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They're creepy and they're kooky
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Mysterious and spooky
4
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They're altogether ooky
5
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The Addams family
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The house is a museum
7
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When people come to see 'em
8
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They really are a scream
9
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The Addams family
10
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Neat.
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Sweet.
12
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Petite.
13
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So get a witch's shawl on
14
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A broomstick you can crawl on
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We're gonna pay a call on
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The Addams family
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Concentrate.
18
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Concentrate.
19
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Are you concentrating?
20
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Assiduously, my dear.
21
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Gomez, if you can hear me,
you are not concentrating.
22
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Oh, sorry.
23
00:01:24,513 --> 00:01:27,073
I suppose Madame Curie
had days like this, too.
24
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Let's get on with it.
25
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Get your notebook, Uncle Fester.
26
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Goody!
27
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Ready.
28
00:01:42,440 --> 00:01:44,431
At exactly 10:28,
29
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subject's body stiff as a board.
30
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Subject stiff as a board.
31
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Indicating complete mental control.
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00:01:56,948 --> 00:01:57,937
Control.
33
00:01:58,408 --> 00:02:00,160
10:28 and a half.
34
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Entered final phase of Addams experiment
35
00:02:04,286 --> 00:02:08,279
to prove that the human mind can triumph
over the law of gravity.
36
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Gravity.
37
00:02:10,123 --> 00:02:11,192
Positions, please.
38
00:02:15,543 --> 00:02:17,534
Now remember, we must pull together.
39
00:02:17,877 --> 00:02:19,026
Watch for the signal.
40
00:02:20,129 --> 00:02:21,118
Now!
41
00:02:29,593 --> 00:02:30,992
That gravity's a tough one.
42
00:02:32,136 --> 00:02:35,048
Darling, are you positive
you were concentrating?
43
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Certainly.
44
00:02:38,848 --> 00:02:39,837
Did it work?
45
00:02:40,016 --> 00:02:43,326
Not quite. You were doing fine
until you hit the floor.
46
00:02:43,684 --> 00:02:46,676
Hey, that's easy.
We could just lower the floor.
47
00:02:47,395 --> 00:02:49,351
I think Fester's got something there.
48
00:02:50,730 --> 00:02:51,719
Mail's in.
49
00:02:56,817 --> 00:02:57,966
Thank you, Thing.
50
00:02:59,444 --> 00:03:01,719
Oh, it's for you, darling.
I wonder what that is?
51
00:03:01,903 --> 00:03:05,976
My new mark seven, custom-built,
grand prix croquet mallet.
52
00:03:06,781 --> 00:03:08,373
I stole it for $200.
53
00:03:10,242 --> 00:03:11,391
Thank you, Thing.
54
00:03:12,660 --> 00:03:15,128
Occupant. Occupant.
55
00:03:15,828 --> 00:03:18,183
Occupant. Occupant.
56
00:03:18,830 --> 00:03:20,502
So nice to be remembered.
57
00:03:22,791 --> 00:03:25,305
Oh, Uncle Fester. Here's one for you, dear.
58
00:03:29,045 --> 00:03:30,398
It's from her.
59
00:03:31,463 --> 00:03:32,976
Diana Delf.
60
00:03:38,634 --> 00:03:40,067
Uncle Fester, what's come over you?
61
00:03:41,635 --> 00:03:46,186
She sent it to me, personally.
I've been writing to her for months.
62
00:03:46,471 --> 00:03:50,066
Ever since I saw her in the show.
63
00:03:50,307 --> 00:03:53,617
Just a moment, you'd better let me do it.
You'll tear it.
64
00:03:57,520 --> 00:04:00,592
- Oh, it's a picture!
- Oh, me first.
65
00:04:04,107 --> 00:04:06,416
It's her! It's her!
66
00:04:06,733 --> 00:04:09,122
Let me see, Uncle Fester, let me see.
67
00:04:14,863 --> 00:04:16,774
Oh, by george, she's a dazzler.
68
00:04:17,406 --> 00:04:20,921
Boy, I gotta get right upstairs
and write her an answer.
69
00:04:21,200 --> 00:04:22,349
Oh, my Diana!
70
00:04:24,536 --> 00:04:27,209
He's Addams all the way.
Can't resist a pretty face.
71
00:04:32,457 --> 00:04:36,006
Now, if you'll observe, my dear,
croquet is a combination of two things.
72
00:04:36,876 --> 00:04:42,633
Balance, timing, peripheral vision,
superb coordination and a killer's instinct.
73
00:04:44,422 --> 00:04:46,538
- Your shot, my dear.
- Oh.
74
00:04:53,344 --> 00:04:55,380
Gomez, I'm worried.
75
00:05:02,475 --> 00:05:04,625
Querida, you've forgotten everything
I've taught you.
76
00:05:05,310 --> 00:05:06,299
Sorry, darling.
77
00:05:08,186 --> 00:05:10,142
Congratulate me, everybody.
78
00:05:10,313 --> 00:05:14,625
Congratulations! That is wonderful.
What happened?
79
00:05:14,899 --> 00:05:16,890
I'm gonna get married.
80
00:05:17,692 --> 00:05:21,401
I just proposed to
the sweetest little girl in the entire world.
81
00:05:21,653 --> 00:05:25,532
Oh, well, that's very sweet, Uncle Fester.
But can you support a wife?
82
00:05:25,780 --> 00:05:29,534
Oh, details, details.
Gomez, can you see your way clear
83
00:05:29,783 --> 00:05:31,933
to advance me a nickel
for a postage stamp?
84
00:05:32,117 --> 00:05:33,470
No, but I can give you a check.
85
00:05:33,618 --> 00:05:37,372
Oh, well, while you're making it out,
make it for, say, even 10,000.
86
00:05:38,371 --> 00:05:40,441
- For stamps?
- Well, no, you know,
87
00:05:40,622 --> 00:05:44,695
incidentals like the minister,
the marriage license, rice,
88
00:05:44,958 --> 00:05:47,188
- attorney.
- Attorney?
89
00:05:47,376 --> 00:05:49,765
- I may get divorced.
- Divorced?
90
00:05:49,961 --> 00:05:53,636
You know, be prepared.
I remember that from when I was a scout.
91
00:06:03,011 --> 00:06:05,923
There must be something wrong
with this carpet.
92
00:06:07,680 --> 00:06:08,829
Well, where's the checkbook?
93
00:06:08,972 --> 00:06:11,202
- Oh, I'll get it.
- Uncle Fester, just a moment.
94
00:06:11,724 --> 00:06:13,237
You've never even met this girl.
95
00:06:13,767 --> 00:06:16,839
You run a great risk of ruining your life
and hers, as well.
96
00:06:17,394 --> 00:06:18,429
Good thinking, my dear.
97
00:06:20,062 --> 00:06:21,495
Then I don't get the check?
98
00:06:22,355 --> 00:06:23,344
Maybe next time.
99
00:06:24,065 --> 00:06:26,499
Oh, okay. I'll send it COD.
100
00:06:31,569 --> 00:06:33,639
Oh, Gomez, it's breaking my heart.
101
00:06:33,820 --> 00:06:36,050
Mine, too.
This mallet isn't worth a plugged nickel.
102
00:06:37,406 --> 00:06:40,955
Darling, I was referring to Uncle Fester
and that girl.
103
00:06:41,200 --> 00:06:45,955
Oh. Oh, yes. Well, I suppose her parents
must be as upset as we are.
104
00:06:46,244 --> 00:06:49,281
- I'm sure they would be, if they were here.
- But they're not.
105
00:06:52,123 --> 00:06:56,002
But they could be.
At least, her mother could be.
106
00:06:56,292 --> 00:06:57,964
And she doesn't even have to
make the trip.
107
00:06:59,586 --> 00:07:03,101
Querida, I do believe
you're up to some mischief.
108
00:07:04,714 --> 00:07:05,703
Yes.
109
00:07:07,507 --> 00:07:09,737
What do you think?
Do you think I'll fool Uncle Fester?
110
00:07:10,509 --> 00:07:12,864
- You can fool me.
- Oh, mon cher.
111
00:07:13,427 --> 00:07:14,906
But not when you speak French.
112
00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:18,928
Darling, please, my make-up.
113
00:07:19,764 --> 00:07:20,753
Yes, make-up.
114
00:07:27,102 --> 00:07:28,615
Nothing wrong with that mallet.
115
00:07:31,396 --> 00:07:33,671
Diana's mama.
116
00:07:37,025 --> 00:07:43,055
Mother! Just looking at you makes me feel
like I've known you for a long time.
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00:07:44,779 --> 00:07:45,768
Too long.
118
00:07:47,322 --> 00:07:50,598
Say, where's what's her name,
your daughter?
119
00:07:50,824 --> 00:07:54,612
Just a minute.
I've got a few questions to ask you.
120
00:07:55,160 --> 00:07:56,149
Sit down.
121
00:07:57,370 --> 00:07:59,361
How much money have you got?
122
00:08:00,288 --> 00:08:03,086
Well, that's hard to say.
123
00:08:04,457 --> 00:08:05,651
What's your salary?
124
00:08:08,168 --> 00:08:10,045
That's hard to say, too.
125
00:08:10,378 --> 00:08:12,687
I'll give you something easy to say.
126
00:08:14,005 --> 00:08:15,074
What do you do?
127
00:08:19,216 --> 00:08:20,251
I hang around.
128
00:08:21,426 --> 00:08:26,420
I help my nephew play with the trains
and I shoot off the cannon.
129
00:08:27,304 --> 00:08:29,772
And I clean out the alligator's nest.
130
00:08:31,182 --> 00:08:34,777
I sit in my tree, you know.
131
00:08:35,643 --> 00:08:36,712
I know.
132
00:08:37,644 --> 00:08:39,953
You're one of those stage-door johnnies.
133
00:08:42,647 --> 00:08:45,036
Mother, you're acting very suspicious.
134
00:08:45,482 --> 00:08:48,201
I got a little suspicious
135
00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:53,997
when I had to pay five cents postage due
on your proposal to my daughter.
136
00:08:54,320 --> 00:08:55,469
You owe me a nickel.
137
00:08:57,030 --> 00:08:58,509
You need it all at once?
138
00:08:58,990 --> 00:09:00,218
For what?
139
00:09:00,616 --> 00:09:02,493
'Cause I'm kind of strapped right now.
140
00:09:02,658 --> 00:09:07,448
Forget it! Just forget the whole thing.
And forget my daughter, too.
141
00:09:07,745 --> 00:09:10,543
She's gonna marry a man
that can support her.
142
00:09:10,788 --> 00:09:11,777
All right!
143
00:09:13,832 --> 00:09:17,825
All right, if that's what it takes.
I'll get her, you'll see.
144
00:09:18,293 --> 00:09:19,931
I'll be a big success.
145
00:09:20,085 --> 00:09:23,316
I'll throw gold and diamonds
right at your daughter's feet.
146
00:09:24,630 --> 00:09:27,986
I warn you, she's got very big feet.
147
00:09:29,841 --> 00:09:34,153
"Prospectors, send $1 for
guaranteed treasure map.
148
00:09:36,512 --> 00:09:38,548
"Raise mink in your own home."
149
00:09:40,014 --> 00:09:41,766
No, that's no good.
150
00:09:42,474 --> 00:09:45,352
"We can release the hidden power
within you.
151
00:09:46,268 --> 00:09:50,022
"Let us set your feet on
the road to fame and fortune.
152
00:09:50,395 --> 00:09:54,707
"Complete correspondence course
from the Greer Business College."
153
00:09:55,440 --> 00:09:56,429
That's it!
154
00:09:59,484 --> 00:10:01,600
Sweetheart, you'll be proud of me yet.
155
00:10:01,777 --> 00:10:04,575
I'll throw diamonds and rubies
at your big feet.
156
00:10:09,114 --> 00:10:11,708
Now that you've completedyour entire course,
157
00:10:11,908 --> 00:10:14,138
you may consider yourself a graduate
158
00:10:14,326 --> 00:10:17,398
of the Greer Business Collegeof Correspondence.
159
00:10:17,619 --> 00:10:20,053
A few weeks ago,you entered this institution
160
00:10:20,246 --> 00:10:23,761
a slack- jawed, glassy-eyed jellyfish.
161
00:10:24,290 --> 00:10:28,806
But today, by following our teaching,you have unlocked your potential,
162
00:10:29,085 --> 00:10:33,761
transformed yourself into dynamic,hard-hitting executive material.
163
00:10:34,213 --> 00:10:37,523
You've already chosen your first target.Hit it hard.
164
00:10:44,135 --> 00:10:47,013
Now, the world is your oyster.
165
00:10:47,220 --> 00:10:49,131
Goody! I like oysters.
166
00:10:49,305 --> 00:10:51,535
You have a date with destiny.
167
00:11:04,105 --> 00:11:05,140
Fester...
168
00:11:05,273 --> 00:11:09,232
Gomez, this is the most beautiful moment
of my whole life.
169
00:11:09,484 --> 00:11:11,998
I can't wait for my first class reunion.
170
00:11:12,193 --> 00:11:15,583
Now, Fester, this job nonsense
has gone far enough.
171
00:11:15,821 --> 00:11:21,578
Oh, careful there, Gomez. You're talking
to a dynamic, hard-hitting executive.
172
00:11:26,660 --> 00:11:30,448
- Really, Fester...
- Sir to you. And look at you.
173
00:11:30,704 --> 00:11:33,537
Just look at yourself. Take inventory.
174
00:11:34,707 --> 00:11:39,303
That ridiculous suit.
Those preposterous high-button shoes.
175
00:11:39,876 --> 00:11:45,394
No class. No style. No appeal.
Things that I have always had.
176
00:11:45,880 --> 00:11:47,108
Really, Fester, I...
177
00:11:47,256 --> 00:11:50,805
Now, look, I'll do the thinking around here
and do you know why?
178
00:11:51,050 --> 00:11:55,680
Because I used to be a slack-jawed,
glassy-eyed jellyfish, just like you.
179
00:11:55,969 --> 00:11:59,803
But I unlocked my potential.
I became a new man.
180
00:12:01,723 --> 00:12:04,032
Hey, Gomez, I may even change my name.
181
00:12:04,766 --> 00:12:07,803
- Fester, what...
- I'm sorry, I'm very busy.
182
00:12:09,811 --> 00:12:10,800
Busy doing what?
183
00:12:12,396 --> 00:12:14,751
Well, I'll think of something. Good day, sir.
184
00:12:24,361 --> 00:12:26,238
- Well?
- It's worse than we thought.
185
00:12:26,404 --> 00:12:29,123
- What did he say?
- He said my shoes were preposterous.
186
00:12:29,322 --> 00:12:30,675
Well, they do need polishing.
187
00:12:33,158 --> 00:12:35,956
That I was a glassy-eyed,
slacked-jawed jellyfish.
188
00:12:36,452 --> 00:12:39,205
I better think up an answer to that.
I hear it fairly often.
189
00:12:39,829 --> 00:12:42,980
That's nonsense.
I'm going to demand an apology.
190
00:12:43,206 --> 00:12:44,275
There you are.
191
00:12:47,458 --> 00:12:51,007
Uncle Fester,
I think you and I had better have a talk.
192
00:12:51,252 --> 00:12:55,165
Oh, sorry, a big day.
First stop, Thaddeus P. Logan.
193
00:12:55,421 --> 00:12:57,332
Big business tycoon.
194
00:12:57,506 --> 00:13:00,896
- Do you have an appointment with him?
- No, but I think I can sandwich him in.
195
00:13:03,134 --> 00:13:07,093
Uncle Fester, wouldn't you rather
sit up in your tree house?
196
00:13:07,595 --> 00:13:10,667
- My tree house.
- It's more you.
197
00:13:11,556 --> 00:13:12,545
That's true.
198
00:13:13,640 --> 00:13:17,110
But I owe it to my beautiful Diana
to be a big wheel.
199
00:13:17,351 --> 00:13:19,660
And I am. It said so on the record.
200
00:13:21,728 --> 00:13:26,244
Uncle Fester, how would you like
a nice new cannon?
201
00:13:27,482 --> 00:13:30,679
- A new cannon?
- Come with me.
202
00:13:33,527 --> 00:13:35,916
Right over here.
203
00:13:37,905 --> 00:13:39,657
Tish, that's French.
204
00:13:41,782 --> 00:13:45,013
Darling, please. Let's concentrate
on Uncle Fester's problem.
205
00:13:46,285 --> 00:13:49,800
Oh, yes. Yes, Uncle Fester's problem.
206
00:13:50,204 --> 00:13:51,273
But I'm next.
207
00:13:51,913 --> 00:13:55,508
Fester, give up all this
big business nonsense
208
00:13:55,749 --> 00:13:57,262
and the cannon is yours.
209
00:13:58,500 --> 00:14:01,139
You make it very difficult for me, Gomez.
210
00:14:01,794 --> 00:14:02,863
I love Diana.
211
00:14:03,586 --> 00:14:06,384
I dream of running barefoot
through her beard.
212
00:14:08,089 --> 00:14:11,206
Fester, you mean you'd give all this up
for a woman?
213
00:14:11,424 --> 00:14:13,062
That's kid's stuff.
214
00:14:15,969 --> 00:14:17,482
You rang?
215
00:14:17,887 --> 00:14:20,560
No, but, Lurch, you can get the car out.
216
00:14:20,972 --> 00:14:23,770
I have a date with a very important oyster.
217
00:14:39,566 --> 00:14:44,162
Well, I tell you, J.D., I'll let you have
the whole 20,000 shares at $50 a share.
218
00:14:45,653 --> 00:14:46,847
You'll pay $25?
219
00:14:47,529 --> 00:14:49,645
What are you trying to do, J.D., ruin me?
220
00:14:51,031 --> 00:14:53,784
Those shares are worth 50
if they're worth a penny.
221
00:14:53,991 --> 00:14:56,425
It's 50 or nothing.
222
00:14:57,869 --> 00:15:00,747
- What the...
- Play it cool, he'll call back.
223
00:15:00,954 --> 00:15:02,273
Who the devil are you?
224
00:15:02,413 --> 00:15:06,531
Let's face it, J.D., you need a man like me.
I'm magnetic.
225
00:15:08,583 --> 00:15:09,652
I'm hard-hitting!
226
00:15:13,044 --> 00:15:14,033
Hello.
227
00:15:14,879 --> 00:15:15,868
J. D?
228
00:15:17,422 --> 00:15:18,537
You will pay 50?
229
00:15:20,090 --> 00:15:21,159
It's a deal.
230
00:15:23,384 --> 00:15:24,373
Will you have a cigar?
231
00:15:25,176 --> 00:15:26,609
Thank you, sir.
232
00:15:36,141 --> 00:15:38,894
Well, good evening, Morticia, Gomez.
233
00:15:39,226 --> 00:15:40,659
Uncle Fester, dear.
234
00:15:41,603 --> 00:15:43,992
- Boy, am I bushed.
- Now, look, Fester...
235
00:15:44,229 --> 00:15:46,299
Sorry, I'm busy.
236
00:15:47,356 --> 00:15:50,154
Working on a $15 million deal.
237
00:15:50,733 --> 00:15:53,930
You better make that $20 million.
I hate odd numbers.
238
00:15:57,195 --> 00:16:02,349
- $20 million. The poor dear's sick.
- We'd better get a psychiatrist.
239
00:16:03,074 --> 00:16:04,905
I'll look up one in the classified.
240
00:16:07,576 --> 00:16:09,771
Maybe he can explain this, too.
241
00:16:12,037 --> 00:16:17,191
Now, look, Logan. You may be the boss,
but if you want to talk to me
242
00:16:17,499 --> 00:16:19,137
you will have to come over here.
243
00:16:19,292 --> 00:16:22,762
- All right, all right. I'll come over there.
- Now that's better.
244
00:16:24,003 --> 00:16:27,916
Now, let me see, where was I? Oh, yes.
245
00:16:30,048 --> 00:16:32,039
You rang?
246
00:16:32,216 --> 00:16:35,652
Lurch, I'm in the midst
of a big institutional deal
247
00:16:35,885 --> 00:16:40,163
and I misplaced a telephone number.
It was on the back of a laundry ticket.
248
00:16:43,181 --> 00:16:45,217
Oh, you didn't see it, huh?
249
00:16:46,141 --> 00:16:48,701
I think I remember it. Let's see.
250
00:16:49,810 --> 00:16:52,085
Five, five.
251
00:16:53,270 --> 00:16:55,659
Five, five.
252
00:16:55,855 --> 00:16:58,130
Five, five, five.
253
00:17:01,442 --> 00:17:05,481
Hello? Hello! What?
I don't like that merger deal.
254
00:17:06,278 --> 00:17:08,838
You don't like it? Who asked you?
255
00:17:09,780 --> 00:17:13,170
Nobody asked me, I'm telling you,
smart guy.
256
00:17:13,991 --> 00:17:17,540
Oh, so now I'm a smart guy, huh?
Well, you listen...
257
00:17:17,785 --> 00:17:20,219
No, you listen. The deal's off!
258
00:17:20,495 --> 00:17:22,804
Oh, yeah? Well, you can say that again!
259
00:17:25,706 --> 00:17:28,061
You can't let these fellows
push you around.
260
00:17:32,502 --> 00:17:38,691
Cybernetics, Cyclops, psychiatrist.
Thank you, Thing.
261
00:17:39,506 --> 00:17:41,656
Here's one. "Dr. Brown.
262
00:17:42,466 --> 00:17:45,139
"Psychiatric service, 24 hours a day.
263
00:17:45,676 --> 00:17:48,236
"House calls and all credit cards honored."
264
00:17:48,428 --> 00:17:49,781
Sounds like our man.
265
00:17:52,805 --> 00:17:55,319
Dr. Brown speaking. Yes?
266
00:17:55,849 --> 00:18:00,479
It all started when Uncle Fester fell in love
with this girl with a stunning blond beard.
267
00:18:01,269 --> 00:18:04,625
Blond beard? A real blond beard?
268
00:18:04,854 --> 00:18:07,322
Well, personally,
I'm sure she touches it up a little.
269
00:18:07,522 --> 00:18:10,958
And when we wouldn't give him
a postage stamp, he went to pieces.
270
00:18:12,317 --> 00:18:14,751
Your Uncle Fester sounds at loose ends.
271
00:18:14,943 --> 00:18:17,741
Oh, he's very loose,
and he needs help immediately.
272
00:18:18,487 --> 00:18:21,923
When I come to call, he shouldn't know
that I'm a psychiatrist.
273
00:18:22,156 --> 00:18:25,432
It'll be best if you don't call me doctor.
I'll use some other name.
274
00:18:25,867 --> 00:18:27,095
Is that agreeable?
275
00:18:27,242 --> 00:18:32,032
Perfectly. We'll be waiting for you, Doc...
Sir. Goodbye.
276
00:18:35,622 --> 00:18:36,611
A real beard?
277
00:18:37,373 --> 00:18:38,931
Thank you, Thing.
278
00:18:39,708 --> 00:18:43,621
Darling, the psychiatrist insists
that we not call him doctor
279
00:18:43,877 --> 00:18:45,390
for fear of upsetting Uncle Fester.
280
00:18:45,545 --> 00:18:47,775
Good idea.
We'll tell Fester he's the plumber.
281
00:18:53,174 --> 00:18:56,405
- Sir.
- I'm Gomez Addams, Fester's nephew.
282
00:18:56,635 --> 00:18:59,103
- Well, I'm Mr. Logan. Thaddeus Logan.
- Logan, huh?
283
00:18:59,303 --> 00:19:01,259
Well, that's as good a name as any.
284
00:19:01,429 --> 00:19:04,785
Come right in, Mr. Logan.
We've been expecting you.
285
00:19:18,940 --> 00:19:21,738
Querida, this is Mr. Logan.
286
00:19:23,818 --> 00:19:26,730
Mr. Logan, this is my lovely wife, Morticia.
287
00:19:27,695 --> 00:19:31,085
Oh, Mr. Logan. How do you do?
288
00:19:34,741 --> 00:19:39,690
- Fester lives here?
- Oh, yes. Won't you please sit down?
289
00:19:39,994 --> 00:19:42,827
There are a few things we think
you ought to know about Uncle Fester.
290
00:19:43,037 --> 00:19:46,234
Oh? Well, I know all I need to know.
291
00:19:46,456 --> 00:19:49,926
By thunder, I admire your confidence.
Lightning quick.
292
00:19:50,708 --> 00:19:54,906
Yes, it eases my mind to know that
you'll be with him in his time of trouble.
293
00:19:55,294 --> 00:19:58,013
Oh, well, I don't anticipate any trouble.
294
00:19:58,255 --> 00:20:00,564
No, I got all the papers right here,
ready to sign.
295
00:20:00,756 --> 00:20:04,271
Oh, we'll have those institutions
eating out of our hand.
296
00:20:04,508 --> 00:20:08,501
Institution? Oh, no, we couldn't send him
to an institution.
297
00:20:08,761 --> 00:20:11,594
No need, sir, he's an Addams,
and we look after our own.
298
00:20:12,430 --> 00:20:14,898
Besides, the poor dear isn't violent.
299
00:20:15,348 --> 00:20:16,497
What are you talking about?
300
00:20:17,349 --> 00:20:20,022
I think you should know
what made Uncle Fester crack up.
301
00:20:20,476 --> 00:20:22,785
Fester? Crack up?
302
00:20:22,978 --> 00:20:24,411
Completely off his trolley.
303
00:20:24,895 --> 00:20:28,683
Keeps talking about big business deals
and mergers
304
00:20:29,190 --> 00:20:32,023
and that once fine mind has been
reduced to a shambles.
305
00:20:32,692 --> 00:20:38,005
Oh, well, I know what you mean.
Yeah, I often feel like I'm cracking up.
306
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:39,309
You look it.
307
00:20:40,780 --> 00:20:46,173
But if what you say is true...
Why, it's ghastly.
308
00:20:46,783 --> 00:20:48,933
- Ghastly.
- Ghastly.
309
00:20:59,416 --> 00:21:00,929
Now I get it.
310
00:21:01,083 --> 00:21:04,962
You, in these funny shoes
and that preposterous suit.
311
00:21:06,378 --> 00:21:08,892
This is all a gag, isn't it? Yeah.
312
00:21:09,088 --> 00:21:10,760
Fester put you up to this, didn't he?
313
00:21:16,009 --> 00:21:16,998
Very amusing.
314
00:21:17,468 --> 00:21:19,584
I think the doctor could use
some help himself.
315
00:21:20,303 --> 00:21:21,861
I guess he finally has cracked up.
316
00:21:26,015 --> 00:21:27,607
What is this all about?
317
00:21:27,766 --> 00:21:31,759
Oh, the children persuaded me to light up
and ride my cycle around.
318
00:21:32,018 --> 00:21:33,212
Just for old times' sake.
319
00:21:33,686 --> 00:21:36,200
We love to watch him ride his motorcycle
in the house.
320
00:21:36,396 --> 00:21:38,626
And wrestle the alligator.
321
00:21:38,814 --> 00:21:41,408
Wrestle the alligator? A live alligator?
322
00:21:41,691 --> 00:21:43,443
Not very sporting, wrestling a dead one.
323
00:21:44,567 --> 00:21:47,877
And I can beat Thing
at Indian wrestling, too.
324
00:21:48,445 --> 00:21:50,879
Thing? Who is Thing?
325
00:21:51,905 --> 00:21:54,863
Thing? Come up
and say hello to Mr. Logan.
326
00:22:02,245 --> 00:22:04,884
Oh, no. I've got to get out of here.
327
00:22:06,414 --> 00:22:09,292
Hey, just a minute. Come back here!
328
00:22:09,499 --> 00:22:11,535
What happened? Where's he going?
329
00:22:11,709 --> 00:22:13,859
Back to the mental clinic, where else?
330
00:22:14,043 --> 00:22:15,192
Mental clinic?
331
00:22:15,336 --> 00:22:18,487
We weren't supposed to tell you,
but that's where he's from.
332
00:22:18,921 --> 00:22:23,073
Well, I'll be darned.
You never know, do you?
333
00:22:23,340 --> 00:22:25,092
I could tell the minute he walked in.
334
00:22:25,800 --> 00:22:28,268
Well, it wasn't much fun.
335
00:22:28,635 --> 00:22:32,548
Fun? It only goes to show
how dangerous working can be.
336
00:22:33,096 --> 00:22:34,085
That's right.
337
00:22:35,014 --> 00:22:36,652
Well, ho-hum.
338
00:22:41,601 --> 00:22:44,354
Don't worry, my dear.
That glass is unbreakable.
339
00:22:52,900 --> 00:22:55,733
Cleopatra, please, dear.
340
00:22:55,943 --> 00:22:59,015
Think of all
the less-fortunate African stranglers.
341
00:23:02,363 --> 00:23:04,923
That's my good, good girl.
342
00:23:05,115 --> 00:23:07,106
Boy, that's real musical milk.
343
00:23:08,117 --> 00:23:09,630
Yes, baby.
344
00:23:09,785 --> 00:23:10,820
Man.
345
00:23:11,536 --> 00:23:12,855
Show him in, Lurch.
346
00:23:17,372 --> 00:23:19,408
That's my sweet girl.
347
00:23:20,166 --> 00:23:21,155
Yes.
348
00:23:23,376 --> 00:23:25,253
Which one of them is disturbed?
349
00:23:25,669 --> 00:23:27,421
Oh, it was Uncle Fester, right there.
350
00:23:27,879 --> 00:23:31,554
Oh, yes. Yes, I can see
he needs help immediately.
351
00:23:32,340 --> 00:23:34,456
- Who are you, old man?
- You know.
352
00:23:35,049 --> 00:23:37,927
Is he violent? We gonna have trouble
getting him into the clinic?
353
00:23:38,343 --> 00:23:40,811
Oh, Dr. Logan sent you.
354
00:23:41,178 --> 00:23:43,692
You can tell Dr. Logan
it won't be necessary.
355
00:23:43,888 --> 00:23:45,367
He's completely recovered.
356
00:23:45,514 --> 00:23:48,426
He snapped right out of it.
As you can see, he's completely normal.
357
00:23:49,767 --> 00:23:50,916
Normal?
358
00:23:51,476 --> 00:23:54,946
Sorry to get you out here on a false alarm,
old man,
359
00:23:55,186 --> 00:23:58,462
but as you can see everything's
right as rain at the Addams house.
360
00:23:58,688 --> 00:24:01,566
You fire us a bill along anyway
and better luck next time.
361
00:24:01,774 --> 00:24:05,972
And do tell Dr. Logan I said
he needs a long rest.
362
00:24:08,194 --> 00:24:11,027
- So do I.
- You rang?
363
00:24:11,238 --> 00:24:13,354
Lurch, show the gentleman out, please.
364
00:24:15,198 --> 00:24:16,187
Good night.
365
00:24:18,700 --> 00:24:22,090
Doctors. Such a strange breed.
366
00:24:22,869 --> 00:24:25,747
I'm so glad you didn't crack up over Diana.
367
00:24:26,788 --> 00:24:28,824
Diana? Who's Diana?
368
00:24:28,998 --> 00:24:31,228
That ravishing creature
you were going to marry.
369
00:24:31,416 --> 00:24:35,045
Oh, yeah.
I guess she'd sort of slipped my mind.
370
00:24:35,293 --> 00:24:40,048
Well, I guess it's for the best.
After all, she's a woman and I'm a man.
371
00:24:40,755 --> 00:24:42,473
What do we got in common?
372
00:24:43,473 --> 00:24:53,473
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