Original subtitles

BEEPING

What do you think? Honest opinion?

Mm...

Too desperate.

Are you sure? I mean, I was going for intriguing.

They love that word. Intriguing.

You have no idea how hard it is to date

when they find out I'm, you know...

..a cop.

T, are you OK?

T, what happened?

You ain't allowed to question a minor.

Chill, sista.

Tanika was just helping me out.

- I was hoping for her mum. - She's out.

- What time's she back? - Late.

Like 2pm.

Can we go?

Can we go?

Yeah.

Yeah. OK.

Go.

I'll come check her tomorrow.

See that everything's kosher, cos, you know, Gavin Hewson is

a known drug dealer, but who says drug dealers can't have lives, eh?

That they can't be chilling with underage black kids

whose mum is suspiciously absent?

Come, we've got to get our bus.

Cool!

Tomorrow, yeah? Yeah, cool.

QUIETLY: I'm good enough.

I'm good enough.

Black is good.

Black is beautiful.

I can be anything I want.

I am a queen.

I know this interview could change everything.

So let me know how you're doing.

Think of me and channel my energy.

You got this.

Promise you'll call.

There's some lovely work here.

I adore how seamless the wigs look.

Thank you.

And Kim Meg'han has given you a glowing reference.

What made you focus so heavily on wigs?

We're seeing a lot more black women embracing

their hair's natural versatility.

Being more authentic.

I love all sorts of hairstyles.

But wigs are authentic, too.

How so?

I suppose I'll say what my mum used to say to me.

She said, wigs are a symptom of the racial

and inherited racial trauma black women experience.

I, and women like me,

are authentically living this experience.

Interesting.

And what would Tiana Sutton say?

I would say...

I would say I'm a teenager and I love fashion.

Lupita. Lupita. Actress.

Um, dark. Beautiful face.

Short.

Natural. Oh, she's beautiful.

Beautiful.

Don't you just adore this? Pushes boundaries.

She's such a mouthpiece for your culture.

Yeah, and so is Beyonce.

I'm sorry?

Beyonce.

She's a mouthpiece and she wears a wig.

Look, I'm sorry, I didn't...

I was just trying to relate it to the whole black trauma thing.

Yes.

Yes, I get it.

BEEPING

Urgh.

The rest is outside the flat.

How's Tanika? Is she OK?

Come near us again and I'll shop you in myself.

Shit! Fuck!

You want to give me heart failure?

Sorry.

What are you doing here?

You know I've always got your back.

So how'd it go?

Sweet chilli, hot chilli or just plain chilli?

You don't need them, anyway.

I do need them.

I really do.

Your mum's gone AWOL again, ain't she?

Why didn't you say nothing?

I thought I could hold it together by myself until she came back.

You want a lift home?

Not just yet.

OK.

Come here.

I didn't bring any fruit cos the doctor

I spoke to was talking like you could only imbibe through a straw.

Doctor says there's no obvious swelling on the brain.

FYI, I'm telling everyone it was a botched hit job

and you're wanted by the Albanians.

Mum, I need somewhere to stay.

Sorry.

I've got some American bulldog breeders in your room

and the gig's really lucrative.

Anyway, accommodation should be the last thing on your mind.

You were beaten up whilst in possession of a stolen car, Gavin.

With your suspended sentence for intent to supply

hanging over you like the Sword of Damocles.

I'd be putting all my efforts into getting the stolen car charge

dropped before the cops come round and arrest you.

- Stolen car? - Well, whose car was it?

Can...? Can you pass me my phone?

I can't be an accessory.

It's right there.

Fucking hell.

Language, Gavin.

Oh, I hope you ain't calling Paul.

He's never been one to rely on in a crisis.

It ain't Paul.

OK, guys. So I'm kicking back with someone you might know.

Oh, check out these abs, guys.

So, I know what you're thinking. "He looks familiar."

And you're right.

It's Chicken Boy. And we are official!

Hi, everyone.

And he's got to keep ripped,

cos my man was out yesterday, yeah, and he was getting, like, mobbed.

I weren't being mobbed.

Ah, you're so humble.

Oh, and this is...

..our little baby.

Aw, she's so cute! Aw!

Isn't she just so...?

- Ow! - You OK?

That chicken is, like, possessed!

Babe, what are you on about?

I know you love it, yeah?

But I've got a sense for these things

and I know that there is something not right!

Rome, what are you talking about?

Rome, wait!

So what you're saying is that your mum came home from work,

threw Gavin Hewson out, then went back to work

- and left you two here home alone? - Yes.

OK. Only your sister said she'd be back here for two.

She won't be back now because she's already been back.

I'm still happy just chilling.

Yeah, ain't got much on anyway.

No school today?

We're revising.

That's what we called it in my day, too.

Do you mind if I have a look around?

- Where were you last night? - What?

Calm yourself, bruv.

This isn't me. I ain't saying it.

I know all brothers don't look alike.

But I have to ask because a witness has said they saw someone

fitting your description running away from the scene.

What do you mean, fitting my description?

- She's profiling you, babe. - No, no. That's not what I'm doing.

- It weren't me. - Cool.

It's just with you and your sisters only recently living with

a known drug dealer, you've got to cover all bases.

You get what I'm saying?

Yeah. OK.

- I know. - I mean, I'm not the one suggesting

that it was you who beat up Gavin, stole his drugs

whilst your kid sister kept lookout from the car,

- and then threw him out of this house. - What?

Oh, my days! Guys, you will never believe what's just happened.

Chicken Boy is being racially profiled

in his own home.

And it's, like, no joke.

Excuse me? Do you know who this is?

Can you stop filming?

Er, it's Chicken Boy.

And he's like an actual superhero.

Or is that a disguise?

Taser! Taser! Taser!

Chill! Chill! Nothing happened.

Nothing happened.

What just happened here was completely within my rights.

Can you stop filming?!

Because something's going on here,

and it's my job to protect you kids, and myself in the process.

OK.

That's how it's going to be.

If your mum doesn't contact me by this evening, I'll have to

call social services and put you and your sister in emergency care.

You better delete that.

It's done.

She better call me.

- VIDEO: - Taser! Taser! Taser!

- Oh, my God, babe. VIDEO: - Chill!

This is it!

- VIDEO: - Nothing happened! - This, this is going to go viral.

This is going to be so big!

What?

Babe, this is totally going to launch our brand.

I need you to go.

- What? - I need you to... Get the fuck out! Go! Go!

DOOR CLOSES

Hello! Hello!

Ms Jenkins.

When are you going to teach me your cool moves?

Listen, Tanika...

..after much thought, I've realised

it's not fair on the other children,

coaching you for our talent contest.

I admit, I was...

I was swayed by your arguments...

..but you're doing pretty well on your own...

Why are you being like this?

I'm not being like anything.

You are.

Why don't you like me any more?

I do like you, I just...

I don't... I don't want to interfere.

You're such a special girl.

I don't want to be special.

You said you would love to have a daughter like me.

That's what you said.

So why are you being so mean?

Because I'm your teacher.

I'm not your mother.

You have a mother.

Is anything the matter?

I'm so sorry.

Carry on.

OK, so who's your dream guy?

And Jamie Hutchinson don't count, cos he's, like, real.

Jamie Hutchinson ain't even in the line-up.

Hold up. Rewind.

- What? - It's over.

It didn't even start.

Hello? What happened to your date?

Nothing happened.

I knew mans was no good.

Hanging around all the fucking time like some Romeo of Venice.

I mean, who does that? And the I-got-no-game lines.

"Why can't you let someone be nice to you?"

It's fine, Shanice.

I'm fine.

It weren't him, it was me.

I don't know.

Maybe I just have too much on.

What you need is a break from everything.

A night out.

I can't.

When was the last time we went out?

It was, like, forever ago.

SHANICE CLEARS HER THROAT

Peruvian virgin.

Please don't degrade yourself with bribery.

Oh, there's something seriously wrong with you, you know.

Like, seriously.

PHONE BUZZES

You are having a break.

Phone off limits.

No more worrying.

Let Tionne be in charge.

We're going...

We're going...

THEY LAUGH

Why's Feelgood's stuff outside?

Cos he don't live here no more.

Does Tiana know you done this? Has she called?

She promised she would call me.

T, why hasn't she called?

Maybe cos you ask too many questions.

I'm being serious.

Just leave me alone.

Did that weird cop come?

I said leave me alone, T.

In the real house, there's going to be, like, an observatory

in the garden, like on the roof.

It's going to be sick.

When are you going to grow up and stop believing in this bullshit?

Just leave me the fuck alone!

DOOR OPENS

Hey.

Good day?

It was OK.

Just OK?

It was fine.

Anything you want to talk about?

Not really. I'm just, you know, tired.

Nice?

Three weeks.

A coach.

We take our bikes.

We follow the route of the Tour de France.

Drink wine,

stuff ourselves with French food.

See some spectacular views.

We need a break.

OK.

We're going to get through this.

JAZZY MUSIC PLAYS

Oh.

- It's you. - Hey.

- Why have you got a key? - Tionne gave it me.

Is he OK?

Depends what you mean by OK.

You look cute.

Thanks.

Tionne?

Will you let me in?

Tionne?

I'm sorry.

You know, about the way that stupid cop treated you.

I was 110% unsupportive.

But we can't let them stop us building our brand.

We've got to show them that we're better than them, babe.

We can't let them win.

He won't listen to me either.

Just that chicken.

I hate that chicken.

Maybe we should speak to your mum?

She's in Spain, right?

Yeah...

Yeah.

I'm here to see Gavin Hewson.

It's family only.

He's my brother.

Hey-hey!

- Argh! - Sorry, mate.

- Argh! - Sorry.

So, when Rory arrives

we'll make him drop the stolen car charges.

Where'd you get the K from?

New contact. Doctor.

He works at the hospital.

Nephrology.

GRUNTING

You see who did it?

What, you think it was a set-up?

Seems a bit of a coincidence, otherwise.

It's showtime.

Argh!

Fuck.

Call the police and tell them to drop the charges.

This has nothing to do with me, Feelgood.

I never reported the car stolen.

I believe it was you who got yourself arrested.

Fucking call them.

Do you really think this is wise? Theft and assault?

I ain't the one doing the assault.

Right, well, you're an accessory, then.

Honestly, Feelgood, no-one here is intimidated.

And I've got the police on speed dial.

And they were very helpful, actually.

They said to call them if anything like this...

- Ah! - What the fuck are you doing?

I'm sorry. These self-entitled pricks always trigger me.

How much did you fucking give him?

I don't know. I couldn't think. It's his voice.

It's his face. It's all of it, actually.

OK. One question.

How the fuck is he going to call the police?

MUSIC: Whine & Kotch by J Capri & Charly Black

I can't feel my hands and feet.

Why can't I feel my hands and feet?

Yeah, that's the drugs.

I need a hug.

- Give him a hug. - What?

Give him a fucking hug.

Come here.

Oh, that... That's nice.

Right. Will you call the police, tell them you made a little mistake?

Your car was not stolen.

Paul, Paul! Passcode, passcode?

What's your passcode, Rory?

Er...

1984.

- Then star. - Paul!

PHONE RINGS

Hello, Waltham Police Station.

How can I help?

Hey.

Rory? Rory!

- Hello, are you there, caller? - Can you say, "Gavin Hewson

"did not steal my car.

"The Subaru. It was a mistake."

- Can you do that? - Hello?

Gavin Hewson did not steal my car.

The Subaru. It was a mistake.

Can you do that?

Who's speaking, please?

Er, Rory Griffin.

- Yeah! - Yes!

Go on! Fucking yes, Rory!

Are we in a white club or am I hallucinating?

Hey!

Like I've got a clue what happens on weeknights.

- I asked Lisa. - Players is like the biggest kept secret in town.

Is that Jamie Hutchinson?

Did you know he was going to be here tonight?

I've got you, girl.

You know I'm a yellow belt in karate.

OK. You were seven, Shanice.

Those moves are ingrained in you for life.

Hold up, is this white brother eye-fucking you?

Shut up! He's not eye-fucking me.

He is so eye-fucking you!

It's the universe speaking, fam.

TUNE CHANGES

Oh!

Oh, my God! This is a tune!

I might pull up in the Maserati, Maserati

Maybe the Bugatti, Bugatti, mm

Ducati, Ducati

They telling me I'm too flashy, too flashy

Pull up in the Maserati, Maserati

Maybe the Bugatti, Bugatti, mm

Ducati, Ducati

They telling me I'm too flashy, too flashy

Either way, vroom

Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom

Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom

Vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom, vroom...

Wahey!

Why didn't no-one tell me my eyelash was hanging off?

Do you think that guy noticed?

ALL: Yeah!

- No fucking way! - What? - What?

You'll never guess who texted me.

The director from the video shoot!

Shut the fuck up!

What man can resist all of dis?

You're going to do the dutty, I'm contemplating doing the dutty.

Did I promise you a banging night,

or did I promise you a banging night?

OK, we're not going to do the dutty, though!

You are so going to do the dutty!

She is so doing the dutty.

CHANTING: Doing the dutty! Doing the dutty! Doing the dutty!

GIGGLING

Thank God. I'm busting.

Thank you for today.

Thank you for every day.

I love you, babe. Come here.

Mwah! Mwah!

I think you're stalking me now.

My friends brought me here.

- I wouldn't have come... - I'm joking.

It's lit, though.

Thanks.

- THEY SPEAK AT ONCE: - What are you drinking?

I'm buying for me and my mate.

Yeah, that's fine.

- For Shanice, yeah? - Yeah.

- Rich? - Yeah? - Can I get three shots,

SHANICE SQUEALING

This is mad! Come on!

LAUGHTER

Why are you still here?

Should never go to bed on an argument, bae.

We left you some pizza.

Thanks.

CHANTING: La-hal... La-hal...

- What are you doing? - My great nan was a voodoo priestess.

There was this cat that kept scratching our legs and faces

and she did this chant and it stopped.

This chicken is possessed.

La-hal... La-hal...

- Give her back! - You don't need it, bae.

I know you're upset cos your mum left you, but you got me now.

And I'll never leave you. You can talk to me.

I can guide you.

- La-hal... - She ain't left. - La-hal...

Well, where is she then?

Cos when I said about her being in Spain, Tanika agreed.

She ain't in Paris.

Why'd you tell her mum's in Spain?

I didn't! I didn't tell her! You did!

- Give her back! - Rome's right.

The chicken's bad! I hate it.

It scratches your feet and makes you mad.

- Mum wouldn't do that! - Tanika! Give her back!

You're scaring me.

I just want the old you back.

Don't come any closer!

CHANTING CONTINUES

Or I'll drop her!

- Hurry up and finish! - CHANTING REACHES CRESCENDO

It's gone!

She's been exorcised.

Ow!

CHICKEN SQUAWKS

No!

I'm sorry, T! I'm sorry!

I'll tell you what I want, what I really, really want

So tell me what you want, what you really, really want

I want to ah, I want to ah, I want to ah, I want to ah

I want to really, really, really want to zigazig-ah

If you wanna be my lover

You gotta get with my friends

Make it last forever, friendship never ends.

You know, I'm going to adopt those kids. I've decided.

What? Even the big one?

Well, not her, obviously.

- The middle one hates you. - I'm going to win him over

with driving lessons.

What do you think, Rory? I bet you had driving lessons

when you turned 17.

- Mum! - Chicken!

Mum! Please?!

Chicken!

Why's he keep calling her Mum?

Chicken!

- Chicken! - Ah! There she is!

- She's alive, T! - Mum!

Chicken...

Chicken...

How are you feeling?

Fucking let me out!

- Huh? - Whoa, whoa. Where the fuck are your fingers?

SCREAMING

Where are my fucking fingers, guys?

Where's my fucking fingers, guys?

Sit down, OK? We'll find your fingers. Don't worry.

- Gavin! - Take a breath. What?

Shit.

What did you do?

What did you fucking do?!

Stop it! Stop it!

I hate you! I fucking hate you!

Oh, go home, Rome.

Just go the fuck home.

Oh, nah, you've got to be joking me!

Yeah, I know.

But the subletting is quite cheap.

Oh, cos I thought you was going to tell me

you's a fucking prince or something.

You'd love that, wouldn't ya?

You want a drink?

I can reheat that meal from last night if you want.

- You ain't going to let me forget it, are ya? - Er, no.

Come on. We'll go upstairs.

How did that big interview go?

Certain topics are off-limits tonight.

Including that one.

Thank you.

And box sets.

And bad dates.

- I don't have bad dates. - Oh.

Nah, there'll be other jobs.

Don't know.

For some people it seems like everything just falls into place.

Like everything's so shiny, so on track.

Like, all they have to do is show up.

Listen, I'm not here just cos you're beautiful

- and you got a banging body. - Ugh!

OK, I'm lying, it actually is!

But I believe in you.

I wasn't sure if you wanted to see me again after last night.

You showing up made my night.

- Champagne? - Oui.

Ah.

HE BARKS

SHE PURRS

Et voila.

Woo!

THEY GIGGLE

- Pour vous, madame. - Merci.

- Mm-mm! - C'est bon?

God, I've missed you.

In French. In French.

Mon Dieu...

- Putain... - Putain...

Putain, tu me manquais...

KNOCKING

I will get rid of them.

Tanika? What? What's going on? How did you get here?

Ms Jenkins.

Everything's gone wrong.

I haven't heard from my sister.

I don't think she got the job.

And I killed my brother's chicken.

I know why you said what you said,

cos you thought it was my mum, but it ain't.

My mum's dead.

She died weeks ago.

So now you can be my mum, Ms Jenkins.

Help me.

Please, help me.

I just need your help.

- Well, well, I once believed - Too late, too late

- All fellas were nice - Too late, too late

- But, girls, listen to me - Too late, too late

- Take my advice - Too late, too late

Girls, you'd better get yourselves on the right track

Cos finding a good man, girls, is like finding a

- Needle in a haystack - What did I say, girls?

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