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We really wanted to know God. So we decided to sell everything
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and go to a trip in South America. We had heard
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about ayahuasca, which is one of the psychedelic,
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most potent ones that is used in ancient tribes
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like in the Amazon. We wanted to experience that.
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I had seen documentaries who talked about people
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who had experiences and who had seen the spirit world
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and all these visions. So I thought to myself,
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well, I know there is something now. I'm not an atheist anymore,
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but if I can see the spirit world, then I will have no doubts anymore.
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My wife was already kind of
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in a spiritual search. She was more in what's called the New Age.
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So she would do meditation, yoga, a bit of beliefs like that, the universe.
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But at the time, I was still an atheist. But one day we had a long road trip
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from Montreal to New York City. And on that road trip,
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there was three people: myself, my wife and a friend who was a muslim.
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And we, all of us, we explained our worldviews.
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One was the universe. One was the Islam
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and myself was an atheist.
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So we came from the monkey. There is no God.
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And at the end of this conversation, I realized that what I was explaining
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was not my belief system, it was just what I had been taught at school.
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So I was just repeating.
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So I thought to myself, maybe I'm wrong on this question,
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very important that maybe there is a God.
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I started to look for who is this God? Who is the Creator?
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I knew at the time that I wouldn't find God in Islam
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or I thought in Catholicism either. So I went in this path
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of Buddhism and Hinduism. I started to pick up on conferences
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from different people. One was Alan Watts, who talks a lot about Hinduism, Taoism,
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meditation and also the psychedelics. And then I started to listen
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to Terence McKenna, who talks a lot about psychedelics
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in a spiritual way.
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And so I studied this path, which was part of it was experiences,
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and part of it was trying to understand the theology behind it.
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What is the meaning of life?
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If there is a God, then there is a purpose.
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There is a meaning, there is... So I was trying to find what it was.
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And at the time we had a company with my wife.
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It was very successful. We had a lot of money,
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a lot of time, a lot of friends. We were in love.
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So we had, in a way, everything that you would want to be happy.
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But something was missing. So there was an emptiness in our heart,
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We decided to sell everything and go to a trip in South America.
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We had heard about ayahuasca
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I had seen documentaries who talked about people
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who had experiences and who had seen the spirit world
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and all these visions. So I thought to myself,
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W ell, I know there is something now.
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if I can see the spirit world, then I will have no doubts anymore.
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So we went we went to the Amazon in Peru, and we did that experience.
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I had the idea to write a book
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during this experience, and I said to myself,
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once you will write the book, you will go back to the Amazon
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to have more visions.
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And so after that, we came to Spain and we decided to, um,
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to buy a house a little bit isolated from the civilization.
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To focus really on this spiritual search
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My wife was an artist. She started to paint
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and I was focusing on writing this book.
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This book was going to be about spirituality and personal development.
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But you cannot just talk about spirituality
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without knowing what you're talking about. So I was doing a lot of research.
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And at the time I had encountered a man called Manly P. Hall.
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He has done a lot of conferences and talks, a lot about esotericism,
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about different religions of the world. And through this guy, I came
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to another set of people, Annie Besant and Leadbeater,
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who were disciples of a woman called Helena Blavatsky.
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She had written a book called The Secret Doctrine,
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and this book is kind of the basis of all the theology that these people use,
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and that all the modern books talk about spirituality.
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They use the same ideas coming from this book.
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Talks about reincarnation, karma, the spirit world.
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Once I wrote my book, I wanted to promote it.
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I opened the YouTube channel and I started to talk about spirituality,
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On the side I was also still doing
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some psychedelic experiences like LSD or mushrooms,
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and I had some experiences that showed me that
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and I had some experiences that kind of showed me
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that something was not exactly what it seemed.
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At the time, I didn't have children, but my wife was pregnant
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and at the time I had picked up meditation.
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I would meditate every day, 30 minutes in the day,
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and I lived in a very peaceful area in the nature.
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But when my wife gave birth to our first child, our lives changed.
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Because when you have a child, well, you get tired
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because they don't sleep much at night. They are very demanding
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and so that comfortable life well has been shaken.
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And then I realized that I was not as peaceful
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as I thought I was. I was not the Zen master
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that I believed I was because I would lose my temper.
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Sometimes I would be aggressive.
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The second one is that once I had finished my book,
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I was ready to go back to the ayahuasca because this was
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the promise I made to myself.
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Through that ayahuasca retreat,
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I could see the mirror of all my intentions
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that I had been selfish.
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It was a way of escaping my responsibility as a father.
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So it was like a big shock that I thought I was a good guy
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and that I was teaching people online that I was a spiritual, uh,
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but in fact, I was really selfish.
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And the third one is the origin of evil. Because through all that teaching,
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And the third one is the origin of evil. Because through all that teaching,
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reading all this, I didn't feel that I had found the truth
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with a big T. I have answers about the meaning of life
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through reincarnation and karma, but it was superficial,
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the origin., I couldn't understand what is the origin of evil,
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I didn't feel like I had really found it.
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And by studying the books on this problem,
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the origin of evil, from the people
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that I was studying, I got answers that didn't make sense.
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They said that evil doesn't exist, that it's just relative.
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For example, cancer is a bad thing for the person who dies from cancer.
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But if you take the point of view of the cancer itself,
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it's good because he has he has food from the body that it kills.
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It doesn't make any sense, right? This is madness to me.
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But this is what they explain. When I digested these three things,
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I was not as zen as I thought. This path is not working.
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I was worse than I thought I was, and I was not even aware
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that I had all these selfish intentions in my heart.
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And I didn't find the truth. I realized this path is not working.
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So it had been almost more than seven years, almost eight years.
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And so one day I cried out to God. I really, with the bottom
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of my heart crying. I said, God help me, I cannot do it
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myself, please help me. And very shortly after that, I had the first reply.
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I got in contact to Christian content. So first of all, I heard more about Jesus.
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I heard more about the Christianity, the message.
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Until one day I was doing some research on the fallen angels.
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I found a documentary. And in this documentary
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they talk about the fall of man, the deception of Satan,
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who wants to deceive people away from God, the fallen angels who are demons,
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who pretend to be spiritual guides and men in this world
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who are part of an organization called the Freemasonry, who actually
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worship Lucifer and are connected to so-called masters, ascended Masters,
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spirit guides who guide them to illumination
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to become as gods. And so this is exactly what the theology I was following
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in this new age. All this meditation, all the yoga that you do,
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is to attain illumination, to realize that you are actually God.
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In this documentary, they explained that it's actually
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the exact same deception that Satan used with Adam
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and Eve in the Garden of Eden. And so I realized:
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it looks like I had I have been deceived. But what really opened my eyes was that,
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first of all, they quoted a lot of things from books,
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from these people who I had translated some of the conferences
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had put on my YouTube channel, and the quotes
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were saying that Lucifer is their God
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and all these people were Freemasons from the 33rd degrees.
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And the second one was a quote
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from the Bible, Ephesians 6:12 'we do not fight
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against flesh and blood, but against spiritualities,
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against spirits in high places'. When I read that, I understood
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that we are part of a spiritual world, and the weapons of this war
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is not swords or bullets or guns. It's lies, ideas.
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I understood, it looks like I've been deceived.
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But more than that, when I saw Ephesians, I said,
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But more than that, when I saw Ephesians, I said,
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What is Ephesians? I don't know Ephesians.
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I've read a lot of books about spirituality,
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but I've never heard about Ephesians. Ephesians is obviously
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it's part of the New Testament. And I had not read the Bible
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because these people, these Freemasons, they say that the Bible
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has been corrupted, that we don't have the real Gospels.
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When I saw that documentary, the first thing I did
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was to do some research about the Bible. Has the Bible been changed?
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And I realized that no, it has not been changed.
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We have six, almost 6000 manuscripts of the New Testament in Greek.
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The Old Testament has been preserved. What we have, what when we read the Bible,
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is what has been written.
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There was a split moment when my flesh didn't want it, this truth,
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because I had put a lot of work in all these videos,
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and I had also prepared that image of me being a spiritual leader.
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So part of me didn't want this to be true. But once you taste the truth,
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if you are sincere, it doesn't matter the cost
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because you want the truth. So I decided to change.
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To block all my videos that was teaching this lie
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and started to tell people about this deception.
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And when I read the Bible, I started from Genesis to Revelation
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when I arrived at the New Testament, when I read Romans chapter two: 'you
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who think you are teaching others, do you teach yourself?
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You who say, do not steal, do you not steal?'
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So it was like the Bible was talking to me directly
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and I felt convicted. And so at the end of it understood
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that the truth that I was looking was in the Bible
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because the truth is in Jesus. Jesus is the truth, the way and the life
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and the origin of evil is from is coming from the deception of the devil.
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So I understood also, I couldn't change myself because it's impossible.
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Only God can change you when you surrender.
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And the last one is: I had all these selfish intentions.
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I had a broken heart because I was a sinner
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and I needed redemption. I needed to be forgiven.
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I went with a tent in a mountain
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and I confessed all my sins in front of God.
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I ask forgiveness for all my sins, and I asked him forgiveness
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for having been fooled and having been deceiving other people
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also through the YouTube channel. And I said I wanted
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to give my life to him.
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to sleep on the tent on the mountain. And that night I had a dream.
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but it was more than a dream. It was like a vivid experience
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that one man, very evil man, came with a long knife
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and he wanted to kill me. And behind him, standing with a peaceful presence
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was Jesus Christ, who just took his arm like this.
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I understood that it was God showing me that I am no more
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under the power of the evil, and that now God is protecting me.
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And after that we decided to baptize each other in water.
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My wife and I, at the time we were living in an isolated area.
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We didn't have any Christians around us. We just obeyed
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to what we read in the Bible. And so we baptized each other in water.
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But one day during that period,
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someone sent me a commentary to my YouTube channel
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and ask me my opinion about a movie. And the movie
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was from The Last Reformation. It was The Life.
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And when I watched the end of the movie at the end,
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when it was the last song I felt the Holy Spirit.
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At that time, I didn't know it was the Holy Spirit,
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but I felt an experience that overwhelmed me
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with a very strong conviction that you should be baptized
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in the Holy Spirit and you should sell your house and go.
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I was so shaken that I lay on the floor for like ten minutes with this.
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I went to the website of TLR and I found someone on the Map.
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Elizabeth who is a sister now in Barcelona and I told her what happened to me.
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Can you come to our house and pray for us? And she came with a couple of brothers
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to our house, the week later. They prayed, first of all for my wife,
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and she started to cry. She received the baptism
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of the Holy Spirit. But from the outside, what I saw was she was starting to cry.
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She was starting to be very emotional and started to speak in tongues.
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So I thought, okay, this is working because at the time I wasn't sure
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if it's going to it was going to happen or not.
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Even though I had checked on the Bible that yes, this
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is what we read in the Bible. And so then it was my my turn.
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We prayed for the baptism of the Holy Spirit
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right away, it it fell on me from,
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from below with a very strong love presence and a heat.
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I was sweating very profusely and with this
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very strong conviction that I want to do the will of God now,
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not just my will. After that, I decided to pray
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and fast for a week about the second thing,
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which was you should sell your house and go because I really
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didn't want to leave Spain.
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After six days
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I received a reply from my prayers. I felt God was telling me
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that your place is not here. Your house is not in this world.
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You have a place in the sky, but this is just a small period of time
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and with a peace also. So I said, okay, this is this is what we should do.
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So we put the house on sale and for about three months
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until we really left Canada, this sister Elisabet,
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with a couple of brothers, they came every week
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to a house to disciple us. So we started to learn
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about praying for people on the streets, trying to share the gospel.
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And after about three months we left and we arrived in Canada.
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It was a very difficult time, especially for my wife,
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but also for myself because it was very cold.
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We were used to living in Spain. A very comfortable life.
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Through that God was working in our heart and trying.
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It was revealing things that, you know, character that was important to change.
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And after nine months we decided to to come back to Spain.
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All the doors were blocked in Canada, so we understood
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that we were not meant to be there, but we were sent to Canada
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so that it could work in our heart. Before we left Canada, I went for a PTS,
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which is a Pioneer Training School for two weeks
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with Olivier and Julian and his teams. It was a wonderful time.
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I felt really connected with God, could hear His voice, His presence,
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and that was a really wonderful time. And so I thought,
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that would be a good thing to do for my wife also.
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And so when we came to Spain, we did the PTS,
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but this time it was for my wife and it was in the south of Spain
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with Robbert and with you guys. And obviously
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this was also a very powerful time, especially for my wife.
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We bought an apartment where we live now, and we went to a process of renovating it.
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It was kind of a being completely involved again.
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And I felt disconnected a little bit from God
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because I didn't pray as much as I used to.
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I didn't have a lot of fellowship, and I felt a little bit
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distanced from God. But I also couldn't do videos on YouTube
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as I used to before. And at first, I kind of felt bad about it
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because I had the idea that I have to perform,
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I have to do things for God, but I couldn't.
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So I felt like I was not doing the right thing.
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But God was working in my heart to so that I could understand
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that it's not just about doing, it's also about being,
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about connecting to God and being close to Him.
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And being aligned to His will. Because yes, He does want to save souls
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and He wants us to share about the gospel, to pray for people.
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But He also has a will. And there are seasons in our lives.
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And I understood that, that it's better to be aligned
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with the will of God than just doing things on our own flesh,
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on our own will. So I had to learn that, and I'm still learning it.
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So in conclusion, I would like to say that I have often regretted
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that it took me so long to find Jesus.
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But now I believe that God allowed me
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to spend all this time in reading a lot of spiritual books,
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doing ascetic practices, and spending time and money
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in spiritual retreats so that others don't have
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to do it when they realize it doesn't lead to God.
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The Christian path is not an easy one, but the peace and love
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that is found in Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior
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are worth giving up everything, and it is the only path
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that will take you through the storms of this life to the everlasting peace
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in heaven. If you haven't been born again. I really want to encourage you
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to repent and believe in the gospel. Be baptized and follow Jesus.
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I pray that the Holy Spirit will touch you today,
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that God will heal you, that he will restore you,
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and that he will use you for his glory. I pray in Jesus name, Amen.
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