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1
00:00:00,583 --> 00:00:02,209
[TV static drones]
2
00:00:02,210 --> 00:00:04,920
[bright tone]
3
00:00:04,921 --> 00:00:08,549
[suspenseful music]
4
00:00:08,550 --> 00:00:14,263
? ?
5
00:00:14,264 --> 00:00:17,266
- [grunting]
6
00:00:17,267 --> 00:00:23,772
? ?
7
00:00:23,773 --> 00:00:26,400
[car door slams]
- Nope! Nope.
8
00:00:26,401 --> 00:00:28,902
We are not doing this
again, motherfucker.
9
00:00:28,903 --> 00:00:30,571
It's not gonna happen.
10
00:00:30,572 --> 00:00:33,282
- Well, nice to see
you too, Lori.
11
00:00:33,283 --> 00:00:35,951
I've been working out.
Doing fine. How about you?
12
00:00:35,952 --> 00:00:37,745
- You are not my man
13
00:00:37,746 --> 00:00:40,581
and have not been my man
for a long time.
14
00:00:40,582 --> 00:00:43,125
So stop trying
to chase off every person
15
00:00:43,126 --> 00:00:44,960
that I get involved with.
16
00:00:44,961 --> 00:00:47,463
- Hold on, more trouble
with your love life?
17
00:00:47,464 --> 00:00:50,591
- Man, stay the fuck
out of my life.
18
00:00:50,592 --> 00:00:52,301
It's sad.
19
00:00:52,302 --> 00:00:56,346
- Yet here you are,
just in time to see me work out
20
00:00:56,347 --> 00:00:58,766
and sweat with my shirt off.
21
00:00:58,767 --> 00:01:00,267
Uh-huh.
22
00:01:00,268 --> 00:01:01,977
Yeah, I know why you're here.
23
00:01:01,978 --> 00:01:04,563
- That's a pass.
This is disgusting.
24
00:01:04,564 --> 00:01:06,565
- [chuckles]
25
00:01:06,566 --> 00:01:08,901
Still, you can't seem
to stay away.
26
00:01:08,902 --> 00:01:11,653
Must be my animal magnetism
or something.
27
00:01:11,654 --> 00:01:15,324
- The next time
anything like this happens,
28
00:01:15,325 --> 00:01:18,660
I'm calling the cops,
and that is a promise.
29
00:01:18,661 --> 00:01:23,040
Don't come anywhere near me.
30
00:01:23,041 --> 00:01:26,043
[dark choral music]
31
00:01:26,044 --> 00:01:29,046
[car door slams,
engine turning over]
32
00:01:29,047 --> 00:01:31,840
? ?
33
00:01:31,841 --> 00:01:35,427
- ? Praise ?
34
00:01:35,428 --> 00:01:38,764
? ?
35
00:01:38,765 --> 00:01:42,477
? Praise ?
36
00:01:49,317 --> 00:01:51,193
- Kelvin?
37
00:01:51,194 --> 00:01:53,529
[dramatic music]
38
00:01:53,530 --> 00:01:56,740
Ahh-ah!
[chuckles nervously]
39
00:01:56,741 --> 00:01:59,368
It seems that all
the ladders and platforms
40
00:01:59,369 --> 00:02:02,788
and even the pirate ship's net
have been removed,
41
00:02:02,789 --> 00:02:07,501
so there's no way for me
to climb up to you.
42
00:02:07,502 --> 00:02:09,545
- This is what cowards do,
Keefe.
43
00:02:09,546 --> 00:02:11,547
They hide in their forts.
44
00:02:11,548 --> 00:02:14,216
Respect my wishes.
45
00:02:14,217 --> 00:02:17,719
- Well, everyone at Prism's
pretty concerned.
46
00:02:17,720 --> 00:02:19,596
Some fear that you are shook,
47
00:02:19,597 --> 00:02:21,557
that you're not capable
of carrying on
48
00:02:21,558 --> 00:02:22,724
after the roundtable misstep.
49
00:02:22,725 --> 00:02:25,602
That's wrong.
50
00:02:25,603 --> 00:02:27,396
- They're not concerned.
51
00:02:27,397 --> 00:02:29,898
They're disappointed
because they realize
52
00:02:29,899 --> 00:02:33,402
I'm not the brave leader
they thought I was.
53
00:02:33,403 --> 00:02:35,362
I'm a total failure.
54
00:02:35,363 --> 00:02:36,655
Bye.
55
00:02:36,656 --> 00:02:38,991
- Well, maybe if you come down,
it'll make them feel better.
56
00:02:38,992 --> 00:02:41,326
Plus, tonight's the final event
57
00:02:41,327 --> 00:02:42,703
of the
Top Christ Following Man,
58
00:02:42,704 --> 00:02:45,205
the Night of Testimonies.
59
00:02:45,206 --> 00:02:48,542
- I'm not going to win Top
Christ Following Man, Keefe.
60
00:02:48,543 --> 00:02:50,127
I'm nothing.
61
00:02:50,128 --> 00:02:52,754
Lucky I don't jump out of here
and break my freaking neck.
62
00:02:52,755 --> 00:02:54,464
- I'd catch you.
- No, you wouldn't.
63
00:02:54,465 --> 00:02:56,925
My will is stronger
than your strength, Keefe.
64
00:02:56,926 --> 00:02:58,760
Go!
Get out of here!
65
00:02:58,761 --> 00:03:00,387
- Fine.
66
00:03:00,388 --> 00:03:03,390
[dramatic choral music]
67
00:03:03,391 --> 00:03:05,017
? ?
68
00:03:05,018 --> 00:03:07,102
- Thank you, Dr. Watson.
69
00:03:07,103 --> 00:03:08,604
That's enough pretzels.
70
00:03:08,605 --> 00:03:11,273
My mouth is getting very dry.
71
00:03:11,274 --> 00:03:14,276
Oh, well, thank you,
Dr. Watson.
72
00:03:14,277 --> 00:03:16,236
I didn't even have
to ring the bell.
73
00:03:16,237 --> 00:03:17,613
[monkey chatters]
74
00:03:17,614 --> 00:03:20,282
I've started rewarding him
with prepackaged fajita meat.
75
00:03:20,283 --> 00:03:23,327
- Seems like Dr. Watson's
really working out, huh?
76
00:03:23,328 --> 00:03:24,453
- Judy, you have no idea.
77
00:03:24,454 --> 00:03:26,788
His primate cognition
is off the charts.
78
00:03:26,789 --> 00:03:29,458
Mm, mm.
[smooches]
79
00:03:29,459 --> 00:03:30,751
I'm fairly certain
his love language
80
00:03:30,752 --> 00:03:32,586
is physical touch,
so it's important
81
00:03:32,587 --> 00:03:34,755
he gets wots of wub.
82
00:03:34,756 --> 00:03:36,256
Mm.
83
00:03:36,257 --> 00:03:37,257
[giggles]
84
00:03:37,258 --> 00:03:39,134
- Oh, for real?
85
00:03:39,135 --> 00:03:41,261
- [giggles]
86
00:03:41,262 --> 00:03:42,387
Mm. [giggles]
87
00:03:42,388 --> 00:03:44,598
- Stop.
88
00:03:44,599 --> 00:03:48,310
- Now, Teenjus,
you damn skipped school.
89
00:03:48,311 --> 00:03:49,728
You're out
wandering the desert.
90
00:03:49,729 --> 00:03:51,980
And the devil
is tempting your ass
91
00:03:51,981 --> 00:03:55,317
to turn these stones into bread
with your special powers.
92
00:03:55,318 --> 00:03:57,778
And you hungry
'cause you been fasting.
93
00:03:57,779 --> 00:03:59,154
So you tempted.
94
00:03:59,155 --> 00:04:00,948
But you tell him off instead.
95
00:04:00,949 --> 00:04:03,784
All right, let's go, now.
Act good.
96
00:04:03,785 --> 00:04:05,035
- Man shall not live
by bread alone
97
00:04:05,036 --> 00:04:09,331
but by every word that comes
from the mouth of God, my dude.
98
00:04:09,332 --> 00:04:11,166
- Hey, hey, hey.
Why the fuck you mumbling?
99
00:04:11,167 --> 00:04:12,167
You Teenjus.
100
00:04:12,168 --> 00:04:13,835
Now, say it with authority, now.
101
00:04:13,836 --> 00:04:14,920
Come on, let's go.
[child whimpers]
102
00:04:14,921 --> 00:04:17,339
It's OK, I know.
103
00:04:17,340 --> 00:04:20,467
- Man shall not live
by br-by bread alone but-
104
00:04:20,468 --> 00:04:22,844
- Somebody come take
these damn kids off my knee.
105
00:04:22,845 --> 00:04:24,304
Here, get over here.
Here, here.
106
00:04:24,305 --> 00:04:25,722
Go on back.
Go on back.
107
00:04:25,723 --> 00:04:27,557
Maybe he'll be your daddy.
108
00:04:27,558 --> 00:04:29,518
Here, stay there
with them headphones on.
109
00:04:29,519 --> 00:04:31,019
I guess I got to do
everything around here.
110
00:04:31,020 --> 00:04:32,105
Everything!
111
00:04:35,900 --> 00:04:37,276
Now if you can't deliver,
112
00:04:37,277 --> 00:04:39,194
maybe it's time
I play Teenjus myself.
113
00:04:39,195 --> 00:04:41,196
Go on.
Sit down!
114
00:04:41,197 --> 00:04:43,282
- But you're not a teen.
- Yeah?
115
00:04:43,283 --> 00:04:45,867
Well, you ain't really
the devil, ding-a-ling.
116
00:04:45,868 --> 00:04:48,203
It's called acting, dear boy.
117
00:04:48,204 --> 00:04:49,204
It's a cinch.
118
00:04:49,205 --> 00:04:50,372
- Sorry we're late.
119
00:04:50,373 --> 00:04:52,165
Sola and I got caught
in traffic.
120
00:04:52,166 --> 00:04:53,208
- Y'all are real late!
121
00:04:53,209 --> 00:04:55,377
Why don't you get
a fucking Swatch
122
00:04:55,378 --> 00:04:58,046
or whatever they sell
in your goddamn country?
123
00:04:58,047 --> 00:05:00,716
I got too many spinning plates
to be stuck here babysitting.
124
00:05:00,717 --> 00:05:03,176
- Hmm, babysitting?
They're your kids.
125
00:05:03,177 --> 00:05:04,886
- Yes, which is why I pay
dummy over there
126
00:05:04,887 --> 00:05:06,596
good money
to watch them while I work.
127
00:05:06,597 --> 00:05:08,724
Now, I'm busy.
You know this.
128
00:05:08,725 --> 00:05:11,226
- Well, it just-it seems
like everything else
129
00:05:11,227 --> 00:05:12,728
is more important than us.
130
00:05:12,729 --> 00:05:16,064
- You-everybody take five!
131
00:05:16,065 --> 00:05:17,442
Come over here.
132
00:05:21,321 --> 00:05:23,739
Now, what you doing this for?
133
00:05:23,740 --> 00:05:25,198
Don't you know
how much I got going on?
134
00:05:25,199 --> 00:05:26,241
- Yeah, I know.
135
00:05:26,242 --> 00:05:30,579
I just-I worry about
you working too much.
136
00:05:30,580 --> 00:05:33,582
We-we don't need
any more money.
137
00:05:33,583 --> 00:05:36,585
I'm used to having none at all,
so we got plenty enough for me.
138
00:05:36,586 --> 00:05:38,754
- Well, we don't
have enough for me.
139
00:05:38,755 --> 00:05:41,256
Now, I been on this
stardom train before.
140
00:05:41,257 --> 00:05:43,675
And you got to get it
while you can
141
00:05:43,676 --> 00:05:46,178
before it all dries up.
142
00:05:46,179 --> 00:05:48,347
- Is that all
that matters to you?
143
00:05:48,348 --> 00:05:50,891
- As a matter of fact,
my job is very important to me
144
00:05:50,892 --> 00:05:52,517
in this moment.
145
00:05:52,518 --> 00:05:54,728
Now, stop being difficult,
and take these kids
146
00:05:54,729 --> 00:05:56,063
to go get some ice cream.
147
00:05:56,064 --> 00:05:59,441
[somber music]
148
00:05:59,442 --> 00:06:01,568
? ?
149
00:06:01,569 --> 00:06:04,321
I ain't trying
to fight with you.
150
00:06:04,322 --> 00:06:05,572
I love you.
151
00:06:05,573 --> 00:06:08,450
- I love you too, Baby Billy.
152
00:06:08,451 --> 00:06:13,372
- Let me just get my paper
straight once and for all.
153
00:06:13,373 --> 00:06:16,041
And then we'll have enough.
154
00:06:16,042 --> 00:06:18,627
? ?
155
00:06:18,628 --> 00:06:20,420
Maybe.
156
00:06:20,421 --> 00:06:22,881
? ?
157
00:06:22,882 --> 00:06:25,133
Everybody back to one!
158
00:06:25,134 --> 00:06:26,510
- ? Got the party
super litty ?
159
00:06:26,511 --> 00:06:28,136
? I done drunk a fifth
of Henny ?
160
00:06:28,137 --> 00:06:29,805
? Got the bitches
getting naked ?
161
00:06:29,806 --> 00:06:31,973
? Want me to motorboat
some titties ?
162
00:06:31,974 --> 00:06:33,433
? Got the party
super litty ?
163
00:06:33,434 --> 00:06:36,436
? Done drunk a fifth
of Henny ?
164
00:06:36,437 --> 00:06:37,938
[tires screech]
165
00:06:37,939 --> 00:06:39,689
- Yo, what the hell
are you doing?
166
00:06:39,690 --> 00:06:40,816
I almost killed you.
167
00:06:40,817 --> 00:06:41,900
[aerosol spraying]
168
00:06:41,901 --> 00:06:43,443
- I can't feel my feet.
169
00:06:43,444 --> 00:06:46,988
[laughter]
170
00:06:46,989 --> 00:06:48,407
- Hey!
Whoop, whoop!
171
00:06:48,408 --> 00:06:50,242
Pontius, the fuck
are you doing?
172
00:06:50,243 --> 00:06:51,243
- What is that, Pontius?
173
00:06:51,244 --> 00:06:53,161
Is that air duster spray?
174
00:06:53,162 --> 00:06:54,496
- Getting dust off our boards.
175
00:06:54,497 --> 00:06:55,664
- [mockingly]
"Getting dust off our boards."
176
00:06:55,665 --> 00:06:57,666
You're doing drugs, Pontius.
177
00:06:57,667 --> 00:06:59,501
Frying your fucking brain
doing inhalants.
178
00:06:59,502 --> 00:07:02,170
Give me that shit
right now, dumbass.
179
00:07:02,171 --> 00:07:04,005
Fucking inhalants, really?
180
00:07:04,006 --> 00:07:07,008
God, what's next, buddy,
smoking banana peels,
181
00:07:07,009 --> 00:07:09,302
doing fucking ketamines?
182
00:07:09,303 --> 00:07:10,512
I've had enough of this shit.
183
00:07:10,513 --> 00:07:12,848
You're gonna get your act
in order, buddy, or I will.
184
00:07:12,849 --> 00:07:14,516
And your little
fucking burnout friends
185
00:07:14,517 --> 00:07:18,103
have no business skating and
grinding in a place of worship!
186
00:07:18,104 --> 00:07:19,312
- Seriously, Pont,
y'all are doing this
187
00:07:19,313 --> 00:07:20,605
right outside the church?
188
00:07:20,606 --> 00:07:22,315
[mockingly]
- Ooh, the church.
189
00:07:22,316 --> 00:07:24,359
[laughter]
What happened to you, man?
190
00:07:24,360 --> 00:07:26,278
You used to be cool.
191
00:07:26,279 --> 00:07:28,321
Now you're like them-
192
00:07:28,322 --> 00:07:29,531
a sellout.
193
00:07:29,532 --> 00:07:31,199
Bite me, church boy.
194
00:07:31,200 --> 00:07:34,035
- Hey, what the fuck is wrong
with being a church boy?
195
00:07:34,036 --> 00:07:35,579
Your old man's a church boy.
196
00:07:35,580 --> 00:07:36,580
- Exactly.
197
00:07:36,581 --> 00:07:39,082
That's how you're gonna
end up, Gideon-
198
00:07:39,083 --> 00:07:40,333
just like Dad.
199
00:07:40,334 --> 00:07:42,544
[laughter]
200
00:07:42,545 --> 00:07:44,337
- That's a nightmare, bro.
201
00:07:44,338 --> 00:07:45,338
- You know what?
202
00:07:45,339 --> 00:07:46,339
I'm trying to do
the right thing, Pontius.
203
00:07:46,340 --> 00:07:47,340
Maybe you should too.
204
00:07:47,341 --> 00:07:49,468
- Look how they
cut your balls off.
205
00:07:49,469 --> 00:07:51,052
You think you're a preacher?
206
00:07:51,053 --> 00:07:52,888
You ain't even good at it.
207
00:07:52,889 --> 00:07:54,514
You suck.
208
00:07:54,515 --> 00:07:58,143
Nice penny loafers, bro.
209
00:07:58,144 --> 00:08:01,021
- Those are nice penny loafers.
210
00:08:01,022 --> 00:08:02,939
Cut your balls off,
how about that?
211
00:08:02,940 --> 00:08:05,901
Jam them
into your friends' mouths!
212
00:08:05,902 --> 00:08:08,069
Fucking dickheads.
213
00:08:08,070 --> 00:08:09,905
God damn it,
I hate Pontius so much.
214
00:08:09,906 --> 00:08:12,532
- I know.
- Kelvin was right.
215
00:08:12,533 --> 00:08:13,825
My sons don't respect me.
216
00:08:13,826 --> 00:08:14,826
They think I'm a joke.
217
00:08:14,827 --> 00:08:16,369
- Baby, no, that-stop.
218
00:08:16,370 --> 00:08:17,704
It's just a teenage thing.
219
00:08:17,705 --> 00:08:19,581
- No, it's not.
220
00:08:19,582 --> 00:08:20,874
It's a me thing.
221
00:08:20,875 --> 00:08:23,877
[dramatic music]
222
00:08:23,878 --> 00:08:30,968
? ?
223
00:08:43,105 --> 00:08:45,941
- I didn't just graduate
from AFI.;
224
00:08:45,942 --> 00:08:47,108
I'm a director.
225
00:08:47,109 --> 00:08:50,445
You cut my "Teenjus"
budget by 29%.
226
00:08:50,446 --> 00:08:54,574
I can't make this show epic
on a shoestring.
227
00:08:54,575 --> 00:08:58,078
You got me shooting at a cement
factory out in Goose Creek.
228
00:08:58,079 --> 00:09:01,289
We should be shooting this
motherfucker internationally.
229
00:09:01,290 --> 00:09:04,793
We should be in Jordan
right now in some Muslim tombs
230
00:09:04,794 --> 00:09:06,962
doing this shit for real, now.
231
00:09:06,963 --> 00:09:10,298
I wrote this fucker to be big.
232
00:09:10,299 --> 00:09:12,968
This is "Teenjus"!
233
00:09:12,969 --> 00:09:15,929
- Yeah, we know
what the name of it is, OK?
234
00:09:15,930 --> 00:09:18,265
You've told us
over and over again.
235
00:09:18,266 --> 00:09:21,059
What I don't understand is why
the fuck it needs a big budget.
236
00:09:21,060 --> 00:09:22,602
It's a teen show.
237
00:09:22,603 --> 00:09:25,647
- It ain't no just teen show.
238
00:09:25,648 --> 00:09:27,399
I'ma play Teenjus myself now.
239
00:09:27,400 --> 00:09:28,441
- Wait, hang on.
240
00:09:28,442 --> 00:09:30,443
How's a 100-year-old
gonna play a teen?
241
00:09:30,444 --> 00:09:31,903
- Well, ain't nobody 100.
242
00:09:31,904 --> 00:09:33,280
- I ain't paying for this shit.
243
00:09:33,281 --> 00:09:34,823
- The fuck you ain't!
244
00:09:34,824 --> 00:09:37,826
Now, I need some fresh cash
for reshoots.
245
00:09:37,827 --> 00:09:39,160
I'm thinking 2 mil.
246
00:09:39,161 --> 00:09:40,829
- [splutters]
- [laughs]
247
00:09:40,830 --> 00:09:42,497
2 million?
248
00:09:42,498 --> 00:09:45,166
Man, Uncle Baby, get the fuck
out of here with that shit.
249
00:09:45,167 --> 00:09:46,543
- Where's Kelvin?
250
00:09:46,544 --> 00:09:48,044
I can usually talk
some sense into him.
251
00:09:48,045 --> 00:09:49,713
- Fuck that little cocky baby.
252
00:09:49,714 --> 00:09:51,172
- Yeah.
- That's right.
253
00:09:51,173 --> 00:09:52,674
They picked the wrong Gemstone
254
00:09:52,675 --> 00:09:54,843
to be Top Christ Following Man, sadly.
255
00:09:54,844 --> 00:09:56,636
- They sure did.
Should have been me.
256
00:09:56,637 --> 00:09:58,555
- They ain't fucking with you.
You ain't Top Christ nothing.
257
00:09:58,556 --> 00:10:00,682
- Stop all this
infighting shit.
258
00:10:00,683 --> 00:10:03,476
I need some good mojo
in this family.
259
00:10:03,477 --> 00:10:04,686
Now, on top of the 2 mil,
260
00:10:04,687 --> 00:10:06,313
I'm also gonna need
some cocaine.
261
00:10:06,314 --> 00:10:07,981
- Cocaine?
- Fuck is happening right now?
262
00:10:07,982 --> 00:10:09,441
- Yes, I got a lot on my plate.
263
00:10:09,442 --> 00:10:11,484
I need some gas to keep
things cooking, now.
264
00:10:11,485 --> 00:10:13,945
- You are too old to be
fucking with cocaine.
265
00:10:13,946 --> 00:10:15,113
That shit will kill you.
266
00:10:15,114 --> 00:10:17,824
- It might kill you,
how fat your trunk is.
267
00:10:17,825 --> 00:10:19,367
But it ain't gonna kill me.
268
00:10:19,368 --> 00:10:21,995
Come on, I ain't asking
for the world here.
269
00:10:21,996 --> 00:10:26,374
I'm just asking for
a eight-ball and $2 million.
270
00:10:26,375 --> 00:10:27,834
Won't somebody
in this family think
271
00:10:27,835 --> 00:10:29,836
about somebody else for once?
272
00:10:29,837 --> 00:10:31,171
What would your mama think?
273
00:10:31,172 --> 00:10:33,632
- About us not
getting you cocaine?
274
00:10:33,633 --> 00:10:35,717
- Don't you be sassing me, boy.
275
00:10:35,718 --> 00:10:38,928
You know exactly
what I'm talking about.
276
00:10:38,929 --> 00:10:43,058
Over here battling your daddy,
hating on your brother.
277
00:10:43,059 --> 00:10:47,604
You won't even help out your
sweet old Uncle Baby Billy.
278
00:10:47,605 --> 00:10:49,773
You supposed to be a family.
279
00:10:49,774 --> 00:10:52,859
[sauntering music]
- [whistling]
280
00:10:52,860 --> 00:10:55,737
? ?
281
00:10:55,738 --> 00:10:58,406
Start acting like one!
282
00:10:58,407 --> 00:10:59,741
- God.
283
00:10:59,742 --> 00:11:01,117
- Is he on cocaine right now?
284
00:11:01,118 --> 00:11:02,577
- Yes, dude.
285
00:11:02,578 --> 00:11:06,247
? ?
286
00:11:06,248 --> 00:11:07,666
[snake hissing]
287
00:11:07,667 --> 00:11:09,167
[alligators snarling]
288
00:11:09,168 --> 00:11:10,335
- Thank you for coming!
289
00:11:10,336 --> 00:11:12,379
Welcome to the Milsap Family
Gator Farm.
290
00:11:12,380 --> 00:11:14,381
My name's Cobb.
291
00:11:14,382 --> 00:11:18,593
I'm gonna introduce you to
my favorite, favorite partner
292
00:11:18,594 --> 00:11:22,055
in crime, Big Gus.
293
00:11:22,056 --> 00:11:25,100
And when I ring this here bell,
294
00:11:25,101 --> 00:11:28,687
it means chow time for Big Gus.
295
00:11:28,688 --> 00:11:32,607
And it's about dinnertime
right now.
296
00:11:32,608 --> 00:11:34,192
[bell ringing]
Get your cameras out.
297
00:11:34,193 --> 00:11:35,735
Hold on to the little ones.
298
00:11:35,736 --> 00:11:37,821
Gators are fierce
predators, y'all.
299
00:11:37,822 --> 00:11:40,240
You tread
on their territory,
300
00:11:40,241 --> 00:11:43,576
and God forbid
you come too close...
301
00:11:43,577 --> 00:11:46,788
[suspenseful music]
302
00:11:46,789 --> 00:11:49,666
? ?
303
00:11:49,667 --> 00:11:51,668
He'll bite you.
304
00:11:51,669 --> 00:11:53,795
? ?
305
00:11:53,796 --> 00:11:57,841
He will bite you real bad.
306
00:11:57,842 --> 00:11:59,759
[indistinct chatter]
307
00:11:59,760 --> 00:12:02,805
[alligator growls]
308
00:12:04,348 --> 00:12:06,641
Get it, Gus.
309
00:12:06,642 --> 00:12:10,104
[applause]
310
00:12:11,981 --> 00:12:13,774
[sighs]
311
00:12:15,651 --> 00:12:17,819
Thank you for visiting
Milsap Gator Park.
312
00:12:17,820 --> 00:12:19,904
- Thank you.
- [chuckles]
313
00:12:19,905 --> 00:12:21,823
- Thanks, Daddy.
314
00:12:21,824 --> 00:12:24,242
- Hello, Cobb.
315
00:12:24,243 --> 00:12:25,410
Long time.
316
00:12:25,411 --> 00:12:27,120
- I thought that was you.
317
00:12:27,121 --> 00:12:28,955
But the shades and the hat
made me think
318
00:12:28,956 --> 00:12:30,999
you didn't want
to be bothered.
319
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,667
I know how you big-shot
celebrities can be.
320
00:12:32,668 --> 00:12:34,252
- I'm not gonna beat
around the bush, Cobb.
321
00:12:34,253 --> 00:12:36,588
No more giving Lori
any trouble.
322
00:12:36,589 --> 00:12:38,256
Do you understand?
323
00:12:38,257 --> 00:12:40,550
- Actually, I don't understand.
Trouble?
324
00:12:40,551 --> 00:12:42,677
- Really cute.
Look, Lori's with me now.
325
00:12:42,678 --> 00:12:44,637
We don't give a damn
how you feel.
326
00:12:44,638 --> 00:12:47,307
- Ooh-hoo, ooh, ooh.
327
00:12:47,308 --> 00:12:49,017
Oh, my, my, my, my.
328
00:12:49,018 --> 00:12:50,894
Why don't you ask
your girlfriend how many men
329
00:12:50,895 --> 00:12:53,855
she's been with
since our divorce?
330
00:12:53,856 --> 00:12:55,690
[tense music]
331
00:12:55,691 --> 00:12:56,691
You know what?
332
00:12:56,692 --> 00:12:58,193
I wonder what Aimee-Leigh
would think,
333
00:12:58,194 --> 00:12:59,819
her best friend.
334
00:12:59,820 --> 00:13:02,197
You know what surprises me
about you, though?
335
00:13:02,198 --> 00:13:04,824
I just figured you loved
your dead wife more than that.
336
00:13:04,825 --> 00:13:06,701
- [grunts]
337
00:13:06,702 --> 00:13:08,661
- I think I still owe you
a punch in the nose.
338
00:13:08,662 --> 00:13:11,956
Now, you back your ass off!
339
00:13:11,957 --> 00:13:15,168
Lori tell you what she
was doing in Pigeon Forge?
340
00:13:15,169 --> 00:13:16,961
Unfortunately, I found out
through some friends
341
00:13:16,962 --> 00:13:18,880
who live out that way.
342
00:13:18,881 --> 00:13:22,133
Sick, nasty stuff.
343
00:13:22,134 --> 00:13:23,134
Take a peek.
344
00:13:23,135 --> 00:13:26,221
? ?
345
00:13:26,222 --> 00:13:29,224
She's an escort,
turning tricks.
346
00:13:29,225 --> 00:13:33,728
You are just her latest
meal ticket, my friend.
347
00:13:33,729 --> 00:13:36,815
Watch that temper, Eli.
348
00:13:36,816 --> 00:13:38,525
If you ain't buying nothing,
349
00:13:38,526 --> 00:13:40,735
I'm gonna have
to excuse myself, OK?
350
00:13:40,736 --> 00:13:44,864
My next show starts real soon.
351
00:13:44,865 --> 00:13:46,407
I'm the star.
352
00:13:46,408 --> 00:13:48,952
? ?
353
00:13:48,953 --> 00:13:51,079
Good reading.
354
00:13:51,080 --> 00:13:53,748
[chuckles] Yeah.
355
00:13:53,749 --> 00:14:00,881
? ?
356
00:14:07,721 --> 00:14:09,265
- Ugh!
357
00:14:12,601 --> 00:14:14,769
A fajita meat?
358
00:14:14,770 --> 00:14:16,688
[scoffs]
359
00:14:16,689 --> 00:14:19,691
[mysterious music]
360
00:14:19,692 --> 00:14:22,861
? ?
361
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:24,404
[scoffs]
362
00:14:24,405 --> 00:14:26,614
? ?
363
00:14:26,615 --> 00:14:30,535
What the fuck is happening?
364
00:14:30,536 --> 00:14:32,370
Damn it!
365
00:14:32,371 --> 00:14:33,788
[monkey chatters]
366
00:14:33,789 --> 00:14:35,456
? ?
367
00:14:35,457 --> 00:14:38,293
You throw
that fajita meat at me?
368
00:14:38,294 --> 00:14:41,045
Hey, Dr. Watson,
I'm talking to you.
369
00:14:41,046 --> 00:14:43,715
? ?
370
00:14:43,716 --> 00:14:44,799
[monkey chatters, item thuds]
371
00:14:44,800 --> 00:14:46,759
Hey, you're gonna break
the powder.
372
00:14:46,760 --> 00:14:49,762
[monkey hisses]
373
00:14:49,763 --> 00:14:50,972
[monkey growls]
374
00:14:50,973 --> 00:14:52,640
- Bad monkey!
375
00:14:52,641 --> 00:14:54,267
Nasty Dr. Watson!
376
00:14:54,268 --> 00:14:55,977
[bell ringing]
377
00:14:55,978 --> 00:15:00,481
? ?
378
00:15:00,482 --> 00:15:04,444
God, Beej,
you're washing his asshole?
379
00:15:04,445 --> 00:15:06,696
Who's the service animal,
you or him?
380
00:15:06,697 --> 00:15:07,989
- We both help each other.
381
00:15:07,990 --> 00:15:10,658
YouTube says to dab it
with a wet washcloth.
382
00:15:10,659 --> 00:15:12,660
Capuchins have a problem
with anal leakage.
383
00:15:12,661 --> 00:15:13,953
- BJ...[scoffs]
384
00:15:13,954 --> 00:15:15,121
Being a caregiver,
that's not something
385
00:15:15,122 --> 00:15:16,331
that comes easy for me.
386
00:15:16,332 --> 00:15:20,084
I'm not a service animal,
but I have been here for you.
387
00:15:20,085 --> 00:15:21,836
And I just feel like-
388
00:15:21,837 --> 00:15:23,421
I don't know, I feel
like this damn monkey's
389
00:15:23,422 --> 00:15:25,089
getting all the credit.
390
00:15:25,090 --> 00:15:26,633
- Baby, it's not a competition.
391
00:15:26,634 --> 00:15:28,593
- Tell that to this
little fuck face.
392
00:15:28,594 --> 00:15:31,012
He's trying to maddog me
right now.
393
00:15:31,013 --> 00:15:33,348
I see you eyeballing me, OK?
394
00:15:33,349 --> 00:15:36,017
Looking at me like
a jealous bitch with no tits.
395
00:15:36,018 --> 00:15:37,268
[monkey squeals]
396
00:15:37,269 --> 00:15:38,978
- What has gotten into you?
397
00:15:38,979 --> 00:15:40,647
- Just all of it, OK?
398
00:15:40,648 --> 00:15:42,941
You, the monkey,
my fucking daddy,
399
00:15:42,942 --> 00:15:44,692
dumbass Kelvin.
400
00:15:44,693 --> 00:15:46,319
- Have you talked with Kelvin?
401
00:15:46,320 --> 00:15:47,904
- No, I have not.
402
00:15:47,905 --> 00:15:50,031
Me and Jesse are, like,
totally over him right now.
403
00:15:50,032 --> 00:15:51,157
We're sick of him.
404
00:15:51,158 --> 00:15:53,201
He's bratting off like he
used to when he was little.
405
00:15:53,202 --> 00:15:54,369
- Poor guy.
406
00:15:54,370 --> 00:15:56,663
Vance Simkins
is a self-righteous bigot
407
00:15:56,664 --> 00:15:58,665
and a homophobe.
408
00:15:58,666 --> 00:16:00,333
You should check on Kelvin.
409
00:16:00,334 --> 00:16:03,252
- OK, I'm not interested,
so thanks a lot.
410
00:16:03,253 --> 00:16:05,213
- Dr. Watson thinks
you should too.
411
00:16:05,214 --> 00:16:07,882
- Well, then I'm especially
not going to.
412
00:16:07,883 --> 00:16:11,219
OK, Dr. Watson, I'm not doing
what you fucking say.
413
00:16:11,220 --> 00:16:13,931
[monkey squeals]
414
00:16:14,974 --> 00:16:16,766
- I must tell you,
I was there.
415
00:16:16,767 --> 00:16:19,060
I was nervous...
[chuckles]
416
00:16:19,061 --> 00:16:20,395
Like a long-tailed cat
417
00:16:20,396 --> 00:16:21,980
in a room full
of rocking chairs.
418
00:16:21,981 --> 00:16:23,564
[laughter]
419
00:16:23,565 --> 00:16:26,401
- Jesse,
how's your brother doing?
420
00:16:26,402 --> 00:16:28,528
- Huh.
How's your face doing?
421
00:16:28,529 --> 00:16:29,862
You want to keep it?
422
00:16:29,863 --> 00:16:31,823
- [chuckles]
Getting rid of Kelvin
423
00:16:31,824 --> 00:16:33,825
gives me a clear path
to victory
424
00:16:33,826 --> 00:16:35,868
for Top Christ Following Man.
425
00:16:35,869 --> 00:16:37,912
He's my only real competition.
426
00:16:37,913 --> 00:16:42,083
Plus, I love knowing
me hurting him also hurts you.
427
00:16:42,084 --> 00:16:43,584
It's honestly delicious.
428
00:16:43,585 --> 00:16:45,378
- Well, that's
where you're wrong.
429
00:16:45,379 --> 00:16:47,255
I'm currently fighting
with my baby bro,
430
00:16:47,256 --> 00:16:48,589
so I no longer love him.
431
00:16:48,590 --> 00:16:50,925
So you embarrassing him,
432
00:16:50,926 --> 00:16:52,552
it actually helped me.
433
00:16:52,553 --> 00:16:53,928
Thanks.
- [chuckles]
434
00:16:53,929 --> 00:16:56,556
Well, you can tell
your baby bro
435
00:16:56,557 --> 00:16:59,100
that I'm gonna ruthlessly
dismantle him
436
00:16:59,101 --> 00:17:02,729
at the final Top Christ
Following Man proceedings.
437
00:17:02,730 --> 00:17:07,400
That's if he even has
the nards to show.
438
00:17:07,401 --> 00:17:09,152
Mmm.
439
00:17:09,153 --> 00:17:12,155
[classical music playing]
440
00:17:12,156 --> 00:17:15,074
? ?
441
00:17:15,075 --> 00:17:17,410
Tasty.
442
00:17:17,411 --> 00:17:18,995
Gentlemen.
443
00:17:18,996 --> 00:17:24,375
? ?
444
00:17:24,376 --> 00:17:28,713
- So I know I talked
about a lot of stuff today.
445
00:17:28,714 --> 00:17:29,756
A lot of stuff.
446
00:17:29,757 --> 00:17:32,091
But it is like
my granddad says:
447
00:17:32,092 --> 00:17:34,427
best to make your sermons
about one thing.
448
00:17:34,428 --> 00:17:35,887
I don't know why
I didn't do that.
449
00:17:35,888 --> 00:17:38,723
To sum it all up,
love one another.
450
00:17:38,724 --> 00:17:40,892
Bible talks a lot about that.
451
00:17:40,893 --> 00:17:42,643
Let's do it.
That feels like a slam dunk.
452
00:17:42,644 --> 00:17:44,729
Let's do it.
453
00:17:44,730 --> 00:17:46,147
I'm good if you guys are good.
454
00:17:46,148 --> 00:17:50,318
You guys can keep hanging,
or you can go, but it's over.
455
00:17:50,319 --> 00:17:51,569
- What the fuck?
456
00:17:51,570 --> 00:17:52,987
- God bless.
457
00:17:52,988 --> 00:17:54,155
God bless you as well.
458
00:17:54,156 --> 00:17:57,784
[indistinct chatter]
459
00:17:57,785 --> 00:18:01,037
- Your speaking voice was more
clear than it has been before.
460
00:18:01,038 --> 00:18:02,497
And that is a good thing.
461
00:18:02,498 --> 00:18:03,831
- Yeah, I thought
your sermon was, like,
462
00:18:03,832 --> 00:18:05,333
a little pedestrian,
kind of boring.
463
00:18:05,334 --> 00:18:06,459
Love one another?
464
00:18:06,460 --> 00:18:07,668
It's, like, almost, like,
one of the most basic
465
00:18:07,669 --> 00:18:08,795
kind of sermons you can give.
466
00:18:08,796 --> 00:18:10,671
But hey, that's
just coming from me,
467
00:18:10,672 --> 00:18:12,048
someone you don't see
as a mentor figure.
468
00:18:12,049 --> 00:18:13,841
So take what you will.
469
00:18:13,842 --> 00:18:16,344
- Yeah.
470
00:18:16,345 --> 00:18:18,679
- Baby, what's going on
with you and Pontius?
471
00:18:18,680 --> 00:18:22,391
- Oh, I don't know.
472
00:18:22,392 --> 00:18:24,185
Maybe he's just unhappy,
I guess.
473
00:18:24,186 --> 00:18:25,645
I mean, he was
kicked out of school.
474
00:18:25,646 --> 00:18:26,979
He's living at home.
475
00:18:26,980 --> 00:18:28,439
Probably feels like a loser.
476
00:18:28,440 --> 00:18:29,857
- Well, he is a loser.
477
00:18:29,858 --> 00:18:30,942
- Jesse.
478
00:18:30,943 --> 00:18:32,652
- I tried being nice
with him for a long time.
479
00:18:32,653 --> 00:18:35,446
Now it's like, I just-
I sort of keep my distance.
480
00:18:35,447 --> 00:18:37,323
- Yeah, well, as much
as Pontius is an asshole...
481
00:18:37,324 --> 00:18:39,200
[sighs]
You guys are brothers,
482
00:18:39,201 --> 00:18:40,368
so you need to get along.
483
00:18:40,369 --> 00:18:42,495
And as firstborn,
it is your responsibility
484
00:18:42,496 --> 00:18:44,997
to keep the peace so I don't
have to hear your mom bitch.
485
00:18:44,998 --> 00:18:46,457
- And because it's not
very healthy to fight
486
00:18:46,458 --> 00:18:47,959
with your family.
487
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:51,546
- Guys, I try to make it work,
but, man, he's just a prick.
488
00:18:51,547 --> 00:18:54,215
He says the worst stuff to me,
the most awful things.
489
00:18:54,216 --> 00:18:56,217
- Your brother knows you
well enough to know
490
00:18:56,218 --> 00:18:57,760
what's gonna hurt you.
491
00:18:57,761 --> 00:19:00,263
- Well, that's the thing that
sucks about having siblings.
492
00:19:00,264 --> 00:19:02,515
They know all your weaknesses
and can fuck you
493
00:19:02,516 --> 00:19:04,725
right in the asshole
with them.
494
00:19:04,726 --> 00:19:08,062
Look at all the venom that
Kelvin constantly spits at me.
495
00:19:08,063 --> 00:19:10,356
- Kelvin's going through
a lot right now, baby.
496
00:19:10,357 --> 00:19:12,525
He doesn't mean anything
that he's saying to you.
497
00:19:12,526 --> 00:19:16,863
- Sweetheart, lovums, this is
not about my shitty sibling.
498
00:19:16,864 --> 00:19:19,365
This is about Gideon's
shitty sibling, OK?
499
00:19:19,366 --> 00:19:20,783
Let's keep it focused.
500
00:19:20,784 --> 00:19:22,618
- Oh, well, maybe you
could teach Gideon
501
00:19:22,619 --> 00:19:24,203
how to be a good brother.
502
00:19:24,204 --> 00:19:28,749
You know, like maybe
a mentor figure would.
503
00:19:28,750 --> 00:19:31,752
[pensive music]
504
00:19:31,753 --> 00:19:33,087
- Mm.
505
00:19:33,088 --> 00:19:35,173
? ?
506
00:19:35,174 --> 00:19:37,008
I see what you did there, so...
507
00:19:37,009 --> 00:19:38,926
[scoffs]
508
00:19:38,927 --> 00:19:40,428
[sighs]
509
00:19:40,429 --> 00:19:42,930
? ?
510
00:19:42,931 --> 00:19:44,474
Kelvin?
511
00:19:46,435 --> 00:19:48,019
It's me.
512
00:19:48,020 --> 00:19:51,773
[whistles]
Kelvin?
513
00:19:54,443 --> 00:19:57,987
It's me, big bro-bro.
514
00:19:57,988 --> 00:20:01,949
[toilet flushes]
515
00:20:01,950 --> 00:20:03,784
What the hell
are you doing here?
516
00:20:03,785 --> 00:20:06,245
- Me?
I'm merely shitting.
517
00:20:06,246 --> 00:20:08,289
- You came all the way to
Kelvin's house to take a shit?
518
00:20:08,290 --> 00:20:09,457
- Yeah, dude.
519
00:20:09,458 --> 00:20:10,833
I was driving near here,
and I started turtle-heading.
520
00:20:10,834 --> 00:20:12,585
- Mm-hmm.
- Pfft, what you want me to do?
521
00:20:12,586 --> 00:20:15,087
I'm not gonna go shit in the
woods like an animal, Jesse.
522
00:20:15,088 --> 00:20:16,130
What are you doing here?
523
00:20:16,131 --> 00:20:17,506
- Came by to check in on him.
524
00:20:17,507 --> 00:20:18,799
- OK, dude.
Real talk?
525
00:20:18,800 --> 00:20:19,926
Me too.
526
00:20:19,927 --> 00:20:22,136
I didn't have to shit
till I ate all his figs.
527
00:20:22,137 --> 00:20:25,306
I can't stop thinking about
how scared he looked on TV.
528
00:20:25,307 --> 00:20:27,808
- Just clammed the fuck up.
529
00:20:27,809 --> 00:20:29,769
Couldn't even do that little
annoying eye-roll thing
530
00:20:29,770 --> 00:20:31,270
he does.
531
00:20:31,271 --> 00:20:33,272
- I know he can be
a smart-alecky little bitch-
532
00:20:33,273 --> 00:20:34,815
- Little fuck face of a boy.
533
00:20:34,816 --> 00:20:36,234
- Totally, but...
[sighs]
534
00:20:36,235 --> 00:20:38,402
Kelvin's one of us, man.
535
00:20:38,403 --> 00:20:40,488
- Mm.
536
00:20:40,489 --> 00:20:42,240
Pshoo.
537
00:20:42,241 --> 00:20:43,908
You thinking what I'm thinking?
538
00:20:43,909 --> 00:20:48,454
- Mm, that I
could be gay too?
539
00:20:48,455 --> 00:20:51,832
- No, I was thinking that maybe
we should help Kelvin.
540
00:20:51,833 --> 00:20:54,627
- Ah, Jesus!
541
00:20:54,628 --> 00:20:57,088
- My word, family visitors.
542
00:20:57,089 --> 00:21:01,008
[dark choral music]
543
00:21:01,009 --> 00:21:02,510
- Where's our brother?
544
00:21:02,511 --> 00:21:05,554
- Let me show you.
545
00:21:05,555 --> 00:21:07,640
Kelvin lives here now.
546
00:21:07,641 --> 00:21:09,141
Kelvin.
547
00:21:09,142 --> 00:21:11,394
I've tried for days.
548
00:21:11,395 --> 00:21:13,688
There's no way to get up there.
549
00:21:13,689 --> 00:21:15,731
- Hang on, homey.
You tried for days?
550
00:21:15,732 --> 00:21:17,525
- Mm-hmm.
551
00:21:17,526 --> 00:21:19,402
I failed him.
552
00:21:19,403 --> 00:21:22,029
I promised I wouldn't
let anything bad happen,
553
00:21:22,030 --> 00:21:23,531
and it did.
554
00:21:23,532 --> 00:21:26,534
I trained my body
for physical defenses.
555
00:21:26,535 --> 00:21:28,077
But I neglected
to learn anything
556
00:21:28,078 --> 00:21:30,121
about roundtable discussions,
557
00:21:30,122 --> 00:21:32,665
the most dangerous threat
of them all.
558
00:21:32,666 --> 00:21:34,875
- Is there really
no way up there?
559
00:21:34,876 --> 00:21:37,545
- Uh-uh. No.
560
00:21:37,546 --> 00:21:40,965
- I think I might know a way.
561
00:21:40,966 --> 00:21:42,383
- ? Suck my dick ?
562
00:21:42,384 --> 00:21:44,010
? Suck my motherfucking dick ?
563
00:21:44,011 --> 00:21:45,720
? Suck my dick ?
564
00:21:45,721 --> 00:21:47,638
? Suck my motherfucking dick ?
565
00:21:47,639 --> 00:21:49,056
? Suck my dick ?
566
00:21:49,057 --> 00:21:51,058
? Suck my motherfucking dick ?
567
00:21:51,059 --> 00:21:52,351
? Suck my dick ?
568
00:21:52,352 --> 00:21:53,477
? Suck my motherfucking dick ?
569
00:21:53,478 --> 00:21:55,187
[indistinct chatter]
570
00:21:55,188 --> 00:21:57,732
? Suck, suck, suck ?
571
00:21:57,733 --> 00:22:01,569
? Suck my motherfucking dick ?
572
00:22:01,570 --> 00:22:02,737
? Suck my dick ?
573
00:22:02,738 --> 00:22:04,447
? Suck my motherfucking dick ?
574
00:22:04,448 --> 00:22:05,448
- Here.
Turn that off, will you?
575
00:22:05,449 --> 00:22:07,033
- Yeah.
576
00:22:07,034 --> 00:22:08,160
[music stops]
577
00:22:09,260 --> 00:22:11,746
- What do you want, Gideon?
578
00:22:11,747 --> 00:22:13,581
- What's up, fellas?
579
00:22:13,582 --> 00:22:15,916
Hey, how's it going?
580
00:22:15,917 --> 00:22:17,918
'Sup? 'Sup?
581
00:22:17,919 --> 00:22:20,463
Well, I came to ask
if you guys would like
582
00:22:20,464 --> 00:22:21,589
to join my prayer group.
583
00:22:21,590 --> 00:22:22,923
[laughter]
584
00:22:22,924 --> 00:22:25,092
Boy, we sure could use
some young blood.
585
00:22:25,093 --> 00:22:26,302
- Fuck off, Gideon.
586
00:22:26,303 --> 00:22:30,222
[laughter]
587
00:22:30,223 --> 00:22:32,099
- Well, hey,
have you considered
588
00:22:32,100 --> 00:22:33,893
you may have it wrong?
589
00:22:33,894 --> 00:22:36,103
Maybe there's cool parts
about church-
590
00:22:36,104 --> 00:22:38,105
many cool parts
that you just don't see.
591
00:22:38,106 --> 00:22:39,106
- [babbles mockingly]
592
00:22:39,107 --> 00:22:41,692
[laughter]
- I'll tell you what.
593
00:22:41,693 --> 00:22:43,444
If you guys join me
for one Sunday,
594
00:22:43,445 --> 00:22:47,615
just one, OK,
I bet for fact
595
00:22:47,616 --> 00:22:49,450
you'll want to be back
the next Sunday too.
596
00:22:49,451 --> 00:22:51,410
- You're being cheugy, bro.
597
00:22:51,411 --> 00:22:53,704
Go back to Sunday school
and start sucking
598
00:22:53,705 --> 00:22:55,289
Daddy's dick some more.
599
00:22:55,290 --> 00:22:58,125
[gagging]
- [babbling]
600
00:22:58,126 --> 00:23:01,128
[laughter]
601
00:23:01,129 --> 00:23:02,129
[dramatic music]
602
00:23:02,130 --> 00:23:03,964
- Kick rocks, kid.
603
00:23:03,965 --> 00:23:07,635
- Daddy's boy.
- Hey, Gideon. [laughs]
604
00:23:07,636 --> 00:23:09,678
Oh, we're in trouble.
605
00:23:09,679 --> 00:23:12,306
Oh, oh.
606
00:23:12,307 --> 00:23:14,141
- If I had to make
this sermon about one thing,
607
00:23:14,142 --> 00:23:18,270
I guess it'd be
that looks can be deceiving.
608
00:23:18,271 --> 00:23:19,480
- [scoffs]
609
00:23:19,481 --> 00:23:21,607
- Skateboard.
610
00:23:21,608 --> 00:23:23,442
- Don't embarrass yourself.
611
00:23:23,443 --> 00:23:25,194
- Pontius.
612
00:23:25,195 --> 00:23:28,197
Skateboard.
613
00:23:28,198 --> 00:23:29,824
- What the fuck
you gonna do with that?
614
00:23:29,825 --> 00:23:31,158
- [mockingly]
"What you gonna do with"-
615
00:23:31,159 --> 00:23:33,702
- Whoa!
- He touched you, bro.
616
00:23:33,703 --> 00:23:38,165
? ?
617
00:23:38,166 --> 00:23:40,501
- This is where he eats shit.
618
00:23:40,502 --> 00:23:42,503
- No way.
619
00:23:42,504 --> 00:23:45,339
? ?
620
00:23:45,340 --> 00:23:47,508
- [sighs]
621
00:23:47,509 --> 00:23:50,636
? ?
622
00:23:50,637 --> 00:23:53,639
[intense choral music]
623
00:23:53,640 --> 00:24:00,730
? ?
624
00:24:06,528 --> 00:24:08,988
- Oh!
- Hell yeah, man!
625
00:24:08,989 --> 00:24:16,079
? ?
626
00:24:24,754 --> 00:24:26,922
- Whoa!
627
00:24:26,923 --> 00:24:30,551
? ?
628
00:24:30,552 --> 00:24:32,387
[thud echoes]
629
00:24:33,472 --> 00:24:35,890
[skaters cheering]
630
00:24:35,891 --> 00:24:39,643
- God has a whole lot more
to offer than meets the eye.
631
00:24:39,644 --> 00:24:42,730
Come by Sundays at 10:00.
632
00:24:42,731 --> 00:24:43,731
That's what's up.
633
00:24:43,732 --> 00:24:46,150
- That's what's up.
634
00:24:46,151 --> 00:24:47,902
Fucking sick.
635
00:24:47,903 --> 00:24:50,030
- Thanks, Ash.
- Of course, man.
636
00:25:02,667 --> 00:25:04,251
[birds chirping]
637
00:25:04,252 --> 00:25:07,339
[engines whirring]
638
00:25:12,093 --> 00:25:14,553
- Ding-dong, bitch!
639
00:25:14,554 --> 00:25:16,305
You gonna invite us in?
640
00:25:16,306 --> 00:25:19,892
[exciting music]
641
00:25:19,893 --> 00:25:22,311
Motherfucker thinks
he can hide from us.
642
00:25:22,312 --> 00:25:25,231
Whoo-hoo!
Whoa, shit!
643
00:25:25,232 --> 00:25:26,815
Fuck!
Stop it!
644
00:25:26,816 --> 00:25:30,236
- Aw, shit! I got the-
- Come down!
645
00:25:30,237 --> 00:25:31,445
[power whirs down]
646
00:25:31,446 --> 00:25:32,822
- Fuck.
647
00:25:35,075 --> 00:25:36,618
- Take your sweet time.
648
00:25:40,121 --> 00:25:43,415
- Kelvin, what the fuck
are you doing up here?
649
00:25:43,416 --> 00:25:45,376
- Hiding away in my tower,
650
00:25:45,377 --> 00:25:48,796
safe from all the evils
of the cruel world.
651
00:25:48,797 --> 00:25:50,297
You were right, Jesse.
652
00:25:50,298 --> 00:25:55,427
I am a token,
nomination just to check a box.
653
00:25:55,428 --> 00:25:57,388
- So, what,
you're just gonna quit,
654
00:25:57,389 --> 00:25:59,723
let Simkins win?
655
00:25:59,724 --> 00:26:03,060
- I'm a failure, Jesse.
656
00:26:03,061 --> 00:26:04,895
How am I supposed
to go face the other
657
00:26:04,896 --> 00:26:06,647
Top Christ Following Men?
658
00:26:06,648 --> 00:26:09,108
How am I even supposed
to go back to Prism?
659
00:26:09,109 --> 00:26:11,151
I'm not a brave, strong leader.
660
00:26:11,152 --> 00:26:13,529
I'm a-I'm a coward.
661
00:26:13,530 --> 00:26:15,155
- Yes, Kelvin,
you are a coward.
662
00:26:15,156 --> 00:26:17,157
- Bitch!
- Let me tell you something.
663
00:26:17,158 --> 00:26:19,285
You're a mean coward.
664
00:26:19,286 --> 00:26:22,288
Next time they come
for you, dude, clap back.
665
00:26:22,289 --> 00:26:24,123
You are so witty, man.
666
00:26:24,124 --> 00:26:26,041
And you are
extremely good at rips.
667
00:26:26,042 --> 00:26:27,835
- That is so true.
668
00:26:27,836 --> 00:26:29,503
You can rip
with the best of them.
669
00:26:29,504 --> 00:26:31,171
That's why you got
to pick yourself up,
670
00:26:31,172 --> 00:26:34,133
dust yourself off, and get
your ass back in the game.
671
00:26:34,134 --> 00:26:35,801
You want to prove yourself?
672
00:26:35,802 --> 00:26:38,137
You shove it right back
in Vance Simkins' face.
673
00:26:38,138 --> 00:26:40,806
- You really think I deserve
to be Top Christ Following Man?
674
00:26:40,807 --> 00:26:42,266
I can go toe to toe with him?
675
00:26:42,267 --> 00:26:43,517
- We know you can.
676
00:26:43,518 --> 00:26:47,855
- You have to, regardless of
whether you deserve it or not.
677
00:26:47,856 --> 00:26:51,191
- Yeah, but you think
I deserve to, right?
678
00:26:51,192 --> 00:26:53,987
- Regardless,
you have to win this year.
679
00:27:00,035 --> 00:27:01,328
- [grunts]
680
00:27:02,912 --> 00:27:05,831
- We just put in
that door, Keefe.
681
00:27:05,832 --> 00:27:07,875
[indistinct chatter]
682
00:27:07,876 --> 00:27:11,795
- Darling,
why ain't you eating?
683
00:27:11,796 --> 00:27:13,839
- I talked to Cobb.
684
00:27:13,840 --> 00:27:15,382
- What did he have to say?
[chuckles]
685
00:27:15,383 --> 00:27:18,177
I'm sure all kinds
of stuff about me.
686
00:27:18,178 --> 00:27:21,555
- He did, some things
I wanted to ask myself.
687
00:27:21,556 --> 00:27:23,724
- Mm.
- [clears throat]
688
00:27:23,725 --> 00:27:26,393
Most obviously
about the escort service
689
00:27:26,394 --> 00:27:28,270
in Pigeon Forge.
690
00:27:28,271 --> 00:27:31,899
- Oh, fucking Cobb.
691
00:27:31,900 --> 00:27:33,776
[sighs]
692
00:27:33,777 --> 00:27:35,194
- He showed me the ad.
693
00:27:35,195 --> 00:27:39,782
- Hm, yeah, Pigeon Forge
is really big
694
00:27:39,783 --> 00:27:41,575
on the 65-year-old hookers.
695
00:27:41,576 --> 00:27:44,870
They just cannot get enough.
696
00:27:44,871 --> 00:27:50,751
Eli, he faked those ads
to try to smear me
697
00:27:50,752 --> 00:27:53,337
or embarrass me or, I-
698
00:27:53,338 --> 00:27:55,047
who knows?
699
00:27:55,048 --> 00:27:59,051
But hey, worked
on the last guy too.
700
00:27:59,052 --> 00:28:03,097
So you really think
I would do that?
701
00:28:03,098 --> 00:28:05,057
- Look, I know
you got money problems.
702
00:28:05,058 --> 00:28:08,602
I ran a credit check.
703
00:28:08,603 --> 00:28:10,938
- I guess you really
are something.
704
00:28:10,939 --> 00:28:13,941
- Well, are you not broke?
705
00:28:13,942 --> 00:28:16,652
You did declare bankruptcy
last year.
706
00:28:16,653 --> 00:28:20,781
- Have I ever asked you
for one cent?
707
00:28:20,782 --> 00:28:22,658
You know, Aimee-Leigh
used to tell me
708
00:28:22,659 --> 00:28:23,992
how much
money mattered to you,
709
00:28:23,993 --> 00:28:25,619
and I thought
she was exaggerating.
710
00:28:25,620 --> 00:28:27,955
- You're crossing a line.
711
00:28:27,956 --> 00:28:29,957
- I think you
crossed it first,
712
00:28:29,958 --> 00:28:33,252
literally calling me a whore.
713
00:28:33,253 --> 00:28:34,628
- Maybe I wanted something
so bad,
714
00:28:34,629 --> 00:28:36,839
I couldn't see straight.
715
00:28:36,840 --> 00:28:39,758
- Yeah, well,
that's funny, because
716
00:28:39,759 --> 00:28:44,930
I am having the exact same
goddamn realization.
717
00:28:44,931 --> 00:28:46,557
There you go.
718
00:28:46,558 --> 00:28:49,977
[tense music]
719
00:28:49,978 --> 00:28:51,478
- [sighs]
720
00:28:51,479 --> 00:28:53,647
? ?
721
00:28:53,648 --> 00:28:57,609
[indistinct chatter]
722
00:28:57,610 --> 00:29:00,070
- Just a-[clicks tongue]
723
00:29:00,071 --> 00:29:04,450
After I win,
I'll throw you a wink.
724
00:29:04,451 --> 00:29:08,746
- So apparently, we are down
a man, Kelvin Gemstone.
725
00:29:08,747 --> 00:29:10,581
- [scoffs]
726
00:29:10,582 --> 00:29:13,834
He's probably in a pink robe,
hiding in his mansion.
727
00:29:13,835 --> 00:29:16,336
[laughter]
- Not so fast.
728
00:29:16,337 --> 00:29:20,466
- ? Tough luck,
motherfuckers ?
729
00:29:20,467 --> 00:29:23,010
? Tough luck,
motherfuckers ?
730
00:29:23,011 --> 00:29:26,138
- How could I miss
the big reveal of the TCFM?
731
00:29:26,139 --> 00:29:27,473
They might call my name.
732
00:29:27,474 --> 00:29:30,142
- Oh, they are definitely
gonna call his name.
733
00:29:30,143 --> 00:29:31,685
- Not a chance.
734
00:29:31,686 --> 00:29:35,856
This honor recognizes
the ideal Christian man.
735
00:29:35,857 --> 00:29:38,692
Is Little Brother Gemstone
even a man at all?
736
00:29:38,693 --> 00:29:41,653
- Vance, how 'bout I slap
the skin off your fucking face?
737
00:29:41,654 --> 00:29:43,655
- Jesse, it's OK.
738
00:29:43,656 --> 00:29:45,199
I can answer the question.
739
00:29:45,200 --> 00:29:49,703
Vance, I'm man enough to
already have my makeup applied
740
00:29:49,704 --> 00:29:52,873
so I can jockey
for center position onstage.
741
00:29:52,874 --> 00:29:55,042
[laughs wickedly]
742
00:29:55,043 --> 00:29:57,961
- You just need a hug.
- Get out of here!
743
00:29:57,962 --> 00:30:00,964
[cheers and applause]
744
00:30:00,965 --> 00:30:04,718
[dramatic music playing]
745
00:30:04,719 --> 00:30:06,303
- Good evening,
746
00:30:06,304 --> 00:30:08,680
and welcome to the final night
747
00:30:08,681 --> 00:30:10,891
of the
Top Christ Following Man,
748
00:30:10,892 --> 00:30:16,480
where the winner will be
crowned and named our top man.
749
00:30:16,481 --> 00:30:23,362
This is the Night of Testimony!
750
00:30:23,363 --> 00:30:28,242
[cheers and applause]
751
00:30:28,243 --> 00:30:32,579
Testimony is crucial
to defining a pastor.
752
00:30:32,580 --> 00:30:34,706
What brought them to Christ?
753
00:30:34,707 --> 00:30:39,461
A testament to who these
top Christian men truly are.
754
00:30:39,462 --> 00:30:43,382
And these men tonight
will be voted upon
755
00:30:43,383 --> 00:30:48,053
by a panel
of international judges
756
00:30:48,054 --> 00:30:51,348
and by you at home.
757
00:30:51,349 --> 00:30:54,268
Just call or text
the above number
758
00:30:54,269 --> 00:30:58,564
to place your vote
for your favorite.
759
00:30:58,565 --> 00:31:00,691
Fees will be applied.
760
00:31:00,692 --> 00:31:02,025
[applause]
761
00:31:02,026 --> 00:31:05,445
? ?
762
00:31:05,446 --> 00:31:07,948
- At that moment,
in that bathtub
763
00:31:07,949 --> 00:31:12,452
with alcohol and Valium
filling my veins...
764
00:31:12,453 --> 00:31:14,288
- And I pulled myself
765
00:31:14,289 --> 00:31:16,790
from the twisted wreckage
of that van.
766
00:31:16,791 --> 00:31:21,086
Everyone else inside:
dead on impact...
767
00:31:21,087 --> 00:31:23,839
- Both my parents died
in that plane crash.
768
00:31:23,840 --> 00:31:26,633
And the moment it happened,
the Lord came to me and said,
769
00:31:26,634 --> 00:31:30,637
Vance, you and your siblings,
led by you,
770
00:31:30,638 --> 00:31:34,141
will build an empire
that honors me.
771
00:31:34,142 --> 00:31:35,976
'Me' is Jesus.
772
00:31:35,977 --> 00:31:39,646
- But not one scratch, scrape,
or drop of blood on me.
773
00:31:39,647 --> 00:31:41,815
- And we did it as a family...
774
00:31:41,816 --> 00:31:44,109
- I knew right then
and there my path was set.
775
00:31:44,110 --> 00:31:46,612
- A multiracial family,
no less...
776
00:31:46,613 --> 00:31:47,613
- That's when I knew...
777
00:31:47,614 --> 00:31:49,323
- I was to be His servant.
778
00:31:49,324 --> 00:31:50,616
- Multiracial.
779
00:31:50,617 --> 00:31:52,826
God bless to you all.
780
00:31:52,827 --> 00:31:54,912
God bless to your families.
781
00:31:54,913 --> 00:31:56,622
- I have been blessed by God.
782
00:31:56,623 --> 00:31:57,915
- God had chosen me...
783
00:31:57,916 --> 00:31:59,166
- May God bless you.
784
00:31:59,167 --> 00:32:03,170
- To be
the Top Christ Following Man.
785
00:32:03,171 --> 00:32:07,007
- And God bless to the Top
Christ Following Man families.
786
00:32:07,008 --> 00:32:08,175
[applause]
787
00:32:08,176 --> 00:32:09,176
- Thank you.
788
00:32:09,177 --> 00:32:12,179
A fascinating
and touching testimony.
789
00:32:12,180 --> 00:32:14,181
It is all about family.
790
00:32:14,182 --> 00:32:16,516
[applause continues]
791
00:32:16,517 --> 00:32:20,145
And now on to our next
Top Christ Following Man.
792
00:32:20,146 --> 00:32:26,152
Kelvin Gemstone,
it's time to testify.
793
00:32:33,618 --> 00:32:36,663
[footsteps echoing]
794
00:32:38,539 --> 00:32:40,707
- Truth.
795
00:32:40,708 --> 00:32:43,543
You see, that's actually what
I want to talk about tonight.
796
00:32:43,544 --> 00:32:46,380
See, I was the youngest member
of my family to become
797
00:32:46,381 --> 00:32:49,883
a preacher-at age 12.
798
00:32:49,884 --> 00:32:55,098
They said I was special,
but I just felt different.
799
00:32:56,808 --> 00:32:58,893
I spent my whole life
trying not to be.
800
00:33:01,604 --> 00:33:04,982
Until I realized...
801
00:33:04,983 --> 00:33:08,568
God sees the real me.
802
00:33:08,569 --> 00:33:12,322
In fact, he made the real me.
803
00:33:12,323 --> 00:33:16,076
And if the real me
is good enough for God,
804
00:33:16,077 --> 00:33:18,495
then it's good enough
for everyone.
805
00:33:18,496 --> 00:33:21,039
- Amen.
- Amen.
806
00:33:21,040 --> 00:33:26,503
- Different is awesome,
807
00:33:26,504 --> 00:33:29,756
the proof of God's work, the-
808
00:33:29,757 --> 00:33:33,885
the range of his talents.
809
00:33:33,886 --> 00:33:40,767
So I came here tonight
not to grovel for accolades
810
00:33:40,768 --> 00:33:45,731
but to tell the truth about
who I am and what I'm about.
811
00:33:45,732 --> 00:33:47,899
[dramatic choral music]
812
00:33:47,900 --> 00:33:51,445
My name is Kelvin Gemstone.
813
00:33:51,446 --> 00:33:55,782
And I'm a-a different
kind of man.
814
00:33:55,783 --> 00:33:58,285
? ?
815
00:33:58,286 --> 00:34:00,037
A beautiful man.
816
00:34:00,038 --> 00:34:06,710
? ?
817
00:34:06,711 --> 00:34:13,133
A gay Top Christ Following Man.
818
00:34:13,134 --> 00:34:18,305
And if that's not good enough
for this award,
819
00:34:18,306 --> 00:34:19,932
then I don't need it.
820
00:34:23,478 --> 00:34:26,647
[audience murmuring]
821
00:34:32,403 --> 00:34:33,862
- Uh-
822
00:34:33,863 --> 00:34:37,365
[somber music]
823
00:34:37,366 --> 00:34:39,326
- He's walking off.
824
00:34:39,327 --> 00:34:40,952
- Yeah, he's just going, dude.
825
00:34:40,953 --> 00:34:42,537
- He's walking off.
826
00:34:42,538 --> 00:34:44,998
- Phone lines are still open.
827
00:34:44,999 --> 00:34:49,044
? ?
828
00:34:49,045 --> 00:34:51,671
- Shit, Kelvin, you just walked
right the fuck offstage.
829
00:34:51,672 --> 00:34:53,215
- Huge brass balls
to do that
830
00:34:53,216 --> 00:34:54,841
but not really
part of the plan.
831
00:34:54,842 --> 00:34:56,843
Now Chuckle Fuck's
definitely gonna win.
832
00:34:56,844 --> 00:34:58,303
- It doesn't matter, Jesse.
833
00:34:58,304 --> 00:35:00,931
It's a pointless award,
like you said.
834
00:35:00,932 --> 00:35:02,766
- Well, yeah, that was
when I didn't get nominated.
835
00:35:02,767 --> 00:35:04,684
But you're this close, man.
836
00:35:04,685 --> 00:35:06,144
- Hey, Mr. Gemstone.
837
00:35:06,145 --> 00:35:07,521
- Yes?
838
00:35:07,522 --> 00:35:09,439
- No, sorry,
the other Mr. Gemstone.
839
00:35:09,440 --> 00:35:12,025
Mr. Kelvin, if you could,
we need you back inside.
840
00:35:12,026 --> 00:35:13,777
I think you...
841
00:35:13,778 --> 00:35:16,696
[radio beeps]
Won.
842
00:35:16,697 --> 00:35:19,616
- [gasps]
843
00:35:19,617 --> 00:35:22,119
- Oh, my-
844
00:35:22,120 --> 00:35:24,329
[The Redwalls'
"Colorful Revolution"]
845
00:35:24,330 --> 00:35:28,500
- And this year's
Top Christ Following Man is...
846
00:35:28,501 --> 00:35:34,256
Kelvin Gemstone!
847
00:35:34,257 --> 00:35:39,427
- ? A sad little boy sat on
a soapbox in Market Square ?
848
00:35:39,428 --> 00:35:43,181
? ?
849
00:35:43,182 --> 00:35:48,270
? He'd given words for free
to all the people there ?
850
00:35:48,271 --> 00:35:51,356
? ?
851
00:35:51,357 --> 00:35:53,191
? And though the song
is the same ?
852
00:35:53,192 --> 00:35:55,694
? Doesn't matter who plays ?
853
00:35:55,695 --> 00:35:57,070
? It's all right ?
854
00:35:57,071 --> 00:36:00,073
? ?
855
00:36:00,074 --> 00:36:01,616
? We were singing ?
856
00:36:01,617 --> 00:36:07,539
? Step right up
for a colorful revolution ?
857
00:36:07,540 --> 00:36:09,708
? ?
858
00:36:09,709 --> 00:36:15,172
? Now a bridge is the word
for the war getting underway ?
859
00:36:15,173 --> 00:36:18,425
? ?
860
00:36:18,426 --> 00:36:20,677
? But you can't if you won't ?
861
00:36:20,678 --> 00:36:25,432
? And you could,
but you don't want to stay ?
862
00:36:25,433 --> 00:36:27,267
? Hey ?
863
00:36:27,268 --> 00:36:30,729
? And the American mind
in its prime ?
864
00:36:30,730 --> 00:36:33,064
? Has got nothing to say ?
865
00:36:33,065 --> 00:36:35,942
? ?
866
00:36:35,943 --> 00:36:39,237
? Yeah, but it's your
American right ?
867
00:36:39,238 --> 00:36:41,489
? To throw your vote away ?
868
00:36:41,490 --> 00:36:43,950
? ?
869
00:36:43,951 --> 00:36:45,410
? And we be singing ?
870
00:36:45,411 --> 00:36:50,957
? Step right up
for a colorful revolution ?
871
00:36:50,958 --> 00:36:54,169
? ?
872
00:36:54,170 --> 00:36:55,670
? Step right up ?
873
00:36:55,671 --> 00:36:59,591
? It's the sound
of the institution ?
874
00:36:59,592 --> 00:37:02,302
? ?
875
00:37:02,303 --> 00:37:05,305
? Yeah, oh, no,
no words you know ?
876
00:37:05,306 --> 00:37:09,142
? You know nothing today ?
877
00:37:09,143 --> 00:37:11,895
? Hey ?
878
00:37:11,896 --> 00:37:14,648
? But when it comes
to get you ?
879
00:37:14,649 --> 00:37:18,485
? Then what will you say ?
880
00:37:18,486 --> 00:37:21,154
? I wish the night was young ?
881
00:37:21,155 --> 00:37:22,280
? Hey ?
882
00:37:22,281 --> 00:37:28,078
? Step right up
for a colorful revolution ?
883
00:37:28,079 --> 00:37:35,169
? ?
884
00:37:41,968 --> 00:37:44,512
[bright tone]
885
00:37:44,562 --> 00:37:49,112
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