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Good morning, Ben.
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Sorry.
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Did I scare you?
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No.
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I just wanted to remind you
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of the art show
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that's happening tonight
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at the community center.
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Yeah. Yeah.
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It's gonna be a lot of fun.
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Great. Well,
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that sounds cool.
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That sounds like something
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that will be a big success.
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You know?
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I mean,
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like everything that you
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put your paws on.
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Your fingers.
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Leslie Knope!
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Ben Wyatt. Ben, great news.
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Do you remember
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the woman I told you about
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from the county
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commissioner's office?
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Um... Vaguely.
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Sure you do. Cindy Miller.
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Anyway, she's agreed to go out
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on a date with you.
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Oh.
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You asked her out for me?
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You're going to love her.
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She is interesting,
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smart and beautiful.
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Inside and out.
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Inner beauty is
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very important.
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And outer beauty is
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also very important.
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I thought you had a rule
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about inter-government
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relationships.
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Don't worry. Her department
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is completely
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separate from ours.
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This isn't anything
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like your affair
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with Tom Haverford.
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We weren't... You... You...
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I'm sorry,
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who are you calling?
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Cindy Miller.
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Cindy Miller. Chris Traeger.
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Guess who is standing
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in this room
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with me right now.
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Oh, uh...
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Ben Wyatt.
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Ben, say hello.
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Hi, Cindy. Sorry.
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Hi. No apology necessary.
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It's just Chris being Chris.
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How are you doing?
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Ooh! Sparks are flying!
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We may have to call
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the fire department.
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It's a government joke.
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I love setting people up.
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Here's my secret.
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I determine
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someone's best qualities,
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and then, I find someone else
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with compatible qualities,
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and I bring them together.
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God, this sucks.
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Why don't you just go home
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for the rest of the day?
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I can't go home,
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because I have this
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art show opening at
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the community center,
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and I can't stay
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here because I see Ben,
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and I can't date Ben
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because of
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Chris' stupid rules.
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I feel so...
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Powerless.
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Yeah.
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I'm like that light bulb.
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Weak, flickering,
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barely giving off any light,
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unable to make out
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with the light bulb
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I want to make out with.
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You know what might
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make you feel better?
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A hug?
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Paxil. Do you want me
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to get you a prescription?
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Hey, Tom! A question for you.
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Do you know anyone
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who's looking for a roommate?
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How hot?
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I... What?
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How hot is the woman that's
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looking for a place to stay?
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No, it's me. I'm looking.
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Come on. That's not fair.
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You shouldn't have led me to
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believe it was
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a beautiful woman.
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I didn't.
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I've been staying at
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the Pawnee Super Suites
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Motel for seven months.
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It's a charming
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little inn with wonderfully
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random wake-up calls,
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delightfully
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unstable temperatures,
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and, as of yesterday, bedbugs.
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"Four stars," says nobody.
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I wish I could help you,
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Benihana, but I can't.
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I have a one-bedroom.
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I can't have a dude
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sleeping on my couch
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if and when I
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bring home a lady.
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I have a ritual,
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and it starts on the couch.
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We sit down,
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clap my hands, lights dim.
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Okay. I understand.
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Boyz Il Men. Fades in.
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Please, stop. No.
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No, you don't need
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to explain the ritual.
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I'm good.
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You know who might
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be able to help out
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a homeless dude
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such as yourself?
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This is awesomely perfect.
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Burly just moved in
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with his rich girlfriend,
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and we need
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help with the rent.
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We have a couple of
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house rules, though.
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Yeah, sure. Of course.
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You can't use the front door.
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You have to climb in
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through the back window.
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No personal
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phone conversations.
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If you ever speak
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to me in Spanish,
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please use the formal "usted".
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And no
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electricity after 6:00 p.m.
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She's joking.
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Okay.
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You can use as much
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free electricity as you want.
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It's free.
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Couple more rules.
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If you ever watch a sad movie,
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you have to wear
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mascara so we can see
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whether or not
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you've been crying.
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There's no noise
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allowed on Mondays,
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and no TV after breakfast.
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She is lying again.
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She is.
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Yes.
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Because it's hard to tell.
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No. We leave
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the TV on all day long
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so burglars think
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that we're home
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when we're not,
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which was my idea that
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I'm trying to patent.
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So, you want to
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move in tonight?
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Yeah. Sure.
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That would be great.
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You want my gum?
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Uh-huh.
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Ron, can you make
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the opening remarks?
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I'm just...
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I'm not in the mood.
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Neither am I. Ever.
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What's wrong with you?
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You live for
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this kind of stuff.
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I don't have it
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in me right now.
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Ron, please. Do it for me.
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Make the speech.
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Ron, please. Please.
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Give the speech, Ron.
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No.
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Yes. Please? Ron? Please.
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No.
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Please give the speech.
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No. I won't.
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Yes. Yes. Yes.
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No way.
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Please, please,
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please, please, please.
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No.
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Please, please.
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Yes, yes...
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All right! Damn it, woman.
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Okay, everyone.
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Shut up and look at me!
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Welcome to
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"Visions of Nature."
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This room has
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several paintings in it.
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Some are big. Some are small.
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People did them,
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and they are here now.
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I believe that
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after this is over,
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they'll be hung in
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government buildings.
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Why the government is involved
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in an art show is beyond me.
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I also think it's
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pointless for a human
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to paint scenes of nature
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when they can just go outside
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and stand in it.
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Anyway, please do not
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misinterpret the fact
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that I am talking right now
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as genuine interest in art
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and attempt to
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discuss it with me further.
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End of speech.
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And that's the TV room.
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Oh, my God.
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Yeah, it's a mess.
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Can you throw that
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in the trash can?
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I was just here,
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like, three weeks ago
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for your wedding.
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What happened?
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Well, Burly moved out.
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He was the one that
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did all the cleaning
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and throwing away and stuff.
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Wait, he moved out,
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like, a week ago.
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You guys made
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this mess in a week?
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Well, I always think
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April's going to clean up.
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And I never clean up.
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It's cute, right?
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No.
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Yes, it is.
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Are you guys frying marbles?
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We were checking to see
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if the fire alarm worked.
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It doesn't.
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The biggest
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challenge to picking
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the perfect roommate is
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finding someone
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who's willing to pay more
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than their share of
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rent without knowing it.
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I think we found that in Ben.
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You forgot to
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paint a painting, son.
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So, for my painting,
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I chose one
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of my very
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favorite Greek myths,
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the centaur goddess, Dyaphena,
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slaying a great stag.
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It's stunning.
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It's breathtaking, Jerry.
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Yeah. It really is.
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Wow. Thanks, guys.
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Hey, Leslie,
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you should really come
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over here and look
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at Jerry's painting.
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Oh, my God.
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That's me.
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Is that me?
302
00:07:03,790 --> 00:07:05,750
What? No.
303
00:07:08,420 --> 00:07:09,790
Geez, it does
304
00:07:08,420 --> 00:07:09,790
look like you.
305
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,290
You're just
306
00:07:09,930 --> 00:07:11,290
realizing that now?
307
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,620
That's what you see
308
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,620
when you close your
309
00:07:11,360 --> 00:07:13,620
eyes at night, Jerry.
310
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,160
Topless Leslie
311
00:07:13,700 --> 00:07:15,160
glued to a horse.
312
00:07:16,330 --> 00:07:18,930
Okay. Leslie,
313
00:07:16,330 --> 00:07:18,930
I am just so, so sorry.
314
00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:21,730
Dyaphena,
315
00:07:19,430 --> 00:07:21,730
she is this powerful goddess,
316
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,860
and I've been thinking a lot
317
00:07:21,800 --> 00:07:23,860
about powerful women,
318
00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:26,370
and subconsciously,
319
00:07:23,940 --> 00:07:26,370
I painted you.
320
00:07:26,510 --> 00:07:28,310
I'm sorry. I'm going
321
00:07:26,510 --> 00:07:28,310
to take it right down.
322
00:07:28,440 --> 00:07:30,280
No. Leave it up.
323
00:07:32,180 --> 00:07:33,510
I love it.
324
00:07:33,980 --> 00:07:35,470
I don't know
325
00:07:33,980 --> 00:07:35,470
how to explain it.
326
00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:37,990
Every time I look at it,
327
00:07:35,550 --> 00:07:37,990
I just think to myself,
328
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,590
"What can't that
329
00:07:38,120 --> 00:07:40,590
centaur woman do?
330
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,060
"Besides ride
331
00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,060
an escalator and drive a car."
332
00:07:43,120 --> 00:07:48,150
Art can be so magnificent.
333
00:07:48,660 --> 00:07:50,030
Oh, my God.
334
00:07:48,660 --> 00:07:50,030
The baby is Tom.
335
00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:51,570
What?
336
00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:54,670
This is easily my
337
00:07:52,230 --> 00:07:54,670
favorite painting ever.
338
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:58,500
What the hell, Jerry?
339
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:58,500
Look at my pot belly.
340
00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:58,500
I look like a pregnant baby.
341
00:07:58,870 --> 00:08:01,370
And why am I so scared?
342
00:07:58,870 --> 00:08:01,370
All right, we've got
343
00:07:58,870 --> 00:08:01,370
to take this down. Now.
344
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,930
No, this painting
345
00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:02,930
isn't going anywhere, Tom.
346
00:08:03,110 --> 00:08:07,010
It's staying right here.
347
00:08:03,110 --> 00:08:07,010
Hello, fellow lover
348
00:08:03,110 --> 00:08:07,010
of the arts.
349
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,080
Welcome to the painting.
350
00:08:09,580 --> 00:08:10,610
What, is that you?
351
00:08:12,290 --> 00:08:13,310
Well, it's hot.
352
00:08:14,060 --> 00:08:15,220
Thank you.
353
00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:18,450
This guy's in it, too.
354
00:08:15,290 --> 00:08:18,450
He's the little fat baby.
355
00:08:19,190 --> 00:08:20,180
Cool.
356
00:08:20,260 --> 00:08:21,250
Yeah.
357
00:08:22,200 --> 00:08:23,930
What's going on right here?
358
00:08:24,070 --> 00:08:25,800
Baby rolls!
359
00:08:29,870 --> 00:08:32,400
We've been trying to get
360
00:08:29,870 --> 00:08:32,400
that light fixed for months.
361
00:08:32,540 --> 00:08:33,530
Thank you.
362
00:08:33,640 --> 00:08:34,840
Thank her.
363
00:08:34,980 --> 00:08:36,210
Good morning, Tom.
364
00:08:36,310 --> 00:08:39,080
She marched into my
365
00:08:36,310 --> 00:08:39,080
office this morning
366
00:08:36,310 --> 00:08:39,080
and told me she wouldn't leave
367
00:08:39,180 --> 00:08:40,510
until I got this done.
368
00:08:40,580 --> 00:08:41,610
Hmm.
369
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:43,740
Well, I'm glad
370
00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:43,740
someone's feeling good.
371
00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:46,810
They're going to
372
00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:46,810
hang that painting
373
00:08:43,820 --> 00:08:46,810
in a public building
374
00:08:46,920 --> 00:08:48,250
where anybody can see it.
375
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:52,220
In one brush stroke,
376
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:52,220
Jerry has killed the
377
00:08:48,620 --> 00:08:52,220
Jay-Z vibe
378
00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:53,660
that's taken me
379
00:08:52,290 --> 00:08:53,660
years to cultivate
380
00:08:53,730 --> 00:08:56,130
and replaced it with the fat,
381
00:08:53,730 --> 00:08:56,130
brown baby vibe,
382
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,030
which is not as
383
00:08:56,300 --> 00:08:58,030
cool of a vibe.
384
00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:00,590
Hey, Aphrodite. Chris
385
00:08:58,100 --> 00:09:00,590
needs you in his office.
386
00:09:00,670 --> 00:09:01,660
Hmm.
387
00:09:02,070 --> 00:09:04,130
When you're done
388
00:09:02,070 --> 00:09:04,130
with the light,
389
00:09:02,070 --> 00:09:04,130
fix the printer.
390
00:09:04,270 --> 00:09:05,570
I don't know how
391
00:09:04,270 --> 00:09:05,570
to fix printers.
392
00:09:05,710 --> 00:09:07,010
Learn it.
393
00:09:07,610 --> 00:09:09,200
Leslie, should I go, too?
394
00:09:09,680 --> 00:09:11,940
This isn't about you, Jerry.
395
00:09:13,620 --> 00:09:15,140
It's my painting.
396
00:09:15,450 --> 00:09:16,750
Why am I upset?
397
00:09:16,820 --> 00:09:20,190
Let's start with
398
00:09:16,820 --> 00:09:20,190
government-funded
399
00:09:16,820 --> 00:09:20,190
animal porn.
400
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,020
I'm not sure
401
00:09:20,260 --> 00:09:22,020
that's fair.
402
00:09:22,090 --> 00:09:24,750
I want it destroyed,
403
00:09:22,090 --> 00:09:24,750
and I want a statement
404
00:09:22,090 --> 00:09:24,750
from this office
405
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:28,630
apologizing for an obscene
406
00:09:24,830 --> 00:09:28,630
depiction of bestiality.
407
00:09:28,830 --> 00:09:31,390
Bestiality? It is
408
00:09:28,830 --> 00:09:31,390
a picture of a centaur,
409
00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:33,690
a beautiful half person,
410
00:09:31,670 --> 00:09:33,690
half horse.
411
00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:35,360
And how did it
412
00:09:33,770 --> 00:09:35,360
get like that?
413
00:09:35,470 --> 00:09:39,340
Who had sex with what
414
00:09:35,470 --> 00:09:39,340
and gave birth to which?
415
00:09:39,510 --> 00:09:42,440
Ms. Langman, we hear you,
416
00:09:39,510 --> 00:09:42,440
we understand you
417
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:46,310
and we are going to do
418
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:46,310
whatever we can to
419
00:09:42,540 --> 00:09:46,310
come to a solution.
420
00:09:46,550 --> 00:09:47,910
Destroy it.
421
00:09:49,150 --> 00:09:51,450
Destroy it?
422
00:09:49,150 --> 00:09:51,450
I mean, is she serious?
423
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:53,890
Do you find this
424
00:09:51,590 --> 00:09:53,890
personally offensive?
425
00:09:54,460 --> 00:09:55,790
Not personally, no.
426
00:09:55,990 --> 00:09:59,520
No, personally,
427
00:09:55,990 --> 00:09:59,520
I enjoy a good artistic
428
00:09:55,990 --> 00:09:59,520
depiction of the human form.
429
00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:02,990
I've dabbled in
430
00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:02,990
nude sculpture.
431
00:09:59,730 --> 00:10:02,990
I've posed nude.
432
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,160
In college,
433
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,160
I was in a nude
434
00:10:03,060 --> 00:10:05,160
production of Cats.
435
00:10:05,770 --> 00:10:07,290
But I am not in
436
00:10:05,770 --> 00:10:07,290
the nude now, am I?
437
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:08,870
Because we're in
438
00:10:07,500 --> 00:10:08,870
a government building.
439
00:10:08,970 --> 00:10:10,910
And that would
440
00:10:08,970 --> 00:10:10,910
be inappropriate,
441
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,010
which is what I
442
00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:13,010
think Marcia is saying.
443
00:10:13,310 --> 00:10:14,940
So, take care of
444
00:10:13,310 --> 00:10:14,940
this situation.
445
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,510
That painting is not
446
00:10:15,080 --> 00:10:17,510
going to be destroyed.
447
00:10:17,580 --> 00:10:19,980
Every great work of
448
00:10:17,580 --> 00:10:19,980
art contains a message.
449
00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:22,350
And the message of
450
00:10:20,050 --> 00:10:22,350
this painting is,
451
00:10:22,420 --> 00:10:27,880
"Get out of my
452
00:10:22,420 --> 00:10:27,880
way unless you want
453
00:10:22,420 --> 00:10:27,880
an arrow in your ass, Marcia."
454
00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:30,920
Morning, roomie.
455
00:10:28,890 --> 00:10:30,920
How did you sleep?
456
00:10:30,990 --> 00:10:32,590
Well, there were
457
00:10:30,990 --> 00:10:32,590
no bedbugs.
458
00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:36,030
Also, no bed.
459
00:10:32,660 --> 00:10:36,030
I'm going to go buy a bed.
460
00:10:36,430 --> 00:10:37,730
Fork.
461
00:10:36,430 --> 00:10:37,730
I'm sorry.
462
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,930
Are you eating turkey
463
00:10:37,800 --> 00:10:40,930
chili off of a frisbee?
464
00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:44,370
Yeah. It's
465
00:10:41,940 --> 00:10:44,370
pretty cute, right?
466
00:10:44,940 --> 00:10:47,370
No. Do you know
467
00:10:44,940 --> 00:10:47,370
what "cute" means?
468
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,410
What have you got against
469
00:10:47,440 --> 00:10:49,410
turkey chili for breakfast?
470
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,000
What have you guys got
471
00:10:49,480 --> 00:10:52,000
against washing dishes?
472
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,050
We don't have
473
00:10:52,080 --> 00:10:54,050
any dishes, okay?
474
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,850
Burly took them
475
00:10:54,120 --> 00:10:55,850
all when he left.
476
00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:57,750
Now, I bet you
477
00:10:55,980 --> 00:10:57,750
feel like a jerk.
478
00:10:58,020 --> 00:11:00,650
God. Okay, I might need to not
479
00:10:58,020 --> 00:11:00,650
stay here anymore.
480
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,920
No. Sorry, dude.
481
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,920
We already spent your money
482
00:11:01,060 --> 00:11:03,920
on a new Xbox 360
483
00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:05,360
and more
484
00:11:03,990 --> 00:11:05,360
frisbees to eat off of.
485
00:11:05,430 --> 00:11:06,720
You've got to stay.
486
00:11:06,860 --> 00:11:08,190
God. Okay. All right.
487
00:11:08,400 --> 00:11:09,560
Here's the deal.
488
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,200
We're going to
489
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,200
clean this place up.
490
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:16,600
Okay? And then,
491
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:16,600
I am going to teach you
492
00:11:13,500 --> 00:11:16,600
how to be adults.
493
00:11:17,410 --> 00:11:19,600
Cool. We'll get to be adults.
494
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:22,070
Gee, golly.
495
00:11:20,070 --> 00:11:22,070
Thanks, mister.
496
00:11:24,080 --> 00:11:25,170
Fork.
497
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:29,410
Hello. I'm Perd Hapley,
498
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:29,410
and welcome to Ya' Heard?
499
00:11:25,680 --> 00:11:29,410
With Perd.
500
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,720
Today's show begins now.
501
00:11:29,480 --> 00:11:32,720
Is this art
502
00:11:32,790 --> 00:11:34,620
or is it pornography?
503
00:11:34,690 --> 00:11:35,990
Here to answer this question
504
00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:38,530
is Parks and
505
00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:38,530
Recreation Deputy Director,
506
00:11:36,060 --> 00:11:38,530
Leslie Knope.
507
00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:41,150
Perd, it is
508
00:11:39,660 --> 00:11:41,150
a beautiful work of art.
509
00:11:41,230 --> 00:11:43,360
Governments should not be
510
00:11:41,230 --> 00:11:43,360
in the business of censorship,
511
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:46,160
especially when a painting is
512
00:11:43,570 --> 00:11:46,160
as awesome as this one.
513
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:48,360
But this is
514
00:11:46,300 --> 00:11:48,360
where the controversy
515
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,600
of this story gets
516
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,600
even more controversial.
517
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,170
You are the subject
518
00:11:50,710 --> 00:11:53,170
of this painting.
519
00:11:53,310 --> 00:11:55,570
Half woman,
520
00:11:53,310 --> 00:11:55,570
half horse, with what
521
00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:57,980
some would say
522
00:11:55,710 --> 00:11:57,980
are human breasts.
523
00:11:58,110 --> 00:11:59,910
I am not the subject.
524
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:04,490
The subject is strong
525
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:04,490
and empowered
526
00:12:00,080 --> 00:12:04,490
women everywhere.
527
00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:07,650
But it does look
528
00:12:05,390 --> 00:12:07,650
a little bit like me.
529
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,750
Leslie,
530
00:12:07,720 --> 00:12:09,750
for our viewers at home
531
00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:11,920
who might not know,
532
00:12:09,890 --> 00:12:11,920
are centaurs real?
533
00:12:12,490 --> 00:12:13,480
No.
534
00:12:14,300 --> 00:12:15,700
Absolutely sure?
535
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,930
Okay. So, you always
536
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,930
separate your lights
537
00:12:15,760 --> 00:12:18,930
from your darks.
538
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,020
That's racist.
539
00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:21,600
And then,
540
00:12:20,170 --> 00:12:21,600
you get your laundry...
541
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,200
Where is your
542
00:12:21,740 --> 00:12:23,200
laundry detergent?
543
00:12:23,270 --> 00:12:25,000
Right. Here we are.
544
00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:29,230
Okay. This is
545
00:12:25,210 --> 00:12:29,230
bubble bath. You guys...
546
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,070
You wash your
547
00:12:29,440 --> 00:12:31,070
clothes in bubble bath?
548
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,410
Bubble bath,
549
00:12:31,250 --> 00:12:33,410
clothes soap, same thing.
550
00:12:33,480 --> 00:12:34,920
No, it's not.
551
00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:37,150
Well, they both
552
00:12:34,980 --> 00:12:37,150
make bubbles, so...
553
00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:41,150
It was never our
554
00:12:38,490 --> 00:12:41,150
intention to offend anyone
555
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:45,220
I guess some people
556
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:45,220
object to powerful
557
00:12:41,220 --> 00:12:45,220
depictions of awesome ladies.
558
00:12:45,360 --> 00:12:46,350
Okay.
559
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:49,400
Also joining us today
560
00:12:46,560 --> 00:12:49,400
is a different person.
561
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:51,700
Pornographic film actress,
562
00:12:49,460 --> 00:12:51,700
Brandi Maxxxx.
563
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:54,230
Pleasure to be here.
564
00:12:52,100 --> 00:12:54,230
Brandi, you've starred in
565
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:57,530
over 200 adult films,
566
00:12:54,300 --> 00:12:57,530
some of which are very good.
567
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,300
When did you get
568
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,300
into the business?
569
00:12:57,710 --> 00:12:59,300
Last year.
570
00:12:59,410 --> 00:13:04,470
Fantastic. Now,
571
00:12:59,410 --> 00:13:04,470
this painting right here,
572
00:12:59,410 --> 00:13:04,470
art or pornography?
573
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:06,810
Perd, I think this
574
00:13:04,650 --> 00:13:06,810
whole debate is ridiculous.
575
00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:09,210
What Leslie and I
576
00:13:06,950 --> 00:13:09,210
do is obviously art.
577
00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:12,380
Hang on.
578
00:13:10,150 --> 00:13:12,380
There is a big difference
579
00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:16,720
between an oil
580
00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:16,720
painting of a Greek myth
581
00:13:12,450 --> 00:13:16,720
and a pornographic movie.
582
00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:18,450
It's okay, Leslie.
583
00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:18,450
I got this one.
584
00:13:16,820 --> 00:13:18,450
What?
585
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:21,550
What Leslie and I want
586
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:21,550
people to know is you
587
00:13:18,530 --> 00:13:21,550
should be able to have sex
588
00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:24,030
anywhere you want
589
00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:24,030
and show it anywhere you want.
590
00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:27,070
Whether it's girl-on-girl
591
00:13:24,230 --> 00:13:27,070
action, bondage, or...
592
00:13:27,170 --> 00:13:28,470
Yep.
593
00:13:27,170 --> 00:13:28,470
...what have you.
594
00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:32,130
Okay. Hang on.
595
00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:32,130
Pornography is very
596
00:13:28,540 --> 00:13:32,130
difficult to define.
597
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:34,800
In fact, it was Justice
598
00:13:32,310 --> 00:13:34,800
Stewart who once said,
599
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,510
"I can't define pornography,
600
00:13:34,880 --> 00:13:37,510
but I know it when I see it."
601
00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:39,340
Brandi, how would
602
00:13:37,580 --> 00:13:39,340
you define pornography?
603
00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:42,510
For me, it's when
604
00:13:39,980 --> 00:13:42,510
the penis goes in.
605
00:13:46,850 --> 00:13:48,980
All right, we need to do
606
00:13:46,850 --> 00:13:48,980
some basic organization.
607
00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:51,890
Where do you put
608
00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:51,890
your bills when
609
00:13:49,790 --> 00:13:51,890
they come?
610
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:55,600
I read the magazines
611
00:13:52,190 --> 00:13:55,600
and give the rest to Andy.
612
00:13:55,800 --> 00:14:00,570
Which I organize into
613
00:13:55,800 --> 00:14:00,570
a pile or stack that
614
00:13:55,800 --> 00:14:00,570
I put into the freezer.
615
00:14:01,340 --> 00:14:02,460
Why?
616
00:14:02,600 --> 00:14:03,760
So they won't get lost.
617
00:14:06,370 --> 00:14:07,540
Bingo.
618
00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:14,010
Okay, you have
619
00:14:12,210 --> 00:14:14,010
to pay these.
620
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,050
Good thing
621
00:14:14,320 --> 00:14:16,050
I didn't lose them.
622
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,750
Okay. New lesson.
623
00:14:16,120 --> 00:14:19,750
Basic finance.
624
00:14:20,420 --> 00:14:22,790
I'm gonna teach you
625
00:14:20,420 --> 00:14:22,790
how to balance a checkbook.
626
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:28,290
Okay. I am going to teach you
627
00:14:24,330 --> 00:14:28,290
how to open a bank account.
628
00:14:30,970 --> 00:14:32,430
Bank account. Good.
629
00:14:32,870 --> 00:14:34,390
Brandi, I'm Thomas Haverford.
630
00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:35,700
I just wanted to
631
00:14:34,470 --> 00:14:35,700
say I thought you made
632
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,100
some excellent
633
00:14:35,840 --> 00:14:37,100
points up there.
634
00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:39,000
I totally agree with
635
00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:39,000
you that people should
636
00:14:39,140 --> 00:14:40,800
be allowed to have
637
00:14:39,140 --> 00:14:40,800
sex in public places.
638
00:14:41,040 --> 00:14:42,940
You look familiar to me.
639
00:14:43,180 --> 00:14:45,770
Maybe you've seen me
640
00:14:43,180 --> 00:14:45,770
down at the Snakehole Lounge.
641
00:14:45,880 --> 00:14:47,280
I'm a part-owner there.
642
00:14:47,420 --> 00:14:48,850
That's you. In the painting.
643
00:14:49,050 --> 00:14:50,990
You're the fat baby.
644
00:14:51,050 --> 00:14:52,180
Aw!
645
00:14:52,250 --> 00:14:53,740
That's so cute.
646
00:14:53,890 --> 00:14:55,410
Oh. You're into that?
647
00:14:55,690 --> 00:14:56,780
No.
648
00:14:57,460 --> 00:14:58,450
Damn it, Jerry.
649
00:14:59,030 --> 00:15:00,390
Imagine my horror.
650
00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:03,400
I'm hanging upside down
651
00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:03,400
with my gravity
652
00:15:00,460 --> 00:15:03,400
boots watching Perd.
653
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:07,770
I see you with your painting,
654
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:07,770
and I am startled
655
00:15:03,460 --> 00:15:07,770
and disappointed.
656
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:10,130
Well, I did not know
657
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:10,130
that Brandi was
658
00:15:08,070 --> 00:15:10,130
going to offer me
659
00:15:10,200 --> 00:15:11,500
a role in her next film.
660
00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:13,440
I urge you not
661
00:15:11,670 --> 00:15:13,440
to take that role.
662
00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:15,000
I am not going
663
00:15:13,510 --> 00:15:15,000
to take the role.
664
00:15:15,080 --> 00:15:16,140
That's good to hear,
665
00:15:16,210 --> 00:15:19,610
because recently,
666
00:15:16,210 --> 00:15:19,610
you've been
667
00:15:16,210 --> 00:15:19,610
a little unpredictable.
668
00:15:19,850 --> 00:15:23,380
I'm sorry that
669
00:15:19,850 --> 00:15:23,380
I'm trying to defend
670
00:15:19,850 --> 00:15:23,380
a beautiful work of art.
671
00:15:23,480 --> 00:15:24,610
Thank you, Leslie.
672
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:25,910
Stand down, Jerry.
673
00:15:24,750 --> 00:15:25,910
This isn't your fight.
674
00:15:25,990 --> 00:15:27,680
You've left me no choice.
675
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,080
I have convened a meeting
676
00:15:27,920 --> 00:15:30,080
of the Public Arts Commission,
677
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,920
and we will abide
678
00:15:30,160 --> 00:15:31,920
by their decision.
679
00:15:32,290 --> 00:15:33,760
Fine with me.
680
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,460
Public Arts Commission.
681
00:15:34,160 --> 00:15:36,460
Filled with hippies
682
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,900
who love art and
683
00:15:36,600 --> 00:15:38,900
sometimes weed.
684
00:15:39,470 --> 00:15:40,870
Jackpot.
685
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:46,670
I would just like
686
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:46,670
to introduce myself.
687
00:15:43,100 --> 00:15:46,670
My name is Chris Traeger,
688
00:15:46,740 --> 00:15:49,180
and I am a big fan of art.
689
00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:54,980
Council, I am not
690
00:15:52,110 --> 00:15:54,980
opposed to pornography.
691
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,020
In fact, you could say
692
00:15:55,120 --> 00:15:58,020
I'm definitely for it.
693
00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,580
If I had my laptop
694
00:15:58,090 --> 00:15:59,580
with me right now,
695
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:03,320
I would show you
696
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:03,320
a well-hidden folder
697
00:15:59,720 --> 00:16:03,320
with gigabytes of proof.
698
00:16:03,490 --> 00:16:10,160
However, this thing is
699
00:16:03,490 --> 00:16:10,160
disgusting and wrong.
700
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:14,390
Please let the record reflect
701
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:14,390
that the fat baby is
702
00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:14,390
referring to the painting.
703
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:17,560
Hey. I am not a fat baby.
704
00:16:14,540 --> 00:16:17,560
I'm a small,
705
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,730
slender man,
706
00:16:17,710 --> 00:16:20,730
similar to actor Taye Diggs.
707
00:16:20,910 --> 00:16:25,570
So, let the record
708
00:16:20,910 --> 00:16:25,570
reflect that, that
709
00:16:20,910 --> 00:16:25,570
I look like Taye Diggs.
710
00:16:27,150 --> 00:16:30,780
Members of
711
00:16:27,150 --> 00:16:30,780
the Public Arts Commission,
712
00:16:27,150 --> 00:16:30,780
good afternoon, and good art.
713
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:39,320
Every great society has always
714
00:16:35,320 --> 00:16:39,320
supported artistic expression.
715
00:16:39,490 --> 00:16:40,790
The Romans...
716
00:16:39,490 --> 00:16:40,790
Perverts.
717
00:16:40,860 --> 00:16:42,330
The Greeks...
718
00:16:40,860 --> 00:16:42,330
Gay perverts.
719
00:16:42,600 --> 00:16:44,030
To great societies in Europe.
720
00:16:44,170 --> 00:16:45,600
Europeans.
721
00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:48,330
There are some
722
00:16:46,230 --> 00:16:48,330
members of this community
723
00:16:48,470 --> 00:16:50,560
that would like to
724
00:16:48,470 --> 00:16:50,560
demonize this painting.
725
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:54,800
And when they do, they,
726
00:16:50,670 --> 00:16:54,800
in fact, demonize art itself.
727
00:16:55,110 --> 00:16:56,480
What is or isn't art
728
00:16:56,710 --> 00:17:00,550
is up to every
729
00:16:56,710 --> 00:17:00,550
free-thinking American
730
00:16:56,710 --> 00:17:00,550
to decide on their own.
731
00:17:03,350 --> 00:17:05,220
Yeah. It's in the bag.
732
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,990
We've decided
733
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,990
that the painting
734
00:17:05,750 --> 00:17:08,990
should be destroyed.
735
00:17:09,060 --> 00:17:10,350
Yeah! Burn it!
736
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:15,190
What? Are you serious?
737
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:15,190
You're supposed to be
738
00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:15,190
in favor of public art.
739
00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:17,130
Yeah, well,
740
00:17:15,260 --> 00:17:17,130
there are nipples in it.
741
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:21,230
So, it just seems
742
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:21,230
like we ought to be safe
743
00:17:17,200 --> 00:17:21,230
and destroy it.
744
00:17:23,770 --> 00:17:25,170
Okay.
745
00:17:25,540 --> 00:17:30,210
Here is a list of
746
00:17:25,540 --> 00:17:30,210
errands and things
747
00:17:25,540 --> 00:17:30,210
that human adults need.
748
00:17:30,380 --> 00:17:33,310
Also, I'm giving you
749
00:17:30,380 --> 00:17:33,310
an advance on
750
00:17:30,380 --> 00:17:33,310
next month's rent,
751
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:35,310
and I want you guys to go to
752
00:17:33,510 --> 00:17:35,310
Bed Bath and Beyond
753
00:17:35,450 --> 00:17:36,750
and buy everything
754
00:17:35,450 --> 00:17:36,750
on that list.
755
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:38,650
Or we could buy a Wii.
756
00:17:39,950 --> 00:17:41,860
You can handle this.
757
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,220
I don't know, man.
758
00:17:41,960 --> 00:17:44,220
Why don't you just do it?
759
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:47,620
No, I can't.
760
00:17:44,430 --> 00:17:47,620
I have a date.
761
00:17:48,200 --> 00:17:49,630
Ooh! What's his name?
762
00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:52,500
It's actually not...
763
00:17:49,730 --> 00:17:52,500
Chris set it up.
764
00:17:52,730 --> 00:17:55,790
Never mind.
765
00:17:52,730 --> 00:17:55,790
Point is, stick to the list
766
00:17:52,730 --> 00:17:55,790
and you'll do great.
767
00:17:56,040 --> 00:17:57,560
I have total faith in you.
768
00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:02,080
There's, like, a 30%
769
00:17:59,110 --> 00:18:02,080
chance they'll both die.
770
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:04,010
So, how do you
771
00:18:02,740 --> 00:18:04,010
want to do this?
772
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,550
Burn it publicly?
773
00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:05,550
Or burn it privately,
774
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,170
and I put
775
00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,170
the footage on my blog...
776
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,810
You've made
777
00:18:07,320 --> 00:18:08,810
your point, okay?
778
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,880
Look, this painting is
779
00:18:08,880 --> 00:18:10,880
very important to me.
780
00:18:11,150 --> 00:18:13,050
It doesn't need to hang
781
00:18:11,150 --> 00:18:13,050
in a government building.
782
00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:16,210
Just let me take it home,
783
00:18:13,220 --> 00:18:16,210
and I'll keep it there.
784
00:18:16,290 --> 00:18:17,880
What do you say?
785
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,720
I say this painting
786
00:18:18,130 --> 00:18:20,720
is going to burn.
787
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,150
First here,
788
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:23,150
then in hell.
789
00:18:24,530 --> 00:18:25,660
Do I need to get
790
00:18:24,530 --> 00:18:25,660
this validated?
791
00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:26,930
I don't know.
792
00:18:27,030 --> 00:18:29,500
No. Okay, then, great.
793
00:18:27,030 --> 00:18:29,500
I'm just gonna
794
00:18:27,030 --> 00:18:29,500
pull my car around
795
00:18:29,570 --> 00:18:31,970
and you can load
796
00:18:29,570 --> 00:18:31,970
it in the back.
797
00:18:32,140 --> 00:18:33,130
No.
798
00:18:34,510 --> 00:18:36,270
Hey! Come back here!
799
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,640
Make me, stag!
800
00:18:36,440 --> 00:18:38,640
I am Dyaphena!
801
00:18:39,480 --> 00:18:41,570
This place is amazing.
802
00:18:41,850 --> 00:18:44,680
Oh, my God. They have
803
00:18:41,850 --> 00:18:44,680
a thing that makes sherbet.
804
00:18:41,850 --> 00:18:44,680
We need five of those.
805
00:18:44,850 --> 00:18:46,980
No, we need to stick
806
00:18:44,850 --> 00:18:46,980
with what's on the list.
807
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,380
First things first,
808
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,380
oven mitts.
809
00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:50,760
Where are
810
00:18:49,460 --> 00:18:50,760
the oven mitts?
811
00:18:50,890 --> 00:18:52,190
Oh, my God.
812
00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:54,990
They have all
813
00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:54,990
the "As Seen On TV" stuff.
814
00:18:52,260 --> 00:18:54,990
Uh-uh!
815
00:18:55,130 --> 00:18:57,430
The Shake Weight,
816
00:18:55,130 --> 00:18:57,430
Iron Gym, Miracle Handle,
817
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,860
Big Top Cookie,
818
00:18:57,570 --> 00:18:59,860
Pillow Pet, Slap Chop.
819
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,100
Honey.
820
00:18:59,930 --> 00:19:01,100
Oh, my God.
821
00:19:01,170 --> 00:19:02,930
Honey. Listen to me.
822
00:19:05,070 --> 00:19:06,200
Get it all.
823
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,870
Grab everything
824
00:19:06,270 --> 00:19:07,870
that we've seen on TV,
825
00:19:07,940 --> 00:19:10,100
put it in this cart right now.
826
00:19:10,180 --> 00:19:12,810
Iron Gym?
827
00:19:10,180 --> 00:19:12,810
I am going to get so buff.
828
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:13,900
Oh, my God.
829
00:19:12,880 --> 00:19:13,900
Marshmallow Shooter!
830
00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:15,110
Marshmallow Shooter?
831
00:19:14,050 --> 00:19:15,110
Get two!
832
00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:16,580
Hey, what about
833
00:19:15,180 --> 00:19:16,580
the Magic Bullet?
834
00:19:16,720 --> 00:19:18,150
Yeah. I've seen that.
835
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,560
Oh. Hi.
836
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:23,560
Hi.
837
00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:25,730
I was at a meeting
838
00:19:23,790 --> 00:19:25,730
around the corner,
839
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,890
and some people wanted
840
00:19:25,790 --> 00:19:28,890
to destroy this painting.
841
00:19:28,960 --> 00:19:30,400
So, I brought it here.
842
00:19:30,500 --> 00:19:31,690
Where is Andy and April?
843
00:19:32,000 --> 00:19:33,800
They're out shopping.
844
00:19:34,270 --> 00:19:35,400
What are you doing here?
845
00:19:35,740 --> 00:19:38,970
I moved into
846
00:19:35,740 --> 00:19:38,970
the spare room.
847
00:19:39,770 --> 00:19:40,870
Really?
848
00:19:41,010 --> 00:19:42,140
Yeah.
849
00:19:42,710 --> 00:19:44,410
Can I come in?
850
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:46,240
Yeah. Yeah, sure.
851
00:19:44,550 --> 00:19:46,240
Of course.
852
00:19:46,450 --> 00:19:47,780
Why do they want
853
00:19:46,450 --> 00:19:47,780
to destroy it?
854
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:51,580
Well, it's a painting
855
00:19:48,080 --> 00:19:51,580
of me as a centaur.
856
00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:53,520
Okay.
857
00:19:52,050 --> 00:19:53,520
And it's a nude.
858
00:19:53,820 --> 00:19:55,190
Oh.
859
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:58,090
Just basically,
860
00:19:55,260 --> 00:19:58,090
like, the "chestal" region.
861
00:19:58,190 --> 00:19:59,350
Uh-huh.
862
00:19:58,190 --> 00:19:59,350
Mostly.
863
00:19:59,430 --> 00:20:00,950
You don't have to look at it
864
00:19:59,430 --> 00:20:00,950
if you don't want to.
865
00:20:01,030 --> 00:20:02,590
No, no, no.
866
00:20:01,030 --> 00:20:02,590
It's very classy.
867
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,060
Yeah, no.
868
00:20:02,660 --> 00:20:04,060
I'm sure it is.
869
00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:05,600
Man. It's Chris.
870
00:20:04,130 --> 00:20:05,600
I better take this.
871
00:20:05,730 --> 00:20:07,220
Okay.
872
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:08,740
Hi, Chris.
873
00:20:07,300 --> 00:20:08,740
Leslie Knope.
874
00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:10,000
You need to bring
875
00:20:08,940 --> 00:20:10,000
that painting back.
876
00:20:10,140 --> 00:20:11,230
What painting?
877
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:14,070
Leslie, you have
878
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:14,070
the painting, and you need
879
00:20:11,340 --> 00:20:14,070
to bring it back in.
880
00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:15,440
I think I've been
881
00:20:14,140 --> 00:20:15,440
pretty fair with you,
882
00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:16,870
and I'm starting
883
00:20:15,580 --> 00:20:16,870
to feel angry.
884
00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:18,340
Okay. Chris...
885
00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:18,340
And I don't
886
00:20:16,940 --> 00:20:18,340
like feeling angry.
887
00:20:18,410 --> 00:20:21,440
My heart is racing.
888
00:20:18,410 --> 00:20:21,440
It is going literally
889
00:20:18,410 --> 00:20:21,440
45 beats a minute.
890
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,140
I'm sorry. If I could
891
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,140
just explain to you
892
00:20:21,520 --> 00:20:24,140
my point of view.
893
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:26,080
You will bring that painting
894
00:20:24,220 --> 00:20:26,080
in tomorrow morning
895
00:20:26,150 --> 00:20:27,590
and surrender it
896
00:20:26,150 --> 00:20:27,590
to Marcia Langman.
897
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,390
And that's that.
898
00:20:27,660 --> 00:20:30,390
Do you understand me, madam?
899
00:20:30,490 --> 00:20:31,550
Yes.
900
00:20:36,930 --> 00:20:38,400
Mighty Putty.
901
00:20:42,870 --> 00:20:44,240
What are we doing?
902
00:20:42,870 --> 00:20:44,240
We didn't get
903
00:20:44,370 --> 00:20:45,740
a single thing
904
00:20:44,370 --> 00:20:45,740
that Ben told us to.
905
00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:48,230
Sure, we did.
906
00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:48,230
We got the
907
00:20:46,140 --> 00:20:48,230
Marshmallow Shooter.
908
00:20:48,310 --> 00:20:50,710
That's... I don't
909
00:20:48,310 --> 00:20:50,710
think that's on the list.
910
00:20:51,180 --> 00:20:52,170
But I want it.
911
00:20:52,310 --> 00:20:53,300
I want it, too.
912
00:20:53,910 --> 00:20:56,210
But I also kind of
913
00:20:53,910 --> 00:20:56,210
want my own fork.
914
00:20:56,950 --> 00:20:58,390
Just because you
915
00:20:56,950 --> 00:20:58,390
eat really slow,
916
00:20:58,520 --> 00:20:59,950
which is cute,
917
00:20:58,520 --> 00:20:59,950
but also super annoying.
918
00:21:02,290 --> 00:21:03,350
Fine.
919
00:21:03,490 --> 00:21:04,580
What? What's wrong?
920
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:08,420
Nothing. It's just
921
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:08,420
adults are boring.
922
00:21:04,830 --> 00:21:08,420
And I hate them.
923
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,930
And I don't want to
924
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,930
buy all this stupid,
925
00:21:08,500 --> 00:21:10,930
boring, adult stuff
926
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:12,400
and become boring adults.
927
00:21:12,470 --> 00:21:13,900
Hey. Listen to me.
928
00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:15,800
Yes, we're going
929
00:21:13,970 --> 00:21:15,800
to get a dish rack
930
00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:17,800
and shower curtains
931
00:21:15,940 --> 00:21:17,800
and a cutting board.
932
00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:19,400
But if you
933
00:21:18,210 --> 00:21:19,400
think for one second
934
00:21:19,470 --> 00:21:21,670
I'm not also going to get
935
00:21:19,470 --> 00:21:21,670
that Marshmallow Shooter
936
00:21:22,010 --> 00:21:24,100
so that I can
937
00:21:22,010 --> 00:21:24,100
shoot you in the face
938
00:21:22,010 --> 00:21:24,100
with marshmallows
939
00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:27,770
when you're asleep,
940
00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:27,770
then you're the dumbest
941
00:21:24,180 --> 00:21:27,770
woman I know.
942
00:21:31,020 --> 00:21:33,150
You're going to make me cry.
943
00:21:33,550 --> 00:21:36,390
You're a level-headed person.
944
00:21:33,550 --> 00:21:36,390
What do I do here?
945
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,050
Well, I don't know.
946
00:21:36,520 --> 00:21:38,050
I mean, it is one
947
00:21:38,190 --> 00:21:39,720
of the basic
948
00:21:38,190 --> 00:21:39,720
rules of government
949
00:21:39,830 --> 00:21:42,020
that you shouldn't
950
00:21:39,830 --> 00:21:42,020
offend people.
951
00:21:42,130 --> 00:21:45,070
Yeah. I guess
952
00:21:42,130 --> 00:21:45,070
you're right. I just...
953
00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:48,990
I'm so annoyed by all
954
00:21:45,970 --> 00:21:48,990
these rules, lately.
955
00:21:49,340 --> 00:21:50,960
We're back here.
956
00:21:49,340 --> 00:21:50,960
Me, too.
957
00:21:51,740 --> 00:21:53,500
Hey, Leslie.
958
00:21:51,740 --> 00:21:53,500
What are you doing here?
959
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:56,510
Hey. Um. Well,
960
00:21:53,640 --> 00:21:56,510
I stole a painting, and
961
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,510
I was hoping you guys
962
00:21:56,640 --> 00:21:59,510
would help me hide it.
963
00:22:00,150 --> 00:22:01,340
I like it.
964
00:22:00,150 --> 00:22:01,340
It's very simple.
965
00:22:01,480 --> 00:22:02,680
No, it's on the other side.
966
00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:07,950
Oh, my God.
967
00:22:05,150 --> 00:22:07,950
Is that you as a naked horse?
968
00:22:08,690 --> 00:22:10,750
Does it look like me?
969
00:22:08,690 --> 00:22:10,750
I don't even...
970
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:13,730
Leslie. I mean, not to be
971
00:22:10,830 --> 00:22:13,730
inappropriate or anything,
972
00:22:13,790 --> 00:22:16,960
because you're my
973
00:22:13,790 --> 00:22:16,960
boss and my friend,
974
00:22:13,790 --> 00:22:16,960
but I would totally hit that.
975
00:22:17,830 --> 00:22:19,230
So would I.
976
00:22:17,830 --> 00:22:19,230
You guys are sweet.
977
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,160
Okay. I should go and
978
00:22:19,600 --> 00:22:22,160
hit the road with this.
979
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:24,200
And...
980
00:22:22,300 --> 00:22:24,200
Okay.
981
00:22:24,340 --> 00:22:25,830
I'll see you later.
982
00:22:24,340 --> 00:22:25,830
Bye.
983
00:22:25,940 --> 00:22:27,030
Bye, Leslie.
984
00:22:25,940 --> 00:22:27,030
Bye.
985
00:22:27,110 --> 00:22:29,100
So? How did we do?
986
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,640
I don't know.
987
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,640
Does this answer
988
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:31,640
your question?
989
00:22:38,990 --> 00:22:41,580
No. Did you buy plates?
990
00:22:41,760 --> 00:22:43,280
Oh. Plates.
991
00:22:46,660 --> 00:22:48,090
Leslie, what are you doing?
992
00:22:48,160 --> 00:22:49,390
Say goodbye to Dyaphena.
993
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,500
I have to turn her over
994
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,500
to stupid Marcia Langman.
995
00:22:52,630 --> 00:22:54,970
Really? Wow.
996
00:22:55,200 --> 00:22:56,330
What?
997
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,130
I mean, to be honest,
998
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,130
that seems like the
999
00:22:56,400 --> 00:22:59,130
kind of thing I would do,
1000
00:22:59,210 --> 00:23:01,800
and I didn't think
1001
00:22:59,210 --> 00:23:01,800
you would give in.
1002
00:23:03,010 --> 00:23:04,000
Come with me.
1003
00:23:06,810 --> 00:23:08,680
Hey, man.
1004
00:23:06,810 --> 00:23:08,680
Roomie.
1005
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:13,420
Dude, it's super fun
1006
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:13,420
to eat cereal from
1007
00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:13,420
a bowl with a spoon.
1008
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,110
Thank you for that.
1009
00:23:13,520 --> 00:23:15,110
No problem.
1010
00:23:15,220 --> 00:23:16,520
Though, you know
1011
00:23:15,220 --> 00:23:16,520
you're not supposed to
1012
00:23:16,660 --> 00:23:17,960
bring your dishes
1013
00:23:16,660 --> 00:23:17,960
into work, right?
1014
00:23:19,490 --> 00:23:20,890
Good one.
1015
00:23:19,490 --> 00:23:20,890
I'm serious.
1016
00:23:21,060 --> 00:23:22,830
What's going on
1017
00:23:21,060 --> 00:23:22,830
between you and Leslie?
1018
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,460
I noticed a weird vibe
1019
00:23:23,200 --> 00:23:25,460
when we came into the room.
1020
00:23:25,530 --> 00:23:26,830
Nothing. I mean,
1021
00:23:25,530 --> 00:23:26,830
we're friends.
1022
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:31,670
Just regular
1023
00:23:27,000 --> 00:23:31,670
friendship development.
1024
00:23:32,310 --> 00:23:34,740
Come on, roomie.
1025
00:23:32,310 --> 00:23:34,740
You can tell me.
1026
00:23:32,310 --> 00:23:34,740
I know there was something.
1027
00:23:35,140 --> 00:23:36,970
I bet you I can
1028
00:23:35,140 --> 00:23:36,970
guess what it is.
1029
00:23:38,350 --> 00:23:40,010
She stole money from you.
1030
00:23:40,750 --> 00:23:45,120
What? No. No, Andy,
1031
00:23:40,750 --> 00:23:45,120
she did not.
1032
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,050
I think we
1033
00:23:46,520 --> 00:23:48,050
like each other.
1034
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:52,180
But Chris has
1035
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:52,180
this very strict rule
1036
00:23:48,720 --> 00:23:52,180
co-workers can't date,
1037
00:23:52,260 --> 00:23:55,230
so it's not even
1038
00:23:52,260 --> 00:23:55,230
an option.
1039
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,520
Wow.
1040
00:23:55,960 --> 00:23:57,520
Yeah.
1041
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,030
Well, first of all,
1042
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,030
Leslie, she's, like,
1043
00:23:57,600 --> 00:24:00,030
the coolest ever.
1044
00:24:00,100 --> 00:24:01,470
You've chosen well.
1045
00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:04,970
And, secondly, hey, man,
1046
00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:04,970
if it's gonna happen,
1047
00:24:01,540 --> 00:24:04,970
it's gonna happen.
1048
00:24:05,170 --> 00:24:06,610
Look at me and April.
1049
00:24:07,170 --> 00:24:09,170
If you're anything like us,
1050
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,940
three weeks from now,
1051
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,940
you'll be married, my friend.
1052
00:24:15,350 --> 00:24:17,080
I'm glad you finally
1053
00:24:15,350 --> 00:24:17,080
came to your senses.
1054
00:24:17,150 --> 00:24:20,050
I know that's
1055
00:24:17,150 --> 00:24:20,050
not an easy journey
1056
00:24:17,150 --> 00:24:20,050
for you to make.
1057
00:24:20,820 --> 00:24:23,550
Let's take a look at
1058
00:24:20,820 --> 00:24:23,550
it first, shall we?
1059
00:24:24,590 --> 00:24:26,420
Whoa! It looks amazing!
1060
00:24:26,490 --> 00:24:28,890
I had the artist
1061
00:24:26,490 --> 00:24:28,890
paint over the original.
1062
00:24:29,100 --> 00:24:30,120
Feel free to destroy it.
1063
00:24:30,200 --> 00:24:31,190
No.
1064
00:24:31,370 --> 00:24:34,390
But I think you'll find no one
1065
00:24:31,370 --> 00:24:34,390
could possibly be offended.
1066
00:24:34,670 --> 00:24:36,660
Unless, of course,
1067
00:24:34,670 --> 00:24:36,660
they have a problem
1068
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,800
with centaurs
1069
00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:38,800
having modern haircuts.
1070
00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:43,040
There were many
1071
00:24:41,380 --> 00:24:43,040
kinds of Greek goddesses.
1072
00:24:43,510 --> 00:24:46,410
Some were lovers.
1073
00:24:43,510 --> 00:24:46,410
Some were warriors.
1074
00:24:46,580 --> 00:24:49,070
And some were tricksters.
1075
00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:56,650
I'm so glad that
1076
00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:56,650
this got resolved
1077
00:24:51,620 --> 00:24:56,650
because I hate being angry.
1078
00:24:57,090 --> 00:24:58,080
Ben!
1079
00:24:57,090 --> 00:24:58,080
Yeah.
1080
00:24:58,160 --> 00:24:59,150
Come in here.
1081
00:24:59,890 --> 00:25:01,450
How did your
1082
00:24:59,890 --> 00:25:01,450
date with Cindy go?
1083
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,900
You know,
1084
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:03,900
she wasn't really my type.
1085
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,490
She's a tall brunette.
1086
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,490
You always like
1087
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:06,490
tall brunettes.
1088
00:25:07,200 --> 00:25:08,730
Well, not exclusively.
1089
00:25:08,870 --> 00:25:10,060
Historically,
1090
00:25:08,870 --> 00:25:10,060
yes, exclusively.
1091
00:25:10,140 --> 00:25:11,770
He said he didn't like her.
1092
00:25:10,140 --> 00:25:11,770
So, it's over.
1093
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:17,140
Okay. Well,
1094
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:17,140
I'm going to keep trying,
1095
00:25:11,840 --> 00:25:17,140
because you are incredible.
1096
00:25:17,240 --> 00:25:18,910
Thank you.
1097
00:25:19,050 --> 00:25:20,740
And you deserve
1098
00:25:19,050 --> 00:25:20,740
someone amazing
1099
00:25:21,120 --> 00:25:23,310
and smart and beautiful.
1100
00:25:23,750 --> 00:25:25,080
Thank you.
1101
00:25:25,520 --> 00:25:26,510
A real goddess.
1102
00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:27,640
Exactly.
1103
00:25:26,650 --> 00:25:27,640
Mmm.
1104
00:25:29,620 --> 00:25:32,620
Hey, what about Shelly
1105
00:25:29,620 --> 00:25:32,620
from the health food store?
1106
00:25:32,830 --> 00:25:34,800
I don't know who that is.
1107
00:25:32,830 --> 00:25:34,800
Her brother died
1108
00:25:32,830 --> 00:25:34,800
climbing Everest.
1109
00:25:34,860 --> 00:25:35,890
Great.
1110
00:25:34,860 --> 00:25:35,890
Interesting, right?
1111
00:25:35,960 --> 00:25:36,950
No.
1112
00:25:37,460 --> 00:25:39,060
Nice job, Jerry.
1113
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,960
You look like
1114
00:25:39,200 --> 00:25:40,960
Enrique Iglesias.
1115
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,000
I just wish I had more time.
1116
00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:43,000
Why?
1117
00:25:43,870 --> 00:25:47,140
This is amazing.
1118
00:25:43,870 --> 00:25:47,140
It looks like me,
1119
00:25:43,870 --> 00:25:47,140
and I look awesome.
1120
00:25:47,470 --> 00:25:51,040
Is your penis between
1121
00:25:47,470 --> 00:25:51,040
the front arms
1122
00:25:47,470 --> 00:25:51,040
or the back legs?
1123
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,270
Yeah, where is
1124
00:25:51,250 --> 00:25:53,270
your penis?
1125
00:25:53,650 --> 00:25:55,170
Damn it, Jerry!
1126
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:59,910
Gayle, I know Jerry
1127
00:25:55,920 --> 00:25:59,910
is your husband.
1128
00:26:00,250 --> 00:26:02,050
Look, I can
1129
00:26:00,250 --> 00:26:02,050
promise you there's
1130
00:26:02,190 --> 00:26:04,020
absolutely nothing
1131
00:26:02,190 --> 00:26:04,020
going on between us.
1132
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,150
No. No, I did not
1133
00:26:04,560 --> 00:26:07,150
pose for that painting,
1134
00:26:07,430 --> 00:26:08,920
but thank you
1135
00:26:07,430 --> 00:26:08,920
for thinking I did.
1136
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:11,990
Okay. Sure. Hold on.
1137
00:26:12,230 --> 00:26:15,130
Gayle, sweetheart,
1138
00:26:12,230 --> 00:26:15,130
you have nothing
1139
00:26:12,230 --> 00:26:15,130
to worry about.
1140
00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:19,230
Okay? I'm not gay,
1141
00:26:15,500 --> 00:26:19,230
neither is Jerry,
1142
00:26:19,370 --> 00:26:20,740
and I didn't pose for him.
1143
00:26:20,970 --> 00:26:23,840
I promise you, hon,
1144
00:26:20,970 --> 00:26:23,840
Jerry only has eyes for you.
1145
00:26:25,410 --> 00:26:27,180
And pound cake. Am I right?
62054
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