Original subtitles

Downloaded from YTS.MX

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[whirring]

[man] Shotown Pictures.

-♪ [funk] -Oh, Lord.

♪ This is a story about a famous dog ♪

♪ For the dog that chases its tail ♪

♪ He will be dizzy

♪ It's a dancin' dog

♪ Street dog, harmonic dog ♪

♪ Dogs of the world unite

♪ Street dog, house dog ♪

♪ Harmonic dog

♪ Funkyard dog

♪ Dirty, nasty, hutchy dog ♪

-♪ Dog -♪ Atomic dog

♪ Atomic dog

♪ Like the boys when you're walkin' ♪

-♪ Down the street -♪ When you're out there

♪ Walkin' the street

-♪ They can't compete -♪ Can't compete

♪ Talkin' 'bout the dog in ya ♪

-♪ With the dog in ya -♪ Bow-wow-wow

♪ Yippie-yo-yippie-yay

♪ Bow-wow- yippie-yo-yippie-yay ♪

♪ Bow-wow-wow- yippie-yo-yippie-yay ♪

♪ Bow-wow- yippie-yo-yippie-yay ♪

-♪ Like the boys when you're -♪ A top dog

-♪ Walkin' down the street -♪ In an automatic society

-♪ I ain't your average -♪ They can't compete

-♪ Huckleberry hound -♪ Nothin' but the dog in ya

-♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh -♪ Why must I feel like that

[boy] Huh, bam!

That's right, y'all fools can't faze me.

Give me my money.

[both] Man!

I was so close.

-I wasn't. -Ha!

[Mykell] Clean this mess up, my mama come out.

Mykell, I need you to run down to the store for me.

What for Momma?

I need a loaf of bread and two loose cigarettes.

Now.

Take this money and get your rusty behind in gear.

All right. Dang.

When are you gonna get that bucket fixed, anyway?

When I can afford to.

But in the meantime, I got you.

Now hurry back,

unless you like cold eggs and grits.

[giggling]

Get on outta here.

[Mykell] As long as I can remember,

the corner store has always been there.

Every neighborhood's got one.

They sell everything from pop and chips,

to medicine, lottery tickets and newspapers.

I remember how grown up I felt the first time

Momma let me make the trip, solo.

-Yeah, that's Mykell. -I swear that's him.

-Yeah, that is him, man! -Hey, little punk!

I know you stole my iPod, little boy.

Man, whatever. My dad found that!

That's why you flunked first grade.

Boy, who you talkin' to?

You let him talk to you like that? You better get him!

-[grunting] -You throw like a girl!

Man, shut up, man! I'm surprised he didn't catch it.

-You know he like rocks like his daddy! -You suck, man.

[Mykell] You see everybody from the 'hood coming and going.

Morning, Miss Johnson.

Good morning, baby.

-How you been doing? -Good.

-How's ya momma? -She okay.

All right, tell her I wanna use you on my taxes next year.

[Mykell] A lot can happen on the corner.

This is a story of one day on the corner 'round my way.

♪ [R&B]

-[phone ringing] -[beeping]

[Gerard] This is the Jenkins' residence,

home of Earl, Gerard--

[Gail] And of course, me, Gail.

We're currently unavailable to take your call

so please leave a brief--

[Gerard] And I mean brief message--

[both] and we'll get back to you.

-There he is, here he comes! -Oh, my God!

-[cameras clicking] -[chattering]

Hey what's up, hi!

Let me get through.

-[cheering] -[hooting]

-Could you sign this? -Oh why sure, I sure can.

[phone ringing]

Hold the flash son, hold the flash everyone--

-Sir, you have a call. -[phone ringing]

-[cheering] -[cameras clicking]

[beeping]

G, pick up the phone, it's me, Gail.

-No, no, no, not today! -G, pick up.

I called your cell like nine times,

I need you to cover for me.

all right, hey, I'm on my way to Cedar Point,

so good lookin' out, baby bro.

Oh, and happy birthday, Big Head.

-You know I didn't forget-- -[phone beeps]

-Hello, Gail? Gail! -[phone clicks]

Gail!

Man.

[phone ringing]

Hell no, take your sorry, trifling ass to work.

Damn, I just wanted to wish my man a happy birthday.

Hey, what's wrong with your cellphone?

-I called you. -Sorry, babe.

-I left my phone in my room. -Well, you know what?

After I'm done with this, how 'bout I freshen up

and come over there, you can tell me all about it later?

[lips smacking]

[laughs] Bye.

[man] Look at this fool right here.

[woman] Something's wrong with him.

[man] Loser.

-Sorry. -Where's Gail?

I thought she worked weekends!

You and me both, kid, she bailed on me.

Man, I've been here for 15 minutes.

My mom is goin' kill me, and if she kills me,

I'ma kill you!

I was about to walk down to the Ay-rab store.

What's wrong with Choi's?

We owe him $10 already.

You oughta be ashamed of yo'self.

Right on.

See, boy, you know, you over a half an hour late.

-Mm! -Now,

you wouldn't wanna know

what I did to my hoes when they was late.

[chuckles] Boy, he still talkin' about hoes.

The only hoes we ever seen you wit

is the hoes in the bottom of them shoe!

I'm lyin', I'm lyin' huh?

Pick your foot up, lift it up, lift it up, man.

-[laughing] -Go on, see?

Listen, young blood, what we tryin' to tell you, man,

is show some pride.

Yo daddy's tryin' to build a legacy, man!

Hold on, at least I got a job to be late for.

Gerard, I've been coming to this store

for about 23 years now.

And not one time has your daddy ever

opened up the store this damn late.

It's a shame how you actin'.

Open the doggone door up, Chris Brown.

Lookin' like Alicia Keys with a mustache.

[smooth jazz]

Look here, Kanye North,

now how much you say that was again?

Jim, all three of y'all come here everyday

and buy one of three things.

Wild Irish Rose,

Mad Dog 20/20,

or Boone's Farm Strawberry.

$2.65, come on.

You ain't said nothing but a word, I got my--

You got your money? Let me-- Where your money at?

Got mine, playa.

-I've got 40 cents, baby. -Where your money at, Kato?

-Right here, baby. -You got 40. That's all you got?

-Damn. -[door chimes]

There's my baby right there, huh?

God is good all the time.

-Baby! -Hey, baby.

[Jim] You right on time, baby.

I'm always on time.

What, you went to Bell Isle and got these bottles?

Come on, baby, I've been selling mine to Bell Isle.

-What? -Hello. I'm your pusher, baby!

[laughing]

Mm-mm-mm. How you doin', Miss Johnson?

Good morning to you, sweetie.

All right, 23 bottles, Miss Johnson.

$2.30 just for you.

Now, hold on, hold on, baby,

you ain't gonna do nothin' but lose this, okay?

Let me hold onto this, all right?

I ain't goin' do nothin' but lose my damn mind

if I don't get that hot cheese popcorn I want.

-Well go and-- -That's all I want.

-Go on and get 'em. -All right.

Baby, let me, um-- Why don't you grab me somethin' back here?

Yeah, I'll grab you somethin'.

A 40-ounce of mouthwash.

[laughing]

See if they got some breath mint with a battery in it.

-Hey, listen, Big Jim, dog. -Mm?

I know that that's your girl and everything.

But your girl is a trip.

Hold on, Miss Johnson don't bother nobody,

unlike all three of y'all just begging folks all day,

'specially you, Eddie.

Hey, whoa, whoa, whoa, hold on, home slice.

Nah, man, we don't beg, man.

We solicit.

Instead of getting that half a pint,

we gonna upgrade to a full pint.

-Ah-ha! -Oh!

There better not be no bus tokens, Canadian,

or casino chips in here.

Man, money is money.

I suggest you get you some.

-That's right. -[laughing]

Let's get blew out right quick.

Hey, you take it easy, like George and Weezy, young blood.

[Kato] Yeah.

[Jim] Come on outta here, baby!

-[door chimes] -[door closes]

[phone ringing]

9:01, I called up there, no answer, okay?

9:16, I called up, no answer.

9:24, I called up, no answer.

It's now 9:42, and you are stone-cold busted, young lady.

-Dad, it's me. -Huh, where Gail at?

She went to Cedar Point.

Cedar Point again?

Always something with that sister of yours.

-You mean your daughter. -Look, you talk to that girl,

tell her I need to talk to her right away.

-Sure thing Pop. -[clicking]

[dial tone]

♪ [hip hop]

Look at this brother. What you got,

helium under that shirt?

You look like that skull on your belt.

You look like a big grown-up gay action figure.

♪

[Mykell] Nobody knew where Nazario's from.

And he wasn't the biggest dude on the block,

but everybody was scared of him.

Well, almost everybody.

My main man, Nacho, what's happening?

Nah, man, that--that boy there,

that's Al Pistachio.

Hey, man, I really dig that shirt.

What's that, paisley?

Nah, I'm just messin' with you, man.

You know your gear always tight, Zorro.

It's Nazario. This is 100% silk.

What you know about that?

What, he goin' ask me what I know about--

Hey, brother, let me tell you something.

I wore so much silk back in my pimpin' days,

they used to call me Silk Worm.

More like Ringworm.

Yeah, now they just call him Polyester.

Hey, Nazario, dig this here, baby.

You always on the west side.

They ain't got not one liquor store

you can go to in Southwest?

There is no place that Nazario don't touch.

East Side, West Side,

your side, my side.

-Homo-cide. -Homo-side?

Man, he said homo's side.

I don't drink homogenized milk,

-I drink 2%. -[Eddie] Hey, man,

that's the homo on his side right there.

-Dig this here man. -[door chiming]

I ain't scared of that big sucker.

I'll knock him and Beto's ass out.

Why you over here whispering it to me then?

'Cause my throat hurt.

[Jim] What size is that shirt, it's medium?

[Eddie] [chuckles] You look like a Avatar fetus.

Hola, Negrito.

Oh, Nazario.

♪

Nazario, what's up, man?

Hey, I like that piece you did on the side of Lou's,

that was dope.

Gracias, amigo.

But the damn CD's covering up all my art.

What?

-They just covered up that one, too.

No way. That's too bad, man.

Where's Gail?

She blew off work to go to Cedar Point.

I swear that girl is one of a kind.

Yeah, she is, man, but um, hey, what can I do for you?

You want a Slurpee, or some chips or something, what's up?

Well, your sissy and I got a little deal going.

Sometimes, she babysit for me.

Aw, man, I didn't know you had a kid.

I got three kids, but I'm talking about loot,

not shorties.

I'm meeting somebody near here later

about some birds.

-Birds? -Yeah, birds.

So, I need you to hold onto these ten G's for me.

Oh, oh, oh, man. Ten grand.

Those must be some exotic parrots.

Yeah, the all white kind.

Um...

Nazario, I'd like to help you,

but I really--

But my ass!

Don't tell me your sister got more huevosthan you.

All right, just this once, Nazario.

Where's Derrick?

He usually posts it up in here like a damn scarecrow.

Around, I guess, I don't know, you know him.

When you see him, you tell him,

we got some unfinished business.

Yeah, sure thing.

I'm feeling lucky today.

Gimme 10 scratch-offs, I might win some millions.

No problem.

♪

Well, if it ain't Malcolm X, Y, and Z.

Yo, Ray, baby, what's happening?

Look at my man, brother's bean pies and bow ties, huh?

I'll gladly pay you Tuesday,

for one of them fat-ass bean pies today [laughs]!

Maybe Jesus works on credit,

but the Prophet Muhammad's blessings are cash and carry.

Hey, man, ain't nobody trying to hear that

in the middle of the street shit!

Now you keep talking, man,

I'm gonna call homeland security

on your militant ass.

Yeah, and don't think 'cause Obama in the White House

they won't ship yo ass back to Guantanamo Bay. [laughs]

-On the house. -Gracias.

♪

[door chiming]

Watch out!

Phony-ass Farrakhan.

[laughing]

[door chiming]

As-salamu alaykum, Brother G.

Rasheed, what's up, man?

Special delivery from Sister Shabazz's Bakery.

-Mm. -Mm-hm.

-Smells good. -Oh, yeah.

Hey, man, what do we owe you?

$20.

We take Founding Fathers in every denomination,

checks, money orders, promissory notes

and credit cards.

You know what? It's early, I'm low on change.

Come back later and I'll hook you up.

Hey, no worries, just take care of me later, cousin.

See, the bean pie is nature's secret weapon.

-Uh-hmm. -Mm-hm,

screw that Holly Dadison,

Little Betty and them Beebler Elves.

Right on. You know what?

I always thought Willy Wonka shoulda been

black and from Detroit,

Who else wears a purple coat and a top hat, you know?

Straight pimp gear.

And pimpin' is what the snack food companies

do to our communities!

Take this honey bar, for a example.

See, what they don't tell you is,

this thing is loaded with pork.

No way. Word?

Riboflavin, mono nitrate, shorteners.

This thing is loaded with pork and swine byproduct.

I'll straighten that out for you, cuz.

-Yeah man you shoulda seen-- -Now she don't got to work.

[indistinct chatter]

Oh man, somebody's up here!

Look at this fool, man.

He must need to borrow some money,

got his hands all deep in his pockets like that.

Nah, you know what? I done heard about

being on your knuckles.

Damn, he's down to the white meat.

[laughing]

Well, if it ain't my favorite rap group, BWA,

Bums With Attitude. What, y'all on tour?

Yo, Derrick, what's up with that 20 you owe me?

Fool, you wish you ever owned a 20 for me to owe you.

You better wake up and smell the garbage, man.

Come on, brother, now you know good and well

I had the Lakers and Kobe did his thing.

Man, it was a good game.

See now, clearly, your view from the alley

must be gettin' real dim,

'cause LA lost 98-91, fool,

and you ain't bet on the game, no way.

Yo, man, what's the line on tonight's game?

[Derrick] Laker's by five. Why, man?

Because, man, I wanna make sure that

my bet go through this time.

Put me down for five, please?

Damn! Who you get this five from,

Abe Lincoln himself?

Look like you been making love to this five, man.

Look, man, you should see what do with 20s.

-[scoffing] -Now, if you don't like it,

you can always give it back, D.

Where the hell you get some money from?

You been cryin' broke all day.

Yo momma. She probably paid her back taxes

when she was ho'ing for me back in the day.

See, you don't need to worry about all that.

Uh, I'm worried, Eddie.

'Cause you still owe me $10.

Huh? And what you got on the next bottle, anyway?

Lips and fingertips.

I got a lot of work to do, man. Come back later,

we can kick it then, all right?

All right, but you really need to come to the mosque.

There's a lot of young brothers your age

seeking knowledge of self, man.

-Oh, yeah, I bet. -Seriously.

-What's up my nig-- -Ah!

We buried that, remember?

Well, I just dug the nigga back up, nig.

Anyways, like I was saying, when these brothers--

[crunching]

When they come into the mosque they--

[crunching]

You know...

they say skins is made from every part of the pig.

Did you know that, bro?

But I'll save you some.

Pig balls.

I don't indulge myself in fried flesh.

Is that right?

I just saw your black Bishop Tutu ass

at the mall the other day, mm-hm.

I'm sure I saw you out there

feeding that white girl a McRib.

Brother.

She's my fiancée, she's light-skinned,

and that was a veggie burger with extra ketchup!

-Pig toe? -You know what?

I'll talk to you later, cousin.

All right, Rasheed.

-Heathen. -Phony.

As-sa love some bacon too, my brother.

-[door chiming] -We hookin' up pig ass

in the back!

-[door chiming] -You crazy, man.

That clown, man, with all that black--

Hey, Nazario came out here looking for you earlier.

-For real? -Yeah.

Damn! What, he stalking me, man?

I ain't been nowhere near southwest, dude.

Mm-hm, I told you about dealin' with him, dog.

You're brooming on my boots, man.

My bad. I told you about dealing with him, dog.

Listen, listen, for real, dude,

don't start that I-told-you, not today.

We gonna be some fighting--

Don't start that I-told-you today, dude.

-All right. -I'm stressed out about this, man.

All right, not today.

Eh, where Gail at?

-Cedar Point. -Again?

Damn, she just went last week!

No, that was King's Island last week.

[scoffs] What's she riding, the Semen Drop?

You know they got rooms out there, right?

-Man. -Derrick, seriously?

-I'm just telling you, bro. -All I know is

she need to be here working this shift and not me.

Yeah, she do need to be here.

Deal with my man.

-What up, dog? -What's happening?

Put that away for you.

♪

Hey, where that chick at that work here?

That cute face, them nice "breasteses"?

[laughing]

-Oh, no. -Man that's my sister, man.

-My bad, dog. -$6.54, man.

♪

Oh, no, man.

[Gerard] We don't take food stamps.

What kind of store is this?

The kind that don't take food stamps,

little manish-ass boy.

-In this 'hood? -In this 'hood.

-Oh, y'all are trippin'. -Yeah, we trippin'.

-I'm goin' to Choi's. -Yeah, you go over to Choi's.

And don't bring your little broke ass back

-'til you get some money. -[door chiming]

Can't stand them little young ones.

-I can't, man. -Man!

You gotta stop provoking my customers, man!

-What-- -He can't buy my dad

a new door with food stamps.

Man, my Uncle Don bought a whole house with food stamps.

What you talking about?

And that little fool got a point.

How in the hell is y'all a store in the 'hood

and y'all don't sell to food stamps?

-Listen-- -Man, that's unheard of.

-Dad is old school, man. -Too old school.

He voted Republican in every election since Nixon.

Yo dad ain't vote for Obama?

Man, your father ain't vote for Obama?

Man, no.

He don't believe in the welfare state.

Colin Powell ass-- Y'all missing thousands of dollars a day

'cause everybody goin' across the street to Choi's, man.

Let me worry about what's going on over here.

You worry about what's going on over there.

♪

Since you stuck here, I might as well stick around

and keep your black ass company.

Derrick that's what you do everyday, man.

Why should my birthday be any different?

It ain't yo birthday.

You knew it was my birthday, man, stop playin'.

Oh, snap, it is your birthday!

Dog, I'm taking you to Starvin' Marvin.

I don't know, man, Kelly and I got plans.

Probably grab something to eat, catch a movie,

you know, the usual.

Fool, do I look like Kelly? Don't lie to me.

Plus, I know for a fact you still tappin' big booty Donna.

-No, I'm not. -Oh yeah, for sure.

Don't think I'll be seeing your car over there, right?

I'm about to squash that, though.

For-- for-- Oh, you about, yeah.

-I am, I am, for real, man. -[laughing]

-Yeah, right. -Kelly's good to me, man.

Besides, I'm tired of all them games Donna been playing.

I ain't told you, she been trippin' lately.

-Oh, now she crazy. -I'm serious!

First it was the crazy booty she had,

-but now she's crazy. -Nah, I think she is, man.

Boy, please, don't try that boyfriend junk with me.

When I get your Starvin' Marvin's, dude,

and I go up in there and I see all that ass,

all them titties, and them chicks take me

-in that red room-- -Mm-hm.

And them girls do their thing in there--

-Mm-hm. -When I come out there, Gerard,

I swear, it's like I just don't have the urge to cheat.

-Oh, okay. -It's kinda like mental therapy, you know what I mean?

-Yeah. -Yeah. [chuckling]

-I get it now man. -See, yeah, that's what I'm tryin' to tell you!

No, that's also why you always broke.

-Broke? -It's like all the money get--

-Fool, who you callin' broke? -Yeah broke.

It's like all the money you get there,

even with all your hustling you do,

go right inside some little red G-string man.

-You gotta chill out, man. -Let me tell you something, playa.

Hater, I'm from P-Rod, dude,

and we get money over there, playa.

-We gets money. -Mm-hm.

-You know I'm gettin' money. -You're gettin' money.

Yeah, I'm gettin' bread out here, dude.

-All right. -Better act like you know.

-All right. -If you don't.

And I don't need nothin' from nobody.

-Nobody, okay. -You feel me? Nobody.

Look at me when I'm telling you, bro, follow my lips.

-No-body. -You don't need nothing

-from nobody. -Nothin', nada.

-Nothing? -Yeah, nobody.

-All right. -But I do need to use your ride.

You know what I'm sayin'?

That's that stuff I'm talking about.

-Aw, come on. -Your car in shop again, huh?

You know how the foreign whip be breaking down, man,

blowing gaskets and stuff.

It's cool though, but I got Tyrone on it.

Tyrone the crackhead?

[wrench clicking]

[Mykell] My daddy was known for fixing things.

All right, pump it.

[Mykell] TVs, VCRs, lawn mowers, snowblowers.

-Pump again. -Everything.

That's good, that's good.

Hey, tell me, boy, how's yo momma doing?

He don't live with us anymore, but every now and then,

Momma let him stick around for a few days.

What's wrong with her car?

Well, I think she need brakes.

Uh, maybe it's the catalytic converter.

But I know she need a oil change too, boy,

need a whole lotta stuff.

All right, thanks, Poppy.

Ain't no thang but a chicken wing, boy.

High five. Gimme five. Hit again.

Ain't nothin' but a little grease.

But here go. Wanna use this rag?

Oh!

♪

[knocking]

Hey.

♪

-Hey, baby. -Happy birthday, Big Daddy.

What you got for me? I want to see this.

What does it look like?

-Hm, kinda heavy. -Uh-huh.

I told you not to bother getting me anything.

Baby, don't be ridiculous, just open it.

Kinda heavy. Feels like a book.

These go for big bucks on eBay.

I know, you've been talking about it forever.

How did you get this money? You strippin'?

Only for you, boo. [laughs]

Thank you, baby, it is perfect.

You're welcome.

So, what time do you get off?

Um, whenever you let me.

What are you in the mood for?

[chuckles] You know what I'm in the mood for.

Something extra large.

Oh, oh, wait, wait, Gerard, you're still open, remember?

Oh, I know what I'm about to open, hold on.

So nasty.

Let's go to the store room.

Yeah, right!

How many girls have you had back there?

None, you'll be the first.

Okay, wait, wait. What if your dad shows up?

My dad showin'? That's-- Yeah, right.

Besides, it's gonna be a quickie anyway. Come on.

-As opposed to? [laughs] -Very funny.

[giggling]

I'm gonna drink from a hose, brother.

[door rattling]

-Are you serious? -Come on, man!

It's the middle of the day!

It's like 10 million degrees out here.

Gerard, man, open up, I know you in there, man.

Okay, wait, wait.

What if there's customers outside?

Baby, I locked the door. Trust me.

Nobody comes at this time anyway.

-Okay? -All right.

Hey, man, what is he doing in there?

Man he probably in there playin' with his self, man.

Aw, man, he probably in there paintin' Kelly toenails.

You know Gerard.

He probably would do that, man.

I don't wanna go down the street, man.

-My knees hurt. -Ain't nobody walking down the street.

Gerard, man, come on, open up!

-It's hot out here, man! -Come on, man,

we about to make this journey.

Aw, man!

If it ain't Pinky and the Brain.

What y'all nigga lonely-ass over there

banging on that door like that?

That boy can't hear you.

That boy in there gettin' his groove on.

Y'all might as well walk y'all monkey ass down to Choi's.

And pull your damn pants up.

Pull yo belly up.

Like you got a crackhead in there.

Hey, that's yo momma's job,

-so it don't fall on her head. -[laughing]

[gibberish]

Hell yeah, man, I'd never do that,

I went down there to gank that fool,

he end up ganking me.

-About time! -Yeah, let me hit you back.

How long does it take your ass

to get back from the corner store?

Baby, they was crowded in there,

and I how many times I gotta tell you

stop cussing while you holding the baby!

-Damn! -I bet you and G

were down there gossiping like schoolgirls!

[speaking Spanish]

You miss Daddy?

You miss Daddy?

These are the wrong kind!

I said Pampers, not Huggies!

What difference does it make? She's just shittin' in 'em, right?

See, you're wreckin' your own rule!

Yeah, 'cause you keep pushin' my damn buttons!

[speaking Spanish]

-[telephone ringing] -Aw, sh--

Oh, oh look, Na-- Here, take her.

This is Nazario, I gotta take this.

-[speaking Spanish] -[telephone ringing]

Hey, I'm gonna find out what that is

you be sayin' to me too.

I'ma Google it.

What up dog, Nazario?

Where's my dinero?

I don't want to have to paint the rest in peace

in your memory.

If you kill me, you ain't gonna get paid.

You know I wouldn't play with your money like that no way,

-I got you, man. -So, when we gonna hook up?

Uh, actually, I'ma be busy all day today, but, um...

How's it sound like about six o'clock?

-Where? -At the store.

Six o'clock on the dot.

Hey, look, but check this out,

my momma saw one of your paintings, right?

-She wanna know how-- -[phone clicks]

Hello, Nazario?

Nazario?

Damn.

What is this?

Where's the sprinkles?

♪

Uh, I bet he in there gettin' his socks blown right now.

She ain't even got it like that,

he probably just in there taking a dump, bro.

Hey, I know a way we could find out, though.

♪

You know how you're always telling me

I should go to college?

Yeah, like all the time. Why, what's up?

You've been thinking about it?

Well, actually, I enrolled.

-Really? -In cooking school

in New York.

Why New York?

I mean, if you're so serious about being a gourmet chef,

they have plenty of culinary classes here in Michigan.

Yeah, but it's more five-star restaurants

than anywhere in the world in Manhattan, babe.

I mean, people here think fine dining is White Castles

and Coney Island. Come on, you know.

-But New York-- -[Kelly] No,

so what I'm saying is, what do you think about us?

-[laughing] Look at him. -Hey, look,

it's Bobby and Whitney. What's up?

Man, what you Jerry's kids want, man?

And what'd I tell you about dribbling that basketball in the store, Corey?

-You ugly. -All right, man,

we just got done hooping.

And it's hot as hell outside,

sell us a couple ice-cold brews, bro.

I'm not risking my dad's liquor license

so you little punks can drink some beer.

[Corey] You was our age once, cut us some slack.

Hey yo, Kelly, how you doin'?

What you need to do is drop that zero, okay?

And you need to come get with a hero like me,

baby girl, you know what I'm sayin'?

[humming fanfare] To the rescue!

Leo, can you be any more original?

Look, I gotta go, I'm gonna be late for class.

We'll talk about this later, all right, baby?

No, we already talked about it.

You obviously made your decision,

so do what's best for you.

-Kelly, are you serious? -Shut up.

-Kelly! -Yeah, I'm dead serious, Gerard.

-No, there's no need for all this. -No, I'm tired of this!

-Wait, seriously. -[door chiming]

And I'm not gonna answer when you call.

Kelly, are you serious?

Baby, don't pull off. Do not pull off!

-Uh-oh. -Ooh,

that's the last time he goin' see that behind.

She done turned her back on him.

-Aw, lord, lord. -Look at him.

♪ Looks like another love TKO ♪

Somebody's in the doghouse.

Chill out, man. I left the money in the slot.

Keep your head up, though.

-All right, ladies man. -[laughing]

[door chiming]

-[laughing] -So stupid.

♪

♪ Yeah

[Mykell] Hassan lives in Dearborn

and works for Better Made Chips.

But even before then,

he used to come around a lot,

either hooping down at the courts,

or just fooling with Gerard and Derrick.

Aw, look at Chip Chump, the chump of all chips.

Hey, home cuz one, two, and three,

what's crackalackin', huh?

Dearborn, loan me a dollar.

[chuckles] Yeah, let us get a buck for luck, Chip Chump.

-[chuckling] -Let me tell you something,

you need to get your asses some jobs, man.

I'm not the one, so don't test unless you want me

to wreck something, and flex on the home cuz, you know what I mean?

-Mutha-- -What's wrong with you guys?

You guys ever used to have like jobs or anything, man?

I'm the world championship fighter of the world,

I held several belts.

Oh, what titles you win, home cuz?

WBC, the EBT, WIC champion.

My last fight, I got robbed at the Joe Lewis.

-What's happened? -I'm fighting, we goin',

hanging, hanging, hanging, hanging, he hit me, all I heard

was seven, eight, nine, 10.

They didn't even give me the first number,

they robbed me, dog, they robbed me.

And what about you man, huh?

Didn't you sell like Gucci belts or something?

Hey look here, Robert Dumb Negro,

I didn't sell Gucci. I sold coochie.

See man, I was a smooth pimp back in my day, baby.

Oh, like prostitute.

Yeah, the police came and messed up my whole organization.

You know what I'm sayin', man?

Right now, eh, I'm just pimpin' midgets

'cause you know, I had to cut down on things.

♪

-Hey. -Hey.

Can I top that off for you?

You can do that for me, Brenda.

-Thank you very much. -All right.

Now, hold on. Now what is your son calling himself now?

-X. -X?

-Generation X. -Generation X.

-Generation-- -Not Malcolm X,

-just Generation. -Just Generation X.

-All right. -What do you say?

Hey, I don't call him late for dinner.

[laughing]

This is nice coffee. Thank you very much.

[Brenda] Enjoy.

Generation X.

[phone ringing]

-Six Mile Express. -Hey, son.

Hey, what's happening at the corporate headquarters?

Uh, not much, just got some fresh bean pies, about it.

All right, as-salamu alaykum, and save one for me.

Oh, Tamika came by here looking for you today.

Uh, Ta-who, what?

Tamika, Ms. Jackson's daughter from around the corner?

Uh, I don't know no Tami-- Shamika, Tamika.

Kwanika, I don't know none of them Mikas.

Uh, they come in there in the store with their hot pants?

No, come on.

Yeah, yeah, whatever, but, um, Pops, I need to talk to you.

What's goin' on? Everything all right?

Yeah, sort of, it's just that--

Look, can we talk about it later?

Yeah, I guess.

I'm gonna be there in a minute, okay?

We'll talk about it then.

Man.

♪ La-La-la-la-la

[indistinct chatter]

Tamika.

-Hey there. -What's up?

Hey, so what we getting done today?

Don't make me no difference girl,

just make sure I'm lookin' good for the party tonight.

Come on, you know that. The usual strength?

-Yes, ma'am. -All right.

Now, how are you?

[sighs]

Pregnant. Again.

Oh, no.

Girl, you know I know about that all too well.

I was planning to go to nursing school next fall.

My mom is gonna be so disappointed.

I bet, 'cause you know you can't depend on

these trifling-ass men these days.

Girl, look at me.

Didn't LaBelle's father make bail?

Yeah, stupid-ass got arrested again only three weeks later.

How about Latrell's dad?

[chuckles] Nah, he 'bout my daddy age,

but, mm-mm-mm.

♪

Hey, Hassan. Hey Hassan!

Yo, Hassan!

What's up, Blacker Than Me?

What's up, home cuz, you all right?

-What up? -Got my money, pay up.

All right, I know, man.

Yeah, Boston took like dump on Detroit's chest, man.

I knew the Pistons was gonna choke man, here.

Oh, it's all right, man.

-Straight up? -Yeah, give me, uh--

-Cool. -Utah over Denver.

Yeah, I got, like, good feeling, you know?

Yeah, me too.

♪ Problems son, I got 99 problems ♪

♪ But the bitch not one of the problems that I have ♪

Hassan. Hassan!

Huh?

-Dude, ain't you almost 39? -Right.

How long you gonna keep up this whole thank-you-black-guy?

-You not black, B. -All right.

-You from Dearborn. -All right.

-Dearborn Heights! -All right.

-Act Dearborn Heightish, man. -All right, Derrick.

-You embarrassing, man. -All right, Derrick, Derrick.

-You like-- like philosophy? -I'm a philosopher.

All right, the words of Rakim, man.

-Now you Rakim? -No, no, I'm not Rakim.

I don't act hip hop, I am hip hop.

No, you don't act crazy, you are crazy.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

[Hassan] Yeah, open the door for me, man.

Don't ever touch me, man.

Yeah, I tap your girl's ass, man.

You know, I'm getting too much money

for you to be playing with me like that, right?

-Okay. -Now bring your

Geraldo-looking ass in here.

[Hassan] You're like rude, man, you know?

-[door chiming] -Come on, man.

Look at you, your pants on the ground, man!

You look like fool with your pants on the ground.

Oh, damn, your feet are huge, man!

-Stop playing with me. -You have like Godzilla feet, man!

Man, would you come on in quick while I hold the door?

All right, man, leave me alone!

-Your feet are huge, man. -You wanna be black so bad,

why don't you bring one of your sisters around here, man?

♪

[door chiming]

-What you want? -I got iPods, 'Droids, Noise,

iPhones, plus the Slim PSP.

Come on, get something.

Buying that is bad karma, all that stolen stuff, no.

Stolen? This stuff ain't stolen!

My dad found most of it dumpster diving.

Tyrone? [scoffs] Yeah right.

Come on, it's hot. I'm thirsty for a pop.

Pop? Pop dehydrates you. You need to drink water.

And we got a water hose out back,

you can go turn that on and it's free.

All you can drink. Get outta here, Mykell.

[bell dings]

I'm trying to raise enough money

to get my mom's ride fixed.

Come on, help me out.

All right, I'll spot you a two dollar store credit, cool?

Two dollars?

What am I supposed to get with two dollars?

Three dollars, and that's my final offer.

Now get in here and grab the broom and a dustpan.

[bags crinkling]

So, Derrick, what are you gonna do

when G man jets to the Big Apple, home cuz?

Man, that fool ain't goin' nowhere.

He'll be here next month

slingin' Zig-Zags and 40-ounces, you believe that.

-[Gerard] Don't bet on it. -[Derrick] I'd bet on it.

[Hassan] G's a grown man, look at him, you know?

It's not up to him.

[Derrick] Why you the one doin' all the talkin', Aladdin?

[Gerard] Listen, I don't know what I'm gonna say to my dad,

but I know one thing,

I ain't gonna be here slinging snacks

for the rest of my life, family business or not.

[Hassan] All right, man,

I gave your invoice. You're all set, man.

So when you gonna hang out?

Know what?

Let's do Artist Village one last time.

-You want to? -Yeah.

Let's do it. Let's do it, man, let--

Listen. G, I wanna show you a handshake, all right?

-Okay. -But listen, I'ma show you a handshake,

but don't do this handshake everywhere, all right?

No wait, that doesn't-- Anywhere, you mean.

No, don't do it everywhere, man.

-That doesn't make sense. -All right, you wanna see the handshake?

-Yeah. -All right, all right.

Cover your eyes, man. You're like baby.

-All right, you ready? -Mm-hm.

All right.

Ah... ah...

Look, it's like seven. Like Seven Mile.

You like that?

That's funny, man, 'cause what part of Seven Mile

run through Dearborn Heights?

Man, what is wrong with you, man?

You look like Apollo Creed!

♪

Hey, Rasheed, what's up, home cuz?

Don't deprive me with brevity.

The name's Rasheed Ali Akhbar,

you wannabe.

What's wrong with you, man, huh? This is me, man,

-it's how I talk, I'm not acting. -Yeah, right.

Well, what's you want me to say to you, huh?

You want me to say, "Hello, there, Person of Color.

-How are ya?" -Color?

-And by the way-- -That's the worst. I'm brown.

Always gonna be brown from the cradle to the grave.

[chuckles] What's wrong with you man, huh?

What's wrong with you, man? We used to be like--

like boys back in the day, you know?

Like boys. We ain't never been boys, Hassan.

The only reason why we let you move with us

was because you always chipped in on the brew.

Yeah?

Let me tell you something, Rasheed. Huh?

You might be like, uh, like black,

-but you're living like a whack. -Man, whatever.

-Know what I'm saying? -Watch your back, boy.

Man, I watch my back and my front, home cuz. Huh?

♪ One, two, three, four

♪ Snoop Doggy Dogg and Dr. Dre... ♪

-[slamming] -[Derrick] Man, you a nerd,

always reading that garbage, man.

I'm sick of all that sword and sorcery stuff.

How come they don't never have no black barbarians in there

like with big-ass swords and long dreds?

Tell me that, nerd?

Yeah, you gotta admit, the trilogy was pretty epic

in Lord of the Rings.

-Yeah, epically racist. -Come on, now.

-Epi-what? -Epically racist.

You know what? Hold on, hold on, hold on.

I'm with you, Tavis. Gandalf was the man.

-I know. -Man, please,

all them battles and wars they went to,

not one soldier with a fro under his helmet?

-Right. -Not one? That's a joke.

-I was in prison, right? -Oh, my God.

No, listen to me, I was locked up

and I read this article on J.R.R. Tolkien.

You know he was South African?

So what? You from Detroit, that don't make you a mechanic.

-Or a criminal-- -Cousin, you not

-gettin' the point! -Or a rapper or--

Man, why don't the three of y'all shut up, man.

Just shut up. Listen.

Clearly, from the beginning of time,

from the beginning of time,

science fiction has always been racist.

You know what?

Me and Kelly went to go see Transformers, right?

The one and only Autobot to die was Jazz,

-the black one! -The black one!

Even black robots can't succeed now.

Forget all that,. Have y'all ever noticed

that every time a black character is in charge,

it always results into a disaster.

-Not every time! -Excuse me!

-Man, what? -Man, what, man?

Man, I just need some chocolate syrup

and some Rap Snacks, dog, come on.

Man, down here, dog, come on, get outta here.

Blacks can't succeed in technology. Take T2, for example.

-It's his fault the terminators take over the world.

Yeah, and what about Tiny Zeus Lister

as the president of Fifth Element?

Yeah, and don't forget Morgan Freeman in Deep Impact.

I get it, I get it.

They're saying if we're in charge of running things,

that's a sure sign the world's gonna come to an end.

-Preach. -Obama, 2012.

-Preach! -Uh-huh, exactly, exactly.

Man, I was reading this one comic

about the black Green Lantern,

Mmm-- Cosmic Odyssey.

And how he destroyed the galaxy,

I mean, when was the last time Superman made a mistake?

-You know what I'm sayin'? -Never because he the king

of the white devils, that's why.

You know what? Don't even get me started on comics.

If it wasn't for Blade or Black Panther,

they'd still be up there with lawn jockeys and Sambo dolls.

-Exactly. -Yeah right, man.

And they know that black folks and latex do not mix.

And speaking of racist,

what's up with your boy, Hassan, huh?

-[door chiming] -Hassan is cool, man.

-He don't do nothing to nobody. -Hey, man, look, stop hatin',

'cause clearly, everybody know Hassan don't bother nobody.

He bothers me though, your brother.

And cousin, why is your daddy buying

from a Chaldean distributor anyway?

Strictly because the prices are--

-Shut yo mouth. -Whoa, wait a minute,

-we buy from everybody. -Yeah!

Our beer and wine guy's black!

Beer and wine? Malt liquor?

You know what's in malt liquor, hm?

Selling that stuff is like committing

black-on-black crime everyday.

-Is that right? -Yeah, that's right.

Well, why don't you go preach that to all them

middle class, bougie-ass black kids,

and all these white folks running around here acting a damn fool.

Oh, but, that would be one of Malcolm X's wet dreams, right?

See, you wrong about that. You wrong!

-Get your finger outta my face. -Next thing you know,

they gonna be running out here, talking about who got

the better Beemer, Benz, all that.

-All I know is-- -Right!

Him walking around like that is a insult to our ancestors

and I'm sad that you brothers cannot see that.

As-salamu alaykum.

As-sala-some-bacon too.

And yo barber got yo fro lopsided.

And you know what, man?

-[door chiming] -Your cuz-- Him, your cousin,

he a prime example just a little bit of knowledge

can be dangerous as hell, man.

-Yeah. -Danger-ous.

-You a nerd. -[smacking]

-Do something! -[clattering]

♪

-Hey, baby. -What's goin' on, baby?

You remember that tattoo I always wanted?

-Yeah, I remember. -Bam!

Ooh, you got it.

-[laughing] -Follow your gut!

Baby, you losin' weight too.

-I am, thank you, baby. -Aw, hell no.

First I gotta follow yo butt, now I gotta follow yo gut?

How 'bout you follow your breath to the morgue?

-[laughing] -Swear to God,

you look like you been drinking SlimFast

with chocolate chip cookies in it.

You know, y'all got a lot more stuff

than any of these other stores around here, man.

But you know what they have that y'all don't?

-What's that? -They got customers.

You come in here to mess with me, I see, huh?

No, I got some, uh-- You got change for a 20?

[Leo] I hate Gerard, man, God!

[Corey] Man, that's a waste of talent that she's doing.

That's a waste! Man, look at that.

She can come over here anytime!

[birds chirping]

Hey, Dad!

How much you say it was gonna cost to fix Mom's car again?

Huh?

Well, a new fuel line gonna run you at least a hunnid.

But, you know, I'll get the patch kit

to take care of the leak for about $20.

Uh, you know, my boy over on Log Cabin,

he got one of them rusting on his backyard,

I can probably raid it for parts for about $40.

New plugs ain't no thang.

Plus, she need brakes and a oil change.

-We talkin' about $2,000, boy. -$2,000?

But I can do it for $250.

Boy, where you get this kind of mon--

Shh!

[chuckles] Picture us rollin', son.

We gonna swoop out to Belle Isle in style, boy!

We gonna get it, look, look!

I'm gonna go get these parts right away, okay?

I ain't goin' nowhere else,

I ain't stoppin' at no houses or nothing,

I'm goin' straight to get the parts.

I'ma catch you later, all right? All right, all right.

[birds chirping]

[dog barking]

♪

[indistinct dialogue]

Mm-hm, I can't wait, neither.

Here these fools come beggin' again.

What y'all want, man? Y'all ain't never got no money.

Man, that fool ain't never got no cheddar,

he need to get up outta here.

[Woman] What is you doin', come on, let's go.

♪ I once had a life

Where is you goin'? What is you doin'--

Where is you-- Hold on, y'all,

he got money for real, he do got money.

Come on back here, where is you goin'?

Where is you goin'?

Hey, come back here!

Where is you goin'?

Oh, hey!

♪ In a book just yesterday

♪ Said, gonna reap just what you sow ♪

♪ The debts you make you have to pay ♪

Watch out. I just painted that!

♪ I wanna know

♪ I wanna know if you can get to that ♪

Is it done?

Yeah, man.

It's done.

♪ I recollect with a-mixed emotions ♪

-Is there a problem? -No, dog.

It's whatever.

Nazario,

you know we run these streets.

They can't touch us.

But one day,

even you, Nazario,

gonna have to answer to a higher power.

-♪ Can you get -♪ I wanna know

♪ I wanna know if you can get to that ♪

-♪ Can you get -♪ I wanna know

Okay, what about that time you and Beto got into it

and he slapped yo ass so hard, everybody thought he shot you

and Miss Johnson called the police?

Who stood out there with you 'til you woke up?

-Me. -Fellas.

You had a print on your face for about two weeks.

What's happenin'?

-I knew I smelled garlic. -Garlic, huh?

-Yeah, garlic. -That's weird.

All I smell is your mom's perfume.

Now there you go, Karate Kid,

mouth writing a check your li'l yellow-ass can't cash.

Hey, KJ, man, don't tell me you here for change.

I'm low on everything, got nothin'.

Oh, no, no, I'm on lunch right now.

Yeah, but uh...

where's Gail?

-[chuckling] -What?

Man, not you too, man.

No, no, I just need her advice. Girl troubles.

-We all do. -Yeah, yeah, but, uh-- Yo, yo, Rick.

-What? -Do you have any smoke?

Man, how many times I gotta tell you,

stop coming to me like that in public, dude.

-I'm on probation. -All right, all right,

look, look, there's nobody here but us, all right?

And I keep telling you that, listen,

I don't mess around no more.

Now unless you got a hunch on a game,

leave me the hell alone, boy.

Do you know how it feel

to be embarrassed on national TV, huh?

[Judge Mathis] Why in the world would you try

and cross the border with 12 ounces of marijuana?

You know you're lucky the Detroit police got you

instead of the Feds.

You know, customs? That's Feds.

Hey man, look I'ma tell you just like I told them.

That was my momma weed. Her medical marijuana.

And to tell you the truth, I really don't appreciate

having to bring up me and my momma's business

in your courtroom, dog.

-Dog? -Yeah.

You better address me correctly.

I'm not one of yo boys out on the street.

-Man, whatever. -You need to act like a man.

-Man up. -Hey, man, I'ma tell you like this.

You clearly not about to be talking to me like I'm a kid,

'cause I am a man.

-What I'm about to do is lock you up. -What?

-Then we'll see how much of a man you are. -Why?

-Wow. -When they put that lipstick on you.

-I doubt it. -And have you carryin' a purse.

I doubt that, man.

I'ma tell you like this, I'm from the streets, man.

Yeah, and I'm from the same streets you from.

Yeah, and what you supposed to be doing, man?

Oh, I'm suppose to be scared of you or something?

-Get him outta here. -Please believe that.

-Get him outta here. -Yeah, get me outta here.

Now hold up, baby, I got a heart murmur, man, hold on.

Do you know what it feel like to watch a rerun

of me getting dissed on TV like that, man?

[Derrick on TV] Hey, hold up, man.

those are my glasses, man, them cost 1,000!

Hey, look here, man, come on, man, I was just--

Look, man, you scuffing up my gator boots, man!

-[laughing] -Hey look, man! Hey hold on--

What you laughin' at, man?

And I been meaning to ask you,

what kinda Asian are you, man?

They got 50 Starvin' Marvins in the 'hood,

you ain't got one beauty supply.

-You a joke! -You know what?

You know, just forget the weed then, but uh...

Yo, you remember those brownies we used to get?

Oh yeah. What happened to those?

Man, I heard the spot's back on.

-They back poppin'? -They back poppin', yeah, um--

-Whoo. -Yeah, man.

Yeah, you guys wanna go score some then--

Hell, yeah, let's go.

And then grab some lunch at the Kung Food, right?

Chinese food does sound good, but...

you gonna eat brownies first, then Chinese food?

Oh, man, they're that good, man.

-Dude, they're cold. -Trust me.

And why y'all so pressed about these damn brownies?

'Cause they that good, man!

Man, these brownies will change your life, dude.

♪

All right, guys, listen, if...

I'm not back in 10 minutes,

tell my mom I love her.

KJ, hurry up, 20 minutes.

And I always tell your mom I love her anyway.

[KJ] Whatever.

[Derrick] What a joke.

[Gerard] Man, I shouldn't have came.

Man, shut up, Gerard,

it's gonna be worth the wait, trust me.

[Gerard] My dad gonna kill me.

[Derrick] Oh, my goodness, my dad.

Hell, yeah. That's what I'm talkin' about, man.

Wait...

Whoa!

-[chuckles] I told you, boy. -Look at those nuts.

Yo, Derrick's mom knows about deez nuts right here, man.

Hey, dude, you got one more momma joke, like straight up.

-Come on, man. -You better not even say

-momma around me, dog. -[chuckling]

Here, take a piece, man.

-Yeah. -Yeah.

-I'll take a little piece -I'm tell you--

of that too, man.

-Mm... -[chuckling]

Tasty.

And, and why are these nuts so big?

You sound like KJ momma over there, man.

Hey, hey, come on, man, don't talk about

-my momma like that. -[chuckling]

That's not right. She's a nice lady, all right?

Mm-mm, she real nice.

Mm!

[Derrick] Hey, yo, what are you back there doing

-to that brownie, man? -Mm!

Oh, you havin' a moment, man.

You need some privacy?

[Derrick] Damn!

Y'all look like two Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders.

I don't even know which one y'all to talk to.

[KJ] Dude come on man, stop it, stop it.

-Hey, we here playin'-- -[KJ] Hey, Derrick...

-What is your-- -Will you stop, man?

-Will you stop? -Hey, dude, listen, man.

-What? -Did y'all see them girls--

We gonna get pulled over, man!

-Look-- -I can't believe y'all just did that, dog?

What you mean can't believe? I look like a damn hostage in here, man!

Two blacks with an Asian is probable cause, all right?

Man, y'all just hated on me like that, dog?

-I'm not hatin' on anybody. -Hey, man, you know what?

I just thought about it. Frank got a party today, dog.

And we supposed to be there anyway.

♪

[indistinct chatter]

Hey, they're almost done.

-Oh, baby, look who's here! -Hey, guys!

-My man, Derrick. -Hi, baby.

Gerard!

You're that Chinese kid from the store.

You know what, I'm Korean, all right?

What part of China is that?

You know what, if you guys are hungry, we got hot dogs

and everything over here for you to eat.

That's right, my baby got us some ribs,

and we got some dogs.

And when I say dogs,

I'm talkin' about the hot kind,

not the barking kind. [barks]

-Not in America. -Frank, Frank,

-he Korean, they eat cats -[laughs].

-Come on, man. -Niecee eat cat too.

-Hey, hey, hey, hey. -Frank, didn't I tell you--

You know what? Any race that eat chitlins

really should just not go there.

Can y'all translate that for me?

Hey, hey, yo, Frank, we'd love to have fun

with everybody, but I gotta go.

-Yo, we gotta go. -We gotta get back.

Man, you ain't goin' nowhere, quit playin'.

Look, I gotta introduce you to some people.

[KJ] Can you believe that guy?

What a racist thing to say, man.

Man, look, I keep telling you about your smart mouth.

You see any Asians back here? This a black barbecue.

You lucky you ain't get shot just coming back here.

You're not tough, you not Jackie Chan,

and you look like a soft Bruce Lee.

-Oh, that's a gift. -Yeah, it's Niecee's.

You know, today is my birthday too.

What?

-Hey. -Hey, Choi Boy.

Hi, well, hey, my name's Kim, actually.

Kim, that's a girl's name.

Well, no, see, in my culture, uh, last name's first.

So, my full name is Kim Jung Choi, and--

So what, you're Filipino or something?

-Uh, no, actually-- -Chinese?

No, no, I'm actually Korean,

-and, uh, yeah. -You know,

without all that glass between us,

you're kinda cute.

Well, thank you, very much.

You got a girlfriend?

Oh, kinda. We've been having some problems.

Gotta deal with that, you know, sometimes.

Oh, well, you should give me your number.

I got all of Jet Li's movies on DVD.

Congrats to the missus, but like I said earlier--

-Yeah, we gotta go-- -You sure you don't want a plate?

Man, take it all.

-We got plenty around-- -Whoa!

[Derrick] No, no, no, no, we good.

-We, we good. -We good.

[Derrick] Thanks, thanks a lot, though.

-I'm not goin' eat it. -You know what?

You better eat it.

I ain't make all this food for nothing.

Well, thanks for coming by, guys.

-All right. -You know what?

-Yeah, see y'all later, bye. -Y'all take care.

Stop playin' with that.

-Wear a vest. -What's that?

[Derrick] I said, "You got my best."

-Just lookin' out, man. -Oh, fo' sho.

-Bye guys! -Throw this stuff away.

♪

[KJ] Let's go in, come on, go on.

Oh, great.

[Derrick] Act like it's stupid.

There's a line.

I thought you said this place is, uh...

is Chinese.

Naw, man, it's Korean. We gettin' Korean food.

What does it matter, man? They all eat rice.

Y'all eat anything, as long as it's fried.

Aw, hell no, man! Here come Nazar--

Quit looking, man. He comin' this way.

Damn, I knew I shouldn't have came here with y'all.

I thought y'all was good.

I'm still working on it, man.

Evidently, I'm not finished.

Yeah, we need to hurry up and get out of here.

-Yeah, yeah, I guess so, man. -What you gettin'?

I'm gettin' the hell out of here, if you go ahead.

-Hey. -What you like to order?

All right, I will definitely have

the seasoned fried chicken,

grilled chicken breast with Teriyaki sauce,

grilled chicken breast--

Beto, hurry up, come on!

-The marinated chicken-- -[door clattering]

And the sliced spicy chicken, please.

Damn, you fine. Hey, Nazario, what you doing?

I was not expecting to see you until six o'clock.

Oh, now, you know them fools,

I just came here to eat with them.

They always hungry, you know what I'm sayin'?

But what you doing here?

I'm here to bless this place with another one of my murals.

Oh, yeah, I heard you be paint--

I saw one of your paintings downtown.

Now, you got a gift, you know that?

Kelly got me on a special diet.

No meat or dairy.

It's supposed to clean out your system.

Man, you whipped.

Anyway, how much you owe Nazario?

-Nothing, like five, man. -Damn, five dollars?

-Got you on that. -No, no, no,

it's a little bit more than that.

Five hunnid dollars?

-Damn, man. -No, no, no,

it's a little bit more than that, man.

$5,000?

-Yo! -Calm down!

-What's up, man? -You owe Nazario $5,000?

[Derrick] Calm down, man! Yo, relax!

-You owe him $5,000? -Chill out dude, chill out, man.

-He over there right now. -All right, all right, cool.

-I'm cool, I'm all right. -Let's get some food.

-Look, I'm hungry. -All right, we gotta

-get outta here anyway, okay? -Exactly.

I'm ready, I'm sorry about the holdup.

I'll take mixed vegetables, steamed rice,

and bean curd, bean curd is good.

Man, did you just order some turds?

No, I said curd, as in tofu.

Everybody get their punk asses

-on the floor right now! -[woman screams]

[man] Get down!

Get on down.

Down!

-Dow-- -No.

No?

No, I can't let you rob this place, man.

These are good people.

Do I look like I care? Down!

Run the register, Mama San, come on!

Okay, okay.

-Hurry up, down! -Besides, man,

everybody in here seen yo face.

That's a whole lot of witnesses, dog.

I got a whole lotta bullets, dog.

-[rifle cocks] -Hey, you go, now!

♪

I say, what the fuck? Who you think you is,

-Super Negro? -Come on, man.

You just almost got shot in your mouth.

What's wrong with you?

Thank you very much.

We got robbed two times this week.

-No problem. I saved the day. -What's wrong with you?

-You ain't save nothing, man. -Oh, look,

that was just crazy, man.

-Here. -Thank you.

You just almost got us shot, man.

[Mrs. Kwan] And two more.

Oh, can I have some soy sauce?

Yes.

-Free soy sauce-- -Twenty-five cents, please.

♪

♪ You made my day

♪ You came my way

♪ You put a smile upon my face ♪

♪ You brought the sunshine

♪ You brought the sunshine ♪

♪ In my life ♪

♪ You are the lifeline

♪ You are the lifeline

♪ You brought the sunshine

-♪ Saved my life -♪ You are...

[Gerard] These are weed brownies?

[KJ] Naw, man, it's not just any weed brownie.

[Derrick] Hey, those are medical brownies, medical.

-[laughing] -[Gerard] I can believe,

-I'll be high at work! -[Derrick] Oh, well you about

-to spoil my high. -[Gerard] My daddy

-gonna kill me, man! -Aw, no, you'll be fine.

[people chattering]

♪

Gimme 962, 50/50.

Put my lottery in right now!

What up, dog? Hey, gimme 1016, 1 and 1.

810, 734, 50/50, what's up?

Yeah, I wanna buy a lotto ticket.

Yeah, man,

got it all figured out this time, figured out!

Come on, man, you about to make me miss Judge Mathis.

Listen, 313, 50/50.

And 1016, 1 and 1, and man, put some luck on it

'cause I need it, baby, I'm hurtin' right now.

So play me and momma's numbers now, right now!

You want me to whoop you?

This is what we do,

this is just the evening, this is just the evening.

The first 40 of these, I wanna do 50/50.

By the way, what was yesterday's number?

What?

Man, you know that's my son's birthday.

Why you didn't tell me? You know I usually play that!

Where's Gail at?

Man, 'cause I don't want you taking my numbers, Gerard,

'cause you know what?

I'm about two seconds from coming behind that window,

and you know what?

Do you think I'm funny or something?

You know, I left my money on the dresser.

I'll be right back.

Twenty minutes my ass.

Hey!

What's so damn funny, Rae Dawn Chong?

See, that's why you're not getting none of my

bomb-ass brownies, straight from the East side, man.

KJ, now look, man, I was joking, those were jokes.

K-man, look man, that was a joke, I'm sorry.

Look, man, you promised, man!

Look, I'm hollin'. KJ, I'm sorry.

-Man. -Man, what happened

to all them dogs y'all had at your house, man?

You know what? I ate 'em!

I knew they wasn't your fam dogs.

Is that what you wanna hear, man? Screw y'all.

-KJ! -Naw, you're not gettin'

-none of it, no. -KJ!

I knew they was eatin' the dogs.

Why'd you do that, Big Jim? KJ!

Ain't no chicken tender supposed to be that big.

-[phone ringing] -Six Mile Express.

Dude, why weren't you answering the phone?

I've been calling you like nine times!

It's busy here. Where are you?

We're almost there.

Wait, you mean to tell me you're not even there yet?

Dude, we're almost there, seriously, 10 minutes, okay?

And yo, Gail, what's up with you and Nazario?

What?

Don't worry about me and Nazario, okay?

That's my business.

We'll, your business just became my business.

Who's gonna cover your ass

when I'm off learning to burn like a pro, huh?

You know what?

I knew I shouldn't have never let your ass

use my EZ Bake Oven.

Grow up, Gail, please.

G, you breakin' up.

Hey, we're about ready for our rest stop.

Down, boy, it's my brother.

G, you there?

Yeah, work that stick.

[laughing]

♪

Man, this is the best Chinese food ever.

Hey, Bugs Dummy, how should you know,

you got a garden on your plate.

-[metallic clattering] -[door chiming]

Don't have me come down there!

Gerard, that was some smooth operating

down in Mrs. Kwan's.

Oh, thanks Nazario.

'Course, I was this close to unleashing the beast on him.

-Hm. -But you don't wanna

wake up "Godzeela."

Oh, no, not at all. [chuckles]

My bread?

Oh, yeah, I got your money right down here.

You know what, Nazario?

[chuckles] I don't even know how I forgot about this.

See, I had left, right?

For, you know, 20 minutes for lunch,

and I put your, um-- I put your money in a drop box,

you know, because I didn't want the place to get robbed.

Because what I look like, you know,

having this place get robbed,

then your 10,000 is gone, then I owe you $10,000.

You know what I'm sayin'?

So, undrop it, vamonos.

See, um...

I personally can't undrop it because...

my dad and Gail are the only people

with the code to the drop box, so...

come back in a couple hours and I'ma have your bread.

Just remember, G,

like those kids told that bunny,

tricks are for kids.

Oh, yeah, I seen that commercial.

I'll see you at six o'clock.

Okay.

And you too, Derrick.

Yep, at six o'clock, I'll be there.

You said six o'clock.

That's the time I'll be there.

You owe this guy $10,000, man?

Dog, what we goin' do, man?

-What we goin' do? -Yeah.

-Oh, now you wanna be a team? -Damn 10,000.

-Where'd it go? -Oh, now we a team, we?

Yeah!

You a joke, man, you know that?

Come on, come on, dog, you gotta help me, man, 10,000--

I owe Nazario $10,000 now, dog!

Yeah, man, hey listen, dog, let me explain something to you.

I cannot believe you.

I told you. Didn't I told you?

-Man, Derrick. -How many times I told you?

I told you, didn't I?

-How many times I told you? -For real, man--

-I told you. -Derrick--

-I told you-- -For real--

How many times I told you, dog.

-Seriously, man-- -I told you.

Be for real right now, dude.

Oh, I am for real, I told you.

-Man, come on, dog. -Yeah.

What am I gonna do, dog?

-Now it's we. -Huh?

-Now you wanna be a team. -Somebody gotta know

where the money is.

Man, I wonder who in the hell coulda took

that money on the real side, though, dude?

[both] Mykell!

♪ I'm living the good life

♪ I'm living the good life

♪ I'm gonna take this street ♪

♪ Live in luxury ♪

♪ Everyone should follow me

♪ 'Cause I'm living that, I'm living the good life ♪

♪ I'm living the good life

♪ I'ma introduce myself

-♪ Ey! -♪ To the finer things

-♪ Ey! -♪ I'ma live life

♪ Like all the good niggas

♪ I'm living the good life ♪

♪ I'm a get it...

Hey, welcome to Little Caesars. How may I help you?

How many pizzas do you have to order to get 'em delivered?

Uh... we don't deliver here.

-♪ The good life -♪ Livin' the good life

Hey, hey, hey, hey, Justin Bieber,

hey, let me help you out with that, man.

Oh, no, I'm good, I'm just going right there, I'm good.

Brother, brother, brother, I'm not a thief, I'm in sales.

-Oh-- -Yeah, man,

just take it easy, man, I ain't gonna take nothing from you.

Okay.

Yeah, man, that's, um, nice skateboard you got there.

Yo, chill out, it's my mom's car.

Oh, my bad, man.

So, how long you been into pizza?

Since I was 15, so about a year and a half.

-Right, I really dig that. -Yeah.

Yeah, check this out, though man,

you know, I had a couple of females

that was hot and readies.

-Oh, really? -Oh, yeah.

Hey those shoes and that outfit

are lookin' hot and ready.

Aw, thank you, thank you, man.

You know, I got this whole outfit, man,

down there from, uh, Prayola Sporting Goods.

Oh, really. Where's that at?

Oh, that's over there down there by there.

-Wait, what? -Yeah, it's a secret.

-[chuckles] Okay. -Yeah.

Hey, fellas, got us some pizzas!

-Oh right on! -Ha ha!

-Beady eyes, right? -There you go.

Yeah, what the-- Look.

Yo, white boy do it look like we're having a party in here?

Why in the hell would you bring all these pizzas and stuff?

[Gerard] Yeah what's up with that?

Uh, someone ordered them, I mean,

he told me to come-- bring 'em here.

Stop talkin' to him. Stop talkin' to him.

They paid in full, and they left a pretty good tip.

-He the police. -Huh?

He the police, man. Trust me, I know.

He the hook, he the hook, we hot!

Man, he 12 years old, man, he is not the police.

Hey, uh, I'm 16 actually.

And 15 will get you 30 man.

This store is hot, we hot, they on us!

Would you put your damn hand down man!

They on us dude. Stop. Trust me man.

-He the hook, look at him! -We'll take 'em.

-Are you sure? -You can leave 'em here, yeah.

If you don't want 'em,

I can find someone else to take 'em, I'm sure.

-No, Derrick'll eat 'em. -Why would you say my name, man?

Why would you say my name?

[chuckles] He works for Little Caesar's, man!

He's recording us, Gerard. Why would you say my name man?

-You trippin'. -You just got me in trouble dog.

-You ain't even doing-- -Look he the police man,

I'm in the streets. I do this!

-Stop playing! -Thanks, man.

You're good, you're good to go.

-All right. -We're through.

We're through. Say bye. You just sent me up the river.

His girlfriend's named Celina too!

♪

Happy birthday, G money honey!

Donna, what a surprise.

Hey, baby, let me in!

So I can give you your present.

Um, Donna, I've been meaning to talk to you.

We gotta stop this.

Stop what? We're both adults.

Yeah, but, this adult has a girlfriend.

You know, I gotta stop treating her the way I treat her.

It's only right, Donna.

I'm sure you understand, don't you?

Oh, hell no!

-Whoa! -You ain't gonna play me!

Um, Donna, whoa whoa, that's a gun!

What-What are you doing?

What I'm doing is trying to figure out

how I can make this whole thing look like a robbery gone bad!

-Um-- -'Cause you know what?

You wasn't thinking about your little girlfriend

-every time we was doing it. -Donna, calm down!

-Was you? -No, no!

Was you? You know what? You just another dog

that wanted to use me for me best assets!

That's not-- That's not true Donna!

I'm not even an ass man. I like shins,

forearms, knuckles. Think, Donna.

We had some good times, girl.

-Mm-kay. -Didn't we?

You're right. Ooh, the first time we did it,

that jambalaya you made was so good.

Oh, baby, if you wasn't such a good cook,

-I'd shoot that thing off! -No, you don't wanna--

-[door chiming] -Uh-huh!

Oh, oh, oh, clawed is the shepherd.

Is this a stick up, or a chick up?

I mean, a chick up to here with a man's bullshit!

Gerard, there is always some drama in here!

-You okay? -Just go. No!

-You Okay? -No!

Oh, I know, I know, I been there baby!

-No! -My ex left me

for a 15-year old. I'm telling you,

I'm feeling your pain! Left me for a 15-year old,

gonna tell me she could do things that I couldn't do.

Like what, Mr. Kelly, double-dutch?

Oh, yeah I was so mad.

I don't do that double stuff, girl, I'm old school.

Follow your gut.

I wouldn't do it, I'ma snitch, get me some cheesy popcorn.

You know what?

You better be glad I'm saved,

because another broad

might find your little girlfriend,

find out what school she go to,

what kind of car she drive,

where she live at. [chuckles]

And bam, bam!

[chuckles] You getting off easy!

You getting off easy!

Damn, she is crazy!

I'm just gonna assume these on the house!

♪

Baby Daddy?

Oh, hell no, no. Uh-uh!

If you don't get away from my car,

you done already smoked up my battery.

What the hell you talking about,

I ain't stripping it, I'm fixin' it!

-Oh you fixin'? -Yeah!

And where did you get the money from?

See I didn't, it was our son, he's a natural born hustler

just like his daddy!

The boy out here grinding just like your brakes!

-Our son? -[chuckles] Yeah.

Get it together. [grunts]

You better pump yo brakes!

You know you ain't getting no more of this!

Not till you fix your little problem.

I'm working on it baby. You watch. Watch and see.

I got a little grease on you right there,

you want to use this rag to get it off?

-Boy, back! -Baby, what we got is electric.

It's electric, baby.

-All right, what you got? -I got Avatar Three.

-Avatar Three? -I got the new Star Wars.

-All right. -I got Tyler Perry,

Medea Goes to Mars, in 3D.

-All right, all right. -And I'll give 'em all to you,

-three for 10. -Three for 10 man?

But check though, I got something for you.

I've got the Hidden Hoodrat Cameras, Volume 17.

-VG and KK? -Yeah, featuring VG and KK.

Is that KK?

-Hey, KK? -What?

-Hold on! -What the hell is this?

What?

It-- It looks like us!

-But-- but-- -Yeah, speaking of butt,

mine is right here on the front cover,

did you have anything to do with this?

No, I didn't have anything to do with this!

I don't-- Listen, I don't know how this got out.

Baby, I'm gonna get every copy back, all right?

Every single one, I swear, okay?

Yeah, don't you think it's a little too late for that now?

It's probably all over the internet!

If my parents see this, they're gonna flip.

Let me see this right here.

Oh, my goodness. I heard of My Space,

but damn, Kelly, your space ain't that bad.

Is that your twitter hanging out?

Oh, let me tweet that one time, Kelly.

This is all your fault.

♪ But I love your sexy ways ♪

♪ Come on and thrill me, momma ♪

♪ Thrill me, girl

Man, you and that girl are gonna be the Ray J

and Kim Kardashian of the West Side.

Man, tell me this ain't happening!

So you heard.

You mean you knew about this?

I tried telling you,

but you were too busy with donkey butt Donna!

My cousin Corey came over with the tape,

made me burn it to DVD, and even helped design the cover.

How many copies did you make?

Twenty-six. That's all the blank DVDs I had.

They're gonna sell 'em, and re-up. Sorry.

Sorry? Sorry? Oh, I got your sorry!

Chill, calm down!

I can help you get out of this, but it's gonna cost.

Tavis, every penny to my name is already spoken for.

And since when is money the only currency in the 'hood?

[phone ringing]

-Hello? -A case.

That's the best I can do.

Is that all your love's worth, 24 petty cans?

You gotta sweeten the deal, Romeo.

All right. Free beer, jerky and chips.

[chuckles] Now we gettin' somewhere!

But look, only when I'm working.

Do not bring my family into this.

There go my man right there.

[chuckling]

My man Earl the Pearl,

smoother than a newborn's bottom, baby.

Old Earl's face Smokey Robinson style.

Boy, look at him.

[indistinct dialogue]

Man, what color is that?

That's that cobalt blue. It's expensive!

Oh, man, I thought that was that blue magic.

Brothers, this is the vida blue.

-Vida blue, you get that? -[laughing]

Vida blue, you hear that?

So, what's happening, huh? You got the weather forecast,

you know it's gonna be hot today?

You need that hydration, you got it?

We got that covered Earl, right here.

No no, come on, I'm talking about that H2O.

-Uh-uh. -Come on,

Gerard can hook you up with a hose in the back

if you need to. Come on!

-Aw, man... -Man,

you know what, I'm shocked.

I didn't know you cared like that!

I feel loved as a stepchild!

Look, to tell you the truth, I don't give a shit.

-[chuckling] -Ambulances are just

bad for business, you know what I'm saying?

Hey, it's all good, Earl, but man, I can't drink no water,

-I'm on medication. -I heard that, I heard that.

Look, you heard about this couple,

they been married for a long time, 50 years,

and the man said, "Baby, you getting a little big down there."

So she went to the doctor, the doctor checked it out,

doctor said, "It sho is big, it sho is big."

She said, "You didn't have to say it twice."

-He said, "I didn't." -[laughing]

-Hey, hey, Earl! -Huh?

-You know what? -What?

You is gonna bring light skinned brothers back,

man, we coming back.

We ain't gone nowhere, we in the White House.

-Say that, say that, baby! -Call it the light house!

[laughing]

[Earl] Watch my ride, big man!

[door chiming]

Hey, son.

Hey, Dad.

You forgot to put the sign up.

My bad, I'll do it now.

[sighs] You know it's hot.

I sell a lot of beer out there.

-Uh-huh. -We gotta be on our Ps and Qs,

we got competition across the street,

Charley, huh?

Come on, Dad, the Chois are nice people.

Look, I was in the military, son,

I know what the enemy look like.

You don't know what side those people are on, do ya?

[scoff] I know what it is.

-Hmm? -You still upset that

Mr. Choi outbid you on that claim.

-That's what it is. -Let me tell you something.

I got something for Mr. Choi, I got something for you.

I got a new business proposition.

Okay, I got a video store.

-Uh-huh, a video store. -A video store,

a black video store, specializing in black cinema.

-Uh-huh. -Yes we're gonna have

the black actors, we're gonna have the black directors.

-All right. -You know what I'm gonna call it?

-What you gonna call it? -Black Buster.

-Black Buster? -That's right, Black Buster.

-Brilliant, in't it? -Out of all the--

-Black Buster? -Black Buster, that's right,

Black Buster. You can see it in lights,

red, black and green.

That's a lawsuit bound to happen.

Look, don't worry about no lawsuit.

I got Judge Mathis in the pocket.

All right.

Uh, hey, Dad, I need to talk to you.

Go ahead, talk, I'm listening, son.

I'm all ears. Talk to me, son.

Uh...

I'm moving to New York to um--

to go to cooking school.

You goin' where to do what, son?

I'm moving to New York

to go to a school for culinary arts.

A school for culinary arts.

You know I wanna be a chef, Dad.

[chuckling]

I mean I enrolled in this program and I got in!

Uh-huh. [chuckles]

Big Jim says cooking's in my blood.

Oh, Big Jim?

-Yeah? -He's a guidance counselor?

-[chuckling] -Dad,

you used to cook in the Army,

and we all know how Mom used to throw down.

She could make anything taste good. [chuckles]

She could take a piece of leather,

put some hot sauce on it and make it feel good.

Hey, I remember 20 years ago

I walked off that line at Ford's,

and I opened this place called Earl's Barbecue,

me and your momma.

They say, "Earl, you gonna be back on the assembly

line within a week.

Your momma said, "Hell no!"

We gonna go to work on this thing, so we worked.

Yes we did.

Your mother and I worked 14 hours a day,

night and day to make that thing work.

But your mother always wanted you to be a doctor.

Well, I think Mom would have been happy

with whatever I decided to do.

I only have one heir.

You're the only one, son, don't lose it.

Don't lose this, we worked for it.

Dad, it'll just be a few years.

A few years, and I'm coming right back.

And when I come back, we can open up our own spot.

-Oh, yeah? -The Jenkins' Gourmet Cafe.

Jenkins'... Gourmet Cafe.

[chuckling]

Yeah. I like that, gourmet cafe.

Yeah, it has a nice rhyme to it.

-Yeah. -But check this out, son.

How about...

Dr. Jenkins' Gourmet Cafe?

Chef Jenkins' Gourmet Cafe.

Don't give up on your mother's dream.

Deposits. Come on.

I leave next month,

with or without your blessing.

Never mind about my blessing, son,

give me my deposits.

Come on.

Doctor!

Doctor!

-[door chiming] -Mr. J!

What's up, baby? Look at you!

Lookin' like Chico DeBarge. No, you look more like El.

-Yeah? -Yeah, you El.

-Yeah? -Man, it feel good

to see somebody out here getting money like me, man.

-Good to see you, Derrick. -Finally.

-Where's your belt at? -Belt?

-I don't need no belt. -You don't need no belt?

You're sagging, pull up your pants, son.

Oh, you checkin' out my swag. [laughs]

You checking out my swag!

Yeah, you checking out my swag.

1995, you hit me for those Twizzler's didn't you?

1996, you hit me for the Ho Hos.

1997, you hit me for the Now-and-Later, didn't you?

Man, my momma wanted that candy.

What up, dog?

Mykell came by here.

He did? You get the money from him?

He ain't have it.

What you mean, he ain't take it?

I mean he don't have the money.

Ain't that funny?

[chuckles] No, it ain't funny,

'cause now we're really screwed!

Damn, I was for sho he took that money, man!

-Bad news. -Yeah, bad news.

Yeah, speaking of bad news, I got some mo' for 'ya.

Got a pregnancy test back there?

Are you kidding me? Again?

She ain't 100% for sure, but, uh,

it's looking that way.

See, I told you about using them Dollar Store condoms.

Man, you love saying that I told you to me, don't you?

Guess what? I'll be glad when you start telling me

not to buy no condom from yo ass.

Yeah, I bought them cheap-ass condoms from you.

Yeah, right there. Them right there!

Same ones, dog.

You goin' half with me on this child support, too.

-Yeah, I better pull these. -You think?

And while you playin',

you better start watching Kelly, dog.

I be seeing it in her eyes. She tryin' to get knocked up,

before you go to college.

-I'm tellin' 'ya! -Listen man.

I don't know why I don't have a pot to piss in,

or a window to throw it out of.

-Besides Kelly dumped me. -What? She dumped you?

'Cause you was cheatin'?

What's that?

What the hell is this, man?

Man that's Kelly, naked?

Man-- [laughs] Y'all--

-Dog, y'all doing porn? -We didn't put that out, man,

-Cory and Leo did! -We--

That's you? Oh, hell no, man!

I knew your girlfriend was a freak,

always acting goody two-shoes.

Little freaky ass!

-No, hey-- -Kelly naked.

-She all the way naked here? -Derrick.

Yep, that's Kelly. I know that little tight ass--

-I mean, her hair! -Come on, man.

-Now, let me see this. -D, come on.

-I'm keeping this. -Gimme the DVD back man.

-Let me buy it from you. -Man, you are no help, man.

What you need help?

You fixin' be a star, man!

Porn, but at least you're gonna be shinin'.

[laughing]

♪

Come on, man, give me the tape.

I'm gonna miss this tape, man.

Yeah, we got a lot of memories with that tape, man.

-Give it here. -Hey, hey, hey, same time.

-We don't play that. -Come on.

-What's up. -Mm-hmm!

-This what I been waitin' for. -Get the beer!

-Get the beer! -Let's go!

-Here. -Man, hurry up, Leo.

Hey, chill out bro.

Have our next shipment ready, tomorrow.

-Tomorrow. -Tomorrow.

-Man, get out of here, man! -Tomorrow.

Pleasure doing business with you boss. [laughs]

-[door chiming] -Oh.

Is that a white person? Oh, my goodness.

-In the 'hood? You ugly. -Oh, cheese and rice.

-Sorry about that, Rev. -Oh, never mind, um,

how are you this blessed day, son?

I'm good.

How's the soul business treating you?

Oh, taxing as usual. Satan never sleeps!

[laughing]

Is your dad around?

You know what, Rev? You just missed him.

Well, I shouldn't be embarrassed, I mean,

you're not a boy and I'm not Catholic.

[chuckles] Hell, yeah, then we'd definitely have a problem.

But, uh, what can I do for you today?

Let me have a fifth of Hennessy.

[cash register beeping]

And some rolling papers.

And the new issue of Big Black Booty.

Okay. Uh...

$35.83, Rev!

$35.83?

Eh, that's basket change.

-Out of 40? -Uh, keep the change.

There's always another Sunday.

[chuckles] Okay.

-Wow. -[door chiming]

♪

-Still mad at me? -Furious.

Livid.

But I talked to my therapist after the whole situation,

and she reminded me that

you had nothing to with the theft itself.

Yes, thank God for her!

[chuckling] And she also reminded me

that you took action when faced with a crises,

so it was admirable.

So I'm off the hook?

I don't have to give you 100 million like Tiger, do I?

Whoa, Tiger, I think you're gonna have to

-give up 100 mill. -Whatever.

[chuckling]

[door chiming]

Gerard! You gotta come quick man!

-What? -Somebody trying to break into Kelly's car!

-Huh? -What?

How you doing, Kelly? Look, baby,

they messing your car up!

Your car look like you hit everything but the four digits.

Hold on baby, I got this, don't worry.

Baby, open that door, get outside right now!

-Are you sure? -Come no!

I'm trying to tell you about it!

-[door chiming] -Car?

All right!

[all] Surprise!

[laughing]

[clapping]

How we gonna forget, son, not in a million years.

I actually--

-Thank you! -I-- I forgot.

-This is-- I bet you did. -[laughs]

I bet you did.

-You knew about this? -Now, come on man.

-Happy birthday. -You knew about this too?

-Little something. -[chuckling]

Excuse me, party people, but, uh,

don't you all dare start this party without me.

-[Mykell] No, she didn't! -Baby girl!

Brains behind it all!

You know it. Happy birthday

-Hey, Dad. -Hey, baby.

-Let's party! -I'm still a little mad

that you didn't take over this shift

-and you made me work. -Look,

I set this up, you gotta work hard for good things, okay?

-You're right. -So be grateful.

Well, let's party y'all!

[cheering]

♪ [funk]

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh ♪

Listen, you can eat that devil's food all you want to, all right?

You know that sugar is the white man's number one drug?

Hey, you know, you need to stop being racist.

Hey, you listen too, Lu Kang.

I know a racist is, huh?

I been locked up, all right? I know exactly what racism is.

Don't talk to me about being racist.

Man, I thought you got locked up for stealing cable.

You steal cable?

[chattering]

-♪ [funk] -[Gail] Daddy.

-Pop. -Daddy, please. Put the cup down.

-This is a funky-- -No no no no no no,

do not pay any attention to them, Mr. J, do your thing!

[chuckling]

[Earl] Yeah, that's it.

I swear, if you don't get off me,

I'm gonna call security, okay?

-What's up, KJ? -Hey, what's going on?

Brought you something to drink.

Oh, thank you.

Why you look so sad over here?

Um, it's just been a long day.

-One of them days? -Yeah one of those days.

What can I do to make it better?

[chuckles] I don't know...

♪

Happy birthday, playboy!

Appreciate it, man, but at the rate we going,

-it might be my last. -Man, look,

stop always worrying, man, about yo problems!

You keep worrying like you do, you'll be just like your daddy!

You know I saw you steal those Snickers in 1972.

[chuckling] Chill out. I got this!

Look, it's your birthday. Go enjoy yourself, man!

-All right. -Gerard!

-You got this? -I got this.

-I'm gonna take your word. -Let me handle it.

I got this. Trust me.

♪ [heavy funk]

[chuckling]

We appreciate you, man. You a black store.

-You do a lot for people. -Hey, it's all good.

People do a good thing for me too.

♪

You know, y'all can be like Three the Hard Way.

[indistinct chatter]

[Earl] Fred Williamson, uh, who is it? Jim Kelly--

-Uh huh. -And, uh, who is the third one?

Freida Hartley. $10 bet!

-No, no. Jim Brown! -Jim Brown!

-Jim Brown! -Jim Brown, Jim Brown!

[gunshots]

[screaming]

Gerard! Derrick!

-I want my money! -I don't even know you.

I'm just out here trying to get my money, man.

-You trying to clown me? -Leave him alone Nazario!

I took the money!

I know it was wrong!

I can't let you shoot my boy!

Come on, Nazario, this is my family, man!

We can work something out!

Oh, you gonna shoot a little boy?

You a real big man, huh? With a real big gun.

Well, shoot me then!

You ain't gonna shoot my wife!

You don't have to do this, son.

You gonna shoot all of us now?

♪

What are you drinking, man?

Some tequila would be nice.

♪

-Tequila. -[chattering]

♪ Dogs of the world unite

♪ Street dog, house dog

♪ Bow wow yippy yo yippy yay

♪ Bow wow yippy yo yippy yay ♪

Ooh, another year, another block party.

[chuckles] Bow wow wow, yeah...

What you know about Snoop Dog?

Snoop Dog? Come on, George Clinton came with that

way before Snoop got up in it.

-Dad, Dad. -Yeah.

-I'm sorry about-- -Look, don't say nothing, son,

it's all cool, it's all good.

Look, sometime thing happen, sometime thing happen right,

sometime thing happen wrong,

sometime people do the right thing,

sometime people do the wrong thing,

-just like your daddy. -Okay, you talkin' crazy, Daddy.

-How much have you-- -I had a little taste,

let me tell you something.

You know what he's gonna say now?

I've been wanting to say this for a while, to both of y'all.

You know that girl Tamika, come in here,

I said I didn't know her?

I know her, I do know her.

-Uh-huh. -She come in here a lot,

-and, uh... -Right.

-So what's up between y'all? -Yeah, her youngest.

-Huh? -This must be a joke or something.

Her youngest-- You see, me and Tamika--

-[Gerard] What? -[both] Say what?

Okay, you're kidding, right?

-Wait a minute. -Seriously, Daddy.

-Wait-- Wait a minute. -I knew it. I had a feeling.

And guess what his name is?

-What is his name? -Latrell.

-Latrell? -Mm-hmm.

-Latrell? -Latrell.

Do you know with a name like that,

you can only end up doing a couple things in life?

Basketball player, R&B singer.

You know what? Or one of those hair dressers

-down on Seven Mile, Daddy. -Don't dis your brother Latrell.

His name is Latrell Jenkins,

just like your name is Gail Jenkins,

just like your name is Gerard Jenkins.

He is a Jenkins, he is your blood,

he is your family, he is your little brother,

and he is going to look up to you

for the rest of your life.

So love him. Support him.

Come on, you gettin' too emotional on me.

Let's go back out and enjoy the party.

We got your back with Latrell.

Latrell Jenkins.

-Latrell Jenkins. -[chuckling]

[Earl] I voted for Clinton, George Clinton.

Hey, come on girl, let's dance a little bit.

♪ So high you can't get over it ♪

♪ So high, yeah, yeah, yeah

♪ This is a chance, this is a chance ♪

♪ To dance away...

[Mykell] Mr. Jenkins said, even though I done wrong,

I had a good head on my shoulders.

I just needed to learn the value of hard work.

He also hired Derrick part time

with the deal that the first ten checks

go straight to Nazario.

Man, Derrick is gonna work out just fine.

I'm not even worried about him at all.

I know, and he has the perfect mentality

for this neighborhood too.

[sniffs] Damn!

Y'all coming through the money slot, man!

Now, I heard of the Doobie Brothers

but y'all the Dookie Brothers up here.

[chuckling]

Yeah, straight up.

♪ Ready or not, yeah

So, when do you leave?

Two weeks.

Rented the truck and everything.

Wanna roll?

Hmm...

I might be up for a road trip.

[giggling]

Ooh-whee!

Man where that girl learn that at?

[whistles]

[Mykell] Well, as you can see,

a lot can happen on the corner.

-Wait a minute. -What?

-Mm-mm. Get up, get up. -What?

Nope, it's not happening here.

I'm not letting this happen again, nope.

Aw, man!

[Derrick] Y'all runnin' y'all mouth, man!

I told y'all to shut up, man!

[Mykell] Just another day in the D, y'all!

♪

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Huh

♪ Oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh

♪ Hey, oh, all right

♪ She always make me dance

♪ Something about the music

♪ She always make me dance

♪ She turns me on and on and all about ♪

-What up, champ, baby! -Yo, KO Kid!

-What's up, baby? -Oh nothing man, I--

You remember when you got knocked out, man?

See I got knocked out one time--

-You got knocked out, baby! -Now I'm getting--

-Cold! -Aw, man, you getting--

I fought five fights, I was champ for four-- four hours!

Hey, how'd it feel to get knocked out, man?

[Kato] I don't remember.

Hey, [indistinct].

[Kato] Let me run with ya. Let me run with 'ya!

-[chattering] -[clattering]

Aw, see, you ain't in no shape to run, man!

Stay--Man, go and sit down for a while.

I'll see you later.

Yeah, I'ma get you something.

[man] All right, keep it rolling, keep it rolling!

-[chuckling] -Hey look here man,

you take it easy like George and Weezy, young blood!

Don't sag too much. I see your thong!

[chuckling]

Hey-- Hey hold on.

Uh-huh.

Look, is this Popeye's?

-Mm-hm. Extra crispy. -[man] And cut!

-You think a car wash is bullet proof? -No, sir.

-You think a car wash is bulletproof? -No, sir.

-Then get in there and go to work! -Yes, sir.

Hey! Come in here! Get them rims done!

[chuckles] All right.

Need a car wash?

Need some barbecue?

You need some socks?

Well if it--

Well, if it ain't Ali Baba and the one thief.

And the African in the back.

[laughing]

Give us free!

If it ain't Amistad.

Hey, man, what you got up under your shirt, helium?

Look like the last break dancer.

-[chuckling] -You're more like

a cocky senior citizen!

-Two Coneys, one up! -[chuckling]

One loose, two Coneys!

I'm trying to get enough money to raise-- Uh!

[man] Let's go back to one.

You're just thinking about it a little too much!

Everybody get y'all punk asses on the floor right now!

-Wait, whip out, then say it? -[man] No you did it, yeah.

-Whip out then say it. -[laughing]

But, you know, I can get a patch kit

to take care of that leak for about $20 but--

Look, my boy over on Log Cabin,

he got one of these rusting out in his backyard,

I could probably raid it for parts for about $40.

New plugs ain't no thing.

Plus, she need brakes, oil change.

Boy, you talking about $2,000, boy.

-You got the money. -[chuckling]

I know I got the money in my pocket, don't I?

-Now you Rakim? -No, I'm not Rakim.

I don't act hip hop, I am hip hop!

No, you don't act hip hop, you are crazy!

-I mean think-- -What the hell

did he just say?

Can't believe you did that to my honey bun, man.

Hey-- You know, when I think about it,

it just makes me angry!

These devils, man, they-- Look!

And the same people that tells you what's in these darn honey buns

are the same people filming this movie!

[laughing]

I'm gonna deduct this from your $20 I owe you.

You still owe me 20 for the last time!

No, Earl owe you.

Gail owe you 20 from the last time.

That's right, it was Gail.

How is Gail?

-She good. -[laughing]

[clattering]

My main man Barnamo, what's happening baby?

-You got it bro. -A'right, look here.

You missed a spot right there, okay?

And get these damn wine bottles up, Baltimore.

That's what garbage cans for.

Yeah, well, Big Jim ain't cleaning up nothing!

I'm trying to find out who killed Michael Jackson.

[man] And cut!

♪ For a penny

♪ Anything you need they just might have it, really ♪

♪ I can remember when my momma used to tell me ♪

♪ Go down to the store

♪ There's one in almost every major city ♪