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They're creepy and they're kooky
3
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Mysterious and spooky
4
00:00:22,429 --> 00:00:24,260
They're altogether ooky
5
00:00:24,431 --> 00:00:26,308
The Addams family
6
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The house is a museum
7
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When people come to see 'em
8
00:00:30,479 --> 00:00:32,276
They really are a scream
9
00:00:32,439 --> 00:00:34,031
The Addams family
10
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Neat.
11
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Sweet.
12
00:00:41,239 --> 00:00:42,228
Petite.
13
00:00:42,365 --> 00:00:44,162
So get a witch's shawl on
14
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A broomstick you can crawl on
15
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We're gonna pay a call on
16
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The Addams family
17
00:01:10,977 --> 00:01:15,129
Come on, Fester, get that power going.
I want this crash to be a real whopper.
18
00:01:18,735 --> 00:01:20,965
I'm too excited to play trains, Gomez.
19
00:01:21,154 --> 00:01:24,191
I should go up to my room and
pack some things for the outing.
20
00:01:24,407 --> 00:01:27,240
- But that's tomorrow.
- It's going to be real neat.
21
00:01:27,493 --> 00:01:29,290
Exploring a brand-new cave.
22
00:01:29,454 --> 00:01:31,809
And I'm gonna light the way
for everybody.
23
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Bright as Broadway.
24
00:01:38,004 --> 00:01:41,280
Now, what'll it be today, Pugsley?
A nice head-on collision?
25
00:01:41,507 --> 00:01:43,463
Couldn't we have a derailment
for a change?
26
00:01:43,634 --> 00:01:45,192
Derailment it is.
27
00:01:45,344 --> 00:01:49,860
Let that current go, Fester.
I wanna see 'em fly off the tracks.
28
00:01:50,850 --> 00:01:53,569
Gomez, don't you think I ought
to save myself till tomorrow?
29
00:01:53,769 --> 00:01:55,646
Tomorrow is another day.
30
00:01:57,064 --> 00:01:59,942
Why didn't I think of that? Okay.
31
00:02:03,070 --> 00:02:06,904
Now watch this, Pugsley boy.
A wild pile-up on the next turn.
32
00:02:20,588 --> 00:02:23,307
- Suddenly I went dead.
- You need recharging.
33
00:02:23,507 --> 00:02:25,975
No, I just had that done this morning.
34
00:02:26,301 --> 00:02:29,896
I didn't feel good all day,
but I never thought it'd come to this.
35
00:02:31,890 --> 00:02:33,528
What do we do, Father?
36
00:02:33,684 --> 00:02:36,437
The only thing we can do.
Call an electrician.
37
00:02:41,984 --> 00:02:46,102
- I think I have an emotional watt seepage.
- Watt a way to go.
38
00:02:46,989 --> 00:02:50,026
- Don't make fun of me, Gomez.
- I'm sorry, really.
39
00:02:51,410 --> 00:02:53,560
Hello? Home Electrical?
40
00:02:54,496 --> 00:02:56,452
I'd like to ask a bit of advice.
41
00:02:56,873 --> 00:02:59,751
Our Uncle Fester seems
to have got himself de-volted.
42
00:03:00,377 --> 00:03:01,526
Hello?
43
00:03:02,712 --> 00:03:04,350
You still there? Good.
44
00:03:05,340 --> 00:03:07,058
Yes, de-volted.
45
00:03:07,926 --> 00:03:11,282
Well, you see, he was running an electric
train and suddenly his power went off.
46
00:03:13,056 --> 00:03:16,685
- What did he say?
- I can't tell you in front of the boy.
47
00:03:18,270 --> 00:03:22,024
- I guess we'll have to talk to Morticia.
- Gee, I hate to worry her about me.
48
00:03:22,273 --> 00:03:24,992
Well, it's not the worry. She was going
to bake a cake this afternoon
49
00:03:25,193 --> 00:03:27,548
and she wanted you to run her cake mixer.
50
00:03:27,779 --> 00:03:29,770
Failure upon failure.
51
00:03:29,948 --> 00:03:33,224
I feel like going out
and drowning myself in the smog.
52
00:03:34,828 --> 00:03:37,865
Breathe deeply.
It does wonders for your sinuses.
53
00:03:38,623 --> 00:03:40,500
- Gomez!
- Well, it does.
54
00:03:56,265 --> 00:03:57,414
Again.
55
00:04:13,199 --> 00:04:18,068
Thank you, Thing.
But remember, nobody likes a smart thing.
56
00:04:25,169 --> 00:04:28,957
Wednesday dear, that was lovely.
You're really improving.
57
00:04:29,465 --> 00:04:32,343
I think you're almost ready to start
on the new piece I bought you.
58
00:04:32,551 --> 00:04:33,984
Dance of the Hyenas.
59
00:04:35,262 --> 00:04:36,980
That sounds pretty.
60
00:04:37,848 --> 00:04:39,918
Thank you, Lurch, that will be all.
61
00:04:43,228 --> 00:04:47,062
- Mother. Uncle Fester's sick.
- Are you sure?
62
00:04:47,316 --> 00:04:48,908
When I saw him at breakfast this morning,
63
00:04:49,068 --> 00:04:52,743
his face fairly glowed
with that lovely jaundiced color.
64
00:04:53,781 --> 00:04:55,533
Maybe he blew a fuse.
65
00:04:56,408 --> 00:04:58,524
Oh, darling, I'm sure he's funning you.
66
00:04:58,702 --> 00:05:02,217
He probably wants you to put a penny
behind his ear to make him go again.
67
00:05:02,456 --> 00:05:03,650
I doubt that.
68
00:05:03,916 --> 00:05:06,191
No, his malady is a bit of a mystery.
69
00:05:06,585 --> 00:05:08,735
Children, why don't you go
into the kitchen
70
00:05:08,921 --> 00:05:12,152
and help Grandmama sort the toadstools
from the mushrooms.
71
00:05:12,382 --> 00:05:15,738
She's going
to make a lovely toadstool souffl�.
72
00:05:15,969 --> 00:05:17,607
- Yummy!
- Yummy!
73
00:05:19,389 --> 00:05:22,426
That reminds me, darling.
If you're going to bake that cake
74
00:05:22,642 --> 00:05:24,917
I'll have to run out
and get you a hand mixer.
75
00:05:25,103 --> 00:05:27,822
- Then Uncle Fester's really ill.
- Not a watt.
76
00:05:28,982 --> 00:05:30,461
Oh, darling.
77
00:05:31,735 --> 00:05:34,454
I'm afraid this will cancel our outing
for tomorrow.
78
00:05:34,654 --> 00:05:36,292
We could take flashlights.
79
00:05:36,656 --> 00:05:39,409
But the light would be too harsh.
80
00:05:39,618 --> 00:05:42,690
And too bright
to explore new and unknown caves.
81
00:05:43,246 --> 00:05:48,240
Besides, when Uncle Fester switches
to neon, the effect is truly spectacular.
82
00:05:49,002 --> 00:05:51,357
The children will be so disappointed.
83
00:05:51,671 --> 00:05:54,788
Little Wednesday was looking forward
to collecting some new spiders.
84
00:05:55,008 --> 00:05:58,045
- You know how she adores her pets.
- I know how you were looking forward
85
00:05:58,261 --> 00:06:00,217
to some hemlock seedlings
for your garden.
86
00:06:00,388 --> 00:06:02,424
Darling, we're being very selfish.
87
00:06:02,724 --> 00:06:04,840
We're thinking of ourselves,
and we shouldn't.
88
00:06:05,018 --> 00:06:07,691
We should only think
of how to help Uncle Fester.
89
00:06:07,895 --> 00:06:11,808
How like you to think of it that way,
querida m�a.
90
00:06:12,734 --> 00:06:14,167
You are a gem.
91
00:06:15,153 --> 00:06:16,347
Tasty one, too.
92
00:06:17,030 --> 00:06:20,909
Darling, do you remember
our second honeymoon at Niagara Falls?
93
00:06:21,367 --> 00:06:24,916
- In Niagara Falls.
- It was a divine cave.
94
00:06:25,705 --> 00:06:28,299
Free showers, anytime of the day or night.
95
00:06:30,042 --> 00:06:32,510
That was living, mon ami.
96
00:06:34,505 --> 00:06:37,702
Tish. When you speak French
you drive me wild.
97
00:06:38,301 --> 00:06:41,611
Speak some more French, Tish. Anything.
Tout � I'heure.
98
00:06:41,846 --> 00:06:44,519
La plume de ma tante.
Mademoiselle from Armentieres.
99
00:06:44,724 --> 00:06:45,793
Anything.
100
00:06:45,933 --> 00:06:47,571
- You are a devil.
- Yes.
101
00:06:48,519 --> 00:06:51,079
I'm just gonna pack my bags and leave.
102
00:06:51,272 --> 00:06:53,627
Uncle Fester,
what seems to be the trouble?
103
00:06:53,816 --> 00:06:56,284
Mama called me an outing pooper.
104
00:06:56,735 --> 00:07:00,045
- Oh, I'm sure she meant it kindly.
- Of course.
105
00:07:01,949 --> 00:07:03,667
From Mama that's flattery.
106
00:07:04,576 --> 00:07:08,330
And that's not all.
Thing refused to Indian wrestle with me.
107
00:07:08,580 --> 00:07:11,890
And the piranha fish wouldn't even
take a bite out of my hand.
108
00:07:12,376 --> 00:07:13,809
That is unfriendly.
109
00:07:14,420 --> 00:07:15,648
It's worse than that.
110
00:07:15,796 --> 00:07:19,471
I asked Lurch to bring up my bed of nails
so I could get some relaxation
111
00:07:19,716 --> 00:07:22,469
and he absolutely ignored me.
112
00:07:22,845 --> 00:07:24,563
We'll see about that.
113
00:07:30,102 --> 00:07:31,330
You rang?
114
00:07:31,478 --> 00:07:35,027
Lurch, I'm afraid you're going to have
to apologize to Uncle Fester.
115
00:07:39,069 --> 00:07:40,343
That's better.
116
00:07:40,612 --> 00:07:43,604
Dear Lurch, he expresses himself so well.
117
00:07:44,241 --> 00:07:46,596
I don't blame anyone for rejecting me,
118
00:07:46,785 --> 00:07:48,582
the way I've ruined the family's outing.
119
00:07:48,745 --> 00:07:51,657
Uncle Fester,
Gomez and I aren't rejecting you.
120
00:07:51,873 --> 00:07:54,706
- We want to help you.
- But the question is how?
121
00:07:55,418 --> 00:07:57,727
I believe it has something to do
with your diet.
122
00:07:57,921 --> 00:08:01,880
Impossible. I always eat a very simple,
wholesome meal.
123
00:08:02,133 --> 00:08:05,443
Now, for breakfast this morning
I had walnut shells and sour milk.
124
00:08:05,679 --> 00:08:08,637
Oh, you should have had
green persimmons first.
125
00:08:09,557 --> 00:08:10,910
Naturally.
126
00:08:13,061 --> 00:08:15,700
Gosh. If there is something wrong
with me,
127
00:08:15,897 --> 00:08:19,367
I hope it's one
of those rare tropical diseases.
128
00:08:20,068 --> 00:08:23,424
You know, Morticia.
Something glamorous.
129
00:08:23,780 --> 00:08:25,372
I hope so too, dear.
130
00:08:25,532 --> 00:08:28,604
But in the meantime, we must get you
well before tomorrow.
131
00:08:29,202 --> 00:08:32,000
Oh, you better go along without me.
132
00:08:32,747 --> 00:08:35,261
I'll probably be an outing pooper.
133
00:08:35,708 --> 00:08:37,426
Well, back to the smog.
134
00:08:39,962 --> 00:08:42,874
Poor Uncle Fester. He sounds suicidal.
135
00:08:43,091 --> 00:08:45,241
At least he'll go with a clear sinus.
136
00:08:45,843 --> 00:08:47,162
Uncle Fester!
137
00:08:48,262 --> 00:08:50,492
Don't try to discourage me, Morticia.
138
00:08:50,681 --> 00:08:52,239
Uncle Fester, I've been thinking.
139
00:08:52,391 --> 00:08:54,586
Have you been getting
enough moonshine?
140
00:08:54,852 --> 00:08:57,571
Morticia, you know I don't drink.
141
00:08:57,772 --> 00:09:00,605
Morticia's referring to moonbathing.
142
00:09:02,276 --> 00:09:05,791
The moon has marvelous
restorative powers for us Addamses.
143
00:09:06,030 --> 00:09:08,942
Provided you don't take too much of it.
There's a full moon out tonight.
144
00:09:09,158 --> 00:09:11,228
If I get too much I get freckles.
145
00:09:11,410 --> 00:09:15,289
Nonsense. A good moonbath
is just the tonic you need.
146
00:09:16,081 --> 00:09:19,676
Well, I don't know about Uncle Fester,
but you've talked me into one.
147
00:09:48,322 --> 00:09:49,516
Catch.
148
00:09:52,451 --> 00:09:53,884
You little minx.
149
00:09:56,413 --> 00:10:01,009
- Isn't this fun, Fester?
- Oh, yes. But I'm not out here for fun.
150
00:10:01,793 --> 00:10:03,863
I'm out here to get my health back.
151
00:10:04,254 --> 00:10:06,973
I'd watch myself with that reflector
the first time around.
152
00:10:07,174 --> 00:10:10,450
You should work up gradually
to a nice coat of grey.
153
00:10:10,677 --> 00:10:12,269
Very wise, darling.
154
00:10:12,846 --> 00:10:15,360
Uncle Fester, would you like some
of Mama's goose grease?
155
00:10:15,557 --> 00:10:16,910
Well, I had some.
156
00:10:17,475 --> 00:10:19,067
It was delicious.
157
00:10:19,227 --> 00:10:21,661
Uncle Fester,
you're not supposed to eat it.
158
00:10:21,855 --> 00:10:25,325
- You're supposed to rub it on you.
- Oh?
159
00:10:26,318 --> 00:10:28,786
Maybe that's why I don't feel any better.
160
00:10:30,071 --> 00:10:34,701
Oh, now on top of everything
I've got myself a severe moonburn.
161
00:10:35,076 --> 00:10:36,111
Shucks.
162
00:10:43,459 --> 00:10:46,656
Oh, Gomez,
you were a handsome little boy.
163
00:10:47,547 --> 00:10:50,983
- Darling, that's our son Pugsley.
- Oh?
164
00:10:52,093 --> 00:10:54,687
You're right, I thought he looked familiar.
165
00:10:58,975 --> 00:11:01,728
Hello, Uncle Fester. You still alive?
166
00:11:02,979 --> 00:11:06,051
- Well, don't I look it?
- Of course, darling.
167
00:11:06,274 --> 00:11:08,708
That moonbath did wonders for you.
168
00:11:10,069 --> 00:11:13,345
Don't let this outdoorsy,
athletic exterior fool you.
169
00:11:13,739 --> 00:11:15,218
I feel rotten.
170
00:11:19,328 --> 00:11:21,159
Thing doesn't look so hot, either.
171
00:11:21,330 --> 00:11:25,209
He couldn't get past threesies
four times in a row.
172
00:11:25,459 --> 00:11:27,415
I think there is something wrong with him.
173
00:11:27,586 --> 00:11:29,383
Thing, are you all right?
174
00:11:37,930 --> 00:11:39,921
Gomez, this is becoming serious.
175
00:11:40,099 --> 00:11:42,249
I think there maybe something
contagious going around.
176
00:11:42,434 --> 00:11:44,743
You may be right.
We'd better check Zelda.
177
00:11:45,312 --> 00:11:47,542
Zelda, dear, are you all right?
178
00:11:50,234 --> 00:11:51,986
She sounds fine.
179
00:11:52,695 --> 00:11:55,971
Gomez, isn't that sweet? She's molting.
180
00:11:56,740 --> 00:11:57,934
Beautiful.
181
00:11:58,242 --> 00:12:01,359
Zelda, darling,
you're not eating your lunch.
182
00:12:03,997 --> 00:12:05,510
Dear, there is something wrong.
183
00:12:05,666 --> 00:12:08,897
She's not eating,
and that's her favorite dish. Dry bones.
184
00:12:09,378 --> 00:12:13,690
Wouldn't eat her dried bones.
This is serious.
185
00:12:13,966 --> 00:12:16,002
There's only one solution.
We've got to call a doctor.
186
00:12:16,176 --> 00:12:18,212
A doctor? Which one?
187
00:12:18,387 --> 00:12:21,538
The only one.
Our family witch doctor, Dr. Mbogo.
188
00:12:27,437 --> 00:12:28,995
Who did you want again?
189
00:12:30,315 --> 00:12:32,033
Oh, Dr. Mbogo.
190
00:12:32,901 --> 00:12:35,415
Wait a minute.
I'll see if I can get a hold of him.
191
00:12:35,612 --> 00:12:36,681
Hold on.
192
00:12:50,043 --> 00:12:52,034
Tish, remind me
to get myself a hollow log.
193
00:12:52,212 --> 00:12:54,362
Save a lot of time by dialing direct.
194
00:12:55,048 --> 00:12:57,562
They are taking a long time
getting through, aren't they?
195
00:12:57,759 --> 00:13:00,512
Yes. Well, he's probably got a hut
full of patients.
196
00:13:00,720 --> 00:13:05,111
Give old Doc a good tsetse fly bite case
and he can't tear himself away.
197
00:13:05,975 --> 00:13:07,647
Hello? Doctor?
198
00:13:08,561 --> 00:13:09,960
Gomez Addams here.
199
00:13:12,482 --> 00:13:14,279
Jambo to you too, Doctor.
200
00:13:16,235 --> 00:13:19,432
Doctor, we're having a spot of trouble
with Uncle Fester,
201
00:13:19,655 --> 00:13:21,611
and we'd appreciate it if you...
202
00:13:23,284 --> 00:13:24,319
Really?
203
00:13:25,119 --> 00:13:26,757
Business is that good, eh?
204
00:13:28,289 --> 00:13:30,166
Well, if that's the way it is.
205
00:13:30,625 --> 00:13:31,660
Goodbye.
206
00:13:33,044 --> 00:13:34,238
What's the matter, dear?
207
00:13:34,378 --> 00:13:36,733
Dr. Mbogo isn't making any more
house calls.
208
00:13:38,424 --> 00:13:41,018
Well, we're right back
where we started from.
209
00:13:41,552 --> 00:13:43,622
Well, now what in the world
are we going to do?
210
00:13:43,804 --> 00:13:47,114
I should've engaged that Pygmy
witch doctor when I had the chance.
211
00:13:47,350 --> 00:13:48,624
He was reliable.
212
00:13:49,060 --> 00:13:51,574
Besides, he could travel for half fare.
213
00:13:52,646 --> 00:13:55,365
This really cancels our outing,
doesn't it, Gomez?
214
00:13:55,775 --> 00:13:56,890
Well...
215
00:13:57,026 --> 00:13:59,381
You mean I won't get
to catch any spiders?
216
00:13:59,570 --> 00:14:01,288
I need some new ones.
217
00:14:01,822 --> 00:14:04,541
I know, darling. But we will go someday.
218
00:14:04,825 --> 00:14:07,180
MORTICIA: After all,
Uncle Fester isn't feeling well.
219
00:14:07,369 --> 00:14:09,087
I'm an outing pooper.
220
00:14:19,840 --> 00:14:22,070
There's only one thing left for us to do.
221
00:14:22,259 --> 00:14:24,648
Tish, remember, please. Nothing rash.
222
00:14:24,845 --> 00:14:27,564
But I'm afraid the situation calls
for it, dear.
223
00:14:27,764 --> 00:14:29,880
We'll have to call a regular doctor.
224
00:14:40,319 --> 00:14:42,196
Why, thank you, Thing.
225
00:14:42,779 --> 00:14:44,735
You're still very efficient.
226
00:14:46,324 --> 00:14:49,157
Darling, would you mind
handing me the phone, please?
227
00:14:49,703 --> 00:14:52,058
- Certainly, my dear.
- Thank you.
228
00:15:02,007 --> 00:15:03,122
I'll get it.
229
00:15:05,385 --> 00:15:07,979
- Dr. Milford.
- This is Mrs. Addams.
230
00:15:08,722 --> 00:15:09,757
Addams.
231
00:15:10,348 --> 00:15:13,943
Yes. We have the house across the street
and down the block from you.
232
00:15:15,770 --> 00:15:18,682
No, that's not empty. That's us.
233
00:15:19,691 --> 00:15:21,682
We call it our honeymoon cottage.
234
00:15:22,026 --> 00:15:24,335
Oh, yes, Mrs. Addams. Now I get you.
235
00:15:24,779 --> 00:15:26,098
What can I do for you?
236
00:15:26,239 --> 00:15:28,912
A member of our family
is feeling a bit under
237
00:15:29,117 --> 00:15:31,028
and we wondered
if you could stop by today?
238
00:15:31,202 --> 00:15:32,396
I'd be glad to.
239
00:15:32,537 --> 00:15:34,209
Thank you. Goodbye.
240
00:15:36,791 --> 00:15:38,463
You think we did the right thing?
241
00:15:38,626 --> 00:15:43,222
Darling, if this doctor proves inadequate,
we'll send out West for a medicine man.
242
00:15:53,766 --> 00:15:54,881
Hello.
243
00:15:56,060 --> 00:15:57,459
Hello, little girl.
244
00:15:58,271 --> 00:16:00,341
This is the Addams house, isn't it?
245
00:16:00,731 --> 00:16:03,803
Are you the doctor that's going
to cure Uncle Fester?
246
00:16:04,068 --> 00:16:06,423
Well, I'm certainly going to try my best.
247
00:16:06,654 --> 00:16:08,406
Where's your mask and spear?
248
00:16:08,864 --> 00:16:09,933
My what?
249
00:16:10,282 --> 00:16:12,671
The last doctor we had came like that.
250
00:16:14,161 --> 00:16:15,310
Yes, well...
251
00:16:16,539 --> 00:16:19,212
This was the best I could do on the spur
of the moment.
252
00:16:19,416 --> 00:16:21,646
I hope you can cure Uncle Fester.
253
00:16:21,836 --> 00:16:24,350
He can't even make the trains go.
254
00:16:25,548 --> 00:16:26,663
Trains?
255
00:16:26,799 --> 00:16:29,393
We haven't had a good wreck all day.
256
00:16:35,766 --> 00:16:38,200
So that's what a family doctor looks like.
257
00:16:38,435 --> 00:16:41,871
He certainly doesn't inspire confidence.
Not like Dr. Mbogo.
258
00:16:42,147 --> 00:16:46,345
And I'm afraid I won't be able to settle
his fee for a few painted beads, either.
259
00:16:47,778 --> 00:16:49,609
What's that little black bag he's carrying?
260
00:16:49,780 --> 00:16:50,974
I don't know, dear.
261
00:16:51,114 --> 00:16:54,311
But I'm sure, because it's black,
it's something to help you.
262
00:16:54,910 --> 00:16:56,946
I don't think I'm gonna like him.
263
00:16:57,496 --> 00:17:01,694
The white hair and those glasses.
How un-medical can he get?
264
00:17:06,088 --> 00:17:07,999
Dr. Milford.
265
00:17:15,972 --> 00:17:17,405
How do you do, Doctor?
266
00:17:17,557 --> 00:17:19,866
This is my lovely bride, Morticia.
267
00:17:20,060 --> 00:17:22,130
And this is our patient, Uncle Fester.
268
00:17:22,312 --> 00:17:23,825
I feel fine. Go away.
269
00:17:24,564 --> 00:17:27,032
I'm not going to harm you.
270
00:17:27,859 --> 00:17:29,292
I don't like quacks.
271
00:17:29,736 --> 00:17:31,249
You'll have to forgive him.
272
00:17:31,404 --> 00:17:35,397
MORTICIA: He's used to our old family
doctor. But he's busy with his tribe.
273
00:17:35,658 --> 00:17:36,852
Oh.
274
00:17:38,828 --> 00:17:39,943
Wonderful doctor.
275
00:17:40,080 --> 00:17:43,914
Cured my pneumonia by dousing me with
kerosene and pouring ashes over my head.
276
00:17:44,167 --> 00:17:47,045
Sometimes the old-fashioned remedies
are best.
277
00:17:48,588 --> 00:17:51,625
Well, Doctor, would you like Mrs. Addams
and me to leave?
278
00:17:51,841 --> 00:17:54,150
You're not gonna leave me alone with him.
279
00:17:54,761 --> 00:17:58,640
No. That won't be necessary.
Not for the moment, at least.
280
00:17:58,973 --> 00:18:01,168
All right. Make yourself comfortable.
281
00:18:07,065 --> 00:18:08,100
Doctor...
282
00:18:08,274 --> 00:18:10,993
Now if you'll just take off your coat,
I can start my examination.
283
00:18:11,194 --> 00:18:13,549
I never take my coat off. I just couldn't.
284
00:18:13,738 --> 00:18:15,376
He's really very modest.
285
00:18:17,283 --> 00:18:20,673
Well, all right. I'll try and work around it.
286
00:18:21,412 --> 00:18:22,561
Sit right here, please.
287
00:18:22,705 --> 00:18:24,536
Fester. Right.
288
00:18:26,208 --> 00:18:27,277
My dear.
289
00:18:29,754 --> 00:18:31,984
Now open your mouth and say "ah."
290
00:18:39,847 --> 00:18:41,838
This is most unusual.
291
00:18:42,057 --> 00:18:44,048
Your tongue is bright blue.
292
00:18:44,226 --> 00:18:46,899
Blue? It's supposed to be green.
293
00:18:47,563 --> 00:18:48,678
FESTER: I am sick.
294
00:18:48,939 --> 00:18:51,134
Don't worry, old boy.
We'll pull you through.
295
00:18:51,317 --> 00:18:54,707
Just think about how nice
it's going to be tomorrow this time.
296
00:18:55,446 --> 00:18:57,516
That's the only thing
that's keeping me going.
297
00:18:57,698 --> 00:19:00,974
Hoping little Wednesday
gets some nice Black Widows.
298
00:19:08,834 --> 00:19:11,712
Most unusual. Most unusual.
299
00:19:13,672 --> 00:19:18,223
Well, I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to take
one arm out of your coat for this test.
300
00:19:18,510 --> 00:19:19,579
- Never!
- But...
301
00:19:19,720 --> 00:19:20,755
No!
302
00:19:24,433 --> 00:19:27,869
Very well. I'll try it over your sleeve.
303
00:19:41,199 --> 00:19:42,473
Most unusual.
304
00:19:51,209 --> 00:19:54,565
I daresay I'll have a paper
for the medical journal from this one.
305
00:19:54,796 --> 00:19:56,832
Interesting patient, isn't he, Doctor?
306
00:19:57,007 --> 00:19:58,235
Unbelievable.
307
00:20:00,468 --> 00:20:02,982
He does have some unusual methods,
doesn't he?
308
00:20:03,471 --> 00:20:07,544
Yes, indeed. I wish he'd shake his rattles
or yell a few times
309
00:20:07,809 --> 00:20:09,720
as Dr. Mbogo does.
310
00:20:09,894 --> 00:20:12,249
Makes you feel like
he's accomplishing something.
311
00:20:12,438 --> 00:20:14,668
Will you open the front
of your coat, please?
312
00:20:14,857 --> 00:20:17,655
Of course not. Not in front of Morticia.
313
00:20:17,902 --> 00:20:20,177
I'll look the other way, Uncle Fester.
314
00:20:22,031 --> 00:20:23,350
Very well.
315
00:20:35,753 --> 00:20:37,983
What is it, Doctor? Don't spare us.
316
00:20:38,256 --> 00:20:39,405
What do you think?
317
00:20:39,549 --> 00:20:41,904
I think I'd better forget
the medical journal.
318
00:20:42,093 --> 00:20:43,731
Contact Believe It or Not.
319
00:20:45,888 --> 00:20:48,197
I'd better take your temperature.
320
00:20:58,526 --> 00:21:00,164
GOMEZ: I took his pulse
just before you got here.
321
00:21:00,319 --> 00:21:01,434
And?
322
00:21:01,654 --> 00:21:05,169
Well, either my watch has stopped
or he's been dead for 20 minutes.
323
00:21:07,910 --> 00:21:09,423
He exaggerates so.
324
00:21:09,912 --> 00:21:11,391
I'm not so sure.
325
00:21:17,836 --> 00:21:19,428
Three below zero?
326
00:21:21,131 --> 00:21:23,406
By Jove, he's broken the family record.
327
00:21:23,717 --> 00:21:25,867
No wonder I felt a little bit chilly.
328
00:21:26,053 --> 00:21:27,611
I'd better close the windows.
329
00:21:27,763 --> 00:21:30,231
No, no, no, that can't be right.
330
00:21:30,432 --> 00:21:32,343
I'd better take another reading.
331
00:21:45,364 --> 00:21:46,683
It's very tasty.
332
00:21:47,824 --> 00:21:48,973
What have you done?
333
00:21:49,117 --> 00:21:50,709
I was so hungry...
334
00:21:52,662 --> 00:21:55,176
Poor dear hasn't touched a thing all day.
335
00:21:55,373 --> 00:21:58,524
Even when he does eat he can't resist
those between-meal snacks.
336
00:21:58,752 --> 00:22:02,062
May I use your phone?
I'll have to alert the emergency hospital.
337
00:22:02,297 --> 00:22:04,333
Hey, Doc,
you got another one of those things?
338
00:22:04,508 --> 00:22:05,987
Really hits the spot.
339
00:22:06,134 --> 00:22:07,408
The thermometer?
340
00:22:07,719 --> 00:22:11,029
Do you realize you've swallowed almost
a full ounce of mercury?
341
00:22:11,264 --> 00:22:12,743
Well, it's a real picker-upper.
342
00:22:12,891 --> 00:22:15,689
Now he's beginning
to look like his old self again.
343
00:22:15,894 --> 00:22:17,088
He is?
344
00:22:17,228 --> 00:22:21,107
Dr. Milford, you're a genius,
an absolute genius.
345
00:22:21,357 --> 00:22:23,029
- I am?
- I could kiss you.
346
00:22:23,193 --> 00:22:26,265
- Please.
- That was a real medical coup.
347
00:22:26,696 --> 00:22:28,129
Pure mercury with...
348
00:22:29,908 --> 00:22:34,584
Well, some of medical science's greatest
discoveries have come about by accident.
349
00:22:34,871 --> 00:22:37,988
- Accident. Isn't he the modest one?
- Yes.
350
00:22:38,416 --> 00:22:42,455
Doctor, before you go, we have one
other patient we'd like for you to look at.
351
00:22:42,712 --> 00:22:45,180
Thing hasn't been feeling well at all lately.
352
00:22:45,381 --> 00:22:47,292
- Thing?
- Yes.
353
00:22:48,009 --> 00:22:49,727
I'm all out of thermometers.
354
00:22:49,886 --> 00:22:53,083
Oh, you won't need a thermometer
for Thing. This way.
355
00:22:57,393 --> 00:22:59,953
Thing, we have a surprise for you.
356
00:23:00,354 --> 00:23:04,711
Dr. Milford has cured Uncle Fester
and now he wants to have a look at you.
357
00:23:13,868 --> 00:23:16,177
- What's the matter with him?
- Maybe he caught what you had.
358
00:23:16,370 --> 00:23:17,405
Nonsense.
359
00:23:17,538 --> 00:23:19,688
He probably just remembered
an appointment he has.
360
00:23:19,874 --> 00:23:23,150
Well, he won't be able to do much
without his little black bag.
361
00:23:28,716 --> 00:23:30,229
Hey, these are tasty.
362
00:23:32,261 --> 00:23:35,970
You know, calling a family doctor
is like having your own delicatessen.
363
00:23:37,349 --> 00:23:39,783
I suppose that lets out Dr. Mbogo.
364
00:23:40,019 --> 00:23:43,136
It certainly does.
Unless it's something really serious.
365
00:23:59,162 --> 00:24:02,677
Darling, isn't it wonderful
that Thing wasn't really sick?
366
00:24:03,000 --> 00:24:06,037
Just depressed over our having
to cancel our outing.
367
00:24:06,378 --> 00:24:07,936
Quite so, cara m�a.
368
00:24:08,338 --> 00:24:10,568
Thing always has the family's interests
at heart.
369
00:24:10,757 --> 00:24:13,510
Back to your usual jolly yourself again,
eh, Thing?
370
00:24:21,143 --> 00:24:24,215
Looks like you're planning
something special for us, Uncle Fester.
371
00:24:24,437 --> 00:24:27,827
This will be the greatest family outing
we've ever had. Watch.
372
00:24:34,739 --> 00:24:37,333
Bravo! Bravo, Uncle Fester.
373
00:24:37,534 --> 00:24:39,889
You've really outdone yourself this time.
374
00:24:40,120 --> 00:24:43,829
From now on, Uncle Fester,
no more Christmas trees.
375
00:24:44,207 --> 00:24:46,004
We'll hang everything on you.
376
00:24:47,004 --> 00:24:57,004
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