All language subtitles for Freaky Tales

No joke.

Like I said, wild.

But I never thought
too hard on it though.

To me, it was just
one of those freaky things

that made the Bay
so damn fresh.

Hi, I'm Sleepy Floyd.

Join me this weekend
at the Oakland Coliseum Annex

for Sleepy's Mind
Wide Awake Seminar,

sponsored by Psytopics
Learning Center.

At my workshop,
we'll teach you how to practice

mindfulness and relaxation
under stressful circumstances.

Licensed Psytopics instructors
will give you the tools

to connect
to the cosmic life force

and give you the power
to battle both inner
and outer demons.

Trust me,
you won't wanna miss Sunday.

So join me this weekend,
all ages are welcome.

Sleepy's Mind
Wide Awake Seminar...

...will blow your mind!

Chapter one...

AKA, The Gilman Strikes Back.

Yo, that movie was hella rad.

So grandpa knew about
the vampires the whole time,

but didn't bother to tell
anyone in his family?

Well, that's why it's fresh.
You don't expect it.

All I'm saying,
if you motherfuckers knew
about some secret vampire shit

going off in the neighborhood
and you didn't let me know,

we might have a problem.

Tina. I hate to break it to you,

but if there's a secret cult
of vampires living amongst us--

We would be all up in that shit.
Give me that.

Fair point.

- Eat a dick, dyke!
- Get out the truck

and see what happens!
I ain't playing!

- Suck my dick, Black bitch!
- Yeah, that's what I thought.

Keep driving!

- Bitch!
- Fuck you want, faggots?

Fuck you!

Go back to Fresno,
boneheads!

We'll see you punks later!

Fucking Nazis.

Let's go.

Dude, you know I'm from Fresno.

Yeah, I've been trying
to forget that.

So I was tailing this dude
outta Lucky's yesterday.

Tailed? Like you followed
some random guy?

Okay, you never
followed anyone before?

Hell, no,
that's some psycho shit.

You ever tailed anybody, Luce?

Uh... No.

- Whatever.
- Okay.

Stop looking at me
like I'm weird.

First time at Gilman?

No, I was here once.
Wanna see my membership?

- No.
- No way.

Psych.

Oh, shit!

- Dude, are you alright?
- Are you okay?

Yeah!

Whoo!

Let's go!

Hey, Troy!

- Yeah, meet me in the truck.
- Alright.

Yeah, Dad?

Did you know
the guy from Splash

used to sell hot dogs
at A's Games?

I don't eat meat.

I mean, I-I'm not trying to--

I'm saying, the guy from Splash.

- Did you see the movie?
- The mermaid movie?

- Yeah.
- Didn't see it.

Uh, what about Bachelor Party?

Do I look like somebody

who would see Bachelor Party?

First naked lady I ever saw
was in that movie.

Your first? Right.

'Cause you've seen
so many since.

I've seen a few!

Oh, shit.

Fucking boneheads
are back.

- Those Nazi fucks
just rolled up.
- Outside.

Fuck, again?

Come on, guys. Not tonight.

- Fuck you, Jew! Get the fuck--
- Here to volunteer.

And fuck you up!

- Shit, man.
- That's enough!

Stop! Stop! Stop!

Lucid!

Hey!

- Dude!
- Yeah, tough guy?

Fucking bonehead!

Hail Hitler!

Lay the fuck off, man.

You okay?

- Yeah. You okay?
- Yeah.

- Fuck you! Show's over, losers!
- Losers!

- Bye!
- Pussy!

Later, punk faggots.

Oh, it's cold.

It's supposed to be.

- Does that hurt?
- No.

Okay, tough guy.

I didn't mean it like that.

Can I ask you a question?

- No.
- Shut up.

You ever have a dream
then realize you're dreaming?

- Nah.
- I had one last night.

I was by myself in my room.

Everybody was gone.

It was quiet.

That's how I knew
I was dreaming.

My house is never quiet.

So, I started dancing.

I was eating, I forget what,

Pop-Tarts or some shit.

But then I was like,

"What am I staying
in the house for?"

The whole world was mine.

So I ran outside,

I started flying and shit.

It was so rad.

What would you do?

In a dream?

Yeah, it's all in your head.

You can do anything you want,
no consequences.

What?

I-- Nothing. I was--
I was thinking,

I see you blushing, tell me.

I was, uh,
thinking about flying.

That'd be... I'd fly too.
That'd be so cool.

Oh, man, that's boring.

That's what you did.

Alright, if I'm boring,
you're boring.

Whatever, Lewis.

Don't tell me.

What'd she say?

Nothing.

You hungry?

...Eddie Money.

- Eddie Money? Yeah.
- Oh!

- "Don't you know who I am?"
- What?

What?

Uh-huh.

He was singing,
you know?

We just have
to keep 'em out.

No shit, we've been trying.

There's too many of 'em.

There are more of us.

Yeah.

Okay, I'm just gonna say it.

- Cops.
- Nope.

I did some research.

We can hire
off-duty Berkeley cops
for 11 bucks an hour.

- You called the cops?
- To ask the question, yes.

Don't judge,
all options are on the table.

That's why we're here.

To be fair, Berkeley cops
are different from Oakland cops.

- We all know it.
- You got that right.

Come on, guys,
without Oakland cops,

there'd be no Black Panthers.

I'll call a vote.

Those in favor of hiring
off-duty Berkeley cops,

raise your hand.

Opposed?

So where does that leave us?

We fight.

A fight is what they want.

We can't meet their violence
with more violence.

- That's bullshit.
- I believe
in the ideal stenciled

on that sign back there.

But are you willing
to fight for them?

No violence means no violence.

Once you pass through the doors.

Oh, so violence is okay outside?

What about racism,
sexism, homophobia,

those okay outside too?

We're talking
about Nazis, Larry.

- Yes.
- I agree.

The rules don't apply to Nazis.

Dude, we got our asses kicked.

- Yeah.
- We supposed to just take that?

Tina's right, this is our house.

We built it with our bare hands,
and if we can't defend it,

- what's the point?
- Yeah, that's right.

Alright, I call
another vote then.

Those in favor of fighting
the Nazis, raise your hand.

So, now I'm the guy who didn't
wanna fight the Nazis.

Fuck that.

- Yeah!
- Yes, sir.

Connect
to the cosmic emerald light.

Picture you are now floating
outside yourself.

Look down and notice
you are no longer anchored

by earthbound flesh.

What's this?

Open it.

What's the occasion?

Today's the occasion.

I don't know, just open it.

Dude!

It's fucking awesome.

I love it, thank you.

Of course.

Oh, shit, whoa-oh!

Wait, you might wanna...
You might wanna put that away.

Can I tell you a secret?

I've never been
in a fight before.

You're in charge
of our security

and you've never been
in a fight?

Yeah, whose idea was that?

I just volunteered
to see free shows.

I never said
I could run security.

You never said you couldn't.

Yeah, well, it was going fine
for the most part

'til the fucking Nazis
showed up.

How many fights
have you been in?

I don't know.

More than zero,
I know that much.

So, one?

- Two.
- Two?

It was one too many.

So you lost one?

I lost them both,
which was fine the first time.

It was a good life experience.

The second time just hurt.

How do you think
you'll describe the third?

Ask me tomorrow.

- They're here!
- Shit, we gotta go.

Hey, Jew!

You can hide
behind a bunch of fags,

but that ain't gonna stop us
from coming in.

Die, Nazi scum!

Ah, fuck, fuck, no!

Chapter two...

But how about that greasy
saxophone-playing motherfucker?

I mean, he was fine, right?

Oh, I still believe!

Yeah, that shit was hella good.

Makes me wanna go to Santa Cruz.

But how come grandpa
didn't tell his family

- about the vampires?
- No, that shit cold, right?

I would be pissed.

So what now?
You wanna go to Giant Burger?

Hell, yeah.

- Shit!
- What?

Think I left my bus pass
in the bathroom.

Well, just go get it.

Alright.

Eat a dick, dyke!

Get out the truck
and see what happens!
I ain't playin'!

- Suck my dick, Black bitch!
- Fuck you!

Yeah, that's what I thought.
Keep drivin'!

- Fuck you, bitches!
- Fuck you want, faggots?

Go back to Fresno,
boneheads!

We'll see you punks later!

You okay?

Yeah.

I'll be right back.

Nazis trippin' again?

I don't know how we went
from Black Panthers

to Skinheads
running wild in this city.

But all I know is somebody
fell asleep at the wheel

- to let that shit happen.
- People need reminding,

ain't nothing cool
about being a Nazi.

It's 1987. You'd think people
would know by now, but, no.

Fo sho. You and your friend.

I've seen you before.

You're in Danger Zone, right?

Yeah. You've seen us?

I saw you perform
at the open mic night

at La Peña a few weeks back.

There was like ten people there.

I was one of 'em.

Hey, good news,
it was not in the toilet.

Bad news, I think somebody
pissed on it anyway.

- Who's this?
- I'm Lenny G.

- Lenny G?
- Lenny G?

- I work with Too $hort.
- We know who you are!

Girl, he knows who we are.

- Quit playin'.
- He saw us at open mic night.

There was like ten people there.

And he was one of 'em.

We got a show coming up.

Why don't you two come on stage,

spit some rhymes with $hort?

And why don't you
shut the fuck up?

- Let the man speak.
- What? He ain't being real.

$hort wanna try something new.

A battle rap section
to the show.

And based on what I saw
from y'all two,

I suspect y'all can hold
your own with him.

And I suspect
your suspicions are correct.

- We'll be there.
- Cool.

You might wanna have
something planned,

in case you get nervous.

Yeah,
we don't get nervous.

- Okay. We'll find out.
- Right.

See you there! Thank you!

Shit, I'm nervous.

Girl, me too!

We gotta stay ready
'cause they don't protect us.

These motherfuckers
need to respect us.

Here's the question...

What about this finale?

What about it?

I think we need
to practice it again.

Ooh, we already practiced it.

Hello, ladies.

How about you cut the chit-chat

and practice getting me
some ice cream here,

- what do you say?
- What can I get for you?

Um, how's your bubble gum?

It's good
if you like bubble gum.

Let me get a taste.

Mmm.

Yeah, I see what you mean.

Um, can you blow bubbles
with this gum?

Yeah, I-I guess so.

What else can you blow?

What's your favorite flavor?

Um...

Oh, wait a minute,
let me guess...

I bet you love
the chocolate showers.

Am I right?

You know what?

I think I know exactly
what's you want.

You look like
straight-up vanilla to me.

Don't judge a book by its badge.

I've been known
to have a sweet tooth
for the dark stuff.

Is that right?

What's the expression?
Ah, that's it.

The darker the berry--

The harder the slap.

I don't think that's it.

You wanna find out?

What can I get
for you today, officer?

Give me a sugar cone of vanilla.

Great choice.

Two dollars.

Aren't you forgetting something?

Looks like somebody's got
a freebie comin' his way!

I'd like my hole
punched, please.

Fucking pervert.

Hey, could we get
some help over here?

Oh, you want us to help you now?

Don't start with me,
Jesse Jackson.

What can I get
for you today, sir?

Where's my rocky road?

They were out.

They were out of rocky road?

Yep.

So you didn't think to ask me
if I wanted something else?

Nope.

Fucking bitch!

Ay yo. Would you ever take
a beginner class of Psytopics
with me?

Psytopics?

- No, ma'am.
- I mean, they say

- classes could help
control your reality.
- And you believe that?

You ain't never thought
about changing your reality?

We can change it tonight.

Look, all I'm saying is,

what if there is more
to free up here

in order to get free out here.

Okay, damn, that was deep.

I'll meditate on that one.

I guess you didn't hear
about Yolanda.

What about her?

She worked at Psytopics

for, like, six months.

Then, one day during class,

she just started bleeding
from her eyes and ears.

- Nah!
- Yeah!

Ask Cherry, she was there.

She thought her head
was about to explode.

Yeah, that shit crazy.

I mean, they at least
gave her a refund.

Oh, I hope so.

She sure shouldn't.

- Did you see that?
- Yeah.

Hey, um,
we're Barbie and Entice.

We should be on the guest list.

Oh, yeah, groupies around back.

- Groupies?
- Oh, hell, no.

We ain't no groupies.

We're from Danger Zone.

What's y'all name?

Entice. E-N-T-I-C-E.

Barbie. B-A-R-B-I-E.

I ain't got you
on the guest list.

Shit, see, I knew
that dude was lyin'. Damn!

Look, are you sure?

You're on the artist list.

The artist list.

Yeah,

that's us.

Artists.

Danger Zone.

So, listen.

Green room's through
that door, end of the hall.

Alright? Fo sho, have fun!

Artists we're... Artists.

- Ooh!
- Where is it?

He said at the end of the hall.

Is this it?

Oh, shit!

- I'm sorry.
- Oh, come on, $hort.

What happened?

$hort's in there.

For real?
Then why didn't you go in?

He eating pussy.

Oh.

Maybe we should give him
a minute then.

Maybe five...

ten minutes?

- End of the hall.
- Right.

They can't wake Sleepy!

Sleepy Floyd is Superman!

Mothafucker called him Superman!

Hey, 'sup, y'all?

Danger Zone!

Can y'all believe this game?

- Sleepy goin' off!
- Cool.

Hey, make yourself comfortable.

Y'all wanna drink?

- Sure.
- No. Thanks.

Lenny, you know, we ain't
really talk about money.

Right.

I was thinking 5% of the door.

Cool?

Hey, find me
after the show, okay?

Alright, sure.

Hey, you okay?

Yeah, I just thought
we was gonna go over it

at least one more time.

You'll feel it, okay,
I promise you.

I need a bathroom.

Come on, the show's starting!

Go ahead,
I'll be there in a minute.

You sure you're okay?

Yeah.

Yeah, just-just gimme a minute.

Aight.

We want $hort!

We want $hort! We want $hort!

Alright, y'all!

Give it up for the man
y'all came to see!

Oakland's own,

Too $hort!

What was going
through your head
in the fourth quarter?

Um, I wasn't really thinking
at all, Jim.

It was a strange feeling, uh,

as if I left my body
for a few minutes of it.

Well, you certainly
were playing
like a man possessed.

- Congratulations.
- Uh, thank you.

I just wanna say hi out there
to my mom,

and my girlfriend, Andrea,
watching at home.

We'll be right back

with the post-game show
after the break.

Before I went
to Psytopics,
my life was outta control.

I was on the street.

I didn't care about anyone,

and no one cared about me.

But everything changed

when I took my first class

at the Spiritual
Learning Center.

I learned there's
a cosmic force all around us.

Anyone can tap into it,
even you.

It's not a joke, trust me.

If you wanna change your life,
start by trusting your mind.

Start by trusting Psytopics.

Good to go?

Yeah.

So right about now,

I wanna try something new.

I feel like battling tonight.

- Yeah!
- Who with me?

But I don't think
nobody crazy enough

to jump on this stage
with Too $hort!

Oh, wait, hold up, hold up!

I think we found somebody.

What's this
WrestleMania bullshit?

Is Danger Zone in the house?

- Okay, that's us, let's go!
- Oh, no, wait.

- They set us up.
- What?

- Where you at...
- They wanna humiliate us.

What are you talking about?

Girl, they are calling us
on stage, now, let's go!

I don't think they showed up.

They think we're a joke.

- Bitch, do you see me joking?
- Danger Zone?

- I don't even know them.
- There they go!

Give it up
for Danger Zone, y'all!

Damn, they crazy.

- Y'all ready, right?
- Fuck, yeah, we ready.

Then let's do this.

Ask 'em, $hort!

Come on.

Nigga--

You got this, don't fight it.

Just breathe, now, tell him.

Alright.

- Let's see if y'all
can top that.
- Y'all better come with it.

Let's give it up
for Danger Zone!

Girl!

The third chapter...

Dr. Seale's office.

Dr. Seale, please.

- Hello?
- Dr. Seale, it's Clint.

How is she?

I've been trying to reach you.

I'm afraid she didn't make it.

What?

I'm sorry to have
to tell you like this.

We did everything we could.

What do you mean?
She's dead? She died?

I don't understand.
I was just there.

I'm sorry, Clint.

She took a turn for the worse.

There was just
too much bleeding.

We couldn't get her back
to the OR in time.

What about the baby?

She's in the NICU.
Unresponsive.

We're doing what we can,
but it doesn't look good.

Where are you, Clint?

There are some police here.

They'd like to ask you
some questions

about the, uh, the incident.

Any requests?

The Fly.

No. Nothing scary.

Sid & Nancy.

I wanted to watch it last year,
but you said--

I hate that music.
It's just noise.

It gives me a headache.

Oh, I said that?

Yup.

And then I said,
"It's not just noise.

It's actually about something."

And what'd I say?

"Yeah? What's it about?"

And you said?

"Emotional anarchy."

Cool.

You said that too.

And then we watched
The Money Pit.

Which was not a bad movie.

That actor's from Oakland.

He used to sell hot dogs
at A's games.

I shook him down
in the parking lot
after a game once.

I'm pretty sure it was him.

I'll see if they have it.

Be careful.

Clint.

Hurry back.

Hello?

Just a minute.

What's the score?

Lakers up big.

Damn.

You know, we got lucky
against The Mailman,

but these Warriors
cannot keep up with Magic.

- Yeah, well, you never know.
- I mean, look,

I'm just a movie guy.
I don't know much about sports,

but it's pretty obvious
the brooms
are coming out tomorrow.

- Can't win 'em all I guess.
- No, definitely cannot.

Which is why we love
the underdogs.

They're a projection
of ourselves.

We're all just
a bunch of losers.

We cannot kill Darth Vader,

and we cannot win a rumble
against the Soviets,

and we definitely
cannot beat LA.

And yet,

the underdog believes
they can achieve the impossible.

Top five underdog movies, go.

- Oh, I'm actually here for--
- Let's begin with the obvious,

Rocky. Most people
assume it's number one,

and I think it's best
just to get it out of the way.

It's probably your number one,
am I right? Nevermind.

Number four,
it just came out last year,

it's already an instant classic.

You know where I'm going, right?
Come on, basketball man.

Dennis Hopper, in the same year
as Blue Velvet,

breaking our hearts
both on and off the court.

Say it with me on three.

One, two, three. Hoosiers!

- I haven't seen it.
- And you call yourself
a basketball fan?

No. I'm just here
for some movies.

And I'm giving them
to you, Slim.

That's my job.

Number three.

Let's have it.

The Dirty Dozen.

- I've seen that.
- Underdogs

on a suicide mission
to kill Nazis.

Works on multiple levels.

- Right.
- Number two,

Sidney Lumet directed
this courtroom drama

from a perfect script
by David Mamet,

starring Paul Newman

at his incomparable
ambulance-chasing best.

The Verdict.

- I heard that was good.
- No, you didn't.

What you probably heard
is that it is amazing.

So why haven't you seen it yet?

Are you even ready
for number one?

You have no idea.

In his review of this 1979 film,

Roger Ebert wrote, quote,

"Movies like this
hardly ever get made.

When they're made this well,

they become precious
cinematic miracles." Unquote.

- Name that picture.
- Look,

I'm not here to play Jeopardy.
I'm here for some,

uh, specific titles.

I'm trying to provide you
with an experience.

I appreciate it.
Do you have...

Big Trouble in Little China?

Somebody just checked
that out. Sorry.

For a more nuanced portrait
of San Francisco's Chinatown,

I recommend Chan is Missing.

What about Tough Guys?

New releases. Anything else?

Ruthless People.

And?

The Color of Money.

And I thought you were here
for the movies.

- How much?
- Five hundred.

Behind the curtain.

Good luck.

Hey.

So what's number one?

I'll tell you when you come out.

Late Night Video.

No, some jackass stole
our entire collection.

But have you seen Scanners?
It's basically the same idea.

Yeah. See ya.

All in, assholes!

Call.

Call?

You're dumber than you look,
Yung. You know that?

I thought Asians
were supposed to be smart.

Oh, yeah.

Goddammit!

Ouch.
That looked painful.

Ah, shit.

Did that video dork
let you in?

I bought in like everyone else.

Okay, look.
You saw that, right?

Hella bad beat. I'm sorry.

Why didn't you say something
when you came in? I...

I had the money ten seconds ago.
It's still on the table.

You were in the middle
of a hand.

Yung, do me a favor.

I'm sorry to ask this,
but can I keep some of that

so I can get this clown
off my back?

No, no, no. That's his money.
I can't take his money.

What do you care?
I'm gonna pay him back!

He's not gonna
pay you back, Yung.

You're gonna have to hire a guy
like me to rough him up for you.

It's a nasty business.
Don't get involved.

Come on. What are you doing?

My job.

I thought you retired.

Aren't you having a kid?

Hey, congratulations,
by the way.

Thank you.

Ah, kids are the best.
Changed my life.

What do you have?

Two boys.

No.

What do you have for The Guy?

Nothing.

You saw what happened.
Yung took my money.

It's right there.

'Cause Asians are smarter.

Okay, listen. Check this out.

Careful.

Ah, er...

Courtside seats.

Game 4.

Warriors-Lakers.

These are worth
at least a thousand.

Anybody know how much
these tickets are worth?

Five hundred, tops.

What? No way, man.

We're talking about
the showtime Lakers.

Jack Nicholson
would pay a grand a piece.

Do you know Jack Nicholson?

No. But I'm sure I could make
a few phone calls.

Alright? I think
he'd be very interested.

- Okay.
- Okay, what?

Make some calls.

If you can sell 'em, I'll wait.

Will somebody buy these?

- Mm-mm.
- Please?

Two-fifty.

Kiss my ass, $250.

- Alright. Forget it then.
- Forget you then.

Okay.

I'll give these tickets
to The Guy.

I'll say they're worth $500,
more or less.

More. Definitely more.

But, okay, fine. Thank you.

You know it's not enough though.

What?

It's not enough.

- Those are courtside seats.
- Right or left?

Under the basket.

Right...

or left?

Come on, Clint.
Is this necessary?

You want me to choose?

Fuck it.

Ow!

- Ooh.
- Fuck!

Ah, you're alright.

- Fucking A! Fuck!
- This yours?

Fuck!

Yeah.

- You okay to drive? Yeah?
- Yeah.

Well, fellas...

I'm officially retired.

- Yeah!
- Good luck, homie.

What happened to the other guy?

What other guy?

The other dude who works here.

He was gonna tell me the best
underdog movie of all time.

I'm the only one here today.

No, there was another guy.

A little older. Maybe the owner?

But you're the owner, sir.

You've always been the owner.

I'm just fucking with you.
That was Hank.

He's hella intense, huh?

Oh, he's just
on his lunch break, so...

Uh, your nose...

Here.

Go Warriors.

Credit to the Lakers.
They just know how to win.

Aw!

You'll watch it with me?

Cost me 90 bucks,
you bet your ass
I'm gonna watch it with you.

- You bought this?
- I ran the numbers,
and I figured

we still come out ahead
on late fees.

So?

You know what this is?

A fist of fury.

It was a fist of fury.

Now it's just a hand.

- So no more punching?
- No more punching.

At least not for money.

Well, damn, baby,
let's celebrate!

Okay, but before we go to Reno,
can we stop at Cody's?

This new lady at work said
that she has
this Psytopics book.

She said it'll change my life.

You don't need a book
to change your life, baby.

Look at me.

You know who I am?

- No.
- Look closer.

Subtract seven years
from my face.

Now imagine,

I'm watching you kill my father.

It ends when The Guy
says it ends!

Stop!

I'm sorry.

I'm not the same person
that did that to your father.

The thing is,

I don't care.

Don't watch it without me, okay?

No...

No, no, no, no.

No, no, no!

Hey, mister,
you wanna buy a tape?

I made this East Bay
mix special for you.

Nah, kid, uh...

It's got Too $hort,
and I know you like $hort.

Richie Rich, Tower of Power.

And if you don't like
all that rap stuff,

it's got Sly
and the Family Stone,

The Pointer Sisters,

Sheila E., The Grateful Dead,

Operation Ivy, and Metallica,

if you're a rock and roll guy.

Trade you for these.

Pleasure doing business
with you.

It's fucking awesome.

- I love it, thank you.
- Of course.

Oh, shit, whoa-oh!

Wait, you might wanna
put that away.

You're late.

What's this?

Your fee.

It's light.

It's a taste.

Keep your taste,
I want the entrée.

We got one more job for you.

- The Warrior thing.
- The Warrior thing?

The basketball guys.

Can't talk about it here.

Yesterday was the last,
last job.

I did it, I'm done.

Fuck you.

Okay, I do not have time
for this.

You are 30 minutes late.

I'm gonna make this
real easy for you.

You got two choices.

You take that envelope,
give it to The Guy,

you pray he takes mercy on you,

'cause that is nowhere near
your debt.

Might be enough
to buy you another day.

How you pay tomorrow's
up to you.

What's he gonna do?
Make me break my own legs?

You've seen
these younger guys in action.

Cooper, Tuck.
They truly do not give a fuck.

They take a little
too much joy in the work.

A lot more than you ever did.

And my second choice?

Slide that envelope
back across the table,

do one more job with me
and my crew tonight.

One more job.
When's it ever end?

It ends when The Guy
says it ends.

You forgot about
door number three.

There's no door number three.

Door number three is...

I see you in hell
in a gasoline suit.

Okay.

Door number three it is.

You know what this means, right?

Everybody's on the table.

You, your family,
your fuckin' dog,

The Guy's coming
after everybody.

Well, I don't have a dog.

And my parents died
when I was 15,

and my pregnant wife
was murdered yesterday.

The Guy wants me,
he knows where to find me.

But you may wanna warn him...

I got nothing left.

Pain, Clint.

Maybe you don't mind dying,

but he's gonna collect
on that pain before you do.

Good.

I've caused a lot of people
a lot of pain in this town.

Maybe it's my turn
to bleed a little.

Can I see it?

Who's it for?

Nazis.

Aim for the neck.

Clint Flood?

We need you to ID a suspect.

For the Warriors
in this Game 4,

the backcourt
will be Sleepy Floyd
and Chris Mullin...

The underdog believes
he can do the impossible.

Defeat the bully,

sell enough mixtapes
to get out of the hood,

break enough bones to pay off
his father's debt.

I'm done believing.

I'm gonna die today.

Most people go
their whole lives not knowing
when they're gonna die,

fearing death.

But I can say with certainty,

this underdog
has seen his last day.

I'm okay with it.

My time has come.

And that's okay.

You hear what they found
in the kid's car?

- What?
- Psytopics Tape.

Psytopics?
They do the freaky commercials with the green eyes, right?

Thanks.

Yeah.

Okay. I guess
you better tell him then.

It's for you.

- Hello?
- Clint?

Jesus Christ, it's Dr. Seale.

I have good news, Clint.

Your daughter
is going to make it.

She's in stable condition,
she's responsive,

she's very much alive.

She's alive?

Yes. Yes, goddammit,
she's alive.

It's a fuckin' miracle.

Now get your ass
back to the hospital

and meet your girl.
You hear me?

- Yeah.
- Are you coming back?

Yeah.

I just have to do, uh...

I just have to do one thing.

Congratulations.

Looks like you have
something left after all.

Number three,
raise your head.

Yeah, just keep looking.

Take your time.
We're not in a hurry.

Number three.

Step forward.

He's right in front of you.

It ain't him.

Now, if you'll excuse me,
gentlemen.

I've gotta get my daughter
from the hospital,

and pick another day to die.

Final chapter...

Larry Smith,
Rolling Fort, Mississippi.

Eight points per game,
but rebounds are his specialty.

He scored 15 points
in Game 3.

Has no parents in town,

but he's got a girlfriend
sitting in his comped seats,

row 12, section C.

He had a childhood friend
come in town last night.

Staying in some shitty
motor lodge off Helgenberger.

That's some friend.

Chris Mullin, three-time
Big East Player of the Year.

Guy's got a Gold Medal
from the '84 Olympics,

but it's a high-risk,
low reward collectible

from some guy nobody's heard of.

- Mmm.
- It's his second season,

he already blew
most of his bonus on booze.

He's a lush,
and for what it's worth,

he's the only white guy
on the team.

Okay, fine, leave him
off the list. Next.

Purvis Short,

Hattiesburg, Mississippi.

What is it with this team
and all these Mississippi boys?

Fun fact, he was the fifth
overall draft pick in 1978.

You know who went sixth?

Do I look like
a basketball encyclopedia?

Larry Bird.

- Wow!
- Larry Bird.

Yeah, well, that is a fun fact.

Why are these teams so afraid
to pick a white man, huh?

Excuse me. Hey, Troy!

Yeah,
meet me in the truck.

Yeah, Dad?

Now what are you boys
up to tonight?

Just gonna drive around
and shit,

maybe beat up some fags.

Cool, and do you need anything?

No.

Are you sure?

Yeah, alright.

Thanks, Dad.

Just fill her up
when you're done, okay?

Good kids, fine people.

Please, go on.

Uh, Purvis Short, they call him
The Rainbow Man because--

'Cause he's a fag!

Is that because he's a fag?

Uh, he's got a unique arc
to his jump shot.

Okay, okay, okay, listen,
I'm gonna stop you there, okay?

Now, I respect your attention
to detail, I really do,

but I'm gonna request
from here on out,

no more fun facts.

Because I don't need to know

how many shots Terry Teagle made
in high school in 1977,

what Chris Washburn was smoking
on draft night last year,

or if Joe Barry Carroll's
nickname is Joe Barely Cares,

then so is mine.

I only wanna know,
A, where do they live?

B, what's in their house?

Is there anything worth taking?

And C, will the house be empty

on the night of the game?

Now with all that in mind,
please continue.

Eric "Sleepy" Floyd.

He's an All-Star point guard
out of Georgetown.

What did I just tell you?

Uh, he lives alone.

He's got a nice house
on Skyline Boulevard.

His family's in town
from North Carolina,

sister, brother, and mother,
they're all staying with him,

and they all attended
the last game,

so there's no reason to believe
they won't be there on Sunday.

My source says
that he's a collector
of ancient Asian art.

He has a hidden vault
in his house

with some extremely rare,
extremely valuable items.

Well, well, well,
how does he afford that?

Well, he makes around
200 grand per season, sir.

Most players spend this
on cars, coke, and pussy,

but he spent his
on a fine art collection
at Christie's

and I've got the auction logs
to prove it.

Good, add his name to the list.

He's fine, he'll be in there
for hours sometimes,

eyes closed,
just clearing his head.

There's five of them.

So?

So Ted said
there would be three,

sister, brother, and mother.

So there's a sister, brother,
mother, plus a sister
and a brother, who cares?

I just don't like
when the intel's off.

You wanna find a phone,
call Ted?

We're an hour from tip-off.

He's already at Teagle's house.

Well, what do you wanna do?

Fuck it. Let's go.

...A.C. Green
and Kareem Abdul-Jabbar.

While these knuckleheads
broke into Sleepy's house

looking for his art collection,

his girlfriend, mother,
brother, sister,

and college friend
from Georgetown

were settling in for Game 4
over in East Oakland.

Tickets! Who needs tickets?

I got two seats
under the basket.

To nobody's surprise,

the showtime Lakers dominated
the first three games

and showed no signs
of slowing down
early in this one.

Just as this legend
let go of this beautiful
skyhook over--

These porn star,

mustache-looking motherfuckers
were snatching up
his girl's jewelry.

By half-time,
eight different crews

were hitting up
eight players' homes

and I guess these cats
didn't get the memo not to fuck

with Chris Mullin...

...'cause they took
homeboy's shit too,

including his 1984
Olympic Gold Medal.

And this piece of shit
right here

killed Terry Teagle's
regal beagle.

And these dudes finally found
Sleepy's secret vault.

I found it!

Michael Thompson
meets Kareem underneath,

Kareem with a skyhook!

Great shot by Kareem,
really nice pass.

As expected,
the Lakers continued to roll
in the second half,

building a 14-point lead
after three quarters.

About this time,

Sleepy's mom started feeling
a little queasy,

it wasn't serious, but...

I shouldn't have had
that second hot dog.

You see,
Sleepy's mom
had recently experimented

with becoming a vegetarian.

In 1987, it proved difficult
to sustain the practice

in small town North Carolina.

She had just reintroduced
small doses of meat
into her diet.

And two Oakland-Alameda
County Coliseum hot dogs

- were perhaps one too many.
- It was good though.

Sleepy's girlfriend,
Andrea Harris,

volunteered to escort
Sleepy's ill mother home.

With the underdogs down 14,

Sleepy's Georgetown roommate,
Kelvin Quick,

agreed to stay and return home

with Sleepy and his sister,
Renee, after the game.

What happened next
has been hotly debated
over the years,

but this is the tale
as I know it to be.

Oh, my God, guys!
Sleepy Floyd, he is on fire!

Do you still want me
to fix you some tea?

That'll be good.

What is that smell?

Smells like something's burning.

Why is the TV on so loud?

Who the fuck are you?

Shut up and get on the floor!

Get on the floor!

Fuck, man, we gotta go.

Welcome back
to the Coliseum,

where nothing
is what as it seems tonight.

Lakers with the basketball!
Throw by-- Stolen by Floyd!

He's in multiple places
at once!

Sleepy puts the ball
in the court...

...a layup. He scored!

Unreal! He's unconscious!

What a shot!
Sleepy has 19 in the quarter,

and I need to catch my breath!

So do I, Greg.

All I can say is,
Sleepy Floyd's mom somewhere

is mighty proud
of her son tonight.

Still high
on his record-breaking
fourth quarter,

a record that still stands
to this day,

Sleepy and his crew decided
to hit up Giant Burger

on MacArthur Boulevard.

They ordered six quarter-pound
giant burgers

and a veggie burger for Mom.

While they waited
for their order,

other customers
recognized Sleepy

and a minor riot ensued.

Fun fact,
I was there that night

with the Danger Zone ladies,

and I attempted to pay
for Sleepy's order,

but Sleepy wasn't having it.

Instead, he paid
for everybody's burgers
and shakes that night.

Hey, hey,
what happened? I live here.

Mr. Floyd, I'm very sorry.

We can't let you
in the house yet.

Why? Yo, what's going on,
is my family inside?

There was a burglary.

They attempted to drill
into your vault,

but it appears
they were interrupted
before they got in.

I'm very sorry to inform you...

His brother was shot,

but alive in a coma.

His mother was alive,
but fainted from the shock.

His girlfriend, Andrea, though,

dead on the scene.

...Andrea didn't make it.

Hey, it's Chris Mullin.

They hit us all,
but nobody else got hurt.

Can I talk to Sleepy?

Hey, Chris,

appreciate the call, but he--

he's not ready
to talk to anybody.

I understand.
Tell him we're all standing by.

We're here for him
whenever he's ready.

Thank you, Chris.

Hey, we're all here
for you, man.

Just let me know
when you wanna talk.

Hello.

I need to talk
to Sleepy Floyd.

- Who is this?
- Never mind who I am,

just put him on the phone.

Look, I don't know who you are,
but we just had a tragedy here.

Okay? Sleepy's not talking
to anybody.

I promise you,
he'll wanna hear
what I have to say.

Hey, I already told you,
now is not a good time.

Call back later.

- Who was that?
- Uh, some chick said

she has something
to tell Sleepy. I don't know.

Hmm.

- Who's this?
- Is this Sleepy Floyd?

- Yeah.
- Okay, listen to me.

- I know who killed
your girlfriend.

Turns out,
these two punks overheard

some freaky shit
over in San Leandro

earlier that day.

We have one last job for you.

- The Warrior thing.
- The Warrior thing?

The basketball guys.
Can't talk about it here.

They told Sleepy
about "the basketball guys"
comment

and how they followed this dude
when he left the diner.

I mean, we were just
fucking around, you know,

killing time with some
Blue Velvet mystery-type shit.

We didn't really think anything
was gonna happen.

But then we heard the news,
and we thought
you might wanna know.

So they gave him
the address,
where they followed him,

before they had
to hop off quick

and take care of some business
of their own.

- They're here!
- Shit, we gotta go.

Sorry for your loss,

Mr. Floyd.

Thank you both for being here.

I'm gonna go to sleep now.

Whoo!

What the fuck is this?

You lost, boy?

Man asked you a question, son.

Now, I'm only gonna
say this once--

You fall asleep back there?

Hey,
who the fuck are you?

Fuck!

Come on!

Anyone else seeing this?

Son of a bitch, that is nice.

Life's funny sometimes.

You realize, if she'd just
stayed in her seat,

and watched her man play
the best fucking game
of his life, then...

that'd be mine.

And your old lady
would still be yours.

Hey.

Good game tonight.

Sir.

Floyd's out there
slicing people up with a sword.

Can you repeat that?

'Cause it sounded to me
like you said

someone's in my house

and they're slicing people up
with a sword?

Yes, sir, that's what I said.

We've got that cleared up, good.

- Who the fuck is Floyd?
- The basketball player,

Sleepy Floyd.

- Of course.
- I don't know how the fuck

he found us so fast.

Well, you killed
the man's family, Travis.

You know what that means,
don't you?

That means

you don't get to fucking decide

when he comes for his revenge!

You're on his timeline now.

Yeah?

Is he still alive?

Tuck's crew busted him up
pretty good in the van.

Not for long.

What about Floyd?

Did you think about just going
and shooting him?

Um, I dumped my piece
in the bay, sir,
just like you said.

And from a legal standpoint,

that was the right thing to do.

So...

Let's teach this clown
how to juggle.

Let's go.

Hey, asshole.

You ruined my party.

Now tell me something.

Did you do this all by yourself,

or do you have Dopey and Sneezy

hiding in a closet somewhere?

Huh?

Hey, Sleepy.

Wake up and die.

No... God.

Oh, wait a second.
I don't understand, oh, oh!

Argh!

Dad!

Hey.

What happened here?

By the look of things,

I'd say your daddy fucked
with the wrong warrior.

Sleepy Floyd is Superman!

And... set.

Background!

Marker.

Action!

Hi, I'm Sleepy Floyd.

I recently scored 29 points
in a single quarter

against the world champion,
Los Angeles Lakers,

an NBA record,

and not everyone
can do what I did.

After all, I am Superman.

But if you put your mind to it,

you can achieve your goals too.

Join me this weekend
at the Oakland Coliseum Annex

for Sleepy's Mind
Wide Awake seminar

sponsored by Psytopics
Learning Center.

At my workshop,
we'll teach you how to practice

mindfulness and relaxation
under stressful circumstances.

Licensed Psytopics instructors

will provide you the techniques
to go deep within your mind

to defend yourself
against the inner,

and outer demons in your life.

And for those attending
the advanced session on Sunday,

you'll learn how to infiltrate
and destroy your enemies

from the comfort
of your own mind.

Trust me,
you won't wanna miss Sunday.

So join me this weekend,
all ages are welcome.

And if you're a racist
Nazi scumbag,

you know who you are,

we have a special
one-time-only free admission,

because Sleepy's Mind
Wide Awake Seminar...

...will blow your mind!

Late Night Video. Hey, Corky.

Of course, we have it,

Raiders of The Lost Ark,
I've got five copies.

Bring back the other one
and make sure you rewind it,

'cause I'm gonna charge you.
Yes, I am.

Oh, you too.