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1
00:00:11,440 --> 00:00:14,079
Get rid of the gum,
Salamander.
2
00:00:15,160 --> 00:00:17,720
It's Salmander, no middle a.
3
00:00:18,240 --> 00:00:20,151
Get rid of the gum.
4
00:00:21,080 --> 00:00:24,231
Nicotine gum.
I've stopped smoking, so I
5
00:00:24,560 --> 00:00:25,993
Get rid of it now!
6
00:00:28,880 --> 00:00:29,869
Yes.
7
00:00:42,280 --> 00:00:43,599
And go on.
8
00:00:44,920 --> 00:00:49,311
Well, it was...
a regular Independence Day.
9
00:00:55,280 --> 00:00:56,474
Nice weather.
10
00:00:59,840 --> 00:01:01,831
No disturbances.
11
00:01:02,720 --> 00:01:04,631
Bought ice cream.
12
00:01:06,000 --> 00:01:08,639
Stopped some drunk grad girls.
13
00:01:09,240 --> 00:01:10,036
Are you drunk?
14
00:01:10,160 --> 00:01:11,718
Get to the point!
15
00:01:14,080 --> 00:01:15,069
Gunnar...
16
00:01:15,200 --> 00:01:15,996
Hm?
17
00:01:16,960 --> 00:01:18,075
My horse.
18
00:01:18,720 --> 00:01:19,835
He...
19
00:01:20,920 --> 00:01:22,831
behaved very weird.
20
00:01:23,560 --> 00:01:26,358
Gunnar. Gunnar.
Don't stare at me.
21
00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:28,633
He sprained his foot, and...
22
00:01:30,080 --> 00:01:31,069
And?
23
00:01:31,640 --> 00:01:32,914
Fell down.
24
00:01:38,920 --> 00:01:40,069
What the fuck?
25
00:01:41,720 --> 00:01:42,675
Gunnar.
26
00:01:43,720 --> 00:01:45,551
Not doing so good?
27
00:01:45,960 --> 00:01:49,714
Gunnar. It's Salmander.
Your daddy.
28
00:01:49,840 --> 00:01:51,671
I checked the manual.
29
00:01:51,800 --> 00:01:54,268
"Routines for hurt animals.
Assess condition."
30
00:01:54,400 --> 00:01:58,712
"If the animal is suffering,
it must be put down instantly."
31
00:01:59,240 --> 00:02:00,559
Put down, OK.
32
00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:01,749
Gunnar.
33
00:02:04,760 --> 00:02:06,079
Move away.
34
00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,391
I have to kill him.
35
00:02:20,480 --> 00:02:21,754
You shot the horse?
36
00:02:22,160 --> 00:02:24,037
-Gunnar.
-The horse!
37
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:27,673
I just tried to do the right thing.
38
00:02:31,680 --> 00:02:32,749
Gunnar?
39
00:02:42,200 --> 00:02:43,349
Hey! You!
40
00:02:44,120 --> 00:02:46,680
Take this.
And then buzz off.
41
00:02:58,280 --> 00:03:02,273
You shot the horse, beat it with a tuba,
and backed a car over it.
42
00:03:17,440 --> 00:03:18,873
TORTURED HORSE
43
00:03:19,000 --> 00:03:22,470
I know we asked you
to become more visible in the streets,
44
00:03:22,600 --> 00:03:24,955
but this isn't what we wanted.
45
00:03:27,000 --> 00:03:29,230
You know what's easiest to do?
46
00:03:29,800 --> 00:03:31,392
To say you're fired.
47
00:03:33,040 --> 00:03:35,076
So that's what I'm doing.
48
00:03:35,240 --> 00:03:37,595
You're fired, Salamander.
49
00:03:38,960 --> 00:03:41,952
I wish I could discharge you right now,
50
00:03:42,080 --> 00:03:47,677
but the new rules from 2001 says
everyone has the right to 3 month's notice.
51
00:03:47,920 --> 00:03:48,557
OK?
52
00:03:48,680 --> 00:03:52,639
As you're a walking PR disaster,
we cant keep you here,
53
00:03:52,760 --> 00:03:56,548
and you were accepted
via the Immigration Quota, so...
54
00:03:57,600 --> 00:03:59,511
Yes. Eh, anyway...
55
00:04:03,600 --> 00:04:04,669
Hellfjård?
56
00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:06,159
Hellfjord!
57
00:04:07,080 --> 00:04:08,638
What is Hellfjord?
58
00:04:08,760 --> 00:04:11,593
It's situated hellishly far up north.
59
00:04:12,120 --> 00:04:15,271
And you are to report in Hellfjord
60
00:04:15,400 --> 00:04:17,630
within 24 hours, Salamander.
61
00:04:17,760 --> 00:04:21,594
You'll be there for 3 months
as district sheriff.
62
00:04:21,720 --> 00:04:26,191
And then you're done,
and I'll never see you again.
63
00:04:28,520 --> 00:04:29,794
But...
64
00:04:30,320 --> 00:04:32,436
what if I do a good job there?
65
00:04:34,080 --> 00:04:35,798
That wont happen.
66
00:04:56,760 --> 00:04:57,954
Hello.
67
00:04:58,520 --> 00:05:00,829
-Hi.
-Howdy.
68
00:05:01,280 --> 00:05:04,078
You're Salamander?
69
00:05:04,440 --> 00:05:05,350
Yes.
70
00:05:07,840 --> 00:05:09,432
Salmander, no middle a.
71
00:05:14,960 --> 00:05:17,474
-Are you Norwegian?
-Yes.
72
00:05:19,080 --> 00:05:22,197
Here are my transfer papers from Oslo.
73
00:05:29,320 --> 00:05:31,197
No, leave 'em.
74
00:05:34,880 --> 00:05:37,713
Kristoffer Wegelius Tangstad.
75
00:05:37,840 --> 00:05:39,034
Salmander.
76
00:05:39,400 --> 00:05:41,789
You can just call me Kobba.
77
00:05:42,240 --> 00:05:44,629
Everyone I don't like does that.
78
00:05:51,360 --> 00:05:52,270
Sure.
79
00:05:53,160 --> 00:05:57,153
So this is where...
I'll be working for 3 months?
80
00:06:00,280 --> 00:06:01,395
No.
81
00:06:42,040 --> 00:06:42,916
Okay.
82
00:06:43,360 --> 00:06:46,193
Looks like we have a landlubber aboard.
83
00:06:46,320 --> 00:06:47,275
Eh?
84
00:06:47,560 --> 00:06:48,754
Where?
85
00:06:49,240 --> 00:06:50,229
Here?
86
00:06:54,480 --> 00:06:55,310
Oh!
87
00:06:56,200 --> 00:06:57,394
The sea!
88
00:06:58,480 --> 00:06:59,754
I like the sea.
89
00:07:00,360 --> 00:07:01,713
Southerner.
90
00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:03,233
What was that?
91
00:07:03,360 --> 00:07:05,590
You've got something here.
92
00:07:17,200 --> 00:07:18,474
What the fuck?
93
00:07:18,840 --> 00:07:20,193
What the fuck was that?
94
00:07:20,320 --> 00:07:24,552
Don't worry about it.
It's only Tulla.
95
00:07:25,160 --> 00:07:26,309
Tulla?
96
00:07:27,120 --> 00:07:29,076
Our sea serpent.
97
00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:31,158
Sea serpent, sure.
98
00:07:33,280 --> 00:07:36,955
Must give her a snack
when one journeys in her waters,
99
00:07:37,080 --> 00:07:39,435
or else she goes quite mad.
100
00:07:41,960 --> 00:07:45,873
For some reason
she's crazy about goat's head.
101
00:07:49,480 --> 00:07:51,596
Dinner is served!
102
00:07:57,640 --> 00:08:00,950
Looks like you're getting dessert too.
103
00:08:11,120 --> 00:08:13,236
SHERIFF'S OFFICE
104
00:08:19,240 --> 00:08:22,949
Well, here's the police office.
105
00:08:24,160 --> 00:08:27,436
You can see it says sheriff's office.
106
00:08:28,720 --> 00:08:29,994
On the sign.
107
00:08:45,760 --> 00:08:49,878
Those who've crunched the numbers,and know the figures,
108
00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:55,996
say that Hellfjord is the place in Norway
with most square meters per capita.
109
00:08:56,120 --> 00:08:58,031
-Yeah. Strange.
-Yes.
110
00:08:58,960 --> 00:09:01,713
Well, say hello to...
111
00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:03,990
Riina. My old lady.
112
00:09:04,840 --> 00:09:08,276
So greet Salmander, no middle a,
in a nice way.
113
00:09:08,400 --> 00:09:12,359
He's a celeb, killed a horse in Oslo,
was in the papers.
114
00:09:12,840 --> 00:09:13,750
Hi.
115
00:09:14,840 --> 00:09:18,674
-Nice to meet you.
-Shut the fuck up, speak Norwegian!
116
00:09:19,400 --> 00:09:21,311
Likewise.
117
00:09:23,600 --> 00:09:26,672
Run into the kitchen
and make some coffee.
118
00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:37,475
Mail order bride from Finland.
119
00:09:38,800 --> 00:09:40,916
Not too bad, Kobba.
120
00:09:41,040 --> 00:09:45,033
No, not at that price,
that wasn't too bad.
121
00:09:45,160 --> 00:09:47,993
Potato shortage in northern Finland.
122
00:09:49,400 --> 00:09:51,834
You surely know my situation.
123
00:09:52,200 --> 00:09:56,910
I think that if I do
a fantastic job up here,
124
00:09:58,080 --> 00:09:59,354
it might...
125
00:10:01,480 --> 00:10:03,152
Then it might...
126
00:10:04,080 --> 00:10:05,513
be that...
127
00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,513
I don't get fired by the boys in Oslo.
128
00:10:08,640 --> 00:10:11,438
-You don't say.
-That maybe I...
129
00:10:12,840 --> 00:10:15,957
can keep my job in the police.
130
00:10:17,240 --> 00:10:19,879
Can you brief me about Hellfjord?
131
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:23,035
Sure.
132
00:10:23,160 --> 00:10:26,311
As you know,Hellfjord is a fairly small place.
133
00:10:26,960 --> 00:10:29,758
The average age is 67 years,
134
00:10:29,880 --> 00:10:34,112
and we're the only village in Norwaywhere everyone smokes.
135
00:10:34,520 --> 00:10:38,638
We also have the highest numbers of COPD,
136
00:10:38,760 --> 00:10:41,752
but I don't see any connection.
137
00:10:42,560 --> 00:10:47,554
We've our own doctor, dentist,plumber, mailman,
138
00:10:47,680 --> 00:10:49,955
mechanic and chimney sweeper.
139
00:10:50,880 --> 00:10:52,677
His name's Roger.
140
00:10:53,200 --> 00:10:55,998
Got our own pub.Kjell's Kitchen.
141
00:10:57,080 --> 00:11:01,596
There you can watch nude ladies,get drunk, fuck and fight.
142
00:11:03,040 --> 00:11:06,828
Or just bring the familyto a nice Sunday dinner.
143
00:11:08,640 --> 00:11:14,476
Then we have the very life nerveof the area, the fish processing Hellfish.
144
00:11:14,600 --> 00:11:18,195
About 60 percent ofthe inhabitants work here,
145
00:11:18,400 --> 00:11:23,758
filleting, penetrating,cleaning and shipping the fish.
146
00:11:24,480 --> 00:11:28,155
It's being run by a Swedenamed Bosse Nova.
147
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:32,152
Very nice bloke.
148
00:11:33,120 --> 00:11:34,314
Bosse Nova?
149
00:11:35,800 --> 00:11:37,472
Wanna see my dick?
150
00:11:37,760 --> 00:11:38,636
Hm?
151
00:11:44,760 --> 00:11:45,954
Pardon?
152
00:11:51,720 --> 00:11:53,756
Wanna see your office?
153
00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:59,394
Sorry, I'm used to only me
and Riina being here.
154
00:12:00,280 --> 00:12:01,679
Office, sure.
155
00:12:01,920 --> 00:12:04,036
Here's what's important.
156
00:12:05,760 --> 00:12:07,876
There's only one rule.
157
00:12:08,960 --> 00:12:13,351
If you grab something
from the fridge, big or small,
158
00:12:14,240 --> 00:12:17,198
close the fridge afterwards.
159
00:12:23,360 --> 00:12:24,759
D'you hear that?
160
00:12:26,080 --> 00:12:31,438
Close the fridge!
161
00:12:32,520 --> 00:12:33,430
Yes.
162
00:12:50,320 --> 00:12:53,790
Better call it a day.
We fixed a room for you.
163
00:12:53,920 --> 00:12:56,150
-Big day tomorrow.
-Good.
164
00:12:56,400 --> 00:13:01,793
Both the village mayor and journalist
want to speak with you.
165
00:13:03,440 --> 00:13:04,839
The celeb.
166
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:07,798
Doesn't get dark during this season.
167
00:13:07,920 --> 00:13:13,040
I had the old lady put up some drapes
so you'll get your beauty sleep.
168
00:13:13,360 --> 00:13:18,434
And there's plenty asbestos in the walls,
so don't worry about
169
00:13:18,920 --> 00:13:20,751
keeping arm.
170
00:13:21,760 --> 00:13:23,398
Go to sleep.
171
00:13:32,360 --> 00:13:34,874
Wash that dirty mug of yours.
172
00:14:23,840 --> 00:14:25,068
Gunnar.
173
00:14:28,160 --> 00:14:30,037
You are fired.
174
00:14:31,080 --> 00:14:36,279
Did you know that Hellfjordis the best place in the world?
175
00:14:38,600 --> 00:14:41,831
Wanna see my dick?
176
00:14:42,600 --> 00:14:45,353
My dick.
177
00:14:56,120 --> 00:14:56,836
Evening.
178
00:14:58,840 --> 00:15:00,671
So you're awake, too?
179
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:02,709
Yes.
180
00:15:03,240 --> 00:15:06,437
Yeah.
Try getting some sleep, then.
181
00:15:08,040 --> 00:15:08,870
Sure.
182
00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,478
Will you just be...
183
00:15:18,600 --> 00:15:19,794
standing there?
184
00:15:20,520 --> 00:15:21,919
Yes, please.
185
00:15:24,200 --> 00:15:25,155
Yes.
186
00:16:08,400 --> 00:16:10,516
Mr. Hellfjord, I presume?
187
00:16:11,960 --> 00:16:15,191
Fuck you!
Why? That's why!
188
00:16:25,520 --> 00:16:29,274
You screaming and yelling,
it's not... You!
189
00:16:32,680 --> 00:16:38,676
We can't have that screaming and yelling
and scratching every time we're in bed.
190
00:16:38,800 --> 00:16:40,950
It ain't that fucking good.
191
00:16:42,960 --> 00:16:44,598
-Grrr!
-No...
192
00:16:45,160 --> 00:16:47,071
Go away! Get out!
193
00:16:47,200 --> 00:16:49,794
Mene pois! Mene pois!
194
00:16:51,760 --> 00:16:52,909
Morning.
195
00:16:55,600 --> 00:16:58,398
-Sit there!
-Are we off?
196
00:16:58,520 --> 00:17:02,035
-We're meeting the journalist and all.
-Yes.
197
00:17:03,240 --> 00:17:09,110
Don't be disappointed if the locals
won't welcome you with open arms.
198
00:17:09,680 --> 00:17:12,831
They're skeptical to new people,
to put it like that.
199
00:17:21,080 --> 00:17:22,672
I've fucked her.
200
00:17:22,920 --> 00:17:24,035
Sick.
201
00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,200
-Tight.
-No, sick.
202
00:17:34,160 --> 00:17:35,354
OK, folks.
203
00:17:35,680 --> 00:17:42,358
Bureaucrats don south decided tosend a policeman to us up here
204
00:17:42,840 --> 00:17:44,876
in our remote corner.
205
00:17:45,200 --> 00:17:50,797
Well, we know we don't needa district sheriff up here, but
206
00:17:50,960 --> 00:17:54,873
as they have sent him,we'll receive him well.
207
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,319
Won't we?
208
00:18:02,480 --> 00:18:08,032
Well, let me introduce our new citizen,
eh, district sheriff.
209
00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:10,356
Salamander.
210
00:18:10,480 --> 00:18:12,311
-Salmander.
-Yes.
211
00:18:16,280 --> 00:18:20,910
I hear your mayor saysyou don't need a sheriff up here.
212
00:18:21,520 --> 00:18:24,796
I disagree completely with that.
213
00:18:25,080 --> 00:18:30,677
I think every shitty hick town in Norway,big or small, needs a sheriff.
214
00:18:31,160 --> 00:18:34,550
Because it's one thing I've learned.
215
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,797
No matter how small a hick town is,
216
00:18:40,680 --> 00:18:43,240
something's seething beneath the surface.
217
00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:48,030
So the only thing left to say, s
218
00:18:48,320 --> 00:18:50,675
thanks for coming.
219
00:18:52,160 --> 00:18:56,756
And don't hesitate to get in touchif you need anything.
220
00:18:56,880 --> 00:18:59,997
That's why I'm here.Thanks for the attention.
221
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,470
Yes, that went well.
222
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:18,592
-Hi. Johanne.
-No, Salmander.
223
00:19:20,240 --> 00:19:22,674
-You're the journalist?
-Yes.
224
00:19:22,800 --> 00:19:25,268
Saw it in how you asked questions.
225
00:19:27,920 --> 00:19:31,276
-Haven't asked any questions.
-Policeman.
226
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:34,388
Total control.
227
00:19:38,320 --> 00:19:41,676
-Yes?
-Could we have a coffee and talk?
228
00:19:41,800 --> 00:19:43,711
To the point. I like it.
229
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,550
You're good. Thorough.
230
00:20:00,000 --> 00:20:02,753
How do you find Hellfjord so far?
231
00:20:03,520 --> 00:20:06,671
Hellfjord?
I find it...
232
00:20:09,160 --> 00:20:12,630
People here are very...
easy going.
233
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:15,991
Write that. Easy going.
234
00:20:17,040 --> 00:20:19,508
Good living conditions.
235
00:20:19,720 --> 00:20:21,438
It is...
236
00:20:21,920 --> 00:20:22,909
sunny.
237
00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:26,277
Sun's shining all the...
all the time.
238
00:20:26,760 --> 00:20:28,034
Which is good.
239
00:20:28,880 --> 00:20:30,791
I'm happy to be here.
240
00:20:32,400 --> 00:20:36,518
I have to say it at once.
Something's going on here.
241
00:20:37,000 --> 00:20:38,149
In here?
242
00:20:38,320 --> 00:20:43,235
Yes. Don't know if it's right here,
but elsewhere with people.
243
00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:48,435
Well, that's the yokels' thing,
Northern Norway?
244
00:20:48,560 --> 00:20:53,076
No, not that. Something strange,
haven't you noticed?
245
00:20:54,280 --> 00:20:55,508
Hi.
246
00:20:56,640 --> 00:20:57,675
And hi!
247
00:20:58,280 --> 00:21:01,556
OK, so here sits our new...
248
00:21:02,400 --> 00:21:03,992
policeman.
249
00:21:04,400 --> 00:21:07,790
Nice speech you gave earlier.
It feels...
250
00:21:07,920 --> 00:21:10,275
It feels... safe.
251
00:21:11,920 --> 00:21:13,114
That's good.
252
00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:20,037
And you sitting here with
our own little nosy parker.
253
00:21:20,160 --> 00:21:24,790
Fantastic story you wrote
about that cat in the tree.
254
00:21:25,480 --> 00:21:26,230
Yes.
255
00:21:27,920 --> 00:21:30,593
-Cheers!
-I don't drink when on duty.
256
00:21:31,320 --> 00:21:33,595
Bullshit. A welcome toast.
257
00:21:33,720 --> 00:21:35,358
-Yes.
-Cheers!
258
00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,436
-Yes!
-Yes!
259
00:21:42,000 --> 00:21:47,028
Sorry, I forgot to introduce myself.
Bosse Nova, head of the fishery.
260
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,789
-Sure, the fish processing.
-Yes, exactly.
261
00:21:51,200 --> 00:21:54,715
If your job goes to hell,
you can fillet fish.
262
00:21:54,840 --> 00:21:55,875
Yeah.
263
00:21:56,560 --> 00:21:59,950
You see, in Hellfjord we...
264
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:04,233
hold together,
help each other.
265
00:22:05,440 --> 00:22:09,433
So if you get a problem,
anything at all,
266
00:22:09,560 --> 00:22:11,551
just come see me.
267
00:22:12,680 --> 00:22:13,510
OK?
268
00:22:16,120 --> 00:22:20,079
I knew it.
You're smart, got it right away.
269
00:22:21,880 --> 00:22:25,350
Good.
We'll meet at Hellquiz on Friday.
270
00:22:25,480 --> 00:22:29,029
And now you wont win,
cause I've practiced.
271
00:22:29,200 --> 00:22:32,749
How can you know all
about photosynthesis?
272
00:22:34,920 --> 00:22:36,319
-Bye, bye.
-Bye.
273
00:22:36,880 --> 00:22:39,440
-Killevippen.
-Killevippen.
274
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:44,594
Nice guy.
Write that.
275
00:22:45,360 --> 00:22:46,429
Nice guy.
276
00:22:53,520 --> 00:22:55,158
Is that a cow?
277
00:23:01,600 --> 00:23:02,715
It's nice.
278
00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:06,710
If that's it, I'd like to go.
279
00:23:07,520 --> 00:23:09,351
Got some work to do.
280
00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:11,315
OK.
281
00:24:24,000 --> 00:24:26,719
Seen a piece of my Eiffel Tower?
282
00:24:32,520 --> 00:24:34,476
No, I haven't seen that.
283
00:24:35,520 --> 00:24:40,275
Didn't come here to help with
your puzzle or goddamn fridge.
284
00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:43,958
I'm here to do police work.
285
00:24:44,080 --> 00:24:48,551
Shoot people,
solve murder mysteries, rape.
286
00:24:49,120 --> 00:24:51,076
We're police, Kobba.
287
00:24:52,440 --> 00:24:54,032
I am, at least.
288
00:24:58,840 --> 00:24:59,909
There it is.
289
00:25:05,000 --> 00:25:07,150
Isn't there anything I can do?
290
00:25:09,880 --> 00:25:11,632
Do you surf for porn?
291
00:25:15,480 --> 00:25:19,393
Dendrophilia.
292
00:25:24,560 --> 00:25:26,710
They have sex with trees.
293
00:25:31,760 --> 00:25:33,512
Will he get splinters?
294
00:25:54,800 --> 00:25:58,679
Can you do these
while you're sitting here anyway?
295
00:26:09,360 --> 00:26:13,148
Don't remember putting baloney
on my sandwich.
296
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:30,993
Be nice if you could rub Riinas silverware
while you're sitting there.
297
00:26:38,200 --> 00:26:39,633
I have to poop.
298
00:27:11,360 --> 00:27:14,432
-How can I help?
-Things are not here!
299
00:27:15,040 --> 00:27:19,556
-No? Where are you?
-Things here are not what they seem.
300
00:27:19,920 --> 00:27:22,957
I have to talk to you.
Come to the fishery.
301
00:27:23,080 --> 00:27:25,833
-Come now to Hellfish.
-Hello?
302
00:27:29,160 --> 00:27:30,195
Hello?
303
00:29:00,680 --> 00:29:01,556
Hello?
19576
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