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1
00:00:16,108 --> 00:00:17,108
[ imitates explosion ]
2
00:00:17,176 --> 00:00:18,209
Dad?
3
00:00:18,277 --> 00:00:19,611
Come on,
we're only halfway done.
4
00:00:19,678 --> 00:00:20,812
I need help.
5
00:00:20,880 --> 00:00:22,947
I was supposed to keep
a journal all summer.
6
00:00:23,015 --> 00:00:24,382
It's due today.
7
00:00:24,450 --> 00:00:26,851
Wow, first day of school,
and you're already behind?
8
00:00:26,919 --> 00:00:28,219
[ groans ]
I'm dead.
9
00:00:28,287 --> 00:00:30,688
All right, tell me
how far you've gotten.
10
00:00:30,756 --> 00:00:32,090
Okay.
11
00:00:32,158 --> 00:00:34,426
"June 21st --
found a stick."
12
00:00:34,493 --> 00:00:35,493
Mm.
13
00:00:35,561 --> 00:00:37,028
"June 22nd..."
14
00:00:37,096 --> 00:00:38,396
That's it.
15
00:00:38,464 --> 00:00:39,597
That's it?
16
00:00:39,665 --> 00:00:41,466
It was
a really cool stick.
17
00:00:41,534 --> 00:00:43,802
He's right.
It looked like a snake.
18
00:00:43,869 --> 00:00:46,337
Getting everybody out of
the house in the morning
can be really tough,
19
00:00:46,405 --> 00:00:47,772
Especially
the first day of school.
20
00:00:47,840 --> 00:00:49,040
From the minute we get up
at 7:00
21
00:00:49,108 --> 00:00:50,275
Till we drop them off
at school,
22
00:00:50,342 --> 00:00:51,976
It is go, go, go.
23
00:00:52,044 --> 00:00:53,678
I get up at 6:00.
24
00:00:53,746 --> 00:00:56,781
[ chuckles ]
I get up at 5:00.
25
00:00:56,849 --> 00:00:59,184
Seriously,
I get up at 6:00.
26
00:00:59,251 --> 00:01:01,853
That's you? I th--
I thought we had a raccoon.
27
00:01:01,921 --> 00:01:05,557
I can't believe my littlboy
is going into the fifth grade.
28
00:01:05,624 --> 00:01:08,460
He used to hold my finger
with his little hand
29
00:01:08,527 --> 00:01:10,628
And look at me
with those big eyes.
30
00:01:10,696 --> 00:01:13,064
Oh, mi niño pequeño, jay!
31
00:01:13,132 --> 00:01:14,766
Yep, they grow up.
32
00:01:14,834 --> 00:01:17,635
Come on, manny,
let's get going!
33
00:01:19,305 --> 00:01:21,239
How's my hair?
34
00:01:21,307 --> 00:01:22,674
Hold on.
35
00:01:22,741 --> 00:01:24,108
What are you
wearing there?
36
00:01:24,176 --> 00:01:26,177
That looks like
an old christmas tree skirt.
37
00:01:26,245 --> 00:01:28,279
It's a traditional
colombian poncho.
38
00:01:28,347 --> 00:01:31,683
I want my new classmates to know
I'm proud of my heritage.
39
00:01:31,750 --> 00:01:34,252
Sí. I think you look
very handsome, lindo.
40
00:01:34,320 --> 00:01:35,687
Oh, really?
41
00:01:35,754 --> 00:01:38,756
Am I driving him to school,
or is he gonna ride his burro?
42
00:01:40,392 --> 00:01:43,394
* you are a cutie-pie,
yes, you are *
43
00:01:43,462 --> 00:01:44,929
* you are a cutie-pie *
44
00:01:44,997 --> 00:01:46,564
Are you still
baby-proofing?
45
00:01:46,632 --> 00:01:48,366
Everything we own
is pointy.
46
00:01:48,434 --> 00:01:51,002
Why is our daughter
dressed like donna summer?
47
00:01:51,070 --> 00:01:52,303
She is not donna summer.
48
00:01:52,371 --> 00:01:55,039
Clearly, she's diana ross
from the rca years.
49
00:01:55,107 --> 00:01:57,041
How is daddy
not seeing that?
50
00:01:57,109 --> 00:01:58,409
I really thought
you were done with this.
51
00:01:58,477 --> 00:02:00,645
I made
no such promises.
52
00:02:00,713 --> 00:02:04,115
I guess I'm somewhat
of a shutterbug, um,
53
00:02:04,183 --> 00:02:06,851
And my new favorite model,
of course, is lily.
54
00:02:06,919 --> 00:02:09,254
I just completed
a series of photographs
55
00:02:09,321 --> 00:02:11,456
Of her dressed
as various pop icons.
56
00:02:11,524 --> 00:02:14,526
Let's see, I've done,
uh, olivia newton-john.
57
00:02:14,593 --> 00:02:17,362
I've done madonna,
the early years.
58
00:02:17,429 --> 00:02:19,731
Stevie wonder.
59
00:02:19,798 --> 00:02:22,767
Yeah, there are days
when lily has more
costume changes than cher.
60
00:02:22,835 --> 00:02:24,969
[ gasps ] cher!
How could I forget cher?
61
00:02:25,037 --> 00:02:26,004
That's embarrassing.
62
00:02:26,071 --> 00:02:27,772
That's embarrassing?
63
00:02:36,815 --> 00:02:41,717
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
64
00:02:43,155 --> 00:02:44,822
Honey, you moving out?Ans ]
65
00:02:44,890 --> 00:02:45,924
Five more years.
66
00:02:45,991 --> 00:02:47,292
A little help here?
67
00:02:47,359 --> 00:02:49,794
This is why we suggested
the violin.
68
00:02:49,862 --> 00:02:53,264
The cello is more in demand
in university orchestras.
69
00:02:53,332 --> 00:02:55,066
You know what's not
in demand?
Oh, what?
70
00:02:55,134 --> 00:02:56,701
Girls who play
in university orchestras.
71
00:02:56,769 --> 00:02:57,835
[ laughs
sarcastically ]
72
00:02:57,903 --> 00:02:59,537
Here, I'll help you carry it
out to the curb.
73
00:02:59,605 --> 00:03:00,838
Phil,
put on some pants.
74
00:03:00,906 --> 00:03:03,241
Come on, this covers up more
than my bathing suit.
75
00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:04,509
Yeah,
don't reminde.
76
00:03:04,577 --> 00:03:06,878
Haley, honey, don't forget
the driving instructor
77
00:03:06,946 --> 00:03:08,246
Is picking you up
from school.
78
00:03:08,314 --> 00:03:09,847
Can't he pick me up
someplace else?
79
00:03:09,915 --> 00:03:11,849
I don't want kids at school
thinking I'm dating
80
00:03:11,917 --> 00:03:14,118
A 40-year-old driving instructor
who's not even cute.
81
00:03:14,186 --> 00:03:16,254
Haley just got
her learner's permit
82
00:03:16,322 --> 00:03:18,456
We've been taking turns
driving with her.
83
00:03:18,524 --> 00:03:21,893
One of the really standard
rules of the road
84
00:03:21,961 --> 00:03:23,428
Is we want to keep
a safe distance
85
00:03:23,495 --> 00:03:25,229
Between us
and the car in front of it,
86
00:03:25,297 --> 00:03:27,165
And that is not safe
right there -- not safe.
87
00:03:27,232 --> 00:03:28,166
All right.
88
00:03:28,233 --> 00:03:29,267
Okay, merge.
89
00:03:29,335 --> 00:03:30,468
I --
merge.
90
00:03:30,536 --> 00:03:31,536
Mom --
merge!
91
00:03:31,604 --> 00:03:32,971
Merge, merge,
merge, merge, merge!
92
00:03:33,038 --> 00:03:34,505
Stop it!
You're freaking me out!
93
00:03:35,741 --> 00:03:37,008
This navigation system's
all messed up.
94
00:03:37,076 --> 00:03:39,544
It thinks we'rin a park.
95
00:03:39,612 --> 00:03:40,745
Oh, my god,
it is a park!
96
00:03:40,813 --> 00:03:41,779
Away from the kids!
97
00:03:41,847 --> 00:03:43,081
Where do I go?!
Aim for the lake!
98
00:03:43,148 --> 00:03:44,449
The lake?!
Aim for the lake!
99
00:03:44,516 --> 00:03:48,786
Makes you realize we're all
just hanging by a thread.
100
00:03:50,723 --> 00:03:53,091
The last thing manny needs
on his first day of school
101
00:03:53,158 --> 00:03:55,259
Is you under-melting
his confidence.
102
00:03:55,327 --> 00:03:57,495
Undermining.
Now u're doing it
to me, too.
103
00:03:57,563 --> 00:03:59,197
I'm sorry,
but there's only two places
104
00:03:59,264 --> 00:04:00,598
Anyone should wear
a poncho --
105
00:04:00,666 --> 00:04:03,401
Niagara falls
and log rides.
106
00:04:03,469 --> 00:04:05,370
You think too much
about these things.
107
00:04:05,437 --> 00:04:07,672
I wear all sort
of daring outfits all the time,
108
00:04:07,740 --> 00:04:10,708
And people admire them because
I wear them with the confidence.
109
00:04:10,776 --> 00:04:13,311
I'm sure it's the confidence
they're admiring.
110
00:04:13,379 --> 00:04:14,812
[ chuckles ]
111
00:04:14,880 --> 00:04:16,080
I just...
112
00:04:16,148 --> 00:04:18,016
I just think
it's a little over-the-top.
113
00:04:18,083 --> 00:04:20,184
You know what? You need
to loosen up and have fun.
114
00:04:20,252 --> 00:04:21,285
I am loose. I'm fun.
115
00:04:21,353 --> 00:04:22,387
Remember?
116
00:04:22,454 --> 00:04:24,455
Breakfast for dinner
last week -- my idea.
117
00:04:24,523 --> 00:04:27,291
Ever since we brought lily home,
you've been tense.
118
00:04:27,359 --> 00:04:29,894
All you do is put child locks
on things, read parenting books.
119
00:04:29,962 --> 00:04:31,529
Would you please stop
and --
120
00:04:31,597 --> 00:04:33,197
Here -- just hold
your daughter.
121
00:04:33,265 --> 00:04:35,600
Hold her and relax.
122
00:04:35,668 --> 00:04:36,901
All right, sweetheart.
Come on.
123
00:04:36,969 --> 00:04:38,903
Just relax.
Oh, sweetheart.
124
00:04:38,971 --> 00:04:40,738
Did you put hair spray
on this?
125
00:04:40,806 --> 00:04:42,306
Just a little bit, yes.
126
00:04:42,374 --> 00:04:43,841
I'm gonna put
some music on.
No, cam,
I have to go to work.
127
00:04:43,909 --> 00:04:45,209
Dance with her!
I don't have time
for this.
128
00:04:45,277 --> 00:04:46,411
Put a little boogie
in it.
129
00:04:46,478 --> 00:04:48,379
[ dance music plays ]
oh, come on.
130
00:04:48,447 --> 00:04:50,314
Just dance.
You know you love this song.
131
00:04:50,382 --> 00:04:52,617
This is actually
a really good song.
132
00:04:52,685 --> 00:04:54,519
All right. Okay.
133
00:04:54,586 --> 00:04:56,287
Who's the dancing queen,
huh?
134
00:04:56,355 --> 00:04:58,356
[ music continues ]
135
00:04:58,424 --> 00:04:59,991
Put a little boogie
in it.
I don't have time.
136
00:05:00,059 --> 00:05:01,726
See?
Fun, right?
137
00:05:01,794 --> 00:05:03,027
[ thud ]
138
00:05:03,095 --> 00:05:04,362
Oh, my --
was that her head?
139
00:05:04,430 --> 00:05:05,830
No, I think if it was her head,
she would be --
140
00:05:05,898 --> 00:05:07,398
[ lily crying ]
141
00:05:07,466 --> 00:05:08,933
Yeah,
that was her head.
142
00:05:09,001 --> 00:05:10,001
Okay, okay.
143
00:05:10,681 --> 00:05:12,448
Mitchell:
Yes, I know.
144
00:05:13,816 --> 00:05:15,550
I got boo-boo bear
from the freezer.
145
00:05:15,618 --> 00:05:17,519
Why do you have chocolate
on your face?
146
00:05:17,587 --> 00:05:18,520
It was under a pie.
147
00:05:18,588 --> 00:05:20,021
So you ate your way
to it?
148
00:05:20,089 --> 00:05:22,123
I made a judgment call.
You weren't there!
149
00:05:22,191 --> 00:05:23,525
Do you think
she's all right?
150
00:05:23,593 --> 00:05:24,759
She didn't cry
that much.
151
00:05:24,827 --> 00:05:26,494
M-maybe that's a bad sign.
You know...
152
00:05:26,562 --> 00:05:28,029
We should try
and make her laugh.
153
00:05:28,097 --> 00:05:30,198
Why?
'cause that's how we'll know
she's okay.
154
00:05:30,266 --> 00:05:31,566
Where's, um...
Where's doggy?
155
00:05:31,634 --> 00:05:32,701
Doggy, doggy.
156
00:05:32,768 --> 00:05:33,868
Here, doggy.
157
00:05:33,936 --> 00:05:35,270
Okay, there you go.
158
00:05:36,839 --> 00:05:38,640
Moo!
159
00:05:38,708 --> 00:05:39,841
But it's a dog.
160
00:05:39,909 --> 00:05:41,543
Yeah, I know.
That's why it's funny.
161
00:05:41,611 --> 00:05:43,778
Moo!
I don't think it's as funny
as you think it is.
162
00:05:43,846 --> 00:05:45,747
Can we please just call
your sister?
No, no.
163
00:05:45,815 --> 00:05:48,216
Cam, cam, why, so she
can be all judgmental
and condescending,
164
00:05:48,284 --> 00:05:50,952
Like she's the expert
and I don't know how to
take care of a baby?
165
00:05:51,020 --> 00:05:53,121
Mitchell,
she is your family.
166
00:05:53,189 --> 00:05:56,891
Of course she's gonna be
judgmental and condescending.
167
00:05:56,959 --> 00:05:58,393
Hello?
168
00:05:58,461 --> 00:05:59,728
Hey, hi.
169
00:05:59,795 --> 00:06:01,496
Uh, not a big deal,
just wondering --
170
00:06:01,564 --> 00:06:03,732
When your kids were small,
did you ever...
171
00:06:03,799 --> 00:06:06,034
I don't know, uh,
smack their heads into a wall?
172
00:06:06,102 --> 00:06:08,069
Usually,
we just gave time-outs.
173
00:06:08,137 --> 00:06:09,237
No, no. Accidentally.
174
00:06:09,305 --> 00:06:11,373
Um, we -- we just kind of
bonked lily's head,
175
00:06:11,440 --> 00:06:13,341
And she --
it really wasn't very hard,
176
00:06:13,409 --> 00:06:15,210
And she's not acting
any differently,
177
00:06:15,277 --> 00:06:16,711
But I just worry --
relax.
178
00:06:16,779 --> 00:06:18,079
It happens.
179
00:06:18,147 --> 00:06:21,149
Luke used to bang his head
all the time, and he's fine.
180
00:06:21,217 --> 00:06:22,684
Okay.
All right, thank you.
181
00:06:22,752 --> 00:06:24,319
Thanks. That helps.
Okay, okay.
182
00:06:24,387 --> 00:06:26,054
We got to take her
to the doctor.
183
00:06:26,122 --> 00:06:27,455
Load up the car.
184
00:06:28,958 --> 00:06:30,058
Jay: Gloria?
185
00:06:30,126 --> 00:06:31,993
I'm here.
186
00:06:32,061 --> 00:06:35,163
I, uh, just dropped manny off
at school,
187
00:06:35,231 --> 00:06:37,232
And I realized...
188
00:06:37,299 --> 00:06:39,401
I just dropped manny off
at school.
189
00:06:39,468 --> 00:06:40,769
Oh, boy.
190
00:06:40,836 --> 00:06:43,638
And I was hoping we'd still have
a few more good years
191
00:06:43,706 --> 00:06:45,206
Before the mind
started to go.
192
00:06:45,274 --> 00:06:46,574
No, what I'm saying...
193
00:06:46,642 --> 00:06:49,544
We have the day to ourselves
for the first time in months.
194
00:06:49,612 --> 00:06:51,279
We should
take advantage of it --
195
00:06:51,347 --> 00:06:52,981
Go to the club...
196
00:06:53,049 --> 00:06:54,749
Nice lunch...
197
00:06:54,817 --> 00:06:56,084
Some massages.
198
00:06:56,152 --> 00:06:57,452
What about work?
199
00:06:57,520 --> 00:06:58,820
I'm the boss.
200
00:06:58,888 --> 00:07:02,624
Since I married you,
people are surprised
I come in at all.
201
00:07:02,692 --> 00:07:03,692
[ chuckles ]
202
00:07:03,759 --> 00:07:05,560
Jay's very spontaneous.
203
00:07:05,628 --> 00:07:09,097
He's always surprising me
with little presents,
204
00:07:09,165 --> 00:07:10,398
Fun getaways.
205
00:07:10,466 --> 00:07:12,434
I wasn't the greatest husband
the first time around,
206
00:07:12,501 --> 00:07:14,502
But I'm trying to do better
this time.
207
00:07:14,570 --> 00:07:17,806
And maybe by my third marriage,
I'll have it down pat.
208
00:07:17,873 --> 00:07:19,007
[ chuckles ]
209
00:07:20,676 --> 00:07:23,278
Yeah, that one's
gonna cost me.
210
00:07:27,583 --> 00:07:28,950
Whatcha reading there,
a book?
211
00:07:29,018 --> 00:07:31,086
Yeah, I've been meaning
to get to it for a while.
212
00:07:31,153 --> 00:07:32,754
Oh, it's got a map
at the beginning.
213
00:07:32,822 --> 00:07:34,089
I like it
when books do that.
214
00:07:34,156 --> 00:07:35,323
Uh-huh.
215
00:07:36,826 --> 00:07:39,094
Do you have an open house
this morning?
216
00:07:39,161 --> 00:07:40,095
I rescheduled.
217
00:07:40,162 --> 00:07:43,164
Thought you might like
some company.
218
00:07:43,232 --> 00:07:44,365
Ahh.
219
00:07:44,433 --> 00:07:45,900
Phil: Well, the first day
of school can be tough
220
00:07:45,968 --> 00:07:47,168
For stay-at-home moms.
221
00:07:47,236 --> 00:07:49,637
Now, you have to understand --
the kids are gone,
222
00:07:49,705 --> 00:07:53,108
The nest is empty,
they are rudderless.
223
00:07:53,175 --> 00:07:56,711
And a lot of guys
wouldn't even notice.
224
00:07:56,779 --> 00:07:59,147
But I'm not a lot of guys.
225
00:07:59,215 --> 00:08:01,716
I listen with my mind,
and if you pay attention,
226
00:08:01,784 --> 00:08:03,551
Women will tell you
what they want
227
00:08:03,619 --> 00:08:05,954
By telling you the opposite
of what they want.
228
00:08:06,021 --> 00:08:08,022
Like, the other day,
claire was like,
229
00:08:08,090 --> 00:08:09,424
"you have to move your car.
230
00:08:09,492 --> 00:08:12,160
There's no space in the garage
for both of our cars."
231
00:08:12,228 --> 00:08:14,629
And what she's really saying
is that, you know,
232
00:08:14,697 --> 00:08:16,731
I should probably get
a sports car.
233
00:08:18,134 --> 00:08:20,568
I was sort of looking forward
to a quiet day.
234
00:08:20,636 --> 00:08:23,371
Thought I'd just read,
maybe...Go for a run later.
235
00:08:23,439 --> 00:08:24,606
That's it.
236
00:08:24,673 --> 00:08:26,274
Great.
We'll run together.
237
00:08:26,342 --> 00:08:29,043
You don't
have to do that.
238
00:08:29,111 --> 00:08:30,278
Know.
239
00:08:34,984 --> 00:08:37,285
Listening.
240
00:08:37,353 --> 00:08:39,420
The thing is,
I like to run alone,
241
00:08:39,488 --> 00:08:42,123
And I run kind of fast,
so...
242
00:08:42,191 --> 00:08:43,091
So...
243
00:08:43,159 --> 00:08:44,459
So, I'm not sure
244
00:08:44,527 --> 00:08:46,528
You're gonna be able
to keep up with me.
245
00:08:46,595 --> 00:08:48,196
[ laughs ]
246
00:08:48,264 --> 00:08:50,665
You're k--
you're kidding, right?
No.
247
00:08:50,733 --> 00:08:52,000
You really think
I can't keep up with you?
248
00:08:52,067 --> 00:08:54,235
I'm not sure you can keep up
with this conversation.
249
00:08:54,303 --> 00:08:56,337
I think you're forgetting
that I power-walk every morning
250
00:08:56,405 --> 00:08:59,207
And that I wear my special ses
with the big soles,
251
00:08:59,275 --> 00:09:01,810
Which were designed
by a doctor.
252
00:09:01,877 --> 00:09:02,911
Yes, I know.
253
00:09:02,978 --> 00:09:05,046
But I run...
Every day.
254
00:09:05,114 --> 00:09:07,682
You really think you can run
as fast as me?
255
00:09:07,750 --> 00:09:11,219
No, phil, I think I can run
much, much faster...
256
00:09:12,488 --> 00:09:13,555
...Than you.
257
00:09:23,599 --> 00:09:24,632
Boom.
258
00:09:24,700 --> 00:09:26,901
Just like that,
the whole day changed.
259
00:09:26,969 --> 00:09:27,969
It was game on.
260
00:09:28,037 --> 00:09:30,238
She knew it. I knew it.
We both knew it.
261
00:09:30,306 --> 00:09:31,339
[ sighs ]
262
00:09:31,407 --> 00:09:33,408
I just want to read.
263
00:09:33,475 --> 00:09:34,910
I think I'll order
what I had the last time.
264
00:09:34,977 --> 00:09:35,611
What was that called?
265
00:09:36,179 --> 00:09:38,647
You just want me to
say it because you want
me to roll my r's.
266
00:09:38,715 --> 00:09:40,115
Come on!
[ trilling ]
reuben.
267
00:09:40,183 --> 00:09:41,083
[ laughs ]
268
00:09:44,170 --> 00:09:45,637
Jay, what is this?
269
00:09:45,705 --> 00:09:47,272
Oh, looks like
my old car cover.
270
00:09:47,339 --> 00:09:49,074
Don't give me that.
This is manny's poncho.
271
00:09:49,141 --> 00:09:50,442
What is it doing here?
272
00:09:50,509 --> 00:09:52,477
Maybe he decided to take it off
on the way to school.
273
00:09:52,545 --> 00:09:54,212
What did you say to him?
Nothing.
274
00:09:54,280 --> 00:09:55,914
I told some jokes.
275
00:09:55,981 --> 00:09:58,249
You said plenty
with your jokes.
276
00:09:58,317 --> 00:09:59,884
Jay, he looks up to you.
277
00:09:59,952 --> 00:10:01,653
He respects your opinion.
278
00:10:01,721 --> 00:10:03,188
We dodged a bullet on this,
trust me.
279
00:10:03,255 --> 00:10:04,856
I've been
down this road before.
280
00:10:04,924 --> 00:10:07,392
I remember one time
mitchell decided to wear
281
00:10:07,460 --> 00:10:08,827
A jaunty scarf to school.
282
00:10:08,894 --> 00:10:10,128
I kept my mouth shut.
283
00:10:10,196 --> 00:10:11,830
He got
his jaunty butt kicked.
284
00:10:11,897 --> 00:10:14,966
My dad has this perception that
I was very flamboyant as a kid,
285
00:10:15,034 --> 00:10:16,701
Which is just --
it's nonsense,
286
00:10:16,769 --> 00:10:19,337
Because I kept the whole
gay thing very under wraps.
287
00:10:19,405 --> 00:10:21,973
You know,
I was just a guy's guy.
288
00:10:22,041 --> 00:10:24,075
I-I was basically a jock.
289
00:10:24,143 --> 00:10:27,045
You know?
290
00:10:27,113 --> 00:10:28,847
So, we should crush
manny's spirit
291
00:10:28,914 --> 00:10:31,382
And destroy everything
that makes him who he is.
292
00:10:31,450 --> 00:10:33,184
I'm just sing,
it's no fun
293
00:10:33,252 --> 00:10:35,353
To see your kid
get picked on every day,
294
00:10:35,421 --> 00:10:37,455
Getting tormented
just because he's different.
295
00:10:37,523 --> 00:10:39,624
Now, I'm telling you,
it rips your heart out.
296
00:10:39,692 --> 00:10:43,027
Well, batman doesn't get
picked on, and he wears a cape.
297
00:10:43,095 --> 00:10:46,297
A poncho is just a cape
that goes all the way around.
298
00:10:46,365 --> 00:10:49,434
Batman doesn't get picked on
because he's a muscular genius.
299
00:10:49,502 --> 00:10:51,536
Manny can't make it
to the top bunk.
300
00:10:51,604 --> 00:10:53,438
We're taking this poncho
to manny at school.
301
00:10:53,506 --> 00:10:56,174
It's important that he knows
that we support m.
302
00:10:57,409 --> 00:11:00,478
And then we go get
those massages.
303
00:11:00,546 --> 00:11:02,347
That sounded good.
304
00:11:06,185 --> 00:11:08,086
I always take the stairs
two at a time.
305
00:11:08,154 --> 00:11:09,921
I don't even think about it
anymore.
306
00:11:09,989 --> 00:11:11,823
The regular way
would seem weird.
307
00:11:11,891 --> 00:11:13,858
Phil, let it go.
I'm faster than you.
308
00:11:13,926 --> 00:11:16,227
If only there was some way
we could settle this
309
00:11:16,295 --> 00:11:19,497
Once and for all,
but how?
310
00:11:19,565 --> 00:11:21,199
Huh.
311
00:11:21,267 --> 00:11:23,134
You seriously
want to race me?
312
00:11:23,202 --> 00:11:25,203
I ran a half marathon
last year.
313
00:11:25,271 --> 00:11:27,272
Wow. I'm half scared.
314
00:11:27,339 --> 00:11:28,540
Okay,
we do need to do this.
315
00:11:28,607 --> 00:11:29,741
I'll go change.
316
00:11:29,809 --> 00:11:31,409
Not now.
I got a conference call.
317
00:11:31,477 --> 00:11:32,710
But how about after that?
318
00:11:32,778 --> 00:11:33,945
Great. This afternoon.
319
00:11:34,013 --> 00:11:36,414
Sweet!
320
00:11:36,482 --> 00:11:38,650
Two at a time,
two at a time, two at a --
321
00:11:38,717 --> 00:11:40,718
Son of a gun,
got to fix that step.
322
00:11:40,786 --> 00:11:42,987
Two at a time,
already at the top, so...
323
00:11:44,323 --> 00:11:46,791
Hi.
I'm dr. Miura.
324
00:11:46,859 --> 00:11:48,159
I'm on call today.
325
00:11:48,227 --> 00:11:49,928
Looks like we have
a little head bump.
326
00:11:49,995 --> 00:11:52,931
Yeah, it happened a couple hours
ago on a doorjamb.
327
00:11:52,998 --> 00:11:54,432
Oh, ouch.
328
00:11:54,500 --> 00:11:55,867
We used to do this thing
in school
329
00:11:55,935 --> 00:11:57,502
Where they would give you
an egg,
330
00:11:57,570 --> 00:11:59,671
And you -- you know,
you couldn't break it.
331
00:11:59,738 --> 00:12:02,574
And it was supposed to teach you
how hard it was to be a parent.
332
00:12:02,641 --> 00:12:03,875
But...
333
00:12:03,943 --> 00:12:07,512
The real thing, it's --
it's -- it's so much harder.
334
00:12:07,580 --> 00:12:09,747
We did that
in my school, too.
335
00:12:09,815 --> 00:12:11,616
It didn't turn out
so well.
336
00:12:11,684 --> 00:12:13,484
Went through a dozen eggs.
337
00:12:13,552 --> 00:12:15,453
Yeah, well,
he's a nervous eater.
338
00:12:15,521 --> 00:12:17,622
No, I broke
a dozen eggs.
Oh.
339
00:12:19,425 --> 00:12:21,259
I'm sorry.
I just assumed that --
340
00:12:21,327 --> 00:12:22,493
I know.
341
00:12:22,561 --> 00:12:24,629
I know
what you assumed.
342
00:12:26,098 --> 00:12:28,132
There doesn't seem to be
any mark.
343
00:12:28,200 --> 00:12:30,668
Well, her head was...
Somewhat protected.
344
00:12:30,736 --> 00:12:31,702
Protected?
345
00:12:31,770 --> 00:12:33,304
Was she wearing
a hat?
346
00:12:33,372 --> 00:12:34,805
Yes, yes.
It was like a hat.
347
00:12:34,873 --> 00:12:36,073
It was a wig.
348
00:12:36,141 --> 00:12:38,943
Actually, sort of
a ghetto-fabulous afro thing.
349
00:12:39,011 --> 00:12:40,978
I thought it might be
medically relevant.
350
00:12:41,046 --> 00:12:41,413
Really?
351
00:12:41,481 --> 00:12:44,283
You thought "ghetto-fabulous"
might be medically relevant?
352
00:12:44,350 --> 00:12:46,418
Maybe I should just finish
with the exam?
353
00:12:46,486 --> 00:12:47,586
Yes. Thanks.
354
00:12:47,654 --> 00:12:49,054
You'll be pleased to know
355
00:12:49,122 --> 00:12:51,657
That mitchell and I
intend on raising lily
356
00:12:51,724 --> 00:12:54,092
With influences
from her asian heritage.
357
00:12:54,860 --> 00:12:56,895
That is fantastic.
358
00:12:56,962 --> 00:12:59,564
Have you noticed any vomiting
since the head bump?
359
00:12:59,632 --> 00:13:00,765
Uh, no. No, no.
360
00:13:00,833 --> 00:13:02,834
We've hung some art in her room,
some asian art,
361
00:13:02,902 --> 00:13:05,069
And then when she's ready
for solid food,
362
00:13:05,137 --> 00:13:06,838
There is a fantastic
pho place
363
00:13:06,906 --> 00:13:08,973
Right around the corner
from our house.
364
00:13:09,041 --> 00:13:11,009
Am I pronouncing that
right?
365
00:13:11,076 --> 00:13:13,344
Is it "pho"?
[fuh]
366
00:13:13,412 --> 00:13:14,779
It's a soup.
367
00:13:14,847 --> 00:13:16,514
I don't know.
368
00:13:16,582 --> 00:13:18,449
I'm from denver.
369
00:13:18,517 --> 00:13:22,287
We don't have
a lot of...Pho there.
370
00:13:22,354 --> 00:13:24,322
Just to be sure,
371
00:13:24,390 --> 00:13:27,358
Could you show me
how hard lily got hit?
372
00:13:27,426 --> 00:13:28,993
And u-- use your head.
373
00:13:29,061 --> 00:13:31,930
Oh, yeah, so, I mean,
really, it was...
374
00:13:31,997 --> 00:13:34,532
It was just
sort of like, um...
375
00:13:34,600 --> 00:13:36,634
Could I see that
again?
376
00:13:36,702 --> 00:13:39,704
Um, it was just --
just a head bump, you know?
377
00:13:39,772 --> 00:13:41,339
How are you feeling?
378
00:13:41,407 --> 00:13:42,607
Uh, fine.
379
00:13:42,675 --> 00:13:43,808
So is lily.
380
00:13:44,276 --> 00:13:46,944
Babies are designed
to survive new parents.
381
00:13:47,012 --> 00:13:49,747
So stop worrying.
You guys are doing great.
382
00:13:49,815 --> 00:13:51,615
Thank you.
383
00:13:53,552 --> 00:13:55,386
Denver.
384
00:14:04,010 --> 00:14:05,143
I don't see any ponchos,
385
00:14:05,211 --> 00:14:07,312
Which means either the kids
don't wear them
386
00:14:07,380 --> 00:14:09,214
Or the ones who do wear them
disappear.
387
00:14:09,282 --> 00:14:10,716
We're doing
the right thing.
388
00:14:10,783 --> 00:14:12,551
I support manny
no matter what.
389
00:14:12,619 --> 00:14:15,053
Children need to know
that you believe in them.
390
00:14:15,121 --> 00:14:16,855
It's the most
important thing.
391
00:14:16,923 --> 00:14:18,790
If you tell them
they have wings,
392
00:14:18,858 --> 00:14:20,592
They will believe
they can fly.
393
00:14:20,660 --> 00:14:21,760
Oh, really?
394
00:14:21,828 --> 00:14:24,162
I had a buddy
went to woodstock,
395
00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,698
Believed he could fly --
didn't end great.
396
00:14:26,766 --> 00:14:29,568
It's why hotel windows
don't open anymore.
397
00:14:31,104 --> 00:14:33,372
Is something wrong?
Who's died?
398
00:14:33,439 --> 00:14:34,473
No one, manny.
399
00:14:34,540 --> 00:14:36,108
Why would you even
think that?
400
00:14:36,175 --> 00:14:39,044
In colombia, manny went to
pablo escobar elementary school.
401
00:14:39,112 --> 00:14:40,946
If you were
pulled out of class,
402
00:14:41,014 --> 00:14:42,981
It was definitely
to identify a body.
403
00:14:43,049 --> 00:14:44,316
Well, we got
your poncho here.
404
00:14:44,384 --> 00:14:45,951
I thought you said
it made me look like
405
00:14:46,019 --> 00:14:47,219
My neck
was wearing a dress.
406
00:14:47,287 --> 00:14:48,253
That was a joke.
407
00:14:48,321 --> 00:14:49,554
Oh, good
it's still in the pocket.
408
00:14:49,622 --> 00:14:50,989
What do you got there,
buddy?
409
00:14:51,057 --> 00:14:52,124
My pan flute.
410
00:14:52,191 --> 00:14:53,725
I'm going to play
some colombian folk music
411
00:14:53,793 --> 00:14:54,793
For my new classmates.
412
00:14:54,861 --> 00:14:55,961
Huh. Great.
413
00:14:56,029 --> 00:14:59,298
I've never been
more proud of you.
414
00:14:59,365 --> 00:15:01,933
I'm sure your friends
are gonna love it.
415
00:15:02,001 --> 00:15:03,535
Break the flute.
What?
416
00:15:03,603 --> 00:15:05,971
The poncho by itself
is fine.
417
00:15:06,039 --> 00:15:09,675
The poncho plus the flute
plus the stupid dance --
418
00:15:09,742 --> 00:15:12,144
My son will die a virgin.
419
00:15:12,211 --> 00:15:13,612
That's right.
420
00:15:13,680 --> 00:15:16,748
Hey, sport, can I take a look
at that whistle?
421
00:15:16,816 --> 00:15:19,318
Oh, geez,
look at that!
422
00:15:19,385 --> 00:15:21,520
And now you stepped
on it!
What?
423
00:15:21,587 --> 00:15:25,357
Oh, darn!
Wh-what's wrong with me?!
424
00:15:26,225 --> 00:15:28,126
Here, let me get it.
425
00:15:28,194 --> 00:15:29,361
Thank you.
426
00:15:29,429 --> 00:15:31,496
You know what, actually,
maybe you should do this.
427
00:15:31,564 --> 00:15:33,465
Why?
I-I don't want to
bump her head against the door,
428
00:15:33,533 --> 00:15:35,200
You know,
pinch her with the seat belt.
429
00:15:35,268 --> 00:15:38,003
Mitchell, how long are
you gonna beat yourself
up over one mistake?
430
00:15:38,071 --> 00:15:40,272
Is this gonna be like the bld
highlights all over again?
431
00:15:40,340 --> 00:15:41,273
I just...
432
00:15:41,341 --> 00:15:43,275
I think I suck
at being a father.
433
00:15:43,343 --> 00:15:44,910
What are you
talking about?
434
00:15:44,977 --> 00:15:46,044
We're new at this.
435
00:15:46,112 --> 00:15:47,512
Yeah, but you're such
a natural.
436
00:15:47,580 --> 00:15:48,613
I mean, look at you.
437
00:15:48,681 --> 00:15:50,248
You walk into the room,
and she lights up.
438
00:15:50,316 --> 00:15:52,184
You -- you change her diaper
with one hand.
439
00:15:52,251 --> 00:15:53,385
I -- nice.
440
00:15:53,453 --> 00:15:55,153
I'm actually jealous
of you.
441
00:15:55,221 --> 00:15:58,056
There are so many things
that you do that I can't.
442
00:15:58,124 --> 00:16:00,492
You -- you baby-proofed
the entire house.
443
00:16:00,560 --> 00:16:02,861
You took care of all
the adoption paperwork.
444
00:16:02,929 --> 00:16:05,097
Without you, we wouldn't even
have a baby to injure.
445
00:16:05,164 --> 00:16:06,198
Just a couple of forms.
446
00:16:06,265 --> 00:16:08,033
Actually,
that was a lot of paperwork.
447
00:16:08,101 --> 00:16:10,402
And you got her on all those
preschool waiting lists.
448
00:16:10,470 --> 00:16:13,071
I can't believe you
were gonna wait until
she was old enough.
449
00:16:13,139 --> 00:16:15,440
You see, that's what makes us
a great team.
450
00:16:15,508 --> 00:16:17,275
We each have
our own strengths.
451
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:18,944
Now...
452
00:16:19,011 --> 00:16:20,545
Who are
amazing parents?
453
00:16:20,613 --> 00:16:22,147
We are.
I can't hear you.
454
00:16:22,215 --> 00:16:23,281
We are!
455
00:16:23,349 --> 00:16:25,550
Don't you forget it.
Okay.
456
00:16:28,421 --> 00:16:30,355
Did we just lock our baby
in the car?
457
00:16:30,423 --> 00:16:31,656
Did you put the keys
in the bag?!
458
00:16:31,724 --> 00:16:33,425
I put the keys in the bag.
That's what we always --
459
00:16:33,493 --> 00:16:35,327
Oh, mitchell, I told you not to
put the keys in the bag!
460
00:16:35,395 --> 00:16:36,795
Don't freak out.
Come on, don't freak out!
461
00:16:36,863 --> 00:16:38,029
Lily, it's okay!
462
00:16:38,097 --> 00:16:38,997
* a, b, c, d,
e, f, g *
463
00:16:39,065 --> 00:16:40,632
What,
are you singing to her?
464
00:16:40,700 --> 00:16:42,601
People get arrested
for this, mitchell!
We have to keep her calm.
465
00:16:42,668 --> 00:16:45,837
* h, I, j, k,
l, m, n, o, p *
466
00:16:45,905 --> 00:16:48,106
Do all four doors lock?!
Do you have a phone?!
467
00:16:48,174 --> 00:16:50,609
[ dance music playing ]
what?
468
00:16:50,676 --> 00:16:51,877
I didn't say anything.
469
00:16:51,944 --> 00:16:54,112
I couldn't hear you.
I'm cranking one of my mash-ups.
470
00:16:54,180 --> 00:16:55,614
Oh.
471
00:16:55,681 --> 00:16:56,815
Hey, hey!
472
00:16:56,883 --> 00:16:57,983
There they are.
473
00:16:58,050 --> 00:17:00,585
How was the first day
back in prison?
474
00:17:00,653 --> 00:17:02,921
Fine.
Yeah.
475
00:17:02,989 --> 00:17:05,557
What are youuys
doing?
476
00:17:05,625 --> 00:17:09,327
Your mom and I are racing to
the mailbox on sequoia and back.
477
00:17:09,395 --> 00:17:10,662
Why?
478
00:17:10,730 --> 00:17:13,331
I don't know.
Oh, she knows.
479
00:17:13,399 --> 00:17:15,801
Hey, buddy, as soon
as I'm done kicking a
little mom butt here,
480
00:17:15,868 --> 00:17:17,536
How about I school you
in some mariokart?
481
00:17:17,603 --> 00:17:19,538
Can't.
Got to work on my journal.
482
00:17:19,605 --> 00:17:21,006
Lame!
483
00:17:21,073 --> 00:17:23,208
Hey, uh, alex, you?
484
00:17:23,276 --> 00:17:25,043
I have a history paper.
485
00:17:25,111 --> 00:17:26,611
Well, if you want see
a little history
486
00:17:26,679 --> 00:17:28,079
Being made right here --
not really.
487
00:17:28,147 --> 00:17:30,482
Okay.
[ door closes ]
488
00:17:31,517 --> 00:17:32,684
Ready?
489
00:17:32,752 --> 00:17:34,753
Are you?
I was born ready.
490
00:17:34,821 --> 00:17:37,322
I came out of the womb
wearing tiny, little, golden...
491
00:17:37,390 --> 00:17:38,657
Go!
...Wings.
492
00:17:40,193 --> 00:17:41,493
I'm breaking the window!
493
00:17:41,561 --> 00:17:43,395
Trina: Emergency assistance.
This is trina.
494
00:17:43,463 --> 00:17:46,231
Help! We locked our
baby in the car, and
people are judging us!
495
00:17:46,299 --> 00:17:47,833
I swear to god,
I'm gonna break it!
496
00:17:47,900 --> 00:17:50,001
Do not break the window!
You'll get glass on her!
497
00:17:50,069 --> 00:17:51,369
Sir, please tell your wife
to relax.
498
00:17:51,437 --> 00:17:52,838
Everything
is going to be okay.
499
00:17:52,905 --> 00:17:54,339
That's a man.
Really?
500
00:17:54,407 --> 00:17:56,274
Don't worry, lily!
Lily, daddy's coming for you!
501
00:17:56,342 --> 00:17:58,176
Sir, we just sent
the signal.
502
00:17:58,244 --> 00:17:59,311
The door
should be unlocked now.
503
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:00,412
Check -- check the door.
504
00:18:00,480 --> 00:18:01,913
Check the door,
check the door.
505
00:18:01,981 --> 00:18:03,315
It's not unlocked!
506
00:18:03,382 --> 00:18:04,583
Oh!
507
00:18:04,650 --> 00:18:06,017
[ panting ] oh.
Okay.
508
00:18:06,085 --> 00:18:07,152
That is amazing.
509
00:18:07,220 --> 00:18:08,320
How did they do that?
510
00:18:08,387 --> 00:18:09,588
I don't know.
It's just --
511
00:18:09,655 --> 00:18:11,857
We got it. Thank you.
Did that come
from space?
512
00:18:11,924 --> 00:18:13,925
Claire:
I run five miles a day.
513
00:18:13,993 --> 00:18:16,061
I have a resting heart rate
of 48.
514
00:18:16,128 --> 00:18:19,097
There is no way I'm going
to lose a two-mile race
515
00:18:19,165 --> 00:18:20,365
To johnny ski pole.
516
00:18:20,433 --> 00:18:23,301
[ breathing heavily ]
517
00:18:23,369 --> 00:18:25,203
Just saving
my energy...
518
00:18:25,271 --> 00:18:26,872
Drafting off of you.
519
00:18:28,174 --> 00:18:30,108
You feeling cocky?
520
00:18:30,176 --> 00:18:31,343
Yeah, I am.
521
00:18:31,410 --> 00:18:33,144
[ laughs ]
522
00:18:33,212 --> 00:18:34,479
I love it!
523
00:18:34,547 --> 00:18:36,615
But after seeing
that t-shirt,
524
00:18:36,682 --> 00:18:38,149
I realized something.
525
00:18:39,986 --> 00:18:43,722
The first day of school
is tough on all my kids,
526
00:18:43,789 --> 00:18:46,358
Especially
the one I married.
527
00:18:47,927 --> 00:18:49,094
Boo boo boop!
528
00:18:49,161 --> 00:18:51,363
Afterburners engaged!
529
00:18:51,430 --> 00:18:52,531
Ooh!
530
00:18:52,598 --> 00:18:54,866
Don't choke
on my smoke!
531
00:18:54,934 --> 00:18:57,435
And down the stretch
he goes!
532
00:18:57,503 --> 00:18:59,871
I don't believe it!
533
00:18:59,939 --> 00:19:01,506
Daddy wins!
534
00:19:01,574 --> 00:19:03,642
Do you believe
in miracles?!
535
00:19:03,709 --> 00:19:06,144
U.S.A.!
U.S.-- Oh, no!
536
00:19:06,212 --> 00:19:07,479
Claire: Oh, geez!
537
00:19:07,547 --> 00:19:08,480
[ gasps ]
538
00:19:08,548 --> 00:19:09,714
Oh, my --
539
00:19:09,782 --> 00:19:11,516
What was that?!
Was that a person?!
540
00:19:11,584 --> 00:19:12,851
I'm good!
Dad?!
541
00:19:12,919 --> 00:19:13,952
I'm good!
542
00:19:14,020 --> 00:19:16,922
I'm good!
Whoo!
Are you okay?
543
00:19:16,989 --> 00:19:18,790
You're getting better,
sweetheart.
544
00:19:21,060 --> 00:19:24,963
Did I lose the race
to make him feel better?
545
00:19:25,031 --> 00:19:26,932
Maybe.
546
00:19:26,999 --> 00:19:30,435
But it just seemed like
he could use a win today.
547
00:19:35,808 --> 00:19:38,643
We do strange things
for the people we love.
548
00:19:38,711 --> 00:19:40,445
We lie to them.
549
00:19:40,513 --> 00:19:42,113
We lie for them.
550
00:19:45,651 --> 00:19:48,386
There may beome bumps
along the way,
551
00:19:48,454 --> 00:19:51,590
But we never stop wanting
the best for them.
552
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:54,559
That's what makes it
such a tough job...
553
00:19:54,627 --> 00:19:57,996
But kind of the best job
in the world.
554
00:20:00,533 --> 00:20:02,701
What are you doing?!
Keep your eyes on the road!
555
00:20:02,768 --> 00:20:04,269
Eyes on the road!
Oh, my god!
556
00:20:04,337 --> 00:20:05,119
Oh, my...
557
00:20:08,942 --> 00:20:11,110
[ siray.Wails ]
oh. Uh-oh.Kay.
558
00:20:11,178 --> 00:20:12,445
All right, sweetie,
this happens.
559
00:20:12,512 --> 00:20:13,879
Remain calm.
That's the first thing.
560
00:20:13,947 --> 00:20:15,748
Pull over right here.
I'll get out the registration.
561
00:20:15,816 --> 00:20:17,483
Mom, I don't like cops.
Okay, pull over
right there.
562
00:20:17,551 --> 00:20:19,719
I don't like cops.
All right,
there's a space right here.
563
00:20:19,786 --> 00:20:20,986
I can't pull over.
No, I can't.
564
00:20:21,054 --> 00:20:22,054
You need to pull over.
565
00:20:22,122 --> 00:20:23,456
I can't pull over.
I don't like cops.
566
00:20:23,523 --> 00:20:24,857
You got to pull over.
No can do.
567
00:20:24,925 --> 00:20:26,158
I got priors.
I'm speeding up.
568
00:20:26,226 --> 00:20:27,693
The parking ticket
from the mall --
569
00:20:27,761 --> 00:20:29,128
I never paid
the parking ticket!
570
00:20:29,196 --> 00:20:30,296
Keep moving, sweetheart!
571
00:20:30,363 --> 00:20:31,597
Dad agrees with me --
I can speed up!
572
00:20:31,665 --> 00:20:33,799
[ siren wails ]
it's not a movie, haley!
Pull over!
573
00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:39,800
Sync by honeybunny
www.addic7ed.com
574
00:00:00,500 --> 00:00:02,000
www.tvsubtitles.net
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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