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1
00:00:10,051 --> 00:00:10,927
Where's Carter?
2
00:00:12,137 --> 00:00:14,139
Um, he's actually sick.
3
00:00:17,475 --> 00:00:19,728
Andy! May is here.
4
00:00:25,942 --> 00:00:26,776
Quickly.
5
00:00:28,945 --> 00:00:30,363
Hey, May.
6
00:00:35,744 --> 00:00:37,203
Is everything okay?
7
00:00:37,537 --> 00:00:40,165
After our session with you and Carter,
we really...
8
00:00:40,665 --> 00:00:43,543
opened up to each other
about our wants and needs.
9
00:00:44,586 --> 00:00:46,296
I want to be tickled.
10
00:00:46,421 --> 00:00:47,589
And I want...
11
00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:50,091
to beat the shit out of him.
12
00:00:51,092 --> 00:00:53,053
So we worked something out.
13
00:00:53,344 --> 00:00:55,805
She tickles me until she gets mad, and...
14
00:00:56,473 --> 00:00:57,724
then she hits me.
15
00:00:58,933 --> 00:01:00,435
Best of both worlds, right?
16
00:01:01,519 --> 00:01:02,353
But...
17
00:01:02,729 --> 00:01:05,106
Every time I lift my hand... Hmm.
18
00:01:07,150 --> 00:01:07,984
See?
19
00:01:09,736 --> 00:01:10,570
Um...
20
00:01:10,945 --> 00:01:12,322
Can you and Carter help us?
21
00:01:13,114 --> 00:01:14,199
Oh, um...
22
00:01:15,700 --> 00:01:16,826
I'm actually not...
23
00:01:18,453 --> 00:01:21,414
sure if Carter is willing
to work with me anymore.
24
00:01:22,332 --> 00:01:23,249
I think I...
25
00:01:23,708 --> 00:01:25,085
majorly fucked up.
26
00:01:26,586 --> 00:01:28,963
Every couple has problems.
27
00:01:29,380 --> 00:01:30,840
It's about compromise.
28
00:01:30,924 --> 00:01:31,883
-Jinx!
-[both laugh]
29
00:01:32,050 --> 00:01:35,678
Oh, fuck! Jesus Christ. [whimpers]
30
00:01:54,072 --> 00:01:55,323
You must be Josh.
31
00:01:57,408 --> 00:01:58,243
Tiff.
32
00:02:00,036 --> 00:02:01,204
It's nice to meet you.
33
00:02:16,511 --> 00:02:17,679
[coffee pours into cup]
34
00:02:22,308 --> 00:02:23,643
Is the, uh...
35
00:02:25,145 --> 00:02:29,566
"I'm sorry, I really hate apologizing"
gluten free?
36
00:02:32,277 --> 00:02:33,236
I'm afraid not.
37
00:02:40,952 --> 00:02:41,786
I'm sorry.
38
00:02:43,288 --> 00:02:44,122
For what?
39
00:02:48,251 --> 00:02:50,712
Please don't make me do this.
40
00:02:52,380 --> 00:02:54,382
I'm the dom and you're my client.
41
00:02:58,428 --> 00:03:03,391
I'm sorry for cutting you down
and disrespecting you and not...
42
00:03:04,017 --> 00:03:05,518
treating you like my equal.
43
00:03:06,936 --> 00:03:10,648
You're my best friend and that's...
that's really fucked up for both of us.
44
00:03:15,069 --> 00:03:16,196
That was pretty good.
45
00:03:16,988 --> 00:03:19,157
A little general, a little precious,
46
00:03:20,325 --> 00:03:21,284
but serviceable.
47
00:03:21,367 --> 00:03:23,870
[door opens, bell rings]
48
00:03:24,204 --> 00:03:25,413
I'm sorry I tied you up.
49
00:03:26,664 --> 00:03:28,333
-I liked it.
-[chuckles]
50
00:03:28,791 --> 00:03:30,960
I liked it, too.
51
00:03:32,378 --> 00:03:33,504
I'm prone to bruising,
52
00:03:33,588 --> 00:03:37,759
but the constriction actually helped
my crippling fear of worthlessness.
53
00:03:39,260 --> 00:03:40,094
Mm.
54
00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:43,765
Are you all just gonna
stand around talking, or...
55
00:03:43,848 --> 00:03:45,016
are you gonna eat?
56
00:03:45,183 --> 00:03:48,478
[Doug] I just ate, but I can always
make some room at the end.
57
00:03:48,561 --> 00:03:49,520
I'm Doug.
58
00:03:50,355 --> 00:03:52,815
[Josh] Josh. Here, want some of this?
59
00:04:06,079 --> 00:04:07,497
God, men are fucking evil.
60
00:04:08,122 --> 00:04:09,749
[coughing]
61
00:04:11,709 --> 00:04:12,543
Noted.
62
00:04:14,337 --> 00:04:15,255
Not you, Petey.
63
00:04:15,838 --> 00:04:17,340
-[chuckles]
-You're different.
64
00:04:18,132 --> 00:04:18,967
Mm.
65
00:04:19,300 --> 00:04:20,677
[chuckling]
66
00:04:21,886 --> 00:04:22,720
Thank you...
67
00:04:24,347 --> 00:04:25,974
for saving me from prom.
68
00:04:28,268 --> 00:04:31,354
I was very available.
69
00:04:39,570 --> 00:04:40,571
What are you doing?
70
00:04:51,916 --> 00:04:56,546
No, Tiff, you don't have to do this
if you feel like you're just doing it
71
00:04:56,629 --> 00:04:59,841
because, you know, we've made it
all the way through high school,
72
00:04:59,924 --> 00:05:02,385
with never having sex, you know?
73
00:05:03,303 --> 00:05:05,596
But if you want to,
I'm totally here for it.
74
00:05:05,680 --> 00:05:07,265
-Okay, you definitely--
-Stop talking.
75
00:05:07,390 --> 00:05:09,559
[Pete] I love this dress. It's so nice.
76
00:05:09,642 --> 00:05:11,019
[Pete gasps]
77
00:05:12,103 --> 00:05:12,979
[Pete moans]
78
00:05:14,105 --> 00:05:15,440
Oh, my God.
79
00:05:16,524 --> 00:05:17,775
Oh, my God.
80
00:05:18,901 --> 00:05:21,070
-Oh, my God.
-Don't make faces like that.
81
00:05:21,154 --> 00:05:24,407
Oh, sorry, it feels so good.
It feels so good.
82
00:05:25,241 --> 00:05:26,117
My God.
83
00:05:26,951 --> 00:05:28,119
Oh, baby.
84
00:05:28,745 --> 00:05:29,662
Oh, man.
85
00:05:30,246 --> 00:05:31,873
Oh, I'm gonna, I'm gonna...
86
00:05:31,956 --> 00:05:34,083
-Don't! Don't, don't, don't!
-I'm sorry. No, I can't--
87
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:36,461
-Don't, don't, don't!
-Trust me, I can't control...
88
00:05:36,544 --> 00:05:38,421
-[moaning]
-[vehicle approaches]
89
00:05:41,841 --> 00:05:43,051
[police siren wails]
90
00:05:43,134 --> 00:05:44,719
Fuck. Fuck.
91
00:05:45,219 --> 00:05:46,346
I'm sorry.
92
00:05:46,554 --> 00:05:47,597
Shit! Look!
93
00:05:48,306 --> 00:05:50,308
-Okay, um...
-Shit!
94
00:05:51,351 --> 00:05:53,436
[engine fails to start]
95
00:05:54,687 --> 00:05:55,730
Where are you...
96
00:05:55,813 --> 00:05:57,815
Where are you... going?
97
00:05:58,858 --> 00:06:01,152
[sirens continue wailing]
98
00:06:06,491 --> 00:06:08,201
[panting]
99
00:06:10,661 --> 00:06:12,914
I'll go that way. You... you go that way.
100
00:06:14,040 --> 00:06:15,333
Why don't we just stay together?
101
00:06:16,125 --> 00:06:18,252
I don't... I don't know.
102
00:06:21,964 --> 00:06:22,882
I have to pee.
103
00:06:23,674 --> 00:06:25,510
Almost there, sweet child.
104
00:06:25,927 --> 00:06:27,929
I'm just telling you
why I'm holding my dick.
105
00:06:28,012 --> 00:06:31,015
Just don't tell him that you have to pee.
I hate when you do that.
106
00:06:31,099 --> 00:06:32,266
What should I tell him?
107
00:06:32,809 --> 00:06:34,977
I don't know.
Ask him where the bathroom is?
108
00:06:37,021 --> 00:06:38,773
We're business partners now, right?
109
00:06:38,981 --> 00:06:40,525
Everything's 50-50 split?
110
00:06:41,943 --> 00:06:44,570
More like... 60-40.
111
00:06:44,654 --> 00:06:45,571
Tiffany!
112
00:06:46,197 --> 00:06:47,490
We're equals.
113
00:06:49,242 --> 00:06:50,410
I just peed a little.
114
00:06:50,701 --> 00:06:53,162
Thank you both for coming
on such short notice.
115
00:06:53,454 --> 00:06:54,288
Of course.
116
00:06:54,914 --> 00:06:57,291
Normally we like to vet
our new clients, but...
117
00:06:58,543 --> 00:07:00,586
you made us an offer we couldn't refuse.
118
00:07:01,754 --> 00:07:02,880
Let me take your coat.
119
00:07:04,465 --> 00:07:05,299
Sure.
120
00:07:07,844 --> 00:07:09,554
They said you're the best in town.
121
00:07:11,973 --> 00:07:14,058
-Can my friend use your bathroom?
-Thanks.
122
00:07:14,434 --> 00:07:15,351
Sure.
123
00:07:15,893 --> 00:07:16,727
Thanks.
124
00:07:17,812 --> 00:07:19,522
This is, like, such a nice office.
125
00:07:22,358 --> 00:07:24,902
Do I know you from somewhere?
You look so familiar.
126
00:07:25,653 --> 00:07:27,613
I don't think we run in the same crowd.
127
00:07:28,030 --> 00:07:30,116
-Oh. Through there?
-Yeah.
128
00:07:30,199 --> 00:07:31,701
Okay, cool. Thanks.
129
00:07:37,832 --> 00:07:38,666
[lock clicks]
130
00:07:43,171 --> 00:07:44,422
Oh, shit. Um...
131
00:07:45,047 --> 00:07:46,799
Uh... Mm...
132
00:07:46,883 --> 00:07:47,758
[groans]
133
00:07:50,052 --> 00:07:51,179
Um... okay.
134
00:07:56,017 --> 00:07:57,351
Come on, come on, come on.
135
00:07:57,935 --> 00:07:58,895
Shut up.
136
00:07:59,562 --> 00:08:01,105
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
137
00:08:01,189 --> 00:08:02,857
♪ Happy birthday to you ♪
138
00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,193
♪ Happy birthday, I'm peeing ♪
139
00:08:05,276 --> 00:08:06,110
[grunts]
140
00:08:07,528 --> 00:08:08,362
So...
141
00:08:09,447 --> 00:08:12,033
on the phone you said
light BDSM and torture?
142
00:08:13,242 --> 00:08:18,289
Can I just say
you are stunningly beautiful?
143
00:08:19,832 --> 00:08:21,000
Tiffany, right?
144
00:08:21,626 --> 00:08:22,752
That's your real name.
145
00:08:24,587 --> 00:08:28,633
Um, I actually don't disclose
that information to my clients.
146
00:08:28,925 --> 00:08:29,926
I have my ways.
147
00:08:32,303 --> 00:08:33,137
Well...
148
00:08:34,222 --> 00:08:35,932
it's Mistress May to you.
149
00:08:36,849 --> 00:08:37,767
[sighs]
150
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,525
I know you.
151
00:08:48,152 --> 00:08:49,153
Shit! Oh!
152
00:08:49,862 --> 00:08:52,448
Um. Uh, okay. Okay. Oh, shit.
153
00:08:53,282 --> 00:08:55,117
Okay. Okay. Okay.
154
00:08:55,368 --> 00:08:56,452
Oh, shit! Oh, shit!
155
00:08:56,786 --> 00:08:58,663
Okay. Oh, no! Oh!
156
00:08:58,746 --> 00:09:00,081
What did I drink?
157
00:09:00,581 --> 00:09:02,375
God, it's so yellow!
158
00:09:06,837 --> 00:09:07,672
Ew.
159
00:09:10,341 --> 00:09:12,468
I hope you don't think I was being creepy.
160
00:09:13,052 --> 00:09:16,138
I just thought I want to know
who it is that I'm paying for.
161
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:21,978
See, that's the thing.
You're not paying for me.
162
00:09:22,853 --> 00:09:23,980
I'm not for sale.
163
00:09:29,318 --> 00:09:30,361
My house,
164
00:09:31,028 --> 00:09:32,321
my rules.
165
00:09:33,614 --> 00:09:35,032
I'll pay anything you want
166
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:37,034
to do anything I want.
167
00:09:41,831 --> 00:09:43,749
Hands made of pee.
168
00:09:44,417 --> 00:09:45,960
No. No, that's stupid.
169
00:09:47,962 --> 00:09:49,755
[exhales] Actually, um...
170
00:09:52,508 --> 00:09:54,927
I'm feeling pretty uncomfortable
right now, so...
171
00:09:55,219 --> 00:09:57,388
we're gonna come back
when you further understand
172
00:09:57,471 --> 00:09:59,473
what kind of services that we provide.
173
00:10:00,600 --> 00:10:01,434
Pete!
174
00:10:02,226 --> 00:10:03,811
Pete, it's time to go.
175
00:10:05,104 --> 00:10:06,147
One second!
176
00:10:07,398 --> 00:10:08,899
You don't have to worry about Pete.
177
00:10:10,610 --> 00:10:13,029
-I locked him in the bathroom.
-[blade scrapes on surface]
178
00:10:13,613 --> 00:10:15,072
So you and I can have some...
179
00:10:17,408 --> 00:10:18,284
alone time.
180
00:10:18,367 --> 00:10:19,243
Fuck.
181
00:10:19,994 --> 00:10:21,537
[sighs] God...
182
00:10:22,455 --> 00:10:25,458
It is always you pretentious,
rich limp-dicks
183
00:10:25,541 --> 00:10:27,627
that are the most insane.
184
00:10:27,710 --> 00:10:28,628
[chuckles]
185
00:10:36,344 --> 00:10:37,887
Never lay your hands on a mistress!
186
00:10:41,432 --> 00:10:42,391
Fuck.
187
00:10:43,309 --> 00:10:44,185
[Tiff] Pete!
188
00:10:53,527 --> 00:10:54,403
Tiff!
189
00:10:56,739 --> 00:11:00,618
You are not Christian fucking Bale.
190
00:11:01,202 --> 00:11:04,205
Oh, you are a feisty one, aren't you?
191
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:08,042
Oh, you have no idea.
192
00:11:08,876 --> 00:11:09,835
-[grunts]
-Pete!
193
00:11:10,586 --> 00:11:11,462
Fuck!
194
00:11:23,057 --> 00:11:24,975
You gonna try and stab me?
195
00:11:25,059 --> 00:11:26,227
You little faggot.
196
00:11:28,104 --> 00:11:29,105
First of all...
197
00:11:29,980 --> 00:11:31,315
I'm a big faggot.
198
00:11:32,108 --> 00:11:33,067
Secondly...
199
00:11:34,026 --> 00:11:35,069
I'm not.
200
00:11:35,653 --> 00:11:36,654
But she might.
201
00:11:37,697 --> 00:11:38,823
[screams]
202
00:11:39,740 --> 00:11:40,908
Pete, run!
203
00:11:41,492 --> 00:11:42,952
Come on! Let's go!
204
00:11:43,411 --> 00:11:44,412
[man screams]
205
00:11:44,870 --> 00:11:45,830
Okay! Okay!
206
00:11:47,498 --> 00:11:49,417
I peed on your floor, motherfucker.
207
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:50,876
Fuck you!
208
00:11:53,546 --> 00:11:54,714
I'm calling the police!
209
00:12:01,762 --> 00:12:03,848
Okay. Why don't we just tell
the police what happened?
210
00:12:03,931 --> 00:12:05,433
You think they're going to believe us?
211
00:12:05,516 --> 00:12:07,184
We're practically prostitutes
in their eyes.
212
00:12:07,852 --> 00:12:10,563
Fine. You go one way,
I go the other, right?
213
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:16,527
Come on.
214
00:12:18,654 --> 00:12:19,989
[sirens wailing]
13716
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