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1
00:00:00,010 --> 00:00:01,819
- Can she stop that?
- If you get it cheaper, I'll cook it.
2
00:00:01,820 --> 00:00:05,813
- We have 17 varieties of poppadom.
- Offers from booze to biscuits.
3
00:00:05,900 --> 00:00:08,733
- Loads of 2-for-1s.
- Service with a smile.
4
00:00:09,140 --> 00:00:11,335
- Fresh produce.
- Delivered daily.
5
00:00:11,420 --> 00:00:13,138
- The Valco tick.
- That way.
6
00:00:13,220 --> 00:00:15,256
- Valco.
- I wasn't ready.
7
00:00:15,340 --> 00:00:17,535
Valco serves you right.
8
00:00:17,620 --> 00:00:20,054
Valco serves you right.
9
00:00:22,540 --> 00:00:25,498
(over tannoy) ..with teabags on offer.
10
00:00:25,580 --> 00:00:28,811
Two for one. Don't miss out on
this offer which ends today.
11
00:00:28,900 --> 00:00:30,015
No way, mate.
12
00:00:30,100 --> 00:00:32,660
You'll love it.
It's blue, but it's dynamite.
13
00:00:32,740 --> 00:00:33,729
Go on.
14
00:00:33,820 --> 00:00:36,050
It's an honour to be Kieran's best man,
15
00:00:36,140 --> 00:00:39,576
and when he told me he wanted me
to take good care of Emma's ring,
16
00:00:39,660 --> 00:00:42,049
- ladies and gentlemen...
- Whoa. Enough.
17
00:00:42,140 --> 00:00:44,973
Andy, I'm sorry.
I've thought long and hard about it
18
00:00:45,060 --> 00:00:48,177
and it was a toss-up between
my actual mates, my brother,
19
00:00:48,260 --> 00:00:52,299
or the fat butcher I have to stand
next to all day every bloody day.
20
00:00:52,380 --> 00:00:54,575
It were a tough call.
21
00:00:54,660 --> 00:00:58,050
Bet none of them can fillet a whole cow
in an hour.
22
00:00:58,140 --> 00:01:00,176
- No.
- You get practical skills with me,
23
00:01:00,260 --> 00:01:02,899
not just a great speech.
24
00:01:06,580 --> 00:01:10,493
Don't give me that face.
You know it makes me weak.
25
00:01:10,580 --> 00:01:11,899
Stop it.
26
00:01:14,100 --> 00:01:17,092
- Hello, I'm Gavin.
- I'm Steve, nice to meet you.
27
00:01:17,180 --> 00:01:20,695
- And this is my...
- I've got things set up in the canteen.
28
00:01:20,780 --> 00:01:22,896
Are you OK with all the bags?
29
00:01:22,980 --> 00:01:24,811
Just a reminder to all customers,
30
00:01:24,900 --> 00:01:29,894
there is a special three for two offer
on Valco household bleach. Thank you.
31
00:01:32,060 --> 00:01:34,210
- Hey, Sue, I've won.
- Have you?
32
00:01:35,580 --> 00:01:37,696
- How much?
- A pound.
33
00:01:37,780 --> 00:01:40,692
Great.
Where are you taking me? Blackpool?
34
00:01:49,100 --> 00:01:53,696
So when you shoot the actual advert,
how many people are gonna be here?
35
00:01:53,780 --> 00:01:56,135
We're gonna shoot most of it
in a studio.
36
00:01:56,220 --> 00:01:59,929
We tried filming in the Wigan branch,
but the footage wasn't usable.
37
00:02:00,020 --> 00:02:03,695
Well, quite.
I'm sure my staff will do you proud.
38
00:02:03,780 --> 00:02:08,058
Have you any idea who the celebrity
might be? It's not Davro again, is it?
39
00:02:08,140 --> 00:02:10,495
Apparently, Louise Redknapp.
40
00:02:10,580 --> 00:02:13,697
Louise Redknapp and Valco.
41
00:02:13,780 --> 00:02:17,659
- There's a brand match made in heaven.
- Could you stand in shot for us?
42
00:02:17,740 --> 00:02:20,538
Stand on the X
and give us a sound check.
43
00:02:23,420 --> 00:02:26,617
- I'm not good at improvising.
- Great. That's perfect.
44
00:02:26,700 --> 00:02:28,930
- Good enough for the advert.
- You think?
45
00:02:29,020 --> 00:02:32,217
Only joking.
Could you send the others in, please?
46
00:02:37,940 --> 00:02:40,534
That's a nice dress.
Lovely detail on the veil.
47
00:02:40,620 --> 00:02:43,418
Yeah, nice cut. Train is a bit fussy.
48
00:02:43,500 --> 00:02:47,812
Normally, off-white wedding dresses
don't work for me, but that's beautiful.
49
00:02:47,900 --> 00:02:49,777
Beautiful.
50
00:02:51,620 --> 00:02:53,656
- I'll put the magazines away.
- Yeah.
51
00:02:53,740 --> 00:02:56,129
Trinny and Susannah
checking the latest trends?
52
00:02:56,220 --> 00:02:59,576
For your information,
we were talking about the Falklands.
53
00:02:59,660 --> 00:03:01,093
Guns and that.
54
00:03:01,180 --> 00:03:03,091
- So how's it all going?
- Mental.
55
00:03:03,180 --> 00:03:06,172
So much to do, you know?
Suits, flowers,
56
00:03:06,260 --> 00:03:09,218
napkin colour. Didn't know
they came in different colours.
57
00:03:09,300 --> 00:03:11,370
- Nice.
- Went for purple.
58
00:03:11,460 --> 00:03:15,214
- Hope they don't clash with your dress.
- Yeah, about that.
59
00:03:15,300 --> 00:03:17,860
- Good morning, everyone.
- Morning, Gavin.
60
00:03:17,940 --> 00:03:20,773
Yeah. Good morning, Margaret.
Just to let you know,
61
00:03:20,860 --> 00:03:24,409
we've got someone in store
holding auditions for the new advert.
62
00:03:24,500 --> 00:03:27,697
- How much are they paying?
- That is yet to be decided.
63
00:03:27,780 --> 00:03:31,898
But you're all welcome
to try out for it.
64
00:03:31,980 --> 00:03:34,574
How exciting. Television.
65
00:03:34,660 --> 00:03:37,732
Yes. The camera has been set up
in the canteen, so feel free...
66
00:03:37,820 --> 00:03:41,130
Are you listening?
Camera is set up in the canteen.
67
00:03:41,220 --> 00:03:46,897
So just feel free to have a pop
as and when. As and when.
68
00:03:46,980 --> 00:03:48,857
Don't let me stop you. Carry on.
69
00:03:48,940 --> 00:03:51,659
- Bye, Gavin.
- Bye, Margaret.
70
00:03:52,180 --> 00:03:55,092
Auditions, eh?
I'd better go and get into character.
71
00:03:55,180 --> 00:03:57,091
Which character, sweaty butcher?
72
00:03:57,180 --> 00:03:59,694
- What were you saying?
- Yeah...
73
00:03:59,780 --> 00:04:02,931
I wonder what they're advertising.
Is it food?
74
00:04:03,780 --> 00:04:06,010
You know what? It can wait.
75
00:04:06,100 --> 00:04:09,536
Looks like I won't have time
to be your best man after all, mate.
76
00:04:09,620 --> 00:04:11,815
I'll be too busy on the old idiot box.
77
00:04:11,900 --> 00:04:13,458
Best place for you.
78
00:04:17,180 --> 00:04:20,217
Slow down, love. Slow down.
79
00:04:21,580 --> 00:04:22,729
I can't do it, Gavin.
80
00:04:22,820 --> 00:04:25,459
What? The advert?
It's not compulsory, Julie.
81
00:04:25,540 --> 00:04:29,772
The job interview, Gavin. I'm not
bothered about being on national TV.
82
00:04:29,860 --> 00:04:32,772
- I've got bigger issues here.
- Well, come along.
83
00:04:32,860 --> 00:04:36,455
Interviews are nothing to be scared of.
Easy as falling off a log.
84
00:04:36,540 --> 00:04:38,735
You don't know much this job
means to me.
85
00:04:38,820 --> 00:04:41,015
I do. You've mentioned it
on a few occasions.
86
00:04:41,100 --> 00:04:43,853
What if I'm not cut out for it
and it's all too much for me?
87
00:04:43,940 --> 00:04:46,170
Trust me, you have nothing to fear.
88
00:04:46,260 --> 00:04:50,253
You're more experienced than the others.
You've got 20 years on some of them.
89
00:04:52,140 --> 00:04:55,052
Well, I suppose it wouldn't be
against the rules
90
00:04:55,140 --> 00:04:58,496
if I gave you the Gavin Strong
tried and tested interview technique.
91
00:04:58,580 --> 00:05:02,493
Gavin, you'd do that? For me?
92
00:05:03,700 --> 00:05:07,693
Just let me finish this blasted in-tray.
93
00:05:10,220 --> 00:05:14,259
OK. When you're ready, please.
Just stand on the X and say the line.
94
00:05:14,340 --> 00:05:16,854
- Can't be arsed, mate.
- So why are you here?
95
00:05:16,940 --> 00:05:20,569
It gets me off the shop floor,
doesn't it? Away from all the twats.
96
00:05:20,660 --> 00:05:23,857
Only we've got more people to audition.
97
00:05:23,940 --> 00:05:25,419
OK.
98
00:05:25,500 --> 00:05:27,536
- I'll just stay out of your road.
- Ta.
99
00:05:29,380 --> 00:05:31,416
OK, who's next?
100
00:05:33,100 --> 00:05:34,692
- We're not live, are we?
- No.
101
00:05:43,580 --> 00:05:45,218
And action.
102
00:05:46,060 --> 00:05:47,288
I don't know what...
103
00:05:47,380 --> 00:05:50,053
- Just say what's on the card, mate.
- Right. Sorry.
104
00:05:50,980 --> 00:05:52,459
Right.
105
00:05:52,540 --> 00:05:54,895
- What's on the card, mate.
- Ha!
106
00:05:54,980 --> 00:05:57,494
- How's that?
- I reckon you nailed it.
107
00:05:58,940 --> 00:05:59,611
Ace.
108
00:06:00,220 --> 00:06:02,814
Is that all we say?
Thank you for shopping at Valco.
109
00:06:02,900 --> 00:06:04,891
Bit of a tongue-twister, isn't it?
110
00:06:04,980 --> 00:06:07,210
Why are you bothered, anyway?
111
00:06:07,300 --> 00:06:12,215
Five words, Kieran.
Howard from the Halifax... adverts.
112
00:06:12,300 --> 00:06:14,530
Ten years ago,
nobody knew him from Adam.
113
00:06:14,620 --> 00:06:18,374
Now he lives on a private island.
Just him and a load of flamingos.
114
00:06:18,460 --> 00:06:21,770
That sounds about right, mate.
What about you, Margaret?
115
00:06:21,860 --> 00:06:25,409
- Fancy being on the telly?
- Oh, no, I'd hate to be a celebrity.
116
00:06:25,500 --> 00:06:30,051
Can you imagine paparazzi in here?
Shouting at me?
117
00:06:30,140 --> 00:06:33,257
Give us a wave, Margaret.
Over here, Margaret.
118
00:06:33,340 --> 00:06:36,013
Oh, no thank you, Jose.
119
00:06:39,100 --> 00:06:43,810
Now, it's all about staying calm
under pressure. So just try it again.
120
00:06:43,900 --> 00:06:47,893
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, and control.
121
00:06:47,980 --> 00:06:49,891
My therapist used to say
122
00:06:49,980 --> 00:06:53,609
if you get nervous you should
imagine everyone covered in dust.
123
00:06:53,700 --> 00:06:57,010
Did sod all, though.
Just made me want to vacuum.
124
00:06:57,100 --> 00:07:01,139
I can imagine. If I was asked to imagine
dust, I'm not sure where I'd begin.
125
00:07:01,220 --> 00:07:05,498
I'm sorry. You don't want to know
everything about my life, my therapy.
126
00:07:05,580 --> 00:07:08,697
None of my business, really.
Let's get back on with this.
127
00:07:08,780 --> 00:07:12,056
I went off the rails a bit
when I split up with the bastard.
128
00:07:12,140 --> 00:07:15,610
Don't worry, I didn't kill anyone.
(nervous laugh)
129
00:07:19,980 --> 00:07:22,414
Oh, I hate red wine, I do.
130
00:07:22,500 --> 00:07:25,492
I had two bottles of it
at this barbeque last week.
131
00:07:25,580 --> 00:07:28,174
Made me shit look like liquorice.
132
00:07:32,740 --> 00:07:33,889
- Eh oop.
- Alright?
133
00:07:33,980 --> 00:07:35,095
What's the latest?
134
00:07:35,180 --> 00:07:39,093
Well, that guy had his flies down
and the guy before that stunk of beans.
135
00:07:39,180 --> 00:07:41,489
- So it's been an eventful morning.
- Nice.
136
00:07:41,580 --> 00:07:43,855
I've got an hour after work.
Fancy a drink?
137
00:07:43,940 --> 00:07:47,569
Yeah, maybe. There's something
that I wanted to say earlier.
138
00:07:47,660 --> 00:07:50,891
- You got a date with the beans fella?
- No.
139
00:07:50,980 --> 00:07:53,210
Erm... It's your wedding.
140
00:07:53,300 --> 00:07:54,619
What?
141
00:07:54,700 --> 00:07:58,056
- I'm not coming.
- What?
142
00:07:58,140 --> 00:08:00,449
- Why not?
- Booked my flight to Thailand.
143
00:08:00,540 --> 00:08:02,815
- I'm out of this dump.
- You're kidding.
144
00:08:02,900 --> 00:08:07,098
You knew I was going away. A last minute
deal came up. I couldn't turn it down.
145
00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:09,410
- You couldn't turn it down?
- No.
146
00:08:09,500 --> 00:08:12,412
- You can turn my wedding down?
- Don't be like that.
147
00:08:12,500 --> 00:08:15,936
Can't believe it. Who will I
have a laugh with if you're away?
148
00:08:16,020 --> 00:08:18,295
I don't know, maybe your wife?
149
00:08:20,580 --> 00:08:22,855
Thanks a lot, mate.
150
00:08:23,580 --> 00:08:24,933
Morning.
151
00:08:25,020 --> 00:08:29,093
Let's just...
A practice interview question.
152
00:08:29,180 --> 00:08:31,740
What do you consider
to be your weaknesses?
153
00:08:31,820 --> 00:08:33,890
Right.
154
00:08:33,980 --> 00:08:38,770
Well, erm,
I suppose I can be quite firm sometimes.
155
00:08:39,580 --> 00:08:41,889
And I can't stand scroungers.
156
00:08:41,980 --> 00:08:46,258
Get away from me with your cap in hand.
Get a job.
157
00:08:47,180 --> 00:08:51,059
Oh, God. Who am I kidding?
I'm not ready for this.
158
00:08:52,060 --> 00:08:55,018
I'll tell you something
I heard someone say recently.
159
00:08:56,180 --> 00:08:59,490
Something... about Julie Cook.
160
00:08:59,580 --> 00:09:02,890
- Did they say she's an idiot?
- No, they said,
161
00:09:02,980 --> 00:09:07,496
"That Julie Cook has really picked up
the slack at the Warrington branch."
162
00:09:07,580 --> 00:09:10,458
"Fair play to her."
And do you know who said that?
163
00:09:10,540 --> 00:09:12,895
Brian Francis.
164
00:09:12,980 --> 00:09:16,609
- Regional manager Brian Francis?
- The very same.
165
00:09:16,700 --> 00:09:20,170
He believes in you.
And I believe in you.
166
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:23,650
- You know who doesn't believe in you?
- Stella Ainsworth.
167
00:09:23,740 --> 00:09:27,494
- Well, she's a bitch.
- No, you, Julie.
168
00:09:27,580 --> 00:09:29,969
You need to believe in you.
169
00:09:30,060 --> 00:09:31,539
I guess I do.
170
00:09:32,260 --> 00:09:34,490
So you think I'm ready
for the interview?
171
00:09:34,580 --> 00:09:37,094
101 %.
172
00:09:37,180 --> 00:09:39,410
Now come on, just give it to them.
173
00:09:39,500 --> 00:09:40,535
OK.
174
00:09:45,380 --> 00:09:49,612
Unexpected item in bagging area.
Remove item before continuing.
175
00:09:51,380 --> 00:09:55,612
Unexpected item in bagging area.
Remove item before continuing.
176
00:09:58,180 --> 00:10:00,296
Unexpected item in bagging area.
177
00:10:01,780 --> 00:10:04,613
There you are.
Why didn't you get me for lunch?
178
00:10:04,700 --> 00:10:07,294
No point asking.
You'd only have cancelled.
179
00:10:07,380 --> 00:10:09,291
Oh, that's mature.
180
00:10:09,380 --> 00:10:11,496
Can't believe you'll miss my wedding.
181
00:10:11,580 --> 00:10:13,855
I have to think about
what's important for me.
182
00:10:13,940 --> 00:10:16,295
I can't put my plans off any longer.
183
00:10:16,380 --> 00:10:19,019
I don't want to be here next year
scanning tins.
184
00:10:19,100 --> 00:10:20,692
Katie, you're my best mate.
185
00:10:20,780 --> 00:10:23,658
- Yeah, I know.
- We'll still have a laugh.
186
00:10:23,740 --> 00:10:25,970
- It'll be different.
- Different how?
187
00:10:26,060 --> 00:10:27,573
It just will.
188
00:10:27,660 --> 00:10:30,891
Come on, Spielberg.
Five minutes in the warehouse.
189
00:10:30,980 --> 00:10:34,814
They won't even know you've been away.
I've already got me knickers off.
190
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:42,109
So I give you the nod,
then you're to go.
191
00:10:42,200 --> 00:10:45,829
If I get this,
there's no way I'm working here forever.
192
00:10:45,920 --> 00:10:50,232
Nor me. I'm moving to Malta. Sod coming
in here every day for 6.50 an hour.
193
00:10:51,280 --> 00:10:53,919
Thank you for shopping at Valco.
194
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:56,594
Thanks. That's it.
195
00:10:58,680 --> 00:11:01,797
Our Dave says if I get it
he'll buy me a new pair of tits.
196
00:11:01,880 --> 00:11:04,394
- You can bring 'em to Malta to show me.
- Deal.
197
00:11:06,160 --> 00:11:08,754
So, Julie Cook.
198
00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:11,149
Yes. (nervous laugh) That's me.
199
00:11:11,240 --> 00:11:13,800
I'm Duncan,
recruitment exec at head office.
200
00:11:13,880 --> 00:11:17,190
- Nice to meet you.
- This is Melanie, she's from HR.
201
00:11:17,280 --> 00:11:18,998
- Hi.
- Hello.
202
00:11:19,080 --> 00:11:21,640
- And obviously you know Gavin.
- Yes, hello.
203
00:11:21,720 --> 00:11:23,358
Hello, Gavin.
204
00:11:24,160 --> 00:11:25,593
Nice to meet you.
205
00:11:27,280 --> 00:11:31,796
So we take it you know what
the deputy manager role involves.
206
00:11:31,880 --> 00:11:33,199
Yes, of course.
207
00:11:33,280 --> 00:11:36,590
- I mean, I've been here long enough.
- (Melanie) I saw that.
208
00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:40,195
Why didn't you go for the position
when it came up first time around?
209
00:11:40,280 --> 00:11:43,590
Well, erm, I was away at the time.
210
00:11:43,680 --> 00:11:46,069
- I took a sabbatical.
- OK.
211
00:11:46,160 --> 00:11:48,628
It was an island, a camp.
(shudders)
212
00:11:48,720 --> 00:11:52,315
One, two, three, four, five, six,
seven, eight, nine, and control.
213
00:11:55,840 --> 00:12:00,231
So, can I ask you, Julie, what do you
think are your greatest strengths?
214
00:12:00,320 --> 00:12:02,754
My greatest strengths? Oh...
215
00:12:03,880 --> 00:12:06,872
Well... erm...
216
00:12:06,960 --> 00:12:10,475
I would say that
I'm very committed to the company.
217
00:12:10,560 --> 00:12:12,630
Very loyal.
218
00:12:12,720 --> 00:12:15,473
A bit like a dog. (pants)
219
00:12:20,960 --> 00:12:22,552
You're reduced.
220
00:12:23,280 --> 00:12:25,032
And you're reduced.
221
00:12:25,120 --> 00:12:26,917
- What are you doing?
- Not much.
222
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:29,673
I can see that.
What's the cheapest thing you've got?
223
00:12:30,800 --> 00:12:32,392
- We've got...
- Hurry up.
224
00:12:32,480 --> 00:12:36,393
..these wonderful reduced
pickled onions for ??1 .99.
225
00:12:36,480 --> 00:12:38,436
Give us a look. Perfect.
226
00:12:39,280 --> 00:12:41,748
That's my weekend sorted. See you later.
227
00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:48,398
Julie, what would you do, say, if you
caught a pregnant woman shoplifting?
228
00:12:48,480 --> 00:12:52,234
I've no time for those sort of games.
Hand up the jumper straight away.
229
00:12:52,320 --> 00:12:53,355
Pardon?
230
00:12:53,440 --> 00:12:57,877
Nine out of ten times it's not a baby,
it's a frozen chicken.
231
00:12:57,960 --> 00:13:01,191
You must come down hard on those types.
Even if they are pregnant,
232
00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:04,750
they still act as if they're
the only people who can have kids.
233
00:13:04,840 --> 00:13:06,034
(Melanie) I see.
234
00:13:06,120 --> 00:13:09,829
What about the future? Where do you
see yourself in ten years' time?
235
00:13:09,920 --> 00:13:12,639
I don't know.
Erm, maybe you should ask Gavin.
236
00:13:13,880 --> 00:13:18,476
I mean, in terms of promotions and
things like that. Not having kids with.
237
00:13:20,080 --> 00:13:22,674
Deputy manager.
I'd like to be deputy manager.
238
00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:25,194
I work well as an individual
and as a team.
239
00:13:25,280 --> 00:13:27,555
OK. Well, thank you very much.
240
00:13:27,640 --> 00:13:30,871
- Yes, thank you, Julie. Good luck.
- Thank you.
241
00:13:34,680 --> 00:13:36,671
Thank you.
242
00:13:40,080 --> 00:13:43,197
Are you quite sure she's
the ideal fit for the job, Gavin?
243
00:13:43,280 --> 00:13:47,592
She doesn't interview well, but she
knows the job like the back of hand.
244
00:13:47,680 --> 00:13:48,999
If you say so.
245
00:13:49,080 --> 00:13:51,992
Can I say, I think it would
send out a positive message
246
00:13:52,080 --> 00:13:55,038
if we were to promote from within.
247
00:13:55,120 --> 00:13:59,113
She was supposed to do
the counting thing silently.
248
00:14:00,640 --> 00:14:03,552
- Have you got a loyalty card?
- Sorry, no.
249
00:14:03,640 --> 00:14:06,200
That's 75.55 altogether, please.
250
00:14:06,280 --> 00:14:08,794
- What?
- 75.55.
251
00:14:08,880 --> 00:14:10,472
Jesus wept.
252
00:14:12,280 --> 00:14:14,350
- Put that back, please?
- Sure.
253
00:14:14,440 --> 00:14:15,998
And that.
254
00:14:17,280 --> 00:14:19,475
Actually, stick the lot back for me.
255
00:14:19,560 --> 00:14:22,597
Great value?
You're having a fucking laugh.
256
00:14:27,840 --> 00:14:30,798
My life, no.
257
00:14:30,880 --> 00:14:32,438
My life is a disaster zone
258
00:14:32,520 --> 00:14:37,435
cos I spend my days chasing guys like
you around the block. That's my life.
259
00:14:39,280 --> 00:14:41,794
Pacino. Have you seen Heat?
260
00:14:41,880 --> 00:14:45,395
No, I don't really like modern films.
I prefer slapstick.
261
00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:49,268
He's amazing. A lot of people
say Robert De Niro is the best actor,
262
00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,557
but that's a very cliched choice.
It's got to be Al Pacino.
263
00:14:52,640 --> 00:14:56,872
I think you're a bit like
that actor John, er, what's his face?
264
00:14:56,960 --> 00:14:59,838
- John Gielgud?
- Inman.
265
00:15:02,040 --> 00:15:05,589
You stupid, stupid idiot.
266
00:15:05,680 --> 00:15:07,671
Don't like pregnant women?
267
00:15:09,080 --> 00:15:10,718
- ( Gavin) Julie.
- Oh!
268
00:15:10,800 --> 00:15:14,190
Don't come in, Gavin.
I'm covered in mascara.
269
00:15:14,280 --> 00:15:17,829
- I'm just checking you're OK.
- I'm not OK.
270
00:15:17,920 --> 00:15:19,717
I looked like a right lemon there.
271
00:15:19,800 --> 00:15:22,360
God only knows
what they must think of me.
272
00:15:22,440 --> 00:15:29,073
And now here I am,
blubbing like I'm on Surprise, Surprise.
273
00:15:30,080 --> 00:15:31,593
You got the job.
274
00:15:31,680 --> 00:15:35,036
I've a good mind to pack everything up
and run off to the Cairngorms.
275
00:15:35,120 --> 00:15:37,236
Julie, Julie.
276
00:15:38,480 --> 00:15:40,198
You've got the job.
277
00:15:42,080 --> 00:15:44,469
- I've got the job?
- They said you were perfect.
278
00:15:44,560 --> 00:15:46,118
Did they really?
279
00:15:46,200 --> 00:15:49,158
Well, they said
you defied expectations.
280
00:15:49,240 --> 00:15:53,392
My God. Thank you so much, Gavin.
281
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:55,914
Thank you. Thank you.
282
00:15:56,680 --> 00:15:58,193
Well done, Julie. Bravo.
283
00:15:58,280 --> 00:16:00,555
It must have been
the way you made me breathe.
284
00:16:00,640 --> 00:16:04,792
No, no, you did it all by yourself.
Well done.
285
00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:08,395
And there's been some good news
for yours truly as well.
286
00:16:08,480 --> 00:16:10,869
Fantastic. What is it?
287
00:16:10,960 --> 00:16:14,555
Well, since old Craig Falcon
got the heave-ho at head office,
288
00:16:14,640 --> 00:16:16,835
they're looking for a new area manager.
289
00:16:16,920 --> 00:16:18,194
About bloody time.
290
00:16:18,280 --> 00:16:21,716
They think I might be
the ideal candidate to fill his shoes.
291
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:24,792
Amazing. Wait. But that means...
292
00:16:24,880 --> 00:16:27,189
I'll be an area manager. I know.
293
00:16:27,280 --> 00:16:32,400
Area manager?
But you can't. You can't leave.
294
00:16:32,480 --> 00:16:36,951
This is your Valco.
You made this store what it is.
295
00:16:37,040 --> 00:16:40,749
We all have to move on at some point.
Now that you're deputy manager,
296
00:16:40,840 --> 00:16:44,230
I have every faith that
the good work here will now continue.
297
00:16:44,320 --> 00:16:47,392
But I wanted to be your deputy manager.
298
00:16:47,480 --> 00:16:51,268
I'm sure I'll be popping in often enough
to check up on you, Julie.
299
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:52,793
(sobs)
300
00:16:52,880 --> 00:16:55,394
I know.
301
00:16:55,480 --> 00:16:57,630
I almost feel like
shedding a tear myself.
302
00:16:58,200 --> 00:16:59,553
Don't need it, kid.
303
00:16:59,640 --> 00:17:02,279
- How are we looking?
- Great. When you're ready.
304
00:17:02,360 --> 00:17:06,433
Position right? I act better
with the right side of my face.
305
00:17:06,520 --> 00:17:09,512
- It's great.
- OK. Do you need a sound check?
306
00:17:09,600 --> 00:17:11,989
One, two, testicles, testicles.
One, two.
307
00:17:12,080 --> 00:17:14,116
- Mate, just go for it.
- OK, great.
308
00:17:14,200 --> 00:17:16,794
(clears throat)
309
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:18,677
(exhales)
310
00:17:20,880 --> 00:17:23,792
Thank you for coming to Valco.
That's the wrong line?
311
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:26,314
- That's great.
- I want to make sure I nail it.
312
00:17:26,400 --> 00:17:28,516
What's the line again, fella?
313
00:17:28,600 --> 00:17:33,390
- Thank you for shopping at Valco.
- OK, yeah. Got it, got it. OK.
314
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,675
Lights, camera, action.
315
00:17:37,280 --> 00:17:40,590
Andy Richmond's the name.
Butchery is my trade.
316
00:17:40,680 --> 00:17:44,992
I live to serve you. You, the customer.
317
00:17:45,080 --> 00:17:46,798
Thank you.
318
00:17:46,880 --> 00:17:48,791
Thank you for shopping...
319
00:17:50,440 --> 00:17:52,237
..at Valco.
320
00:17:54,600 --> 00:17:57,478
Can't teach that shit.
See you, buddy. Good luck, boys.
321
00:18:11,200 --> 00:18:14,078
Slight worry I have
is I may have had too much presence.
322
00:18:14,160 --> 00:18:17,755
I'm more of a film actor.
I'm not sure TV can contain me.
323
00:18:17,840 --> 00:18:21,230
I saw a 40-inch screen in Dixons, Andy.
Would you fit into that?
324
00:18:21,320 --> 00:18:23,197
With his fat head? I doubt it.
325
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,758
( Gavin) Come and join us.
326
00:18:26,880 --> 00:18:29,394
Er, Wagi, Tom, come in a second.
327
00:18:29,480 --> 00:18:32,278
Baker boys. Fabulous baker boys,
come and join us.
328
00:18:32,360 --> 00:18:35,352
Can I have your attention
for two shakes of a lamb's tail?
329
00:18:35,440 --> 00:18:36,668
The Bafta goes to...
330
00:18:36,760 --> 00:18:40,389
- I have an announcement to make.
- Who's gonna be in the advert?
331
00:18:40,480 --> 00:18:42,710
We won't know that for a while yet.
332
00:18:42,800 --> 00:18:45,268
This is far more important than that.
333
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:49,956
I'm pleased to say
that Julie has been promoted
334
00:18:50,040 --> 00:18:53,191
and she is now deputy manager.
335
00:18:54,960 --> 00:18:56,598
(Margaret) Good old Julie.
336
00:18:59,960 --> 00:19:03,999
Would you like to say a few words there
for us, Julie?
337
00:19:04,080 --> 00:19:07,072
Thank you, erm, very much.
338
00:19:10,600 --> 00:19:13,717
- Sorry.
- ( Gavin) It's been an emotional day.
339
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,314
Well done, Julie. Come on, everyone.
340
00:19:16,400 --> 00:19:20,552
For she's a jolly good fellow,
for she's a jolly good fellow
341
00:19:20,640 --> 00:19:22,995
For she's a jolly good fellow
342
00:19:23,080 --> 00:19:27,278
Yes, absolutely, carry on. They're
still shopping, so we're not stopping.
343
00:19:27,360 --> 00:19:30,113
- Come on. Pull yourself together.
- Oh, Gavin.
344
00:19:30,200 --> 00:19:32,191
There's customers on the floor.
345
00:19:37,280 --> 00:19:39,191
Katie.
346
00:19:39,280 --> 00:19:41,191
Mental, eh?
347
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:44,795
- I knew she wanted the job, but Jesus.
- Yeah. I know.
348
00:19:44,880 --> 00:19:48,509
- Not gonna change your mind, are you?
- It's booked. I can't.
349
00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:50,989
- What if I change the date?
- You can't, Kieran.
350
00:19:51,080 --> 00:19:55,073
- It's not a dentist appointment.
- I'm sure Emma will let me.
351
00:20:00,680 --> 00:20:02,636
Alright, she won't let me, but...
352
00:20:02,720 --> 00:20:05,280
Why are you so bothered
about me being there anyway?
353
00:20:09,840 --> 00:20:11,671
I dunno. I just...
354
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:15,878
I am...
I'm doing the right thing, aren't I?
355
00:20:15,960 --> 00:20:18,155
It's nothing to do with me.
I don't know.
356
00:20:18,240 --> 00:20:22,791
I'm rubbish at making decisions.
I just don't know what to do any more.
357
00:20:22,880 --> 00:20:25,110
Let me have another crack
at this speech.
358
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:27,714
- Not now, Andy.
- It was Martin Luther King's.
359
00:20:27,800 --> 00:20:31,509
- But I've changed the words...
- Just fuck off, Andy, yeah?
360
00:20:32,280 --> 00:20:35,477
You know what?
Stick your wedding up your arse.
361
00:20:39,080 --> 00:20:42,436
- What am I meant to do?
- It's simple, Kieran.
362
00:20:42,520 --> 00:20:46,991
You've just got to ask yourself
are you in love?
363
00:20:54,040 --> 00:20:55,314
You're right.
364
00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:00,350
You really are rubbish
at making decisions.
365
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:16,199
- (girls) Night.
- Bye.
366
00:21:34,120 --> 00:21:35,633
Valco's got it all.
367
00:21:35,720 --> 00:21:38,757
Freshly picked oranges and lots more.
368
00:21:38,840 --> 00:21:41,957
Steaks and mince! Mmm, yes please.
369
00:21:42,040 --> 00:21:44,156
Ready-made pasta meals, perfect.
370
00:21:46,080 --> 00:21:49,072
And sparkling wine,
just what the doctor ordered.
371
00:21:50,080 --> 00:21:52,674
Hen's eggs only ??2.
372
00:21:52,760 --> 00:21:54,637
Valco serves you right.
373
00:21:56,080 --> 00:21:58,469
Thank you for shopping at Valco.
374
00:21:58,519 --> 00:22:03,069
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