Original subtitles

Once upon a time,

there was a young man who lived a very exciting life.

The problem was, it was all in his head.

And when he tried to put words on it,

it always slipped away.

So he began prowling in the darkness

of other people's lives.

He meant no harm,

but he was very gentle.

And, of course, he didn't call it prowling.

For him, it was just... knowing.

Then one night, he heard a sad song.

It was soft, like the breeze on his hands and his face.

And he saw...

a woman,

walking about a glass house,

singing.

"There's a certain slant of light winter afternoons"

"that oppresses"

"like the heft of cathedral tombs."

- She was sort of like a bird. - She was sort of like, uh...

far away in the sky,

kind of... flying, sort of.

Sort of flying, kind of flying, sort of flying.

"When it comes the landscape glistens."

"Shadows hold their breath."

"When it goes it's like the distance"

"on the look of Death."

"The heavenly hurt it gives us."

"Solitude"

"a whiteness"

"where the meanings are."

"A nearness to tremendousness"

He tried not to come back.

Night after night.

After night.

Ow...

And slowly, Norman the Gentle

slipped into the darker side of curiosity.

He was not alone.

No!

Nooo!

No!

No! Noooo!

God...

Oh, my God...

God. I saw a woman and she's, uh...

Beaumont Street.

And... I didn't do anything.

I didn't do anything.

Almighty Father, creator of Heaven and Earth,

I beseech thee.

Please forgive me for I've sinned against you.

A little something for your writing, son.

- Oh, thanks, Dad. - If you need money, just call.

Jobs don't grow on trees, Sweetie.

- That's okay, Mother. - I'll take care of myself.

Bye.

He didn't tell his parents

what had finally pushed him out of their perfect blue house

and into life.

And he didn't know where he was going.

He just set out on his journey

towards honour, action

and, of course, he hoped,

love.

- Hey, hey, hey! - Would you stop that, you dink?!

Excuse me?

That's art!

Jesus! You're worse than the Sanitation Department.

What's happening here, in fact, is a happening.

Environmental art.

Of course. I'm so sorry.

It resonates.

We rape the environment to make newsprint,

to write stories about how we rape each other

and how we rape the environment and now the papers...

God. It resonates.

It certainly does.

You know where I can buy a newspaper?

Which day, today?

Ummm...

I think over here.

Hey, hey listen, you wouldn't want a job, would you?

Like, I work here for this guy,

but I'm trying to subcontract the work out.

You see, I'm really quite a very talented artist.

- Obviously. - The last guy got knifed.

No...

Well, they think the thief had a knife.

- I'd be interested. - Good.

- Yeah. - Yeah, okay.

Sixty percent for me, forty for you.

You can report for work tomorrow, okay?

- Sure. - Great. Let's find the paper.

Nice suit. Here it is. There.

What?

Oh, yeah.

That. What a bummer. She was a great,

- great singer. - Oh, dear God.

"The suspect in custody has a history of such attacks."

Oooh, she suffered 17 stab wounds and a broken neck.

Yuck, that's grim.

They don't say where the stab wounds were.

She was probably dismembered, you know. They usually are.

Hmm, what a drag.

Hey. Hey, Bud, what's the story here? You into this job or what?

Uh, listen, I'll be back tomorrow. Now's not a good time.

What?

She was...

like a horse.

Horse?

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here together

to mourn the passing of one of the most truly gifted among us.

Her untimely death was the result of a violent,

virulent cancer that is creeping across the land.

Did you know her?

Our only comfort can be the belief that beauty does not die.

When it is crushed in one,

it is carried forth in another.

Sometimes only in the gloriousness

of our expression of grief.

But in the case of the mysterious Madelaine X,

we have the simplicity and purity of song

to celebrate her beauty.

- Hi. - Well, look who's here!

Mr. Suit. Huh!

- You going to work? - Yeah, sure.

- All right, all right. - Let me show you. Let's see...

Magazines, newspapers,

girlie magazines in the back, theatre stuff here, movies,

candy, chocolate bars... Hey! You listening to me?

- Yeah, sure. - Okay. You got a name?

- Norm. - As in Norman?

- Just Norm. - Okay. I'm Zelda.

Great.

- Okay, make yourself at home. - Thanks.

Okay.

No-♪-♪! No-♪-♪!

No-♪-♪-♪!

Alrighty-Ray, that's good, that's good.

Yeah, I was thinking about this story about this guy

- who sees a woman attacked. - Neat.

- By what? - Some sicko that followed her.

And?

And it could be sort of powerful.

And he saves her?

No, he just stands there, sort of paralyzed.

And he feels horrible about it.

Nope, won't work.

Turn right here.

You can't have a wimp in the middle of a story.

Guys won't identify and girls won't be attracted.

He's not a wimp. He's just really affected by things.

- So what's the point? - Nothing, really.

Just that the world isn't a very kind place sometimes.

- Riveting. - Think so?

Needs a love interest.

Pull over here.

You live here?

Yeah. Come on.

- This is safe here, right? - Yeah. Come on. It's fine.

Neato!

- I'm sorry about the mess. - I'm a bit of a slob.

I bought this book once.

It was called How To Organize Your Life

and Become Wise and Everything in Three Easy Steps

but I lost it.

Norm... I want you.

Zelda, I wasn't thinking of, uh...

Of what?

Of sexual intercourse.

Oh, you're so cute, I can't stand it.

Okay, no agenda.

I was just, you know,

trying to work out the sleeping arrangements.

So let's see... Oh, there.

- That's for you, okay? - Okay.

So you're a homo, right?

Umm...

No, it's okay, I'm cool.

I mean, I figure some people like vanilla,

- some people like chocolate. - I'm not a homo, Zelda.

Oh.

Sorry.

- Um, Norm? - Hm-hm?

So, uh... what's wrong with me?

There's nothing wrong with you.

You're very...

you know...

No.

- Alluring. - Uh-huh.

I'm sorry, Zelda.

This love stuff is pretty complicated.

I once had a... liason

with this girl on our street

and it was beautiful and everything...

But when it was over,

she'd always say something really dumb, you know? Like...

about her mascara or some...

It was like a tuba coming in a measure early.

Not that you're like a tuba.

It's just complicated.

Well, if you want anything uncomplicated, Norm,

I'm right here.

And I won't be a tuba.

Okay.

A tuba. That's good.

No-♪-♪!

Hey, it's okay.

It's all right.

Sshhh. It's okay.

- Zelda, can I tell you a secret? - I'm your gal.

- I saw Madelaine X once. - So did I.

On Much Music. She was great. She was wearing this incred...

No, I mean I saw her at her home.

Over for tea, were ya?

I just got lost in the area...

I saw her.

Come on.

Someone like that would be more protected than the queen.

Yeah, well a guy got into the queen's bedroom once.

Nobody's safe.

I'm not even sure if it was her.

But you could tell from a photograph, right?

- It was dark. - It was far away and it was...

I just saw her sort of moving.

- Look it, look it. - Okay, I got this great idea.

Every station in town's gonna be

collecting footage on her, right?

Well, I have this very, very close personal friend

at the station. It's very close-by.

Hey, Jimmy!

I owe you one. Love you. Mean it.

"The soul selects her own society"

"and then shuts the door."

"The soul selects her own society"

"for a nobody"

"for a nobody"

"till nobody... no more."

That's her.

No shit?

Yeah.

"How dreary to be like somebody."

- There's something wrong, though. - What?

Well, her lips aren't in sync with the music sometimes. See?

Yeah, that's called singing to playback.

They all do it for videos.

That's what she was doing that night that I saw her.

- She was singing to music. - Like, she was singing

- to recorded music? - Yeah.

- Her own? - Yeah.

So?

- So her voice was different. - Huh.

"The soul's a lecture on society for a nobody"

"for a nobody"

"till nobody... no more."

Can you ever just go for a walk?

No, I'm pretty isolated.

What is that saying?

"If you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen."

Well, I can't.

The whole world's a kitchen.

I'd have to fake my own death.

- Fake my own death. - You know what?

That is really possible. She could've faked

- this whole thing... - Zelda, I don't think so.

Forget that all of those clapping hands

have fingernails on them and that there's a, umm...

Bloodthirstiness?

Well, that's rather a strong word.

No, no, I think that...

I think that society has a sense of balance

and that if you respected one individual for too long

or if you've liked him for too long

and that balance gets out of whack

and there is a need to hate that individual

to a parallel degree.

I mean, alive or dead, we pull our icons down eventually.

It's a very strange pattern we have.

Well, it's a very grim outlook.

Umm, could somebody call that paranoid?

No, it's not paranoid,

ifs just realistic. You know, there is a price.

She sure does know how to work the press.

Why are you doing this interview,

if you're so ambivalent about public life?

It's my job.

I mean, I like it.

I can't say that I don't like the attention.

Everybody wants to be understood.

Well, I'm just observing

that the relationship between the performer and the press

or the performer and the observer

is like this strange dance

and we're locked in some kind of embrace.

It's almost a sexual embrace.

And sometimes I love it

and sometimes it absolutely terrifies me.

It's almost a sexual embrace.

And sometimes I love it

and sometimes it absolutely terrifies me.

Hey, don't push! Hey!

Thanks.

Oh, Mother...

- Hello, Norman. - Hello, Mother.

I was just around the corner and... here you are.

Here I am. Thanks.

I won't stay long.

We were just worried about you.

Oh, Mum, you don't have to worry about me.

I told you I can take care of myself.

I know that, dear.

So, this must be your new... ensemble.

You forgot your handkerchief.

Thank you.

Who's that, dear?

I don't know. Uh, Mum,

I have got a few things I've gotta go do.

Uh, thanks for the cookies. They look great.

Uh, tell Dad I'll give you guys a call

later on in the week, okay?

Zelda, could you take care of the news stand for me

- for a little while? - Oh, okay.

Oh!

What are you doing here?

You followed me.

Yes, I did.

What do you want?

To know if you need any gardening work done?

Do you always follow people to their homes

to ask them if they need gardening work?

Rarely. I'm sorry. I...

I thought that... I don't know what I thou...

I was afraid I wouldn't see you again.

Do you like me?

Yes. Well, I mean...

It's hard to say. I don't even know you.

Umm...

but I do think your lawn could use a trim.

There's always the Japanese maple.

Which has the attractive bonus of fall color.

Or there's the... the "podcar".

Uh... "podpus".

"Podpus". Which makes a lovely, lacy screen

when planted in rows.

Do you plan to take out trees?

Oh, I don't think removal is the answer.

Well, first of all, did you know that the root system

of most trees has as much volume

as the exterior branch system?

Interesting, eh?

So, consequently, I think that removal is, uh...

too radical.

- It's all in the shaping. - In the shaping.

So what I was thinking was that I'd just start on it and, uh...

keep on going until we decide to stop.

And then stop.

Uh, this means, of course, that I'll have

to consult with you on a regular basis.

I don't know if you plan to be around, or...

Oh. Yes, I'll be around.

Well, then, there you go.

Uh, my name is Norm.

Thanks, Norm.

- Hm-mm. - Hi.

- Huh!! - Oh, I am sorry. I am so sorry.

Don't you do that.

I...

I was just gonna ask you about the, uh, the back.

Don't.

Okay, fine, fine.

I don't think this gardening thing is such a good idea.

Oh, no, I think you're very mistaken.

I was just about to ask you about trimming this hedge,

but we could, uh, make it, uh, undulating, sort of.

Undulating?

- Yeah, you know, like waves. - Could be great, couldn't it?

- Can you do me a favour? - Sure.

Can you make sure that no one comes onto this property?

Okay.

Are you worried about something?

Yes, this hedge.

How would we make it undulate?

Doesn't sound very practical.

Beautiful things aren't practical.

Ah, Belinda!

Hey, Belinda!

I mean, it just makes more sense

for me to kind of camp out there.

Sure you don't mind, eh?

No, no, that's fine. It's cool.

By the way, how's the Madelaine X story coming?

I got your number, Buddy. You're doing the story

and you're freezing me out, aren't ya?

You're imagining things.

What about that woman?

The one who looks like a horse?

How does she tie in?

You looked at my stuff.

I don't think that's very respectful, Zelda.

That's rich. Respectful?

Look, I'm sorry about the news stand job.

It's just not my cup of tea.

But I'll...

you know, I'll visit.

Oh, by the way,

where's my little tape recorder?

- What recorder? - Zelda!

Oh, yeah. It's, um...

It's at the news stand.

I'll be back for it. Nice try!

Aren't you hot, Ma'am?

Jane.

I can't believe

how long it's been since I've said that.

Yes, it must be at least 30 degrees out here.

Excuse me for asking,

but why don't you put on some cooler clothes?

I don't have any.

Yeah, well, it's dangerous to overheat yourself, you know.

You could make some.

I'm not a big sewer, Norm.

Well, here, I have an idea.

Come on. It's okay. Come on.

Hi there!

Uh, excuse me, what are you doing here?

Name's John Waters from down the road here.

This here is Belinda.

She's just finished running away for the third time this week.

So, on the way back, I just noticed your lane way here,

and I figured...

well, why not see if they'd like

to try and keep her happy.

She don't want to live with me no more.

Hello there, Madam.

Hello.

He says he wants to sell the cow.

Listen, Sir, I don't think we need a cow here

and so I think you should just...

Oh, my goodness, Norman, no need to be rude.

- I'm not being rude. - I just think that...

uninvited guests... Remember?

I don't think he's a threat, Norm.

So you'd like

to sell us this cow?

- Oh, yes, Ma'am. - She's a great milker.

Especially when I sing to her.

You sing to her?

Oh yeah. She really likes the cow-cow boogie.

She likes that cow song.

"Bessie moo-moo cow"

She's a good milker.

Are you getting any?

No. You?

No.

He said she likes music. What do you think?

Why not?

"There's a certain slant of light winter afternoons."

"That oppresses like the heft of cathedral tombs."

"When it comes the landscape glistens."

"Shadows hold their breath."

"When it goes it's like the distance"

"on the look of Death."

"The heavenly hurt it gives us..."

Norm?

"Solitude a whiteness."

"And an ache where"

"the meanings are."

"A nearness to tremendousness."

Okay. So I'll be leaving now, Jane.

Oh, okay.

- Bye, Norm. - Bye.

Excuse me for asking, but, uh...

aren't you ever afraid of being alone here at night?

Why?

It's just that the world isn't a very kind place sometimes.

You've noticed that too, have you?

Yeah. Well, I had some...

problems with my parents when I was young.

Like what?

Uh...

Well, they beat me.

You know, cigarettes, all that.

They beat you with cigarettes?

Never mind. Forget it.

Your mother didn't look the son.

How do you know?

In the park, remember?

She was checking up on you.

Bearing love and cookies.

- Were you watching me? - Yes.

And I had to get away from this place.

I needed some company.

Yeah, but you must know other people.

No, not really.

I'm not good at it.

Why me?

I don't know why I'm attracted to helpless people.

They move me.

Do you have someone who loves you?

It's okay.

Madelaine X's murderer has been arrested

and is awaiting trial. But this story isn't over yet.

It seems that no one has ever heard Madelaine sing live.

Not only did she lipsync all her concerts,

but it now appears she always brought in the voice tracks

for her albums already recorded.

So somebody out there has a great voice and isn't telling.

Well, whoever she is,

here she is at number four on the Hot 100.

Hello I'm Nobody.

"Hello I am nobody."

"Who are you."

"Oh I am nobody"

"the two of us..."

Norman came to believe

that she was the real singer,

and she had found him to protect her.

He swore that he would.

She, she, she...

Argh! God.

But still no words,

and no one to listen.

Until one day...

Okay, I'm gonna act on a need.

You don't care if it's a mutual need?

I'm sorry. Of course I do.

Well it is.

Shoot!

Hey, Buck.

What the hell brings you back?!

Actually, paper.

I finally wrote something.

What, how to put zip in your 'zaleas?

No, actually, it's sort of like a love story.

- Oh! - Careful.

Must be about that horse woman with the stupid hat, huh?

Yeah, her.

Uh, I guess she makes you "melt inside your skin." Huh.

"Makes your spine turn to rubber." Oooh, Normie.

- Good, huh? - Huh.

"Then I thought she was the real singer."

The voice behind Madelaine X? Holy shit, Norm!

- No, no, no, no. - Was that her?

- Forget it. Keep your pants on. - I was wrong.

She can't sing to save her life.

- How do you know? - Maybe she was fooling you.

- She wouldn't fool me. - I can't believe this.

This is great, Norm. You found her.

- Give it back, Zelda. - What?

- Give it back. - No.

Give it back!

Zelda! Zelda!!

Ha-ha!

Zelda!

Ha-ha!

- Give me... back. Uh. - Ha-ha-ha!

Norman.

- God. Give it to me. - Give it back!

Don't deny how I've suffered because of you.

- I don't believe this. - Will you give it back?!

So you're a reporter now. Is that the career of the week?

You make me fucking crazy!!

You're like this grasping demento running around

with a ladder, planting it in the ground and...

and climbing up in the ozone and falling flat on your face!

Where you climbing to, Zelda? Huh? You don't know.

You just want up, right? You got any skills, Zelda?

You gonna work to get any, huh? Oh, no, no, no! Work, no! Blah!

Oh, that's terrible. You don't work, do ya?

It's all about having the right connections, isn't it?

It's all about where you plant your fucking ladder!

Oh, great.

- Hey, they liked it, Normie. - Give 'em some more.

They like that, uh... you know, that masterful shtick.

- It's you they like, Zelda. - Go on, do something.

- What? - Yeah.

Oh. All right.

Hey! Jerk.

- Jeez, I hope she likes this. - Of course she's gonna love it.

She's gonna love it. I wrote it, she'll love it.

I wrote it, I wrote!

I can't believe I wrote something. Oh, God.

We were all shocked and devastated

by what happened to Maddie.

It's gonna be difficult,

but we'll have to make the best of it.

How do you make the best of death?

Well, you know what we mean.

Who told the press?

My ex.

Jane, they'll be all over us like flies.

We won't be able to breathe.

They're riding everyone at the record company:

The musicians,

Maddie's cleaning staff.

Nobody knows anything.

Now listen.

I write a couple more songs.

You try to imitate Maddie's mixes.

You call it a previously unreleased album

- and that's it, the story's over. - No.

But we will protect you.

We'll put in a surveillance system.

Jane, with one interview,

one live appearance and a few photos

and then we can do all of the rest.

Then, we can go on recording for years.

Come on. The press loves this stuff.

Liz...

I've never asked for very much.

Jane, you can have as much money as you need.

I mean, we did buy you this house.

- She bought it. - It wouldn't have occurred to you.

You know,

we can't be sure that they won't discover you anyway.

I wish it'd been me instead of Maddie.

- Please don't talk like that. - Please don't talk like that?

Jane. Jane!

- Jane, Jane, Jane... - She's playing with us.

She's getting all psychotic again.

Jane, relax. Please, Jane.

Relax, please?

Can't let the golden egg crack, can we?

- Jane, stop this game. - She'll be fine.

She'll be fine. Just give her a taste of life in limos.

She'll be fine. She's got no way out.

Jane, please don't do this.

Anybody who dares to act this crazy must be crazy.

What?

Jane, who the hell is that?

Excuse me,

but I think that you two should leave. Because, uh...

Because I think you should.

Powerful argument.

- Who the hell are you? - I'm Norm.

And I have been charged with the duty

of making sure that unwanted guests

are kept off this property.

So, if you please...

Okay.

I guess I'll just have to come back again.

Mm-hm.

And I will come back, Jane.

Please.

Ha! Ha! Ha!

You okay? What did they want?

Money wants me to talk.

I just can't think...

It's okay, it's all right.

I made something for you.

You're too nice to me.

- Yeah, well it... - When I was little,

I went to visit a canary farm, just to watch them.

Hundreds of canaries in big cages,

and I could hear that one of them

had an incredibly clear voice and so,

for a long time I stood there,

trying to find which one it was and then finally I saw him.

He was this scraggly, pathetic,

little grey thing with no feathers,

singing his little heart out.

Later, the owner told me that the other canaries al...

always peck at the one with the purest voice.

Maybe it had the purest voice because they pecked at it.

Maybe.

"Have you seen the ghost of Tom."

"Long white bones with the skin all gone."

"Pooor... Tom."

"Wouldn't it be chilly with no skin on."

You know, don't you?

Yeah.

Hi, kids.

What are you doing here?

- I, uh... - Go away.

I followed you here. I was curious to see what was so...

alluring.

How did... Zelda, go away!

She works at the news stand.

Don't worry, she doesn't know any...

Huh. So I see this has become quite an in-depth

little story here, Normie.

Norm?

She doesn't know what she's talking about.

I just found out...

You do realize that this young man has written

quite an intensive article on you? Right?

It's not an article.

Jane. Jane, listen, it's not an article.

Huh. You know, you have a really...

You have a lovely voice, Jane.

You ought to do something with that.

- Kill you! - I promise I'll kill you!

You know what? I'm a singer too. I have this...

Do you realize what you've done?

I have an idea, yes.

Whatever possessed you to barge in like that?

You don't realize how long it has taken me to gain her trust.

You've been kicked around so much, you don't even understand

- how fragile some people can be. - Oh, fragile-smagile.

Listen, listen, you got a juicy story and I want in on it.

Just relax. I can help you with the woman's angle, okay?

Okay, now look it, look it, I can help you.

Let's just trot right in there, right this second,

and get the exclusive. Do you have any idea what that's worth?

Well.

Well, I don't know. I don't think she's gonna talk

in front of somebody else. I really don't.

- Come on. - The woman has been living alone

for 15 years. She's not about to start throwing dinner parties.

Oh. Okay, listen, listen.

I'll see you back at the stand in an hour and a half, okay?

But listen, if I don't see you there, I got this, uh...

this little hit single here

that I'm sure quite a few people would be interested in.

- Just one? - One what?

- You've just got one song? - Yeah.

Oh, Jesus, Zelda, where the hell were you?

There was some great stuff earlier on.

Well, at least it's sort of clear.

Huh?

I better get back to her. She's nice and exposed right now.

If you're scamming me, you just remember

you got an hour and a half to get back to the stand. Okay?

If you're not there,

this place is gonna be swarming with fans real fast.

Don't worry, Zelda.

By the way, listen, I, umm...

I thought you loved her.

Her? You gotta be kidding.

All that stuff I was writing,

I wrote that to pry her open a little bit.

They thrive on compliments. You know.

God.

- I underestimated you. - Yeah.

Go.

Look, Jane, you don't understand.

No, I don't. Feels like a pretty cliché, story to me, Norm.

She thinks it's love, but it's only ambition.

Oh, it's been done, baby, it's been done.

- Look at me. Look at me. - We could run away together.

I'm not a reporter, I'm not a writer,

I've never, ever written anything.

I only heard all that stuff today

when those people came here. I just...

I just love you. I love you more than I can tell.

That's what I wrote. Listen.

Here. Read it, please. Read it. That's what I wrote.

Jane, please. Please. Please.

Please.

Please.

You don't understand.

"Wouldn't it be chilly with no skin on."

No, I don't.

I just, I just...

Zelda did that. She... she...

- It's my recorder, but... - Do you wanna know things?

- I left it at her house and... - Is that what you want?

You wanna know things?

- Come with me. - She recorded it. I got it ba...

- No, come on with me. - Jane, I would never hurt you.

You're gonna like this, Norm.

It'll appeal to your sense of drama.

- Jane... - Here we have...

a magic doorway.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen,

this is where

the sadly neurotic singer created some of her finest work.

And behind this curtain, we have a lovely array

of...

music-recording equipment.

Of course, the other instrumentation and final mixing

were done elsewhere by my best friend, my producer...

my face.

Jane, if you only read what I've written...

Over here, we have a series of songs

that no one has ever heard.

Black screams with happy faces.

- Yes, ladies and gentlemen... - Jane...

You're so right.

I think we should start.

Start?

Well.

We can get comfortable first.

You like me?

Yes. You know I do.

I love your body.

- I've loved watching you work. - Jane...

Come on, Norm.

Every story needs a tender love scene.

- This isn't a story. - Yes, it is.

So...

ask me a question.

Why are you doing this?

Good question.

I think it has something to do

with the geopolitical menace of terrorism

and our responsibility to the third-world nations...

- I love you. - Shut up!

Ask me how I got started.

Norm, the interview.

Ask.

How did you get started?

I just started.

That's a little dull, isn't it?

Okay, let's see...

Uh, Madelaine and I had been friends

since we were young.

And one day, we made an arrangement.

She was much more socially sexy

and knew the music biz and I could sing.

I never dreamt...

Ask me why I'm a recluse.

"Why are you a recluse, Jane?"

Uh, that's an interesting question.

I guess... I guess the best way to put it

is that some people are good at parties and some people aren't.

Oh!

Yes, thank you.

I am very special and talented.

Oh, yes, really, I am.

It comes to me in flashes, you see.

Anecdotes?

Oh, I have a raft of them.

In fact, my whole life is just

one big media anecdote.

Is that good?

Jane, listen to me.

Listen to me, Jane.

I love you.

Don't you realize how much I love you?

- And then... - I met a fine young man

at my own funeral.

And he was interested in gardening

- and I was interested in him. - It's okay.

It's okay. Listen to me.

I promise I won't hurt you.

Oh!

Really?

Ask me about one of the most exciting moments of my life.

- Please don't play this game. - No! Ask!

What was one of the most exciting moments of your life?

Oh, God.

I'm so glad you asked me that question.

Now...

Now, one of the most exciting moments of my life.

I was home alone, a while ago,

just rehearsing one of my songs,

when I received an unexpected guest.

And he cut my face and my arms.

And he pushed me to the ground.

And he ripped my clothes.

That wasn't you.

That wasn't your fault.

And then I heard my own voice far, far away, screaming

and screaming and screaming...

"No-♪-♪-♪..."

It's okay, it's okay.

It's your hands, it's your face, you're here.

It's okay, it's okay.

Hey, Jane! Jane, it's Zelda.

I know that you've gotta be in there and...

Why don't you just come on out here?

There's a few people who want to just ask you a few questions.

It's no big hairy deal.

We just wanna, uh...

sort of like an impromptu press conference here, okay?

So just come on out. Don't be worried about anything. Okay?

We'll meet in 12 hours, all right?

Jane, are you all right?

It'll work, I promise you. It's the only way.

Say you understand.

All right?

All right.

Ladies and gentlemen...

There she is.

I will speak to you, but not here.

Let me bring you to my recording studio.

And I will answer all your questions there.

- Come on. Hurry up, everyone. - She's ready to talk. Come on.

Can you do both of us at the same time, because...

Okay, sshhh, sshhh. Okay.

- What's going on here? - Oh my God.

I'm sorry to have deceived you,

but it was the only way to protect her.

I led you here so that she could escape.

Please, please, please.

She's a very fragile woman.

And she prays that you'll let her live quietly.

And she asked me to tell you,

to thank you for listening to her songs.

And she also asked me to say goodbye.

Thank you.

She was a personal friend of mine, so I actually...

Hey, lady, lady, is that your kid in there?

- Hey, do you live here? - Yes, I do.

- Who are you? - There was a young man...

- How does he know Madelaine X? - Is he involved in music?

- Is he a musician? - Uh, one at a time, please.

Yes, Norm is very musical.

Oh, Mother! No, no, I'm sorry, not you. No.

Uh, yeah, yeah. So that's flight 871, Toronto to Paris,

Air Canada, this evening, 11 P.M.

All right, thank you.

Actually, Norm's always been quite creative.

Very creative and very sensitive.

That's his father's influence.

Actually, ever since he was a very small boy,

I've always felt Norm was somehow special.

And finally,

Norman raced back to rescue his princess.

Jane!

But her heart had been broken.

For her fear of the world was much too great

and her refuge from it had been destroyed.

So she had taken her own life.

Norman did not know how to live

in a world that had endings like this.

He had wished for something so very different.

So he concentrated all of his powers,

all that he'd learned,

and all that he'd loved,

and turned back time.

And then he wrote himself

a much kinder ending to the story.