Original subtitles

* In Napoli

* Where love is king

* When boy meets girl

* Here's what they say

* When the moon hits your eye

* Like a big pizza pie

* That's amore

* When the world seems to shine

* Like you've had too much wine

* That's amore

* Bells will ring

* Ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling

* And you'll sing "Vita bella"

* Hearts will play

* Tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay

* Like a gay tarantella

* When the stars make you drool

* Just a like pasta fazool

* That's amore

* When you dance down the street

* With a cloud at your feet

* You're in love

* When you walk in a dream

* But you know you're not dreaming, signore

* 'Scusa me, but you see

* Back in old Napoli

* That's amore

CHORUS: * When the moon hits your eye

* Like a big pizza pie

* That's amore

* And you'll sing "Vita bella"

* Hearts will play

* Tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay

* Like a gay tarantella

* Lucky fella

* When the stars make you drool

* Just like pasta fazool

* That's amore

* That's amore

* When you dance down the street

* With a cloud at your feet

* You're in love

* When you walk

* In a dream

* But you know

* You're not dreaming, signore

* 'Scusa me, but you see

* Back in old Napoli

* That's amore

WOMAN 1: He looks great.

WOMAN 2: That Al Conti is a genius.

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

I am a genius.

I am a genius!

If you're such a genius,

how come you can't keep track of your receipts?

Al, how am I supposed to do your income tax with this mess you got here?

Numbers, taxes, receipts.

I make them look better than they did in real life.

I'm an artistic genius!

Then how come you got butter on your tie?

Oh!

(GRUNTING) Give it here.

You know what? I give you this,

you make good coffee.

You're a slob, but you make good coffee.

Red roses. Hmm!

Very romantic. Ah!

Ah, the guy that sends these

really knows what he's doing.

The guy who sends those spends a lot of money

on something that could end up in the garbage.

I'm glad everybody ain't like you, Loretta,

I'd be out of business.

What are you talking? I love flowers.

Thanks, Carmine.

You ready?

Hello, Bobo. How are you tonight? Hi.

Very good, Mr. Johnny.

We will both have the Ticino salad...

Si.

...and I'll have special fish. Good.

No, you don't want the fish. No?

No, it's oily fish tonight. Not before the plane ride.

Well, maybe you're right. Okay, Bobo.

We'll have the manicotti, Bobo. Si, Miss Loretta.

That'll give you a base for your stomach.

You know, you eat that oily fish, you go up in the air,

halfway to Sicily, you'll be green.

And your hands will be sweaty.

You look after me.

WOMAN: Would you just let me say something?

I'm really bored with this.

I don't understand. Don't ruin the whole evening...

Now, Patricia, please don't leave.

Just what do you think I am, some sort of talking dog?

I was just making a point about the way you said,

the way you stated your aspirations. Yeah, well,

you can kiss my aspirations, professor!

"Kiss my aspirations?" Oh, very clever. Yeah.

Yeah, the height of cleverness.

(MAN LAUGHING)

Waiter.

Yes.

Would you do away with her dinner and any evidence of her,

and bring me a big glass of vodka.

Absolutely.

A man who can't control his woman

is funny.

(LAUGHING)

She was too young for him.

What's the matter, Uncle Bobo?

Tonight, Mr. Johnny is gonna propose marriage.

How do you know that?

He arranged it with me.

When he asks, he's gonna wave,

and then I serve the champagne.

(SIGHING)

Good bachelor customer for 20 years.

Mille grazie.

How's things, eh?

Fine, Bobo. We'll have the check.

There you go. No, no. I, uh...

I want to see the dessert cart.

Very good.

You never have dessert.

Well, never is a long time.

(GRUNTING)

What's the matter with you?

My scalp is not getting enough blood sometimes.

Have some dessert.

No, I shouldn't.

Will you marry me?

What? Huh?

Will you marry me?

Bobo, take the cart away.

Very good, Miss Loretta.

Are you proposing marriage to me?

Yes.

All right, you know I was married and that my husband died.

But, what you don't know is I think he and I had bad luck.

What do you mean?

Well, we got married down at the city hall.

I think it gave bad luck to the whole marriage.

I don't understand.

Right from the start, we didn't do it right, okay?

Could you kneel down?

On the floor? Yeah, on the floor.

This is a good suit!

I know that. I helped you pick it out.

It came with two pairs of pants. Johnny, it's for luck.

I mean, a man proposes marriage to a woman, he should kneel down.

She's got him on his knees. He's ruining his suit.

Is that man praying?

So... Where's the ring?

The ring! A ring.

That's right.

I would've sprung for the ring if it was me, capisce?

You could use your pinkie ring.

I like this ring.

You propose marriage to a woman,

you should offer her a ring of engagement.

Shh.

Loretta.

Loretta Castorini Clark,

on my knees,

in front of all of these people,

will you marry me?

Yes, Johnny.

Yes, John Anthony Cammareri, I will marry you.

I will be your wife.

Bravo! Bravissimo!

Salute, paisano!

Bobo! The check!

Right away, Mr. Johnny.

What about the wedding?

My mother is dying.

When she's dead, I'll come back, and we'll get married.

How near death is she?

A week. Two weeks. No more.

Well, now, how about we set a date. How about a month?

Must it be so definite?

Can't we just say we'll be married when I get back?

Where? At the City Hall? No!

My mother is dying.

And I want a whole wedding, or we'll have bad luck.

And for a whole wedding to be planned you gotta set a date.

All right. All right. All right. A month.

A month from today.

In a month. A month from today?

Yes, a month from today.

Okay, okay.

Okay, okay. All right. Right today.

I'll take care of it, Johnny. I'll take care of the whole thing.

All you got to do is show up.

MAN ON PA: 700 departure for Paris.

Please proceed to gate number 29.

Call me when you get in.

I'll call you when I get to Mama's house.

Okay. You made me very happy.

There's one thing about this wedding I want you to do.

I want you to call... I want you to call this number.

It's a business number.

You ask for Ronny. Invite him to the wedding.

Okay. Who is he?

It's my younger brother.

You got a brother?

We haven't spoken in five years.

There was some bad blood.

I want you to call him and invite him to the wedding.

Will you do it? Sure.

MAN ON PA: International flight number 604 for Rome

with connections to Palermo is now boarding at gate 43.

I got to go.

You got your ticket?

Okay, here. I got you these gum and cough drops.

Gum opens your ears while you chew. Yeah.

Okay, I gotta go.

MAN ON PA: This is the last call

for international flight number 604 for Rome now...

You have someone on that plane?

Yeah, my fiance.

I put a curse on that plane.

My sister is on that plane.

I put a curse on that plane

that it's going to explode.

Burn on fire and fall into the sea.

Fifty years ago, she stole a man from me.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Today she tells me that she never loved him,

that she took him to be strong on me.

Now she's going back to Sicily.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

I cursed her.

That the green Atlantic water should swallow her up!

I don't believe in curses.

Neither do I.

Mr. Johnny's, right? Yeah.

Good night. Good night.

The key's in it.

(MUSIC PLAYING)

WOMAN: I've heard that song before.

What are you talking about?

I've seen the way you look at her, and it isn't right!

How do I look at her? Can I help you?

A split of Mumm's.

So, how do I look at her?

Like a wolf.

Like a wolf, huh?

Aha, like a wolf.

You've never seen a wolf in your life.

That's $11.99.

I seen the wolf in everybody I ever met,

and I see a wolf in you.

Mmm-hmm.

That makes 20.

Thanks. Have a nice night.

You, too.

You know what I see in you?

What?

The girl I married.

Oh, come on.

Good night. Good night.

Good night.

(WOMAN SINGING ON RADIO) * Let it please be him

* Oh, dear God, it must be him

* It must be him

* Or I shall die

* Or I shall die

* Oh, hello, hello, my dear God... *

(BARKING)

Hi, guys!

Ooh, sweethearts! How are you? How are you?

Guess what happened to me today?

Ciao, bello.

Ciao. Bueno notte.

(DOG BARKS) Hey!

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Hey! How long must I wait?

Come here.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Hi, Pop. Oh, hi.

Where's Ma?

In bed. You're not sleepy?

I can't sleep anymore. It's too much like death.

Pop, I got news.

All right.

Let's go into the kitchen.

* I start to pray

(HUMMING ALONG)

* Let it please be him

* Oh, dear God

* It must be him

* It must be him

* Or else I shall die * Or else I shall die

(CORK POPPING)

* Or I shall die * Or I shall die

Okay.

* Hello, hello, my dear God

* It must be him

Ti amo.

Ti amo.

You look tired, Pop.

So what's your news?

I'm getting married.

Again? Yeah.

You did this one before, it didn't work out.

But the guy died. And what killed him?

He got hit by a bus.

No. Bad luck.

You're mother and I were married 52 years. Nobody died.

You were married, what, two years? Somebody's dead.

Don't get married again, Loretta, it don't work out for you.

Who's the man? Johnny Cammareri.

John... Johnny Cammareri.

He's a big baby.

And why isn't he here with you telling me this?

Because he's flying to Sicily. His mother is dying.

More bad luck.

I don' t like his face, Loretta, don't like his lips.

When he smiles, I can't see his teeth. What is he hiding?

When you gonna do it? In a month.

I won't come. You gotta come.

You gotta give me away!

I didn't give you away the first time.

And I had bad luck!

You know, maybe if you gave me away,

and if I got married in a church, in a wedding dress,

instead of down at the City Hall,

with strangers standing outside the door,

then maybe, I wouldn't have had the bad luck I had.

Maybe.

You know, Pop, I had no reception,

no wedding cake, no nothing.

Johnny got down on his knees and proposed to me at the Grand Ticino.

He did? Yes.

That don't sound like Johnny.

Well...

Where's the ring? Here.

It looks stupid. It's a pinkie ring.

It's a baby, it's a man's ring.

It's temporary!

Everything is temporary! That don't excuse nothing.

You're coming?

Let's go tell your mother.

Rose.

Rose.

Rose.

Rose!

Who's dead?

Nobody. Loretta's getting married.

Again?

Yeah.

Johnny Cammareri. I don't like him.

You're not gonna marry him, Cosmo.

Do you love him, Loretta?

No. Good.

When you love them, they drive you crazy because they know they can.

But you like him? Oh, yeah.

You know, he's a sweet man, Ma.

And this time I'm gonna get married in a church and have a big reception.

And who's gonna pay for that?

Pop. What?

The father of the bride pays.

I have no money.

You're rich as Roosevelt.

You're just cheap, Cosmo.

I won't pay for nothing.

You know, it's your duty as my father to pay for the wedding.

COSMO: I won't pay for nothing.

He didn't used to be cheap.

He thinks if he holds onto his money,

he will never die.

* What's done is done

(SIGHING)

Now he's going to play that damn Vikki Carr record,

and when he comes to bed, he won't touch me.

* Have a lot of fun

* It's easy when you play it cool *

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

BOY 1: Look at that old man.

BOY 2: I can't believe how many dogs he's got.

(BOTH LAUGHING)

BOY 1: Hey, keep your dogs off my lawn.

(BOY 1 LAUGHING)

Come on.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(BELL TOLLING)

Come on.

Don't do that. She's asleep.

OLD MAN: Look all the flowers on Foncica.

My brother sent her a blue flower.

I can only see things in my house.

And things in my house are very bad.

I don't know what to advise my son.

I think he should pay for the wedding.

But it's important that he don't look ridiculous.

Well, why don't you talk to him?

I will.

But I must find the right moment.

See la bella luna last night?

Ah, si.

Ah, si, la luna. La bella luna.

The moon brings the woman to the man.

Capisce? Capisce.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(DOG BARKS)

Andiamo.

(MEN CHATTERING IN ITALIAN)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Ciao. Ciao.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(DOG BARKS)

Andiamo, andiamo.

Come va? Bene, bene.

Upstairs. Everybody upstairs.

Bene, bene!

Come on. Bendiamo.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

LORETTA: Ciao, bello.

OLD MAN: Ciao, ciao.

So, will you live here?

No.

Why not?

Pop don't like Johnny.

Hmm. We'll sell the house.

I got married before, you didn't sell.

Grandma was still alive.

Chiro was still home going to school.

Now he's married, gone to Florida.

If you and Johnny moved in, had a baby...

Ma, I'm 37 years old.

What's 37? I didn't have Chiro till after I was 37.

It ain't over till it's over.

Johnny's got a big apartment.

You know, we'll move in there.

So we'll sell the house.

You know what?

I want to live here, I love the house.

Pop don't like Johnny.

No, he don't.

(SIGHING)

(TELEPHONE RINGS)

I'll get it. I'll get it.

(TELEPHONE RINGING)

Hello?

(WOMAN SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Yeah, yeah. This is Loretta Castorini.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Johnny!

Johnny?

JOHNNY: Operator?

Op, op...

Loretta? Yeah!

Yes.

(SHUSHING)

It's me.

I'm calling from the deathbed of my mother.

Yeah, well, how was your plane ride?

The waitresses were very nice.

My mother is slipping away!

How long do I have to wait?

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(PRAYING IN ITALIAN)

I can't talk long.

Did you tell her we're getting married?

Oh, no, no. Not yet.

I'm waiting until a moment when she's peaceful.

Well, don't wait till she's dead.

Have you called my brother?

No, I'm sorry. No. Not yet. I forgot.

Will you do it today?

Yes. Yes.

Make sure he comes to the wedding.

Five years is too long for bad blood between brothers.

Nothing can replace the family, Loretta.

I can see that now.

Loretta? Loretta, are you there?

Loretta!

Okay, I'm sorry. I'll do it. I'll do it today.

And, listen, Johnny, you know, call me after you tell her, okay?

All right. All right.

And don't stand directly under the sun.

You got a hat, use your hat.

I got my hat. All right. All right. All right. Bye.

All right. Bye-bye.

Now what did I do with that card?

How's the mother?

She's dying. But I could still hear her big mouth.

(PRAYING IN ITALIAN)

(SOBBING)

(BLOWS NOSE LOUDLY)

He didn't tell her!

You know, the woman makes him crazy.

Now who are you calling?

(RINGING)

Cammareri's.

Yeah, is Ronny Cammareri there, please?

Hold on. Ronny, the phone!

Ronny!

Yeah, this is Ronny.

Yeah.

I'm calling for your brother.

And he's getting married. And he would like it if you would come.

Why didn't he call himself?

He's in Palermo.

What's wrong can never be made right!

Look, let me just come and talk...

Talk to you!

Animal!

What an animal!

Thanks, Mrs. Fugocci. Here you go.

Okay, bye. See you tomorrow.

Goodbye. Come on, honey.

Is Ronny Cammareri here?

He's down at the ovens. What do you want?

I want to talk to him.

This way.

Ronny? MAN: What?

Somebody here to see Ronny.

Ronny!

Ronny, somebody wants to see you!

Have you come from my brother Johnny?

Yeah. Why?

Well, we're going to get married.

You're going to marry my brother Johnny?

Yeah. Would you like to go someplace where we could...

I have no life.

Excuse me?

I have no life.

My brother Johnny took my life from me.

I don't understand you.

And now he's getting married.

He has his.

He's getting his,

and he wants me to come.

What is life?

You know, I didn't come here to upset you.

They said bread is life.

And I bake bread, bread, bread.

And I sweat, and shovel this stinking dough

in and out of this hot hole in the wall

and I should be so happy.

Huh, sweetie?

You want me to come to the wedding of my brother Johnny?

Where's my wedding?

Chrissy, over by the wall. Bring me the big knife.

CHRISSY: No, Ronny!

Bring me the big knife. I'm going to cut my throat!

Maybe I should come back another time.

No, I want you to see this. I want you to watch me kill myself

so you can tell my brother Johnny on his wedding day.

Okay?

Chrissy, bring me the big knife!

I tell you, I won't do it!

She won't do it.

Do you know about me? Oh, Mr. Cammareri...

What?

Do you know about me?

Uh-uh.

Okay.

Nothing is anybody's fault, but things happen.

Look.

This wood is fake.

Five years ago, I was engaged to be married.

And Johnny came in here and he ordered bread from me.

I said, "Oh, okay, some bread."

And I put my hand in the slicer, and it got caught,

'cause I wasn't paying attention.

The slicer chewed off my hand.

And it's funny.

'Cause when my fiance found out about it,

when she found out that I'd been maimed, she left me for another man.

That's the bad blood between you and Johnny?

Yes, that's it.

Yeah, but I... That's not Johnny's fault.

I don't care! I ain't no frickin' monument to justice!

I lost my hand! I lost my bride!

Johnny has his hand! Johnny has his bride!

You want me to take my heartbreak, put it away and forget?

Is it just a matter of time

before a man opens his eyes

and gives up his one

dream?

His one dream of happiness?

Maybe.

Maybe.

CHRISSY: This is the most tormented man I have ever known.

I'm in love with this man, but he doesn't know that.

'Cause I never told him because he could never love anybody

since he lost his hand and his girl.

Where do you live?

Upstairs.

Can't we just talk?

What are we painting here, the Sistine chapel?

(CHUCKLING)

We should've been plumbers like Castorini.

(SIGHS)

(CLICKING TONGUE)

Well, Mr. Castorini, what do you think?

$10,800.

That seems like a lot.

Look, there are three kinds of pipe.

There's the kind of pipe you have, which is garbage.

And you can see what that's gotten you.

Then there's bronze. Which is pretty good.

Unless something goes wrong.

And something always goes wrong.

And then, there's copper.

Which is the only pipe I use.

It costs money.

It costs money because it saves money.

(SIGHS)

I think we should follow Mr. Castorini's advice, heart.

And then, there's copper.

Which is the only pipe I use.

It costs money.

It costs money because it saves money.

And what did they say?

Well, the man understood me.

The woman wanted to be cheap,

but the man saw it was right.

You have such a head for knowing. You know everything.

I brought you something.

It's a present.

Oh, Cosmo!

(GASPING)

Oh, my God!

They're little birds and stars.

Birds flying to the stars, I guess, huh?

(ARIA PLAYING FROM LA BOHEME)

What's that smell?

I'm making you a steak.

I don't want it.

You'll eat it.

I like it well-done.

You'll eat this one bloody to feed your blood.

(SIGHING)

This is good.

Loretta.

Where did Johnny find you?

He knew my husband, who died.

How'd he die? A bus hit him.

Fast? Instantaneous.

When you get engaged?

Yesterday.

So, five years ago you got your hand cut off

and your woman left you, no woman since then?

No.

Stupid.

When did your husband get hit by the bus?

Seven years ago.

How many men since then?

Just Johnny.

Stupid yourself.

No, unlucky! I have not been lucky.

I don't care about luck. You understand me?

It ain't that.

What's the matter with you?

I mean, you think you're the only one who ever shed a tear?

Why are you talking to me?

You got any whiskey? How about you give me a glass of whiskey?

(VEHICLES HONKING)

I'll call you later.

(HONKING)

(LORETTA SIGHING)

She was right to leave me.

You think so?

Yeah.

You really are stupid, you know that?

You don't know nothing about it.

Look,

you know, I was raised that a girl gets married young.

I held out for love.

I got married when I was 28.

I met a man. I loved him, I married him.

And then he wanted to have a baby right away

and I said no, that we should wait.

And then he gets hit by a bus!

So what do I got? I got no man, no baby, no nothing.

You know, how did I know that that man was a gift I couldn't keep?

My one chance of happiness.

You tell me this story and you act like you know what it means.

But I can see what the true story is and you can't.

That woman didn't leave you, okay?

You can't see what you are and I see everything. You're a wolf.

I'm a wolf? Yeah.

(STUTTERING) The big part of you has no words

and it's a wolf.

You know, the woman was a trap for you.

She caught you and you couldn't get away

so you chewed off your own foot.

That was the price you had to pay for your freedom.

You know, Johnny had nothing to do with it.

You did what you had to do between you and you.

(SCOFFING) And now,

now you're afraid because you know the big part of you

is a wolf that has the courage to bite off its own hand

to save itself from the trap of the wrong love.

That's why there's been no woman since that wrong woman.

Okay?

You're scared to death of what the wolf will do

if you try and make that mistake again.

What are you doing?

I'm telling you your life. Stop it!

No!

Why are you marrying Johnny, he's a fool!

Because I have no luck.

He made me look the wrong way, and I cut off my hand.

He could make you look the wrong way.

You could lose your whole head!

I'm looking where I have to to become a bride.

A bride without a head.

A wolf without a foot!

(GRUNTING)

Wait a minute! Wait a minute!

(MOANING)

What are you doing?

Son of a bitch!

Where are you taking me?

To the bed.

Oh, God! Okay, I don't care! I don't care!

Take me! Take me to the bed.

I don't care about anything.

I don't believe this is happening.

I was dead. Me, too.

(SIGHING)

What about Johnny?

You're mad at him.

Take it out on me. Take your revenge out on me!

Leave nothing left for him to marry,

leave nothing but the skin over my bones!

All right. All right.

There will be nothing left!

(BOTH MOANING)

ROSE: Come on, let's eat while it's hot.

COSMO: Where's Loretta, huh? We're going to eat without her?

Well, she must be eating out.

She sure don't know what she's missing.

It's not like her not to call.

Well, she's got a lot on her mind.

We can talk about it, right, Rose?

I mean everybody knows she's getting married again.

I don't want to talk about it.

Johnny Cammareri. I think it's a great idea and about time.

What's she going to do with the rest of her life, if she don't get married?

COSMO: I don't want to talk about it!

My father needs another plate.

RAYMOND: Cosmo.

Many years ago when they told me

you were marrying my sister, I was happy.

When I told Rose that I was marrying Rita, she was happy.

Well, marriage is happy news, right?

(ALL CHUCKLING)

Rose, pass the wine.

RAYMOND: I've never seen anybody so in love like Cosmo was back then.

He'd stand outside the house all day looking in the windows.

I never told you this 'cause it's not really a story.

One time I woke up in the middle of the night

'cause of this bright light in my face, like a flashlight,

I couldn't think of what it was.

I looked out the window,

and it was the moon,

as big as a house.

I never seen the moon so big before or since.

I was almost scared, like it was going to crush the house.

And then I looked down,

and standing there, in the street,

was Cosmo looking up at the windows.

(LAUGHING) This is the funny part.

I got mad at you, Cosmo.

I thought you had brought that big moon over to my house,

because you were so in love and woke me up with it.

I was half asleep, I guess. I didn't know anything.

You were altogether asleep. You were dreaming.

No.

You were there.

I don't want to talk about it.

Well, what do you want to talk about?

Why are you drinking so much?

(DOG WHIMPERS)

Old Man, you give those dogs another piece of my food,

I'm going to kick you till you're dead!

Cosmo?

Cosmo?

You drank too much.

Now you'll sleep too hard,

and later you'll be up when you should be down.

RONNY: What's the matter?

Nothing. I'm looking at the moon.

It's perfect.

I never seen a moon like that before.

It makes you look like an angel.

It looks like a giant snowball.

Rita. What?

Rita, dear. What?

Wake up.

What?

Look.

Oh.

Hmm.

It's Cosmo's moon.

What are you talking about?

Cosmo can't own the moon.

It's that moon I was talking about.

At dinner.

Is he down there?

Is who down there?

Cosmo.

Well, what would he be doing down there?

I don't know.

You know something?

In that light,

with that expression on your face,

you look about 25 years old.

What do you want?

Rita.

What do you want?

(LAUGHING)

Get out! Get out!

Rita. No!

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Why do you make me wait?

Come on! Come on, eh!

Howl! Howl!

(HOWLING)

(DOGS BARKING)

(HOWLING)

(LAUGHING)

Howl!

La luna.

Oh, my God!

What?

What!

Take it easy.

This time, I was trying to do everything right.

Don't just become excited.

I thought if I stayed away from the City Hall,

I wouldn't have the bad luck I've had again.

You're making me feel guilty.

I'm marrying your brother!

All right, I'm guilty, I confess.

The wedding's in a couple of weeks. You're invited, okay?

How come you didn't be like him and be with your mother in Palermo?

She don't like me.

You don't get along with anybody, do you?

What did you do?

What did I do?

You've ruined my life.

That's impossible!

It was ruined when I got here.

You ruined my life!

No, I didn't.

Oh, yes, you did! Oh, yes, you did!

You know, you got them bad eyes like a gypsy.

And I don't know why I didn't see it yesterday.

Bad luck! That's it!

Is that all I'm ever going to have?

I should have taken a rock and killed myself years ago.

I'm going to marry him. Do you hear me?

Last night never happened and I'm going to marry him.

And you and I are going to take this to our coffins.

I can't do that. Why not?

I'm in love with you.

Snap out of it!

I can't.

All right, well then, I must never see you again,

and the bad blood will just have to stay there

between you and Johnny forever.

And you won't come to the wedding.

I'll come to the wedding.

I'm telling you, you can't come!

He wants me to come.

That's because he don't know, okay?

Now, wait a minute. Honey!

Listen, all right.

I won't come to the wedding provided one thing.

What?

That you come with me tonight to the opera.

What are you talking about?

I love two things, I love you and I love the opera.

Now, if I can have the two things that I love together for one night,

I would be satisfied to give up...

Oh, Christ!

To give up the rest of my life.

All right, all right.

All right. All right!

Meet me at The Met. All right, all right.

Where's The Met?

Well, you got to...

Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.

It's been two months since my last confession.

What sins have you to confess?

Twice I took the name of the Lord in vain,

once I slept with the brother of my fiance,

and once I bounced a check at the liquor store,

but that was really an accident.

Then it's not a sin.

But,

what was that second thing you said, Loretta?

You mean the one about once I slept with the brother of my fiance?

That's a pretty big sin.

I know.

You should think about this.

I know.

All right. For your penance, say two rosaries.

Be careful, Loretta.

Reflect on your life.

All right.

(PRAYING IN LATIN)

Amen.

Hi.

Where you been?

I don't want to talk about it.

Just like your father.

I lied to him.

He thinks you came home last night.

Thanks.

(SIGHING)

What's the matter with you?

Cosmo's cheating on me.

What? How do you know this?

A wife knows.

You don't even know. You're just imagining it.

He's too old.

I won't be home for dinner.

Oh.

(SCATTING)

I feel great!

I got no sleep, but I feel like Orlando furioso.

You were a tiger last night.

And you were a lamb.

As soft as...

Hey! ...milk.

(SHUSHING) Lower your voice. They'll hear you.

So what?

The pleasure of marriage is, you sleep with the woman,

you don't worry about nothing!

Quiet, Raymond!

Hey, how about a date tonight, Rita, huh?

What's the matter with you? Shut up!

Oh! We'll eat some pasta. Please!

We'll fool around a little. What's gotten into you?

I don't know. I really don't know.

That moon, that crazy moon Cosmo sent over.

Hi, Aunt Rita. Hi, Uncle Raymond.

Hey there!

* You with the stars in your eyes *

What's the matter with him?

You got me.

RAYMOND: See that moon last night?

(STUTTERING) What moon?

Did you see it? No.

Oh.

Listen, I got to go, okay? I'll take the deposit to the bank,

but then I got to come back tomorrow and do the books.

Well, sure. You got a date?

What are you talking about, you fool!

Her fiance's in Palermo! Date! What date?

Oh, right.

I just got a lot of things to do.

Yeah, you got all that wedding stuff, huh?

Yeah.

Hey, that's romantic, too!

* Isn't it romantic?

Hey, Frankie! Make me a bowl of minestrone.

(WOMEN LAUGHING)

What's the matter with you? You look crazy.

I got a lot on my mind.

What? I got a lot on...

What? Don't tell me you got a lot on your mind!

What's the matter with you?

I don't want to talk about it, okay?

I don't want to talk about it.

LORETTA: Take out the gray.

I have been wanting to do this for three years!

Listen, let me show you some magazines, huh?

And you're going to need a manicure, yes.

All right, you take her, Batina.

She's gonna take out the gray.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN) Oh, yeah, your eyebrows.

Someone's gonna have to do your eyebrows.

What are you... Wait. Something very nice.

Wait a minute!

Has anybody here ever been to the opera?

WOMAN: Not me.

(WOMAN CHUCKLING)

Bellissima without those ugly grays.

WOMAN 1: Oh, it is fantastic.

You ever been to the opera?

No, have you?

Ow! No.

Batina, you ever been to the opera?

Ooh!

WOMAN: La traviata? La boheme?

LORETTA: I never been there.

WOMAN: You going to The Met? Yeah.

(WOMEN CHATTERING)

WOMAN 2: ...she came in. And when she turned 40 and her husband left her.

All right. Bye-bye.

Okay, okay. Okay.

(MAN WHISTLES)

Wow!

Look at that.

Oh! Careful!

Hi. I'm home!

Don't everybody answer at the same time.

Hello!

(SWITCHES ON RADIO)

(TUNING)

(INSTRUMENTAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)

Hi.

Hi.

You look beautiful.

Your hair.

Yeah, I had it done.

You look, uh, beautiful, too.

Thank you.

No.

I said I'd go to the opera with you, but that's all.

Come on, let's go in.

Good evening.

There's your stubs.

Oh, look at that.

It's something, isn't it?

Wow!

Thank you.

For what?

I don't know.

For your hair.

For your beautiful dress.

I don't know, it's been a long time since I've been to the opera.

So, where are we sitting?

Come on.

(INAUDIBLE)

(ALL APPLAUDING)

Here we go.

(ORCHESTRA PLAYING)

So, who's coming?

Just me, I want to eat.

Okay, I got a table for you right now.

This all right? Fine.

Enjoy your meal, Mrs. Castorini. Thanks.

Signora Castorini, you're dining alone tonight?

Hello, Bobo, yeah. Let me have a martini, no ice, two olives.

Ah, very good!

SHEILA: I'm trying to explain to you how I feel.

Every time I tell you how I feel, you tell me how you feel.

That doesn't seem like much of a response to me.

Well, it's the only response I've got.

BOBO: Signora, you want something to eat?

Not now, I'll wait.

Very good.

SHEILA: I really hate it when you use that tone with me,

like you're above it all and isn't it so amusing.

But it is, isn't it?

Not to me!

This is my life, no matter how comical it may seem to you.

I don't need some man standing above the struggle

while I'm rolling around in the mud.

Well, I think you like to roll around in the mud and I don't.

That's fair, isn't it? Now why...

(PEOPLE GASPING)

(PEOPLE LAUGHING)

Sorry about that, folks. She's a very pretty mental patient.

(ALL LAUGHING)

No, don't. No, no, no, no. Please, don't mind me.

Just do me a favor and clear her place.

Get rid of all evidence of her,

and bring me a big glass of vodka.

Absolutely.

I'm sorry if we disturbed you.

I'm not disturbed by you.

My lady friend has a personality disorder.

She's just too young for you.

Ah, thanks, comrade.

WAITER: It's nothing.

Too young?

I just got that. You know how to hurt a guy, don't you?

How old are you? None of your business.

I'm sorry, that was rude.

Would you like to join me for dinner?

Are you sure?

I'd be delighted.

I hate to eat alone. It's amazing how often I end up doing just that.

Signora Castorini.

Your minestrone. Oh, thanks, Bobo.

Prego.

What do you do?

I'm a professor. I teach communication, NYU.

That woman was a student of yours?

Sheila? Yeah, she was.

Is.

Was.

Old saying my mother told me, you wanna hear it?

Sure.

Don't shit where you eat.

Ha! Okay, I'll remember that.

What do you do? I'm a housewife.

How come you're eating alone?

I'm not eating alone.

May I ask you a question?

Yeah, go ahead.

Why do men chase women?

Nerves.

I think it's because they fear death.

Well, maybe.

Listen, you want to know why I chase women?

I find women charming.

I teach these classes I taught for a million years.

The spontaneity went out of it for me a long time ago.

You know, it started out I was excited about something, I wanted to share it.

Now it's rote.

Multiplication table.

Except, sometimes...

Sometimes I'll be droning along,

and I'll look up and I see a fresh,

beautiful young face,

and it's all new to her.

And I'm just this great guy who's brilliant and thinks out loud.

And when that happens, when I look out there among those chairs

and see a young woman's face,

I see me in her eyes. Me, the way I always wanted to be.

Maybe once was.

I ask her out for a date.

It doesn't last long.

A few weeks,

a couple of precious months,

then she catches on that I'm just this burned-out old gasbag,

and she's as fresh and bright

and full of promise as moonlight in a martini.

(SIGHS)

And at that moment, she stands up and throws a glass of water in my face,

or some action to that effect.

(PERRY CHUCKLES)

What you don't know about women is a lot.

Well, that's not what I hear.

(CHUCKLES)

Two white wines.

Yes, sir.

(WOMEN CHATTERING)

Yes, I'd like two glasses of champagne.

Canadian club and ginger ale, and Dubonnet on the rocks, please.

LORETTA: What's that?

RONNY: This was done by Marc Chagall.

And as you can see, he was a very great artist.

It's kind of gaudy.

Well, he was having some fun.

They get some turnout for this stuff, huh?

It's the best thing there is.

Yeah, well, you know, I like parts of it, but I just don't really get it.

You haven't once said you like my dress.

I like your dress.

It's very bright.

Uh-huh.

Will you hold this?

Thanks.

May I walk with you a ways?

Sure.

Thanks.

You live far from here? Just up there.

(OLD MAN SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(CAT MEOWS)

(DOGS BARKING)

(GASPS)

(DOGS WHIMPER)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

You knew that man?

Yes.

(CLASSICAL MUSIC PLAYING)

(SINGING IN ITALIAN)

(MAN SINGING IN ITALIAN)

LORETTA: That was so awful.

Awful?

Beautiful, sad.

She died. Yes.

I couldn't believe it. You know, I didn't think she was gonna die.

I knew she was sick, but...

She had TB.

I know. I mean, she was coughing her brains out, right?

And still she had to keep singing.

Where should we go now?

Pop?

Pop, what are you doing here?

Wait for me by the doors, Mona.

Mona?

Excuse me.

What'd you do to your hair?

I had it done.

What are you doing here?

What are you doing here?

Who's that guy? You're engaged.

And you're married.

You're my daughter. I won't have you act like a puttana.

And you're my father. All right.

I didn't see you here.

I don't know if I saw you here or what.

Let's get out of here. I'll buy you a drink.

That woman was not my mother, okay?

That's my house.

You mean the whole house?

Yes.

My God, it's a mansion!

It's a house.

I live in a one-bedroom apartment.

What exactly does your husband do?

He's a plumber.

Well, that explains it.

(SIGHS)

Temperature's dropping.

I guess you can't invite me in.

No. People home.

No, I think the house is empty.

I can't invite you in because I'm married,

because I know who I am.

You're shivering.

I'm a little cold.

You're a little boy, and you like to be bad.

(WHISPERING) We could go to my apartment.

You could see how the other half lives.

I'm too old for you.

I'm too old for me. That's my predicament.

Good night.

Good night.

Can I kiss you on the cheek, too?

Sure.

I'm freezing.

Good night.

Good night.

(JAZZ MUSIC PLAYING)

AL: Anything else, folks?

Loretta? No.

I think that's it, Al.

CARMINE: See you, Al. See you, Carmine.

What do you want to do now?

I want to go home.

Good night, Al. Take it easy, Ronny.

God, it's cold.

It smells like snow.

You know, my mother guessed that my father was seeing somebody.

That Mona, I mean, she's some piece of cheap goods.

Who am I to talk?

What's the matter?

How can you ask me that?

You're making me feel guilty again.

You are guilty, I'm guilty.

Of what?

Only God can point the finger, Loretta.

Yeah, well, I know what I know.

And what do you know?

Okay, you tell me my life, I'll tell you yours.

I'm a wolf. You run to the wolf in me. That don't make you no lamb.

You're gonna marry my brother.

(SCOFFS)

Why you want to sell your life short?

Playing it safe's just about the most dangerous thing a woman like you could do.

I mean, you waited for the right man the first time.

Why didn't you wait for the right man again?

Because he didn't come.

I'm here! You're late.

This is your place. That's right.

So this is where we were going.

Yeah.

You know, we had a deal.

You told me if I came with you to the opera, then...

Then you'd leave me alone forever.

And I came with you.

Now, I'm gonna marry your brother,

and you're gonna leave me alone forever, right?

A person can see where they've messed up in their life,

and they can change the way they do things.

And they can even change their luck.

So, maybe my nature does draw me to you,

that don't mean I have to go with it.

I can take hold of myself and I can say yes to some things

and no to other things that are gonna ruin everything. I can do that.

Otherwise, you know what?

(SIGHS)

What good is this stupid life that God gave us? I mean, for what?

Are you listening to me?

Yeah.

Everything seems like nothing to me now against that I want you in my bed.

I don't care if I burn in hell.

I don't care if you burn in hell.

The past and the future is a joke to me now.

I see that they're nothing. I see they ain't here.

The only thing that's here

is you

and me.

I want to go home. No.

I'm gonna go home. No!

I'm freezing to death.

Come upstairs. I don't care why you come.

No, that's not what I mean.

Loretta,

I love you.

Not like they told you love is.

And I didn't know this either,

but love don't make things nice.

It ruins everything.

It breaks your heart.

It makes things a mess. We aren't here to make things perfect.

The snowflakes are perfect.

(SIGHS)

The stars are perfect.

Not us, not us.

We are here to ruin ourselves, and...

And to break our hearts and love the wrong people and... And die!

I mean, the storybooks are bullshit!

Now, I want you to come upstairs with me and... And get in my bed!

Come on.

Come on.

Come on.

(AIRPLANE ENGINE ROARING)

19 Cranberry Street, Brooklyn.

Got it.

JOHNNY: Hold it!

(TIRES SCREECHING)

How much? $25.

$25?

Yeah.

Hold it.

(TIRES SCREECH)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(DOORBELL BUZZES)

(IT MUST BE HIM PLAYING ON RADIO)

(SIGHS)

Oh, hi. Hi, I'm sorry to call so late.

Moving in?

Oh, no, I came right from the airport.

Come on in.

* As I grab the phone, I pray

Look, can you wake up Loretta? I need to talk her.

She's not home yet. Take off your coat and come in the living room.

I'll make you a drink.

I want to talk to you.

* Or I shall die

* Or I shall die

Oh, thank you. Where is she?

Out. I don't know where.

(MUSIC STOPS)

So, what are you doing here?

You're supposed to be in Palermo.

That's what I came to tell Loretta.

There's been a miracle.

A miracle. Well, that's news.

My mother's recovered!

You're kidding. No, no.

The breath had almost totally left her body.

She was as white as snow.

And then, she completely pulled back from death,

and stood up

and put on her clothes

and began to cook for everyone in the house.

The mourners and me and herself.

She ate a meal that could choke a pig.

(DOOR OPENING)

That's incredible. Yes.

(DOOR CLOSES)

(DOGS BARKING)

Hi, Pop.

(EXCLAIMS IN DISGUST)

Oh, my God.

Is he all right? (SCOFFS)

My father-in-law's got this wrong idea in his head.

Oh.

Listen, Johnny,

there's a question I want to ask.

I want you to tell me the truth, if you can.

Why do men chase women?

Well, uh...

There's the Bible story.

God...

God took a rib from Adam and made Eve.

Now, maybe men chase women to get the rib back.

When God took the rib,

he left a big hole there,

a place where there used to be something, and the women have that.

Now, maybe,

just maybe, a man isn't complete as a man

without a woman.

Why would a man need more than one woman?

I don't know.

Maybe because he fears death.

That's it.

That's the reason.

I don't know!

No! That's it!

No, thank you.

Thank you for answering my question.

(DOOR CLOSES)

Hi.

Hello, Mr. Castorini.

Oh.

Hi.

Where you been?

I don't know, Rose.

I don't know where I've been, and I don't know where I'm going, all right?

You should have your eyes open here, my friend.

I have my eyes open.

Oh, yeah? Well, stick around. Don't go on any long trips.

I don't know what you mean.

I know you don't. That's the point. I'll say no more.

You haven't said anything!

And that's all I'm saying.

Cosmo. What?

I just want you to know, no matter what you do,

you're gonna die, just like everybody else.

Thank you, Rose.

You're welcome.

I'm going to bed now.

I'm going.

COSMO: Good.

He doesn't like you,

but thank you for answering my question.

You don't know where Loretta is?

No, no idea.

Mrs. Castorini, will you tell Loretta that I'll come by in the morning?

We... We need to talk.

Okay, I'll tell her.

Okay. Thank you.

(CHUCKLES)

Watch it, the house.

(LA BOHEME PLAYING)

(INCREASING VOLUME)

What the hell happened to you?

I really don't know where to start.

Your hair's different.

Ma, everything is different.

Are you drunk? No, are you drunk?

No, but I have a hangover.

Where's Pop?

Upstairs.

Johnny Cammareri showed up last night.

What?

He's in Sicily.

No more he's not.

But he's with his dying mother in Sicily.

She recovered. She was dying!

It was a miracle. A miracle?

This is modern times, there ain't supposed to be miracles no more!

Ah, I guess it ain't modern times in Sicily.

He came right from the airport. He wanted to talk to you.

You got a love bite on your neck!

He's coming back this morning! What's the matter with you?

Your life's going down the toilet!

Cover up that damn thing! Come on, put some makeup on it!

All right, all right!

Okay, fine, but you got to help me!

(DOORBELL BUZZES) Hurry up! What...

Oh, my God.

You get it.

Answer the door!

Mother! Mmm-mmm.

Hi, is Loretta home?

Come on in.

(GROANS)

It's not Johnny!

Ronny!

Is Johnny here? No, but he's coming.

Good. We can get this out on the table.

Hi. I'm Ronny, Johnny's brother.

I'm Rose Castorini.

It's nice to meet you.

It's nice to meet you.

You got a love bite on your neck.

Your mother's recovered from death.

Oh, good.

We're not close, I'm not really moved, but...

You got to get out of here.

I'm here to meet the family.

No, really, you got to get out of here.

Anyone want some oatmeal?

No, Ma. Yes, Mrs. Castorini,

I would love some oatmeal.

No, we don't want any oatmeal!

ROSE: Take your plate. Sit down.

Ma, what... That was... This is... Oh, Ma!

Thanks, Ma. You're welcome.

Hi.

LORETTA: Hi.

ROSE: Cosmo, this is Ronny, Johnny's brother.

It's very good to meet you, Mr. Castorini.

I have a feeling this is going to be just delicious.

You're Johnny's brother?

Yeah.

Don't look at me like that, okay?

(OLD MAN COUGHING) ROSE: Hi, Pop!

(GREETING IN ITALIAN)

What's the matter, Pop?

I am old.

The old are not wanted.

And if they say it, they have no weight.

But, my son, I must speak.

You must pay for the wedding of your only daughter.

You break your house through pride.

There.

I... I've said it.

Okay, Pop.

If she gets married, I'll pay for the whole thing.

OLD MAN: Bravo, bravo.

(OLD MAN SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Bravo. Now you're talking. Bravo.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Bravo!

Let's eat.

Have I been a good wife?

Yeah.

I want you to stop seeing her.

Okay.

And go to confession.

(SIGHS)

A man understands one day that his life is built on nothing.

And that's a bad, crazy day.

(CHUCKLES)

Your life is not built on nothing.

Yeah.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(DOORBELL BUZZES)

It's Johnny. I'll get it. I'll get it.

LORETTA: No, I'll get it. I think that I should tell him.

I'll tell him.

What am I gonna tell him?

Tell him the truth, Loretta.

They find out anyway.

You're right, Papa.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

Oh, Papa.

RITA: Hi, Loretta. Hi.

Hi, Loretta. Hi.

Why aren't you two at the store?

Do you have something you want to tell us, honey?

No.

We just come from the bank.

Yeah.

Oh, my God, the bank! I forgot to make the deposit!

RITA: Oh, she's got it!

Oh, my God! I knew she had it!

We didn't know what to think. You were so weird yesterday.

I know, I'm sorry. And then we went to the bank

this morning, and no bag.

We never suspected you.

ROSE: Listen, would anyone like some coffee?

Yes, coffee, coffee.

That's a good idea.

Oh, my God, I'm telling you...

What's with this... This bank?

I'll tell you later. I forgot to make their deposit.

Here, sit down. Have some coffee.

(SIGHS)

So, what are we doing?

Waiting for Johnny Cammareri.

My name's Ronny.

Johnny's brother.

Oh, nice to meet you. I'm Rita Cappomaggi.

Hi.

Raymond Cappomaggi, Rose's brother.

Hi.

Someone tell a joke.

(CHUCKLES)

(DOORBELL BUZZING)

I'll get it.

(SIGHS)

I thought Johnny was in Palermo.

(CHUCKLES)

It's Johnny Cammareri.

(INHALES DEEPLY)

Loretta?

Ronny!

Have you come to make peace with me?

Yes.

But

you may not want to.

Oh, Ronny, of course I want to.

But, Johnny, I mean, your mother was dying. How did she recover?

I told my mother we were to be married, and she got well right away.

I'm sure she did.

It was a miracle.

Oh, that's wonderful. Yeah, yeah.

Johnny, I... I have something that I have to tell you.

And I have something to tell you.

But I must talk to you alone.

No, I... I need my family around me now.

Loretta,

I can't marry you.

What?

If I marry you, my mother will die.

What the hell are you talking about? We're engaged!

Loretta, what are you talking about?

I'm talking about a promise, okay? He proposed!

Because my mother was dying and now she's not!

Oh, Johnny, you're 42 years old.

She's still running your life.

And you're a son who doesn't love his mother!

You are a big liar, okay, because I have a ring right here!

Oh, I must ask for that back.

(STAMMERING) You know, all right, the engagement is off!

In time, you will see that this is the best thing.

In time, you'll drop dead and I'll come to your funeral in a red dress!

RONNY: Loretta? What?

(SIGHS)

Will you marry me?

What?

Where's the ring?

Johnny,

can I borrow that ring?

Thanks.

Loretta Castorini,

will you marry me?

Yes, Ronny, in front of all these people, I'll marry you.

ROSE: Do you love him, Loretta?

Ma, I love him awful.

Oh, God, that's too bad.

She loves me.

What's the matter, Pop?

I'm confused.

(CHAMPAGNE CORK POPS) COSMO: Hey, nice and easy there.

That's beautiful!

ROSE: What happens is you get so much carbon

and then you don't get any bubbles.

COSMO: All right, listen up! To Loretta and Ronny!

May you be lucky...

(ALL CHATTERING) Lucky sure.

All right, Rosie. Come on. Here we are.

Thank you, thank you.

Come on. There we are.

All right, darling. Come on, Raymond!

(SPEAKING ITALIAN) Huh?

Come, come.

Your brother is here and you're...

No, no, I don't want any. I don't...

You're the part of the family. Don't you realize?

Come on, bere.

(SPEAKING ITALIAN)

(ALL CHATTERING)

No. It's the lucky one!

Plus, it's from Naples.

Everybody, come on, glass in hand.

(TOASTING IN ITALIAN)

(ALL TOASTING IN ITALIAN)

To family!

ALL: To family!

To Ronny and Loretta!

ROSE: To Ronny and Loretta!

(ALL CHATTERING)

(COSMO TOASTING IN ITALIAN)

* When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie

* That's amore

* When the world seems to shine

* Like you've had too much wine

* That's amore

* Bells will ring

* Ting-a-ling-a-ling, ting-a-ling-a-ling

* And you'll sing, "Vita bella"

* Hearts will play

* Tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay

* Like a gay tarantella

* When the stars make you drool

* Just a like pasta fazool

* That's amore

* When you dance down the street

* With a cloud at your feet

* You're in love

* When you walk in a dream

* But you know you're not dreaming, signore

* 'Scusa me, but you see, back in old Napoli

* That's amore

CHORUS: * When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie

* That's amore

* That's amore

* When the world seems to shine

* Like you've had too much wine

* That's amore

* That's amore

* Bells will ring

* Ting-a-ling-a-ling

* Ting-a-ling-a-ling

* And you'll sing, "Vita bella"

* Vita bella, Vita bella

* Hearts will play

* Tippy-tippy-tay, tippy-tippy-tay

* Like a gay tarantella

* Lucky fella

* When the stars make you drool

* Just like pasta fazool

* That's amore

* That's amore

* When you dance down the street

* With a cloud at your feet

* You're in love

* When you walk in a dream

* But you know

* You're not dreaming, signore

* 'Scusa me, but you see, back in old Napoli

* That's amore

* Amore

* That's amore