Original subtitles

[TV static drones]

[bright tone]

[suspenseful music]

? ?

- [grunting]

? ?

[car door slams] - Nope! Nope.

We are not doing this again, motherfucker.

It's not gonna happen.

- Well, nice to see you too, Lori.

I've been working out. Doing fine. How about you?

- You are not my man

and have not been my man for a long time.

So stop trying to chase off every person

that I get involved with.

- Hold on, more trouble with your love life?

- Man, stay the fuck out of my life.

It's sad.

- Yet here you are, just in time to see me work out

and sweat with my shirt off.

Uh-huh.

Yeah, I know why you're here.

- That's a pass. This is disgusting.

- [chuckles]

Still, you can't seem to stay away.

Must be my animal magnetism or something.

- The next time anything like this happens,

I'm calling the cops, and that is a promise.

Don't come anywhere near me.

[dark choral music]

[car door slams, engine turning over]

? ?

- ? Praise ?

? ?

? Praise ?

- Kelvin?

[dramatic music]

Ahh-ah! [chuckles nervously]

It seems that all the ladders and platforms

and even the pirate ship's net have been removed,

so there's no way for me to climb up to you.

- This is what cowards do, Keefe.

They hide in their forts.

Respect my wishes.

- Well, everyone at Prism's pretty concerned.

Some fear that you are shook,

that you're not capable of carrying on

after the roundtable misstep.

That's wrong.

- They're not concerned.

They're disappointed because they realize

I'm not the brave leader they thought I was.

I'm a total failure.

Bye.

- Well, maybe if you come down, it'll make them feel better.

Plus, tonight's the final event

of the Top Christ Following Man,

the Night of Testimonies.

- I'm not going to win Top Christ Following Man, Keefe.

I'm nothing.

Lucky I don't jump out of here and break my freaking neck.

- I'd catch you. - No, you wouldn't.

My will is stronger than your strength, Keefe.

Go! Get out of here!

- Fine.

[dramatic choral music]

? ?

- Thank you, Dr. Watson.

That's enough pretzels.

My mouth is getting very dry.

Oh, well, thank you, Dr. Watson.

I didn't even have to ring the bell.

[monkey chatters]

I've started rewarding him with prepackaged fajita meat.

- Seems like Dr. Watson's really working out, huh?

- Judy, you have no idea.

His primate cognition is off the charts.

Mm, mm. [smooches]

I'm fairly certain his love language

is physical touch, so it's important

he gets wots of wub.

Mm.

[giggles]

- Oh, for real?

- [giggles]

Mm. [giggles]

- Stop.

- Now, Teenjus, you damn skipped school.

You're out wandering the desert.

And the devil is tempting your ass

to turn these stones into bread with your special powers.

And you hungry 'cause you been fasting.

So you tempted.

But you tell him off instead.

All right, let's go, now. Act good.

- Man shall not live by bread alone

but by every word that comes from the mouth of God, my dude.

- Hey, hey, hey. Why the fuck you mumbling?

You Teenjus.

Now, say it with authority, now.

Come on, let's go. [child whimpers]

It's OK, I know.

- Man shall not live by br-by bread alone but-

- Somebody come take these damn kids off my knee.

Here, get over here. Here, here.

Go on back. Go on back.

Maybe he'll be your daddy.

Here, stay there with them headphones on.

I guess I got to do everything around here.

Everything!

Now if you can't deliver,

maybe it's time I play Teenjus myself.

Go on. Sit down!

- But you're not a teen. - Yeah?

Well, you ain't really the devil, ding-a-ling.

It's called acting, dear boy.

It's a cinch.

- Sorry we're late.

Sola and I got caught in traffic.

- Y'all are real late!

Why don't you get a fucking Swatch

or whatever they sell in your goddamn country?

I got too many spinning plates to be stuck here babysitting.

- Hmm, babysitting? They're your kids.

- Yes, which is why I pay dummy over there

good money to watch them while I work.

Now, I'm busy. You know this.

- Well, it just-it seems like everything else

is more important than us.

- You-everybody take five!

Come over here.

Now, what you doing this for?

Don't you know how much I got going on?

- Yeah, I know.

I just-I worry about you working too much.

We-we don't need any more money.

I'm used to having none at all, so we got plenty enough for me.

- Well, we don't have enough for me.

Now, I been on this stardom train before.

And you got to get it while you can

before it all dries up.

- Is that all that matters to you?

- As a matter of fact, my job is very important to me

in this moment.

Now, stop being difficult, and take these kids

to go get some ice cream.

[somber music]

? ?

I ain't trying to fight with you.

I love you.

- I love you too, Baby Billy.

- Let me just get my paper straight once and for all.

And then we'll have enough.

? ?

Maybe.

? ?

Everybody back to one!

- ? Got the party super litty ?

? I done drunk a fifth of Henny ?

? Got the bitches getting naked ?

? Want me to motorboat some titties ?

? Got the party super litty ?

? Done drunk a fifth of Henny ?

[tires screech]

- Yo, what the hell are you doing?

I almost killed you.

[aerosol spraying]

- I can't feel my feet.

[laughter]

- Hey! Whoop, whoop!

Pontius, the fuck are you doing?

- What is that, Pontius?

Is that air duster spray?

- Getting dust off our boards.

- [mockingly] "Getting dust off our boards."

You're doing drugs, Pontius.

Frying your fucking brain doing inhalants.

Give me that shit right now, dumbass.

Fucking inhalants, really?

God, what's next, buddy, smoking banana peels,

doing fucking ketamines?

I've had enough of this shit.

You're gonna get your act in order, buddy, or I will.

And your little fucking burnout friends

have no business skating and grinding in a place of worship!

- Seriously, Pont, y'all are doing this

right outside the church?

[mockingly] - Ooh, the church.

[laughter] What happened to you, man?

You used to be cool.

Now you're like them-

a sellout.

Bite me, church boy.

- Hey, what the fuck is wrong with being a church boy?

Your old man's a church boy.

- Exactly.

That's how you're gonna end up, Gideon-

just like Dad.

[laughter]

- That's a nightmare, bro.

- You know what?

I'm trying to do the right thing, Pontius.

Maybe you should too.

- Look how they cut your balls off.

You think you're a preacher?

You ain't even good at it.

You suck.

Nice penny loafers, bro.

- Those are nice penny loafers.

Cut your balls off, how about that?

Jam them into your friends' mouths!

Fucking dickheads.

God damn it, I hate Pontius so much.

- I know. - Kelvin was right.

My sons don't respect me.

They think I'm a joke.

- Baby, no, that-stop.

It's just a teenage thing.

- No, it's not.

It's a me thing.

[dramatic music]

? ?

- I didn't just graduate from AFI.;

I'm a director.

You cut my "Teenjus" budget by 29%.

I can't make this show epic on a shoestring.

You got me shooting at a cement factory out in Goose Creek.

We should be shooting this motherfucker internationally.

We should be in Jordan right now in some Muslim tombs

doing this shit for real, now.

I wrote this fucker to be big.

This is "Teenjus"!

- Yeah, we know what the name of it is, OK?

You've told us over and over again.

What I don't understand is why the fuck it needs a big budget.

It's a teen show.

- It ain't no just teen show.

I'ma play Teenjus myself now.

- Wait, hang on.

How's a 100-year-old gonna play a teen?

- Well, ain't nobody 100.

- I ain't paying for this shit.

- The fuck you ain't!

Now, I need some fresh cash for reshoots.

I'm thinking 2 mil.

- [splutters] - [laughs]

2 million?

Man, Uncle Baby, get the fuck out of here with that shit.

- Where's Kelvin?

I can usually talk some sense into him.

- Fuck that little cocky baby.

- Yeah. - That's right.

They picked the wrong Gemstone

to be Top Christ Following Man, sadly.

- They sure did. Should have been me.

- They ain't fucking with you. You ain't Top Christ nothing.

- Stop all this infighting shit.

I need some good mojo in this family.

Now, on top of the 2 mil,

I'm also gonna need some cocaine.

- Cocaine? - Fuck is happening right now?

- Yes, I got a lot on my plate.

I need some gas to keep things cooking, now.

- You are too old to be fucking with cocaine.

That shit will kill you.

- It might kill you, how fat your trunk is.

But it ain't gonna kill me.

Come on, I ain't asking for the world here.

I'm just asking for a eight-ball and $2 million.

Won't somebody in this family think

about somebody else for once?

What would your mama think?

- About us not getting you cocaine?

- Don't you be sassing me, boy.

You know exactly what I'm talking about.

Over here battling your daddy, hating on your brother.

You won't even help out your sweet old Uncle Baby Billy.

You supposed to be a family.

[sauntering music] - [whistling]

? ?

Start acting like one!

- God.

- Is he on cocaine right now?

- Yes, dude.

? ?

[snake hissing]

[alligators snarling]

- Thank you for coming!

Welcome to the Milsap Family Gator Farm.

My name's Cobb.

I'm gonna introduce you to my favorite, favorite partner

in crime, Big Gus.

And when I ring this here bell,

it means chow time for Big Gus.

And it's about dinnertime right now.

[bell ringing] Get your cameras out.

Hold on to the little ones.

Gators are fierce predators, y'all.

You tread on their territory,

and God forbid you come too close...

[suspenseful music]

? ?

He'll bite you.

? ?

He will bite you real bad.

[indistinct chatter]

[alligator growls]

Get it, Gus.

[applause]

[sighs]

Thank you for visiting Milsap Gator Park.

- Thank you. - [chuckles]

- Thanks, Daddy.

- Hello, Cobb.

Long time.

- I thought that was you.

But the shades and the hat made me think

you didn't want to be bothered.

I know how you big-shot celebrities can be.

- I'm not gonna beat around the bush, Cobb.

No more giving Lori any trouble.

Do you understand?

- Actually, I don't understand. Trouble?

- Really cute. Look, Lori's with me now.

We don't give a damn how you feel.

- Ooh-hoo, ooh, ooh.

Oh, my, my, my, my.

Why don't you ask your girlfriend how many men

she's been with since our divorce?

[tense music]

You know what?

I wonder what Aimee-Leigh would think,

her best friend.

You know what surprises me about you, though?

I just figured you loved your dead wife more than that.

- [grunts]

- I think I still owe you a punch in the nose.

Now, you back your ass off!

Lori tell you what she was doing in Pigeon Forge?

Unfortunately, I found out through some friends

who live out that way.

Sick, nasty stuff.

Take a peek.

? ?

She's an escort, turning tricks.

You are just her latest meal ticket, my friend.

Watch that temper, Eli.

If you ain't buying nothing,

I'm gonna have to excuse myself, OK?

My next show starts real soon.

I'm the star.

? ?

Good reading.

[chuckles] Yeah.

? ?

- Ugh!

A fajita meat?

[scoffs]

[mysterious music]

? ?

[scoffs]

? ?

What the fuck is happening?

Damn it!

[monkey chatters]

? ?

You throw that fajita meat at me?

Hey, Dr. Watson, I'm talking to you.

? ?

[monkey chatters, item thuds]

Hey, you're gonna break the powder.

[monkey hisses]

[monkey growls]

- Bad monkey!

Nasty Dr. Watson!

[bell ringing]

? ?

God, Beej, you're washing his asshole?

Who's the service animal, you or him?

- We both help each other.

YouTube says to dab it with a wet washcloth.

Capuchins have a problem with anal leakage.

- BJ...[scoffs]

Being a caregiver, that's not something

that comes easy for me.

I'm not a service animal, but I have been here for you.

And I just feel like-

I don't know, I feel like this damn monkey's

getting all the credit.

- Baby, it's not a competition.

- Tell that to this little fuck face.

He's trying to maddog me right now.

I see you eyeballing me, OK?

Looking at me like a jealous bitch with no tits.

[monkey squeals]

- What has gotten into you?

- Just all of it, OK?

You, the monkey, my fucking daddy,

dumbass Kelvin.

- Have you talked with Kelvin?

- No, I have not.

Me and Jesse are, like, totally over him right now.

We're sick of him.

He's bratting off like he used to when he was little.

- Poor guy.

Vance Simkins is a self-righteous bigot

and a homophobe.

You should check on Kelvin.

- OK, I'm not interested, so thanks a lot.

- Dr. Watson thinks you should too.

- Well, then I'm especially not going to.

OK, Dr. Watson, I'm not doing what you fucking say.

[monkey squeals]

- I must tell you, I was there.

I was nervous... [chuckles]

Like a long-tailed cat

in a room full of rocking chairs.

[laughter]

- Jesse, how's your brother doing?

- Huh. How's your face doing?

You want to keep it?

- [chuckles] Getting rid of Kelvin

gives me a clear path to victory

for Top Christ Following Man.

He's my only real competition.

Plus, I love knowing me hurting him also hurts you.

It's honestly delicious.

- Well, that's where you're wrong.

I'm currently fighting with my baby bro,

so I no longer love him.

So you embarrassing him,

it actually helped me.

Thanks. - [chuckles]

Well, you can tell your baby bro

that I'm gonna ruthlessly dismantle him

at the final Top Christ Following Man proceedings.

That's if he even has the nards to show.

Mmm.

[classical music playing]

? ?

Tasty.

Gentlemen.

? ?

- So I know I talked about a lot of stuff today.

A lot of stuff.

But it is like my granddad says:

best to make your sermons about one thing.

I don't know why I didn't do that.

To sum it all up, love one another.

Bible talks a lot about that.

Let's do it. That feels like a slam dunk.

Let's do it.

I'm good if you guys are good.

You guys can keep hanging, or you can go, but it's over.

- What the fuck?

- God bless.

God bless you as well.

[indistinct chatter]

- Your speaking voice was more clear than it has been before.

And that is a good thing.

- Yeah, I thought your sermon was, like,

a little pedestrian, kind of boring.

Love one another?

It's, like, almost, like, one of the most basic

kind of sermons you can give.

But hey, that's just coming from me,

someone you don't see as a mentor figure.

So take what you will.

- Yeah.

- Baby, what's going on with you and Pontius?

- Oh, I don't know.

Maybe he's just unhappy, I guess.

I mean, he was kicked out of school.

He's living at home.

Probably feels like a loser.

- Well, he is a loser.

- Jesse.

- I tried being nice with him for a long time.

Now it's like, I just- I sort of keep my distance.

- Yeah, well, as much as Pontius is an asshole...

[sighs] You guys are brothers,

so you need to get along.

And as firstborn, it is your responsibility

to keep the peace so I don't have to hear your mom bitch.

- And because it's not very healthy to fight

with your family.

- Guys, I try to make it work, but, man, he's just a prick.

He says the worst stuff to me, the most awful things.

- Your brother knows you well enough to know

what's gonna hurt you.

- Well, that's the thing that sucks about having siblings.

They know all your weaknesses and can fuck you

right in the asshole with them.

Look at all the venom that Kelvin constantly spits at me.

- Kelvin's going through a lot right now, baby.

He doesn't mean anything that he's saying to you.

- Sweetheart, lovums, this is not about my shitty sibling.

This is about Gideon's shitty sibling, OK?

Let's keep it focused.

- Oh, well, maybe you could teach Gideon

how to be a good brother.

You know, like maybe a mentor figure would.

[pensive music]

- Mm.

? ?

I see what you did there, so...

[scoffs]

[sighs]

? ?

Kelvin?

It's me.

[whistles] Kelvin?

It's me, big bro-bro.

[toilet flushes]

What the hell are you doing here?

- Me? I'm merely shitting.

- You came all the way to Kelvin's house to take a shit?

- Yeah, dude.

I was driving near here, and I started turtle-heading.

- Mm-hmm. - Pfft, what you want me to do?

I'm not gonna go shit in the woods like an animal, Jesse.

What are you doing here?

- Came by to check in on him.

- OK, dude. Real talk?

Me too.

I didn't have to shit till I ate all his figs.

I can't stop thinking about how scared he looked on TV.

- Just clammed the fuck up.

Couldn't even do that little annoying eye-roll thing

he does.

- I know he can be a smart-alecky little bitch-

- Little fuck face of a boy.

- Totally, but... [sighs]

Kelvin's one of us, man.

- Mm.

Pshoo.

You thinking what I'm thinking?

- Mm, that I could be gay too?

- No, I was thinking that maybe we should help Kelvin.

- Ah, Jesus!

- My word, family visitors.

[dark choral music]

- Where's our brother?

- Let me show you.

Kelvin lives here now.

Kelvin.

I've tried for days.

There's no way to get up there.

- Hang on, homey. You tried for days?

- Mm-hmm.

I failed him.

I promised I wouldn't let anything bad happen,

and it did.

I trained my body for physical defenses.

But I neglected to learn anything

about roundtable discussions,

the most dangerous threat of them all.

- Is there really no way up there?

- Uh-uh. No.

- I think I might know a way.

- ? Suck my dick ?

? Suck my motherfucking dick ?

? Suck my dick ?

? Suck my motherfucking dick ?

? Suck my dick ?

? Suck my motherfucking dick ?

? Suck my dick ?

? Suck my motherfucking dick ?

[indistinct chatter]

? Suck, suck, suck ?

? Suck my motherfucking dick ?

? Suck my dick ?

? Suck my motherfucking dick ?

- Here. Turn that off, will you?

- Yeah.

[music stops]

- What do you want, Gideon?

- What's up, fellas?

Hey, how's it going?

'Sup? 'Sup?

Well, I came to ask if you guys would like

to join my prayer group.

[laughter]

Boy, we sure could use some young blood.

- Fuck off, Gideon.

[laughter]

- Well, hey, have you considered

you may have it wrong?

Maybe there's cool parts about church-

many cool parts that you just don't see.

- [babbles mockingly]

[laughter] - I'll tell you what.

If you guys join me for one Sunday,

just one, OK, I bet for fact

you'll want to be back the next Sunday too.

- You're being cheugy, bro.

Go back to Sunday school and start sucking

Daddy's dick some more.

[gagging] - [babbling]

[laughter]

[dramatic music]

- Kick rocks, kid.

- Daddy's boy. - Hey, Gideon. [laughs]

Oh, we're in trouble.

Oh, oh.

- If I had to make this sermon about one thing,

I guess it'd be that looks can be deceiving.

- [scoffs]

- Skateboard.

- Don't embarrass yourself.

- Pontius.

Skateboard.

- What the fuck you gonna do with that?

- [mockingly] "What you gonna do with"-

- Whoa! - He touched you, bro.

? ?

- This is where he eats shit.

- No way.

? ?

- [sighs]

? ?

[intense choral music]

? ?

- Oh! - Hell yeah, man!

? ?

- Whoa!

? ?

[thud echoes]

[skaters cheering]

- God has a whole lot more to offer than meets the eye.

Come by Sundays at 10:00.

That's what's up.

- That's what's up.

Fucking sick.

- Thanks, Ash. - Of course, man.

[birds chirping]

[engines whirring]

- Ding-dong, bitch!

You gonna invite us in?

[exciting music]

Motherfucker thinks he can hide from us.

Whoo-hoo! Whoa, shit!

Fuck! Stop it!

- Aw, shit! I got the- - Come down!

[power whirs down]

- Fuck.

- Take your sweet time.

- Kelvin, what the fuck are you doing up here?

- Hiding away in my tower,

safe from all the evils of the cruel world.

You were right, Jesse.

I am a token, nomination just to check a box.

- So, what, you're just gonna quit,

let Simkins win?

- I'm a failure, Jesse.

How am I supposed to go face the other

Top Christ Following Men?

How am I even supposed to go back to Prism?

I'm not a brave, strong leader.

I'm a-I'm a coward.

- Yes, Kelvin, you are a coward.

- Bitch! - Let me tell you something.

You're a mean coward.

Next time they come for you, dude, clap back.

You are so witty, man.

And you are extremely good at rips.

- That is so true.

You can rip with the best of them.

That's why you got to pick yourself up,

dust yourself off, and get your ass back in the game.

You want to prove yourself?

You shove it right back in Vance Simkins' face.

- You really think I deserve to be Top Christ Following Man?

I can go toe to toe with him?

- We know you can.

- You have to, regardless of whether you deserve it or not.

- Yeah, but you think I deserve to, right?

- Regardless, you have to win this year.

- [grunts]

- We just put in that door, Keefe.

[indistinct chatter]

- Darling, why ain't you eating?

- I talked to Cobb.

- What did he have to say? [chuckles]

I'm sure all kinds of stuff about me.

- He did, some things I wanted to ask myself.

- Mm. - [clears throat]

Most obviously about the escort service

in Pigeon Forge.

- Oh, fucking Cobb.

[sighs]

- He showed me the ad.

- Hm, yeah, Pigeon Forge is really big

on the 65-year-old hookers.

They just cannot get enough.

Eli, he faked those ads to try to smear me

or embarrass me or, I-

who knows?

But hey, worked on the last guy too.

So you really think I would do that?

- Look, I know you got money problems.

I ran a credit check.

- I guess you really are something.

- Well, are you not broke?

You did declare bankruptcy last year.

- Have I ever asked you for one cent?

You know, Aimee-Leigh used to tell me

how much money mattered to you,

and I thought she was exaggerating.

- You're crossing a line.

- I think you crossed it first,

literally calling me a whore.

- Maybe I wanted something so bad,

I couldn't see straight.

- Yeah, well, that's funny, because

I am having the exact same goddamn realization.

There you go.

[tense music]

- [sighs]

? ?

[indistinct chatter]

- Just a-[clicks tongue]

After I win, I'll throw you a wink.

- So apparently, we are down a man, Kelvin Gemstone.

- [scoffs]

He's probably in a pink robe, hiding in his mansion.

[laughter] - Not so fast.

- ? Tough luck, motherfuckers ?

? Tough luck, motherfuckers ?

- How could I miss the big reveal of the TCFM?

They might call my name.

- Oh, they are definitely gonna call his name.

- Not a chance.

This honor recognizes the ideal Christian man.

Is Little Brother Gemstone even a man at all?

- Vance, how 'bout I slap the skin off your fucking face?

- Jesse, it's OK.

I can answer the question.

Vance, I'm man enough to already have my makeup applied

so I can jockey for center position onstage.

[laughs wickedly]

- You just need a hug. - Get out of here!

[cheers and applause]

[dramatic music playing]

- Good evening,

and welcome to the final night

of the Top Christ Following Man,

where the winner will be crowned and named our top man.

This is the Night of Testimony!

[cheers and applause]

Testimony is crucial to defining a pastor.

What brought them to Christ?

A testament to who these top Christian men truly are.

And these men tonight will be voted upon

by a panel of international judges

and by you at home.

Just call or text the above number

to place your vote for your favorite.

Fees will be applied.

[applause]

? ?

- At that moment, in that bathtub

with alcohol and Valium filling my veins...

- And I pulled myself

from the twisted wreckage of that van.

Everyone else inside: dead on impact...

- Both my parents died in that plane crash.

And the moment it happened, the Lord came to me and said,

Vance, you and your siblings, led by you,

will build an empire that honors me.

'Me' is Jesus.

- But not one scratch, scrape, or drop of blood on me.

- And we did it as a family...

- I knew right then and there my path was set.

- A multiracial family, no less...

- That's when I knew...

- I was to be His servant.

- Multiracial.

God bless to you all.

God bless to your families.

- I have been blessed by God.

- God had chosen me...

- May God bless you.

- To be the Top Christ Following Man.

- And God bless to the Top Christ Following Man families.

[applause]

- Thank you.

A fascinating and touching testimony.

It is all about family.

[applause continues]

And now on to our next Top Christ Following Man.

Kelvin Gemstone, it's time to testify.

[footsteps echoing]

- Truth.

You see, that's actually what I want to talk about tonight.

See, I was the youngest member of my family to become

a preacher-at age 12.

They said I was special, but I just felt different.

I spent my whole life trying not to be.

Until I realized...

God sees the real me.

In fact, he made the real me.

And if the real me is good enough for God,

then it's good enough for everyone.

- Amen. - Amen.

- Different is awesome,

the proof of God's work, the-

the range of his talents.

So I came here tonight not to grovel for accolades

but to tell the truth about who I am and what I'm about.

[dramatic choral music]

My name is Kelvin Gemstone.

And I'm a-a different kind of man.

? ?

A beautiful man.

? ?

A gay Top Christ Following Man.

And if that's not good enough for this award,

then I don't need it.

[audience murmuring]

- Uh-

[somber music]

- He's walking off.

- Yeah, he's just going, dude.

- He's walking off.

- Phone lines are still open.

? ?

- Shit, Kelvin, you just walked right the fuck offstage.

- Huge brass balls to do that

but not really part of the plan.

Now Chuckle Fuck's definitely gonna win.

- It doesn't matter, Jesse.

It's a pointless award, like you said.

- Well, yeah, that was when I didn't get nominated.

But you're this close, man.

- Hey, Mr. Gemstone.

- Yes?

- No, sorry, the other Mr. Gemstone.

Mr. Kelvin, if you could, we need you back inside.

I think you...

[radio beeps] Won.

- [gasps]

- Oh, my-

[The Redwalls' "Colorful Revolution"]

- And this year's Top Christ Following Man is...

Kelvin Gemstone!

- ? A sad little boy sat on a soapbox in Market Square ?

? ?

? He'd given words for free to all the people there ?

? ?

? And though the song is the same ?

? Doesn't matter who plays ?

? It's all right ?

? ?

? We were singing ?

? Step right up for a colorful revolution ?

? ?

? Now a bridge is the word for the war getting underway ?

? ?

? But you can't if you won't ?

? And you could, but you don't want to stay ?

? Hey ?

? And the American mind in its prime ?

? Has got nothing to say ?

? ?

? Yeah, but it's your American right ?

? To throw your vote away ?

? ?

? And we be singing ?

? Step right up for a colorful revolution ?

? ?

? Step right up ?

? It's the sound of the institution ?

? ?

? Yeah, oh, no, no words you know ?

? You know nothing today ?

? Hey ?

? But when it comes to get you ?

? Then what will you say ?

? I wish the night was young ?

? Hey ?

? Step right up for a colorful revolution ?

? ?

[bright tone]

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