All language subtitles for Trollied s01e08 Julies Interview.eng

- Can she stop that?
- If you get it cheaper, I'll cook it.

- We have 17 varieties of poppadom.
- Offers from booze to biscuits.

- Loads of 2-for-1s.
- Service with a smile.

- Fresh produce.
- Delivered daily.

- The Valco tick.
- That way.

- Valco.
- I wasn't ready.

Valco serves you right.

Valco serves you right.

(over tannoy) ..with teabags on offer.

Two for one. Don't miss out on
this offer which ends today.

No way, mate.

You'll love it.
It's blue, but it's dynamite.

Go on.

It's an honour to be Kieran's best man,

and when he told me he wanted me
to take good care of Emma's ring,

- ladies and gentlemen...
- Whoa. Enough.

Andy, I'm sorry.
I've thought long and hard about it

and it was a toss-up between
my actual mates, my brother,

or the fat butcher I have to stand
next to all day every bloody day.

It were a tough call.

Bet none of them can fillet a whole cow
in an hour.

- No.
- You get practical skills with me,

not just a great speech.

Don't give me that face.
You know it makes me weak.

Stop it.

- Hello, I'm Gavin.
- I'm Steve, nice to meet you.

- And this is my...
- I've got things set up in the canteen.

Are you OK with all the bags?

Just a reminder to all customers,

there is a special three for two offer
on Valco household bleach. Thank you.

- Hey, Sue, I've won.
- Have you?

- How much?
- A pound.

Great.
Where are you taking me? Blackpool?

So when you shoot the actual advert,
how many people are gonna be here?

We're gonna shoot most of it
in a studio.

We tried filming in the Wigan branch,
but the footage wasn't usable.

Well, quite.
I'm sure my staff will do you proud.

Have you any idea who the celebrity
might be? It's not Davro again, is it?

Apparently, Louise Redknapp.

Louise Redknapp and Valco.

- There's a brand match made in heaven.
- Could you stand in shot for us?

Stand on the X
and give us a sound check.

- I'm not good at improvising.
- Great. That's perfect.

- Good enough for the advert.
- You think?

Only joking.
Could you send the others in, please?

That's a nice dress.
Lovely detail on the veil.

Yeah, nice cut. Train is a bit fussy.

Normally, off-white wedding dresses
don't work for me, but that's beautiful.

Beautiful.

- I'll put the magazines away.
- Yeah.

Trinny and Susannah
checking the latest trends?

For your information,
we were talking about the Falklands.

Guns and that.

- So how's it all going?
- Mental.

So much to do, you know?
Suits, flowers,

napkin colour. Didn't know
they came in different colours.

- Nice.
- Went for purple.

- Hope they don't clash with your dress.
- Yeah, about that.

- Good morning, everyone.
- Morning, Gavin.

Yeah. Good morning, Margaret.
Just to let you know,

we've got someone in store
holding auditions for the new advert.

- How much are they paying?
- That is yet to be decided.

But you're all welcome
to try out for it.

How exciting. Television.

Yes. The camera has been set up
in the canteen, so feel free...

Are you listening?
Camera is set up in the canteen.

So just feel free to have a pop
as and when. As and when.

Don't let me stop you. Carry on.

- Bye, Gavin.
- Bye, Margaret.

Auditions, eh?
I'd better go and get into character.

Which character, sweaty butcher?

- What were you saying?
- Yeah...

I wonder what they're advertising.
Is it food?

You know what? It can wait.

Looks like I won't have time
to be your best man after all, mate.

I'll be too busy on the old idiot box.

Best place for you.

Slow down, love. Slow down.

I can't do it, Gavin.

What? The advert?
It's not compulsory, Julie.

The job interview, Gavin. I'm not
bothered about being on national TV.

- I've got bigger issues here.
- Well, come along.

Interviews are nothing to be scared of.
Easy as falling off a log.

You don't know much this job
means to me.

I do. You've mentioned it
on a few occasions.

What if I'm not cut out for it
and it's all too much for me?

Trust me, you have nothing to fear.

You're more experienced than the others.
You've got 20 years on some of them.

Well, I suppose it wouldn't be
against the rules

if I gave you the Gavin Strong
tried and tested interview technique.

Gavin, you'd do that? For me?

Just let me finish this blasted in-tray.

OK. When you're ready, please.
Just stand on the X and say the line.

- Can't be arsed, mate.
- So why are you here?

It gets me off the shop floor,
doesn't it? Away from all the twats.

Only we've got more people to audition.

OK.

- I'll just stay out of your road.
- Ta.

OK, who's next?

- We're not live, are we?
- No.

And action.

I don't know what...

- Just say what's on the card, mate.
- Right. Sorry.

Right.

- What's on the card, mate.
- Ha!

- How's that?
- I reckon you nailed it.

Ace.

Is that all we say?
Thank you for shopping at Valco.

Bit of a tongue-twister, isn't it?

Why are you bothered, anyway?

Five words, Kieran.
Howard from the Halifax... adverts.

Ten years ago,
nobody knew him from Adam.

Now he lives on a private island.
Just him and a load of flamingos.

That sounds about right, mate.
What about you, Margaret?

- Fancy being on the telly?
- Oh, no, I'd hate to be a celebrity.

Can you imagine paparazzi in here?
Shouting at me?

Give us a wave, Margaret.
Over here, Margaret.

Oh, no thank you, Jose.

Now, it's all about staying calm
under pressure. So just try it again.

One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, and control.

My therapist used to say

if you get nervous you should
imagine everyone covered in dust.

Did sod all, though.
Just made me want to vacuum.

I can imagine. If I was asked to imagine
dust, I'm not sure where I'd begin.

I'm sorry. You don't want to know
everything about my life, my therapy.

None of my business, really.
Let's get back on with this.

I went off the rails a bit
when I split up with the bastard.

Don't worry, I didn't kill anyone.
(nervous laugh)

Oh, I hate red wine, I do.

I had two bottles of it
at this barbeque last week.

Made me shit look like liquorice.

- Eh oop.
- Alright?

What's the latest?

Well, that guy had his flies down
and the guy before that stunk of beans.

- So it's been an eventful morning.
- Nice.

I've got an hour after work.
Fancy a drink?

Yeah, maybe. There's something
that I wanted to say earlier.

- You got a date with the beans fella?
- No.

Erm... It's your wedding.

What?

- I'm not coming.
- What?

- Why not?
- Booked my flight to Thailand.

- I'm out of this dump.
- You're kidding.

You knew I was going away. A last minute
deal came up. I couldn't turn it down.

- You couldn't turn it down?
- No.

- You can turn my wedding down?
- Don't be like that.

Can't believe it. Who will I
have a laugh with if you're away?

I don't know, maybe your wife?

Thanks a lot, mate.

Morning.

Let's just...
A practice interview question.

What do you consider
to be your weaknesses?

Right.

Well, erm,
I suppose I can be quite firm sometimes.

And I can't stand scroungers.

Get away from me with your cap in hand.
Get a job.

Oh, God. Who am I kidding?
I'm not ready for this.

I'll tell you something
I heard someone say recently.

Something... about Julie Cook.

- Did they say she's an idiot?
- No, they said,

"That Julie Cook has really picked up
the slack at the Warrington branch."

"Fair play to her."
And do you know who said that?

Brian Francis.

- Regional manager Brian Francis?
- The very same.

He believes in you.
And I believe in you.

- You know who doesn't believe in you?
- Stella Ainsworth.

- Well, she's a bitch.
- No, you, Julie.

You need to believe in you.

I guess I do.

So you think I'm ready
for the interview?

101 %.

Now come on, just give it to them.

OK.

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There you are.
Why didn't you get me for lunch?

No point asking.
You'd only have cancelled.

Oh, that's mature.

Can't believe you'll miss my wedding.

I have to think about
what's important for me.

I can't put my plans off any longer.

I don't want to be here next year
scanning tins.

Katie, you're my best mate.

- Yeah, I know.
- We'll still have a laugh.

- It'll be different.
- Different how?

It just will.

Come on, Spielberg.
Five minutes in the warehouse.

They won't even know you've been away.
I've already got me knickers off.

So I give you the nod,
then you're to go.

If I get this,
there's no way I'm working here forever.

Nor me. I'm moving to Malta. Sod coming
in here every day for 6.50 an hour.

Thank you for shopping at Valco.

Thanks. That's it.

Our Dave says if I get it
he'll buy me a new pair of tits.

- You can bring 'em to Malta to show me.
- Deal.

So, Julie Cook.

Yes. (nervous laugh) That's me.

I'm Duncan,
recruitment exec at head office.

- Nice to meet you.
- This is Melanie, she's from HR.

- Hi.
- Hello.

- And obviously you know Gavin.
- Yes, hello.

Hello, Gavin.

Nice to meet you.

So we take it you know what
the deputy manager role involves.

Yes, of course.

- I mean, I've been here long enough.
- (Melanie) I saw that.

Why didn't you go for the position
when it came up first time around?

Well, erm, I was away at the time.

- I took a sabbatical.
- OK.

It was an island, a camp.
(shudders)

One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, and control.

So, can I ask you, Julie, what do you
think are your greatest strengths?

My greatest strengths? Oh...

Well... erm...

I would say that
I'm very committed to the company.

Very loyal.

A bit like a dog. (pants)

You're reduced.

And you're reduced.

- What are you doing?
- Not much.

I can see that.
What's the cheapest thing you've got?

- We've got...
- Hurry up.

..these wonderful reduced
pickled onions for ??1 .99.

Give us a look. Perfect.

That's my weekend sorted. See you later.

Julie, what would you do, say, if you
caught a pregnant woman shoplifting?

I've no time for those sort of games.
Hand up the jumper straight away.

Pardon?

Nine out of ten times it's not a baby,
it's a frozen chicken.

You must come down hard on those types.
Even if they are pregnant,

they still act as if they're
the only people who can have kids.

(Melanie) I see.

What about the future? Where do you
see yourself in ten years' time?

I don't know.
Erm, maybe you should ask Gavin.

I mean, in terms of promotions and
things like that. Not having kids with.

Deputy manager.
I'd like to be deputy manager.

I work well as an individual
and as a team.

OK. Well, thank you very much.

- Yes, thank you, Julie. Good luck.
- Thank you.

Thank you.

Are you quite sure she's
the ideal fit for the job, Gavin?

She doesn't interview well, but she
knows the job like the back of hand.

If you say so.

Can I say, I think it would
send out a positive message

if we were to promote from within.

She was supposed to do
the counting thing silently.

- Have you got a loyalty card?
- Sorry, no.

That's 75.55 altogether, please.

- What?
- 75.55.

Jesus wept.

- Put that back, please?
- Sure.

And that.

Actually, stick the lot back for me.

Great value?
You're having a fucking laugh.

My life, no.

My life is a disaster zone

cos I spend my days chasing guys like
you around the block. That's my life.

Pacino. Have you seen Heat?

No, I don't really like modern films.
I prefer slapstick.

He's amazing. A lot of people
say Robert De Niro is the best actor,

but that's a very cliched choice.
It's got to be Al Pacino.

I think you're a bit like
that actor John, er, what's his face?

- John Gielgud?
- Inman.

You stupid, stupid idiot.

Don't like pregnant women?

- ( Gavin) Julie.
- Oh!

Don't come in, Gavin.
I'm covered in mascara.

- I'm just checking you're OK.
- I'm not OK.

I looked like a right lemon there.

God only knows
what they must think of me.

And now here I am,
blubbing like I'm on Surprise, Surprise.

You got the job.

I've a good mind to pack everything up
and run off to the Cairngorms.

Julie, Julie.

You've got the job.

- I've got the job?
- They said you were perfect.

Did they really?

Well, they said
you defied expectations.

My God. Thank you so much, Gavin.

Thank you. Thank you.

Well done, Julie. Bravo.

It must have been
the way you made me breathe.

No, no, you did it all by yourself.
Well done.

And there's been some good news
for yours truly as well.

Fantastic. What is it?

Well, since old Craig Falcon
got the heave-ho at head office,

they're looking for a new area manager.

About bloody time.

They think I might be
the ideal candidate to fill his shoes.

Amazing. Wait. But that means...

I'll be an area manager. I know.

Area manager?
But you can't. You can't leave.

This is your Valco.
You made this store what it is.

We all have to move on at some point.
Now that you're deputy manager,

I have every faith that
the good work here will now continue.

But I wanted to be your deputy manager.

I'm sure I'll be popping in often enough
to check up on you, Julie.

(sobs)

I know.

I almost feel like
shedding a tear myself.

Don't need it, kid.

- How are we looking?
- Great. When you're ready.

Position right? I act better
with the right side of my face.

- It's great.
- OK. Do you need a sound check?

One, two, testicles, testicles.
One, two.

- Mate, just go for it.
- OK, great.

(clears throat)

(exhales)

Thank you for coming to Valco.
That's the wrong line?

- That's great.
- I want to make sure I nail it.

What's the line again, fella?

- Thank you for shopping at Valco.
- OK, yeah. Got it, got it. OK.

Lights, camera, action.

Andy Richmond's the name.
Butchery is my trade.

I live to serve you. You, the customer.

Thank you.

Thank you for shopping...

..at Valco.

Can't teach that shit.
See you, buddy. Good luck, boys.

Slight worry I have
is I may have had too much presence.

I'm more of a film actor.
I'm not sure TV can contain me.

I saw a 40-inch screen in Dixons, Andy.
Would you fit into that?

With his fat head? I doubt it.

( Gavin) Come and join us.

Er, Wagi, Tom, come in a second.

Baker boys. Fabulous baker boys,
come and join us.

Can I have your attention
for two shakes of a lamb's tail?

The Bafta goes to...

- I have an announcement to make.
- Who's gonna be in the advert?

We won't know that for a while yet.

This is far more important than that.

I'm pleased to say
that Julie has been promoted

and she is now deputy manager.

(Margaret) Good old Julie.

Would you like to say a few words there
for us, Julie?

Thank you, erm, very much.

- Sorry.
- ( Gavin) It's been an emotional day.

Well done, Julie. Come on, everyone.

Yes, absolutely, carry on. They're
still shopping, so we're not stopping.

- Come on. Pull yourself together.
- Oh, Gavin.

There's customers on the floor.

Katie.

Mental, eh?

- I knew she wanted the job, but Jesus.
- Yeah. I know.

- Not gonna change your mind, are you?
- It's booked. I can't.

- What if I change the date?
- You can't, Kieran.

- It's not a dentist appointment.
- I'm sure Emma will let me.

Alright, she won't let me, but...

Why are you so bothered
about me being there anyway?

I dunno. I just...

I am...
I'm doing the right thing, aren't I?

It's nothing to do with me.
I don't know.

I'm rubbish at making decisions.
I just don't know what to do any more.

Let me have another crack
at this speech.

- Not now, Andy.
- It was Martin Luther King's.

- But I've changed the words...
- Just fuck off, Andy, yeah?

You know what?
Stick your wedding up your arse.

- What am I meant to do?
- It's simple, Kieran.

You've just got to ask yourself
are you in love?

You're right.

You really are rubbish
at making decisions.

- (girls) Night.
- Bye.

Valco's got it all.

Freshly picked oranges and lots more.

Steaks and mince! Mmm, yes please.

Ready-made pasta meals, perfect.

And sparkling wine,
just what the doctor ordered.

Hen's eggs only ??2.

Valco serves you right.

Thank you for shopping at Valco.

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