Original subtitles

It was midday when I got a message

from mom saying that Da, uh, had a really bad seizure

and that something was really wrong,

and that we needed to be there.

When, uh, when we arrived, uh,

the paramedics were there.

And then, Da was on the floor.

And they were trying to resuscitate him

and keep his heart going.

It was just a waiting game for a while.

And then, the decision to bring in a helicopter

came in and that's when...

I guess, we thought it would be okay.

When the helicopter came, they assessed it,

and it was too bad to take him in the helicopter.

They couldn't continue to do CPR on him

and take him somewhere,

because his heart wouldn't be on his own.

And so, they told us while he was still alive

that we should say our goodbyes.

One of the last times he was actually conscious,

I put my hand on his cheek like this

and he just leaned his head in.

He smiled and he said I love you.

And closed his eyes

and just leaned his head into my hand.

And when he leaned back down

and I pulled the curtain back,

and there were little flakes of snow falling,

and from there, you could look up and see the mountain.

I told him, look, Da,

do you see the mountain up there?

It's covered in snow.

And he looked out

and he kinda got a peaceful look.

And I think, that's when his spirit left.

So, we lost Da.

My family and I, we've always believed what the Bible says,

that everybody has their time, that when they pass away,

that God just takes them home.

So, I know that Da is up in heaven now and he's, uh,

building a ranch up there, you know,

trying to get it as nice as he can

for when mom and everybody else comes up, too.

And, uh, you can bet

that he's definitely watching over us.

He was my best friend, uh, my mentor, uh, my hero.

We got a lot in front of us. We got a lot to do.

And you all know as well as I do,

he's gonna drop a rock on us tomorrow, probably.

But, you know, faith in God, it works.

I just want you all to carry that all the time.

Not a day went by that I wasn't by his side.

He was everything to me.

I just miss him.

Time is not promised. Tomorrow is not a given.

We all knew that... that this day would come

but you can't prepare for it.

Every time we would go anywhere,

you know, you say bye, you say I love you, you say more,

because you never know when it's gonna be the last time.

And the last time is never the time

that you would want it to be.

He and I had, like, this magic together.

Like, it didn't matter what Da and I were doing.

Uh, we just always had the best of times.

- You're not nervous, are you? - No.

Oh, my gosh. I've never seen you this nervous.

Me?

- Of course not. - My goodness, bro.

Da is the main reason that I am like I am.

Of course.

He leaves a lot of grief in his wake.

But there are also good things.

You just have to focus on those.

And that's what I would say to anybody

going through the same thing.

And what I'll tell my kids is the same thing Da told me.

You... you don't let their memory be a bad thing.

The last couple of days have been really hard.

Uh, it's hard to keep composure,

and one of the only ways that I can do that

is through working out.

I'm glad that he's not in pain anymore

but this is definitely the hardest thing

I've ever been through.

Da was my guardian angel.

He was my... my biggest supporter.

You did good. Nothing to it.

Oh, please.

He just... He taught me through life

and through his love of life.

I hope to one day be a sliver

of as wonderful as he was.

You know, I'm just trying to do things

that make me not think, really,

you know, about much or that make me angry.

I've just... I've gotten so sad

that I've gotten mad.

You would think with how much snow there is,

it's like good snowman weather.

No, this is very dry snow.

So, I'm trying to get it around the fire

because it's nice and moist.

Uh, it's harder to make it actually stick.

I think Da knew for a while

that he wasn't gonna be here very long.

He actually told me before last Christmas

that he... he knows he's not gonna make it to the next one.

Because he told me a lot that when he does go,

he wanted us all to be together

still doing what we all wanted to do with the ranch

and living the way we wanna be,

which is why he wanted the cattle

and he wanted the big house for mom.

And he wanted me to go to Alaska,

because he knew how much it meant to me.

We could actually use their help here.

We're good here. Don't worry about it.

- No. - We... we... We'll be okay.

It is really good for all of you to be honest, kinda reboot.

You know, Da definitely taught me a lot of things.

Uh, I think, the most meaningful

is he would always put me in situations

and believe in me when I didn't believe in myself.

Look, I don't want any fussing and all of that,

you know, we just need to go do this job and get it done.

So, you know, I want you all

to just take your lead from her.

- Me? - Yeah.

You're great at it, Bird, I mean, you know,

everybody starts to argue and stuff,

and you get in the middle of it,

and they'll listen to you.

Da and I were always very similar,

and so I am glad that he passed down

the love of the bush, and the love of animals,

and the love of our lifestyle, and the dream.

I know what Da would want,

is for us to not be sad and to go on.

But honestly, going for it seems impossible,

because every day seems like a nightmare

that I can't wake up from.

Or hell.

Coming up.

How are you all hanging? Anyone sleeping very good?

We've had Da in our ears,

kind of, following his vision.

We need him to be able to tell us what we need to do.

Are we ready?

Yeah, I think so.

Are you ready, mom?

As ready as I'll ever be.

After the passing of their family patriarch,

mother Ami and her children journey to the nearby town

of Oroville to set Billy's funeral arrangements.

He'll never go away. Now he and Cuppy,

they're all together.

After everyone sees him and he's about to go in,

I would like to keep Fu Manchu moustache.

And I would like to see him put into the final,

uh, cremation act, kinda like a Viking burial type of thing.

Of course.

I think it's over here.

I might hang out here.

- I'm just gonna hang out here. - Okay.

Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Well, for me, it's sometimes important to be off by myself,

to process things, especially when it's stuff

that's, like, uh, really, really hard.

Da was always there for me no matter what,

you know, even if I messed something up,

Da was always, always there, uh,

always knew just want to say.

I would definitely like to be like that for my son as well.

To be honest, part of me is afraid

that I won't be able to live up

to be as good of a dad as my dad was.

That's one of my main concerns,

would only hope that River would look at me

the same that I look at as... as my dad.

Everybody, yeah, deals with this sort of thing,

definitely, and we've never experienced the loss,

uh, quite so great before.

The next morning,

hours before the funeral service,

the Brown siblings worry for eldest brother Bam.

- Uh, no. He's been, like, MIA.

He just called to make sure that everyone was okay,

and just said that he just can't be

around everyone right now.

You know, Bam seems to be taking Da's passing

very, very difficult.

We are all but Bam can't even come to the house.

I'm definitely worried, because I feel like

he needs to not just shut everybody out.

He needs to let everybody in.

I understand needing some space to an extent

just to feel how you're feeling

without everybody else.

But I feel, like... like, it's not...

Bam shouldn't just be out there by himself.

I feel, like, he wants to be that strong older brother.

None of us are that are right now.

I couldn't say for sure why Bam is isolating himself

like he is and having such a difficult time.

But my mind does go to he probably just regrets a lot.

You know, he's very gruff

a lot of the time,

and he's mad a lot of the time,

and this is what I would tell Bam if he would listen,

is that everyone has regrets

and everybody has really painful moments,

and there's nothing that's ever gonna take that away,

you just have to understand that it's normal

and that it's human, and I hope

that that's something that Bam realizes.

We're a wolf pack. Bam is not alone,

you are not alone, she's not alone.

I'm never alone thanks to you.

Right?

- That's how we move forward. - Yeah.

All for one and one for all.

Hi, chicken, you're gonna have

to live on hay for the moment, okay?

We got a busy day.

You know, everyone in the family

is doing I guess as best they can for the situation.

I know everyone's definitely strained,

you know, there's a giant loss,

because it just feels impossible

to continue even though we have to.

When I was a kid, Da would do my makeup,

and so getting ready and knowing

I'm getting ready to go to his funeral,

it's really hard.

I was his little princess and he treated me like that.

I'd get on my little princess dress

and he'd pick me up and he'd dance with me,

and we always talked about going to a daddy-daughter dance.

One last dance, Da.

Today is a really, uh, big and important day.

I'm just been trying to keep as strong

as I can for everybody else and, uh,

don't wanna like breakdown or anything.

So, I'm gonna try to hold it together as much as I can.

Has anybody heard if Bam is gonna make it?

I heard that he was going to try to come, he said.

To be honest, even now, like, it's very hard

and there was a time that I didn't know

if I was gonna be able to.

But I just don't want Bam to have any regrets

later down the line.

They all have such strong relationships

with Billy and they miss him.

One can't help but have regrets of things

you wish you'd done or said.

I think, each of the kids are struggling with it.

But I keep telling them,

you keep Da with you in the good memories.

That's where Da is.

Hmm, here we go, Da.

Ready?

Ready as you can be in this situation.

Yeah, tell me about it.

Y'all can go ahead and go in, for sure.

Thank you very much, guys.

All beginning this year.

I knew that someday when I lost Da

that would be the hardest thing

that I ever went through.

It's just impossible to ever fully prepare yourself

losing someone that means so much to you,

someone that is a cornerstone or foundation

of every day of your life.

I've dug a couple of holes myself and...

I know. And you did it barefooted

and you did it with a shovel that was broken in half...

- Yeah. - ...had a nail sticking through it.

Yeah.

I just want you to remember everything.

Remember its family, remember where you come from.

Remember how to get home.

And what's a good Skipper?

You guy's got a good crew.

That's just the way it is.

All you can do is just keep going.

Just keep reminding yourself to breathe.

My dad is, was, and always will be my hero.

Not a second will go by that I don't miss him.

And it is definitely the hardest thing in my life

to continue going on without him.

It's over. Thank God.

Uh, I think Da would have liked that.

I think so too.

I think he would have liked that as well, very much so.

That was a very beautiful service

to represent a very beautiful man.

Bam gave a very nice speech.

It was very beautiful.

Everyone had the kindest things to say.

One way, it felt good to see Billy today.

But in another way, that wasn't Billy.

That was merely the vessel

that he traveled upon the earth in.

My Billy is in Heaven waiting at the gate for me.

Does anybody else feel lighter?

Yeah.

I don't know, like I feel, like, he's fine,

he's free now.

And that's the main thing, too,

is that he's not in pain anymore.

And Da was in a lot of pain.

For as long as I can remember,

Da has been sick.

But the last few years

had just been so hard on him.

But he never felt that way

because he had such a strong spirit.

You didn't know true strength unless you met my dad.

You okay? Come on.

- Let's get you inside, Da. - Yeah.

Breathe.

- Guys, clear this area. - Can you see me?

- Can you hear me? - Don't crowd around him.

Production has a team ready to take Da to Seattle,

- if, uh, anything happens. - No.

No. This is where I belong.

I belong in the forest.

This is where I was born to be,

this is what God wants me to be.

Give me sails on a boat

so I can make one more adventure,

Got a bush heart.

Da was never really one to let people

see him bleed.

I used to see him on the bows of our boats,

just wave after wave crashing over me.

He's holding on to these ropes and he didn't even flinch.

Da, never did anything for himself, ever.

Everything he ever did was for us and for mom.

No matter what happens,

we have to keep going

but I don't know how we live without Da.

How are you all hanging?

Is anyone sleeping very good?

No.

We've had Da in our ears telling us,

"You jelly head, get to work."

We need to do this, we need to do this.

We've been doing it for so long,

kind of following his vision.

He's gone and it's our turn.

But we need him

to be able to tell us what we need to do.

As sad as it may be,

Da is not right here with us.

Not physically, but we know in spirit, he is.

And we know what all Da wanted.

We have to go on.

That's what we do.

It's sad. We miss him.

And we wish he were still with us

but you have to be strong and continue with life.

And dream hasn't died nor has it changed.

Billy want the ranch to continue with more vigor

and make it even bigger and better than it was

going to be.

First step to me is I drew up a really cute little plan

for a small Little House On The Prairie type barn.

Da really liked it. That's why I'm gonna go with it.

Are we able to get a barn up

with all the snow that we have still up there?

Don't we have to wait until it melts off

so that we get proper foundation?

We'll build fires on it and stuff.

I'll help you shovel. We have a lot of shovels.

Noah has a tractor.

We can do what we can to try and build a barn.

- Clear out the land. - We'll try and get it

ready to bring the animals back up

because we need to bring up all the horses.

We couldn't finish the corral

but it's of course still important to get the animals

out there as soon as we can

because we're still doing this.

This will be a working ranch and farm.

It will be everything that he said it would be

and we will make it work no matter what happens.

One of the last things that Da and I talked about doing

was trying to find gold on the mountain.

- Definitely. - And I was just wondering

if we can just go forward with that.

Of course.

I really am more determined than ever

to pursue gold on North Star Ranch.

The old prospectors, they didn't stop

gold mining on the mountain because there wasn't gold.

They stopped because it became too expensive,

and then people would move on to panning

and other ways to get gold

opposed to hard-rock mining.

It's a very barbaric, uh, outdated process,

but it's one that we are very interested in.

Okay y'all, there's so much we can do.

I think we should do everything.

- I agree. Yes. - You know, we should just do

everything we planned out.

I don't see why we change.

Da gave us the plan,

all we have to do is to do it.

It's just a closing, I guess a closing

and an end of an era,

and the beginning of another new life.

I'm Bear. This is my sister Rain

and my brother Gabe.

What's your name?

Okay, Blake.

With renewed ambition,

siblings, Bear, Gabe, and Rain

traveled 25 miles to the town of Nighthawk

to chase down a lead on mining equipment

set up for them by Father Billy

days prior to his death.

I think I know you guys.

Uh, you've probably seen us around.

Uh...

We call him the bearded wonder.

The bearded wonder.

Dating back to the 1860s,

the town of Nighthawk is one of the oldest

mining districts in Washington State.

The once booming mining center,

now a registered ghost town

with a population of only five,

was known for an abundance of silver and lead,

as well as supplying materials

to other local mines.

I had heard that your family

might have some old mining equipment.

Yeah.

Something you might be willing to part with?

Yeah.

Mind if we take a look at it?

Uh...

My first impression of Blake, uh...

he's definitely been a miner for a long time, I would say.

He's probably done it a little bit too long, in my opinion.

This is it?

- Yeah. - Oh, wow.

Big Machine.

It comes out that fine?

Yeah.

- Wow. - Wow.

Most of our gold mining never involved this kind of stuff.

I can't look it over and go,

"Oh, yeah, well, the fire rod is a little..."

You know, uh, I don't know that much about it.

Is this part of it, too?

Yeah.

Dang.

So this is the first step?

Sheesh,

I didn't know the machinery was going to be so big.

Like, you don't really get the grasp of it

from looking at just the bottom piece

but it's, uh, quite a thing.

I thought taking down the windmill was a big feat.

It's only gonna need to be busted down to,

like, eight pieces.

That's not bad when you look at it.

Uh, to be honest, I'm not 100% confident

that we should get this machinery from Blake.

I know Rain is definitely totally for it,

but it is gigantic.

There's a lot of parts to it,

so that's making me a little bit hesitant.

And you said it's runnable?

All right.

Bear and Gabe are so skeptical,

but you're not going to find

a piece of mining equipment

with all of the pieces here.

This is, like, literally the jackpot.

What do you all think?

Oh, I think, we should get it.

It sure as heck beats doing this

with five-gallon buckets and shovels.

So, then, the question is, do you want gold?

It's weird looking at it now.

It doesn't look like it was on fire not long ago.

I know.

Couple of places look a little crispy still.

I mean, a couple places, there's quite a bit of ash

still but you know what I mean.

With plans in place

to push progress on the ranch forward,

mother Ami makes a difficult trek up the mountain

without patriarch Billy.

It is a beautiful day for this.

Isn't it?

It's really weird.

Yeah.

Well, I'm driving up the mountain

for the first time since Billy's passing

and, uh, it's very odd.

He should be sitting next to me driving

and me holding his hands.

Happy trip.

Happy trip, big girl.

I try to be strong.

I can't just go cry in the corner and sit all day.

That doesn't accomplish anything

and I know he wouldn't want that.

So, I had to stay strong for the family right now

because I have to show them that life goes on.

I have to be supportive of them.

They may need me.

There is no one in the world

that is more heartbroken than mom right now.

But mom is also the strongest person I've ever met.

You know, Da always said that mom was the glue

that held the family together,

and that's who she is right now.

She's the mom that's standing up

and taking care of everything.

I am glad that we're continuing with everything

that we had already had planned.

- Yes. - Me, too.

Because I know we wanna do, like, zip lines,

and gold, and animals, I guess, is number one.

All I'm asking basically is when is the zip line

gonna be closed.

Probably, at the end of summer.

It's a play thing.

It's too much to do right now.

- Yeah. - But we gotta remember

what we were always told,

- we have to have fun. - We have to play.

You know, it's just like always,

we've been up against it before

but it's important to remember to laugh.

Uh, it seems like a betrayal to Da but just, you know,

got all depressed all the time,

you have to remember to laugh and stay happy,

you know, that's for Da.

I'm a turtle!

I'm safe!

I'm so tired.

Got frostbite over here.

Okay. We're done.

- It looked like fun. - For now.

I've never had a snowball fight.

Hit him. He's good. Hit him.

this is my sore arm, don't forget.

- Oh. - Got you.

That was for Da.

Y'all through playing and ready to work now?

Yes.

How much further can you go?

- Not much. - A couple feet.

It's so hard to walk on this.

Okay. Are we good here? Mom?

- No. - No?

Further.

Further, Gabe, march.

Building the new horse barn is a priority

before the horses can come up,

so Rain, Gabe, mom, and I

are looking around where mom wants to put

the special barn and she has a grand vision

of what she wants for it because it's...

You know, it's the barn that her and dad drew out.

She just wants the stalls for all the horses,

and then a little area for them outside,

and she wants it to be right by the house,

so she can just step out and see.

Are these each... Is...

- Each one of those are stalls? - Mmm-hmm.

This area that we're in right here,

this will be where we walk to get to each mare stall.

It's gonna be a large rectangle.

You all are about to be digging all this out.

- All right. - Mmm-hmm.

I'm trying to get the kids and, uh, everyone

back on track and motivated

because it is a difficult time with a long mourning period.

But everything that I'm asking the kids to do now

are things that Billy and I sat and talked about

of what we want to do for the ranch.

- Find where the edges... - So this is the edge.

Whoa. Maybe this is it.

Yup, that's the edge.

We found the edge, mom.

So I'm going to fulfill and see to it that everything

that Billy wanted done will be done...

for Billy.

We had a general plan and it is changeable.

- But this is the basic design. - And?

If you think about it long enough,

there might not be snow by the time

- we're done thinking. - I won't think that long.

Horse, Da, and God.

Okay. One, two three,

Horse, Da, and God.

- Yay. - Okay. Let's go.

I'm just trying to clear my head a little bit.

I'm just trying to hold together as much as I can

to be as strong as possible for River, for everybody,

you know, no one wants a weepy dad, right?

It's hard, it's not easy

because my Dad was there for my whole life, uh...

But now it really makes you think and puts everything

into perspective a little bit more.

And so I'm just thinking about

what to do about Raiven and I's wedding,

it's supposed to be a happy time,

somewhere you should be laughing and smiling,

and, you know, have fun and I just...

don't think I can smile too much right now.

This is the best thing for me to do,

is just get up as high as I can

and breathe in the fresh air.

Think about everything.

Just try to remember everything...

that dad that taught me and taught all of us.

I'm just gonna concentrate on being the best dad

that I possibly can.

With recent events,

it's gonna be a little bit more difficult.

I'm gonna try to be there for River as much as I can be.

Are you ready, mom?

As ready as I'll ever be.

Two weeks ago,

on the way to the funeral home,

Brown luck strikes again.

It's oil pressure low. Stop engine.

The car starts having problems.

It's par for the course. My entire life,

we've had some kind of mechanical issue.

We may have a bigger problem, guys.

- How's the radiator? - Yeah.

It's smoking now and it's very warm.

I wonder if there's a leak.

You know, as we're trying to fix the car

and find oil and do all this,

I definitely feel like dad's here.

Like, he's calling us jelly heads

and he's thinking the same thing we are,

that we're Browns, of course, something has to break down.

We might have to get a ride with production

to make it there on time.

Kind of, funny if we break down

on the way here and, you know,

now dad's up there with God

helping him with the pranks.

Car's dead.

Dad's laughing.

Let me check the stability of this thing.

She seems pretty stable.

Okay. It's not meant to be climbed on, no.

No, it's meant to have large rocks dropped into it.

Not as large as you.

The Brown family grieves the death

of their father the only way they know how,

continuing his legacy on North Star Ranch.

Where do you want to start at?

We need to start from the top down.

And after a salvage mission to Nighthawk,

they've decided to acquire an entire

75-ton gold processor

to build a mining operation on their mountain.

Okay.

This piece of mining equipment

is definitely a risk, but it's worth it.

Being that we're building up the ranch from ground up,

if we were able to get gold on the mountain,

it would be a huge help to the family.

Jackpot.

Taking the gold processor down

is a humongous task.

Now.

There you go.

Timber.

It's very important to salvage

as much as we possibly can on this processor,

I mean, every bolt

could be the difference in between us getting gold

and us just making a huge fool out of ourselves.

Oh, no. The metal.

It's fine.

This processor is extremely old.

It is almost 80 something years old.

It's gigantic and it's rusty.

Bear, that's really freaking me out, man.

But if it's, you know, if it's good enough,

you know, to work back then,

so hopefully it still works now.

One more.

Uh-oh.

- Oh, no. - That one got split.

We need as much reinforcements as we can get.

We have to pop every single one of these.

All the metal, the conveyor belt, the engine,

the other conveyor belt, the other engine,

the other conveyor belt, and the gigantic metal thing

it just keeps going on and on.

We need back up.

We're definitely gonna need some help

getting the gold processor up the mountain.

This equipment is very difficult to take apart.

I'm a little bit nervous that I may have bitten off

more than I can chew.

Do you think we should get like a truck or something?

I don't know, it's gray clouds everywhere

except for straight in front of me,

got the sun kind of peeking out.

So, I just wish he was here,

I wish I could talk to him again.

When I was a kid and even a teen,

I always liked to go with Da.

It's like, you know, "Can I go with you, Da?

You know, can I hang with you?

Can I go on the skiff with you?

Can I go fishing with you?"

And right now, I can't go with them,

uh, so I would at least like to send

a piece of me with him.

So I'm gonna cut my ponytail off

in order to send it with Da.

Da's the only one that's ever cut my hair.

And my hair was always a big thing with me actually

and Da knew how much it meant to me.

Ever since Da passed away,

it's almost like I can hear his voice in the wind.

I can see him in the sunrises and the sunsets.

I know that if he was here, that he'd be

telling me that everything's okay.

I know he's in a better place now

and he's looking down on all of us from heaven so...

I still miss him though.

I just wanna say to my dad that, uh...

I love him very much, uh, I miss him very much, uh,

I wish he was here and I will, uh,

try live up to him as much as I can.

I love you, Da.

See you again in heaven.

Here chick, chick, chick.

- Hey, babe. - Hey, mom.

Mom and dad had always been a team.

I know it must be hard on her to be doing it by herself,

but she definitely has a strong face on right now.

Quite sentimental and noble thing you did there.

I'm trying not to cry about it.

I feel him with me, it's like he's still here.

He's just, uh, preparing the ranch in heaven.

- Oh, yeah. - For when we get up there.

He told me he'd wait right outside of the gate for me,

that he wouldn't go in and enjoy it

until I got there.

Bear cutting his hair to send off with Billy

was kind of like a turning of the page.

We're in a different world now,

it's definitely a different journey.

And you know he'd want us to, uh...

to carry on and keep on building the ranch

and just keep doing what we've been doing and all.

I'm so grateful and blessed to have

so much support from the kids.

Each and every one of them are there for me.

I don't know what's next for the wolf pack,

what's next for me.

I have my animals and God

and I feel Billy with me.

- I love you. - Love you.

Well, chickens, I got to go.

Enjoy your breakfast.

On the next episode of Alaskan Bush People.

I think dad would be proud for the three of us

out here doing this.

There's a weird emptiness when you lose a parent.

It feels like a part of you has been ripped away.

Mom wants the flag pole

to be on this ridge,

by where the party is actually gonna be.

Even though it's harder now

to start working on the ranch,

it's made me wanna do it even more.

Putting up the flag pole, Da.

It's kind of like saying, "Goodbye, Da."

Come on, baby.

I feel like if I don't

get this gold processor off the mountain,

then I'm failing him.

That should do it.

It's clear. Go, go.