinced she's
going to inherit half of Warrington.
159
00:07:23,729 --> 00:07:25,289
She's wondering
if IKEA sell thrones.
160
00:07:25,369 --> 00:07:27,369
I wish I was related to
someone that was rich.
161
00:07:27,449 --> 00:07:29,769
Imagine never having to
work in a supermarket again.
162
00:07:29,849 --> 00:07:32,049
What if you were
related to the Sainsbury's family.
163
00:07:32,129 --> 00:07:33,529
They might make you a manager.
164
00:07:33,609 --> 00:07:34,609
Be just my luck.
165
00:07:36,729 --> 00:07:38,809
Hey, Kieran, this is Stu, my uni
friend.
166
00:07:38,889 --> 00:07:40,409
Nice to meet you mate,
how you doing?
167
00:07:40,489 --> 00:07:42,809
Um, so I was wondering what time you
were coming tonight?
168
00:07:42,889 --> 00:07:43,849
I guess around 9?
169
00:07:43,929 --> 00:07:45,969
Something tells me you'll be pissed
by half past.
170
00:07:46,049 --> 00:07:47,049
With any luck, yeah.
171
00:07:47,129 --> 00:07:49,529
It's a house party
so should be a laugh.
172
00:07:49,609 --> 00:07:50,609
Come along if you like.
173
00:07:50,689 --> 00:07:53,769
Erm... He doesn't want to come to
a student party. He hates students.
174
00:07:53,849 --> 00:07:55,969
Hey! You're a student. We get on.
175
00:07:56,049 --> 00:07:57,569
A bit.
176
00:07:57,649 --> 00:07:59,009
I don't hate students.
177
00:07:59,089 --> 00:08:01,809
Then come along then, man. Look it's
gonna be a massive piss up.
178
00:08:01,889 --> 00:08:03,089
Yeah, I guessed that.
179
00:08:03,169 --> 00:08:05,689
I've actually got a pass tonight.
Emma's out with her mates.
180
00:08:05,769 --> 00:08:08,809
Wow. A pass?
A whole night of freedom?
181
00:08:08,889 --> 00:08:11,569
Well, I'll text you
the address yeah? Yeah cool.
182
00:08:11,649 --> 00:08:13,649
I'll hopefully see ya there.
See ya.
183
00:08:13,729 --> 00:08:14,689
Take it easy.
184
00:08:16,489 --> 00:08:18,209
Seems nice. Yeah he is nice.
185
00:08:18,289 --> 00:08:19,969
For a student.
Whatever.
186
00:08:21,929 --> 00:08:24,129
You know the only one answer to
this, don't you? Yes.
187
00:08:24,209 --> 00:08:26,769
What is it? Some sort of safety
door on the freezers?
188
00:08:26,849 --> 00:08:28,929
No, you're going to sack the lad.
189
00:08:29,009 --> 00:08:31,569
Sack Leighton? No, we can't.
190
00:08:31,649 --> 00:08:33,489
He'd never get another job!
191
00:08:33,569 --> 00:08:36,649
Exactly, he's unemployable and we
are not going to carry him any more.
192
00:08:36,729 --> 00:08:38,649
It's the kindest thing to do.
193
00:08:38,729 --> 00:08:43,729
We have to ask ourselves, Lorraine,
is this what Gavin would want?
194
00:08:43,809 --> 00:08:47,969
No, Julie, we don't.
I am branch manager now.
195
00:08:48,049 --> 00:08:50,769
And I am going to make the tough
decisions that Gavin was too
196
00:08:50,849 --> 00:08:51,849
chicken to handle.
197
00:08:51,929 --> 00:08:54,649
That lad has had his chips -
and you can tell him.
198
00:08:54,729 --> 00:08:56,409
Don't you not think
it would be best... No.
199
00:08:56,489 --> 00:08:57,809
Coming from someone who... No.
200
00:08:57,889 --> 00:08:59,929
Hasn't known him so... No.
No?
201
00:09:01,969 --> 00:09:03,929
OK that's ?25.93.
202
00:09:05,129 --> 00:09:06,609
I've got the ninety three.
203
00:09:15,089 --> 00:09:17,449
86, 87...
204
00:09:20,649 --> 00:09:25,489
89... Sorry, thought I had it.
205
00:09:28,049 --> 00:09:29,689
I only meant to turn off the lights.
206
00:09:29,769 --> 00:09:35,049
Oh man, classic. Management
are sweating their tits off, mate.
207
00:09:35,129 --> 00:09:37,129
Oh no, don't worry about that..
It's my mess.
208
00:09:37,209 --> 00:09:42,769
No, no, no, no, no, no - you sit
back and watch your shit hit fans.
209
00:09:42,849 --> 00:09:43,849
Leighton.
210
00:09:43,929 --> 00:09:46,449
Oh Julie, let me
say something quickly.
211
00:09:46,529 --> 00:09:47,889
Leighton, of all the things to do!
212
00:09:47,969 --> 00:09:49,369
You blithering idiot!
213
00:09:49,449 --> 00:09:52,289
I only meant to turn
the lights off to save power.
214
00:09:52,369 --> 00:09:53,329
Am I in trouble?
215
00:09:55,089 --> 00:09:57,329
Oh just...
just, just come with me a minute.
216
00:10:00,769 --> 00:10:08,689
Leighton. Yes, Julie. Do you like
um... cream cakes?
217
00:10:08,769 --> 00:10:10,569
I love cream cakes!
218
00:10:10,649 --> 00:10:13,369
Great! Let's,
let's go get a cream cake...
219
00:10:19,489 --> 00:10:20,529
How's that one?
220
00:10:20,609 --> 00:10:23,649
It's really nice but why am
I getting free cakes? Has it gone off?
221
00:10:23,729 --> 00:10:26,169
Leighton... I don't mind
if it's passed it's sell-by date,
222
00:10:26,249 --> 00:10:27,769
the dates are always wrong anyway.
223
00:10:27,849 --> 00:10:29,409
Leighton, I've got some bad news...
224
00:10:29,489 --> 00:10:31,609
Although once, I did eat
a packet of crisps that were
225
00:10:31,689 --> 00:10:35,049
past their sell-by date and they had
turned into little biscuits. Leighton!
226
00:10:38,569 --> 00:10:41,209
What do you think you'd do if
you couldn't work at Valco?
227
00:10:44,249 --> 00:10:45,449
Couldn't work at Valco?
228
00:10:47,209 --> 00:10:51,129
Julie, I will work at Valco till the
day that I die.
229
00:10:51,133 --> 00:10:52,173
Scout's honour.
230
00:10:52,253 --> 00:10:56,453
God. Really? Don't you want to see
the world, Leighton?
231
00:10:57,733 --> 00:10:59,413
Other... supermarkets?
232
00:11:00,493 --> 00:11:02,853
No, I hate other supermarkets
actually.
233
00:11:02,933 --> 00:11:04,573
All the stuff's in different places.
234
00:11:04,653 --> 00:11:06,733
It's crazy. Why do you ask?
235
00:11:08,213 --> 00:11:13,093
Leighton, you did something really,
really unprofessional earlier
236
00:11:13,173 --> 00:11:16,653
and now um, now well er...
237
00:11:19,573 --> 00:11:20,973
you're fired.
238
00:11:26,493 --> 00:11:28,013
What?
239
00:11:28,093 --> 00:11:30,333
I'm sorry. I didn't know how to
break it to you.
240
00:11:30,413 --> 00:11:32,253
I've been preparing
you for the bad news.
241
00:11:32,333 --> 00:11:36,133
And well, er that's the bad news.
242
00:11:36,213 --> 00:11:38,453
I see.
243
00:11:38,533 --> 00:11:40,053
I'm only following orders.
244
00:11:40,133 --> 00:11:42,253
Lorraine says it's a you or me
situation - and...
245
00:11:42,333 --> 00:11:44,933
well, I'd rather it wasn't me.
246
00:11:45,013 --> 00:11:52,333
So the bad news is, that I'm fired?
And not that the cakes are off?
247
00:11:52,413 --> 00:11:56,853
Well, I can still come in in the day
and... help.
248
00:11:56,933 --> 00:12:01,333
Well... no. You're fired.
249
00:12:01,413 --> 00:12:03,093
Can I... can I keep the uniform?
250
00:12:03,173 --> 00:12:04,933
You'll have to give that back.
251
00:12:05,013 --> 00:12:06,773
Oh no please don't fire me
Julie, please.
252
00:12:06,853 --> 00:12:08,653
I don't have a choice, Leighton.
253
00:12:08,733 --> 00:12:12,453
You really messed up and well,
Lorraine...
254
00:12:12,533 --> 00:12:14,293
She makes the decisions here.
255
00:12:14,373 --> 00:12:15,933
Alright, I could work for free.
256
00:12:16,013 --> 00:12:19,613
Remember, like when I did
work experience? I can make my own badge that's not a problem.
257
00:12:19,693 --> 00:12:20,733
I'm sorry, Leighton.
258
00:12:20,813 --> 00:12:23,133
Please don't fire me
Julie, I haven't got anything else.
259
00:12:23,213 --> 00:12:24,573
I'm saving up for an aquarium.
260
00:12:24,653 --> 00:12:25,853
I'm sorry.
261
00:12:25,933 --> 00:12:30,333
I could um... I could...
262
00:12:30,413 --> 00:12:31,933
Sorry, Leighton.
263
00:12:32,013 --> 00:12:33,693
Please don't... I could um...
264
00:12:43,493 --> 00:12:45,893
Hey. I'm popular today.
265
00:12:45,973 --> 00:12:47,693
I didn't come to see you.
Where's Neville?
266
00:12:47,773 --> 00:12:49,493
Oh his eye keeps weeping.
267
00:12:49,573 --> 00:12:51,573
He's gone to dab it in the toilets.
268
00:12:52,653 --> 00:12:55,333
So, has Stu texted you the address?
For tonight?
269
00:12:55,413 --> 00:12:56,733
What? Er... yeah.
270
00:12:56,813 --> 00:12:59,773
But you're not seriously
thinking about going, are you?
271
00:12:59,853 --> 00:13:01,613
Why not? I like parties.
272
00:13:01,693 --> 00:13:03,613
Yeah but I'll be the only person
that you know.
273
00:13:03,693 --> 00:13:05,813
What, are you embarrassed or
something?
274
00:13:05,893 --> 00:13:07,333
No. Don't be daft.
275
00:13:07,413 --> 00:13:09,453
But you don't want me to go?
276
00:13:09,533 --> 00:13:15,773
No, as in, I don't not... not...
You know what I mean.
277
00:13:15,853 --> 00:13:19,293
No not really but -
don't worry about it.
278
00:13:19,373 --> 00:13:21,053
I've got to get back.
279
00:13:21,133 --> 00:13:22,453
Kieran.
280
00:13:27,613 --> 00:13:29,213
I heard your announcement.
281
00:13:29,293 --> 00:13:31,573
Yeah sorry about that,
I was just dead excited.
282
00:13:31,653 --> 00:13:34,013
Hey, a little babby?
I'm not made of stone!
283
00:13:34,093 --> 00:13:35,173
Congratulations.
284
00:13:35,253 --> 00:13:37,533
Thanks. It's me who's having it.
285
00:13:37,613 --> 00:13:40,773
Shitting hell, really? I mean,
congratulations to you.
286
00:13:44,693 --> 00:13:47,973
There we go, lovely bit of ham that.
It's like the pig was made of velvet.
287
00:13:48,053 --> 00:13:49,653
Ta. Ta-ta.
288
00:13:49,733 --> 00:13:51,893
Of course you know who I'm related
to, don't you?
289
00:13:51,973 --> 00:13:54,693
George Clooney? No, Tom Cruise?
Bet it's Tom Cruise, isn't it?
290
00:13:54,773 --> 00:13:56,253
Don't be so daft.
291
00:13:56,333 --> 00:13:58,333
Natasha Kaplinsky.
292
00:13:58,413 --> 00:14:01,093
Is there anyway we can install a lie
detector next to that mincer?
293
00:14:01,173 --> 00:14:03,333
No, it's true. We haven't seen each
other for years.
294
00:14:03,413 --> 00:14:04,973
She's embarrassed to be around me.
295
00:14:05,053 --> 00:14:07,893
Well I can see the truth in that.
No, it's professional jealousy.
296
00:14:07,973 --> 00:14:10,933
See, most of the news reports she
reads, it's stuff I already know.
297
00:14:11,013 --> 00:14:12,013
She can't take it.
298
00:14:12,093 --> 00:14:14,853
Is there at least one day where we
can have a normal conversation?
299
00:14:14,933 --> 00:14:18,293
Oh, I'm getting cold
feet about this royalty stuff.
300
00:14:18,373 --> 00:14:19,653
I like my life as it is.
301
00:14:19,733 --> 00:14:23,853
I don't want to live in a castle.
Oh, I'm all of a tizz, Andy.
302
00:14:23,933 --> 00:14:27,213
Oh. Let's have another
look at that picture.
303
00:14:33,213 --> 00:14:36,933
Well... Bone structure's the same.
What did you say his name was again?
304
00:14:37,013 --> 00:14:40,893
The fourth Earl of Warrington.
John... somebody.
305
00:14:40,973 --> 00:14:43,573
Oh alright, that's it,
I was gonna leave it till tonight's
306
00:14:43,653 --> 00:14:47,093
pub quiz to ask him, but sod it.
Let's get this sorted now. Ask who?
307
00:14:47,173 --> 00:14:49,893
History Pete, my friend.
History Pete.
308
00:14:49,973 --> 00:14:51,773
The finest brain in Warrington.
309
00:14:51,853 --> 00:14:54,133
Besides mine.
310
00:14:54,213 --> 00:14:56,213
He'll fix it. Yeah, course he will.
311
00:15:05,213 --> 00:15:07,613
I'm glad Gavin's not here to see
this mess.
312
00:15:07,693 --> 00:15:10,733
He'd quite literally have to
take a good sit down.
313
00:15:10,813 --> 00:15:14,413
So what's gonna happen to Leighton,
then?
314
00:15:14,493 --> 00:15:16,293
Is he going to get a proper
bollocking?
315
00:15:16,373 --> 00:15:17,333
Never you mind.
316
00:15:22,293 --> 00:15:25,373
Now, correct me if I'm wrong,
317
00:15:25,453 --> 00:15:27,893
but I recall giving you a direct
order earlier.
318
00:15:27,973 --> 00:15:29,293
I did! I did what you asked.
319
00:15:29,373 --> 00:15:33,853
Leighton is still stacking shelves.
Finish the job, Julie.
320
00:15:33,933 --> 00:15:34,893
Now.
321
00:15:38,573 --> 00:15:41,253
Just get this disaster under control.
322
00:15:43,893 --> 00:15:46,733
Why would Kieran want to
come to a student party anyway?
323
00:15:46,813 --> 00:15:47,853
He'd hate it.
324
00:15:47,933 --> 00:15:50,853
Oh, I dunno, I used to enjoy the odd
party during my student days, Katie.
325
00:15:50,933 --> 00:15:53,573
Yeah? I wouldn't have
you down as a party animal.
326
00:15:53,653 --> 00:15:55,453
Well, studies came first obviously.
327
00:15:55,533 --> 00:15:58,333
But once I got a term under my belt
I'd be in the pub having
328
00:15:58,413 --> 00:16:00,973
a drink all to myself.
329
00:16:01,053 --> 00:16:02,653
I bet you miss them days, don't you?
330
00:16:02,733 --> 00:16:06,853
Best days of my life.
And then I met my wife, ex-wife.
331
00:16:06,933 --> 00:16:10,053
She was a real firecracker,
let me tell you.
332
00:16:10,133 --> 00:16:12,213
Our first date, oh goodness me...
333
00:16:13,933 --> 00:16:15,373
Is your eye OK?
334
00:16:15,453 --> 00:16:16,613
Oh it's nothing,
335
00:16:16,693 --> 00:16:19,453
just that knock earlier just
set off an old stye problem.
336
00:16:19,533 --> 00:16:23,133
It's funny isn't it -
I'm crying.
337
00:16:24,333 --> 00:16:26,173
Excuse me.
Yes, please!
338
00:16:26,253 --> 00:16:28,293
Can I have a
bottle of vodka, please.
339
00:16:32,973 --> 00:16:34,853
Leighton?
340
00:16:34,933 --> 00:16:36,333
Please don't shout at me, Julie.
341
00:16:36,413 --> 00:16:38,613
I'm not going to shout at you,
Leighton. But...
342
00:16:38,693 --> 00:16:41,533
I am going to have to ask you to
put down that box of cereal.
343
00:16:42,733 --> 00:16:45,173
Gavin always said to finish
what I start,
344
00:16:45,253 --> 00:16:47,573
and I had already started
this before you terminated me.
345
00:16:47,653 --> 00:16:51,013
I'm sorry, but you have to go home.
346
00:16:51,093 --> 00:16:53,773
Please go, go
and clear out your locker.
347
00:16:55,533 --> 00:16:57,533
I'm sorry I let you down, Julie.
348
00:16:57,613 --> 00:16:59,853
And I hope Lorraine isn't
too nasty to you.
349
00:16:59,933 --> 00:17:01,773
Oh, why do you have to be
such an oaf.
350
00:17:18,013 --> 00:17:20,813
You know it seems daft a royal
working here.
351
00:17:20,893 --> 00:17:23,333
You'd never see Princess Anne
serving sausage rolls to
352
00:17:23,413 --> 00:17:24,693
people, would ya?
353
00:17:24,773 --> 00:17:27,453
Oh depends, Margaret. She might
if she was having a dinner party.
354
00:17:27,533 --> 00:17:29,173
Your worries are over, Maggy-moo.
355
00:17:29,253 --> 00:17:32,293
You're no more a royal than
this chump here.
356
00:17:32,373 --> 00:17:34,733
History Pete had the answer
at his fingertips, did he?
357
00:17:34,813 --> 00:17:37,733
Yes, in fact. Well, him
and Wikipedia.
358
00:17:37,813 --> 00:17:41,333
So I'm not a royal?
Oh what a relief!
359
00:17:41,413 --> 00:17:42,893
You most certainly are not.
360
00:17:42,973 --> 00:17:46,333
The fourth Earl of Warrington,
the Right Honourable John Woodham,
361
00:17:46,413 --> 00:17:47,373
was no royal.
362
00:17:47,453 --> 00:17:48,733
He was a bad egg.
363
00:17:48,813 --> 00:17:53,213
Knocked up his servants, drank
his estate away. Died penniless.
364
00:17:53,293 --> 00:17:56,293
I've a good mind to scribble him
off my tree altogether.
365
00:17:56,373 --> 00:17:58,293
Ha, you'd actually be
more royal
366
00:17:58,373 --> 00:18:00,533
if you were related to this chump.
367
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:01,693
Would you stop doing that?
368
00:18:01,773 --> 00:18:02,933
Alright!
369
00:18:03,013 --> 00:18:04,813
I must say,
being a royal wasn't for me.
370
00:18:04,893 --> 00:18:07,333
It was just too stressful.
371
00:18:07,413 --> 00:18:11,773
You know I can understand now
why the Queen doesn't smile on her stamps.
372
00:18:13,453 --> 00:18:16,133
So, are you going to
Katie's student party?
373
00:18:16,213 --> 00:18:18,573
Hey you could
turn your apron into a toga...
374
00:18:18,653 --> 00:18:21,333
I don't think
they have toga parties any more.
375
00:18:21,413 --> 00:18:23,253
Anyway, I don't know
if I can be arsed.
376
00:18:23,333 --> 00:18:27,253
Yeah, it's all skinny jeans
and bleepy music with that lot.
377
00:18:27,333 --> 00:18:29,333
You'd stand out like a sore bollock.
378
00:18:41,973 --> 00:18:45,013
Sorry. I shouldn't take it
so much to heart.
379
00:18:45,093 --> 00:18:48,293
First sacking's always the hardest.
I still remember mine.
380
00:18:48,373 --> 00:18:53,813
Habib, big Turkish lad. He turned
nasty, I had to get him an a head lock.
381
00:18:55,173 --> 00:18:58,573
I just find it sad having to
let people go.
382
00:18:58,653 --> 00:19:01,453
Powerful women like us,
we have to control our emotions.
383
00:19:01,533 --> 00:19:05,133
The only time I've let emotions get
the better of me was
384
00:19:05,213 --> 00:19:07,133
when I had to have my dog put down.
385
00:19:07,213 --> 00:19:10,533
And only because I had to do it
myself with a mallet.
386
00:19:10,613 --> 00:19:12,653
Oh, that's so sad.
387
00:19:12,733 --> 00:19:17,013
He looked at me before I did it,
his eyes were telling me
388
00:19:17,093 --> 00:19:19,173
'right thing to do, Lorraine'.
389
00:19:25,333 --> 00:19:28,653
Thank you for shopping at Valco.
Sorry. Thank you.
390
00:19:28,733 --> 00:19:31,173
Night.
Thank you for shopping at Valco.
391
00:19:36,653 --> 00:19:38,133
So you coming tonight then?
392
00:19:38,213 --> 00:19:40,893
Nah nah, you're alright, I'm er,
going to get a drink with Andy.
393
00:19:40,973 --> 00:19:43,533
Besides, you don't want me
there cramping your style, do you?
394
00:19:43,613 --> 00:19:45,453
What? No, you wouldn't do.
I meant like...
395
00:19:45,533 --> 00:19:46,493
I'm only kidding.
396
00:19:46,573 --> 00:19:49,813
Anyway I can't go getting trashed
on a school night like you young 'uns, can I?
397
00:19:49,893 --> 00:19:52,493
'Young 'uns'. We're the same age.
398
00:19:52,573 --> 00:19:53,613
Look, are you sure?
399
00:19:53,693 --> 00:19:56,613
Yeah yeah. You just enjoy yourself.
400
00:19:56,693 --> 00:19:58,893
Alright.
Bye.
401
00:20:06,253 --> 00:20:10,173
Call me daft,
but I think maybe guilt is nature's
402
00:20:10,253 --> 00:20:12,973
way of telling us
we've been bastards.
403
00:20:13,053 --> 00:20:16,453
Who runs this country?
Who's hogging the headlines?
404
00:20:16,533 --> 00:20:18,853
Who's in charge of every
major company?
405
00:20:18,933 --> 00:20:20,293
Well, er...
406
00:20:20,373 --> 00:20:24,373
Bastards. Cos only bastards get
ahead.
407
00:20:24,453 --> 00:20:27,373
Us bastards. Cheers.
408
00:20:29,093 --> 00:20:30,733
Yes, well maybe...
409
00:20:34,373 --> 00:20:37,493
Ahh - pub quiz night.
I can taste sweet victory already.
410
00:20:37,573 --> 00:20:39,093
Do you fancy getting a drink first?
411
00:20:39,173 --> 00:20:40,933
I've got a few hours
until Emma gets back.
412
00:20:41,013 --> 00:20:44,373
No can do. I gotta swot
up before the quiz starts.
413
00:20:44,453 --> 00:20:47,333
History Pete can't make it.
He thought it was tomorrow.
414
00:20:47,413 --> 00:20:49,253
Brilliant at history, crap at life.
415
00:20:49,333 --> 00:20:50,973
Pregnant lady coming through!
416
00:20:51,053 --> 00:20:52,693
I meant to say. Congratulations.
417
00:20:52,773 --> 00:20:54,093
She's not pregnant, I am!
418
00:20:54,173 --> 00:20:55,813
Shitting hell!
419
00:20:55,893 --> 00:20:57,333
I mean, congratulations!
420
00:21:01,173 --> 00:21:02,453
See you tomorrow.
421
00:21:02,533 --> 00:21:03,493
See you later.
422
00:21:03,573 --> 00:21:05,573
Night-night, Leighton, see you
tomorrow love.
423
00:21:05,653 --> 00:21:07,213
Night, see you... tomorrow.
424
00:21:09,053 --> 00:21:11,933
Night, girls. See you tomorrow,
mate.
425
00:21:12,013 --> 00:21:13,613
Yeah. See you, tomorrow, Andy.
426
00:21:13,693 --> 00:21:15,173
Oi, you were awesome today, man.
427
00:21:18,373 --> 00:21:19,973
Thanks Colin.
428
00:21:20,053 --> 00:21:21,853
Thank you for shopping at Valco.
429
00:21:21,903 --> 00:21:26,453
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