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1
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Brico Killer, the king of home.
2
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Hi, handsome!
- I'm Manolo, the home improvements guy.
3
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I was expecting you.
You should've been here a long time ago
4
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to do the work! You useless idiot!
5
00:02:12,793 --> 00:02:14,156
What's up, Antonio?
6
00:02:14,230 --> 00:02:17,562
Get inside. The boss is waiting
for you to give you your paycheck.
7
00:02:17,654 --> 00:02:19,291
Now?
- Go on, go.
8
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Who the heck told you to sit down?
9
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You sit down now.
10
00:02:29,341 --> 00:02:31,452
So you're always late, huh?
11
00:02:31,618 --> 00:02:33,480
You don't look so clean either.
12
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Cleanliness!
13
00:02:35,150 --> 00:02:40,219
Above all, I want to see you at 8 sharp, just have
a cocoa for breakfast and no sandwich.
14
00:02:40,610 --> 00:02:42,018
I'm sick of you all.
15
00:02:42,085 --> 00:02:44,977
Here's your check and that's more than
you deserve.
16
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62 hours overtime, 15 unsatisfied clients,
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a terrible pain in the ass!
18
00:02:56,005 --> 00:03:03,534
And all this for 353 miserable euros and 4
lousy cents.
19
00:03:03,900 --> 00:03:06,659
You fucking fat walrus!
You prick!
20
00:03:07,390 --> 00:03:08,586
That's it?
21
00:03:09,825 --> 00:03:11,505
But I've got a flat to furnish,
22
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an empty flat, four walls, a few crappy things.
23
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I sleep on the floor. And you give me this?
How am I gonna make ends meet?
24
00:03:18,354 --> 00:03:22,808
Alright, as I'm a nice fellow, here's 5 euros.
I'll deduct it from your Christmas pay.
25
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:27,043
Go have some fun. Have a card of Christ of the Great Power too.
26
00:03:27,392 --> 00:03:32,329
Stop being such a dumbass, you shithead! I've
done my bit, now it's your turn to do your work.
27
00:03:32,530 --> 00:03:34,480
Get out of here, you asshole!
28
00:03:37,185 --> 00:03:40,642
Manolooo!
- Screw you! I can't take it anymore!
29
00:03:40,775 --> 00:03:42,108
You're all dickheads.
30
00:03:42,204 --> 00:03:46,745
If you're pissed have some chamomile tea listen
to classical music. Don't take it out on us!
31
00:04:07,119 --> 00:04:08,183
You bitch!
32
00:04:08,782 --> 00:04:09,432
Hi!
33
00:05:36,520 --> 00:05:38,530
Jason, Rebellion of the Machines.
34
00:05:38,531 --> 00:05:40,381
Maybe some day coming soon.
35
00:05:44,348 --> 00:05:47,647
Welcome, DIY pals! l'm Roberto Alcoceba.
36
00:05:47,913 --> 00:05:52,647
This Monday, Wednesday and Friday we'll be making furniture for your living-room.
37
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A coat stand,
38
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an armchair and a table.
39
00:05:57,234 --> 00:05:58,797
I sympathize with people
40
00:05:58,880 --> 00:06:02,620
who cant afford the little whims for their home.
41
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:05,250
People who have vices make me sick,
42
00:06:05,495 --> 00:06:07,789
but I feel very sorry for
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those who don't and can't afford furniture.
44
00:06:10,996 --> 00:06:13,472
I've been unemployed for a long time
45
00:06:13,688 --> 00:06:15,699
and thanks to my own pride
46
00:06:15,816 --> 00:06:18,874
and determination, became TV presenter.
47
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I, the man behind the screen, I know you,
48
00:06:23,694 --> 00:06:25,644
I know you don't have a dime.
49
00:06:25,689 --> 00:06:27,666
Nowadays we live in a society
50
00:06:27,716 --> 00:06:31,599
in which wages are under average, and
as we're working most of the time,
51
00:06:31,711 --> 00:06:35,305
the few precious moments we spend at home we must feel comfortable.
52
00:06:35,521 --> 00:06:39,078
And so, we have to do something that's fulfilling,
53
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saving some money in the process,
54
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to achieve the right atmosphere.
55
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You have to be king of your house!
56
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Together we'll share our passion for DIY!
57
00:07:15,970 --> 00:07:17,332
Holy shit!
58
00:07:35,401 --> 00:07:38,077
...I mean, a lot of money!
...we had a great time.
59
00:07:38,176 --> 00:07:40,438
We went partying, spent the whole night...
60
00:07:40,521 --> 00:07:44,045
Move! I'm in a hurry, damn it!
- This is the place l'll take you to.
61
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Lovely.
-Isn't it?
62
00:07:46,072 --> 00:07:47,767
There's even flowers and all.
63
00:07:47,834 --> 00:07:52,584
What the fuck are you doing?
-all white with red petals, on the table, some candles.
64
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You're so handsome.
65
00:07:54,914 --> 00:07:56,000
You cunt!
66
00:08:00,485 --> 00:08:03,395
What's this?
-It's a clock. I couldn't make it on time.
67
00:08:03,428 --> 00:08:05,539
And this? What's this?
-It's a level.
68
00:08:05,597 --> 00:08:07,947
You know what its for?
-To level up.
69
00:08:08,023 --> 00:08:09,023
You moron!
70
00:08:09,095 --> 00:08:12,469
Come on then! Take this, it should've been done by now!
71
00:08:12,552 --> 00:08:14,580
And work some overtime.
72
00:08:14,747 --> 00:08:18,221
You've not being productive enough, you shithead!
73
00:08:21,743 --> 00:08:24,137
So we said we'd measure 1 .5 m and saw.
74
00:08:24,215 --> 00:08:27,190
Pick up the screws. They should be
stainless steel.
75
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I dont like the others, they're bad quality.
76
00:08:29,683 --> 00:08:33,339
Hello there, can you hear me? You!
You have to be king of your house!
77
00:08:33,755 --> 00:08:36,630
Can you hear me? l'm Roberto Alcoceba.
78
00:08:37,495 --> 00:08:41,766
A screwdriver, a hammer, anything will do.
79
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Got it?
80
00:08:43,511 --> 00:08:45,589
Anything will do.
81
00:09:00,552 --> 00:09:01,632
Shit!
82
00:09:01,665 --> 00:09:04,624
You've made a mess of the job and you're gross too.
83
00:09:04,823 --> 00:09:08,611
You call this a repair? You lousy plumber. You're a screwup.
84
00:09:08,744 --> 00:09:11,088
Look, there's water everywhere
85
00:09:11,387 --> 00:09:12,849
This isn't right.
86
00:09:12,965 --> 00:09:14,893
And you get paid to do this?
87
00:09:15,126 --> 00:09:16,589
Yeah, yeah, ok.
88
00:09:16,688 --> 00:09:20,146
You're I-N-E-P-T. Do you know what that means?
89
00:09:20,428 --> 00:09:21,790
Inept.
-Ok, jeez.
90
00:09:21,890 --> 00:09:24,649
Look how fat you are.
What a big ass,
91
00:09:24,898 --> 00:09:26,999
I see you don't work your ass off.
92
00:09:27,109 --> 00:09:29,984
Look how fit I am, look at my muscles.
93
00:09:31,230 --> 00:09:34,000
I'll show you what I can do. I bet you can't do it.
94
00:09:34,613 --> 00:09:36,000
What do you think?
95
00:09:36,566 --> 00:09:41,614
Look, Fofito. Did you see that, baby?
See what a gross plumber they sent us?
96
00:09:41,865 --> 00:09:45,389
He even stinks. You smell good and you're cute.
97
00:09:45,754 --> 00:09:47,965
But he's disgusting and inept.
98
00:09:48,031 --> 00:09:51,256
See my puppy? He's so white and cute.
99
00:09:52,004 --> 00:09:53,999
Here, look how handsome he is. See?
100
00:09:54,165 --> 00:09:56,857
See? Did you see him?
101
00:09:57,007 --> 00:10:01,096
He smells better than you. You stink.
You give off a terrible stench.
102
00:10:01,578 --> 00:10:03,339
My puppy is so cute.
103
00:10:03,639 --> 00:10:05,251
Do you know his name?
104
00:10:05,367 --> 00:10:08,708
lt's Fofito, a clowns name, only prettier.
105
00:10:08,808 --> 00:10:10,304
Look how cute he is.
106
00:10:11,767 --> 00:10:13,645
How much longer will it take?
107
00:10:13,828 --> 00:10:17,102
Don't you wanna see him? Don't you like dogs? Well, screw you.
108
00:10:18,731 --> 00:10:21,657
Fucking stupid dog! You fucker!
109
00:10:22,454 --> 00:10:24,948
Please, don't! What have you done to my
dog?
110
00:10:24,974 --> 00:10:26,237
Fucking stupid dog!
111
00:10:26,290 --> 00:10:28,684
You pig, what have you done to my dog?
112
00:10:28,844 --> 00:10:30,798
You stop drilling me
113
00:10:31,343 --> 00:10:35,053
'cause now I'll drill you!
114
00:10:47,453 --> 00:10:48,303
Heeelp!
115
00:10:49,797 --> 00:10:52,888
Stop drilling me!
116
00:10:53,021 --> 00:10:54,118
Heeelp!
117
00:11:01,997 --> 00:11:05,521
I'm sick of you. Stop drilling me, you're inept!
118
00:11:06,136 --> 00:11:07,715
Inept!
119
00:11:15,453 --> 00:11:17,398
There's something you can do...
120
00:11:17,530 --> 00:11:19,999
be careful not to drive the drill bit too
deep because it might break.
121
00:11:20,340 --> 00:11:23,448
Be gentle. Sometimes you're too rough.
122
00:11:24,063 --> 00:11:27,537
I'll give you a piece of advice: it's important to buy quality tools,
123
00:11:27,637 --> 00:11:29,694
they will make your job easier
124
00:11:29,810 --> 00:11:33,467
and you'll be very, very, very surprised
with the results.
125
00:11:34,979 --> 00:11:37,007
Quality tools...
126
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:41,960
Quality tools...
127
00:11:42,110 --> 00:11:45,052
Quality tools...
128
00:13:02,602 --> 00:13:03,552
Hey, man!
129
00:13:04,829 --> 00:13:06,840
What's up, man?
130
00:13:15,305 --> 00:13:19,127
I got you, you asshole. You son of a bitch!
131
00:13:25,904 --> 00:13:29,000
What a bastard. You jerk,
you cut his arm off.
132
00:13:31,722 --> 00:13:35,395
Damn prick! Now I'm gonna
have to go back!
133
00:13:35,495 --> 00:13:36,595
You bastard!
134
00:13:42,988 --> 00:13:45,314
Son of a bitch! Asshole!
135
00:14:02,301 --> 00:14:06,290
Well, these are the last few details of the
magazine rack.
136
00:14:07,188 --> 00:14:10,346
As you can see, with a few tools
we've done a piece of furniture
137
00:14:10,546 --> 00:14:12,839
where you can put magazines.
138
00:14:14,085 --> 00:14:15,235
Here it goes.
139
00:14:15,847 --> 00:14:16,947
OK. Alright.
140
00:14:17,277 --> 00:14:21,648
You can put it next to the armchair, it'll look great there.
141
00:14:21,996 --> 00:14:26,025
They're screwing your life up, aren't
they? They screwed up your life.
142
00:14:26,208 --> 00:14:29,084
Well they screwed up mine too and here I am
143
00:14:29,244 --> 00:14:32,552
I'll help you decorate your house.
144
00:14:46,084 --> 00:14:47,048
Kill!
145
00:14:48,012 --> 00:14:49,176
Kill them all!
146
00:14:49,741 --> 00:14:50,954
Kill them!
147
00:14:51,237 --> 00:14:53,630
Decorate your house!
Kill them!
148
00:14:55,491 --> 00:14:59,198
Let's get started on this. What do you think? Let's do it!
149
00:15:02,821 --> 00:15:04,001
You fucker!
150
00:15:52,588 --> 00:15:56,194
Are you threatening me, you dickhead?
Fuck you!
151
00:16:10,175 --> 00:16:14,080
Alright. That's it! Now we've got it all, don't we?
152
00:16:14,413 --> 00:16:18,784
The coat stand, the armchair, the table,
153
00:16:18,884 --> 00:16:25,235
and also some very useful home
accessories such as a magazine rack.
154
00:16:25,367 --> 00:16:29,722
Now you can really sit down and enjoy
watching TV,
155
00:16:29,839 --> 00:16:32,065
arrange your clothes neatly
156
00:16:32,298 --> 00:16:35,000
and have a table, which is very important.
157
00:17:07,420 --> 00:17:08,899
Kickass!
158
00:17:27,687 --> 00:17:29,166
Hey, what's up?
159
00:18:15,069 --> 00:18:17,479
Well, this is goodbye.
160
00:18:17,870 --> 00:18:20,270
Roberto Alcoceba. Thank you very much.
12155
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