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1
00:00:05,539 --> 00:00:07,007
(whistle blows,
crowd groaning over TV)
2
00:00:07,108 --> 00:00:08,909
Oh, damn,
he went down hard!
3
00:00:09,009 --> 00:00:10,511
I mean, on his nose.
4
00:00:10,611 --> 00:00:12,880
(British accent):
It's only a flesh wound.
5
00:00:14,982 --> 00:00:15,916
What?
6
00:00:16,015 --> 00:00:17,885
'Tis but a scratch.
7
00:00:18,686 --> 00:00:20,188
What-what are you saying, Dave?
8
00:00:20,288 --> 00:00:22,656
(normal voice):
Seriously? Come on. What--
9
00:00:22,756 --> 00:00:25,559
(British accent):
What you gonna do,
bleed on me?
10
00:00:26,827 --> 00:00:29,197
Okay, is that,
is that from a song?
11
00:00:29,297 --> 00:00:32,100
Oh, I think it's a movie
from their culture.
12
00:00:32,200 --> 00:00:34,034
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
13
00:00:34,135 --> 00:00:36,470
(normal voice):
It's Monty Python
and the Holy Grail.
14
00:00:36,537 --> 00:00:37,638
Everybody's seen it.
15
00:00:37,705 --> 00:00:38,872
Who's "everybody"?
16
00:00:38,972 --> 00:00:40,040
I told you, Dave, I haven't seen
17
00:00:40,174 --> 00:00:42,243
any of those
flying magic boy movies.
18
00:00:42,376 --> 00:00:45,045
It is not Harry Potter.
It's Monty Python.
19
00:00:45,179 --> 00:00:47,181
It's one of the funniest movies
of all time.
20
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:48,549
Oh, I get it.
21
00:00:48,649 --> 00:00:50,884
It's like white people's
Coming to America.
22
00:00:51,018 --> 00:00:53,053
DAVE:
Y-Yes. Exactly.
23
00:00:53,154 --> 00:00:54,222
But, you know, better.
24
00:00:54,322 --> 00:00:55,923
Whoa.
Whoa.
You trippin'.
25
00:00:56,056 --> 00:00:58,092
What's the matter
with you?
26
00:00:58,192 --> 00:00:59,560
Oh, anybody need
another beer?
27
00:00:59,693 --> 00:01:03,497
Uh, Malcolm, you heard
what your agent said.
28
00:01:03,597 --> 00:01:06,267
She wants to see a copy
of your novel in 30 days.
29
00:01:06,400 --> 00:01:08,236
You can't be writing impaired.
30
00:01:08,369 --> 00:01:09,870
What?
31
00:01:09,937 --> 00:01:12,573
Trey, when was the last time
you did anything not impaired?
32
00:01:12,706 --> 00:01:14,708
(crowd cheering)
33
00:01:14,808 --> 00:01:16,344
Oh, he banged on him.
34
00:01:16,444 --> 00:01:18,612
Ay-yo, Austin Reaves
is a bad boy.
35
00:01:18,712 --> 00:01:20,481
I'm telling you,
he looks like Dave,
36
00:01:20,581 --> 00:01:22,450
but he'll
posterize you.
Yeah.
37
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:24,017
Okay, you know what?
38
00:01:24,118 --> 00:01:26,620
I bet you guys five dollars
that I can slam dunk.
39
00:01:26,720 --> 00:01:29,123
Dave, you couldn't dunk
a doughnut.
40
00:01:29,223 --> 00:01:30,591
(laughing)
41
00:01:30,724 --> 00:01:32,893
Driveway! Now!
42
00:01:32,993 --> 00:01:33,994
Watch me work!
43
00:01:34,094 --> 00:01:35,429
Oh, I got to see it.
44
00:01:35,529 --> 00:01:38,265
Hey, you better have
some real money.
45
00:01:40,934 --> 00:01:43,471
Dave, you've been stretching
for like 15 minutes.
46
00:01:43,571 --> 00:01:44,938
You're not getting any taller.
47
00:01:45,038 --> 00:01:47,640
All right, you know what?
Fine, here we go.
48
00:01:49,443 --> 00:01:50,777
Johnson to the hole!
49
00:01:50,911 --> 00:01:52,280
*
50
00:01:52,380 --> 00:01:56,417
* Big dawg doing big things
like a dawg do *
51
00:01:56,517 --> 00:01:59,652
* Dawg in him, I'm a handful *
52
00:01:59,787 --> 00:02:02,456
* Big fangs, claws on him *
53
00:02:02,556 --> 00:02:04,458
* Stay hungry, get it *
54
00:02:04,592 --> 00:02:06,527
* Woof-woof. *
55
00:02:07,261 --> 00:02:09,729
ALL:
Oh! Oh!
56
00:02:09,797 --> 00:02:11,832
Oh.
Oh.
57
00:02:11,932 --> 00:02:14,067
Dave, uh,
put some ice on that.
58
00:02:14,134 --> 00:02:15,503
Oh, I-I'm posting this. (laughs)
59
00:02:15,636 --> 00:02:16,904
Let me see.
(Dave groans)
60
00:02:17,004 --> 00:02:19,006
You know, I hate to
be petty, but, uh,
61
00:02:19,106 --> 00:02:20,941
I'm gonna need
that five dollars.
Yes.
62
00:02:22,109 --> 00:02:24,578
* Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood *
63
00:02:24,678 --> 00:02:26,214
* Welcome to the hood. *
64
00:02:40,160 --> 00:02:42,095
(groggily):
Game time.
65
00:02:43,997 --> 00:02:46,667
Whoa! Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
66
00:02:46,734 --> 00:02:49,703
Whoa. Sit down, LeBron.
67
00:02:50,771 --> 00:02:52,506
The doctor was
very clear.
68
00:02:52,606 --> 00:02:54,708
You have a hairline fracture
in your collarbone.
69
00:02:54,808 --> 00:02:56,277
If you don't sit
completely still,
70
00:02:56,377 --> 00:02:57,578
you could
make it worse.
71
00:02:57,711 --> 00:02:59,347
I feel fantastic.
(chuckles)
72
00:02:59,447 --> 00:03:02,450
That's because you're on very,
very powerful painkillers.
73
00:03:02,550 --> 00:03:04,084
Mm-hmm.
74
00:03:04,218 --> 00:03:06,587
Now, relax.
I'll go get you some ice.
75
00:03:07,388 --> 00:03:08,856
You sure are pretty.
76
00:03:08,956 --> 00:03:10,491
Thank you.
77
00:03:10,591 --> 00:03:12,159
Those new jeans?
78
00:03:12,226 --> 00:03:13,894
I always wear these.
79
00:03:13,994 --> 00:03:16,063
Well, they're terrible.
80
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:20,268
These are my favorite.
81
00:03:20,401 --> 00:03:21,669
Well, they're wack.
82
00:03:21,735 --> 00:03:23,771
Wiggity-wiggity-wiggity-
wiggity-wiggity-wack.
83
00:03:25,339 --> 00:03:27,875
I'm gonna go
finish my dunk.
No!
84
00:03:27,941 --> 00:03:31,245
No, no, no, no, no.
Ooh, no, no, no.
85
00:03:31,345 --> 00:03:33,914
Your dunking days
are over.
86
00:03:35,082 --> 00:03:37,651
(sniffing)
87
00:03:37,751 --> 00:03:39,119
You smell pretty.
88
00:03:39,253 --> 00:03:40,454
Aw, thank you.
89
00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:47,160
Mama's so sorry she has to
keep working on the weekends.
90
00:03:47,261 --> 00:03:49,863
Your grandpa and your daddy want
to open a second Fusebox
91
00:03:49,963 --> 00:03:51,865
in a ridiculously short
amount of time,
92
00:03:51,932 --> 00:03:55,102
and Mama is the only one
that knows how to make it work.
93
00:03:55,202 --> 00:03:56,937
Aw.
94
00:03:57,037 --> 00:03:59,139
Well, some of that
is true, honey,
95
00:03:59,239 --> 00:04:01,542
and some of that is just
Mama being mean to Dada.
96
00:04:01,609 --> 00:04:03,744
(chuckles)
97
00:04:03,811 --> 00:04:05,446
I just hate
how much I'm missing.
98
00:04:05,579 --> 00:04:07,748
I missed her first high five
the other day.
99
00:04:07,848 --> 00:04:09,783
Oh, my God.
It was so adorable.
100
00:04:09,883 --> 00:04:11,018
Mommy!
101
00:04:12,786 --> 00:04:14,522
I mean, she had
her thumb folded,
102
00:04:14,622 --> 00:04:16,724
so it was really like
a low four.
103
00:04:17,791 --> 00:04:20,260
Oh, but don't worry.
104
00:04:20,327 --> 00:04:23,063
There will be plenty
of milestones for you to see.
105
00:04:23,163 --> 00:04:24,432
Thank you, Mrs. B.
(Tina chuckles)
106
00:04:24,532 --> 00:04:25,832
Have fun with her today.
107
00:04:25,933 --> 00:04:27,635
Oh, don't you worry, we will.
108
00:04:27,735 --> 00:04:31,104
We are gonna go to the sandbox,
and we're gonna feed the ducks,
109
00:04:31,204 --> 00:04:32,973
and then we're gonna have tea
at the Langham...
110
00:04:33,106 --> 00:04:34,107
Mom, Mom.
111
00:04:34,174 --> 00:04:35,175
Mom.
112
00:04:35,308 --> 00:04:36,944
Remember what
we said about
113
00:04:37,044 --> 00:04:38,446
not torturing Courtney?
114
00:04:38,546 --> 00:04:40,648
Well, that's why I didn't
mention the trolley ride.
115
00:04:40,781 --> 00:04:42,316
You're gonna go
on the trolley, too?
116
00:04:42,416 --> 00:04:43,984
All right.
Let's go to work. Okay.
117
00:04:44,084 --> 00:04:45,786
We're going to work.
I know.
I wanted to take her on...
118
00:04:45,886 --> 00:04:47,020
Say bye-bye.
119
00:04:47,154 --> 00:04:49,457
Oh, bye.
Oh, yeah,
she's gonna miss you.
120
00:04:49,557 --> 00:04:51,692
Oh, look,
she misses you already!
121
00:04:51,825 --> 00:04:54,061
Aw!
122
00:04:55,863 --> 00:04:58,599
It was so nice of you
to make Dave a cake.
123
00:04:58,666 --> 00:05:00,501
Ah, it's the least we can do,
124
00:05:00,601 --> 00:05:04,505
considering Calvin goaded Dave
into trying to dunk.
125
00:05:05,439 --> 00:05:06,974
And by accepting this cake,
126
00:05:07,074 --> 00:05:09,843
you forfeit the right to take
any legal action against us.
127
00:05:09,977 --> 00:05:11,211
Enjoy.
128
00:05:12,513 --> 00:05:14,314
Cream cheese frosting.
129
00:05:14,382 --> 00:05:16,149
White chocolate chips.
130
00:05:16,216 --> 00:05:17,451
Oh.
131
00:05:17,518 --> 00:05:19,252
Mmm. Mmm.
132
00:05:20,020 --> 00:05:23,323
Tina... this is not your best.
133
00:05:27,227 --> 00:05:28,195
What did he say?
134
00:05:28,295 --> 00:05:30,063
Don't pay him any attention.
135
00:05:30,163 --> 00:05:31,832
He's on serious pain medication.
136
00:05:31,899 --> 00:05:33,601
Yeah, well,
he's gonna need some more.
137
00:05:34,735 --> 00:05:35,936
Now, what is the deal
138
00:05:36,036 --> 00:05:38,238
with Black people
and red velvet cake?
139
00:05:39,540 --> 00:05:40,841
Now, they always
are just going on...
140
00:05:40,941 --> 00:05:42,342
Dave, Dave,
don't finish that thought.
141
00:05:42,409 --> 00:05:45,045
No, you know what?
I-I want to hear this.
142
00:05:45,145 --> 00:05:47,948
I'm just--
Come on, I-I'm--
143
00:05:48,048 --> 00:05:49,783
I'm tired...
144
00:05:50,584 --> 00:05:52,620
...of pretending
that it's awesome.
145
00:05:53,721 --> 00:05:55,856
You know what's awesome?
Cookies cakes.
146
00:05:55,956 --> 00:05:57,024
I love cookies cakes.
147
00:05:57,124 --> 00:05:59,159
Tina, go make me
a cookies cake.
148
00:06:01,328 --> 00:06:02,796
Calvin, hold the baby.
149
00:06:02,896 --> 00:06:04,264
No, he doesn't know
what he's saying.
150
00:06:04,364 --> 00:06:06,500
Come on, babe.
How about we just go, all right?
151
00:06:06,567 --> 00:06:08,502
All right. Come on, Daphne.
152
00:06:08,569 --> 00:06:10,904
Let's go feed the ducks, yeah.
153
00:06:11,004 --> 00:06:12,272
DAPHNE:
Mama.
154
00:06:12,406 --> 00:06:13,841
Oh, my God.
Did you hear that?
155
00:06:13,941 --> 00:06:15,275
She just said
her first word.
156
00:06:15,375 --> 00:06:16,410
She just said "Mama"!
157
00:06:16,510 --> 00:06:18,746
Oh, good for you,
Daphne.
Oh.
158
00:06:18,846 --> 00:06:21,048
Uh, Tina?
159
00:06:21,148 --> 00:06:22,983
I'm excited
for her first word and all,
160
00:06:23,082 --> 00:06:26,286
but you do realize
she just called you "Mama"?
161
00:06:27,187 --> 00:06:29,256
Instead of
her actual mama.
162
00:06:29,356 --> 00:06:31,358
Oh, damn.
163
00:06:32,526 --> 00:06:34,094
Oh, this isn't good.
164
00:06:34,194 --> 00:06:35,429
Courtney already
feels bad
165
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:37,330
about not spending
enough time with her.
166
00:06:37,431 --> 00:06:39,199
Well, you've been spending
so much time with her,
167
00:06:39,266 --> 00:06:40,933
she's really getting
attached to you.
168
00:06:41,068 --> 00:06:44,037
Well, I can't help it if they
leave her with me all the time.
169
00:06:44,104 --> 00:06:45,739
I'd love
to take her for you,
170
00:06:45,806 --> 00:06:47,675
but I have
to babysit Dave.
171
00:06:48,709 --> 00:06:50,277
Well, Calvin can watch him.
172
00:06:50,377 --> 00:06:52,613
What? No, I-I'm busy.
173
00:06:52,713 --> 00:06:55,048
Oh. What were you gonna do?
174
00:06:55,148 --> 00:06:57,050
Chill.
175
00:06:58,786 --> 00:07:00,554
Like I said,
Calvin's got him.
176
00:07:00,654 --> 00:07:01,822
Come on, Gemma.
177
00:07:02,556 --> 00:07:04,057
Courtney would be
devastated to know
178
00:07:04,124 --> 00:07:07,060
that her baby called
somebody else "Mama."
Oh.
179
00:07:07,160 --> 00:07:08,662
Especially an old person.
180
00:07:11,331 --> 00:07:12,900
Okay, he got one more time.
Okay. Okay.
181
00:07:12,966 --> 00:07:14,702
Okay. Okay.
One more time.
182
00:07:15,636 --> 00:07:17,638
Oh, my baby, I know.
183
00:07:17,738 --> 00:07:20,741
Your mama's gonna
whup his ass.
184
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:24,211
Bet you five dollars
I could slam dunk a basketball.
185
00:07:24,311 --> 00:07:27,147
Dave, sit
your ass down.
(groans)
186
00:07:30,484 --> 00:07:34,021
Ooh, Daphne.
Look at these cool L.A. moms,
187
00:07:34,154 --> 00:07:35,489
with their fresh blowouts
188
00:07:35,589 --> 00:07:39,693
and designer baby bags
and thousand-dollar strollers.
189
00:07:39,827 --> 00:07:42,996
No, don't stare at them.
Don't be thirsty.
190
00:07:43,096 --> 00:07:44,197
(Daphne fussing)
191
00:07:44,331 --> 00:07:46,066
GEMMA:
Oh. Oh.
192
00:07:46,166 --> 00:07:48,268
Hey, can I help you?
193
00:07:48,335 --> 00:07:50,137
I'm sorry, she's not
usually like this.
194
00:07:50,203 --> 00:07:51,839
Don't be silly.
195
00:07:51,939 --> 00:07:53,674
I'm Michelle. Who's this?
196
00:07:53,774 --> 00:07:54,808
Gemma.
197
00:07:54,875 --> 00:07:57,845
Oh, uh, this is Daphne.
198
00:07:58,979 --> 00:08:00,948
She's adorable.
199
00:08:01,048 --> 00:08:02,616
Aw. Thank you.
200
00:08:02,716 --> 00:08:03,917
How old are you?
201
00:08:04,017 --> 00:08:05,553
Thirty-nine.
202
00:08:05,686 --> 00:08:07,788
(laughing)
203
00:08:07,855 --> 00:08:09,189
Okay, you're funny.
204
00:08:09,322 --> 00:08:11,892
Ah.
Oh. Come hang with us.
205
00:08:12,025 --> 00:08:13,226
We've got morning buns.
206
00:08:13,326 --> 00:08:15,629
I love morning buns.
207
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:18,265
I don't even know
what those are.
208
00:08:22,369 --> 00:08:24,271
Yep, come on, Dave.
209
00:08:24,371 --> 00:08:26,373
Let's make
the best of it.
210
00:08:26,473 --> 00:08:28,475
I know being injured
can be tough.
211
00:08:28,576 --> 00:08:30,477
You know, one time,
I hurt my knee
212
00:08:30,544 --> 00:08:31,712
sacking the quarterback and...
213
00:08:31,812 --> 00:08:34,047
Oh, here we go.
214
00:08:35,182 --> 00:08:37,017
The glory days.
215
00:08:37,084 --> 00:08:40,520
Oof. Go ahead, Calvin,
trot out the greatest hits.
216
00:08:41,488 --> 00:08:43,890
I thought you liked
my football stories.
Oh, yeah, I do.
217
00:08:43,991 --> 00:08:46,459
Every time you tell them,
your stats get better.
218
00:08:48,896 --> 00:08:50,898
Eat your damn sandwich.
219
00:08:52,833 --> 00:08:55,068
How'd you manage
to burn the outside
220
00:08:55,168 --> 00:08:57,070
without melting
the cheese inside?
221
00:08:57,170 --> 00:08:58,739
Calvin...
222
00:08:58,839 --> 00:09:00,307
you better stick to cars.
223
00:09:01,508 --> 00:09:02,743
Dave, listen.
224
00:09:02,843 --> 00:09:04,511
For your information,
this is how you...
225
00:09:04,612 --> 00:09:08,716
You know, I-I'm gonna make this
very simple for you, Calvin.
226
00:09:08,782 --> 00:09:10,383
How about a granola bar?
227
00:09:11,518 --> 00:09:12,686
Sure.
228
00:09:12,786 --> 00:09:14,354
Go on, now.
229
00:09:15,689 --> 00:09:17,124
(knock on door)
230
00:09:19,226 --> 00:09:21,695
Hey, Pop. Mama said
you might need a break.
231
00:09:21,762 --> 00:09:23,230
I'm taking a breather
from my writing, so...
232
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:24,832
Bye.
233
00:09:31,238 --> 00:09:32,305
A breather?
234
00:09:32,405 --> 00:09:34,141
Is that what we're calling it?
235
00:09:35,408 --> 00:09:36,877
What are you saying, Dave?
236
00:09:36,944 --> 00:09:40,047
Let me spell it out
for you, Mr. Writer.
237
00:09:40,147 --> 00:09:42,549
You are
procrastinating.
238
00:09:43,116 --> 00:09:44,618
Have you even started?
239
00:09:44,718 --> 00:09:48,588
Yes. A Word document has been
opened, titled and saved.
240
00:09:48,656 --> 00:09:49,556
What's the title?
241
00:09:49,657 --> 00:09:51,692
"Malcolm's big book."
242
00:09:55,095 --> 00:09:56,396
Look, Malcolm, I get it.
243
00:09:56,463 --> 00:09:58,398
It's hard to start writing.
244
00:09:58,498 --> 00:10:00,267
You know, you worry
you don't have what it takes,
245
00:10:00,333 --> 00:10:02,936
that you haven't lived enough,
you haven't traveled enough.
246
00:10:03,036 --> 00:10:05,639
You don't have
anything interesting to say.
247
00:10:05,739 --> 00:10:10,010
And even if you did,
who would want to read it?
248
00:10:10,878 --> 00:10:13,280
Man, I've lived!
I've had adventures!
249
00:10:13,346 --> 00:10:15,448
Well, yeah, sure,
I mean, you could write
250
00:10:15,548 --> 00:10:17,117
Journey to the Center
of the House
251
00:10:17,184 --> 00:10:19,887
30 Feet Away from My Parents.
252
00:10:22,622 --> 00:10:24,357
That's a stupid-ass title.
253
00:10:26,326 --> 00:10:27,828
Hey, Pop!
254
00:10:27,928 --> 00:10:29,730
Pop, come get your friend!
255
00:10:32,365 --> 00:10:33,901
Man.
256
00:10:34,001 --> 00:10:35,769
(sighs)
257
00:10:35,836 --> 00:10:37,337
(groans)
258
00:10:39,740 --> 00:10:41,540
Oh. You finished
writing already?
259
00:10:41,675 --> 00:10:44,177
No. I mean, what would I
even write about, Trey?
260
00:10:44,311 --> 00:10:45,846
The Journey to the Center
of the House
261
00:10:45,979 --> 00:10:47,647
of the Boy Who's Never
Been Nowhere?
262
00:10:47,715 --> 00:10:49,182
What?
263
00:10:50,117 --> 00:10:51,819
Man, it's just
something Dave said.
264
00:10:51,919 --> 00:10:53,486
I don't know.
Man, forget Dave.
265
00:10:53,553 --> 00:10:55,522
When you played ball,
you went everywhere.
266
00:10:55,622 --> 00:10:56,824
You went to Albuquerque.
267
00:10:56,924 --> 00:10:58,125
You went to Little Rock.
268
00:10:58,225 --> 00:11:00,728
You even had a
layover in New York.
269
00:11:01,528 --> 00:11:03,764
Yeah, man, but I blew
that all up for this.
270
00:11:03,864 --> 00:11:07,300
Exactly. So this
has to work for us.
271
00:11:07,367 --> 00:11:09,636
What you mean "us"?
272
00:11:09,737 --> 00:11:11,504
I'm part of your
literary crew.
273
00:11:11,604 --> 00:11:14,742
Like that show Entourage.
I'm your Turtle.
274
00:11:16,043 --> 00:11:17,677
Well, I don't know
what to tell you, Trey.
275
00:11:17,778 --> 00:11:20,213
I guess this is
what writer's block is.
276
00:11:20,313 --> 00:11:22,382
You know what?
277
00:11:22,482 --> 00:11:26,153
Good thing for you,
I have writer's unblock.
278
00:11:27,888 --> 00:11:30,758
I am not eating
your weed gummies, Trey.
279
00:11:31,591 --> 00:11:34,094
What page you on?
One.
280
00:11:39,432 --> 00:11:41,434
Oh, what the hell?
281
00:11:43,871 --> 00:11:45,705
It's like strawberry.
Yeah.
282
00:11:45,773 --> 00:11:47,875
You know what? I'm-a go
get you something to eat.
283
00:11:47,975 --> 00:11:50,911
I'm not even hungry.
You will be.
284
00:11:53,246 --> 00:11:55,548
Was I just supposed to eat one?
(door closes)
285
00:11:57,350 --> 00:11:59,086
Tina, Tina, Tina, Tina.
286
00:11:59,186 --> 00:12:00,453
Come here.
287
00:12:00,553 --> 00:12:02,422
One of the moms was
wearing these sunglasses.
288
00:12:02,522 --> 00:12:04,958
I swear I saw J.Lo wearing them.
289
00:12:06,293 --> 00:12:08,161
These women are so cool.
290
00:12:08,261 --> 00:12:09,629
And they were talking about
291
00:12:09,729 --> 00:12:11,799
going on a wine train
to Temecula next weekend,
292
00:12:11,932 --> 00:12:13,566
and they invited me.
293
00:12:15,468 --> 00:12:17,037
So, this is a moms' group?
294
00:12:17,104 --> 00:12:19,406
A cool moms' group.
295
00:12:19,973 --> 00:12:21,308
(phone chimes)
296
00:12:21,408 --> 00:12:22,810
(gasps)
297
00:12:22,943 --> 00:12:24,912
They just added me
to the group chat.
298
00:12:24,978 --> 00:12:26,379
I'm gonna put in a heart emoji.
299
00:12:26,479 --> 00:12:29,950
Okay, Gemma, so you were
in the park with the baby,
300
00:12:30,050 --> 00:12:33,386
a group of moms with babies
invited you to join them.
301
00:12:33,486 --> 00:12:35,522
They think you're Daphne's mom.
302
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,459
Oh, God.
303
00:12:39,592 --> 00:12:43,530
Oh, but I've always wanted
to be in a group like this.
304
00:12:43,630 --> 00:12:46,233
Back when Grover was a baby
in Kalamazoo,
305
00:12:46,299 --> 00:12:50,503
all the other moms were,
you know... regular.
306
00:12:52,639 --> 00:12:55,775
Earthy. Lot of Crocs.
307
00:12:57,410 --> 00:12:59,712
Says the woman
wearing hobo jeans.
308
00:12:59,813 --> 00:13:01,414
(laughs)
309
00:13:02,182 --> 00:13:03,750
Okay, Gemma, I'm sorry,
310
00:13:03,851 --> 00:13:06,619
but it seems to me they only
want you in their little clique
311
00:13:06,686 --> 00:13:08,655
because you either adopted
a Black baby
312
00:13:08,788 --> 00:13:10,590
or you're in
an interracial marriage.
313
00:13:10,657 --> 00:13:13,493
(scoffs) With me,
the whitest man in America.
314
00:13:15,829 --> 00:13:16,997
(knock on door)
315
00:13:17,130 --> 00:13:18,832
Oh, hey, guys.
Hey, baby.
316
00:13:18,932 --> 00:13:21,668
Hey, Daphne.
Oh, I put her to sleep.
She's sleeping.
317
00:13:21,768 --> 00:13:23,103
Okay. How'd it go today, Mom?
318
00:13:23,203 --> 00:13:25,505
Oh, fine.
You know, no big news.
319
00:13:25,605 --> 00:13:27,574
Except Daphne said
her first word.
320
00:13:27,674 --> 00:13:28,842
(gasps)
321
00:13:28,942 --> 00:13:31,311
Oh, my God!
That is fantastic.
322
00:13:31,378 --> 00:13:33,180
What did she say?
323
00:13:33,280 --> 00:13:34,915
"Apple."
"Canoe."
324
00:13:36,549 --> 00:13:38,251
"Canoe"? Really, Gemma?
325
00:13:39,186 --> 00:13:41,288
She said "Mama."
Oh.
326
00:13:41,354 --> 00:13:42,722
But to your mama,
327
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:44,224
not your baby mama.
328
00:13:44,357 --> 00:13:45,592
Oh.
329
00:13:46,659 --> 00:13:49,296
Oh. Oh, boy. Uh, okay.
330
00:13:49,362 --> 00:13:51,231
Courtney cannot find out
about this.
331
00:13:51,364 --> 00:13:52,532
No.
332
00:13:52,665 --> 00:13:54,767
Marty, you wear
a lot of ugly sweaters.
333
00:13:56,736 --> 00:13:59,907
But this one has gots to be
the ugliest.
334
00:14:02,709 --> 00:14:04,211
Who is this person?!
335
00:14:11,985 --> 00:14:14,021
"...as the streetlights
336
00:14:14,121 --> 00:14:17,324
flickered to life
on Palmer Avenue."
337
00:14:17,390 --> 00:14:19,559
Boom! Chapter one is done.
338
00:14:19,659 --> 00:14:21,394
(whoops) Chapter two,
339
00:14:21,494 --> 00:14:23,063
already in my head.
340
00:14:23,163 --> 00:14:24,731
Hey, we be writing, boy.
341
00:14:24,864 --> 00:14:26,599
Yeah.
(laughs)
342
00:14:26,699 --> 00:14:28,902
Hey, man, th-that
weed gummy of yours,
343
00:14:29,002 --> 00:14:30,870
it really helped me
to stop overthinking.
344
00:14:30,971 --> 00:14:32,672
You know, the story
just flowed out of me.
345
00:14:32,739 --> 00:14:34,574
What'd I tell you?
Yeah.
346
00:14:34,707 --> 00:14:36,076
But... but...
347
00:14:36,176 --> 00:14:37,377
Trey, is this a problem?
348
00:14:37,510 --> 00:14:39,746
Like, do I need
to be high to write?
349
00:14:39,846 --> 00:14:43,083
Is this story all mine,
or is it the weed?
350
00:14:43,183 --> 00:14:45,618
(laughing)
351
00:14:45,718 --> 00:14:48,088
What?
Man, if it
was the weed,
352
00:14:48,221 --> 00:14:49,456
I'd be Shakespeare.
353
00:14:49,556 --> 00:14:51,591
(laughing)
354
00:14:51,691 --> 00:14:53,626
Man, it wasn't
nothing in that gummy
355
00:14:53,726 --> 00:14:56,997
but sugar and one percent
real fruit juice.
356
00:14:57,097 --> 00:14:58,565
What?
357
00:14:58,698 --> 00:15:01,468
Yeah, I just said it was weed
to get you out of your own way.
358
00:15:01,568 --> 00:15:04,871
If I'd given you one of my
real weed gummies... (scoffs)
359
00:15:04,972 --> 00:15:07,107
boy, you'd be walking down
the street butt-naked,
360
00:15:07,240 --> 00:15:10,243
trying to type on
an open pizza box.
361
00:15:11,945 --> 00:15:14,414
Why would I do that?
Why did I do that?
362
00:15:16,783 --> 00:15:18,351
So this story
is all mine?
363
00:15:18,451 --> 00:15:19,719
All you.
364
00:15:19,786 --> 00:15:22,055
You're damn right it's all mine,
because I'm a writer.
365
00:15:22,155 --> 00:15:25,392
What are you?
What are you?
I'm a writer. I'm a writer!
366
00:15:27,227 --> 00:15:28,561
Dakota?
Mm-hmm?
367
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:32,132
These deviled eggs
are the best I have ever had.
368
00:15:32,265 --> 00:15:34,634
Once you eat eggs
from your own chicken,
369
00:15:34,767 --> 00:15:36,703
you just can't go back
to store-bought.
370
00:15:36,803 --> 00:15:38,105
Ah.
371
00:15:38,938 --> 00:15:40,573
I have got to get a coop.
372
00:15:40,673 --> 00:15:42,209
Yes.
373
00:15:42,309 --> 00:15:43,276
Gemma.
374
00:15:43,376 --> 00:15:44,777
And just go outside,
get the eggs...
375
00:15:44,877 --> 00:15:45,712
Gemma?
...from my chickens
in the morning...
376
00:15:45,812 --> 00:15:46,980
Gemma!
377
00:15:48,181 --> 00:15:49,649
How y'all doing?
378
00:15:49,749 --> 00:15:52,085
How you--
How you doing?
379
00:15:52,185 --> 00:15:53,720
GEMMA:
Hi.
380
00:15:53,786 --> 00:15:55,522
You said you were taking
Daphne around the block.
381
00:15:55,622 --> 00:15:56,889
What are you doing?
382
00:15:56,990 --> 00:15:59,392
I know, I know.
I'm going to tell them.
383
00:15:59,492 --> 00:16:00,927
Right after
the wine train.
384
00:16:00,994 --> 00:16:04,431
Gemma, you have got to stop
this weird charade.
385
00:16:04,497 --> 00:16:06,266
Now, give me my grandbaby!
386
00:16:07,500 --> 00:16:11,238
Aw. Hey, Gemma.
Who's this?
387
00:16:11,338 --> 00:16:13,906
Okay, see, I...
Oh!
388
00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:15,608
Is this your wife?
389
00:16:20,647 --> 00:16:22,515
Yes.
390
00:16:22,649 --> 00:16:25,618
This is my wife, Tina.
391
00:16:30,623 --> 00:16:32,925
Tina. (chuckles)
392
00:16:32,992 --> 00:16:35,862
You must come on the
wine train next weekend.
Oh.
393
00:16:37,330 --> 00:16:40,500
Well, see, the thing is,
I, uh...
394
00:16:40,600 --> 00:16:42,869
I, uh...
It's eight courses
of amazing food,
395
00:16:43,002 --> 00:16:46,073
beautiful scenery,
heavy pours.
396
00:16:47,374 --> 00:16:48,841
We're visiting
five vineyards,
397
00:16:48,941 --> 00:16:52,345
and at the last one,
Alicia Keys is performing.
398
00:16:54,013 --> 00:16:56,049
Alicia Keys?
399
00:16:58,118 --> 00:17:03,056
Oh, baby, why didn't you
tell me that? (chuckles)
400
00:17:05,358 --> 00:17:07,294
(chuckles)
401
00:17:09,162 --> 00:17:11,330
Admit it,
those moms are cool.
402
00:17:11,431 --> 00:17:12,865
(sighs):
Yeah, they're cool.
403
00:17:12,964 --> 00:17:14,501
And I guess
it's good that Daphne
404
00:17:14,601 --> 00:17:16,203
has a playgroup on the weekends.
405
00:17:16,336 --> 00:17:18,204
Right? Come on.
406
00:17:18,305 --> 00:17:20,873
Okay, we can do the wine train.
407
00:17:20,973 --> 00:17:24,810
And we can hang with them
in the park, occasionally.
408
00:17:24,877 --> 00:17:26,713
But no kissing on the mouth!
409
00:17:27,714 --> 00:17:29,482
Okay, but I'm just saying,
it sells it if we...
410
00:17:29,582 --> 00:17:32,652
Gemma,
don't play with me.
Okay, fine.
411
00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:34,421
Hey, hey.
412
00:17:34,521 --> 00:17:36,389
Hey.
Hey.
413
00:17:36,489 --> 00:17:38,091
Well, we did it.
414
00:17:38,191 --> 00:17:39,559
We finished
the whole expansion plan
415
00:17:39,659 --> 00:17:41,428
for the charging nodes
at the new Fusebox.
416
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,062
Congratulations!
417
00:17:43,163 --> 00:17:44,997
On whatever the hell
you just said.
418
00:17:45,865 --> 00:17:47,234
Thank you, Mrs. B.
419
00:17:47,334 --> 00:17:49,068
You have been babysitting
so much,
420
00:17:49,169 --> 00:17:51,971
every weekend,
and I know it's been a lot.
421
00:17:52,071 --> 00:17:54,107
Hey, happy to help.
422
00:17:54,241 --> 00:17:57,110
Hey! Where's my baby?
423
00:17:58,077 --> 00:18:00,513
Oh, come here.
TINA:
Oh. There she is.
424
00:18:00,613 --> 00:18:02,349
DAPHNE: Mama.
(gasps)
425
00:18:02,449 --> 00:18:03,883
MARTY:
Oh, my God!
426
00:18:03,950 --> 00:18:05,685
She said her first word!
427
00:18:05,752 --> 00:18:07,620
(laughs)
TINA:
Oh, my God!
428
00:18:07,754 --> 00:18:08,921
Did she just
call me "Mama"?
429
00:18:09,021 --> 00:18:10,523
Who else would
she be talking to?
430
00:18:10,590 --> 00:18:12,825
(laughing)
431
00:18:12,925 --> 00:18:16,329
Yes, I am your
mama. Yes.
432
00:18:22,402 --> 00:18:23,370
(groans)
433
00:18:23,436 --> 00:18:26,439
Oh, my gosh,
this hurts.
434
00:18:26,573 --> 00:18:30,410
Well, I gave you the last
of your pain pills at noon.
435
00:18:30,510 --> 00:18:31,778
They must've worn off.
436
00:18:31,878 --> 00:18:33,546
Oh. (chuckles)
437
00:18:33,613 --> 00:18:34,847
Is this for me?
438
00:18:34,947 --> 00:18:36,849
I thought you didn't like
red velvet.
439
00:18:36,949 --> 00:18:40,253
Not like red velvet?
I love red velvet.
440
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:42,722
Mmm.
441
00:18:42,822 --> 00:18:44,991
Tina, my compliments
to the chef.
442
00:18:45,091 --> 00:18:48,861
Knocked it out of the park.
This is so moist.
443
00:18:50,463 --> 00:18:52,131
Dave's back.
444
00:18:52,899 --> 00:18:55,435
If you think I'm gonna forgive
you about what you said yest--
445
00:18:55,535 --> 00:18:57,237
Tina, forget about Dave.
446
00:18:57,304 --> 00:18:59,539
Let's go drink wine
and talk about Alicia Keys.
447
00:19:04,577 --> 00:19:07,280
Calvin, did I say something bad?
I-I can't remember a thing.
448
00:19:07,347 --> 00:19:11,818
Well, honestly, Dave,
you were a straight jackass.
449
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:16,856
You know, some of the things
you said sounded like me.
450
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,358
And honesty is good,
451
00:19:18,491 --> 00:19:20,660
but I don't think
we can have two mes.
452
00:19:20,793 --> 00:19:22,595
I don't know.
453
00:19:22,695 --> 00:19:24,631
Two Calvins sounds
pretty awesome to me.
454
00:19:24,731 --> 00:19:25,932
(chuckles)
455
00:19:26,032 --> 00:19:28,000
Well, it's good
to have you back, buddy.
456
00:19:28,768 --> 00:19:31,604
Since I'm the one that got you
into this, I guess I owe you.
457
00:19:31,704 --> 00:19:33,206
So...
458
00:19:33,340 --> 00:19:35,908
what do you say we watch
your British snake movie?
459
00:19:36,008 --> 00:19:38,345
Monty Python and
the Holy Grail?
460
00:19:38,445 --> 00:19:40,146
Sure.
461
00:19:41,848 --> 00:19:44,984
(British accent):
She turned me into a newt.
462
00:19:45,084 --> 00:19:48,721
(Cockney accent):
Lose the bloody accent, Dave,
or I'm leavin'.
463
00:19:48,821 --> 00:19:51,624
Okay, fine. Blimey.
464
00:19:51,691 --> 00:19:53,393
(normal voice):
All right.
(normal voice):
Oh, hey, no, no, no.
465
00:19:53,493 --> 00:19:54,527
Okay, okay, fine.
466
00:19:54,661 --> 00:19:56,162
Fine. Blimey.
467
00:19:57,597 --> 00:19:58,931
All right.
468
00:19:59,031 --> 00:20:00,267
David...
469
00:20:07,274 --> 00:20:09,476
Oh, come on, Daph,
you can say it.
470
00:20:09,576 --> 00:20:12,144
Who am I? I'm your mama.
471
00:20:12,245 --> 00:20:13,713
"Mama."
Okay, okay.
472
00:20:13,813 --> 00:20:15,315
She's got "Mama."
All right.
473
00:20:15,415 --> 00:20:17,149
Daph, try "Dada."
474
00:20:17,250 --> 00:20:18,885
"Dada." (stammers) "Dada."
(fussing)
475
00:20:18,951 --> 00:20:20,287
"Dada." Say "Dada."
476
00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,621
(crying)
477
00:20:21,754 --> 00:20:22,689
We're getting there.
478
00:20:22,789 --> 00:20:24,424
It's close.
Oh!
479
00:20:24,491 --> 00:20:25,958
Look, Bronwyn.
480
00:20:26,058 --> 00:20:28,461
It's your friend Daphne.
481
00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:29,962
Daphne, hello.
482
00:20:30,096 --> 00:20:31,564
Uh, hi.
483
00:20:31,631 --> 00:20:33,933
Hi. (chuckles) Hi.
484
00:20:34,033 --> 00:20:36,469
Uh, I-I'm Marty,
and this is Courtney.
485
00:20:36,569 --> 00:20:37,970
How great!
486
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:41,107
You must be babysitting
for Gemma and her wife Tina.
487
00:20:41,173 --> 00:20:42,509
Oh.
488
00:20:42,642 --> 00:20:43,910
Excuse me?
489
00:20:43,976 --> 00:20:45,478
Tell them I said hi.
490
00:20:49,282 --> 00:20:52,084
Marty...
No, it's already ringing.
491
00:20:57,924 --> 00:21:01,961
Captioning sponsored by
CBS
492
00:21:02,028 --> 00:21:05,698
and TOYOTA.
493
00:21:05,832 --> 00:21:10,236
Captioned by
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