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BUILDER REFUSED
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00:00:03,000 --> 00:00:05,000
INSPIRATION THAT MADE LADY SING
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DEFENSE ATTORNEYS WHO DEFEND
THEM.
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>> Huey: IN RETROSPECT, IT
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THIS IS ONE OF THEIR STORIES.
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JUST FINISHED UP WITH THE
CLERK.
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HE'S SHOOK UP BUT OKAY.
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SAID THE GUY JUST FLIPPED OUT,
STARTED DANCING LIKE
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COME
COME
COME
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FAULT, GRANDDAD.
MICHAEL JACKSON, THEN SHOWED A
GUN AND ROBBED THE PLACE.
TILL THE WAR IS WON
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TILL THE WAR IS WON
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FORGIVE YOU.
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PERP WAS A BLACK MALE, AROUND
19, REALLY SEXY --
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00:00:22,000 --> 00:00:23,000
OVER!
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SEXY?
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EXACTLY HOW SEXY?
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DIMPLES, "HONEY BROWN"
COMPLEXION, CHISELED ABS, EXTRA
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00:00:28,000 --> 00:00:29,000
SHINY CHAP-STICKED LIPS...
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Huey: THIS IS WOODCREST -- AN
I THINK, TO UNDERSTAND THE
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DAMN, THAT IS SEXY.
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>> Granddad: OH, NO.
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THERE'S ONLY ONE 19-YEAR-OLD
BLACK MALE THAT MATCHES THAT
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SEXY PROFILE.
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PRETTY BOY FLIZZY.
STORY OF THE FREEDOM RIDERS, YOU
HAVE TO UNDERSTAND HOW ABHORRENT
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NEVER HEARD OF HIM.
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NOT TO SHOW IT, OUR MONEY
PROBLEMS HAD CLEARLY MADE
UM, ONLY THE HOTTEST
UP-AND-COMING R&B STAR!
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HERE IS WHERE ROBERT JEBEDIAH FREEMAN, WAR
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GRANDDAD A LITTLE CRAZY.
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00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:41,000
YOU'VE HEARD OF HIS SONGS --
"TITTY TELETHON"?
WHAT WAS ONCE A PRODUCTIVE SENIOR CITIZEN WAS NOW REDUCED
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00:00:41,000 --> 00:00:42,000
Granddad: SEGREGATION WAS SO
BAD BACK THEN, MY RULE WAS IF IT
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Granddad: HUEY, RILEY, IS
THAT ELECTRICITY I HEAR?!
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"PLEASURE ME ORALLY"?
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"DON'T TOUCH MY ANUS, GIRL"?
ALL RIGHT, THINK.
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HOW WOULD I HAVE HEARD THIS?
WE GOT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT WE'RE
WAS IN THE SOUTH, IT WASN'T
WORTH IT.
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READY FOR ANOTHER KARDASHIAN
SHOW?
OKAY, I KNOW YOU'VE HEARD,
"YOU MAKE ME WANNA UNH!"
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HUEY, WHAT DO WE DO?
AND MOST OF MY FAMILY WAS IN THE
SOUTH, AND I DIDN'T CARE.
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THIS HOUSE IS AN AIRPLANE.
LEAST THERE'S TV TO MAKE IT
BETTER.
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ALL DAY LONG ON THE RADIO,
THAT'S ALL I HEAR, EVEN ON THE
>> Huey: WE GO HOME. THIS WAY.
'CAUSE THE NEW KARDASHIAN HAS
NEW IDEAS!
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WHAT'S ON, RILEY?
Huey: WE'RE RIGHT HERE,
GRANDDAD.
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00:00:51,000 --> 00:00:52,000
WHITE STATIONS.
SO, IT'S WITH THAT BACKDROP
THAT A HANDFUL OF US DECIDED TO
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MATTER OF FACT, GET OUT HERE!
NO, I HAVEN'T HEARD
"YOU MAKE ME WANNA UNH!"
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WE HAVE NO HOME.
NOTHING ON.
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WE ARE LEAVING WOODCREST
FOREVER.
YOU SHOULD BE DONE TRYING ON
THOSE CLOTHES.
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THAT'S DISGUSTING.
Granddad: NOPE.
WE HAVE NOTHING!
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EH, IT'S NOT MY THING, BUT
IT'S WHAT PASSES FOR R&B NOW,
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Riley: I CAN'T WEAR THIS.
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ALL RIGHT?
Granddad: WHY NOT?
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Huey: NOW, THAT'S TRUE,
GRANDDAD.
ROBERT JEBEDIAH FREEMAN IS A
VERY ODD RECURRING CHARACTER IN
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I GOT TEENAGE DAUGHTERS.
Granddad: WHAT'S THAT?
SHE HAS EVERYTHING I NEED IN A
WOMAN.
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Riley: "BASKETBALL WIVES."
THEY'RE INTO BLACK GUYS, SO THIS
IS WHAT I GOT TO HEAR.
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LOOKS STYLISH TO ME.
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TELL HIM, HUEY.
MM-MMM-MMM!
WHAT HAPPENED TO THE GOOD OLD
DAYS WHEN BLACK SINGERS WOULD
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Huey: IT'S NOT STYLISH.
YUH-HUH.
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Granddad: IF KRIS KROSS CAN
JUMP IN THEM, YOU CAN WALK TO
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00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:07,000
DRESS IN HIGH-HEEL BOOTS OR BURN
HOOKERS WITH CRACK PIPES?
IT'S STILL EDGY, NOT ONLY 'CAUSE
HE'S BLACK, BUT INSTEAD OF LONG
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FEEL IS, WELL, NOT AT ALL
ACCURATE.
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BUT NOTHING WORKED OUT AS
PLANNED.
OH, MAN, LOOK AT THEM GO!
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YOU'RE SHOWING YOUR AGE, MY
FRIEND.
MONEY, HE'S GOT LONG BALLS.
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>> Huey: GRANDDAD!
ALL THAT BUTT AND WEAVE AND
SWEAT.
FLIZZY'S IN TOWN, DOING A SHOW
AT WOODCREST POST PAVILION
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SEE, THIS IS WHY NIGGERS DROP
OUT OF SCHOOL.
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HOW COME I'VE NEVER SEEN THIS
BEFORE?
ANOTHER, AND IT'S ALL MY FAULT
FOR MOVIN' US HERE.
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I WAS HOPING TO GO.
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NOW I HAVE AN EXCUSE.
Huey: IS THIS HOW YOU'RE
GONNA GO OUT, GRANDDAD?
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UH-OH.
I'M TAKING RESPONSIBILITY.
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>> Granddad: NOPE. THIS IS IT.
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Riley: WELL, I SAY IT'S ABOUT
TIME!
EATING JUNK FOOD AND WATCHING
JUNK TV?
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END OF THE ROAD FOR ME.
YEP.
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I BEEN SAYIN' THIS PLACE SUCKS
SINCE WE SHOWED UP.
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>> Huey: GRANDDAD, WE DON'T HAVE
Granddad: ONE TICKET FOR
CHICAGO, THANK YOU KINDLY.
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Granddad: WELL, I HAVE
LEARNED MY LESSON.
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BUILDER REFUSED
Huey: WE WERE CAUGHT IN A
CYCLE OF DESPAIR, VIOLENCE, AND
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>> Granddad: YOU GUYS GO.
SO IF HE HAPPY LOOKIN' AT HOES
HE CAN'T BAG, LEAVE HIM BE.
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Granddad: NOT REALLY.
INSPIRATION THAT MADE LADY SING
Huey: WAIT A MINUTE,
GRANDDAD.
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I'M GOING TO STAND IN THE MIDDLE
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WHAT'S GOIN' ON?
I HAD TO FIND A REAL SOLUTION.
Granddad: LOOK AT THE
BREASTS...THE BUTTS...
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Granddad: WHATEVER DO YOU
MEAN, GRANDSON?
LIKE, HOW YOU DON'T GET UPSET
WHEN FANS THINK YOU'RE MY DRIVER
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00:01:28,000 --> 00:01:29,000
UNTIL THE
WHOO!
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Huey: WHY DON'T YOU GET A
JOB?
Huey: I MEAN, YOU NEVER TAKE
RESPONSIBILITY OR LEARN A
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THEN I'M GONNA GO OUT LIKE A
OR O.J. SIMPSON OR WHATEVER.
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00:01:31,000 --> 00:01:32,000
Granddad: UPSET?
G!
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LESSON...EVER.
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Granddad: UH...
LOTS OF OLD PEOPLE ARE GOING
BACK TO WORK.
FOR US TO BECOME SLACKERS THAT
ZONE OUT ON TV AND EAT CHEAP
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THEY WERE OUTSIDE THE LIMOUSINE.
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00:01:35,000 --> 00:01:36,000
Huey: WE'RE BROKE, AREN'T WE,
GRANDDAD?
Granddad: THE DAY I WAS
LEAVING, IT WAS ALL OVER THE
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Granddad: EHHH...
YOU'RE SO FUNNY.
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00:01:37,000 --> 00:01:38,000
FOOD?
Riley: GRANDDAD BROKE? PSH.
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COME
CHEAP FOOD TASTES GOOD, AND IT'S
CHEAP.
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00:01:39,000 --> 00:01:40,000
HUEY, YOU CRAZY, BOY.
THESE FREEDOM RIDERS -- YOUNG,
IDEALISTIC, BOLD KIDS WHO WERE
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TILL THE WAR IS WON
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Huey: YEAH, AND IT'LL KILL
YOU.
EVERYBODY KNOW GRANDDAD GOT LOTS
OF PAPER.
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RIDING BUSES FROM
WASHINGTON, D.C., TO NEW ORLEANS
Riley: UNTIL THEY MAKE A
SALAD THAT TASTES LIKE RIBS,
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00:01:43,000 --> 00:01:44,000
TELL HIM, GRANDDAD.
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YOU'RE STILL FAST.
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00:01:45,000 --> 00:01:46,000
I'MA DO ME.
TO TEST AND CHALLENGE
SEGREGATION -- END JIM CROW.
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IF IT'S MARKED WITH A BLACK
BUBBLE GRAFFITI "R," PAWS OFF!
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I'M SORRY, BOYS.
THEY DULL OUR MINDS WITH
POISONOUS FOOD AND MINDLESS TV,
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00:01:48,000 --> 00:01:49,000
THE PAPER SAID THEY WERE
EXPECTED TO ARRIVE IN ALABAMA
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00:01:49,000 --> 00:01:50,000
Riley: AW, NO, GRANDDAD.
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00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:51,000
YOU DIDN'T!
THEN WHILE WE'RE FAT AND SICK,
THEY'RE GETTING RICH.
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00:01:51,000 --> 00:01:52,000
Granddad: YEAH, AND AFTER ALL
THAT, A NIGGER IS TIRED.
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00:01:52,000 --> 00:01:53,000
Huey: GRANDDAD, CALM DOWN.
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00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:54,000
Granddad: EXCUSE ME FOR A
QUICK SECOND.
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Huey: WELL, I THINK YOU COULD
DO IT.
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00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:56,000
MWAH!
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00:01:56,000 --> 00:01:57,000
GRANDDAD, WHAT WE GOT TO EAT?!
Huey: THE WEALTHY RULING
CLASS IN AMERICA.
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00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:58,000
WE HAVE NO MONEY?
Both: OUCH!
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00:01:58,000 --> 00:01:59,000
Granddad: RENT!
Riley: HEY!
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00:01:59,000 --> 00:02:00,000
Granddad: THEN HAVE SLEEP FOR
DINNER!
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00:02:00,000 --> 00:02:01,000
Huey: WHO IS THAT?
WHAT'S WORSE THAN NO MONEY?
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00:02:01,000 --> 00:02:02,000
YOU CAN EAT TOMORROW.
Riley: PIZZA GUY.
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00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:03,000
YOU'RE GETTING FAT ANYWAY!
Granddad: DAMN IT!
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00:02:03,000 --> 00:02:04,000
AS YOU KNOW, THERE HAS BEEN A
BLACK CLOUD FOLLOWING US, BUT
THE SECURITY-CAMERA FOOTAGE
YOU'RE WATCHING IS ALLEGEDLY OF
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00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:05,000
Huey: HOW MUCH?
TRY THOSE.
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00:02:05,000 --> 00:02:06,000
Granddad: A COUPLE...
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A COUPLE...
DON'T GET ME WRONG. UNH-UNH.
Riley: NIGGA, I'M HUNGRY.
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R&B SUPERSTAR PRETTY BOY FLIZZY
HOLDING UP A LIQUOR STORE IN
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Granddad: MNH-MNH.
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00:02:09,000 --> 00:02:10,000
Huey: HUNDRED THOUSAND?
MAKING IT RAIN!
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Granddad: MILLION!
THAT WAS A "TWO FOR TUESDAY"
SPECIAL.
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00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:12,000
WOODCREST.
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I REFINANCED WITH THAT DAMN
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ALL THESE PEOPLE IN LINE FOR
ROTE, DEHUMANIZING WORK?
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00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:15,000
WHILE IT IS DIFFICULT TO
CLEARLY SEE THE SUSPECT'S FACE,
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00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,000
UGH!
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DAMN IT!
ADJUSTABLE-RATE MORTGAGE!
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00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:18,000
AUTHORITIES SAY HIS SEXINESS IS
AN EXACT MATCH.
I THOUGHT YOU READ BOOKS!
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00:02:18,000 --> 00:02:19,000
THE DANCING LADY IN THAT POP-UP
AD LOOKED SO FRIENDLY!
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00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:20,000
SHE IS A RICH WHITE WOMAN!
THIS ISN'T FLIZZY'S FIRST
RUN-IN WITH THE LAW.
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00:02:20,000 --> 00:02:21,000
THIS IS HOW BLACK PEOPLE GET
FREE!
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00:02:21,000 --> 00:02:22,000
LAST YEAR, HE RECEIVED FOUR
MONTHS PROBATION AFTER BEATING
JOB YESTERDAY, AMIGO.
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00:02:22,000 --> 00:02:23,000
YOU THINK HARRIET TUBMAN COULD
AFFORD TO BUILD ALL THOSE
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00:02:23,000 --> 00:02:24,000
UP TO 21%?
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00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,000
RAILROAD STATIONS ALONE?
HIS THEN-GIRLFRIEND CHRISTIANNA
LIVE ONSTAGE DURING THE GRAMMYS.
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00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,000
Riley: AW, GRANDDAD.
Granddad: HUEY, I DON'T CARE
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00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:27,000
HELLO?!
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00:02:27,000 --> 00:02:28,000
>> Huey: I TOLD YOU -- I'M
WHAT YOU SAY.
I'D JUST LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO
ALL MY FANS FOR BEATING MY HOT
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00:02:28,000 --> 00:02:29,000
WORKING WITH VERY UNSTABLE
I'M GONNA EAT MY PIZZA AND WATCH
MY "BASKETBALL WIVES" AND
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00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:30,000
Granddad: I'M SORRY.
WELL, THANK YOU, AMIGO.
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00:02:30,000 --> 00:02:31,000
I'M SO...SO...SO...
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00:02:31,000 --> 00:02:32,000
SCRATCH!
HEY HIM, TRYING TO
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00:02:32,000 --> 00:02:33,000
Riley: IT'S GONNA BE REAL
EMBARRASSING BEING THE ONLY
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00:02:33,000 --> 00:02:34,000
R&B GIRLFRIEND.
OH, NO, I AIN'T AFRAID OF A
CONFRONTATION.
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00:02:34,000 --> 00:02:35,000
I LET MY FANS DOWN.
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00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:36,000
FINANCIAL PLANNER, AND YOU'RE
AH, HELLO, ROBERT.
WITHOUT YOU, I WOULDN'T EVEN
HAVE AN R&B GIRLFRIEND TO BEAT.
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00:02:36,000 --> 00:02:37,000
TAKE OUR JOBS.
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00:02:37,000 --> 00:02:38,000
UH, I JUST WANTED TO MAKE SURE
THAT YOU WERE AWARE THAT THE,
A NICE WHITE DELIVERY MAN GAVE
ME A PIZZA FOR A DOLLAR.
Both: WHOA.
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00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:39,000
>> Huey: MAN, WHY WE HAVE TO GO?
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00:02:39,000 --> 00:02:40,000
A YEAR BEFORE THAT, FLIZZY
RECEIVED A TWO-YEAR SUSPENDED
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00:02:40,000 --> 00:02:41,000
SITUATION HAS CHANGED, WE NEED
UH, COLORED RESTROOM COULD USE
SOME ATTENDING.
PROBABLY GOT SCARED ONCE HE
LEARNED NIGGAS LIVE AROUND HERE
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00:02:41,000 --> 00:02:42,000
BESTIES!
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00:02:42,000 --> 00:02:43,000
WHAT YOU WANT ME TO DO ABOUT
THAT, PORCH MONKEY?
SENTENCE FOR SMUGGLING AUTOMATIC
WEAPONS FROM NICARAGUAN REBELS.
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00:02:43,000 --> 00:02:44,000
PEOPLE -- ALL OF US.
OW. OW. OW!
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00:02:44,000 --> 00:02:45,000
>> Huey: I TOLD YOU I HAVE TO
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00:02:45,000 --> 00:02:46,000
Granddad: OH, RUCKUS, YOU
THINK EVERYTHING IS OBAMA'S
I'D JUST LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO
ALL MY FANS FOR SMUGGLING
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00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,000
THE TIME AND AVAILABLE
JANITORIAL STAFF.
NOBODY GOT TIME FOR YOUR
FOOLISHNESS.
PAYMENT
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00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:49,000
JUST DOING A CHEMISTRY PROJECT
I BET IT'S CLEANER THAN THAT
JUNGLE YOU COME FROM, COONSKIN.
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00:02:49,000 --> 00:02:50,000
Ruckus: THAT'S BECAUSE IT IS.
AUTOMATIC WEAPONS FROM
SOUTH AMERICAN DEATH SQUADS.
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00:02:50,000 --> 00:02:51,000
HE GOT ELECTED AND MADE GOOD
WHITE FOLKS FEEL SELF-CONSCIOUS
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00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:52,000
I SWEAR.
SAID HE WANTS TO SEE YOU IN HIS
OFFICE IMMEDIATELY.
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00:02:52,000 --> 00:02:53,000
SORRY I'M LATE, KARDI.
I MAKE NO EXCUSES, OTHER THAN IT
WAS A REALLY GOOD DEAL AND THEY
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00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:54,000
UNDER
MY HOROSCOPE SAID KEEP AN EYE
OUT FOR CAREER OPPORTUNITY,
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00:02:54,000 --> 00:02:55,000
>> Granddad: WHAT IS THAT --
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00:02:55,000 --> 00:02:56,000
Riley: SUCKER!
WERE THROWING IN A LOT OF FREE
AMMUNITION.
SEE, A SHOESHINE BOY IS SOMEBODY
YOU SHOULD FEEL COMFORTABLE
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00:02:56,000 --> 00:02:57,000
THEN, BAM!
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00:02:57,000 --> 00:02:58,000
SIX MONTHS AGO, FLIZZY WAS
ARRESTED FOR FIGHTING IN THE
I RAN INTO DMX'S COUSIN'S
MANAGER AT THE MALL, THEN AGAIN
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00:02:58,000 --> 00:02:59,000
UP THEIR BOOTY HOLE, THEN THEY
NOW?
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00:02:59,000 --> 00:03:00,000
NOW, I DON'T MIND USING THE
COLORED BATHROOM, BUT IT IS A
WATER
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00:03:00,000 --> 00:03:01,000
V.I.P. SECTION OF A NIGHTCLUB
WITH NICKI MINAJ.
VIOLATION OF MY CIVIL RIGHTS IF
THAT BATHROOM IS COVERED IN
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00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:02,000
TO BLOW UP THE WHOLE PLANE?
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00:03:02,000 --> 00:03:03,000
YOU'D BETTER NOT BE MAKING NO
TO YOU BROKE NIGGAS AT ALL.
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00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,000
WHITE MAN BRINGS YOU NOTHING BUT
OPPORTUNITY.
I'D JUST LIKE TO APOLOGIZE TO
ALL MY FANS, FOR FIGHTING IN THE
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00:03:04,000 --> 00:03:05,000
THE BATHROOMS SHOULD BE EQUALLY
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00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:06,000
GRANDDAD.
I HOPE HE CALLS ME.
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00:03:06,000 --> 00:03:07,000
THAT'S THE LAW.
V.I.P. SECTION WITH NICKI MINAJ.
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00:03:07,000 --> 00:03:08,000
HEY, HOW ABOUT I GET YOU A
MOP, AND YOU CLEAN IT, JIGABOO?
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00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:09,000
I'VE BEEN THINKING ABOUT GOING
Granddad: WELL, YOU CAN GO
TELL JUNIOR IF HE WANTS TO TALK
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00:03:09,000 --> 00:03:10,000
IN MY DEFENSE, I THOUGHT SHE WAS
A ROBOT SENT FROM THE FUTURE TO
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00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,000
WITH THE BILLY DEE LOOK.
179
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:12,000
SO, I BRAVELY WENT INTO THE
180
00:03:12,000 --> 00:03:13,000
KILL ME.
READ MY AMAZON WISH LIST.
181
00:03:13,000 --> 00:03:14,000
WOODCREST TEA PARTY CHAIRMAN
UNCLE RUCKUS STAGED A SMALL
Ruckus: WELL, AIN'T THAT THE
POT CALLING THE NIGGA BLACK.
182
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:15,000
ON YOUR TV, TALKING ABOUT
"MAHMOUD AHAMADAMADINEJAD" AND
183
00:03:15,000 --> 00:03:16,000
WHITES-ONLY BATHROOM, AND I TOOK
A DUMP.
184
00:03:16,000 --> 00:03:17,000
PROTEST AT THE VENUE TODAY.
185
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:18,000
Ruckus: WHO KEEPS GIVING
THESE HIGH-YELLOW FELONS RECORD
186
00:03:18,000 --> 00:03:19,000
DON'T HOLD BACK.
THAT JUST COMPLICATES THE
RELATIONSHIP.
187
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:20,000
WHICH IS AKIN TO OWNING THE AIR
IN A BALLOON 'CAUSE YOU NIGGAS
188
00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:21,000
CONTRACTS?!
IT WAS A DUMP FOR FREEDOM, A
STINKY LOAD FOR THE DIGNITY OF
189
00:03:21,000 --> 00:03:22,000
>> I'VE BEEN GIVING IT TO YOU
190
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,000
OH, OH, IT'S JUST A RECORD YOU
SAY!
191
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:24,000
MR. FREEMAN.
THE BLACK MAN.
Granddad: I AIN'T GOING
NOWHERE.
192
00:03:24,000 --> 00:03:25,000
TAKE THAT, CHARLIE.
WELL, WHITE FOLKS, YOU WON'T BE
SAYING THAT WHEN THE NIGGA THAT
193
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:26,000
GONNA BE THE PRESIDENT?
Ruckus: WELL, ROBERT, AS MUCH
AS IT PAINS ME TO DO THIS...
194
00:03:26,000 --> 00:03:27,000
THIS IS FOR YOUR MAMA.
YOUR CREDIT CARDS IS MAXED OUT.
195
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:28,000
AAH! OOH.
SINGS ON THAT RECORD COMES TO
TOWN AND IMPREGNATES ALL THE
196
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:29,000
YOU'RE BROKE.
197
00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,000
YOU'VE GOT ZIP, ZERO, ZILCH.
AAH!
198
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,000
OW!
TAPATíO-SMELLING ASS AND FEEL
COMFORTABLE YOU WILL NEVER SEE
199
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:32,000
OH.
WHITE WOMEN OF CHILD-REARING
AGE!
200
00:03:32,000 --> 00:03:33,000
BEFORE YOU AND YOUR
Granddad: FREE AT LAST.
Granddad: NOW, WHERE WAS I?
201
00:03:33,000 --> 00:03:35,000
AND THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT HE
PLANS TO DO!
HIS ILLEGAL ASS IN
THE ROOSEVELT ROOM.
IF THIS GETS PICKED UP AND I
DON'T GET A SPIN-OFF SHOW I'M-A
202
00:03:35,000 --> 00:03:36,000
STARVING.
JUST THINK OF ALL THE GOVERNMENT
MONEY AND FOOD STAMPS THAT THEM
203
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,000
DO YOU REALLY NEED CABLE,
GET A SPIN-OFF SHOW CALLED
"BLACK ASSISTANT BITCHES WHO
204
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:38,000
Huey: YOU KNOW, IT'S ONLY A
MATTER OF TIME BEFORE YOU HAVE
YOU REALLY NEED ALL THAT DAMN
ORANGE JUICE?!
205
00:03:38,000 --> 00:03:39,000
I SEE A LOT OF MONEY ON
KILL THEIR BOSSES."
206
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:40,000
YOU AIN'T GOT NO CHANCE.
TO SEE EDDIE.
LITTLE MIXED-RACE QUADROON NIGGA
CHILDREN WILL BE CONSUMING!
207
00:03:40,000 --> 00:03:41,000
>> Riley: WE DON'T GO TO
Riley: HEY, HUEY.
208
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:42,000
RESTAURANTS.
I'M MY OWN MAN.
209
00:03:42,000 --> 00:03:43,000
I DON'T MOVE UNTIL I'M READY.
AND THEY CONSUME A WHOLE LOT
MORE THAN REGULAR CHILDREN
210
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:44,000
HELL OF A WORK ETHIC.
FROM NOW ON, THAT'S ALL THE
ORANGE JUICE YOU GET.
211
00:03:44,000 --> 00:03:45,000
PSYCH.
212
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:46,000
>> YOU'LL PROBABLY ALSO NEED TO
'CAUSE THEY EATIN' FOR TWO
RACES!
OKAY, GIRLIE, CHOP CHOP!
213
00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:47,000
I'MA STILL BE THIRSTY AFTER
THAT.
214
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:48,000
OTHERS FELT DIFFERENTLY.
215
00:03:48,000 --> 00:03:49,000
HOW MANY KIDNEYS DO YOU HAVE,
I DON'T CARE WHAT ANYONE
SAYS.
HEY!
216
00:03:49,000 --> 00:03:50,000
LISTEN UP.
Granddad: IT'S NOT A DOCTOR'S
APPOINTMENT, IS IT?
217
00:03:50,000 --> 00:03:51,000
MR. FREEMAN?
FLIZZY CAN WHUP MY ASS ANYTIME!
218
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:52,000
DO YOU HAVE ANY FRIENDS WHO
219
00:03:52,000 --> 00:03:53,000
GOD, NO!
COME ON! BEAT IT UP, FLEEZY!
220
00:03:53,000 --> 00:03:54,000
TRAFFIC IN DRUGS?
GOD, YOU CAN'T GIVE ME A GIFT
AND THEN TAKE IT AWAY!
221
00:03:54,000 --> 00:03:55,000
WHOO!
222
00:03:55,000 --> 00:03:56,000
OCCUPIED BY THE FREEDOM RIDERS.
Sarah: I WANT YOU TO GET MAD
AT ME, ONCE IN AWHILE, YOU KNOW?
223
00:03:56,000 --> 00:03:57,000
MR. FREEMAN, LOOK OVER HERE!
224
00:03:57,000 --> 00:03:58,000
Granddad: TAKE THAT, YOU
225
00:03:58,000 --> 00:03:59,000
Tom: IF YOU WOULDN'T MIND...
I'M NOT SICK, SILLY!
226
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:00,000
Granddad: TURN THAT DOWN.
CRACKER-ASS CRACKER!
227
00:04:00,000 --> 00:04:01,000
NOW LISTEN, LISTEN. Shh!
AND AM I READING THIS RIGHT?
HOW THEY JUST GONNA COME UP INTO
OUR HOUSE AND MAKE US DO WHAT WE
228
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:02,000
IT'S JUST A REGULAR CELEBRITY
APPOINTMENT.
229
00:04:02,000 --> 00:04:03,000
Sarah: I'M TIRED OF IT!
SPECIAL WHITE-PEOPLE QUILTED
TOILET PAPER!
230
00:04:03,000 --> 00:04:04,000
IT'S BORING!
DON'T WANT TO DO?
231
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:05,000
IT'S BORING ME TO DEATH!
A COUPLE OF YEARS AGO...
FREEMAN.
232
00:04:05,000 --> 00:04:06,000
Granddad: DEAD.
233
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:07,000
Tom: SARAH, PLEASE CALM DOWN!
STARVING KIDS THE MONEY I JUST
MADE COULD HAVE SAVED.
234
00:04:07,000 --> 00:04:08,000
WHAT? I'M OLD.
235
00:04:08,000 --> 00:04:09,000
RUSHING UP IN MY HOUSE AND
FORCING ME TO COME HERE?
I SAID I APOLOGIZE!
236
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:10,000
SOMETIMES WHEN I SNEEZE, I
MYSELF.
237
00:04:10,000 --> 00:04:11,000
OUT OF NOWHERE, A
MR. UNCLE RUCKUS.
238
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:12,000
Sarah: THERE YOU GO AGAIN.
OH.
239
00:04:12,000 --> 00:04:13,000
YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN!
ONCE --
MOVING ON.
240
00:04:13,000 --> 00:04:14,000
Sarah: APOLOGIZING!
OH, HOW THE HIGH YELLOW SHALL BE
AND WHATNOT, SO I FIGURED A JOB
IN THE FRESH AIR WOULD DO YOU
241
00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:15,000
Tom: YOU DON'T WANT ME TO
APOLOGIZE?
242
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:16,000
NOW, I REMEMBER SEEING HIM FOR
THE FIRST TIME AND THINKING,
KNOCK-OFF ED WUNCLER AND HIS
ECONOMY-CRUSHING SON, EDDIE JR.
243
00:04:16,000 --> 00:04:17,000
Sarah: NO, I DON'T!
GENTLEMEN GOOD.
244
00:04:17,000 --> 00:04:18,000
Tom: OKAY, I'M SORRY I'M
APOLOGIZING.
ARE YOU EVEN TAKING THIS
SERIOUSLY?
245
00:04:18,000 --> 00:04:19,000
>> Granddad: LEAVE ME ALONE,
246
00:04:19,000 --> 00:04:20,000
RUCKUS.
247
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:21,000
Sarah: YOU DID IT AGAIN!
I'M WORKING AS FAST AS I CAN.
YEP. SMART KID.
248
00:04:21,000 --> 00:04:22,000
Tom: SARAH, CALM DOWN!
I OPENED A LIVING-HISTORY THEME
PARK.
IF YOU, LIKE EVERYONE ELSE,
THINK I AM COMPLETELY UNHIRABLE,
249
00:04:22,000 --> 00:04:23,000
I'M SORRY.
HATER ALERT!
250
00:04:23,000 --> 00:04:24,000
I'M SORRY!
HATER ALERT!
251
00:04:24,000 --> 00:04:25,000
I CAN'T STOP!
Granddad: I NOTICED SHE WAS
READING RALPH ELLISON'S
252
00:04:25,000 --> 00:04:26,000
OH, NO. UNH-UNH. UNH-UNH.
NIGGA JUST MAD HE DIDN'T GET
TOYS!
253
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:27,000
Sarah: OH, I SWEAR TO GOD,
TOM, IF YOU APOLOGIZE AGAIN, YOU
MR. FREEMAN, THESE ARE
STANDARD JOB-PLACEMENT
254
00:04:27,000 --> 00:04:28,000
RARE SKIN CONDITION CALLED
REVITILIGO.
255
00:04:28,000 --> 00:04:29,000
ARE OUT OF HERE!
Huey: YOU'RE FORCING BLACK
PEOPLE TO RE-ENACT THE MOST
256
00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:30,000
I'M SORRY ABOUT MY LANGUAGE.
RICHARD PRYOR -- NOTHING.
257
00:04:30,000 --> 00:04:31,000
PAINFUL PERIOD IN OUR HISTORY?
Tom: I'M --
MM.
258
00:04:31,000 --> 00:04:32,000
LIBERALS ARE, OF COURSE,
RIDICULING THIS MAN'S DISEASE,
BUT WITH COTTON CANDY AND A
MERRY-GO-ROUND!
259
00:04:32,000 --> 00:04:33,000
OKAY.
LET ME BE FRANK -- YOU ARE
UNHIRABLE.
260
00:04:33,000 --> 00:04:34,000
THEN JUST TELL ME WHAT TO DO.
261
00:04:34,000 --> 00:04:35,000
IT'S OKAY.
Sarah: THAT'S THE PROBLEM,
TOM!
AND COME ON, HUEY, NOT JUST
BLACK PEOPLE.
262
00:04:35,000 --> 00:04:36,000
CLOSING TIME.
WHAT HAPPENED BACK THERE?
263
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:37,000
I DON'T WANT TO TELL YOU WHAT
TO DO!
Granddad: WELL, SEE, I HAD TO
GO INTO THE BATHROOM TO TAKE A
264
00:04:37,000 --> 00:04:38,000
I WANT YOU TO DO WHAT I WANT YOU
TO DO BUT BECAUSE YOU WANT TO
Granddad: BECAUSE WE MAY BE
ON NATIONAL TELEVISION.
265
00:04:38,000 --> 00:04:39,000
TONIGHT.
DU-- UH, STAND AGAINST
SEGREGATION.
266
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:40,000
UNCLE RUCKUS RAN FOR PRESIDENT AND BASICALLY ALMOST WON.
267
00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:41,000
AIN'T NO NIGGA MAKE NO PLANS!
PAINFUL HISTORY IF THEY OWE ME
MONEY.
268
00:04:41,000 --> 00:04:42,000
BUT WHY NOT JUST TELL ME?!
AND THEY SAID, "NIGGA, DON'T YOU
DARE GO INTO THAT BATHROOM."
269
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:43,000
HIS STANDOUT MOMENT WAS DURING
I THINK I HAVE THE PERFECT JOB.
270
00:04:43,000 --> 00:04:44,000
Sarah: BECAUSE!
ISN'T IT WONDERFUL?
271
00:04:44,000 --> 00:04:45,000
NO WOMAN WAKES UP AND SAYS,
"GEE, I HOPE MY MAN DOES
NOW, I GOT SOME PLANS, TOO.
IT MAY BE TIME TO GIVE HER A
KEY.
272
00:04:45,000 --> 00:04:46,000
YOWZA! YOWZA!
273
00:04:46,000 --> 00:04:47,000
I PLAN TO KEEP YOUR BLACK ASS
COME ONE, COME ALL!
EVERYTHING I TELL HIM TO TODAY."
274
00:04:47,000 --> 00:04:48,000
HERE.
WELCOME TO FREEDOMLAND!
275
00:04:48,000 --> 00:04:49,000
YOU'RE THE MAN, TOM!
276
00:04:49,000 --> 00:04:50,000
SOMETIMES I WANT YOU TO
DOMINATE!
>> Granddad: SUMBITCH!
277
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:51,000
ONE MINUTE.
OH, MAMMY!
278
00:04:51,000 --> 00:04:52,000
Ruckus: I DON'T NEED A
MINUTE.
279
00:04:52,000 --> 00:04:53,000
TAKE CONTROL!
>> Riley: YOU HEARD THAT MAN,
"DANCING WITH THE STARS"?
280
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:54,000
I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.
IF I'M OUT OF LINE, PUT ME IN
CHECK!
281
00:04:54,000 --> 00:04:55,000
WE DON'T HAVE THE FINANCES TO BE
282
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:56,000
FEEDING THESE BITCHES.
Tom: SURE, HONEY.
283
00:04:56,000 --> 00:04:57,000
Granddad: HEY!
>> Granddad: EVERYTHING'S FINE.
284
00:04:57,000 --> 00:04:58,000
WHATEVER YOU SAY.
WHAT THE HELL?!
285
00:04:58,000 --> 00:04:59,000
Sarah: OHH! TOM!
Huey: EVENTUALLY, GRANDDAD'S
PRIDE GOT THE BEST OF HIM.
WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
286
00:04:59,000 --> 00:05:00,000
Tom: FINE!
WE'RE DRESSED LIKE SLAVES!
287
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:01,000
NOW, LEADING THIS PARTICULAR
BUS WAS THE
288
00:05:01,000 --> 00:05:02,000
I HEAR YOU!
Riley: THIS IS SOME BULLSHIT!
289
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,000
GRANDDAD'S TAKING BITCHES OUT TO
FROM NOW ON, I'LL TAKE CONTROL,
AND I WON'T APOLOGIZE ANYMORE.
290
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:04,000
MY FEET HURT!
291
00:05:04,000 --> 00:05:05,000
EAT AGAIN!
292
00:05:05,000 --> 00:05:06,000
EXCEPT, WAIT.
CIVIL RIGHTS SCENE.
293
00:05:06,000 --> 00:05:07,000
Tom: I THINK IT'S GREAT!
YOU WANTED ME TO STOP
APOLOGIZING, SO I'M SUPPOSED TO
294
00:05:07,000 --> 00:05:08,000
STURDY WAS A VERY PHYSICALLY
IMPOSING MAN, A GRAD STUDENT AT
295
00:05:08,000 --> 00:05:09,000
Ruckus: YOU SEE, FELLOW WHITE
AMERICANS, THIS IS WHY I AM
296
00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:10,000
DO THE OPPOSITE OF THAT.
I DIDN'T KNOW THE KARDASHIANS
HAD A BROTHER.
297
00:05:10,000 --> 00:05:11,000
FISK UNIVERSITY, CAPTAIN OF THE
FOOTBALL TEAM, TOTALLY FEARLESS.
298
00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:12,000
RIGHT?
YEAH, WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW I
HAD SOME FLOOZY HALF-SISTER WHO
299
00:05:12,000 --> 00:05:13,000
YEAH, SO THEN I GUESS I WILL
APOLOGIZE, THEN...
Granddad: KISS MY BLACK ASS.
300
00:05:13,000 --> 00:05:14,000
NOW, BEIN' BLACK IS BAD -- AIN'T
NO QUESTION ABOUT THAT -- AND
301
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:15,000
AW, DAMN IT.
Granddad: WHY ARE YOU HERE
ANYWAY?
302
00:05:15,000 --> 00:05:16,000
IF THAT'S ALL RIGHT WITH YOU.
Huey: I HAD TO CALL IN THE
303
00:05:16,000 --> 00:05:17,000
DEDICATED TO THE CAUSE OF
JUSTICE.
Tom: WELL, I HEARD THERE WERE
POSITIONS OPEN IN FREEDOMLAND,
304
00:05:17,000 --> 00:05:18,000
SORRY?
I MIGHT STILL HAVE TIME TO RUN
305
00:05:18,000 --> 00:05:19,000
Granddad: STURDY.
AND I'M SORT OF A HISTORY BUFF,
IF I MAY SAY SO MYSELF.
306
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:20,000
BOY, I HATED THAT NIGGA.
GET OUT.
307
00:05:20,000 --> 00:05:21,000
>> Riley: NO WAY, GRANDDAD.
NOW MY SHOW'S PUSHED BACK.
308
00:05:21,000 --> 00:05:22,000
Tom: NOW, HONEY, DON'T DO --
Sarah: GET OUT!
309
00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:23,000
PAY YOUR BILLS, DEADBEAT NIGGA.
SO I APPLIED!
Granddad: OW!
310
00:05:23,000 --> 00:05:24,000
Riley: WHO APPLIES TO BE A
SLAVE?
Granddad: RUCKUS, I DON'T
HAVE TIME FOR THIS.
311
00:05:24,000 --> 00:05:25,000
Tom: OW!
AWAY THE BULK OF HIS FREE DAY TO
THE MAN.
312
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:26,000
Riley: AW, MAN, HERE HE COME!
OH, MAN, MY FEET HURT SO BAD.
313
00:05:26,000 --> 00:05:27,000
Granddad: RILEY, HIT THE
LIGHTS!
Tom: HEY, HUEY.
314
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,000
Riley: MM-HMM.
Granddad: OH, HEADING BACK TO
CHICAGO.
315
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:29,000
Granddad: HUEY, ELECTRONICS!
316
00:05:29,000 --> 00:05:30,000
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH.
317
00:05:30,000 --> 00:05:31,000
HERE IN THE WHITE MAN'S HOUSE
THAT YOU CANNOT AFFORD?
318
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:32,000
I'M TIRED OF THAT HENPECKED
SIMP COMING OVER HERE EVERY TIME
DAMN THAT
MAKE-A-WISH FOUNDATION!
319
00:05:32,000 --> 00:05:33,000
WHO PEED IN YOUR PETUNIAS,
ROBERT?
320
00:05:33,000 --> 00:05:34,000
SHE THROWS HIM OUT, SCREAMING
LIKE A LITTLE BITCH.
Granddad: STUPID HUEY HAD
THIS GREAT IDEA THAT A JOB COULD
BLACK AMERICANS -- WHEN WE
OVERCAME OBSTACLES AND STRUGGLED
321
00:05:34,000 --> 00:05:35,000
Granddad: SORRY.
322
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:36,000
THIS TIME, HE CAN SLEEP IN THE
YARD.
THE ONLY REASON CHICKS BANG
ME IS TO GET TO MY SISTERS.
323
00:05:36,000 --> 00:05:37,000
FOOD STAMPS, NIGGA?
HELP WITH MONEY PROBLEMS.
TO BE THE FREE, FULLY REALIZED
HUMAN BEINGS WE ARE.
324
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:38,000
WHILE IT IS DIFFICULT TO
CLEARLY SEE THE SUSPECT'S FACE,
PRETTY BOY. PLAYER.
325
00:05:38,000 --> 00:05:39,000
Huey: HOW IS IT MY FAULT YOU
GOT FIRED?
MAN, I'M JUST LOOKING FOR THE
RIGHT HOMIE TO HELP ME GET MY
326
00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:40,000
AUTHORITIES HA--
GOD BLESS AMERICA!
327
00:05:40,000 --> 00:05:41,000
Granddad: IT'S YOUR FAULT I
TRIED.
328
00:05:41,000 --> 00:05:42,000
Huey: YEAH.
Tom: PLEASE.
YOU MUST HAVE GOTTEN ON THE
WRONG BUS.
329
00:05:42,000 --> 00:05:43,000
I DON'T NEED THIS TODAY!
330
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:44,000
Huey: IT'S TOILET PAPER AND
I AM GONNA BE THE LATEST
KARDASHIAN TO INSPIRE YOUNG
Tom: ROBERT, LOOK -- I KNOW
IT'S HARD, BUT WE CAN FIND YOU A
331
00:05:44,000 --> 00:05:45,000
SORRY FOR THE LATE DATE.
Ruckus: YOU'VE GOT THAT
332
00:05:45,000 --> 00:05:46,000
TO BIRMINGHAM.
I WAS ON MY WAY TO TAPE
JIMMY KIMMEL, AND I THOUGHT I
333
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:47,000
Granddad: BIRMINGHAM?!
RIGHT, TOM.
334
00:05:47,000 --> 00:05:48,000
JOB.
WOULD STOP BY AND SEE HOW Y'ALL
NIGGAS WAS DOIN'.
LIKE, MY NONPROFIT -- "BELIEVE
IN YOURSELF! YOU CAN BE
335
00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:49,000
UM, ANYWAY, YOU ALL SET FOR
WELCOME TO FREEDOMLAND, YOU LAZY
336
00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,000
I GOT IT.
337
00:05:50,000 --> 00:05:51,000
HEY, HOW THAT BLACK-PRESIDENT
THING WORK OUT FOR YOU?
338
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:52,000
WHERE YOU WANT TO GO, BABY?
ANOREXIC!" -- HAS ALREADY RAISED
LIKE 2,000 OF CELERY!
339
00:05:52,000 --> 00:05:53,000
FAULT.
340
00:05:53,000 --> 00:05:54,000
Granddad: RUCKUS, ENOUGH!
Granddad: VOLUNTEER?!
THIS HERE IS YOUR ORIENTATION.
341
00:05:54,000 --> 00:05:55,000
HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY HOUSE
PAYMENTS, ANYWAY?
Riley: WE BROKE AS HELL,
DOING HOMEWORK BY CANDLELIGHT,
342
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,000
Huey: RUCKUS, ARE YOU TRYING
TO TELL US THAT WE'RE SUPPOSED
343
00:05:56,000 --> 00:05:57,000
YOU COME BY TO RUB IT IN?
OTHER BUS?
344
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:58,000
THAT GOD HAD A PLAN FOR YOU ON
THIS BUS?
HEY. HERE'S AN IDEA.
345
00:05:58,000 --> 00:05:59,000
Ruckus: NO, SIR, I DID NOT.
346
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:00,000
REALLY?
I CAME BY TO TELL YOU I QUIT!
MAN, THAT'S LIKE HUSTLING
BACKWARDS!
347
00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:01,000
Ruckus: THAT IS CORRECT.
DINNER AND JUST DO SOMETHING...
348
00:06:01,000 --> 00:06:02,000
ME.
NOW THAT I'M AN OFFICIAL
WOODCREST MAYORAL CANDIDATE, I
349
00:06:02,000 --> 00:06:03,000
Riley: SO?
A POP-TART.
VOLUNTEERING CAN BE THE PERFECT
CONDUIT TO FULL-TIME EMPLOYMENT.
350
00:06:03,000 --> 00:06:04,000
I COULD JUST MAKE ANOTHER ONE.
YOU KNOW, LIKE WATCH A MOVIE ON
351
00:06:04,000 --> 00:06:05,000
WILL NO LONGER WORK FOR Y'ALL
NIGGAS, MEXICANS, OR SWARTHY
BUCK DANCE IF YOU HEAR ANYTHING
RESEMBLING A TUNE, AND DENOUNCE
352
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:06,000
BASIC CABLE, POP SOME POPCORN,
353
00:06:06,000 --> 00:06:07,000
HEY, DON'T TELL MY GRANDDAD
ABOUT THIS.
Granddad: WAIT, YOU GUYS
AREN'T -- OH, MAN, NOT YOU GUYS!
354
00:06:07,000 --> 00:06:08,000
PERSIANS.
STAY TOGETHER FOR AT LEAST THE
FIRST SEASON.
355
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,000
WE NOT SUPPOSED TO FEED YOU.
ANY FEELINGS THAT RESEMBLE
SELF-ESTEEM AND/OR SELF-WORTH.
356
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:10,000
MR. RUCKUS, ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?
I'M VOLUNTEERING AT THE
OLD-FOLKS' HOME TONIGHT.
357
00:06:10,000 --> 00:06:11,000
Ruckus: GET OFF ME, ROBERT!
358
00:06:11,000 --> 00:06:12,000
A LITTLE SHORT ON CASH.
PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO WATCH AN
OLD BROKE DUDE ON TV!
359
00:06:12,000 --> 00:06:13,000
GET YOUR NIGGA HANDS OFF ME!
YES, Y'ALL IS WE.
360
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:14,000
Riley: YEAH, WE AIN'T GOING
FOR THIS SHIT.
AIN'T GONNA LET
NOBODY TURN ME AROUND
OH, WHAT A SURPRISE -- THE
NIGGA IS RESORTING TO VIOLENCE.
361
00:06:14,000 --> 00:06:15,000
YOU KNOW ONE'S ABOUT TO DIE, BE
REAL NICE TO THAT ONE.
362
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:16,000
HELLO?
363
00:06:16,000 --> 00:06:17,000
I MEAN, IF YOU LIKE GETTING
PLAYED.
364
00:06:17,000 --> 00:06:18,000
CHA-CHING!
365
00:06:18,000 --> 00:06:19,000
>> Riley: WHEW.
Riley: I AIN'T SAYING SHIT.
366
00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:20,000
THAT WAS A CLOSE ONE.
367
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:21,000
WHAT'S FOR DINNER?
368
00:06:21,000 --> 00:06:22,000
>> Granddad: IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.
THEY'RE SO GRATEFUL FOR THE
VOLUNTEERS.
369
00:06:22,000 --> 00:06:23,000
Tom: I REALLY DON'T THINK
IT'S PRUDENT TO RECORD AN
Huey: LOOK AT OUR LIVING
370
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:24,000
Granddad: IT'LL BE OKAY.
371
00:06:24,000 --> 00:06:25,000
I'M NOT RECORDING.
YOU CAN CALL ME TOBY, OBAMA,
CLEVELAND...
PLUS, THERE'S LOTS OF LONELY
CUTIES THERE.
372
00:06:25,000 --> 00:06:26,000
THIS IS A LIVE STREAM.
WHY IS EVERYONE ACTING BLIND?
373
00:06:26,000 --> 00:06:27,000
I'M NOT VERY FIT.
374
00:06:27,000 --> 00:06:28,000
WHAT'S UP?
FOR ME
375
00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:29,000
Y'ALL KNOW WHO IT IS --
PRETTY BEEZY FLEE-YEEZEY-WEEZY,
THAT IS RIGHT.
376
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:30,000
I MEAN, LAST WEEK WAS THE FIRST
PAYMENT I MISSED, SO I FIGURE
377
00:06:30,000 --> 00:06:31,000
YOU KNOW?
Granddad: WELL, GOOD LUCK
WITH THAT AND ALL YOUR BUS
378
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,000
I APPRECIATE ALL THE LOVE AND
SUPPORT Y'ALL BEEN SENDING ME
A BANJO ON MY
379
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,000
SHOW!
THAT I HAVE ABOUT, UH...
380
00:06:33,000 --> 00:06:34,000
SINCE THE WHOLE INCIDENT WENT
DOWN.
I'M GOING BACK NORTH.
LIMBER AND DON'T HAVE A MASSIVE
HEART ATTACK WHICH WILL MAKE OUR
381
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:35,000
NEVER FEAR.
JEALOUS OF WHAT?
BUT I HAD MONEY, AND AS LONG AS
382
00:06:35,000 --> 00:06:36,000
GOT BIG LAWYERS ON THE CASE.
383
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:37,000
SAY WHAT'S UP TO TOM DuBOIS.
I HAD MONEY, I COULD HAVE A
RICH PATRONS FEEL BAD FOR NOT
VOTING FOR UNIVERSAL
384
00:06:37,000 --> 00:06:38,000
MODERATELY SATISFYING SEX LIFE.
385
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,000
Tom: FLIZZY, I'M GONNA HAVE
TO ASK YOU TO TURN IT OFF, NOW.
386
00:06:39,000 --> 00:06:40,000
Granddad: THEN WE GOT TO TURN
THIS BUS AROUND.
387
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:41,000
>> Riley: UGH.
Granddad: RUCKUS, YOU MUST BE
OUT OF YOUR DAMN MIND!
388
00:06:41,000 --> 00:06:42,000
AIN'T GONNA LET
NOBODY TURN ME AROUND
389
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:43,000
KILL THE CAMERA, B.
AAH!
390
00:06:43,000 --> 00:06:44,000
Tom: I ALSO THINK THESE
PEOPLE SHOULD LEAVE.
MNH-MNH! DON'T CLAP.
391
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:45,000
I'M A BUSINESSWOMAN AND, LIKE,
THIS WHOLE THING, I CAN'T EVEN
392
00:06:45,000 --> 00:06:46,000
"THESE PEOPLE?"
YOU MEAN "THESE PEOPLE?"
393
00:06:46,000 --> 00:06:47,000
Granddad: EXCUSE ME FOR A
SECOND.
394
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:48,000
Tom: I MEAN THESE PEOPLE.
GOOGLE MYSELF, BECAUSE, LIKE,
TOO MANY HITS COME UP, OKAY?
395
00:06:48,000 --> 00:06:49,000
CAN'T AN OLD BITCH GET SOME FREE
LEGAL ADVICE, SOME ESTATE
396
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:50,000
NO.
YOU MEAN MY PEOPLE, NIGGA!
397
00:06:50,000 --> 00:06:51,000
Granddad: WHAT ARE YOU DOING
THIS FOR?
398
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:52,000
THESE MY PEOPLE.
YOU KNOW WHAT I AM?
PLANNING, AN ADVANCE DIRECTIVE?
399
00:06:52,000 --> 00:06:53,000
ANYTHING YOU CAN SAY TO ME YOU
CAN SAY IN FRONT OF THEM.
I'M A DANCER. THAT'S RIGHT --
A PROFESSIONAL DANCER.
400
00:06:53,000 --> 00:06:54,000
Granddad:
401
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:55,000
NO, SIR.
IF ANYTHING, NIGGA, YOU THE
STRANGER HERE.
402
00:06:55,000 --> 00:06:56,000
DAD TURNED OVER THE PROPERTY
MANAGEMENT TO ME.
All:
BUT YOU TWO LITTLE NIGGAS, OH,
YOU HAVE AGGRESSIVE NAMES AND AS
403
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:57,000
YOU SHOULD LEAVE THE ROOM.
404
00:06:57,000 --> 00:06:58,000
Tom: IT'S MY OFFICE.
YOU'RE ONLY HALF-KARDASHIAN.
405
00:06:58,000 --> 00:06:59,000
Granddad: ROBERT.
OKAY, THEN, SO WHAT'S THE BIG
SECRET THAT YOU CAN'T
406
00:06:59,000 --> 00:07:00,000
YOU'RE ED THE THIRD'S DAD?
LOOK, ROBERT.
SUCH, THEY WILL BE CHANGED!
407
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,000
TELL ME IN FRONT OF MY FANS AND
MY PEOPLE?
408
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:02,000
MM. ROBERT, HUH?
I CAN'T EVEN BELIEVE IT.
409
00:07:02,000 --> 00:07:03,000
WHY IS THIS MY FIRST TIME SEEING
YOU?
HUEY, YOU ARE NOW "NIGGA ONE" OR
"ONE" FOR SHORT.
410
00:07:03,000 --> 00:07:04,000
MATTER OF FACT, WHY AM I EVEN
HERE?
411
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,000
WHAT FLOOR YOU LIVE ON?
Tom: YOU WANTED TO TALK TO ME
ABOUT YOUR CRIMINAL CASE.
412
00:07:05,000 --> 00:07:06,000
CAN I COME IN?
413
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,000
A BRILLIANT STRATEGY.
Granddad: OH, I DON'T LIVE
HERE.
414
00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:08,000
Granddad: THANK GOD.
RILEY, YOUR NAME IS "NIGGA TWO"
OR "TWO" FOR SHORT.
415
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:09,000
OH, THAT'S RIGHT!
YOU SHOULD HAVE SAID THAT
BEFORE.
416
00:07:09,000 --> 00:07:10,000
Tom: I REVIEWED THE CASE, AND
I'VE WATCHED THE SECURITY
LOOK HOW BIG IT GOT! IT'S FAKE!
417
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,000
WELL, I DIDN'T MEAN -- SEEMS
LIKE A LOVELY PLACE.
418
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:12,000
LAY IT ON ME.
419
00:07:12,000 --> 00:07:13,000
COOL. SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
THE MOST BRILLIANT STRATEGY
EVER CONCEIVED -- NONVIOLENT
420
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:14,000
Tom: ALL RIGHT, JOKE TIME.
421
00:07:14,000 --> 00:07:15,000
CAN YOU GET ME OFF?
IS THIS THING ON? NO?
422
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:16,000
DIRECT ACTION.
Tom: DID YOU ROB THE LIQUOR
STORE, FLIZZY?
EVEN THOUGH HE IS WHITE, HE HAS
WIDE NOSTRILS.
423
00:07:16,000 --> 00:07:17,000
THE COUCH IS...UH, BEAUTIFUL,
WITH THE...THE CARPET.
424
00:07:17,000 --> 00:07:18,000
YOU CONFRONT THE OPPRESSOR
AND HIS UNJUST SYSTEM.
I CAN'T SAY THAT...I DID IT,
BUT, HONESTLY, REALLY CAN'T SAY
425
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:19,000
ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S INVISIBLE AND
SMELLS LIKE STRAWBERRIES?
426
00:07:19,000 --> 00:07:20,000
OH, I-I'M SORRY.
427
00:07:20,000 --> 00:07:21,000
THIS IS MY ASSISTANT,
VANDERBILT.
428
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:22,000
PIECE OF MY MIND.
429
00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:23,000
Tom: RUCKUS, THIS IS
INHUMANE!
Tom: AND WHY CAN'T YOU SAY
"F'SHO"?
MY FARTS AFTER I DRINK
ENSURE.
430
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:24,000
WE'RE GONNA BE
Ruckus: WHO THE HELL SAID
THAT NIGGAS WAS HUMAN IN THE
431
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:25,000
Granddad: I'M SORRY, BABY.
432
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:26,000
UP!
RICH.
Granddad: SO, WE MAKE THEM
WANT TO ATTACK US?
433
00:07:26,000 --> 00:07:27,000
>> Tom: YEAH, MY HAIR'S SO SILKY
Tom: AND HOW ABOUT THESE --
HOW ABOUT YOUR ENTOURAGE?
ONE, GET NIGGER SOME CARROTS!
434
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:28,000
SMOOTH.
435
00:07:28,000 --> 00:07:29,000
Granddad: AND THEN WE LET
THEM?
MM-HMM? HMM.
436
00:07:29,000 --> 00:07:30,000
DO THEY KNOW ANYTHING?
THAT IS NO-- GAH.
437
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:31,000
UP, TOO!
UH-OH.
NO, THAT'S --
THAT'S NOT THE PUNCH--
438
00:07:31,000 --> 00:07:32,000
NO.
HEY, MAN, WHEN WE GO OUT, WE GO
HARD.
I DON'T WANT TO WASTE YOUR TIME.
439
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:33,000
Granddad: WHAT ABOUT
SELF-DEFENSE?
GIRLS.
440
00:07:33,000 --> 00:07:34,000
IT SMELLS LIKE STRAWBERRIES IN
HERE NOW.
Huey: SORRY.
YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND HOW
COMPLICATED IT IS BEING ME.
441
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:35,000
THE ONLY SELF-DEFENSE ALLOWED IS
SINGING AND A SPECIAL KIND OF
WE'RE NOT EXACTLY WHERE I NEED
TO BE WITH THE HOUSE.
442
00:07:35,000 --> 00:07:36,000
IT'S PRETTY HOT.
YOU'RE TAKING THEIR SIDE!
443
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:37,000
ALL THE TIME I
DIDN'T EVEN KNOW I SAID.
IT'LL BE MORE FUN THAN THIS.
444
00:07:37,000 --> 00:07:38,000
BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WORLD.
Huey: GRANDDAD, I'M NOBODY'S
PROPERTY, AND NEITHER ARE YOU.
445
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:39,000
Tom: HOW?
446
00:07:39,000 --> 00:07:40,000
'CAUSE I GOT LIKE 18 PEOPLE
TWEETING FOR ME AT ONE TIME.
447
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:41,000
Granddad: YEAH, ABOUT THAT...
TIMES -- "HARD CHIN, SOFT HAND."
448
00:07:41,000 --> 00:07:42,000
LOOK, I'M JUST HERE TO GET
YOU THE OUT.
449
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,000
UP!
TO MR. EDDIE?
450
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:45,000
Granddad: DO YOU EVEN HEAR
YOURSELVES?
SO, LIKE, I LOOK AT THE TAPE AND
I SAY, "IS IT ME, OR IS IT
451
00:07:45,000 --> 00:07:46,000
YOU'RE SITTING ON A GOLD MINE.
YOU'D LOOK LIKE IMPRESSIONIST
ART.
452
00:07:46,000 --> 00:07:47,000
SUB-SAHARAN FOOD BANK LAND.
SOMEONE I JUST PAID TO ROB A
LIQUOR STORE WHO LOOKS JUST LIKE
453
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,000
>> Granddad: OH, THANK YOU,
OH, SO YOU DID LIKE THE MONET
454
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:49,000
>> Granddad: OH, THANK YOU,
Granddad: BEAT US?
Tom: YES, RUCKUS?
455
00:07:49,000 --> 00:07:50,000
ME?"
I DON'T KNOW.
I THINK, AS A PEOPLE, WE'VE
TAKEN ENOUGH BEATINGS.
456
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:51,000
SOMEDAY.
I TOLD YOU!
457
00:07:51,000 --> 00:07:52,000
>> Tom: SO, WHAT'S THE PLAN?
Tom: OKAY, I WANT YOU TO KNOW
UP FRONT THAT I HAVE SERIOUS
458
00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:53,000
>> Riley: YEAH, HOW DO WE GET
BEAT US, STAB US, SIC DOGS ON
US, LIGHT US ON FIRE.
459
00:07:53,000 --> 00:07:54,000
MM. MM! OOH!
Tom:
ISSUES WITH SOME OF YOUR
BEHAVIOR IN THE PAST, ESPECIALLY
460
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:55,000
ROBERT, IT'S ME.
461
00:07:55,000 --> 00:07:56,000
IT'S YOUR NEPHEW, EDDIE.
Granddad: UGH!
Granddad: YOU TOO!
462
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,000
HITTING A WOMAN.
THERE'S A LOT THAT HAS TO BE
NOT THAT WE'RE EXPECTING
THAT.
463
00:07:57,000 --> 00:07:58,000
I KNEW YOU WAS GONNA SAY THAT.
464
00:07:58,000 --> 00:07:59,000
BUT WE ARE PREPARED FOR THAT
TO HAPPEN.
CAN I TELL YOU MY SIDE OF IT,
THOUGH?
465
00:07:59,000 --> 00:08:00,000
POCKET CHANGE.
466
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:01,000
ROBERT, COME. HAVE A SEAT.
Tom: NO, I DON'T --
CAN I TELL YOU MY SIDE OF IT,
467
00:08:01,000 --> 00:08:02,000
DON'T NEED THAT.
468
00:08:02,000 --> 00:08:03,000
THOUGH?
YOU HAVE?
469
00:08:03,000 --> 00:08:04,000
>> Granddad: I'M NOT SURE.
Tom: NO, FLIZZY, THERE'S --
CAN I TELL YOU MY SIDE OF IT
470
00:08:04,000 --> 00:08:05,000
YOU REMEMBER THOSE
NUNS WAS TRYIN' TO HIDE
ACTION, WHEN YOU ACTUALLY THINK
ABOUT IT, IS COMPLETELY INSANE.
471
00:08:05,000 --> 00:08:06,000
SO, ROBERT, WHAT BROUGHT YOU
HERE TODAY?
Tom: FINE! WHAT?!
472
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:07,000
>> Huey: HEY, GRANDDAD.
473
00:08:07,000 --> 00:08:08,000
THE THORNY CROWN IN THE WALL?
474
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:09,000
HAVE YOU SEEN THAT CONTAINER OF
YOU HAVE TO TRUST US, ROBERT.
UP!
475
00:08:09,000 --> 00:08:10,000
>> Granddad: HEY, HUEY.
Riley: HEY, MAN, WHY YOU
STEALIN' OUR STUFF?!
ON YOUR MARKS, GET SET...
476
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:11,000
Riley: I DON'T CARE.
HOW MUCH MORE OF THAT WAVE CREAM
477
00:08:11,000 --> 00:08:12,000
THERE'S NOTHING TO BE AFRAID OF.
SOON AS I GOT ARRESTED, I SAID,
"I WANT THE DUDE THAT GOT
478
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,000
H>> Huey: GRANDDAD, YOU DIDN'T.M
WAY.
479
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:14,000
>> Granddad: THIS WAVE CREAM YOU
WAY YOU GONNA
GET ME OUT THERE.
Huey: BUT WE WERE ALL UNDER EDDIE'S THUMB.
480
00:08:14,000 --> 00:08:15,000
R. KELLY OFF."
YOU KEEP BEING ASS COLUMBO.
481
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:16,000
JOB?!
Tom: WELL, I PROSECUTED
R. KELLY, AND I --
482
00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:17,000
OH, YOU DON'T WANT TO WORK HERE,
HONEY.
FACED WITH THE THREAT OF LOSING EVERYTHING, PEOPLE WILL DO
483
00:08:17,000 --> 00:08:18,000
NEVER MIND.
CREAM.
484
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:19,000
I MEAN IT.
Tom: MY ANSWER IS ALMOST
CERTAINLY NO, BUT...I'LL THINK
485
00:08:19,000 --> 00:08:20,000
IT'S YOUR HOUSE.
MINDS!
486
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,000
IT'S YOUR LIVING ROOM.
YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENED.
487
00:08:21,000 --> 00:08:22,000
ABOUT IT.
>> Granddad: IT GROWS HAIR --
WE'RE GONNA END JIM CROW,
ROBERT.
488
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:23,000
IF I DO TAKE THE CASE, MY
RETAINER IS --
489
00:08:23,000 --> 00:08:24,000
DEAD GRANDMOTHER'S ASHES!
FREEDOMLAND!
490
00:08:24,000 --> 00:08:25,000
MY RETAINER IS...
Riley: NOT MY PROBLEM.
491
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:26,000
OKAY, SO, LOOK.
SOUTH!
492
00:08:26,000 --> 00:08:27,000
HERE.
ENTERTAIN THAT.
493
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:28,000
HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE COMPOUND FOR A
494
00:08:28,000 --> 00:08:29,000
THE NEW RATE ON YOUR SUB-PRIME,
NON-PRIME, UNDER-PRIME MORTGAGE
Ruckus: HEY, RICH, MOSTLY
WHITE CHILLIN, MAKE SOME NOISE
495
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:30,000
Tom: PLEASE STOP THROWING
MONEY AT ME.
496
00:08:30,000 --> 00:08:31,000
>> Both: A BOMB?!
497
00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,000
IF YOUR NANNY SPEAKS SPANISH!
IS $52,000.47.
OF POOP, PISS, POOPY PISS, AND
GOUT.
498
00:08:32,000 --> 00:08:33,000
THINGS A BITCH WILL NEVER
SAY.
499
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:34,000
WASN'T A BOMB.
500
00:08:34,000 --> 00:08:35,000
YOU SPECIFICALLY SAID IT WAS NOT
HEY, THAT'S A SONG!
BIRMINGHAM WAS THE MOST RACIST
CITY IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY, RUN
501
00:08:35,000 --> 00:08:36,000
A BOMB!
502
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,000
>> Granddad: BOY, COME HERE!
I HOPE EVERYBODY ENJOYED THE
A'IGHT, PIMPIN', I'M-A SEE
YOU TOMORROW.
503
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:39,000
I CAN'T COME UP WITH THAT KIND
OF MONEY IN A MONTH!
"BASKETBALL WIVES" SET WITH A
SIGN THAT SAYS "I YOUR
504
00:08:39,000 --> 00:08:40,000
YOU WANT TO MAKE A BOMB?
505
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:41,000
THE WORST PART -- HA! -- NO
MONEY.
"WELFARE QUEEN FOR A DAY"
EXHIBIT.
WELL, NOT IF YOU KEEP PUTTIN'
ALL THAT NEGATIVE ENERGY INTO
506
00:08:41,000 --> 00:08:42,000
WITH THIS BELT.
HEY, PRETTY GIRL!
507
00:08:42,000 --> 00:08:43,000
I HATE 'EM!
>> Huey: YOU GOT TO WASH THAT
508
00:08:43,000 --> 00:08:44,000
YOU GOT TO THINK POSITIVE.
509
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:45,000
Tom: THAT SINGER
PRETTY BOY FLIZZY CAME IN TODAY.
510
00:08:45,000 --> 00:08:46,000
USE THEM AS YOUR SERVANTS.
SAY, "I WILL GET EDDIE'S MONEY
IN A MONTH."
ORGANIZE THIS VIOLENCE AGAINST
THE RIDERS, WAS AN EQUALLY
511
00:08:46,000 --> 00:08:47,000
UNDERGROUND FINANCIAL
ENTERPRISE.
512
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:48,000
Sarah: PRETTY BOY FLIZZY?
SEE THE CONCIERGE ON YOUR WAY
513
00:08:48,000 --> 00:08:49,000
ARE YOU SERIOUS?
YOU'LL FEEL BETTER.
IT IS SUCH THAT THIS
514
00:08:49,000 --> 00:08:50,000
HE'S HIRING YOU TO DEFEND HIM
FOR THE LIQUOR-STORE THING?
SO, MR. MAN, YOU STILL
INTERESTED IN A JOB?
515
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:51,000
OUT.
Granddad: I WILL GET EDDIE'S
MONEY IN A MONTH.
516
00:08:51,000 --> 00:08:52,000
>> Granddad: DAMN IT, BOY, WHY
517
00:08:52,000 --> 00:08:53,000
TOM, THAT'S HUGE!
Granddad: WAIT! NO!
FOR MY HELP DEALING WITH THEM
FREEDOM-RIDIN' NIGGAS WAS THE
518
00:08:53,000 --> 00:08:54,000
Tom: DON'T GET TOO EXCITED.
519
00:08:54,000 --> 00:08:55,000
IT'S ALL GONNA BE OKAY.
520
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:56,000
I'M NOT TAKING THE CASE.
TODAY, WE ARE DEBUTING A SPECIAL
INTERACTIVE GAME!
521
00:08:56,000 --> 00:08:57,000
Sarah: WHY NOT?
AND GET OUR FREEDOM BACK.
HAPPIEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
522
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:58,000
Tom: I DON'T WANT TO DEFEND A
WOMAN-BEATER, FOR ONE.
I WANT TO WORK IN A CLEAN PLACE.
523
00:08:58,000 --> 00:08:59,000
YOU KNOW, FOR A SMART NIGGA, YOU
524
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:00,000
Sarah: HE MADE A LITTLE TINY
MISTAKE.
DOES EVERYBODY ENJOY
525
00:09:00,000 --> 00:09:01,000
COME UP WITH SOME DUMBASS PLANS.
526
00:09:01,000 --> 00:09:02,000
Tom: I GUESS HITTING A WOMAN
IS OKAY IF YOU HAVE ABS,
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT WHORES,
ROBERT?
527
00:09:02,000 --> 00:09:03,000
Listen to me.
ALL THIS TIME, I DIDN'T KNOW
THAT.
528
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,000
Fake your deaths.
529
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,000
Granddad: LOVE 'EM.
Sarah: HE'S A TALENTED
ARTIST.
530
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:06,000
Fake...your...deaths.
GOOD. LET ME BACK UP A BIT.
BUT IT'S JUST SO MUCH FUN.
531
00:09:06,000 --> 00:09:07,000
Tom: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, OKAY.
KNOW WHY WE'RE BROKE, ROBERT?
532
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:08,000
SLOW DOWN.
EH, NOT REALLY.
533
00:09:08,000 --> 00:09:09,000
"FLUID SWAP"?
BECAUSE OUR GENERATION RAISED
NO-GOOD, SELFISH-ASS SONS.
534
00:09:09,000 --> 00:09:10,000
"RUB AGAINST MY ERECTION"?
535
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,000
WRITE IT DOWN BEFORE WE FORGET.
536
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:12,000
"YOU MAKE ME WANNA UNH"?
I ASKED MY SON TO VISIT ME.
537
00:09:12,000 --> 00:09:13,000
ONE SPARK, AND HEADS COULD
538
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,000
I LOVE
"YOU MAKE ME WANNA UNH!"
BULL CONNOR MADE AN
ARRANGEMENT WITH THE
539
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:15,000
ACTUALLY EXPLODE.
OKAY, HOW ABOUT A GAME-SHOW
540
00:09:15,000 --> 00:09:16,000
KU KLUX KLAN.
OH, DO YOU THINK YOU COULD GET
HIM TO SING AT JAZMINE'S
541
00:09:16,000 --> 00:09:17,000
THEIR MOBS WOULD BE ALLOWED 15
MINUTES TO DO ANYTHING TO THE
542
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:18,000
EXPLOSIONOF BEAUTIFUL HAIR." ■
543
00:09:18,000 --> 00:09:19,000
BIRTHDAY?
I'M TELLING YOU, EVERY SINGLE
ONE OF OUR BOYS AGE 30 TO 50 --
544
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,000
Tom: NO! DO YOU LET HER
LISTEN TO THAT?
545
00:09:20,000 --> 00:09:21,000
Sarah: OUR PROBLEMS HAVE BEEN
ROUGH ON HER.
RIDERS WITHOUT FEAR OF ARREST.
546
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:22,000
>> Huey: GRANDDAD, YOU'RE GONNA
547
00:09:22,000 --> 00:09:23,000
KILL PEOPLE.
Ruckus: OH, SURE.
IT WOULD BE NICE TO, YOU KNOW...
CANNONS.
548
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:24,000
>> Granddad: WE'LL PUT A WARNING
IF THE CONTESTANT GUESSES WRONG,
THEY HAVE TO SLEEP WITH
549
00:09:24,000 --> 00:09:25,000
WHAT?
550
00:09:25,000 --> 00:09:26,000
THAT'S WHERE YOU COME IN.
FREEMAN.
AW, YEAH!
551
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:27,000
Tom: DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW
WHAT'S GOING ON HERE?
AN OLD-SCHOOL MAN LIKE YOU
YOUNG LADIES WOULD
552
00:09:27,000 --> 00:09:28,000
Both: HUH?
MORAL DILEMMA SOLVED.
553
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:29,000
Sarah: WHAT?
RESTAURANTS, AND BEFORE YOU
KNOW, SOME NIGGA WILL WANT TO
554
00:09:29,000 --> 00:09:30,000
Tom: THIS ISN'T ABOUT
JAZMINE.
REALLY APPRECIATE.
555
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:31,000
WE'RE PITCHING SHOWS.
Granddad: MR. WUNCLER.
556
00:09:31,000 --> 00:09:32,000
YOU WANT TO MEET
PRETTY BOY FLIZZY.
Granddad: THAT'S ENOUGH!
INTEGRATE THE SWEET PINK NETHER
REGIONS OF YOUR WHITE WIFE OR
557
00:09:32,000 --> 00:09:33,000
UH...
"TERRORIST OR ITALIAN?"
BECAUSE THOSE HAIRY
558
00:09:33,000 --> 00:09:35,000
WELL, GIVE ME A RED LIGHT AND
SIGN ME UP.
NO, JAZMINE
WANTS TO MEET PRETTY BOY FLIZZY.
559
00:09:35,000 --> 00:09:36,000
I WAS JUST...WONDERING IF YOU,
UM, HAD THAT MONEY.
MAKE SURE TO READ THE PART
WHERE WE GET TO CAP YOUR ASS IF
560
00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:37,000
OUR SLAVE SHIFT IS OVER!
Tom: NO, YOU WANT ME TO
DEFEND PRETTY BOY FLIZZY BECAUSE
561
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:38,000
>> Granddad: GET OFF ME!
562
00:09:38,000 --> 00:09:39,000
LOVE YOUR STYLE, GRANDDAD.
WELL,
UM...MON-- MONEY...W-W-WE, UH...
563
00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:40,000
YOU WANT TO MEET HIM AND DO HIM!
564
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:41,000
CALL YOU SOON.
565
00:09:41,000 --> 00:09:42,000
DO ANY OF Y'ALL KNOW WHAT A BBC
IS?
AND NARROW BEHINDS!
566
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:43,000
Sarah: WHAT?!
Granddad: WHY ARE YOU INSIDE?
567
00:09:43,000 --> 00:09:44,000
Huey: BECAUSE I HAVE
SOMETHING IMPORTANT TO SAY.
Tom: YEAH! YEAH! YOU DO!
568
00:09:44,000 --> 00:09:45,000
All: NO!
569
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,000
Ruckus: OOH, YOU DON'T WANT
TO KNOW.
570
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:47,000
YOU WANT TO GO UNH ON HIM!
REAL TALK, ROBERT -- I SHOULD
HOPE, AT YOUR AGE, YOU KNOW THAT
571
00:09:47,000 --> 00:09:48,000
IT DOES MUCH DAMAGE.
Granddad: WELL...YOU SEE --
EDDIE?!
572
00:09:48,000 --> 00:09:49,000
SHUT UP AND GET BACK OUTSIDE.
573
00:09:49,000 --> 00:09:50,000
YOU WANT TO UNH ON HIM ALL
NIGHT!
YOU HAVE 15 MINUTES, 900
SECONDS, TO DO WHATEVER YOUR
574
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:51,000
WOMEN ARE DIFFERENT WHEN IT
COMES TO OUR NEEDS.
LET'S GO HOME.
575
00:09:51,000 --> 00:09:52,000
Sarah: I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW
INSECURE YOU ARE!
576
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:53,000
Granddad: YES, WELL, I'M
WORKIN' ON IT, BUT I DON'T HAVE
577
00:09:53,000 --> 00:09:54,000
>> Huey: I AGREED TO HELP
HEART DESIRES TO THESE SHIFTLESS
BLACK BASTARDS BEFORE THE LAW
578
00:09:54,000 --> 00:09:55,000
LISTEN TO YOURSELF.
YOU DON'T HAVE MY MONEY.
I'VE BEEN AROUND THE BLOCK.
579
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:56,000
Tom: HE'S LIKE YOUR PERFECT
MAN!
Granddad: MM, NO, NOT REALLY.
580
00:09:56,000 --> 00:09:57,000
AGREED TO WASH HIS HAIR.
581
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:58,000
HOW MUCH YOU HAVE?
Granddad: HUSH UP!
582
00:09:58,000 --> 00:09:59,000
THIS IS BOSS WILLONA, PROPRIETOR
HE WON'T EVEN SAY SORRY WHEN HE
POUNDS YOUR FACE IN!
583
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:00,000
Granddad and Tom: HUH?
SO, I AM BEGGING YOU, WHITE MEN.
BRING THE SUITCASE WITH THE
MONEY!
584
00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:01,000
Ruckus: WHERE YOU NIGGAS
THINK Y'ALL GOING?
585
00:10:01,000 --> 00:10:02,000
OF A BLACK BEAUTY SALON WE FOUND
Granddad: WE GOIN' HOME,
RUCKUS.
586
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:03,000
Granddad: WAIT.
YOU'RE AN ESCORT.
587
00:10:03,000 --> 00:10:04,000
THE PARK IS CLOSED.
WAIT.
Granddad: OKAY, ESCORT.
588
00:10:04,000 --> 00:10:05,000
THERE WAS ABOUT BLACK BEAUTY
589
00:10:05,000 --> 00:10:06,000
HE'S NOT COMING THIS WAY.
THEIR BRAIN GETS SUCKED OUT.
590
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:07,000
PRODUCTS, ALTHOUGH I STARTED TO
591
00:10:07,000 --> 00:10:08,000
HE'S GETTING IN HIS CAR.
THERE WAS THIS ONE RAPPER WHO
WENT FROM SAYING "GEORGE BUSH
592
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,000
WITH ME,
RIGHT?
THEM!
593
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:10,000
SERIOUSLY, WHERE'S MY MONEY?!
BELIEVE ME -- THEY CAN'T DO
MUCH, BUT A NIGGA CAN TAKE AN
594
00:10:10,000 --> 00:10:11,000
DOESN'T CARE ABOUT BLACK
PEOPLE!" TO WEARING A LEATHER
595
00:10:11,000 --> 00:10:12,000
YOU DON'T HAVE MY MONEY?
LIVE HERE NOW.
596
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:13,000
NORMALLY, I TRY TO TALK PEOPLE
Tom: YOU'RE A SELFISH
BASTARD, ROBERT FREEMAN!
597
00:10:13,000 --> 00:10:14,000
ASS-WHUPPING, I PROMISE!
598
00:10:14,000 --> 00:10:15,000
LEATHER!
GOD...DAMN!
599
00:10:15,000 --> 00:10:16,000
Huey: GRANDDAD WAS DEFINITELY
HAPPIER SINCE HE CAME BACK FROM
I SAW KARDASHIA AT A PLACE
CALLED FAKE CAKES.
600
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:17,000
A'IGHT. EDDIE. THINK.
601
00:10:17,000 --> 00:10:18,000
GOT SOMETHING SPECIAL, VERY
602
00:10:18,000 --> 00:10:19,000
THE OLD-FOLKS' HOME.
IT'S NEAR THAT ILLEGAL PINOCHLE
SPOT WHERE YOU USED TO LEAVE ME
603
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:20,000
WAIT! I GOT IT!
I GUESS THERE IS SOMETHING TO
VOLUNTEERING.
604
00:10:20,000 --> 00:10:21,000
Granddad: WHAT?
605
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,000
THE HOUSE.
Granddad: HUEY, DRENCH MY
BACK.
606
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,000
Ruckus: YES.
THIS IS ART.
Tom: I JUST DON'T THINK IT'S
GONNA WORK OUT, FLIZZY.
607
00:10:23,000 --> 00:10:24,000
Riley: AW, NO!
WELCOME HOME, NIGGAS.
608
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:25,000
GETTING.
YOU NIGGAS ARE SOME REAL
609
00:10:25,000 --> 00:10:26,000
WE RENT OUT EACH OF THE ROOMS AS
A SEPARATE UNIT -- TWO BEDROOMS,
610
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:27,000
ARTISTS.
I'M GETTING LAID.
611
00:10:27,000 --> 00:10:28,000
WE USED YOUR GEL ON THE LEFT
Ruckus: WELL, LOOKS TO ME
LIKE I CAN DO WHATEVER I WANT
612
00:10:28,000 --> 00:10:29,000
I'M JUST DEALING WITH SOME
PERSONAL PROBLEMS.
I'M GETTING OUR FREEDOM PAPERS.
613
00:10:29,000 --> 00:10:30,000
UP, MY
DUDE!
TO, SLAVE.
FREE-LANCE HONEY BADGER.
614
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,000
>> BITCHES BE HATIN'.
615
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:32,000
YOU KNOW WHAT?
I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW I GOT A JOB.
MM, THAT TASTES GOOD IN MY
MOUTH.
616
00:10:32,000 --> 00:10:33,000
"FREE-LANCE HONEY BADGER"?
RIGHT NOW, WE'RE BOTH LETTING
THE HATERS GET US DOWN.
617
00:10:33,000 --> 00:10:34,000
THIS IS BETTER THAN WHITE-BITCH
I THINK THEY WERE JUST MAKING UP
WORDS AFTER AWHILE.
618
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:35,000
WE GOT TO SHAKE THE HATERS.
GOD, I LIKE YOU.
619
00:10:35,000 --> 00:10:36,000
Granddad: WHAT DO WE THINK
ABOUT...HAVING PEOPLE MOVE IN
Granddad: LOTS OF IMPORTANT
JOBS -- VALET AND PIMPS.
620
00:10:36,000 --> 00:10:37,000
DO THIS FOR ME, TOM.
AAH!
621
00:10:37,000 --> 00:10:38,000
COME ON. SHAKE THOSE HATERS.
622
00:10:38,000 --> 00:10:39,000
Huey: WHOA. WAIT.
Huey: WHICH ONE ARE YOU?
I'M HATE-FREE, BUT I CAN STILL
FEEL THE HATE ON YOU.
623
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:40,000
Granddad: HUSH.
624
00:10:40,000 --> 00:10:41,000
Riley: YEAH, MAN, SLOW DOWN.
DON'T WORRY ABOUT WHAT I AM.
Tom: PEOPLE DON'T ACTUALLY
LIVE HERE, DO THEY?
625
00:10:41,000 --> 00:10:42,000
YOU'RE INTERESTED IN PLACING AN
MMM. FEELS GOOD, DOESN'T IT?
ME, NOT MY FAME OR MY MONEY...
626
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:43,000
YOU GUYS WILL LOVE IT.
627
00:10:43,000 --> 00:10:44,000
AND HE SAID...
IT'LL BE LIKE A COMMUNE.
628
00:10:44,000 --> 00:10:45,000
OKAY, SO...
Granddad: FAME?
Ruckus: HELLO, LIL' NIGGERS.
629
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:46,000
WHO NEEDS THAT?
NOW WILL YOU TAKE THE CASE?
630
00:10:46,000 --> 00:10:47,000
>> Granddad: EXCUSE ME?
NOPE, DON'T NEED FAME.
631
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:48,000
Tom: NO.
GET OUT THERE AND SELL THAT
SHRIVELED-UP MONKEY DICK.
632
00:10:48,000 --> 00:10:49,000
OKAY, FINE.
MR. FREEMAN -- AN
633
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,000
IF YOU CAN'T TAKE THE CASE, YOU
CAN'T TAKE THE CASE.
AFRICAN-AMERICAN ENTREPRENEUR.
634
00:10:50,000 --> 00:10:51,000
SEE YOU IN THE MORNING, HO MAN.
EVEN IF YOUR MAN DOESN'T HAVE A
401.
635
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:52,000
IT JUST SEEMS LIKE ME -- SEXY,
BUFF ALPHA MALE -- AND YOU --
636
00:10:52,000 --> 00:10:53,000
"OCCUPY MY LIVING ROOM."
637
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:54,000
Riley: WHERE DO WE LIVE?
Granddad: 401K?
Granddad: RUCKUS, I'M NOT A
WHORE MAN.
638
00:10:54,000 --> 00:10:55,000
KINDHEARTED BUT FRUMPY
EVERYMAN -- COULD SOMEHOW BE
639
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,000
IT'S DAMN NEAR LIKE A WHOLE
OTHER HOUSE.
640
00:10:56,000 --> 00:10:57,000
I'M AN ESCORT.
641
00:10:57,000 --> 00:10:58,000
ABLE TO HELP EACH OTHER.
>> Granddad: HUH?
OH, LOOK AT THEY FOREARMS AND
LEGS JUST GETTIN' STRONG!
642
00:10:58,000 --> 00:10:59,000
Tom: AM I A FRUMPY EVERYMAN?
LOOK, CAN I GIVE YOU THE
ULTIMATE IN CABLE-SERIES LOVE?
643
00:10:59,000 --> 00:11:00,000
LET ME BREAK DOWN "ESCORT" FOR
YOU.
644
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:01,000
MAKE THIS SHIT FLY.
YES, THIS IS GOOD FOR THE BODY
AND THE SOUL.
645
00:11:01,000 --> 00:11:02,000
YOU JUST GET YOUR ASS BACK ON
IS THAT WHY SHE'S LOST
INTEREST?!
646
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:03,000
Granddad: YOU GONNA TRY TO
TRAP ME BY GETTING PREGNANT?
647
00:11:03,000 --> 00:11:04,000
OF COURSE.
648
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,000
TOM!
649
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:06,000
Ruckus: WELL, THAT COTTON IS
ORGANIC.
WHITE WOMAN WHO, TEMPORARILY
DOWN ON HER LUCK, USES THE
650
00:11:06,000 --> 00:11:07,000
YOUR HAIR LOOKS LIKE
651
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:08,000
1, 2, 3. 1, 2, 3.
652
00:11:08,000 --> 00:11:09,000
POWERS OF HER GOLD-PLATED VAGINA
TO CARE FOR HER ADORABLE KIDS.
653
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:10,000
HEY, NIGGER-LOVERS!
YOU GOT NO FLASH, NO SWAG, NO
THIN VENEER OF TOUGHNESS.
654
00:11:10,000 --> 00:11:11,000
WHOA!
655
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:12,000
>> Riley: ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT,
656
00:11:12,000 --> 00:11:13,000
OF COURSE YOUR WIFE LEFT YOU AND
IS DOING IT TO SOME RANDOM GUY.
NO, SILLY, A PROMISE RING DURING
THE SEASON FINALE.
657
00:11:13,000 --> 00:11:14,000
ALL RI-I-I-GHT.
658
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:15,000
>> I'LL TAKE ALL OF IT --
659
00:11:15,000 --> 00:11:16,000
Tom: THAT'S NOT WHAT I SAID
HAPPENED.
Granddad: THEN IT'S A DEAL.
660
00:11:16,000 --> 00:11:17,000
WHATEVER YOU GOT.
Ruckus: OH, THE MASSA LOVES
TAP DANCING.
661
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:18,000
SO, LOOK -- YOU TAKE THE
CASE, AND I TEACH YOU HOW TO
YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH DUDES?
662
00:11:18,000 --> 00:11:19,000
HE SAYS THE TIPPITY-TAP OF NIGGA
FEETS IS SO MEDITATIVE.
ADVISE MY GRANDFATHER BRIEFLY?
663
00:11:19,000 --> 00:11:20,000
DRESS AND HOW TO TALK TO BITCHES
AND SAVE YOUR MARRIAGE.
664
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:21,000
Granddad: WHOA!
665
00:11:21,000 --> 00:11:22,000
I'M ESCORTING LADIES.
Tom: RUCKUS, I HATE TO BREAK
MY AMUSEMENT-PARK CHARACTER AND
666
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:23,000
Tom: YOU KNOW WHAT?
Riley: WELL, THAT'S ALL
RIGHT, THEN.
667
00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,000
WHY NOT?
YOU KNEW I APPRECIATED THE FINER
THINGS BEFORE WE GOT PROMISED!
668
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:25,000
ACTUALLY, THAT'S KIND OF
GANGSTA.
YOU'RE NOT GONNA TEACH ME HOW TO
DANCE, RIGHT?
669
00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:26,000
OH, GOD! OH, GOD! HELP US!
670
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:27,000
NO.
Huey: YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO
GET A REAL JOB.
671
00:11:27,000 --> 00:11:28,000
NO DANCING.
WHAT THE HELL?!
672
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:29,000
Granddad: THIS IS A REAL JOB.
BUT THERE WILL BE A SHOPPING
MONTAGE.
DOCUMENTS CALLED "THE
CONSTITUTION" AND "THE
673
00:11:29,000 --> 00:11:30,000
BOY, THAT'S RIDICULOUS.
UNH!
674
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,000
MISS BOSS WILLONA IS A PILLAR OF
TWO THINGS WOMEN HATE -- BROKE
MEN AND BORING MEN.
EMANCIPATION PROCLAMATION," AND
THEY SPECIFICALLY FORBID KEEPING
675
00:11:32,000 --> 00:11:33,000
THE COMMUNITY.
OH. MY. GOD!
676
00:11:33,000 --> 00:11:34,000
>> I ASSURE YOU OUR OPERATION IS
677
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:35,000
GOOD NEWS IS, YOU'RE NOT BROKE.
OH, THIS IS
US HERE AGAINST OUR WILL.
678
00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:36,000
Granddad: YES, UH, I'M THE
AAAAH!
679
00:11:36,000 --> 00:11:37,000
BUT YOU ARE BORING, AND WOMEN
HATE TO BE BORED, TOM.
680
00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:38,000
OWNER OF THE HOUSE.
PERFECT.
681
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:39,000
YOU AIN'T THE OWNER OF THE
HOUSE.
682
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:40,000
THEY HATE TO BE BORED.
THIS STUFF.
I COULD LET YOU GO...
683
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:41,000
A WOMAN WOULD RATHER BE WITH A
GUY THAT BEATS THEM TO DEATH
684
00:11:41,000 --> 00:11:42,000
BE LATE FOR MY FIRST DATE.
Granddad: YES, WELL, I'M
ROBERT FREEMAN, CIVIL RIGHTS --
685
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,000
>> Huey: NO, GRANDDAD, I THINK
686
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:44,000
THAN BORES THEM TO DEATH.
THAT'S HOW WE ALL GOT HERE.
687
00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:45,000
>> Granddad: DON'T LISTEN TO
TRUST ME, NIGGA, I KNOW.
688
00:11:45,000 --> 00:11:46,000
HIM, BOSS LADY WILLONA.
689
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:47,000
BUT WHY DO THEY WANT ME, TOM?
690
00:11:47,000 --> 00:11:48,000
WHY YOU GOT TO RUIN EVERYTHING?
Huey: THE ONLY WAY WE GONNA
691
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:49,000
>> Huey: WE GOT TO TELL THEM.
Granddad:
692
00:11:49,000 --> 00:11:50,000
GET OUR FREEDOM IS TO TAKE IT.
Granddad: I WAS HOPING TO USE
THE BATHROOM.
693
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:51,000
IS IT MY INCREDIBLE SEXINESS?
Riley: HOW WE SUPPOSED TO DO
THAT?
NOT SO FAST, YOU CRACKER!
694
00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:52,000
SURE.
>> Granddad: YOU DRIVE ME CRAZY,
EVERY TIME YOU DO THAT, YOU'RE
ACTUALLY KIND OF KILLING HER.
695
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:53,000
NOW EXCUSE ME.
Huey: BY ANY MEANS NECESSARY.
BUT WHY AM I SO SEXY?
696
00:11:53,000 --> 00:11:54,000
Riley: I AIN'T TRYING TO DIE.
Granddad: YES, BUT I WOULD
PREFER TO U--
TIME FOR GRANDDAD TO GIVE THE
LADIES WHAT THEY NEED.
697
00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,000
WHAT IS THE SECRET TO MY
SEXINESS?
Granddad: SORRY.
698
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:56,000
>> Huey: BOSS WILLONA, THIS
OUT MY FACE, NIGGA!
699
00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:57,000
MY MONEY, MY JEWELS, FAME?
700
00:11:57,000 --> 00:11:58,000
MM. OHH.
ARE WE ABOUT TO HAVE A NIGGA
MOMENT?
SO, WHAT'S THE LATEST,
DOCTOR?
701
00:11:58,000 --> 00:11:59,000
COMPOUND.
702
00:11:59,000 --> 00:12:00,000
ABSOLUTELY.
IT'S A HIGHLY EXPLOSIVE
WELL, AFTER BILLING HER
INSURANCE FOR EVERY TEST
703
00:12:00,000 --> 00:12:01,000
THIS IS EXACTLY WHAT I NEEDED.
BUT, REALLY, IT'S BECAUSE I'M A
UP.
704
00:12:01,000 --> 00:12:02,000
Granddad: NO, PLEASE.
POSSIBLE BECAUSE -- LET'S FACE
IT -- THE LONGER I'M GONE, THE
705
00:12:02,000 --> 00:12:03,000
I DON'T WANNA HAVE A NIGGA
MOMENT.
GOD, I SHOULD HAVE SIGNED UP FOR
MORE THAN THREE HOURS.
706
00:12:03,000 --> 00:12:04,000
AAH!
I GET ARRESTED, I DO DRUGS, I
ROB LIQUOR STORES -- ALLEGEDLY!
707
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:05,000
I JUST HAVE TO GO TO THE
BATHROOM.
708
00:12:05,000 --> 00:12:06,000
FIRST I GOT TO BE A SLAVE, NOW
YOU SAYIN' IT'S MY FAULT.
709
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,000
Granddad:
710
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:08,000
THAT'S WHAT ALL WOMEN WANT.
OHH, ROBERT!
711
00:12:08,000 --> 00:12:09,000
HER ASS EXPLODED.
712
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:10,000
YOU THINK THEM BITCHES OUT THERE
713
00:12:10,000 --> 00:12:12,000
BECAUSE WOMEN HAVE NO
SELF-RESPECT!
I HAVE FRIENDS WITH LOTS OF
EXTRA ASS!
714
00:12:12,000 --> 00:12:13,000
CAN WE DONATE?
Tom: WELL, MY WIFE HAS
715
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,000
Granddad: TOM, STOP GRIPING.
ROBERT, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE
NONVIOLENT!
716
00:12:14,000 --> 00:12:15,000
SELF-RESPECT.
717
00:12:15,000 --> 00:12:16,000
REALLY? YOU SURE?
PERSON'S ASS GETS THIS BIG, BUT
I'M AFRAID WE JUST HAVE TO WAIT.
718
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:17,000
Tom: YES!
Granddad: UNH-UNH.
719
00:12:17,000 --> 00:12:18,000
Granddad: NO!
SHE'S AN EDUCATED, WELL-ROUNDED,
CONFIDENT WOMAN.
720
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,000
Granddad: NOPE.
UNFORTUNATELY, YOU MIGHT HAVE TO
MAKE SOME TOUGH DECISIONS.
721
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,000
THAT'S IT!
AND WHAT ABOUT HER?
722
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:21,000
I MAY NEED TO MEET HER.
YOU THINK YOU CAN TAKE ME?
Granddad: NO, MARGE SIMPSON'S
NOT PRETTIER THAN YOU, EITHER!
723
00:12:21,000 --> 00:12:22,000
Tom: NO, NO, NO. NO.
DON'T YOU GET IT?
724
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:23,000
I KNOW WHERE THIS GOES.
THESE BITCHES WOULD PUT NAPALM
725
00:12:23,000 --> 00:12:24,000
YOU'RE PRETTIER THAN TONIGHT'S
ENTIRE LINEUP AND ALL OF BASIC
726
00:12:24,000 --> 00:12:25,000
YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO MY WIFE.
THAT'S A.A.A.S. -- ASS
AUGMENTATION ADDICTION SYNDROME.
727
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,000
DO YOUR WIFE?
AAH!
728
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:27,000
TOM, I WOULDN'T DO YOUR WIFE.
PHONE!
PUT A WARNING LABEL ON IT.
729
00:12:27,000 --> 00:12:28,000
OH, THANK YOU.
Tom: YOU HAVE A SONG CALLED
"I WILL DO YOUR WIFE!"
730
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:29,000
OW!
731
00:12:29,000 --> 00:12:30,000
YOU REALLY TURNED OUR LIFE INTO
"GOOD TIMES."
732
00:12:30,000 --> 00:12:31,000
THIS ISN'T FAIR!
733
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,000
FAIR?
I DIDN'T MEAN YOUR WIFE!
734
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:33,000
LIFE TENDS NOT TO BE FAIR WHEN
YOU START SHOVING FOREIGN
735
00:12:33,000 --> 00:12:34,000
I MEANT THAT METAPHORICALLY.
736
00:12:34,000 --> 00:12:35,000
Riley: YEAH, FOR NOW.
Granddad: OOH!
737
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:36,000
Tom: MM, I STILL DON'T THINK
IT'S A GOOD IDEA.
I WON'T BE FREE UNTIL WE'RE ALL
FREE!
738
00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,000
THAT NIGGER BITCH IS MINE!
739
00:12:37,000 --> 00:12:38,000
OH, GOD, I'VE BEEN SO LONELY!
NIGGA, I SWEAR ON MY ABS --
ON MY ABS, NIGGA! -- I WILL NOT
740
00:12:38,000 --> 00:12:39,000
Ruckus: TOM, SARAH BOUGHT
YOUR FREEDOM.
741
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:40,000
WHY CAN'T Y'ALL GET JOBS?
742
00:12:40,000 --> 00:12:41,000
AAH!
YOU CAN GO.
Huey: CHILD LABOR LAWS,
UNSAFE WORKPLACES, REALLY SMALL
743
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,000
TOUCH YOUR WIFE.
744
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:43,000
Tom: WELL, MY DAUGHTER WOULD
LOVE TO MEET YOU.
GET EVERYBODY BACK TO THE BUS!
745
00:12:43,000 --> 00:12:44,000
CALL THE CHAPLAIN AND THE MORGUE
746
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:45,000
Granddad: OHH.
747
00:12:45,000 --> 00:12:46,000
A SMALL DINNER.
YOUR GENERATION IS JUST LAZY,
THAT'S ALL.
748
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:47,000
NO ENTOURAGE!
FOR THE STUPID GIRL IN THE ASS
ROOM!
749
00:12:47,000 --> 00:12:48,000
NO PROBLEM.
750
00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:49,000
AAH!
751
00:12:49,000 --> 00:12:50,000
MAN, I CAN'T BELIEVE ALL THESE
752
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:51,000
SHIT, BUT COME ON, THIS IS
INSANE!
753
00:12:51,000 --> 00:12:52,000
WE JUST CAN'T SIT AROUND HERE
AND WAIT!
AW, COME ON.
754
00:12:52,000 --> 00:12:53,000
NO! AAH!
755
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:54,000
I THOUGHT YOU GAVE UP WORK TO
RUN FOR MAYOR.
WE'LL START A WALK-A-THON!
756
00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:55,000
PEOPLE SHOWED UP.
Ruckus: "FRIENDS"?
757
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,000
OHH!
Tom: WELL, MAYBE IF YOU
HADN'T TWEETED OUR ADDRESS TO
AIN'T NO FRIENDS WHEN IT COMES
TO SLAVERY -- REAL OR MAKE
758
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:57,000
I'M SURE IT'LL CURE THIS.
I GAVE UP WORKING FOR NIGGAS,
AND OTHER COLORS, LIKE MEXICANS
759
00:12:57,000 --> 00:12:58,000
THAT'S HER AGAIN, DAMN IT!
760
00:12:58,000 --> 00:12:59,000
HEY, MAN...
BELIEVE.
761
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:00,000
Tom: YEAH, YOU WERE F'ed UP,
I KNOW.
NOW, SINCE I WAS CURSED WITH
REVITILIGO AND BORN IN THE 20th
762
00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:01,000
HERE'S YOUR CHANCE.
NOW YOU BETTER GRAB SOME SUDS
AND START WAXING HOODS.
763
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:02,000
OKAY, SO, CHECK IT.
CENTURY, I NEVER GOT MY CHANCE
TO EXPERIENCE THE BEAUTY AND
764
00:13:02,000 --> 00:13:03,000
KEY WITH CHICKS IS TO INSULT
THEM WHEN YOU COMPLIMENT THEM.
765
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:04,000
WAX ON, WAX OFF, NIGGA!
766
00:13:04,000 --> 00:13:05,000
CARE.
767
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,000
NEVER BE TOO NICE.
NOW, FOLLOW ME, BENCH.
768
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,000
TRUST ME.
GRAB A COMPUTER.
FINALLY, I GET MY CHANCE TO SHOW
MASSA I'M NOT LIKE THEM FIELD
769
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:08,000
GO NEG ON HER.
PULL THE STATS ON VANESSA.
770
00:13:08,000 --> 00:13:09,000
KNOCK HER DOWN A PEG.
771
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:10,000
SHE'LL LOVE IT.
772
00:13:10,000 --> 00:13:11,000
NIGGAS.
Granddad: DAMN!
773
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:12,000
I GOT HIS BACK!
Granddad: WHAT ARE YOU DOING
774
00:13:12,000 --> 00:13:13,000
WHAT'S THIS THING, ELECTRIC?
775
00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:14,000
Tom: HEY, SWEETIE, YOU LOOK
LOVELY TONIGHT.
776
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:15,000
LETTERS TO ABRAHAM LINCOLN
LOOKING FOR HELP.
777
00:13:15,000 --> 00:13:16,000
HERE?
778
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:17,000
GET ON THE BUS!
Sarah: OH, THANK YOU, HONEY.
779
00:13:17,000 --> 00:13:18,000
ANY SLAVE I CATCH READING OR
WRITING WILL BE SHOT
780
00:13:18,000 --> 00:13:19,000
Granddad: FINE, TAKE THIS.
Tom: YEAH, BUT NOT AS NICE AS
YOU THINK YOU LOOK.
781
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,000
COME ON, MAN!
NO.
782
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:21,000
>> Riley: THAT'S OKAY.
Sarah: ASSHOLE!
I WOULD GIVE MY ASS FOR THAT
ASS.
783
00:13:21,000 --> 00:13:22,000
LOOK, LOU GOSSETT JR. IS
WASHING MY CAR.
784
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:23,000
MONEY.
785
00:13:23,000 --> 00:13:24,000
>> Granddad: I UNDERSTAND, HUEY.
786
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,000
STOP TRYING TO HIDE INSIDE MY
TRUNK.
787
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:26,000
SO MANY BAD THINGS HAS HAPPENED
788
00:13:26,000 --> 00:13:27,000
I DON'T KNOW WHY THEY FIRED
THE SAND PEOPLE.
AAH!
789
00:13:27,000 --> 00:13:28,000
IT'S HARD NOT TO ASSUME THE
THAT'LL MAKE IT ALL BETTER.
790
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,000
Granddad: HEY, NEIGHBOR!
OKAY, SLEEP TIGHT.
791
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:30,000
BUT DON'T YOU SEE?
792
00:13:30,000 --> 00:13:31,000
THE NIGHT.
WE, UH, HEARD THERE'S A DINNER
PARTY GOING DOWN, AND I NEVER
AAH! DIANE!
793
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:32,000
WHAT YOU'RE DOING FOR OUR
WOMEN IS BIGGER THAN THAT.
794
00:13:32,000 --> 00:13:33,000
THIS TIME, EVERYTHING'S GONNA
HUEY, I'M READY TO BUST UP OUT
OF HERE, MAN.
795
00:13:33,000 --> 00:13:34,000
WORK OUT PERFECTLY.
RECEIVED THE E-VITE, SO HERE WE
ARE.
796
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,000
YOU'RE BOOSTING THEIR
SELF-ESTEEM, MAKING THEM FEEL
Granddad: SO YOU GET OFF ON
GETTING MY KARDASHIA ALL STRUNG
797
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:36,000
I KNOW IT.
I KNOW YOU GOT A PLAN.
798
00:13:36,000 --> 00:13:37,000
FEEL THAT, NIGGA? FEEL THAT?
799
00:13:37,000 --> 00:13:38,000
OUT ON ASS?
>>NEXT ON "CHANNEL 11 NEWS"...
800
00:13:38,000 --> 00:13:39,000
I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE
TALKING ABOUT.
THAT FEELIN' IS CALLED "WORK."
801
00:13:39,000 --> 00:13:40,000
UNH!
COULD YOU HAVE A BOMB IN YOUR ■
802
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:41,000
NO KIDS, 39.
Huey: I DO, BUT IT WON'T BE
EASY.
Tom: YOU DIDN'T GET ONE
BECAUSE YOU WEREN'T INVITED.
803
00:13:41,000 --> 00:13:42,000
HAIR? ■
804
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:43,000
SHE FOUND OUR AD IN THE BACK OF
THAT BOOK, "THINK LIKE A DUDE
WE MAY NOT MAKE IT OUT ALIVE,
BUT IF A MAN DOESN'T HAVE
YOU GOT A LOT OF NERVE LEAVING
ME OUT IN THE COLD AND THEN
805
00:13:43,000 --> 00:13:44,000
Granddad: SHUT UP, RUCKUS.
806
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:45,000
WHEN DO I GET PAID?
'CAUSE YOUR LONELY BLACK ASS
AIN'T NEVER GONNA GET ONE
SOMETHING WORTH DYING FOR,
WHAT'S THE POINT OF LIVING?
807
00:13:45,000 --> 00:13:46,000
PRODUCT CONTAINS A DANGEROUSLY ■
WANTING TO COME TO THE FLIZZY
DINNER FOR THE FREE FOOD.
808
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:47,000
YOU FIRED.
809
00:13:47,000 --> 00:13:48,000
Granddad: FIRED? WHY?
THIS IS COOL.
810
00:13:48,000 --> 00:13:49,000
Granddad: NO, GODDAMN IT!
Granddad: WE DIDN'T COME HERE
FOR THE FREE FOOD.
811
00:13:49,000 --> 00:13:50,000
THE CAR-WASH BRASS IS CUTTIN'
BACK HOURS.
OPEN HAND MEANS PUT SOMETHING IN
IT SO I CAN HIT THIS PUNK-ASS
812
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:51,000
WE CAME HERE TO WARN YOU.
BUT WHAT ABOUT THE STRATEGY
OF NONVIOLENT DIRECT ACTION?
813
00:13:51,000 --> 00:13:52,000
TOM, YOU GOT TO GET THAT FLIZZY
AWAY FROM YOUR WIFE!
SHE READ THE BOOK TWICE 'CAUSE
SHE DIDN'T HAVE A DATE.
Riley: GOOD, 'CAUSE I WAS
ABOUT TO TELL YOU THAT YOU ON
814
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:53,000
WE'LL CALL YOU WHEN WE NEED YOU.
815
00:13:53,000 --> 00:13:54,000
YOUR OWN IF IT DIDN'T.
IT'S BAD ENOUGH SHE'S TRAPPED IN
THIS PASSIONLESS, SEXUALLY
816
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:55,000
WHAT'S THE PLAN?
THAT
817
00:13:55,000 --> 00:13:56,000
UNFULFILLING MARRIAGE WITH YOU.
818
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,000
EVEN THE SKINNY WHITE
"SEX AND THE CITY" BITCHES CAN'T
819
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,000
WOMEN ATTEMPTED TO BOARD A ■
HER LADYPARTS PROBABLY BURNING
WITH UNQUENCHABLE LUST, AND YOU
820
00:13:58,000 --> 00:13:59,000
PLANE AND WERE STOPPED AFTER ■
Riley: WHAT'S TAKING GRANDDAD
821
00:13:59,000 --> 00:14:00,000
FIND A GOOD MAN FOR SIX SEASONS.
JUST GONNA DANGLE ALL THAT
SEXINESS IN FRONT OF HER?!
822
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,000
WHAT'D YOU DO NOW?
823
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:02,000
Tom: HUH?
THEIR PERSON. ■
Huey: IT WAS GOING TO BE RISKY.
824
00:14:02,000 --> 00:14:03,000
FLORIDA BEATRICE JACKSON AND ■
Riley: MAN, IT'S LIKE, "HERE,
NIGGA, TAKE MY WIFE, PLEASE!"
825
00:14:03,000 --> 00:14:04,000
SO LONG?
Granddad: HUH?
826
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:05,000
I'M HUNGRY.
827
00:14:05,000 --> 00:14:06,000
Huey: YOU KNOW HE'S GOT A
SONG CALLED --
DETAINED FOR SEVERAL HOURS ■
CLEANUP ON BED NUMBER THREE,
828
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:08,000
BEFORE IT WAS FINALLY ■
Tom: "I WILL DO YOUR WIFE,"
YES.
829
00:14:08,000 --> 00:14:09,000
COURAGE.
Huey: BUT THERE'S ALSO A
SONG CALLED, "WHITE WIFEBOOTY."
830
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:10,000
OR MORE PRECISELY, THEIR HAIR ■
Huey: THIS PLACE IS
DEPRESSING.
831
00:14:10,000 --> 00:14:11,000
THE BAD NIGGER NEWS.
UNCLE RUCKUS IS BACK ON THE
SCENE, RUFFLING SMALL-TOWN
832
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:12,000
KNOW THAT?
IF I'M ABOUT TO DIE, PROMISE
YOU'LL JUST PULL THE PLUG.
833
00:14:12,000 --> 00:14:13,000
Tom: REALLY?
Riley: YEAH, WE ALREADY
SLAVES.
834
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:14,000
NO, NO, I DIDN'T.
A BLACK WOMAN IS MORE LIKELY TO
DIE IN A TANNING-SALON FIRE THAN
835
00:14:14,000 --> 00:14:15,000
DON'T BE A BITCH, TOO.
ALL EXOTIFIED AND WHATNOT WITH ■
836
00:14:15,000 --> 00:14:16,000
AND IT DOESN'T MATTER, GUYS.
Granddad: NIGGA, WHERE YOU
837
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:17,000
ALL THIS HAIR, BUT WE AIN'T, ■
838
00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:18,000
I-I KNOW WHAT I'M DOING.
FIND TRUE LOVE.
839
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:19,000
Huey: EVERY GAIN IN U.S.
FLIZZY'S GONNA HELP ME WORK
THINGS OUT WITH SARAH.
■
840
00:14:19,000 --> 00:14:20,000
YOU'RE MAKING THESE LONELY BLACK
WOMEN FEEL LOVED, AND THAT
HISTORY HAS BEEN BECAUSE
OPPRESSED PEOPLE WEREN'T AFRAID
841
00:14:20,000 --> 00:14:21,000
Granddad: OH, HE GONNA WORK
SOMETHING OUT, ALL RIGHT.
842
00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,000
NOW, WAIT A MINUTE, WAIT A
843
00:14:22,000 --> 00:14:23,000
ALONE! ■
TO FIGHT.
Granddad: I GOT YOU NOW,
844
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:24,000
Tom: HE'S HERE TO HELP.
IF WE DON'T FIGHT, WE'RE SAYING
IT'S OKAY FOR THEM TO OWN
845
00:14:24,000 --> 00:14:25,000
Granddad: OH, HE GONNA HELP
HIMSELF TO THAT BOOTY!
ROBERT, NO!
846
00:14:25,000 --> 00:14:26,000
HE ALMOST RIGHT.
IN
VANESSA'S VEINS -- SHE'LL KEEP
847
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:27,000
THE WHITE HALF OF HIM RIGHT,
BECAUSE THE WHITE BUSINESSMAN,
848
00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:28,000
Granddad: HE'S GONNA --
Tom: CONTROL THAT BOOTY.
Huey: ...OUR SELF WORTH, OUR
MINDS, AND I'M NOT GIVING UP MY
Granddad: AAH!
849
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:29,000
YOU PAID FOREVER.
850
00:14:29,000 --> 00:14:30,000
GOT IT.
SINGLE JAR CONTAINS ENOUGH HIGH ■
WELL, THAT PERSON DIDN'T FINISH
851
00:14:30,000 --> 00:14:31,000
Granddad: I WASN'T GONNA
SAY THAT.
852
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:32,000
I JUST WANT TO GET OUT OF DEBT.
HE GONNA BE UNDER THAT BOOTY!
853
00:14:32,000 --> 00:14:33,000
Riley: ME NEITHER!
PLANE OR A PRIUS. ■
854
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:34,000
Riley: HA HA!
THAT'S WHAT'S UP.
855
00:14:34,000 --> 00:14:35,000
GOOD ONE, GRANDDAD!
YEAH, COME ON, GUYS!
856
00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:36,000
NOW YOU GO BLOW LOVE SMOKE UP
VANESSA'S BLACK ASS AND GET MY
857
00:14:36,000 --> 00:14:37,000
ROBERT, YOU HAVE TO TRUST ME.
Tom: YEAH, HA, YEAH, VERY
FUNNY GUYS. ENOUGH.
858
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:38,000
Granddad: NIGGA, I'M GONNA
HIS BLACK ASS ALL THE WAY OVER
HERE TO AMERICA TO DO SOME
I'M UP IN THAT PIECE.
859
00:14:38,000 --> 00:14:39,000
Granddad: AS LONG AS YOU
KNOW.
MONEY.
860
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:40,000
NEXT TIME YOUR KIDS ARE BORN
WITH GREAT ABS AND TATTOOS,
Granddad: I AGREE!
861
00:14:40,000 --> 00:14:41,000
KILL YOU!
862
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:42,000
PRODUCTIVE WORK.
TURN THE OTHER CHEEK, ROBERT.
863
00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:43,000
DON'T SAY I DIDN'T WARN YOU.
DON'T SCREAM. IT'S OKAY!
864
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,000
TELL THAT MAN HE'S YOUR BROTHER.
COME ON, KIDS. LET'S EAT.
865
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:45,000
Granddad: WHAT?!
866
00:14:45,000 --> 00:14:46,000
I GIVE FOOD TO THE HUNGRY.
THANK YOU, FANS. THANK YOU.
WHAT THE --
Riley: MM-MMM!
867
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:47,000
Sarah:
868
00:14:47,000 --> 00:14:48,000
ALL RIGHT, THAT'S IT!
869
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:49,000
OH, MY GOD, FLIZZY,
YOU'RE SO FUNNY AND SO POLITE.
870
00:14:49,000 --> 00:14:50,000
Y'ALL HAD YOUR FUN!
871
00:14:50,000 --> 00:14:51,000
FREEDOMLAND HATH PAID HANDSOME
DIVIDENDS.
872
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,000
YOU MEAN I COME DOWN HERE FOR
NOTHING?
THAT, MY FRIENDS, IS HOW COME WE
ARE LOSIN' TO THE CHINESE --
873
00:14:52,000 --> 00:14:53,000
WHICH SAID IT HAD SOLD OUT OF ■
874
00:14:53,000 --> 00:14:54,000
I GATHERED YOU TOGETHER AS IT
WOULD GIVE ME GREAT UMBRAGE IF
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU ROB LIQUOR
STORES AND YOU BEAT UP WOMEN.
I CAME DOWN HERE TO BEAT UP A
NIGGER!
875
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,000
THE PRODUCT, CLAIMED IT WOULD ■
876
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,000
BECAUSE THE CHINAMAN USES SLAVE
LABOR, AND WE DON'T.
877
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:57,000
NOT BE ORDERING ANY MORE BUT ■
ANY FELLOWS OBJECTED TO US
THUSLY BRANCHING OUT.
878
00:14:57,000 --> 00:14:58,000
Tom: SARAH!
879
00:14:58,000 --> 00:14:59,000
NO, IT'S COOL.
OW.
880
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,000
SHE'S RIGHT.
>> Riley: SEE? NO SNITCHING.
OH, WHAT A STUNNING VICTORY,
881
00:15:00,000 --> 00:15:01,000
I REALLY NEED TO STOP GETTING
ARRESTED.
882
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:02,000
>> Granddad: SHUSH!
WHERE YOU GOING?
883
00:15:02,000 --> 00:15:03,000
Sarah: I'M NOT PASSING
JUDGMENT ABOUT THE CHRISTIANNA
THE ONE THAT COMES WITH A HOUSE
KEY.
I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU.
884
00:15:03,000 --> 00:15:04,000
I'M WITH JIM.
THEY SHOULD BE USIN' GOOD
OLD-FASHIONED BLACKY AMERICAN
885
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:05,000
URGING PEOPLE WHO BOUGHT THE ■
IT MAKES THE MEETINGS GO LONG,
AND MY TYLER'S GOT SOCCER
MAYBE YOU HAVEN'T BEEN KEEPING
UP ON CURRENT EVENTS, BUT WE
886
00:15:05,000 --> 00:15:06,000
I KNOW SOMETIMES BITCHES STEP
OUT OF LINE.
887
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:07,000
TONIGHT.
Riley: WE DO! I MEAN, I DO.
888
00:15:07,000 --> 00:15:08,000
SLAVE LABOR!
JUST GOT OUR ASSES KICKED, PAL.
LET'S EXPAND THIS FREEDOMLAND
889
00:15:08,000 --> 00:15:09,000
LORD KNOWS I DO!
890
00:15:09,000 --> 00:15:10,000
YOU'RE GONNA GET US ALL KILLED.
Tom: HONEY, THERE ARE
891
00:15:10,000 --> 00:15:11,000
IT'S A DAMN CASH COW!
DEATH IS A SMALL PRICE TO PAY
FOR FREEDOM.
892
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,000
CHILDREN AT THE TABLE.
CHEWBACCA!
893
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:13,000
SESSION TO MAKE SALE OR ■
BUT WE HAVE SOME MINOR
Sarah: NOW, I WANT TO BE
CLEAR, KIDS -- HITTING A WOMAN
894
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:14,000
CAME IN THE MAIL TODAY.
895
00:15:14,000 --> 00:15:15,000
A GANGSTALICIOUS CARD.
Ruckus: OH, DON'T LOOK AT ME.
896
00:15:15,000 --> 00:15:16,000
IS WRONG...
TERRORIST OFFENSE, PUNISHABLE ■
PAY FOR ANYTHING!
897
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:17,000
YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS?
UNLESS SHE HITS YOU FIRST.
898
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,000
YOU WANT TO DIE.
Huey: YOU GOT THE
GANGSTALICIOUS CARD, GRANDDAD?
899
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:19,000
AIN'T THAT RIGHT!
Granddad: SHE'S ONE OF MY
CLIENTS.
FUN IN FREEDOMLAND.
900
00:15:19,000 --> 00:15:20,000
EXCUSE ME?
901
00:15:20,000 --> 00:15:21,000
Tom: WOW.
DRONE STRIKE. ■
902
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:22,000
AND THEY'LL DESERVE IT. ■
Sarah: OR SHE TALKS ABOUT
YOUR MAMA!
I TOLD HER, EVEN AN ARMENIAN
GIRL'S CABOOSE HAS ITS LIMITS.
903
00:15:22,000 --> 00:15:23,000
TIM, BACK TO YOU. ■
EH, REMEMBER WE TRIED THAT AT
THE INDIAN SECTION.
904
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:24,000
Tom: SARAH, THAT IS ENOUGH!
VERY UNNIGGARDLY OF YOU, ROBERT.
905
00:15:24,000 --> 00:15:25,000
>> Riley: DOES THIS MEAN WE
Sarah: "SARAH, THAT'S
ENOUGH."
SHE KNEW THE RISKS!
906
00:15:25,000 --> 00:15:26,000
Granddad: SHUT UP, RUCKUS.
907
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:27,000
Tom: SARAH, THAT'S IT!
CAN'T MAKE NO MORE MONEY?
UH, FREEDOM FELLERS?
908
00:15:27,000 --> 00:15:28,000
Granddad: I'M TIRED OF THIS.
BOY, THAT IS A POWERFUL REQUEST.
YOU'RE EMBARRASSING YOURSELF IN
FRONT OF YOUR DAUGHTER AND IN
909
00:15:28,000 --> 00:15:29,000
MATTER OF FACT, I'M DONE
TALKING.
WE DON'T NEED LITIGATION.
KARDASHIAN CARD, LIL WAYNE
CARD -- YOU SEE, BOYS?
910
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:30,000
THIS GUY WON'T LET ME GET
AROUND, AND I FOUND THIS.
911
00:15:30,000 --> 00:15:31,000
FRONT OF PRETTY BOY FLIZZY!
THEM BIG-THIGH BLACK ONES JUST
LIKE BEDBUGS.
WE NEED SOMETHING THAT MAKES US
LOOK GOOD, ENTERTAINS THE
912
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:32,000
THERE WAS A WARNING LABEL.
Riley: IT'S LIKE WE NOT EVEN
HERE.
913
00:15:32,000 --> 00:15:33,000
MASSES, AND KEEPS THEM WORKING.
>> Huey: ARE YOU SERIOUS?
914
00:15:33,000 --> 00:15:34,000
Tom: NOW, YOU'VE HAD ENOUGH.
I THINK IT'S FOR Y'ALL.
915
00:15:34,000 --> 00:15:35,000
YOU ARE GOING TO GO UPSTAIRS AND
SLEEP IT OFF!
THE RIDERS WERE ABOUT TO SEE
HOW FAR THE KLAN WOULD GO TO
916
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:36,000
TO GET 'EM OUT.
917
00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:37,000
WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO, TOM?
EXACTLY.
918
00:15:37,000 --> 00:15:38,000
STOP THAT BUS.
$1,500 IN FEES?!
919
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:39,000
HIT ME?
Granddad: DON'T YOU EVER
WITH US OR ANYONE WE
920
00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:40,000
Tom: NO! I'M GONNA LEAVE YOU!
921
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,000
I HOPE THIS NOTE FINDS YOU WELL.
SO, UH, I TOOK THE LIBERTY OF
922
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:42,000
MWAH!
923
00:15:42,000 --> 00:15:43,000
Jazmine: DADDY!
NO, NO!
GIVE ME SOME TIME.
924
00:15:43,000 --> 00:15:44,000
Sarah: TOM, WAIT!
COULD YOU NOT DO THAT?
925
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,000
TOM!
HOPE THERE ARE NO HARD FEELINGS.
926
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,000
Granddad: TOM, GREW A PAIR.
Granddad: HUH?
927
00:15:46,000 --> 00:15:47,000
DIDN'T SEE THAT COMING.
Huey: NO.
TO WHERE YOU CAME FROM, A BOMB
HAS BEEN PLACED ON THIS BUS.
928
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,000
YOUR PICK OF OUR OBESE WOMEN?
Riley:
929
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:49,000
I DON'T WANT THE MONEY BACK,
930
00:15:49,000 --> 00:15:50,000
WORK WITH ME HERE.
931
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:51,000
ROBERT.
YES, I SPENT MY WHOLE LIFE
FEEDING THE HUNGRY.
932
00:15:51,000 --> 00:15:53,000
I'M TRYING TO COME TO AN HONEST
AGREEMENT FOR ALL YOUR PEOPLE'S
I WANT MORE GEL -- A LOT MORE.
933
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:54,000
I FED MANY BROWN BABIES.
934
00:15:54,000 --> 00:15:55,000
YEAH, IT'S SO COZY, A-AND I LOVE
HOW YOU ARRANGED THE BEDS.
Riley: AND THIS ONE!
935
00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:56,000
OH, THAT'S RIGHT.
936
00:15:56,000 --> 00:15:57,000
IT'S A VERY...ECONOMICAL USE OF
SPACE.
MAN, PLEASE, PLEASE, CAN WE KEEP
HER, GRANDDAD?!
937
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,000
40 ACRES AND A MULE?
IT WAS LIKE THE OPPOSITE OF THAT
CINEMATIC CLASSIC "SPEED,"
938
00:15:58,000 --> 00:15:59,000
A CONTROLLED SUBSTANCE.
939
00:15:59,000 --> 00:16:00,000
SELLING MORE WOULD BE
BITTER.
940
00:16:00,000 --> 00:16:01,000
Granddad: YOU CAN'T THROW
AWAY MY OLD SHIRTS!
40 ACRES -- THAT'S A LOT OF
LAND!
SAY, DO YOU MIND IF WE STORE,
UH...SOMETHING HERE FOR JUST A
941
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:02,000
>> I DON'T BELIEVE IT'S THE
942
00:16:02,000 --> 00:16:03,000
SORRY TO BOTHER YOU.
I RELIVE MY GLORY DAYS IN MY OLD
SHIRTS!
943
00:16:03,000 --> 00:16:04,000
COUPLE OF DAYS?
944
00:16:04,000 --> 00:16:05,000
WOMEN THEY CAN'T HAVE LONG,
Ruckus: MR. WUNCLER, SIR,
NOW, I KNOW YOU SIMPLY WANTED ME
DIDN'T REALLY HAVE ANYONE ELSE
TO CALL.
945
00:16:05,000 --> 00:16:06,000
BEAUTIFUL HAIR.
946
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:07,000
>> UNH-UNH.
947
00:16:07,000 --> 00:16:08,000
EH, NO SWEAT, MAN.
TO BRING HIM HERE TO THIS
MEETING, BUT JUST WHISTLE, AND I
948
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:09,000
THAT WAS ROUGH.
PUT MY CLOTHES?
949
00:16:09,000 --> 00:16:10,000
Tom: YEAH, IT WAS A DISASTER.
Granddad: IN YOUR HOUSE!
LOOKING OUT FOR OTHERS.
950
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:11,000
SO MUCH FOR MAKING A MAN OUT
OF ME.
YOU KNOW I SOLD MY HOUSE TO
PAY FOR YOU.
951
00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:12,000
>> JUST BETWEEN US, MY BUSINESS
952
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:13,000
NAW, MAN.
Huey: NOT FOR LONG.
953
00:16:13,000 --> 00:16:15,000
ISN'T ENTIRELY LEGITIMATE.
TO JUST STAND UP AND WALK OUT,
THAT TOOK GUTS.
DEFIANT. I LIKES.
954
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000
>> Granddad: NO!
Tom: ALL I ENDED UP LEARNING
IS MY WIFE LIKES YOU BETTER.
I USED MY PANTYHOSE AS
TOURNIQUETS FOR THE TROOPS.
955
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,000
DEBT.
956
00:16:18,000 --> 00:16:19,000
PROMISED HER MORE, GRANDDAD.
957
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:20,000
YOUR WIFE DOESN'T LIKE ME
BETTER.
HUH.
BOY?
958
00:16:20,000 --> 00:16:21,000
>> Granddad: FINE.
ALL THESE OTHER FOLKS?
YOU GUYS ARE BOTH JUST BORING
AS
959
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:22,000
WE'LL MAKE IT.
OH, I HAVE.
960
00:16:22,000 --> 00:16:23,000
YOU'RE ROLLING WITH ME TONIGHT.
HA! THOSE MEDALS -- EVEN GOT ONE
FROM THE VICE PRESIDENTE AFTER
961
00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:24,000
WE'LL MAKE IT, NIGGA.
962
00:16:24,000 --> 00:16:25,000
I'M TAKING YOU TO MAN CAMP.
WHAT ARE WE GOING TO DO?
963
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:26,000
THIS HOUSE WHO KNOWS CHEMISTRY?
I'M JUST TRYING TO HELP.
BUT I DON'T HANG WITH NO
NEGATIVE-ENERGY-SUCKING
964
00:16:26,000 --> 00:16:27,000
WORLD WAR II.
Granddad: UH...
965
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:28,000
SO GATHER UP SOME
POSITIVITY IN THIS BITCH RIGHT
966
00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:29,000
SURE. Y-YEAH.
YEP, HE GAVE ME A MEDAL AND SOME
SMOKES.
967
00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:30,000
I GOT A LITTLE OF THE STUFF
968
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:31,000
QUICK AND LET'S ROLL OUT.
Huey: HOW CAN YOU LIVE WITH
YOURSELF?
969
00:16:31,000 --> 00:16:32,000
Tom: OKAY! I CAN BE POSITIVE.
HOW MUCH MONEY DOES IT TAKE FOR
SOMEONE TO LOSE THEIR
SORRY, THERE, FREEDOM
FELLERS -- TIME AND A HALF JUST
970
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:33,000
THAT ALWAYS WORKS ON TV.
971
00:16:33,000 --> 00:16:34,000
I'M NOT A LOSER.
YOU'RE JUST SILLY-ACTING.
972
00:16:34,000 --> 00:16:35,000
I'LL MAKE IT MYSELF.
I CAN...GET STUFF...HAPPENING,
AND I GOT STUFF GOING ON!
Huey: WELL, WHO DO YOU
973
00:16:35,000 --> 00:16:36,000
HOW HARD COULD IT BE?
Granddad: WELL, IT'S BEEN
REAL -- HOPE YOU REACH THE
974
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,000
MAYBE...MILLION, AT LEAST?
975
00:16:37,000 --> 00:16:38,000
>> Riley: ANALYZED, NIGGA.
DAMN. YOU'RE A DOWNER.
976
00:16:38,000 --> 00:16:39,000
THE STRUGGLE NEEDS YOU,
ROBERT.
Granddad: EDDIE, I'M SORRY.
977
00:16:39,000 --> 00:16:40,000
I TAUGHT THEM.
978
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,000
THINGS COULD BE WORSE.
IT'S GOOD MANNERS.
979
00:16:41,000 --> 00:16:42,000
DON'T YOU HAVE VISITORS?
I COULD BE THAT GUY.
980
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,000
THINK, EDDIE, THINK.
Huey: RILEY'S TALKING IN HIS
SLEEP.
EH, NO ONE CARES ABOUT AN OLD
BROKE LADY.
981
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:44,000
THE INGREDIENTS, YOU MIX THAT
982
00:16:44,000 --> 00:16:45,000
Riley: I'M JUST READING.
983
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:46,000
FIND ME A WAY TO GET ROBERT THAT
MONEY.
TRICK-ASS NEW GRANDMA TOLD ME
TO.
PLUS, THERE'S SOME CELEBRITY IN
HERE.
984
00:16:46,000 --> 00:16:47,000
UP THE WHOLE HOUSE WITH US IN
985
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:48,000
Granddad: YOU KNOW THAT'S
KIDNAPPING, RIGHT?
IT'S IMPOSSIBLE, SIR.
986
00:16:48,000 --> 00:16:49,000
>> Granddad: WUNCLER OWNS THIS
THEY SAY SHE'S GOT THE WHOLE
FLOOR LOCKED DOWN.
987
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:50,000
THEIR CREDIT IS...PISS-POOR,
SIR.
HAPPY BECAUSE HE HAS A NICE
OFFICE AND GETS CNN SOUND BITES.
988
00:16:50,000 --> 00:16:51,000
Granddad: ENOUGH.
I CAN'T EVEN GET A NURSE TO
CHANGE MY DIAPER.
989
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:52,000
NO!
GET YOUR ASSES IN BED.
990
00:16:52,000 --> 00:16:53,000
>> Granddad: YOU CAN HELP ME DO
Huey: I'M GONNA HAVE TO PASS.
991
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:54,000
THIS MAN IS A CUSTOMER.
I DO WHAT THE HELL I WANT."
992
00:16:54,000 --> 00:16:55,000
YOU GOT RILEY READING?
993
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:56,000
HE IS A DEAR FAMILY FRIEND.
I AIN'T HUNGRY NOW.
994
00:16:56,000 --> 00:16:57,000
WHOO!
HE IS A WAR HERO -- A
CIVIL-RIGHTS LEGEND!
995
00:16:57,000 --> 00:16:58,000
THAT MUST HAVE TAKEN A BEATING
AND A HALF.
996
00:16:58,000 --> 00:16:59,000
RUCKUS!
997
00:16:59,000 --> 00:17:00,000
WE MUST FIND A WAY TO HELP HIM!
Ruckus: HOW DARE YOU GO
DARKENING MR. WUNCLER'S THOUGHTS
998
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,000
>> Huey: YOU TWO HAVE TO FOLLOW
NO!
999
00:17:01,000 --> 00:17:02,000
MY INSTRUCTIONS EXACTLY.
NO! I WANT OFF THE BUS!
1000
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,000
WITH YOUR NIGGA LOGIC!
WELL, THERE IS ONE WAY.
1001
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,000
OKAY, I THREATENED TO BEAT
HIM -- THE WAY MY MOM DID.
1002
00:17:04,000 --> 00:17:05,000
WELCOME.
THINKING OF YOURSELF LAST.
1003
00:17:05,000 --> 00:17:06,000
I SEE YOU.
1004
00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:07,000
MAYBE YOU AIN'T SO GAY AFTER
SO, WITH A BOMB ON THE BUS
AND STURDY BASICALLY HOLDING
1005
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:08,000
Tom: OH, WHAT THE HECK.
1006
00:17:08,000 --> 00:17:09,000
IT'S MAN CAMP.
>> Huey: AND WE CAN'T DO ITR
1007
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,000
AT WUNCLER BANKING, WE DO
BELIEVE IN OFFERING QUALITY
Granddad: FIRST PLAN -- YOU
KEEP HER ALIVE LONG ENOUGH TO
1008
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:11,000
BANKING SERVICES TO THOSE WITH
DAMAGED CREDIT.
SIGHT THAT COULD BE USED TO BEAT
THAT ASS.
1009
00:17:11,000 --> 00:17:12,000
NOBODY WILL FIND IT.
1010
00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:13,000
MAKE SURE WE IN THE WILL.
Granddad: A LOAN! YES!
1011
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:14,000
PLAN "B" -- SHE DIES, YOU BREAK
OUT THE TAPE AND PITCH THE SHOW.
1012
00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,000
VERY SLOWLY.
I'LL TAKE IT!
1013
00:17:15,000 --> 00:17:16,000
COULDN'T YOU HAVE GOTTEN
HEY, WHAT MOVIE THIS REMIND
YOU OF?
1014
00:17:16,000 --> 00:17:17,000
DONE!
WE THREATEN TO GO PUBLIC AND
SHOW AMERICA WE'RE THE ONLY ONES
1015
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:18,000
CONGRATULATIONS!
1016
00:17:18,000 --> 00:17:19,000
I BELIEVE IN YOU, ROBERT.
ALL I KNOW IS THEY KEPT SINGING
THAT SAME DAMN SONG OVER AND
1017
00:17:19,000 --> 00:17:20,000
WE'RE COOKING HAIR RELAXER.
1018
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,000
Granddad: $200?
I BELIEVE IN THE FREEMAN FAMILY!
1019
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:22,000
>> Huey: YEAH. IT'LL WORK.
MM-HMM.
1020
00:17:22,000 --> 00:17:23,000
>> Granddad: ALL RIGHT.
AIN'T GONNA LET
NOBODY TURN ME AROUND
1021
00:17:23,000 --> 00:17:24,000
FREEMAN FAMILY! FREEMAN FAMILY!
1022
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:25,000
>> Riley: WHOA!
UH-HUH.
1023
00:17:25,000 --> 00:17:26,000
WHOA, WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
1024
00:17:26,000 --> 00:17:27,000
HOLD ON, HOLD ON, HOLD ON.
TELL IT, BROTHER!
1025
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:28,000
WHAT YOU DOING?
1026
00:17:28,000 --> 00:17:29,000
>> Granddad: I CAN'T HAVE MY
Tom: HEY, THIS IS THE
BUY-N-FLY THAT FLIZZY ROBBED.
1027
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000
STUFF.
YOU MAKE A MEAN
SWEET-POTATO PIE.
1028
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:31,000
>> Riley: YES, YOU CAN.
1029
00:17:31,000 --> 00:17:32,000
FUNNY.
PORCELAIN GODDESS FEELS THE NEED
TO PUMP UP HER BEAUTIFUL
1030
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:33,000
Granddad: THAT WENT WELL.
YOU'RE SMART.
1031
00:17:33,000 --> 00:17:34,000
Huey: DID YOU CHECK THE
INTEREST RATE?
MISSISSIPPI STATE LINE, WE SAW A
BLACK CAR ON THE SIDE OF THE
1032
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:35,000
I CAN'T EVEN BUY THE RIGHT
HOOKER.
1033
00:17:35,000 --> 00:17:36,000
Granddad: 150% INTEREST?!
IRONING-BOARD-FLAT ASS TO
AIRBAG-SIZED PROPORTIONS JUST TO
1034
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:37,000
LET'S GET TO IT.
ROAD, AND THERE WAS A GENTLEMAN
WAVING US DOWN.
1035
00:17:37,000 --> 00:17:38,000
Riley: WHAT'S THAT MEAN?
1036
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,000
Y'ALL KNOW I DON'T DO MATH.
THE AROMA OF ASS, IF YOU WILL.
1037
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,000
Tom: TYLENOL?
EXCUSES TO GET NAKED, HUEY?
PRESIDENT KENNEDY, WHO WAS
GREATLY EMBARRASSED BY THE
1038
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:41,000
IT'S GAY.
Riley: BUT I GUESS ALL I
REALLY WANT TO SAY IS...
1039
00:17:41,000 --> 00:17:42,000
IT WAS A RIP-OFF, AN EASY-CREDIT
RIP-OFF!
1040
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,000
EVEN WORSE, IT'S HOMOSEXUAL.
1041
00:17:43,000 --> 00:17:44,000
UP, AND I'M
READY TO DO THIS!
1042
00:17:44,000 --> 00:17:45,000
IT.
NIGGA ATHLETE.
1043
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:46,000
AMEN.
Granddad: HUH?
1044
00:17:46,000 --> 00:17:47,000
THE RIDERS BEFORE THEY GOT TO
MISSISSIPPI.
1045
00:17:47,000 --> 00:17:48,000
YEAH!
1046
00:17:48,000 --> 00:17:49,000
AW, YEAH, LITTLE MAN!
I'M HERE TO TELL YOU TO TURN
BACK.
I'M TELLING YOU, WE'VE
1047
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,000
RUCKUS, WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU
DOING HERE?!
1048
00:17:51,000 --> 00:17:52,000
WATCHED THIS THING A MILLION
TIMES.
THIS MAN INFORMED THEM THAT
THERE WAS A VIRTUAL ARMY OF
1049
00:17:52,000 --> 00:17:53,000
OW! OW! OW!
IF WE DIDN'T MEET THIS WAY --
SO WHAT, WE MET THIS WAY?
1050
00:17:53,000 --> 00:17:54,000
WE KNOW THAT'S FLIZZY.
1051
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:55,000
CASE CLOSED.
WORD 'ROUND THE STREET IS THAT
YOU LIVING A SERIOUS NIGGA
1052
00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:56,000
LET'S THROW CAUTION TO THE WIND
AND BE A REAL COUPLE -- NO
1053
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,000
HA HA HA! YEAH!
1054
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,000
THANKS FOR THE WARNING, SIR.
1055
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,000
PAY-PER-DATES!
1056
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000
Granddad: I'M UNDER A 2-YEAR
PIMP-HO CONTRACT.
1057
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,000
Granddad:
1058
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:02,000
Ruckus: STEP RIGHT UP.
THE ESCORT SERVICE IS RUN BY
PIMPS?
1059
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,000
NO.
STEP RIGHT UP AND TAKE YOUR
CHANCE TO BREAK THE ANGRY NIGGER
1060
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,000
WE'RE GOING TO MISSISSIPPI.
WELL, AT LEAST WE'RE NOT
SANGIN'
1061
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,000
WHAT ARE THEY -- LIKE, HUGE,
SCARY GUYS?
SHE ARMENIAN, FROM THE HOME OF
THE GLORIOUS CAUCUS MOUNTAINS.
1062
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:06,000
CUT!
ARE YOU CRAZY?
1063
00:18:06,000 --> 00:18:07,000
THERE WAS A P.A. IN THE SHOT!
Granddad: YEAH, THEY ARE
SCARY.
1064
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:08,000
OKAY, OKAY.
1065
00:18:08,000 --> 00:18:09,000
RESET!
>> Huey: WELL, WHAT NOW?
AND HE'S HOLDING ME HOSTAGE.
1066
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:10,000
>> Granddad: NOW WE CALL
CAUCASUS. CAUCASIAN!
MAN, I'M GETTING SWEATY.
1067
00:18:10,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Huey: IT'S "HANGIN' IN THE
CHOW LINE," GRANDDAD.
SIR, YOU SHOULD KNOW THAT WE
ALL SIGNED OUR WILLS BEFORE WE
1068
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,000
PRETTY'S SWEATY.
1069
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:13,000
IS SOMEONE DEAF?
1070
00:18:13,000 --> 00:18:14,000
SHINE CHECK!
LEFT FOR THIS TRIP.
1071
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:15,000
THERE'LL BE ENOUGH FOR
EVERYBODY.
I PROMISE YOU, I'M WORTH BEING
BITCH-SLAPPED FOR.
1072
00:18:15,000 --> 00:18:16,000
CAN YOU THROW ME A LINE?
REVERSE HAPPEN ALL THE TIME.
1073
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,000
TRYING TO GET MY UNION CARD.
Ruckus: OH, IT JUST AIN'T
NATURAL, ROBERT.
1074
00:18:17,000 --> 00:18:18,000
FIND ANYTHING, COLUMBO?
SO IT'S ANOTHER STEP UP THE
HUMILIATION LADDER -- TAR AND
1075
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,000
IT AIN'T NATURAL.
1076
00:18:20,000 --> 00:18:21,000
Tom: UH, NOPE!
BATS, BOMBS, AND GUNS ARE ALL
THEY NEED TO SCARE US.
1077
00:18:21,000 --> 00:18:22,000
NOTHING.
1078
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:23,000
HOLD IT.
THANKS, JACK.
1079
00:18:23,000 --> 00:18:24,000
NOBODY WILL EVER FIND THIS.
Granddad: THAT'S ALL THEY
NEED TO SCARE ME!
1080
00:18:24,000 --> 00:18:25,000
NOT A CLITORIS' CHANCE IN AFRICA
WE'LL LET YOU OUT OF YOUR
1081
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,000
AND EVERYTHING YOU NEED IS RIGHT
1082
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:27,000
IT -- MOVING DAY.
NOW, ONCE LADIES START
CONTROLLING THE PURSE STRINGS,
1083
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,000
IN THERE, HUH?
BUT THE THREE OF US -- WE'RE
GOING ON.
1084
00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:29,000
AAAAAAAH!
1085
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,000
THINGS GET CRAZY!
Riley: SO, SO UNFORTUNATE
1086
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:31,000
I'M GONNA GIVE IT TO THEM.
I DON'T WANT TO GET BACK ON THE
BUS!
MRS. DuBOIS, DO YOU MIND IF
1087
00:18:31,000 --> 00:18:32,000
>> Granddad: AAH!
1088
00:18:32,000 --> 00:18:33,000
>> Riley: AW, MAN.
HELL, WE GOT A CAREER WOMAN
RIGHT NOW DOWN IN 232.
1089
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:34,000
WE DO A QUICK SOUND CHECK?
Granddad: AAAAAAAAAAAAH!
1090
00:18:34,000 --> 00:18:35,000
MY GOD, YOU KIDS ARE CRAZY.
Sarah: OF COURSE. GO AHEAD.
1091
00:18:35,000 --> 00:18:36,000
WH>> DON'T TAKE THIS PERSONAL,O
BITCH LOST HER CELLPHONE IN HER
OWN BODY FAT.
1092
00:18:36,000 --> 00:18:37,000
GUYS.
1093
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:38,000
I'M A BUSINESSWOMAN.
BUT BRAVE. SO BRAVE.
1094
00:18:38,000 --> 00:18:39,000
IT'S JUST BUSINESS.
MR. WUNCLER, YOU IS PURE GENIUS.
" ON
1, 2, 3 --
1095
00:18:39,000 --> 00:18:40,000
>> Riley: I'MA GET SHOT BY A GAY
NOW THAT I HOOKED YOU UP WITH
CAMERA-TIME, YOU BETTER
1096
00:18:40,000 --> 00:18:41,000
NO, YOU LISTEN TO
ME, YOU BROKE, BALD
1097
00:18:41,000 --> 00:18:42,000
DUDE.
1098
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:43,000
Sarah: WHOA, WHOA, WHOA!
NO!
1099
00:18:43,000 --> 00:18:44,000
HOLD ON!
>> Granddad: WHAT?
I WANT TO GO NORTH!
1100
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:45,000
AND IF YOU EVER HAVE A BABY
DIE IN YOUR ARMS, YOU'LL NOTICE
1101
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:46,000
>> THE FORMULA.
YOU, UH, CAN'T SING THAT AT
JAZMINE'S PARTY.
1102
00:18:46,000 --> 00:18:47,000
ABOUT
YOUR CHEMO!
1103
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:48,000
Granddad: OUT OF MY WAY,
1104
00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:49,000
YOU DON'T LIKE IT?
1105
00:18:49,000 --> 00:18:50,000
Sarah: NO! I LOVE THAT SONG.
A PEACE AND A CERTAIN SWEET
SMELL.
1106
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,000
A LOT, ACTUALLY.
1107
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:52,000
WITH SOMETHING.
>> MWAH!
LIKE BARTLETT PEARS, ALMOST.
1108
00:18:52,000 --> 00:18:53,000
DEAD!!
PUNK.
1109
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:54,000
Sarah: NO, NO.
1110
00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,000
OKAY. SEE YA.
ROOFTOPS, EVERYWHERE YOU CAN GET
'EM.
1111
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:56,000
HOW ABOUT "CAKE"?
I DON'T WANT TO BORE YOU.
1112
00:18:56,000 --> 00:18:57,000
SURE THING, MRS. DuBOIS.
1113
00:18:57,000 --> 00:19:00,000
I GUESS WHEN YOU GET TO BE MY
AGE, YOU JUST WANT A LITTLE
1114
00:19:00,000 --> 00:19:01,000
ATTENTION, THAT'S ALL.
THEY'RE MY LONELY, BITTER
GIRLFRIENDS.
Ruckus: HUH?
1115
00:19:01,000 --> 00:19:02,000
Ruckus: BRAVE WHITE MEN OF LAW ENFORCEMENT, YOU ARE THE
1116
00:19:02,000 --> 00:19:04,000
Granddad: OW, OW, OW!
1117
00:19:04,000 --> 00:19:05,000
WHOOPS.
WE'LL GET ONE FOR YOU.
LAST LINE OF DEFENSE FOR THE WHITE MAN'S ENTIRE GLORIOUS WAY
1118
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,000
SORRY, I WAS JUST CUTTIN' SOME,
UH, MEAT EARLIER.
1119
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:07,000
THE LOWER CLASS ARE HERE!
Granddad: I THOUGHT WE -- I
JUST GOT MY ASS KICKED FOR YOU!
1120
00:19:07,000 --> 00:19:08,000
WHAT'S UP, TIGER?
1121
00:19:08,000 --> 00:19:09,000
Tom: YOU FAKED THE ROBBERY.
1122
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:10,000
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?
OF LIFE.
1123
00:19:10,000 --> 00:19:11,000
THEY KNOW WE'RE A COUPLE.
Tom: I WATCHED THE
SURVEILLANCE TAPE, FLIZZY -- THE
1124
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:13,000
Huey: LET'S GO, RILEY.
THIS PLACE, THIS NEIGHBORHOOD,
WON'T BE THE SAME WITHOUT YOU
1125
00:19:13,000 --> 00:19:14,000
WHOLE TAPE.
Riley: I KNOW. DAMN.
1126
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:15,000
IRREVERSIBLE CHANGES.
I KNOW YOU STAGED THE ROBBERY.
1127
00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:16,000
ISN'T THERE ANYONE WHO CAN HELP
THIS MAN?
SHE GOT A NIGGA FEELING ALL
UNHUNGRY AND EMOTIONAL.
1128
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:17,000
YOU JUST COULDN'T LEAVE
ALONE, COULD YOU?
FIRST, THERE WILL BE INTEGRATED DINERS AND BATHROOMS AND THEN
1129
00:19:17,000 --> 00:19:18,000
Ruckus: YES, SIR, MR. KINDLY
BILLIONAIRE WHITE MAN.
1130
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:19,000
Tom: WHAT ELSE WAS FAKE?
Granddad: COME ON, SQUEEZE MY
HAND, BABY.
1131
00:19:19,000 --> 00:19:20,000
SCHOOLS.
1132
00:19:20,000 --> 00:19:21,000
WERE THE NICARAGUAN GUNS FAKE?
WHERE THEIR DADDY AT?
1133
00:19:21,000 --> 00:19:22,000
DID YOU REALLY EVEN BEAT
CHRISTIANNA?
I BET THAT NO-GOOD NIGGER
DROPPED THEM OFF WITH YOU AND
1134
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:23,000
OKAY, DON'T SQUEEZE MY HAND IF
YOU WANT ME TO BE THE SOLE
1135
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:24,000
DON'T YOU EVER QUESTION
WHETHER OR NOT I BEAT
ACADEMY AWARDS, NIGGERS PLAYING DOCTORS ON TELEVISION, AND
1136
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:25,000
NEVER LOOKED BACK, RIGHT?
1137
00:19:25,000 --> 00:19:26,000
CHRISTIANNA!
1138
00:19:26,000 --> 00:19:27,000
I WHUPPED THAT BITCH'S ASS!
EVENTUALLY, EVEN THE WHITE HOUSE WON'T BE WHITE.
1139
00:19:27,000 --> 00:19:28,000
GET BACK!
LOOK, IT'S FORMER
PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE AND THE
1140
00:19:28,000 --> 00:19:29,000
BUT THE NICKI MINAJ THING WAS
STAGED.
1141
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:30,000
>> Granddad: AAH!
GET BACK WHERE YOU BELONG!
WHITE MEN, YOU MUST STOP THIS BUS!
1142
00:19:30,000 --> 00:19:31,000
NEXT MAYOR OF WOODCREST,
UNCLE RUCKUS!
1143
00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:32,000
SHE AIN'T REALLY A CYBORG,
EITHER.
THIS GRAVY TRAIN IS A WRAP FOR
ALL OF US.
1144
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,000
SHE'S A NICE GIRL.
1145
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:34,000
You get in there and you do the
thing I'm talkin' about.
1146
00:19:34,000 --> 00:19:35,000
DAMN, TOM.
1147
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:36,000
WHY COULDN'T YOU JUST MIND YOUR
OWN BUSINESS?
ROBERT FREEMAN'S LIVING ROOM.
1148
00:19:36,000 --> 00:19:37,000
Tom: I'M YOUR ATTORNEY!
NOW SCRAM BEFORE SOMEONE SHOOTS
YOUR BLACK ASS BY MISTAKE.
1149
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:38,000
Ruckus:
1150
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:39,000
IF SHE LIVES, SHE'LL BE
DEFORMED.
1151
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:40,000
HE IS CRAZY!
1152
00:19:40,000 --> 00:19:41,000
'CAUSE I GOT TO STAY
RELEVANT! THAT'S WHY!
LIFE IS
THAT?
1153
00:19:41,000 --> 00:19:42,000
SUCKS RIGHT
NOW!
1154
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:43,000
Granddad: DAMN IT!
1155
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,000
Granddad: SLAVERY?!
1156
00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:46,000
YOU GOT TO ACT LIKE AN IDIOT
JUST TO STAY IN THEIR
TURN BACK.
1157
00:19:46,000 --> 00:19:47,000
FACES!
PLEASE, DON'T DO THIS.
1158
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:48,000
BUT IF I CAN STAY IN JUST THE
RIGHT AMOUNT OF TROUBLE, I'LL BE
1159
00:19:48,000 --> 00:19:49,000
>> Huey: GRANDDAD!
MY LADY IS NOT DYING UNTIL WE'VE
HAD A REAL BENEFITS TALK UP IN
1160
00:19:49,000 --> 00:19:50,000
I THINK ABOUT IT AS INVESTING IN
PEOPLE.
DIDN'T FORGET YOUR REQUEST.
1161
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,000
MY AUDIENCE IS WOMEN, TOM --
WOMEN.
1162
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,000
I INVEST IN YOU, YOU HELP ME.
Ruckus: OH! DID I HEAR A
NIGGA RAISING HIS VOICE IN THE
1163
00:19:53,000 --> 00:19:54,000
AND WOMEN HATE TO BE BORED.
1164
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,000
BEAUTIFUL WHITE WOMAN.
I.C.U.?
Riley: YEAH, WHAT WE GOT TO
DO IN RETURN?
1165
00:19:55,000 --> 00:19:56,000
Tom: LOOK, FLIZZY, I'M SORRY.
AAH! NO! AAH!
1166
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,000
IT BETTER NOT BE NOTHIN' GAY.
YOUR GOVERNMENT BENEFITS HAVE
EXPIRED!
1167
00:19:57,000 --> 00:19:58,000
I DON'T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS.
1168
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,000
NO.
1169
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:00,000
I DON'T LIVE IN YOUR WORLD.
Ruckus: THAT AIN'T POSSIBLE.
1170
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:01,000
I'M A SIMPLE GUY.
Granddad: IF YOU DON'T GET
YOUR DAMN HANDS OFF OF ME --
1171
00:20:01,000 --> 00:20:02,000
I JUST WANT TO DO MY JOB, TAKE
CARE OF MY FAMILY, AND I NEEDED
1172
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,000
>> Granddad: DON'T TURN OVER!
Huey: HEY, GUYS!
1173
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:04,000
TIME, AND, IN EXCHANGE...
1174
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,000
AAH!
SOME HELP TRYING TO GET MY WIFE
BACK.
1175
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,000
Granddad: PLEASE, PLEASE,
PLEASE, PLEASE.
NO, I JUST OWN 100% OF YOUR
TIME UNTIL THE DEBT IS PAID.
1176
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:07,000
REALLY SICK?
1177
00:20:07,000 --> 00:20:08,000
EVEN THE OLD ONES GONE WHITE
LIKE THEY'RE DAMN NBA PLAYERS OR
1178
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:09,000
WOW, THIS IS BORING.
1179
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:10,000
OH, YOU WANT YOUR WIFE BACK?
GOD WILL PROTECT US.
1180
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,000
SOMETHING.
I'LL GO SEE IF SHE'S HOT.
HOW ABOUT NOT INVITING A NIGGA
THAT'S RICHER THAN YOU AND
1181
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:12,000
SURE, IT IS.
1182
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:13,000
FOR EXAMPLE, LET'S SAY I COME BY
UNANNOUNCED, IN THE MIDDLE OF
1183
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,000
PRETTIER THAN YOU TO MEET YOUR
WIFE?
PLEASE!
1184
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,000
I INVESTED ALL MY
MONEY IN YOU.
1185
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,000
I MEAN, HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE,
NIGGA?
1186
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:18,000
Tom: WHAT?
HOW COULD I BE SO STUPID?
1187
00:20:18,000 --> 00:20:19,000
BUT I-I THOUGHT WE WERE --
THOUGHT WHAT, NIGGA?!
1188
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:20,000
COME ON, GIRL.
Granddad: I HEAR THE SAD-SONG
CUE.
1189
00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:21,000
I'M TIRED OF YOUR PUNK-ASS!
YOU CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT.
1190
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:22,000
WE'RE ALMOST THERE.
1191
00:20:22,000 --> 00:20:23,000
ROLL YOUR NECK AROUND AND
CUSS HIS ASS OUT.
FLIZZY, I THINK YOU SHOULD JUST
1192
00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:24,000
KEEP FIRING! KEEP FIRING!
1193
00:20:24,000 --> 00:20:25,000
IF YOU GUYS ARE MAD, YELL AT
ME.
1194
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,000
LEAVE.
1195
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:27,000
LEAVE?
1196
00:20:27,000 --> 00:20:28,000
I MIGHT AS WELL MOVE IN THIS
BITCH.
HOO, WE'RE IN CRISIS MODE.
1197
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,000
Granddad: I'LL TAKE IT!
Granddad: VANESSA, PLEASE
LISTEN TO ME!
1198
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:30,000
YOU ALREADY DONE GAVE ME YOUR
WIFE.
YOU LAZY NIGGA!
1199
00:20:30,000 --> 00:20:31,000
THIS IS MY HOUSE!
YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE AT THE CAR
1200
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:32,000
I THINK YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH
TALKING.
JAZMINE'S GONNA BE CALLING ME
DADDY FROM NOW ON.
1201
00:20:32,000 --> 00:20:33,000
YOI'M DOCKING YOU A FULL DAY'SAR
1202
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:34,000
IT'S LITERALLY SLAVERY!
YEAH. GO TALK TO BECKY.
1203
00:20:34,000 --> 00:20:35,000
Tom: NOW, THAT'S ENOUGH!
IT'S OKAY, GIRL.
1204
00:20:35,000 --> 00:20:36,000
OH, YOU MAD, TOM?
AB BLOOD?
1205
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:37,000
WHAT YOU GONNA DO?
AAH! IT'S NOT FAIR!
1206
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,000
YOU WANT TO HIT ME?
1207
00:20:38,000 --> 00:20:39,000
I CAN'T TAKE IT!
THE KARDASHIANS HAVE ALWAYS BEEN
O's.
1208
00:20:39,000 --> 00:20:41,000
FLIZZY, I'M WARNING YOU...
1209
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:42,000
THEY TOOK EVERYTHING!
I AM OUT OF HERE!
HIT ME, TOM.
1210
00:20:42,000 --> 00:20:43,000
THEY CAN'T GET AWAY WITH IT!
1211
00:20:43,000 --> 00:20:44,000
COME ON, HIT ME NOW!
1212
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,000
PROSTITUTION.
Tom: ALL RIGHT, YOU ASKED
FOR IT!
1213
00:20:45,000 --> 00:20:46,000
HOW MANY YEARS DO I HAVE LEFT,
ANYWAY?
I SOLD MY GOLD-PLATED HOO-HA
TO BAIL YOU OUT.
1214
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:47,000
I'VE BEEN FREE MY WHOLE LIFE,
AND WHAT HAS IT GOTTEN ME?
1215
00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,000
NO. YOU SEE, THE GENETICS --
DAMN! I GOT TO MAKE ONE QUICK
1216
00:20:49,000 --> 00:20:50,000
Sarah: TOM!
>> OH, MY HEAD.
1217
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:51,000
CALL TO MY SON'S FATHER.
AAH!
1218
00:20:51,000 --> 00:20:53,000
I'M TIRED OF LIVIN' IN THAT
GARAGE WITH YOU TWO SMELLY
ABOUT TO GET REAL.
1219
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:54,000
NIGGAS.
>> HOO-HOO. LET'S GO.
1220
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000
YOU'RE NOT TAKING MY FAMILY!
TO GIVE UP HIS BOSSES TO GET A
LESSER CHARGE.
1221
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:57,000
Sarah: TOM! OH, MY GOD!
KEYS?
1222
00:20:57,000 --> 00:20:58,000
AIN'T IT?
THIS IS A PROUD DAY -- THE DAY
1223
00:20:58,000 --> 00:20:59,000
TOM, STOP!
I JUST LOST MY JOB.
1224
00:20:59,000 --> 00:21:00,000
Ruckus: OH! I KNEW IT!
1225
00:21:00,000 --> 00:21:01,000
I KNEW IT!
1226
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:02,000
CITIZEN'S ARREST!
1227
00:21:02,000 --> 00:21:03,000
I'M MAKING A CITIZEN'S ARREST!
1228
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:04,000
Huey: GRANDDAD, LOOK -- SHE'S
MOVING HER HAND.
1229
00:21:04,000 --> 00:21:05,000
Ruckus: WATCH YOUR STEP,
MR. WUNCLER.
Tom:
1230
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:06,000
WATCH YOUR STEP!
WE BRING SLAVERY BACK TO
AMERICA.
1231
00:21:06,000 --> 00:21:07,000
THERE YOU GO. THERE YOU GO.
1232
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:08,000
Riley: NOW SHUT UP!
1233
00:21:08,000 --> 00:21:09,000
STOP SQUIRMING!
1234
00:21:09,000 --> 00:21:10,000
YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO REMAIN
SILENT!
Huey: FOR THE MOMENT, THE LITTLE GUY WON.
1235
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,000
LIKE EVERY OTHER BAD THING WE'VE
BEEN THROUGH, LET'S FORGET IT
1236
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,000
Sarah: OH!
1237
00:21:12,000 --> 00:21:13,000
BABY, ARE YOU OKAY?!
1238
00:21:13,000 --> 00:21:14,000
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU DID THAT.
HOLD IT RIGHT THERE.
1239
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000
YOU WERE A MANIAC!
1240
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:16,000
I HAVE NEVER SEEN YOU LIKE THAT.
1241
00:21:16,000 --> 00:21:17,000
Granddad: UH, GRANDDAD?
TRY TO MAKE A BUCK OFF OF THOSE AT THE BOTTOM?
WHITE MAN AND HIS WELL-RUN
FINANCIAL INSTITUTION.
1242
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:18,000
MY FAULT.
1243
00:21:18,000 --> 00:21:19,000
LET'S GO HOME.
OR MAYBE, JUST MAYBE THOSE AT THE BOTTOM WILL REALIZE THAT
1244
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:20,000
>> Granddad: BUT...WHAT ABOUT
1245
00:21:20,000 --> 00:21:21,000
I JUST WANT TO THANK
UNCLE RUCKUS FOR HIS
IF THEY ARE, YOU'LL BE BROUGHT
UP ON FEDERAL CHARGES.
1246
00:21:21,000 --> 00:21:22,000
THIS?
1247
00:21:22,000 --> 00:21:23,000
LEADERSHIP -- AND, OF COURSE, TO
ROBERT FREEMAN FOR HAVING THE
SOME OF THE PEOPLE THEY TRUST MAY NOT HAVE THEIR BEST
1248
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:24,000
Ruckus: ALL RIGHT, GET
MOVING, GET MOVING.
'CAUSE I'M NOT GOING ANYWHERE.
1249
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:25,000
DUMP THE BODIES.
1250
00:21:25,000 --> 00:21:26,000
INTERESTS AT HEART.
AVERT YOUR EYES, AVERT YOUR
EYES.
>> Granddad: NO. NO.
1251
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:27,000
Granddad: HEY, HOW 'BOUT MY
WHISTLE?
1252
00:21:27,000 --> 00:21:28,000
JUST A NIGGA GOING TO JAIL.
MISSISSIPPI, WE OBEY THE LAW.
1253
00:21:28,000 --> 00:21:29,000
Huey: YOU DID GREAT,
GRANDDAD.
NOTHING TO SEE HERE.
1254
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:30,000
SETTING.
1255
00:21:30,000 --> 00:21:31,000
NONE OF THIS IS OKAY.
1256
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:32,000
I ALMOST FORGOT -- I WON THE
BET.
1257
00:21:32,000 --> 00:21:33,000
Sarah: OH, HONEY, I'M SO
SORRY.
KIDS STUFF.
1258
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:34,000
YOU BOYS DESERVE BETTER THAN
I WAS SUCH A BITCH, AND YOU
DIDN'T DESERVE ANY OF THAT.
1259
00:21:34,000 --> 00:21:35,000
THIS.
1260
00:21:35,000 --> 00:21:36,000
OH, WE MADE A BET THAT I
COULDN'T GET YOU GUYS TO SIGN
Ruckus: BOY, YOU NIGGAS JUST
DON'T KNOW A GOOD THING WHEN YOU
1261
00:21:36,000 --> 00:21:37,000
Tom: YES.
1262
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:38,000
YES, YOU WERE A..."B."
1263
00:21:38,000 --> 00:21:39,000
SEE IT.
HE DIDN'T THINK I COULD DO IT.
1264
00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:40,000
HERE MR. WUNCLER, OUT OF THE
GOODNESS OF HIS HEART WAS GONNA
1265
00:21:40,000 --> 00:21:41,000
Sarah: PLEASE COME HOME.
1266
00:21:41,000 --> 00:21:42,000
PLEASE.
I HEARD AN NBA STAR MOVED IN
DOWN THE STREET.
1267
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:43,000
HERE YOU GO, BOSS.
EISENHOWER.
1268
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,000
HUH?
1269
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:45,000
I HAVE CAKE.
AND BACK THEN, IT WAS HARDER
WHEN YOU PUT OUT.
1270
00:21:45,000 --> 00:21:46,000
LET'S GET YOU UPSTAIRS.
REALLY?
1271
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:47,000
SYPHILIS COULD KILL YOU.
1272
00:21:47,000 --> 00:21:48,000
YOU READY FOR SOME SARAH CAKE?
1273
00:21:48,000 --> 00:21:49,000
THEY'RE ALWAYS LOOKING FOR GIRLS
LIKE ME.
1274
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:50,000
I'D BE DEAD LIKE FOUR TIMES
ALREADY.
1275
00:21:50,000 --> 00:21:51,000
Granddad: WHY?! WHY?! WHY?!
1276
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,000
NAUGHTY!
LAMAR ODOM, HERE I COME!
1277
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:53,000
Granddad: NOOOOO!!
GIRL, YOU ARE A NATURAL.
1278
00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:54,000
Tom:
1279
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:55,000
NOBODY TURN ME AROUND
1280
00:21:55,000 --> 00:21:56,000
>> Riley: I HOPE NOBODY SEE US
1281
00:21:56,000 --> 00:21:57,000
WALKING HOME WITH YOU IN YOUR
1282
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,000
UNDERWEAR.
1283
00:21:58,000 --> 00:22:00,000
OH, MY BACK!
Huey: FREEDOM.
1284
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:03,000
OH! I'M SORRY.
1285
00:22:03,000 --> 00:22:04,000
YEAH.
1286
00:22:20,000 --> 00:22:23,000
NO121103
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