Original subtitles

- [? theme music playing] - ? Kiff! ?

? Kiff! Kiff! ?

? Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ?

? Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ?

? Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! Kiff! ?

? Yeah! ?

- ? Kiff! ? - [? theme music concludes]

[both chuckle]

[narrator] Brought to you by Handsome Man sponges for men.

You do it.

- When is the tram getting here? - Eh, don't worry.

Worst case, we're late for Helen's drama class.

So... [laughs]

[grunts] Ooh...

I may be able to lend a hand.

[magical zap]

- You're a wizard! - Please, call me Ed.

[magical zap]

I wish we knew how to do magic.

Surely you learn magic at school?

Don't you have a magical teacher?

Uh, Helen? Oh, no, she's magical but teaches drama.

I am outraged! Without Wiz-Ed,

children could learn magic online, then mishandle it.

Who would want such a thing?

You should come teach magic at our school.

Oh, I don't know. I'm an old wizard.

Do children even think magic is cool anymore? I mean,

is this cool?

- You're hired. - Splendid!

Let us take the scenic route.

[whooshing]

- [glass shatters] - [gasps]

PS, meet Table Town's newest teacher.

I am a wizard named Ed.

- Hello, Ed. - And I'm here to teach Wiz-Ed.

Wiz-Ed?

Yes. It's all about the wonderful world of wizardry.

Oh, like that movie Schoolboy Wizard?

- [magical poof] - Exactly like Schoolboy Wizard.

- Hired! - I'm gonna grow a wizard's beard!

[groans]

Remember, children, magic isn't just fun and games.

But if you use it responsibly, you can achieve...

anything.

[kid] Boo! You stink!

It's me! Oh, what's my name?

The Little Hedgehog Kid,

and I think this guy's magic is weak!

[fingers snap]

Uh, listen, bud.

The school's not big enough for two magical teachers.

Right, kids?

Ed, let me take this one. Helen, a word.

I get it. You're jealous. Don't be. We still love you.

[door shuts, chains clanging]

Now, where were we?

[? upbeat music playing]

? With a flick and a twist And a twirl of the wrist ?

? You can do magic Just like this ?

? And listen up children Listen up good ?

? Welcome to Wiz-Ed ?

? Magic is easy, magic is fun ?

? Your magical journey has just begun ?

? I'm going to teach you magic One-oh-one ?

? Welcome to Wiz-Ed ?

? I'm a jolly little fellow and my name is Ed ?

? I have bare feet and a hat on my head ?

? I've placed a wand upon your desk ?

? Pick it up gently ?

? And repeat after me ?

? A flick, twist, twirl, swoop, up, down, tap ?

? And double loop, figure eight, point and zap! ?

? Tippy toes, eyes closed, clap, clap, clap ?

? Wiggle nose, swan pose, just like that! ?

? Flick, twist, twirl, swoop, up, down, tap ?

- Yes. - ? Double loop, figure eight, ?

- ? point and zap! ? - Ho, ho, yes!

? Tippy toes, eyes closed, clap, clap... ?

That's it! Now you've got it!

Flick, twist, twirl, swoop, up, down, tap!

? You can do magic just like this ?

? Magic is easy ?

? Magic is fun ?

? Your magical journey has just begun ?

? I'm a jolly little fellow And my name is Ed ?

? Double loop, figure eight, point and zap! ?

? Flick, twist, twirl, swoop, up, down, tap ?

? Wiggle nose, swan pose, just like that! ?

[sponges flop]

Nice form, Reggie.

Great twig work, Candle.

Uh, Ed, can you teach us

how to move the sponge around in a circle

instead of just up and down?

I don't know. That's... That's pretty advanced.

Come on. We're ready for the next step.

Hmm. I must away to my study to think.

[? mystical flute music playing]

[silence]

Trev, uh, why do you want to make a sponge

move around in circles?

Yeah, that's so weirdly specific.

Let Trevor work his own magic, kids.

I suppose I could teach you all a beginner's circle spell.

But remember, wizardlings,

- some spells come at a great cost. - [? menacing music playing]

[squeaking]

[plops]

Good job, sweetheart. Here's your allowance

and a little extra.

[cool guitar riff]

[gasps] Trevor, you're a genius!

We can use this magic for chores!

- Magic twigs in. - [twigs clatter]

On the count of three. One, two...

[in unison] Using magic for personal gain!

Ed, can we learn more spells?

Yeah, like the circle one you taught us.

I'd love to know how to make something the size of,

let's say, a vacuum cleaner move around, let's say, the entire house.

I can tell by your winks that you are ready.

[? whimsical music playing]

[water gurgling]

[laughing]

[chewing loudly]

[poof] You've all gotten so good at magic!

What would you like to learn next?

Yeah, I think we're good, brah.

Well, then I think this is an opportune time

to collect my fee.

Whaa...

You used my magic to do your chores.

That magic is proprietary,

and now by the laws of magic,

[monstrous tenor] you legally owe me your allowances!

- [exclaims] - Hey, give it back!

- [speaks indistinctly] No! - Hey, Ed, you can't do that.

[Ren�e] Give back... our hard-earned gold.

I told you, magic has a cost.

You can't just take our m-

- [bell rings] - Did you hear that?

The school bell. Time for lunch.

[indistinct mystical chant]

- He can't do that. - [Trevor] Actually, I think he can.

According to this, we now owe Ed

all future allowances in perpetuity!

Never trust a magic user. I warned you this would happen.

No, you didn't.

I'm pretty sure I did.

I even showed you this newspaper article.

[all] No, you didn't!

Oh, I didn't?

Well, if I didn't say it,

you should have got the warning from my vibes.

The con artist is getting away with all our nuts.

Let's go get him.

- He's gone. - He tricked us!

[Helen] Well, well, well, well, well.

If only you ungrateful kids knew a magical witch

who could perhaps help you out

if they received a sufficient amount of groveling.

- Grovel! - [groveling] We're sorry, Helen.

- We're sorry, Helen. - We're sorry, Helen!

Music to my ears. I promise to get your allowances back.

[all] Yay! Yeah!

[Kiff grunts, pants] Did you really think

you could just skip town with our hard-earned nuts, Ed?

- Yes. Boop. - [zapping]

[Helen] Not so fast!

I challenge you to a duel, Ed,

if that's even your real name!

It's not, and I accept.

Get him, Helen.

[otherworldly wailing]

[indistinct witchy chant]

[loud boom]

- That's all I got. - Are you for real?

Get off my back. You kids thought

you were the magic experts. You deal with him.

- Okay. - [all gasp]

[? '80s electronic music playing]

[stunned silence]

[? '80s electronic music continues]

[more stunned silence]

[? '80s electronic music continues]

[bewildered silence]

[? '80s electronic music continues]

You know what? Ed may be a fraud,

but he taught us magic.

Let's show him what we can do.

[in unison] Flick, twist, twirl, swoop, up, down, tap!

[? hopeful music intensifies]

[in unison] Double loop, figure eight, point, aim, zap!

[whooshing]

[sponges whooshing]

[? '80s electronic music continues]

[in unison] Wiggle nose, swan pose, just like that!

[sponges zooming]

[splatter]

- [sponges whizzing] - [Ed screams] Oh! Yuck!

All right, let's finish him off!

- [thwacking] - No! No! [wails]

Is that Handsome Man's sponges for men?

- [sponges squeaking] - [grunts] They're gross! Argh!

- Argh! Ugh... - [hard thwacks]

- [whooshing] - [shakily] No! My swag!

- Aah! - [wet squelches]

[shakily] My swag!

[witchy wailing]

[Ed] Ahh!

[laughs menacingly]

No!

We did it!

So, should we go to a pawn shop or something?

- Turn this stuff back- - Oh, no, I'm keeping this stuff.

I promised to get your allowances back from Ed,

but I never said I'd get them back to you.

Let this serve as a reminder that I'm the best

and I'm always right about everything.

You kids can find your way home, right?

[engine revving, tires screech]

Helen finally managed to teach us a lesson.

Never trust a magic user.

? Nothing's gonna stop me now ?

[screams]

- [splash] - [gasping]

- [dolphin trilling] - Eh.

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