Original subtitles

This programme contains some strong language and adult humour.

COCKEREL CROWS

I like killing things.

I think I'm good at it.

Remember how I killed that mouse with the boiling water?

Look, we don't want to kill it. We want to catch it.

Oh. Thought you said "kill".

Why would I want to kill a chicken?

You've been off lately.

So I thought you wanted to kill this chicken to express your anger.

That's a bit extreme, you don't think?

That's what I thought.

BARKING

Shit! Come on!

No, quick.

THEY LAUGH

Shh!

WHISPERING: Sorry, sorry.

Ah! One of them bit me!

It ain't funny, Tiana!

You're such an idiot!

Do you think the different kind of feathers

is like a different kind of race?

Oi!

Shit! Quick!

I got it!

GIGGLING

Hands off that chicken!

You can't win, child

We've all tried to

You've been lied to, it's already inside you

Either you run right now or you best get ready to die

- You better - Move

- I said - Move

Ooh, good Lord

- Ah! - Run away

- Ah! - Run away

- Ah! - Run, children

- Ah! - Run for your life

- Ah! - Run away

- Ah! - Run away

- Ah! - Run, children

- Ah! - Oh!

- Here it comes, said run - Ah!

URINATING

Tionne, we need to act normal.

Do you want them to split us up?

They're going to split us up and adopt me

because I'm young and pretty.

And they'll keep you in a home, cos you look like you got problems.

Is that what you want?

Mum left us, T.

She's gone.

Hi. It's Jackie Sutton here.

Yeah, Tionne's mum.

Tionne ain't coming in today.

Yeah. He's still the same.

Yeah, sorry, um...

Yeah, he'll need a homework pack.

No, no, no. I'll get his sister, Tiana, to come pick it up.

- It's all right. - Tiana!

Tionne's not getting up and you said we have to carry on as normal...

Oh...

It's OK.

- So, you got it? - Yeah.

It's so cute!

- Did you do your wash-down? - Yeah.

- You do your neck? - Yes.

- Your armpits? - Yes.

- Your punana? - Yes-uh!

You ain't.

You're a liar, cos you ain't.

- Joker. - Joker.

Well, I got it, T.

Like you wanted.

So, what'd you think?

T? It's as fresh as fresh as fresh.

Is that what you need for your experiment?

Tionne, come on! Snap out of it.

Taskmaster burst The bionic zit splitter

Breakneck speed We drown ten pints of bitter

We lean all day And some say that ain't productive

But that depends upon the...

MUSIC PLAYS FAINTLY

You should've seen me, y'know.

Climbing over that fence at City Farm like...

Wait, what's his name?

- Jackie Chan? - Jackie Chan in Rush Hour.

Oh, my gosh, I was doing some...

War, huh, yeah

What is it good for?

Absolutely...

Nothing, sing it again

War...

You're annihilating it.

Anyway. Come, let's get you ready.

- You've got to see my dance first. - Oh, later.

It's quick!

MUSIC: If It's Lovin' That You Want by Rihanna

OK. Cool, erm...

SHE LAUGHS

Don't do that. Cos you look cheap.

I'm meant to.

OK, remember the shimmy before you drop down, yeah?

- Mm-hm. - OK.

MUSIC RESUMES

Shimmy... Drop... And...

No, it was like... Wait.

Like a little....

Then you drop down, drop down.

Ooh, OK!

Oh, oh, oh...

OK, cool.

OK. Affirmations, yeah?

- BOTH: - I'm good enough. I'm good enough.

Black is good. Black is beautiful.

I can be anything I want.

- Mm-hm. - I am a queen.

KNOCKING

KNOCKING

It's all right. It's just me.

- Tanika! Don't. - No, don't.

Who is me?

Oh!

It's you.

Why are you at the window?

Cos I'm the window cleaner.

- Joker. - You going to let me in?

I got three gold stars on my spelling test.

- You know? - What, the commotion/promotion one?

Yep.

So, where's my token of appreciation?

- I could've got a four. - Urgh!

Where's Jackie?

At work.

She got a new job.

Where?

Cos I've been calling and calling and there's been no answer,

and normally she's all over my phone like brown on Coco Pops.

Look, can you just let me in and I'll wait for her?

OK.

Do something!

WHISPERING: T! Get back here now!

- What are you doing? - I'm handling it! Shh!

Come on, Tanika. It's just me!

- Ow! - Tanika!

- Help! Help! - Tanika! - Tanika!

- Argh! - You going to tell me the truth, Tanika?

- Get off her! - Get off her! - Open

- Get off her! - Get off!

- What are you doing? - She in there?

Look, she can't talk.

She incapable?

Then why didn't you just say instead of messing me about?

There's no point if she's incapable, is there? Is there?

No.

Tell her... Tell her if she ain't willing to pick up her phone

and talk to me like I'm a civilised human being,

and tell me that she's got what she owes, then...

Just tell her.

Go on, take it. Take it to school or something.

And well done on your spelling.

She's got till six this evening.

After that I get serious.

OK. Right, laters.

You OK?

- Are you sure? - Yes-uh!

Tionne, how much does she owe?

200.

OK.

OK, I'll fix it.

But never falling six feet deep

I'm out for presidents to represent me

Say what?

I'm out for presidents to represent me...

How come Tionne don't have to go to school?

Don't start, T.

- Hello! - Hey! Did your mum go crazy about the chicken?

- Oh, yeah, man. - Oh, what did she say?

It's not messing up the place.

Take it back.

Reh-teh-teh.

God, my head.

- You know, I'm still buzzing, right? You still buzzing? - I'm so buzzing.

You come up with some crazy shit.

So, how are we today?

OK.

SONG CHANGES

Oh! Oh, turn it up.

T, come on, you love this song!

A scrub is a guy that thinks he's fly and is also known as a busta

Always talkin' about what he wants, he just sits on his broke...

So no, I don't want your number

No, I don't want to give you mine

And no, I don't want to meet you nowhere

No, I don't want none of your time

No, I don't want no scrub

A scrub is a guy that can't get no love from me

- Hangin' out the passenger side... - Hey!

Of his best friend's ride trying to holla at me...

KNOCKING

KNOCKING

BELL RINGS

Slowly. Slowly!

Essential as you try to reposition the body after embalming.

This is because as soon as the animal dies, it enters

the state of rigor mortis, which only delays the process.

As you need to flex and massage the very front of the body

in order to relax the muscles.

Now, onto the next stage.

Once the animal is prepared,

you'll be required to make an incision in the jugular vein,

as well as the carotid artery, which can prove to be a little tricky.

So, take your time as you don't want to make a mistake...

CHICKEN PURRS

- WOMAN'S VOICE: - T.

Tionne.

So, what you saying about that cash?

How much? 10? 20?

I was thinking more 150.

Or you could just round it up to two.

200? What's it for?

It don't matter what it's for.

Your dad's rich. You said he gives you whatever money you want.

And it ain't like I won't pay you back.

Listen, I want to lend you the money, I really do,

but my dad says I have to stop being a Beyonce and stop carrying ya.

- Your dad said you're Beyonce? - Yeah.

Yeah, well, you can tell him I ain't Michelle or the other one.

Who bought all the essential oils for the business? All the shellac?

What happened to,

"We is going places, we is going places"?

Fight!

CHANTING: Fight! Fight! Fight! Fight!

Get off!

Ow, my extensions!

Get off-uh!

- CHANTING: Fight! Fight! Fight! - Ow!

Stop it! Stop it!

Tanika! Deputy Head's office, now! Disney, Kimone, here.

They started it.

Tanika did, miss.

- Look at my hair, miss. - It ain't real!

I'm not going to repeat myself.

Well, hang on, Mrs Kitley. We didn't actually see what...

I saw enough, Miss Jenkins.

Tanika. Go.

- TANIKA SUCKS HER TEETH - That's another red card right there!

It's a chicken.

Just a chicken.

You're a chicken.

- WOMAN'S VOICE: - Tionne! It's me.

I'm OK.

What did you say?

What's wrong?

It's OK if you can't kill it.

It don't matter.

Look, I know it hurts.

But all this ain't going to help.

She ain't coming back, T.

Maybe you should stop. Just focus on something else.

- Something else? - We need to be really together.

Like you said, yeah?

Like we said.

Keep our heads down till I turn 18,

then I can look after you both officially.

Tionne?

T, listen, I ain't sure I can hold everything together on my own.

Did you get the money?

No, not yet.

Maybe you should focus on that, then.

Once an incision has been made, the next step is to put the cannula

inside the carotid artery and then another into the jugular vein.

DOOR SHUTS

You are the only one I adore, child

That is why I'll sleep at your door

Even if it takes all night

I won't let you out of...

Hi. I'm studying Health and Beauty at Hockley College.

We're offering eyelash extensions or massages at a discount.

- Is it free? - No, it's at a discount.

- How much? - It's 20 for nails.

Oh. Right. You'd better come in, then.

You do know it ain't free, right?

Yeah, of course.

I'm sorry, hello?

Go away or I'll call the police.

But you stole from me.

Prove it!

This ain't over, bitch!

Tanika?

Is it home time?

Not yet.

I've brought you some work.

Why?

Because this is school and that's what we do.

What's going on with you three?

You used to be such good friends.

Yeah. Used to.

Nothing.

Sounds like it.

Does this face look like it's lying?

You're such a clever girl, Tanika.

That story you wrote about the Neanderthals was so good.

Why do you ride to school on an old bike?

It's not an old bike. It's a new bike.

It just looks old.

Seems a bit mad, miss.

Well, I'm a bit out there, I suppose.

So, do you, like, go out riding after school

with your children, miss?

I don't have children.

Oh. Ain't you sad?

No.

Besides, I... I...

I have nieces.

Why'd you stick up for me?

Because sometimes people

treat other people in this world unfairly.

And that's not right.

You were treated unfairly.

You're really pretty, miss.

I'm so not!

You are.

I just think, you know...

My chin.

Nothing's wrong with your chin.

Is it not too pointed?

You're very pretty.

You're like the prettiest person I've ever seen.

Enough now. Read.

KNOCKING

Mi thank God fi di journey Di earnings a jus fi di plus

- Yeah, yeah - And gratitude is a must

Mi see blessings fall by mi right hand

Buss a toast fi di friends weh tek off heavy load

One time did siddung ina class and we bored

Then Oli say do road and mi gwaan wid di road.

- Sorry. - No, it's all right.

I might actually want what you're selling.

- False eyelashes? - Yeah, just up my street.

How much?

Ten?

But I do other things as well.

Sports massage, reflexology.

Do you want to come in?

I'm doing beauty at Hockley College.

But I'm working towards having my own salon.

Have like three, four girls working under me.

Speciality's going to be make-up, naturally.

So you like to dream big, then.

There ain't no other way to dream, is there?

Are those yours or your aunt's? The records?

No, they're mine.

What's your scene, then? Drum and bass?

Afrobeats?

Has to be Afrobeats, come on.

Come on.

I like me old school.

You know, like jungle, drum and bass, garage.

Yeah, I know.

I've seen you down Moonlight.

Yeah, I've noticed you, too.

No, I'm serious.

You're usually with that leery girl who can't hold her drink.

OK, watch your mouth, cos that's my best friend you're chatting about.

- All right, my bad. - Yeah. Thank you.

Playing a set Saturday night.

Can guest list you and your mate, if you want?

Thanks, but being a groupie ain't my style.

I don't date groupies.

What, so we're talking about a date?

Maybe.

Another time.

Sorry, can I have a glass of water, please?

Yeah.

DOOR SHUTS

- Action - Not a bag a mouth

- Sweet - Loving make de gal dem bruk out

- Action - Not a bag a mouth

- Sweet - Loving make de gal dem bruk out

You think you are so fine

Big chat nuh work, gal Man watch de time.

He put me in detention even though it was me and the other two girls...

- What? - ..that had the situation. - So, what happened to the other...

- Wait, Mum! You have a spider on you! - Argh! Jeez!

LAUGHTER

BELL RINGS

- How did it go? - Good.

- Mm-hm. - Good, good.

Hi! Hi, I'm Miss Jenkins.

I'm Tanika's teacher.

I've taken over year five.

- And you are? - I'm her sister. Tiana.

Oh, well, nice to meet you, Tiana.

I just thought I should let you know,

Tanika was involved in a small altercation with her friends,

Disney and Kimone, and was held in detention.

It ain't my fault.

No, I know, Tanika.

It really wasn't, but another teacher dealt with it.

I was wondering if I could speak to your mother.

Why?

No, I mean, if you've sorted out the fight, then...?

Oh, well, it's just a "get to know you" chat.

I've not made her acquaintance yet and it's been more than a term.

She's busy.

She works a lot.

A quick phone call would do.

If you could let her know I'll be calling her.

What time's best?

Mornings.

Great! Well, it was nice to meet you, Tamena.

Tamana! Er, Tanika!

OK, it's Tiana.

Yes, so sorry.

Tiana. Tanika...

The names, they sound so...

So sorry.

Let's go.

- WHISPERING: - Hey, hey.

Chicken, chicken? Where are you?

Once the chicken's head goes off,

he's going to run from that barbecue to that yellow...

yellow bin thing, whatever it is, all right?

What are you doing? She's mine!

Give her back!

She's yours!

LAUGHTER

So guys, you serious, man?

It's just going to squirt everywhere.

Let's see how far you run, eh?

Oi!

You sure you can take this?

Oi! This sprayer is filled with an alcoholic solution.

Coupled with the fact that your clothes stink like they've

been saturated with month old cider, you'll go up in seconds.

- Nah, come on! - You ain't got the feckin' bollocks.

Try me.

Go on.

Make my day.

Tionne! What are you doing?

They're going to kill her!

Just leave it. It's not worth it.

The chicken's mine. Bertha and me go way back.

- CHILD: - Do it!

CHANTING

Do it! Do it!

Yeah, torch 'em!

Yeah, do it! Do it!

It's just a chicken!

He's going to do it.

CHANTING: Do it! Do it! Do it!

Feck off, all of yous!

CHEERING

Hey, you're safe now.

You're safe.

I got the money for Feelgood.

And I got us those ham and cheese batons you like.

You love batons, don't you, T?

Pssshhh!

Go on. Make my day.

How are we going to live?

We've got Mum's Universal Credit.

And I can get a job.

But what about college?

I'll still go to college.

T, it'll be fine.

We'll be fine.

I'm scared.

In the real house, yeah?

The real house.

Feels weird doing it without her.

I know.

But she would want us to, wouldn't she, T?

In the real house, we're going to have a swimming pool.

And a housekeeper, and a cordon bleu chef.

I don't want a chef.

I want McDonald's home delivery every day

with strawberry millions and cheese strings.

OK, well, I'll get you a fridge full of 'em.

- Like, how big? - Like this big.

- And when you open the fridge, Stormzy comes on. - Wizkid.

Mum always said Wizkid.

Wizkid.

And we're going to have a garden and a swimming pool.

You already said swimming pool.

And a big dance studio with mirrors all looking down at me.

And a toilet each, with a shower.

Listen, all your friends are going to come round, y'know.

All that's my room over there, yeah?

Both our rooms.

Cos we got the best clothes and tings!

- Ugg boots. - Yeah!

Like the real ones.

Not the ones that go all mashup after one day.

Oh, listen, you ain't getting no side Uggs.

- Cos my feet ain't getting wet in the rain. - Mm-mm. Mm-mm.

In the real house...

..we're going to be together and happy.

In the real house, there's going to be a room with Mum still there.

TANIKA HUMS

Hey, dance routine.

You know what I'm going to do, innit?

What?

Come here, man!

It's all right. I left it open.

Where is she? And don't give me any "incapable" shit,

cos she ain't in her room.

She looks like she ain't been in there for a bit...

What's the chicken for?

Listen, I'm only being nice cos you're her kids, yeah,

- but I'm sick of her shit. - Well, as you already said,

she ain't here!

She's gone.

For good this time.

What'd you mean - for good?

She left us for a man.

A rich man with nice hands and snakeskin shoes.

A rich man? You mean a pimp?

No, a businessman.

With a car. A Beamer.

A 4x4 Beamer.

She ain't coming back this time.

- It's love. - So, Jackie's abandoned you lot for a man

- with a second-hand Beamer? - Well, it weren't second-hand.

- It was brand-new. - Oh, and that makes a difference, does it?

Look, that's 180. I can get you the rest tomorrow.

She owes 350.

Lie! She told me 200.

Hark. It speaks.

What is all this, T? What you doing?

Leave it alone!

Oi, do you put your todger in this bit here?

Oh-oh!

- Give it back! - It's a joke.

Can't you take a fucking joke? Jesus.

- Seriously, what's it for? - It's for school! An experiment.

Yeah? Well, I'll take it.

I'll give you 20 quid for it.

You can knock it off what Jackie owes me.

She said I'd meet you in the nail shop.

She said! She said!

Sending you out to do her dirty work.

See, if I was looking after you, Tiana, I'd...

Anyway, she's irresponsible.

- She ain't irresponsible. - Oh, she's a waste of space.

- She's leaving you lot like this. - She ain't a waste of space!

What the fuck?

No! Tionne, run!

No, what are you doing! Leave him alone!

Leave him!

- Just stop it! - Leave him! - Get in the bathroom!

He's going to see, T! He's going to see!

Get the fuck off me!

He's going to bust it down!

She ain't there no more.

What? Jackie? She in there?

What do you mean, she ain't there?

She's in the chicken.

That's why I couldn't embalm it.

- Hey! Hey! - Quick! Quick!

- Hold the door! - Let me out! - He's like twice my size. Come on!

Urgh! What are you...?

What are you doing?

Argh! Argh! No!

T! Let me out, mate! Tionne! Tionne, bro, please!

Let me out, man! Tionne! Tionne!

Let me out, Tionne! Tiana!

Tiana, please let me out! Please!

What the fuck are you doing? That's your mum! That's your mum!

Ah!

Please let me out, I'm sorry. Guys, I won't tell anyone, please.

Please! Please, let me out!

Guys, please! Please!

It's so wrong what you're doing.

DISTANT BANGING AND SHOUTING

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