All language subtitles for Trollied s02e02 Katie Returns To Work.eng

Valco. Serves you right. I'm quite
nervous. Just say your line.

Can she stop that now?

If you can get it anywhere cheaper,
I'll come around and cook it myself.

Red hot deals. We've got offers on
everything from booze to biscuits.

Loads of two for ones. Service,
with a smile. We have fresh produce.

Grown locally. Don't forget the Valco
tip. Am I getting paid for this?

Valco... I wasn't ready.

- Valco serves you right.
- Valco serves you right.

Morning Margaret, love. Hey, it's
exciting this early start, isn't it?

Everything looks different.
Are you alright, Margaret?

I had a cup of coffee this morning to
help me get up and I'm feelin'

a little buzzy bees.

Aw... I like seeing everyone here.
It's like the Christmas party.

Yeah, except I'm not holding
your hair back while you throw up.

I'd had a bad mince pie. And 15 rum
and cokes. It was the mince pie.

Today marks the beginning of me
getting back in the bosses' good books.

Oh, I forgot, she hates you,
doesn't she? Bit harsh, Margaret.

I wonder why we're in anyway?
Do you think we've won something?

I'll tell you exactly why we're here.

I heard about the same thing at ASDA
once.

Of course you did.

Boss called the staff in first thing
and told them

"We're making some cuts.

"There's 100 of you, only 50 jobs,
fight for it." And they did.

One of their fishmongers were killed.

That sounds like murder.
Sounds like bullshit.

I'm sorry, what's all this about
again...? Don't worry Julie, flower.

All will be revealed.
Come on, give me a hand up.

Oh, meeting's started. No point
being late. Might as well miss it.

We could have a little
meeting of our own? Don't think so.

What would we even talk about?
No, I mean like a meeting. Oh yeah?

Would it be like a sit down meeting?
However you want.

Sat down, lay down, stood up.
Why don't I open my diary?

See if I got room for your meeting?
OK, but hurry up.

We haven't got long.
No, you idiot. Open my diary?

Ah yeah, your diary is your fanny,
isn't it?

Yeah, no, I get it now. Yes!

OK, well how about I bring
a whiteboard to this meeting?

Whiteboard?

What does that even mean?
I don't know.

Yeah, let's go then.

You're hard work sometimes.

Settle down.

Now, you're probably all wondering
why I got you in here early?

Let me firstly say, don't worry,
I'm not sacking anyone.

I'm sure you all read the papers. You
know that it's a price war out there.

It's true... I'm in my flow,
Julie. Sorry.

People love our basic range,

but every supermarket's got a basic
range.

Are we gonna win this scrap by being
the same as everyone else?

Are we heck?

I would like you to
look in this bag. Oh!

Isn't it exciting.
I told you we'd win something.

Valco has got a secret
weapon in this war.

And we're the lucky bastards that get
to trial it. What an honour it is...

From today...

Warrington Valco will be the only
major UK supermarket to have a

range below the basic range.

I give you the Valco No
Nonsense range.

No nonsense baked
beans in tomato liquid.

They look cracking, don't they?
Any questions so far?

No.
She's had a coffee.

You nearly done?
Jesus, give me a chance.

I got to use my imagination
a bit here.

I don't think we're meant to be
eating them. What?

Look at the state of the new kid.

What, there's nothing wrong with
him. I hate Goths. All that black.

It brings me down. I'm a sunshine
person. He's not a Goth, he's Emo.

I don't care what he is.

He needs some vitamin D and a smile
on his face. He's depressing me.

I've had many honours in my time,

but head office choosing our branch
to trial this pisses on the lot.

Anyway, before you run away...

I don't want you to think that life
under me is all work and

no play, so as of tomorrow, there
will be a pool table in the canteen.

Brilliant. But, that's tomorrow.

Today, we open the doors on a new
Valco. Ian, open the doors.

You what? Open the bastard doors.
Right, yeah.

Give us a sec,
I got the keys here, somewhere.

You get the idea. Go to it, people.

Found 'em.

Morning.
Hello, Vic.

What are you doin? Just checking my
lunch. Oh, what's this?

A little love note from the mars.
"Sorry, hon, no crisps.

"Think of the salt content."

Bloody hell. I said it's private.

I used to put notes in Alan's lunch
box. It just said, "Lunch."

Boss, can I just say what
an honour it is to be

working on a day like this.

What? To be working on the day
the new Valco range comes out.

I dreamt of this moment before.

Is he taking the piss?
He's just enthusiastic.

In the dream it was called
the Leighton range,

but apart
from that it is exactly the same.

Great. And if there is anything you
need, I'm right here.

Actually, there's a point of sale
that needs putting

up in the entrance for No Nonsense.

I want it to be the first thing
people see when they come in.

Really, the first thing?

I want John customer to say "Great.
No Nonsense, about bastard time."

You'll find the stuff in my office,
so...

Right, don't worry,
I'm all over it. 6000%.

12p, I tell you what, I'm gonna start
doing my shopping here from now on.

Get me whole week's for 20 quid.
It looks disgusting.

It looks like a sausage roll.
There's nothing wrong with it.

Alright, eat it then. Fine.

Ingredients - pork 9%.

White pepper extract, sage extract,
gelatine, mechanical recovered meat.

Mechanically recovered meat?
I'd rather eat my own arse.

Have you got a big enough plate?
You cheeky bitch. LOL.

Olives, halami, humerous,
artichokes.

You know, I think you should drink
coffee more often,

Margaret, you're like a machine.

I know. Who would think coffee could
have such an effect?

Well, it is a drug. What?
Coffee's a drug?

Oh yeah, that's why I never touch
the stuff. Hugs, not drugs...

that's my motto.

So, I've spent all morning on drugs,
at work.

I don't know who I am anymore.

Yeah, you do seem like you've
changed.

A bit more on edge, shifty eyes.

I just hope today is not
random drug test day.

Random drug test day?
Oh yeah, they do it every year.

Come around, take a sample of urine.

Find out who's hopped up on happy
pills. Who's chasing the dragon.

What am I gonna do
if it's today, Andy? Oh!

Please don't let them sack me.

Don't worry Margaret,

if they come around here I'll
piss in the pot for you.

Oh, thank you, Andy. That is
so lovely of you.

Ham, shitcake mushrooms, salami,
sundried potatoes.

Oh! Colin! What?

Alright, Leighturd? I keep telling
you, it's Leighton. Leighton.

Settin' up the new display? Yeah.

I've been entrusted to set up
the display for the new range,

and I'm not sure,

but I think it might be the proudest
moment of my life.

Yeah. It probably is. See you
later...

Leighturd. Leighton, it's Leighton.
It even says it on my badge.

L, E, I, G, H... T, O, N. Leighton.

Pass us some of that diced.

Hey babes, don't have any of this
mince. Have some lettuce. Love, Emma.

Wow, when did she put that there...?
It's not funny.

Woah, Tommy Temper's here.

What's the matter hon,
I just care about what you eat.

Actually... How did
she put it there? No, Margaret...

Just leave it, alright? Alright, I'm
only messin'. Don't, it's not funny.

Don't go too quick on that thing.

You don't want to get
done for speeding.

I fancy I could outrun you on this.
Probably not wrong there, Vic.

See you later.

You've not touched your tea.

It'll get cold, Linda,
and I'm not making you another one.

Alright, God's sake.

What the fuck? Mechanically
recovered sausage?

How did that get there?

What's so funny? Ah, nothin'.

I'm just rememberin' a joke Andy
told me earlier. Alright.

You'd have laughed. It were about
this dog called Pepperlegs.

Alright, I don't think you should
have coffee full stop.

It's driving you mad.

I am Andy, I didn't tell you any
joke about a dog.

I'm not talking about you.
I mean the new Andy.

What new Andy? Him.

No, no, no.
There's only one Andy here.

Oi, oi! Yeah, you. Smiler.

Don't think you can swan round here
with my name. What?

I don't know what you're on about.
I'm Andy, all right?

I am, ergo you're not.

And it says here that you...
Have signed up at uni.

If you're worried about the course,
I'd make sure my studying

wouldn't interfere with my work.

Valco would always come first. Do
you know what I think, Katie? What?

I think you couldn't give a bull's
balls about Valco.

You've signed up at uni,
need money for snakebite

and there are no other jobs
out there. Absolutely not...

Doesn't matter.

Bottom line is it saves us
training up someone new

and you're brighter than
some of the idiots I've seen.

So...?

Job's yours if you want it, love.

I don't know what the big deal is.

You can't have two people with the
same name working in the same place.

It's madness. Loads of people with
the same name work together.

Long before you started
we had two Lee's working here.

Within a year
they destroyed each other.

This is all part of Lorraine's plan
to undermine me. You're mad.

I bet I wouldn't get
treated like this if I was a baker.

What about the Chuckle brothers?

They've got the same name
and they work together.

Hello, Julie.

Oh, you can tell boss woman her
plan's not going to work.

She won't force me out.
What? This new Andy. It won't work.

I've got absolutely no idea what
you're talking about.

Oh, sorry. I thought she'd be
keeping you in the loop.

I guess we're both out in the cold.

For your information,

I'm a very valued member of the
management team.

I bet she didn't tell you about the
pool table either, did she?

Not that it's any of your business,
Andy, but I'm on a need-to-know...

executive managerial synergy.

Ah! I don't need to explain
myself to underlings.

Bloody hell! All right, Katie.
Hi Lisa, you're looking well.

Cheers, yeah.

I had a stomach parasite last month
so I lost a stone. Great. Aw...

Knew you'd be back. Cheers.

Yeah, I thought you'd last longer
than a few months though.

No offence. It's not really
travelling that, is it?

It's more travelling than
you've done on that chair. All right!

No need to get arsey.
See ya!

What?

You what?

What? A hopeless place?
Yeah, that's how it goes.

No, it's homeless place.
Homeless?!

Where did you get that from?
Well, the video.

She looks like a tramp,
doesn't she? Ah, Sue...

What the
bloody hell is a homeless place?

One of them shelters where
they give you free soup.

What's a hopeless place then?
Here with you!

Completely bloody hopeless.

Aw! That was nice.

It was.

Well, well, well. Look who it is!

Oh, Katie! Well, you look different.

You look so...

What?

Brown. Right,
yeah. I've still got my tan.

So, how was the travelling?
What were your flight like?

You weren't put in a Thai
jail, was ya?

Ooh, I'm sorry. I've had a coffee.

I'm a bit faster than
normal. Yeah, travelling was great.

Got to see the world and that.

What are you doing back here anyway?
Oh, I'm with my mum again.

Start uni next week.

Uni? Yeah. Studying psychology.
You should've come to me.

I know more about the human mind
than any university.

Yeah, I did think about coming
to you first

but I thought I'd learn
more from a professor than a butcher.

You just missed Buggerlugs,
he's gone on his break. Oh, right.

How is Kieran? Still the second
best butcher in Valco.

How was his wedding?
Ah, it was brilliant! Brilliant!

I was on top form. Made one
of his mates literally piss himself.

So, are you coming back
here to work?

Just had an interview with
the new govie.

Oh, don't get me started on her. I'm
surprised she even interviewed you.

I thought she was only
taking on people with my name.

There's two Andy's now. Can you
believe it, Katie? Under one roof.

No, I don't think I want to.

Anyway, I best get going.
So, see you soon. Touch wood.

- Oh, there's no wood. Oh!
- Close enough. Yeah.

I'll see ya later.

Paying nine grand a year to study
psychology.

I'd have done it for nowt.

"NO SENSE".
What happened to the middle bit?

Some of the letters were missing
so I thought I'd use initiative.

How the
frig is that using initiative?

Well, it's a good question.
Thank you for asking. Erm...

Well, I thought
since it can't say "NO NONSENSE"

I thought I might just leave a gap
here so it looks like

"NO" nothing "SENSE".

Which is pretty similar to
"NO NONSENSE"

and I don't want to get carried away

but maybe we should suggest that all
branches do it like that.

Yeah, I'll phone head office now.
You do that.

Can I go out and call my mum?
I've got to call my mum.

Any thicker and we could sell him
as double cream.

Oh... Out with it.

Oh, it's nothing.
Doesn't sound like nothing.

Well, I feel like I'm
out of the loop.

I'm a deputy manager. I belong in
the loop, right in the middle of it.

If this is about the new range,
that was from head office.

But what about the new pool table?

I wasn't consulted on that either.

You're quite right, flower.

I should've told you about the new
range. You're my number two.

Thanks. Well you don't have
to worry about the pool table.

Let's just keep that shower happy.

It's the oldest management
trick in the book. Oh, really?

Mm-hm, did the same at Iceland.
First week, bought them a ball.

They'd have marched into hell for me
after that.

From now on
we're a management team. Go team!

Yeah. See you later.
That was a high...

Bye.

Kieran. Katie! Hi! Jesus!

You look... God! How long you
been back? I've moved back.

Start uni next week, so...
Uni? Mm-hm. Oh! Ah, shut up.

Well, what are you doing here?
Just been for an interview.

Really? What? And you were going to
go without saying hello?

Oh, I went past the meat counter
but you weren't there so I was...

I thought you were meant to be gone
six months. What happened? Nothing.

It was great. I had a brilliant time.

Enjoyed seeing the sights and that...
But?

It was just a bit annoying.

There was a lot of rich
kids on their gap years, you know.

Did me head in, so... What? And
you're coming back here?

HERE here, to work?

- Old job's mine if I want it.
- Woo-hoo Ah, it'll be fun.

Well, I've got to pay my student
loan somehow. What?

River Island turn you down then?
Funny.

Yeah, they did actually.

Ah... It's not so bad working here.
Mm-hm, I suppose.

Although I've got to buy
a new uniform.

Set fire to the old one
when I was pissed.

I better go
but I'll see you soon.

I hear you tied the knot then?
Yeah, all married up now.

Under the wha-tush!
Aw, congratulations, mate!

I best erm...
I'd better go, anyway. See ya.

OW! Sorry.

And she said, "If both your hands
are on my shoulders,

"what's that sticking in me back?"

Here he is.

Can I have a word, Lorraine?

Go on, back to work.

I just thought you should know...
I know what you're doing.

What the frig are you on about now?
This new kid.

Bringing in someone in my name
so I'll jump ship.

I bet you wouldn't bring in another
Sharon, would ya?

Andy, for the love of God,
look at me.

Do I look like a woman who doesn't
know how to sack someone?

If I wanted you out,
believe me you would know about it.

I'd have you
crying like a little baby.

I can't work with another Andy,
it's insane. Jesus!

You've never heard of a nickname?

Good idea! Thanks.
Yeah, I'll do that.

Anything else? Any other
emergencies? No, that's all.

Cheers, boss.

Yes! Get in there!

What about Black Hair? Raven. Nah,
that's not right. Black-Haired Boy.

Goth Boy.
Closer but... It's not quite right.

The Boy With The Black Hair.
Sounds like a bloody book, Margaret.

I've got it.
From now on you are Andrew.

Well, I'm not an Andrew.
My name's just Andy.

It's Andrew or it's ten rounds with
me in the warehouse. Fine. Whatever.

I'm Andrew.

Cheer up.

Hey, you'll never guess who you've
just missed. Erm... Gary Barlow? No.

Katie? Yeah, well how did you...?
I've just seen her. Oh.

What did you say
Gary Barlow for then? Is he here?

- It was just a joke, Margaret. Oh!
- Oh, yeah. Yeah, Gary Barlow.

Has that coffee worn off yet?
Oh, I think so.

I won't be doing that again. All day
I felt like I'd been in a car chase.

You know you can get decaf?
Well that's what I have.

I only ever have decaf. Won't have
that other stuff - sends you mad!

Good. Good. Yes, good.

Quick pint? Yeah! Oh, wait.
No, I can't actually.

I promised I'd paint the bathroom.
Jesus.

Why don't you just tuck it between
your legs and have done with it?

Oi, Andrew mate. Don't worry.

Your new name badge will be here by
the end of the week. See you later.

Night-night, Dave. Night, Margaret.

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