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1
00:00:03,559 --> 00:00:07,237
(whistle blows,
crowd groaning over TV)
2
00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:09,101
Oh, damn,
he went down hard!
3
00:00:09,201 --> 00:00:10,703
I mean, on his nose.
4
00:00:10,803 --> 00:00:13,072
(British accent):
It's only a flesh wound.
5
00:00:14,125 --> 00:00:16,207
What?
6
00:00:16,208 --> 00:00:18,077
'Tis but a scratch.
7
00:00:18,078 --> 00:00:20,479
What-what are you saying, Dave?
8
00:00:20,480 --> 00:00:22,848
(normal voice):
Seriously? Come on. What-
9
00:00:22,948 --> 00:00:25,751
(British accent):
What you gonna do, bleed on me?
10
00:00:27,019 --> 00:00:29,389
Okay, is that,
is that from a song?
11
00:00:29,489 --> 00:00:32,292
Oh, I think it's a movie
from their culture.
12
00:00:32,392 --> 00:00:34,226
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
13
00:00:34,227 --> 00:00:36,661
(normal voice):
It's Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
14
00:00:36,662 --> 00:00:37,829
Everybody's seen it.
15
00:00:37,830 --> 00:00:39,064
Who's "everybody"?
16
00:00:39,065 --> 00:00:40,365
I told you, Dave, I haven't seen
17
00:00:40,366 --> 00:00:42,435
any of those
flying magic boy movies.
18
00:00:42,568 --> 00:00:45,237
It is not Harry Potter.
It's Monty Python.
19
00:00:45,238 --> 00:00:47,472
It's one of the funniest movies
of all time.
20
00:00:47,473 --> 00:00:48,741
Oh, I get it.
21
00:00:48,841 --> 00:00:51,076
It's like white people's
Coming to America.
22
00:00:51,210 --> 00:00:53,245
DAVE:
Y-Yes. Exactly.
23
00:00:53,346 --> 00:00:54,426
But, you know, better.
24
00:00:54,514 --> 00:00:56,115
Whoa.
Whoa. You trippin'.
25
00:00:56,248 --> 00:00:58,284
What's the matter
with you?
26
00:00:58,285 --> 00:00:59,884
Oh, anybody need
another beer?
27
00:00:59,885 --> 00:01:03,689
Uh, Malcolm, you heard
what your agent said.
28
00:01:03,789 --> 00:01:06,459
She wants to see a copy
of your novel in 30 days.
29
00:01:06,592 --> 00:01:08,428
You can't be writing impaired.
30
00:01:08,561 --> 00:01:10,061
What?
31
00:01:10,062 --> 00:01:12,897
Trey, when was the last time
you did anything not impaired?
32
00:01:12,898 --> 00:01:14,900
(crowd cheering)
33
00:01:15,000 --> 00:01:16,536
Oh, he banged on him.
34
00:01:16,636 --> 00:01:18,804
Ay-yo, Austin Reaves
is a bad boy.
35
00:01:18,805 --> 00:01:20,772
I'm telling you,
he looks like Dave,
36
00:01:20,773 --> 00:01:22,642
but he'll
posterize you. Yeah.
37
00:01:22,775 --> 00:01:24,209
Okay, you know what?
38
00:01:24,310 --> 00:01:26,812
I bet you guys five dollars
that I can slam dunk.
39
00:01:26,912 --> 00:01:29,315
Dave, you couldn't dunk
a doughnut.
40
00:01:29,415 --> 00:01:30,783
(laughing)
41
00:01:30,916 --> 00:01:33,085
Driveway! Now!
42
00:01:33,185 --> 00:01:34,235
Watch me work!
43
00:01:34,286 --> 00:01:35,621
Oh, I got to see it.
44
00:01:35,721 --> 00:01:38,458
Hey, you better have
some real money.
45
00:01:41,126 --> 00:01:43,663
Dave, you've been stretching
for like 15 minutes.
46
00:01:43,664 --> 00:01:45,229
You're not getting any taller.
47
00:01:45,230 --> 00:01:47,833
All right, you know what?
Fine, here we go.
48
00:01:49,635 --> 00:01:50,970
Johnson to the hole!
49
00:01:51,103 --> 00:01:52,472
?
50
00:01:52,572 --> 00:01:56,609
? Big dawg doing big things
like a dawg do ?
51
00:01:56,709 --> 00:01:59,845
? Dawg in him, I'm a handful ?
52
00:01:59,979 --> 00:02:02,648
? Big fangs, claws on him ?
53
00:02:02,748 --> 00:02:04,650
? Stay hungry, get it ?
54
00:02:04,784 --> 00:02:06,719
? Woof-woof. ?
55
00:02:07,453 --> 00:02:09,921
ALL:
Oh! Oh!
56
00:02:09,922 --> 00:02:12,024
Oh.
Oh.
57
00:02:12,124 --> 00:02:14,258
Dave, uh,
put some ice on that.
58
00:02:14,259 --> 00:02:15,827
Oh, I-I'm posting this. (laughs)
59
00:02:15,828 --> 00:02:17,098
Let me see.
(Dave groans)
60
00:02:17,196 --> 00:02:19,198
You know, I hate to
be petty, but, uh,
61
00:02:19,298 --> 00:02:21,168
I'm gonna need
that five dollars. Yes.
62
00:02:21,169 --> 00:02:24,869
? Welcome to the block,
welcome to the neighborhood ?
63
00:02:24,870 --> 00:02:26,406
? Welcome to the hood. ?
64
00:02:40,352 --> 00:02:42,287
(groggily):
Game time.
65
00:02:44,189 --> 00:02:46,858
Whoa! Whoa, whoa,
whoa, whoa, whoa!
66
00:02:46,859 --> 00:02:49,895
Whoa. Sit down, LeBron.
67
00:02:50,963 --> 00:02:52,698
The doctor was
very clear.
68
00:02:52,699 --> 00:02:54,999
You have a hairline fracture
in your collarbone.
69
00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,568
If you don't sit
completely still,
70
00:02:56,569 --> 00:02:57,779
you could
make it worse.
71
00:02:57,903 --> 00:02:59,539
I feel fantastic.
(chuckles)
72
00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:02,649
That's because you're on very,
very powerful painkillers.
73
00:03:02,742 --> 00:03:04,276
Mm-hmm.
74
00:03:04,410 --> 00:03:06,779
Now, relax.
I'll go get you some ice.
75
00:03:07,580 --> 00:03:09,048
You sure are pretty.
76
00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:10,683
Thank you.
77
00:03:10,783 --> 00:03:12,350
Those new jeans?
78
00:03:12,351 --> 00:03:14,086
I always wear these.
79
00:03:14,186 --> 00:03:16,255
Well, they're terrible.
80
00:03:19,324 --> 00:03:20,460
These are my favorite.
81
00:03:20,593 --> 00:03:21,860
Well, they're wack.
82
00:03:21,861 --> 00:03:24,571
Wiggity-wiggity-wiggity-
wiggity-wiggity-wack.
83
00:03:25,531 --> 00:03:28,066
I'm gonna go
finish my dunk. No!
84
00:03:28,067 --> 00:03:31,437
No, no, no, no, no.
Ooh, no, no, no.
85
00:03:31,537 --> 00:03:34,106
Your dunking days
are over.
86
00:03:35,274 --> 00:03:37,843
(sniffing)
87
00:03:37,943 --> 00:03:39,311
You smell pretty.
88
00:03:39,445 --> 00:03:40,646
Aw, thank you.
89
00:03:43,282 --> 00:03:47,352
Mama's so sorry she has to
keep working on the weekends.
90
00:03:47,353 --> 00:03:50,154
Your grandpa and your daddy want
to open a second Fusebox
91
00:03:50,155 --> 00:03:52,056
in a ridiculously short
amount of time,
92
00:03:52,057 --> 00:03:55,294
and Mama is the only one
that knows how to make it work.
93
00:03:55,394 --> 00:03:57,129
Aw.
94
00:03:57,229 --> 00:03:59,331
Well, some of that
is true, honey,
95
00:03:59,332 --> 00:04:01,733
and some of that is just
Mama being mean to Dada.
96
00:04:01,734 --> 00:04:03,935
(chuckles)
97
00:04:03,936 --> 00:04:05,638
I just hate
how much I'm missing.
98
00:04:05,771 --> 00:04:07,940
I missed her first high five
the other day.
99
00:04:08,040 --> 00:04:09,975
Oh, my God.
It was so adorable.
100
00:04:10,075 --> 00:04:11,210
Mommy!
101
00:04:12,978 --> 00:04:14,714
I mean, she had
her thumb folded,
102
00:04:14,814 --> 00:04:16,916
so it was really like
a low four.
103
00:04:17,983 --> 00:04:20,451
Oh, but don't worry.
104
00:04:20,452 --> 00:04:23,255
There will be plenty
of milestones for you to see.
105
00:04:23,256 --> 00:04:24,723
Thank you, Mrs. B.
(Tina chuckles)
106
00:04:24,724 --> 00:04:26,025
Have fun with her today.
107
00:04:26,125 --> 00:04:27,827
Oh, don't you worry, we will.
108
00:04:27,927 --> 00:04:31,296
We are gonna go to the sandbox,
and we're gonna feed the ducks,
109
00:04:31,297 --> 00:04:33,297
and then we're gonna have tea
at the Langham...
110
00:04:33,298 --> 00:04:34,298
Mom, Mom.
111
00:04:34,299 --> 00:04:35,367
Mom.
112
00:04:35,501 --> 00:04:37,136
Remember what
we said about
113
00:04:37,236 --> 00:04:38,638
not torturing Courtney?
114
00:04:38,639 --> 00:04:40,972
Well, that's why I didn't
mention the trolley ride.
115
00:04:40,973 --> 00:04:42,607
You're gonna go
on the trolley, too?
116
00:04:42,608 --> 00:04:44,178
All right.
Let's go to work. Okay.
117
00:04:44,179 --> 00:04:46,077
We're going to work.
I know. I wanted to take her on...
118
00:04:46,078 --> 00:04:47,212
Say bye-bye.
119
00:04:47,346 --> 00:04:49,649
Oh, bye.
Oh, yeah, she's gonna miss you.
120
00:04:49,749 --> 00:04:51,884
Oh, look,
she misses you already!
121
00:04:52,017 --> 00:04:54,253
Aw!
122
00:04:56,055 --> 00:04:58,790
It was so nice of you
to make Dave a cake.
123
00:04:58,791 --> 00:05:00,693
Ah, it's the least we can do,
124
00:05:00,793 --> 00:05:04,697
considering Calvin goaded Dave
into trying to dunk.
125
00:05:05,631 --> 00:05:07,166
And by accepting this cake,
126
00:05:07,266 --> 00:05:10,156
you forfeit the right to take
any legal action against us.
127
00:05:10,169 --> 00:05:11,403
Enjoy.
128
00:05:12,705 --> 00:05:14,505
Cream cheese frosting.
129
00:05:14,506 --> 00:05:16,340
White chocolate chips.
130
00:05:16,341 --> 00:05:17,642
Oh.
131
00:05:17,643 --> 00:05:19,444
Mmm. Mmm.
132
00:05:20,212 --> 00:05:23,515
Tina... this is not your best.
133
00:05:27,419 --> 00:05:28,469
What did he say?
134
00:05:28,487 --> 00:05:30,255
Don't pay him any attention.
135
00:05:30,355 --> 00:05:32,023
He's on serious pain medication.
136
00:05:32,024 --> 00:05:33,954
Yeah, well,
he's gonna need some more.
137
00:05:34,927 --> 00:05:36,128
Now, what is the deal
138
00:05:36,228 --> 00:05:38,430
with Black people
and red velvet cake?
139
00:05:38,431 --> 00:05:41,132
Now, they always
are just going on...
140
00:05:41,133 --> 00:05:42,533
Dave, Dave,
don't finish that thought.
141
00:05:42,534 --> 00:05:45,237
No, you know what?
I-I want to hear this.
142
00:05:45,337 --> 00:05:48,140
I'm just-
Come on, I-I'm-
143
00:05:48,240 --> 00:05:49,975
I'm tired...
144
00:05:50,776 --> 00:05:52,812
...of pretending
that it's awesome.
145
00:05:53,913 --> 00:05:56,048
You know what's awesome?
Cookies cakes.
146
00:05:56,148 --> 00:05:57,216
I love cookies cakes.
147
00:05:57,316 --> 00:05:59,351
Tina, go make me
a cookies cake.
148
00:06:01,520 --> 00:06:02,988
Calvin, hold the baby.
149
00:06:02,989 --> 00:06:04,555
No, he doesn't know
what he's saying.
150
00:06:04,556 --> 00:06:06,691
Come on, babe.
How about we just go, all right?
151
00:06:06,692 --> 00:06:08,693
All right. Come on, Daphne.
152
00:06:08,694 --> 00:06:11,096
Let's go feed the ducks, yeah.
153
00:06:11,196 --> 00:06:12,464
DAPHNE:
Mama.
154
00:06:12,598 --> 00:06:14,048
Oh, my God.
Did you hear that?
155
00:06:14,049 --> 00:06:15,566
She just said
her first word.
156
00:06:15,567 --> 00:06:16,647
She just said "Mama"!
157
00:06:16,702 --> 00:06:18,938
Oh, good for you,
Daphne. Oh.
158
00:06:19,038 --> 00:06:21,240
Uh, Tina?
159
00:06:21,241 --> 00:06:23,274
I'm excited
for her first word and all,
160
00:06:23,275 --> 00:06:26,478
but you do realize
she just called you "Mama"?
161
00:06:27,379 --> 00:06:29,448
Instead of
her actual mama.
162
00:06:29,548 --> 00:06:31,550
Oh, damn.
163
00:06:32,718 --> 00:06:34,286
Oh, this isn't good.
164
00:06:34,287 --> 00:06:35,720
Courtney already
feels bad
165
00:06:35,721 --> 00:06:37,622
about not spending
enough time with her.
166
00:06:37,623 --> 00:06:39,390
Well, you've been spending
so much time with her,
167
00:06:39,391 --> 00:06:41,259
she's really getting
attached to you.
168
00:06:41,260 --> 00:06:44,228
Well, I can't help it if they
leave her with me all the time.
169
00:06:44,229 --> 00:06:45,930
I'd love
to take her for you,
170
00:06:45,931 --> 00:06:47,867
but I have
to babysit Dave.
171
00:06:48,901 --> 00:06:50,469
Well, Calvin can watch him.
172
00:06:50,569 --> 00:06:52,805
What? No, I-I'm busy.
173
00:06:52,905 --> 00:06:55,240
Oh. What were you gonna do?
174
00:06:55,340 --> 00:06:57,242
Chill.
175
00:06:58,978 --> 00:07:00,746
Like I said,
Calvin's got him.
176
00:07:00,846 --> 00:07:02,014
Come on, Gemma.
177
00:07:02,015 --> 00:07:04,248
Courtney would be
devastated to know
178
00:07:04,249 --> 00:07:07,252
that her baby called
somebody else "Mama." Oh.
179
00:07:07,352 --> 00:07:08,854
Especially an old person.
180
00:07:09,714 --> 00:07:13,091
Okay, he got one more time.
Okay. Okay.
181
00:07:13,092 --> 00:07:14,894
Okay. Okay.
One more time.
182
00:07:15,828 --> 00:07:17,830
Oh, my baby, I know.
183
00:07:17,930 --> 00:07:20,933
Your mama's gonna
whup his ass.
184
00:07:20,934 --> 00:07:24,502
Bet you five dollars
I could slam dunk a basketball.
185
00:07:24,503 --> 00:07:27,339
Dave, sit
your ass down. (groans)
186
00:07:30,676 --> 00:07:34,213
Ooh, Daphne.
Look at these cool L.A. moms,
187
00:07:34,346 --> 00:07:35,681
with their fresh blowouts
188
00:07:35,781 --> 00:07:39,885
and designer baby bags
and thousand-dollar strollers.
189
00:07:40,019 --> 00:07:43,188
No, don't stare at them.
Don't be thirsty.
190
00:07:43,288 --> 00:07:44,389
(Daphne fussing)
191
00:07:44,523 --> 00:07:46,258
GEMMA:
Oh. Oh.
192
00:07:46,358 --> 00:07:48,459
Hey, can I help you?
193
00:07:48,460 --> 00:07:50,328
I'm sorry, she's not
usually like this.
194
00:07:50,329 --> 00:07:52,031
Don't be silly.
195
00:07:52,131 --> 00:07:53,866
I'm Michelle. Who's this?
196
00:07:53,867 --> 00:07:54,999
Gemma.
197
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:58,037
Oh, uh, this is Daphne.
198
00:07:59,171 --> 00:08:01,140
She's adorable.
199
00:08:01,240 --> 00:08:02,808
Aw. Thank you.
200
00:08:02,908 --> 00:08:04,109
How old are you?
201
00:08:04,209 --> 00:08:05,745
Thirty-nine.
202
00:08:05,878 --> 00:08:07,979
(laughing)
203
00:08:07,980 --> 00:08:09,381
Okay, you're funny.
204
00:08:09,514 --> 00:08:12,084
Ah.
Oh. Come hang with us.
205
00:08:12,217 --> 00:08:13,418
We've got morning buns.
206
00:08:13,518 --> 00:08:15,821
I love morning buns.
207
00:08:15,921 --> 00:08:18,457
I don't even know
what those are.
208
00:08:22,561 --> 00:08:24,463
Yep, come on, Dave.
209
00:08:24,563 --> 00:08:26,565
Let's make
the best of it.
210
00:08:26,665 --> 00:08:28,667
I know being injured
can be tough.
211
00:08:28,768 --> 00:08:30,668
You know, one time,
I hurt my knee
212
00:08:30,669 --> 00:08:32,003
sacking the quarterback and...
213
00:08:32,004 --> 00:08:34,239
Oh, here we go.
214
00:08:35,374 --> 00:08:37,208
The glory days.
215
00:08:37,209 --> 00:08:40,712
Oof. Go ahead, Calvin,
trot out the greatest hits.
216
00:08:40,713 --> 00:08:44,182
I thought you liked
my football stories. Oh, yeah, I do.
217
00:08:44,183 --> 00:08:46,651
Every time you tell them,
your stats get better.
218
00:08:49,088 --> 00:08:51,090
Eat your damn sandwich.
219
00:08:53,025 --> 00:08:55,260
How'd you manage
to burn the outside
220
00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,262
without melting
the cheese inside?
221
00:08:57,362 --> 00:08:58,931
Calvin...
222
00:08:59,031 --> 00:09:00,499
you better stick to cars.
223
00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:02,935
Dave, listen.
224
00:09:02,936 --> 00:09:04,803
For your information,
this is how you...
225
00:09:04,804 --> 00:09:08,907
You know, I-I'm gonna make this
very simple for you, Calvin.
226
00:09:08,908 --> 00:09:10,575
How about a granola bar?
227
00:09:11,710 --> 00:09:12,878
Sure.
228
00:09:12,978 --> 00:09:14,546
Go on, now.
229
00:09:15,881 --> 00:09:17,316
(knock on door)
230
00:09:19,418 --> 00:09:21,886
Hey, Pop. Mama said
you might need a break.
231
00:09:21,887 --> 00:09:23,421
I'm taking a breather
from my writing, so...
232
00:09:23,422 --> 00:09:25,024
Bye.
233
00:09:31,430 --> 00:09:32,497
A breather?
234
00:09:32,597 --> 00:09:34,333
Is that what we're calling it?
235
00:09:35,600 --> 00:09:37,068
What are you saying, Dave?
236
00:09:37,069 --> 00:09:40,239
Let me spell it out
for you, Mr. Writer.
237
00:09:40,339 --> 00:09:42,741
You are
procrastinating.
238
00:09:43,308 --> 00:09:44,810
Have you even started?
239
00:09:44,910 --> 00:09:48,779
Yes. A Word document has been
opened, titled and saved.
240
00:09:48,780 --> 00:09:49,830
What's the title?
241
00:09:49,849 --> 00:09:51,884
"Malcolm's big book."
242
00:09:55,287 --> 00:09:56,587
Look, Malcolm, I get it.
243
00:09:56,588 --> 00:09:58,590
It's hard to start writing.
244
00:09:58,591 --> 00:10:00,458
You know, you worry
you don't have what it takes,
245
00:10:00,459 --> 00:10:03,227
that you haven't lived enough,
you haven't traveled enough.
246
00:10:03,228 --> 00:10:05,831
You don't have
anything interesting to say.
247
00:10:05,931 --> 00:10:10,202
And even if you did,
who would want to read it?
248
00:10:11,070 --> 00:10:13,471
Man, I've lived!
I've had adventures!
249
00:10:13,472 --> 00:10:15,640
Well, yeah, sure,
I mean, you could write
250
00:10:15,641 --> 00:10:17,308
Journey to the Center
of the House
251
00:10:17,309 --> 00:10:20,079
30 Feet Away from My Parents.
252
00:10:22,814 --> 00:10:24,549
That's a stupid-ass title.
253
00:10:26,518 --> 00:10:28,020
Hey, Pop!
254
00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:29,922
Pop, come get your friend!
255
00:10:32,557 --> 00:10:34,093
Man.
256
00:10:34,193 --> 00:10:35,960
(sighs)
257
00:10:35,961 --> 00:10:37,529
(groans)
258
00:10:39,932 --> 00:10:41,733
Oh. You finished
writing already?
259
00:10:41,867 --> 00:10:44,369
No. I mean, what would I
even write about, Trey?
260
00:10:44,370 --> 00:10:46,170
The Journey to the Center
of the House
261
00:10:46,171 --> 00:10:47,838
of the Boy Who's Never
Been Nowhere?
262
00:10:47,839 --> 00:10:49,374
What?
263
00:10:49,375 --> 00:10:52,110
Man, it's just
something Dave said.
264
00:10:52,111 --> 00:10:53,677
I don't know.
Man, forget Dave.
265
00:10:53,678 --> 00:10:55,813
When you played ball,
you went everywhere.
266
00:10:55,814 --> 00:10:57,016
You went to Albuquerque.
267
00:10:57,116 --> 00:10:58,317
You went to Little Rock.
268
00:10:58,417 --> 00:11:00,920
You even had a
layover in New York.
269
00:11:01,720 --> 00:11:03,956
Yeah, man, but I blew
that all up for this.
270
00:11:04,056 --> 00:11:07,491
Exactly. So this
has to work for us.
271
00:11:07,492 --> 00:11:09,828
What you mean "us"?
272
00:11:09,929 --> 00:11:11,696
I'm part of your
literary crew.
273
00:11:11,796 --> 00:11:14,934
Like that show Entourage.
I'm your Turtle.
274
00:11:14,935 --> 00:11:17,969
Well, I don't know
what to tell you, Trey.
275
00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:20,405
I guess this is
what writer's block is.
276
00:11:20,505 --> 00:11:22,574
You know what?
277
00:11:22,674 --> 00:11:26,345
Good thing for you,
I have writer's unblock.
278
00:11:28,080 --> 00:11:30,950
I am not eating
your weed gummies, Trey.
279
00:11:31,783 --> 00:11:34,286
What page you on?
One.
280
00:11:39,624 --> 00:11:41,626
Oh, what the hell?
281
00:11:44,063 --> 00:11:45,896
It's like strawberry.
Yeah.
282
00:11:45,897 --> 00:11:48,166
You know what? I'm-a go
get you something to eat.
283
00:11:48,167 --> 00:11:51,103
I'm not even hungry.
You will be.
284
00:11:53,438 --> 00:11:55,740
Was I just supposed to eat one?
(door closes)
285
00:11:57,542 --> 00:11:59,278
Tina, Tina, Tina, Tina.
286
00:11:59,378 --> 00:12:00,645
Come here.
287
00:12:00,646 --> 00:12:02,713
One of the moms was
wearing these sunglasses.
288
00:12:02,714 --> 00:12:05,150
I swear I saw J.Lo wearing them.
289
00:12:06,485 --> 00:12:08,353
These women are so cool.
290
00:12:08,453 --> 00:12:09,833
And they were talking about
291
00:12:09,834 --> 00:12:12,123
going on a wine train
to Temecula next weekend,
292
00:12:12,124 --> 00:12:13,758
and they invited me.
293
00:12:15,660 --> 00:12:17,228
So, this is a moms' group?
294
00:12:17,229 --> 00:12:19,598
A cool moms' group.
295
00:12:20,165 --> 00:12:21,500
(phone chimes)
296
00:12:21,600 --> 00:12:23,002
(gasps)
297
00:12:23,135 --> 00:12:25,103
They just added me
to the group chat.
298
00:12:25,104 --> 00:12:26,571
I'm gonna put in a heart emoji.
299
00:12:26,671 --> 00:12:30,142
Okay, Gemma, so you were
in the park with the baby,
300
00:12:30,242 --> 00:12:33,578
a group of moms with babies
invited you to join them.
301
00:12:33,678 --> 00:12:35,714
They think you're Daphne's mom.
302
00:12:37,782 --> 00:12:39,651
Oh, God.
303
00:12:39,784 --> 00:12:43,722
Oh, but I've always wanted
to be in a group like this.
304
00:12:43,822 --> 00:12:46,424
Back when Grover was a baby
in Kalamazoo,
305
00:12:46,425 --> 00:12:50,695
all the other moms were,
you know... regular.
306
00:12:52,831 --> 00:12:55,967
Earthy. Lot of Crocs.
307
00:12:57,602 --> 00:12:59,904
Says the woman
wearing hobo jeans.
308
00:13:00,005 --> 00:13:01,606
(laughs)
309
00:13:02,374 --> 00:13:03,942
Okay, Gemma, I'm sorry,
310
00:13:03,943 --> 00:13:06,810
but it seems to me they only
want you in their little clique
311
00:13:06,811 --> 00:13:08,861
because you either adopted
a Black baby
312
00:13:08,862 --> 00:13:10,781
or you're in
an interracial marriage.
313
00:13:10,782 --> 00:13:13,685
(scoffs) With me,
the whitest man in America.
314
00:13:16,021 --> 00:13:17,189
(knock on door)
315
00:13:17,322 --> 00:13:19,024
Oh, hey, guys.
Hey, baby.
316
00:13:19,124 --> 00:13:21,860
Hey, Daphne.
Oh, I put her to sleep. She's sleeping.
317
00:13:21,960 --> 00:13:23,340
Okay. How'd it go today, Mom?
318
00:13:23,395 --> 00:13:25,697
Oh, fine.
You know, no big news.
319
00:13:25,797 --> 00:13:27,766
Except Daphne said
her first word.
320
00:13:27,866 --> 00:13:29,034
(gasps)
321
00:13:29,134 --> 00:13:31,502
Oh, my God!
That is fantastic.
322
00:13:31,503 --> 00:13:33,372
What did she say?
323
00:13:33,472 --> 00:13:35,107
"Apple."
"Canoe."
324
00:13:36,741 --> 00:13:38,443
"Canoe"? Really, Gemma?
325
00:13:39,378 --> 00:13:41,479
She said "Mama."
Oh.
326
00:13:41,480 --> 00:13:42,914
But to your mama,
327
00:13:43,014 --> 00:13:44,416
not your baby mama.
328
00:13:44,549 --> 00:13:45,784
Oh.
329
00:13:46,851 --> 00:13:49,487
Oh. Oh, boy. Uh, okay.
330
00:13:49,488 --> 00:13:51,423
Courtney cannot find out
about this.
331
00:13:51,556 --> 00:13:52,724
No.
332
00:13:52,857 --> 00:13:54,959
Marty, you wear
a lot of ugly sweaters.
333
00:13:56,928 --> 00:14:00,099
But this one has gots to be
the ugliest.
334
00:14:02,901 --> 00:14:04,403
Who is this person?!
335
00:14:12,177 --> 00:14:14,213
"...as the streetlights
336
00:14:14,313 --> 00:14:17,515
flickered to life
on Palmer Avenue."
337
00:14:17,516 --> 00:14:19,751
Boom! Chapter one is done.
338
00:14:19,851 --> 00:14:21,586
(whoops) Chapter two,
339
00:14:21,686 --> 00:14:23,255
already in my head.
340
00:14:23,355 --> 00:14:24,923
Hey, we be writing, boy.
341
00:14:25,056 --> 00:14:26,791
Yeah.
(laughs)
342
00:14:26,891 --> 00:14:29,094
Hey, man, th-that
weed gummy of yours,
343
00:14:29,095 --> 00:14:31,162
it really helped me
to stop overthinking.
344
00:14:31,163 --> 00:14:32,863
You know, the story
just flowed out of me.
345
00:14:32,864 --> 00:14:34,766
What'd I tell you?
Yeah.
346
00:14:34,899 --> 00:14:36,268
But... but...
347
00:14:36,368 --> 00:14:37,569
Trey, is this a problem?
348
00:14:37,702 --> 00:14:39,938
Like, do I need
to be high to write?
349
00:14:40,038 --> 00:14:43,275
Is this story all mine,
or is it the weed?
350
00:14:43,375 --> 00:14:45,810
(laughing)
351
00:14:45,910 --> 00:14:48,280
What?
Man, if it was the weed,
352
00:14:48,413 --> 00:14:49,648
I'd be Shakespeare.
353
00:14:49,748 --> 00:14:51,783
(laughing)
354
00:14:51,883 --> 00:14:53,818
Man, it wasn't
nothing in that gummy
355
00:14:53,918 --> 00:14:57,189
but sugar and one percent
real fruit juice.
356
00:14:57,289 --> 00:14:58,757
What?
357
00:14:58,890 --> 00:15:01,720
Yeah, I just said it was weed
to get you out of your own way.
358
00:15:01,760 --> 00:15:05,063
If I'd given you one of my
real weed gummies... (scoffs)
359
00:15:05,064 --> 00:15:07,431
boy, you'd be walking down
the street butt-naked,
360
00:15:07,432 --> 00:15:10,435
trying to type on
an open pizza box.
361
00:15:12,137 --> 00:15:14,606
Why would I do that?
Why did I do that?
362
00:15:16,975 --> 00:15:18,543
So this story
is all mine?
363
00:15:18,643 --> 00:15:19,910
All you.
364
00:15:19,911 --> 00:15:22,346
You're damn right it's all mine,
because I'm a writer.
365
00:15:22,347 --> 00:15:25,584
What are you?
What are you? I'm a writer. I'm a writer!
366
00:15:27,419 --> 00:15:28,753
Dakota?
Mm-hmm?
367
00:15:28,853 --> 00:15:32,324
These deviled eggs
are the best I have ever had.
368
00:15:32,457 --> 00:15:34,826
Once you eat eggs
from your own chicken,
369
00:15:34,959 --> 00:15:36,949
you just can't go back
to store-bought.
370
00:15:36,995 --> 00:15:38,297
Ah.
371
00:15:39,130 --> 00:15:40,765
I have got to get a coop.
372
00:15:40,865 --> 00:15:42,401
Yes.
373
00:15:42,501 --> 00:15:43,551
Gemma.
374
00:15:43,552 --> 00:15:45,068
And just go outside,
get the eggs...
375
00:15:45,069 --> 00:15:46,003
Gemma?
...from my chickens in the morning...
376
00:15:46,004 --> 00:15:47,172
Gemma!
377
00:15:48,373 --> 00:15:49,841
How y'all doing?
378
00:15:49,941 --> 00:15:52,277
How you-
How you doing?
379
00:15:52,377 --> 00:15:53,911
GEMMA:
Hi.
380
00:15:53,912 --> 00:15:55,813
You said you were taking
Daphne around the block.
381
00:15:55,814 --> 00:15:57,081
What are you doing?
382
00:15:57,182 --> 00:15:59,584
I know, I know.
I'm going to tell them.
383
00:15:59,684 --> 00:16:01,118
Right after
the wine train.
384
00:16:01,119 --> 00:16:04,622
Gemma, you have got to stop
this weird charade.
385
00:16:04,623 --> 00:16:06,458
Now, give me my grandbaby!
386
00:16:07,692 --> 00:16:11,430
Aw. Hey, Gemma.
Who's this?
387
00:16:11,530 --> 00:16:14,097
Okay, see, I...
Oh!
388
00:16:14,098 --> 00:16:15,800
Is this your wife?
389
00:16:20,839 --> 00:16:22,707
Yes.
390
00:16:22,841 --> 00:16:25,810
This is my wife, Tina.
391
00:16:30,815 --> 00:16:33,116
Tina. (chuckles)
392
00:16:33,117 --> 00:16:36,054
You must come on the
wine train next weekend. Oh.
393
00:16:37,522 --> 00:16:40,692
Well, see, the thing is,
I, uh...
394
00:16:40,792 --> 00:16:43,061
I, uh...
It's eight courses of amazing food,
395
00:16:43,194 --> 00:16:46,265
beautiful scenery,
heavy pours.
396
00:16:46,266 --> 00:16:49,132
We're visiting
five vineyards,
397
00:16:49,133 --> 00:16:52,537
and at the last one,
Alicia Keys is performing.
398
00:16:54,205 --> 00:16:56,241
Alicia Keys?
399
00:16:58,310 --> 00:17:03,248
Oh, baby, why didn't you
tell me that? (chuckles)
400
00:17:05,550 --> 00:17:07,486
(chuckles)
401
00:17:09,354 --> 00:17:11,523
Admit it,
those moms are cool.
402
00:17:11,623 --> 00:17:13,133
(sighs):
Yeah, they're cool.
403
00:17:13,134 --> 00:17:14,792
And I guess
it's good that Daphne
404
00:17:14,793 --> 00:17:16,395
has a playgroup on the weekends.
405
00:17:16,528 --> 00:17:18,397
Right? Come on.
406
00:17:18,497 --> 00:17:21,065
Okay, we can do the wine train.
407
00:17:21,165 --> 00:17:25,002
And we can hang with them
in the park, occasionally.
408
00:17:25,003 --> 00:17:26,905
But no kissing on the mouth!
409
00:17:26,906 --> 00:17:29,773
Okay, but I'm just saying,
it sells it if we...
410
00:17:29,774 --> 00:17:32,843
Gemma,
don't play with me. Okay, fine.
411
00:17:32,844 --> 00:17:34,613
Hey, hey.
412
00:17:34,713 --> 00:17:36,581
Hey.
Hey.
413
00:17:36,681 --> 00:17:38,283
Well, we did it.
414
00:17:38,284 --> 00:17:39,850
We finished
the whole expansion plan
415
00:17:39,851 --> 00:17:41,752
for the charging nodes
at the new Fusebox.
416
00:17:41,753 --> 00:17:43,254
Congratulations!
417
00:17:43,355 --> 00:17:45,189
On whatever the hell
you just said.
418
00:17:46,057 --> 00:17:47,426
Thank you, Mrs. B.
419
00:17:47,526 --> 00:17:49,336
You have been babysitting
so much,
420
00:17:49,361 --> 00:17:52,163
every weekend,
and I know it's been a lot.
421
00:17:52,263 --> 00:17:54,299
Hey, happy to help.
422
00:17:54,433 --> 00:17:57,302
Hey! Where's my baby?
423
00:17:58,269 --> 00:18:00,705
Oh, come here.
TINA: Oh. There she is.
424
00:18:00,805 --> 00:18:02,541
DAPHNE: Mama.
(gasps)
425
00:18:02,641 --> 00:18:04,074
MARTY:
Oh, my God!
426
00:18:04,075 --> 00:18:05,876
She said her first word!
427
00:18:05,877 --> 00:18:07,812
(laughs)
TINA: Oh, my God!
428
00:18:07,813 --> 00:18:09,212
Did she just
call me "Mama"?
429
00:18:09,213 --> 00:18:10,714
Who else would
she be talking to?
430
00:18:10,715 --> 00:18:13,017
(laughing)
431
00:18:13,117 --> 00:18:16,521
Yes, I am your
mama. Yes.
432
00:18:21,545 --> 00:18:23,561
(groans)
433
00:18:23,562 --> 00:18:26,631
Oh, my gosh,
this hurts.
434
00:18:26,765 --> 00:18:30,602
Well, I gave you the last
of your pain pills at noon.
435
00:18:30,702 --> 00:18:31,970
They must've worn off.
436
00:18:32,070 --> 00:18:33,737
Oh. (chuckles)
437
00:18:33,738 --> 00:18:35,039
Is this for me?
438
00:18:35,139 --> 00:18:37,041
I thought you didn't like
red velvet.
439
00:18:37,141 --> 00:18:40,445
Not like red velvet?
I love red velvet.
440
00:18:41,279 --> 00:18:42,914
Mmm.
441
00:18:43,014 --> 00:18:45,183
Tina, my compliments
to the chef.
442
00:18:45,283 --> 00:18:49,053
Knocked it out of the park.
This is so moist.
443
00:18:50,655 --> 00:18:52,323
Dave's back.
444
00:18:52,324 --> 00:18:55,726
If you think I'm gonna forgive
you about what you said yest-
445
00:18:55,727 --> 00:18:57,428
Tina, forget about Dave.
446
00:18:57,429 --> 00:18:59,779
Let's go drink wine
and talk about Alicia Keys.
447
00:19:01,760 --> 00:19:07,471
Calvin, did I say something bad?
I-I can't remember a thing.
448
00:19:07,472 --> 00:19:12,010
Well, honestly, Dave,
you were a straight jackass.
449
00:19:13,111 --> 00:19:17,048
You know, some of the things
you said sounded like me.
450
00:19:17,181 --> 00:19:18,550
And honesty is good,
451
00:19:18,683 --> 00:19:20,852
but I don't think
we can have two mes.
452
00:19:20,985 --> 00:19:22,787
I don't know.
453
00:19:22,788 --> 00:19:24,922
Two Calvins sounds
pretty awesome to me.
454
00:19:24,923 --> 00:19:26,124
(chuckles)
455
00:19:26,224 --> 00:19:28,214
Well, it's good
to have you back, buddy.
456
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:31,796
Since I'm the one that got you
into this, I guess I owe you.
457
00:19:31,896 --> 00:19:33,398
So...
458
00:19:33,532 --> 00:19:36,100
what do you say we watch
your British snake movie?
459
00:19:36,200 --> 00:19:38,537
Monty Python and
the Holy Grail?
460
00:19:38,637 --> 00:19:40,338
Sure.
461
00:19:42,040 --> 00:19:45,176
(British accent):
She turned me into a newt.
462
00:19:45,276 --> 00:19:48,913
(Cockney accent):
Lose the bloody accent, Dave, or I'm leavin'.
463
00:19:49,013 --> 00:19:51,815
Okay, fine. Blimey.
464
00:19:51,816 --> 00:19:53,684
(normal voice):
All right. (normal voice):
465
00:19:53,685 --> 00:19:54,735
Okay, okay, fine.
466
00:19:54,853 --> 00:19:56,354
Fine. Blimey.
467
00:19:57,789 --> 00:19:59,123
All right.
468
00:19:59,223 --> 00:20:00,459
David...
469
00:20:07,466 --> 00:20:09,668
Oh, come on, Daph,
you can say it.
470
00:20:09,768 --> 00:20:12,336
Who am I? I'm your mama.
471
00:20:12,437 --> 00:20:13,905
"Mama."
Okay, okay.
472
00:20:14,005 --> 00:20:15,507
She's got "Mama."
All right.
473
00:20:15,607 --> 00:20:17,341
Daph, try "Dada."
474
00:20:17,342 --> 00:20:19,076
"Dada." (stammers) "Dada."
(fussing)
475
00:20:19,077 --> 00:20:20,479
"Dada." Say "Dada."
476
00:20:20,612 --> 00:20:21,813
(crying)
477
00:20:21,814 --> 00:20:22,980
We're getting there.
478
00:20:22,981 --> 00:20:24,615
It's close.
Oh!
479
00:20:24,616 --> 00:20:26,150
Look, Bronwyn.
480
00:20:26,250 --> 00:20:28,653
It's your friend Daphne.
481
00:20:28,787 --> 00:20:30,154
Daphne, hello.
482
00:20:30,288 --> 00:20:31,755
Uh, hi.
483
00:20:31,756 --> 00:20:34,125
Hi. (chuckles) Hi.
484
00:20:34,225 --> 00:20:36,661
Uh, I-I'm Marty,
and this is Courtney.
485
00:20:36,761 --> 00:20:38,162
How great!
486
00:20:38,262 --> 00:20:41,298
You must be babysitting
for Gemma and her wife Tina.
487
00:20:41,299 --> 00:20:42,701
Oh.
488
00:20:42,834 --> 00:20:44,101
Excuse me?
489
00:20:44,102 --> 00:20:45,670
Tell them I said hi.
490
00:20:49,474 --> 00:20:52,276
Marty...
No, it's already ringing.
491
00:20:58,116 --> 00:21:02,152
Captioning sponsored by
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492
00:21:02,153 --> 00:21:05,890
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493
00:21:06,024 --> 00:21:10,428
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494
00:21:10,478 --> 00:21:15,028
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