Original subtitles

Barber: There's a time when

you want to call a romulan's bluff,

and there's a time when you don't. Wouldn't you say?

Well, one does not always have the luxury.

Eh, you've got to choose your time and place with them.

True or false?

- Yes, wherever possible. - Well...

- Tsk. So this time you were lucky. - Hm.

Eh, I suppose all's well that ends well, but if I'd been in your shoes...

Well, you know, that really does look very nice, Mr. Mott.

- I think that will be sufficient. - Ah.

There. You know, I must tell you, captain,

will riker was in for a trim yesterday

and he agrees with me a hundred percent.

Riker: Bridge to captain picard.

- Yes? - Sorry to interrupt.

We're receiving an emergency distress signal from the solarion iv colony.

Uh, oh, that's right along the cardassian border.

Lay in a new course. I'm on my way.

I told him we shouldn't have colonized so close to the cardassians.

- Report. - The signal ended abruptly at 0455.

Unable to raise them on subspace.

Hail them on the upper and lower band frequencies, Mr. Worf.

I've tried. No response.

Time to the solarion system?

Twenty-six minutes, captain.

I understand you've been discussing

alternative adversarial engagement strategy with Mr. Mott.

It'd be more accurate to say he was discussing them with me.

He's the best barber in starfleet. What can you do?

Sir, receiving another signal

of a vessel leaving orbit of solarion iv.

New frequency, low band, audio only.

Open a channel.

Man: This is the bajora.

We claim responsibility for the destruction

of the federation colony on solarion iv.

As long as we are without our homeland,

no one will be safe in this sector.

Picard: Space, the final frontier.

These are the voyages of the starship enterprise.

Its continuing mission: To explore strange new worlds,

to seek out new life and new civilizations,

to boldly go where no one has gone before.

Picard: Captain's log, stardate 45076.3.

We have arrived at lya station Alpha with survivors from solarion iv.

Admiral kennel/y has rendezvoused to discuss the terrorist attack.

Sorry.

Ginger tea with honey, 80 degrees celsius.

Ginger tea?

My aunt Adele's cure for the common cold.

Common, hell.

I picked this up from the cardassian liaison this weekend.

It's some damn virus they've sicced on me.

Did he have anything to say about this attack?

The same old story for the cardassians.

They've had terrorist problems ever since they annexed

the bajoran home world 40 years ago.

But in 40 years, they've never attacked a federation target.

A new militant splinter group has broken away

from the bajoran settlement camps.

Leader's name is orta.

Apparently, he's willing to do whatever he has to, to get attention.

And our response?

Listen, Jean-Luc,

I'm the first to say the bajora deserve attention.

Chased off their own planet by the cardassians

forced to wander the galaxy,

settling wherever they can find room. It's tragic.

On many worlds we've been to, they're isolated, treated as pariahs.

The federation is sympathetic to their cause.

But they're not helping themselves with an attack like this.

That's what I want you to communicate to them.

But this could be done through diplomatic channels, admiral.

What do you really want of us?

Find this terrorist leader, orta.

And get him back where he belongs any way you can.

Any way I can?

The federation has dozens of settlements in that sector.

We cannot allow the violence to continue.

And what do I have to offer orta that might persuade him to cooperate?

Amnesty.

And the promise that we will immediately begin

to address this issue with the cardassians.

Quietly, behind the scenes,

using every legitimate means possible.

But the bajora must be patient.

Admiral, they've endured generations of sympathy and promises.

How can I believe that this orta

will be satisfied with more of the same?

It's your job to see to it that he does, Jean-Luc.

Riker to captain picard.

Go ahead.

Have you approved the transfer of a new officer to the enterprise?

Negative.

Well, we've got one.

Waiting to beam aboard, complete with orders.

Ensign ro laren.

Ro laren?

From the Wellington?

The very same.

Shall I tell her there's been some mistake?

Stand by, commander.

I wrote the orders.

I thought she might be valuable to you.

Admiral, respectfully, I would appreciate

consulting rights on the assigning of a new officer,

especially one with the record of r0 laren.

She's bajoran.

There are other bajorans in starfleet. Assign one of them.

I've discussed this situation with her.

And I am convinced that she is the right one for this job.

After what happened on garon ii, she has no business serving

on any starship, let alone the flagship, my ship.

You're taking her, captain.

It's been arranged.

I can't tell you how difficult it was to get her out of prison.

It's that important to you?

It's that important to the mission.

- Picard to riker. - Riker: Go ahead.

- Proceed with the transport. - Sir?

- I'll fill you in later. - Yes, sir.

I hope you and I don't regret this, admiral.

You can handle her, captain.

If anyone can.

Ensign ro laren reporting as ordered, commander.

You will follow starfleet uniform code aboard this ship, ensign.

There'll be members of this crew who will not wanna serve

with ensign laren, sir.

They will have to learn to live with it.

I intend to demand the highest level of performance from her.

I would expect nothing less.

It won't be for long, will.

Come.

Yes, ensign laren, please sit down.

- Ensign ro, sir. - I beg your pardon?

The bajoran custom has the family name first,

the individual's name second.

I am properly addressed as ensign ro.

I'm sorry, I didn't know.

No, there's no reason you should.

It's an old custom.

Most bajor these days accept the distortion of their names

in order to assimilate.

I do not.

I wish to be candid with you, ensign.

Please.

I'm fully aware of your starfleet record

and your problems on other ships.

And the incident on garon ii that led to your court-martial.

And I'm concerned about your presence on this delicate mission.

I don't want to be here any more than you want me to be here, sir.

Then why did you take this assignment?

If I may be equally candid.

It's better than prison.

Riker: Better than prison?

There are officers who wait years to serve on this ship.

Being called back into starfleet was not my idea.

Nor ours.

Nevertheless, we will all be serving together.

Commander riker and I have expectations of you.

Captain, I know the routine.

You don't have to worry about me.

We're stuck with each other.

So let's just get this over with as quickly as possible

and go our own separate ways, okay?

Dismissed.

Picard: Captain's log, supplemental.

We are approaching the valo system

on the outskirts of cardassian territory,

where many bajorans have resettled.

There are dozens of bajoran camps on the three class-m planets.

I suggest we start on valo III

where an ad hoc leader named jas holza lives.

The federation has had several dealings with him.

I met holza at a symposium a few years ago.

Picard: What can you tell us about him, doctor?

I found him to be a very concerned leader

and a good spokesman for his people.

And a terrific dancer.

No really, I'm serious.

At a reception aftennards.

At least this man has genuine experience in diplomacy.

And that's a big advantage on this mission.

Very well. Mr. Data, will you contact holza, arrange a meeting?

Yes, sir.

Ensign ro, you're familiar with the star system, you'll take the conn.

Is there a problem, ensign?

You're wasting your time.

Holza is nobody.

He's the token bajoran

that respectable people invite to symposiums and diplomatic soirees.

But he has no real influence among my people.

Ensign, whom do you suggest we speak to?

Don't you understand?

These are desperate people ready to martyr themselves.

They don't want to talk.

Well, this ship is prepared to defend itself if necessary.

Oh, it will be. Don't fool yourself.

This mission will end in bloodshed.

Well, let's hope that you're mistaken, ensign.

But can you point us at the right individual, as Mr. Data suggested?

I would go to the camp on the southern continent of valo ii.

Find a man named keeve falor.

He has no diplomatic experience,

and he won't ask you to dance.

Picard: Captain's log, supplemental.

I read about the achievements

of the ancient bajoran civilization in my fifth grade reader.

They were architects and artists, builders and philosophers,

when humans were not yet standing erect.

Now I see how history has rewarded them.

This used to be me.

Ro laren.

It's been a long time.

Keeve falor, captain Jean-Luc picard,

commander data and lieutenant worf.

I'm pleased you agreed to meet with us, Mr. Keeve.

You honor me by the proper use of my name, captain.

Ensign ro has educated me.

Has she? I'm pleased you still remember.

Let me show you our camp.

We are not a violent race, captain.

We're just passionate about our cause.

And that passion has led some to take up arms.

Do you know where we can find orta?

I'm afraid not.

Can you help us to locate him?

I'm sorry, I don't wish to help you.

Don't misunderstand.

I, for one, believe the raid on the federation outpost

was poorjudgment.

You are innocent bystanders.

And I cannot condone violence

against those who are not our enemies.

Then I don't understand why you're unwilling.

Because you are innocent bystanders.

You were innocent bystanders for decades

as the cardassians took our homes.

As they violated and tortured our people

in the most hideous ways imaginable.

As we were forced to flee.

We were saddened by those events,

but they occurred within the designated borders

of the cardassian empire.

And the federation is pledged not to interfere

in the internal affairs of others.

How convenient that must be for you.

To turn a deaf ear to those who suffer behind a line on a map.

Well, I'm not here to debate federation policy with you.

But I can offer you assistance.

Simply because of one terrorist attack?

Well,

perhaps I should have known then,

we should have attacked the federation long ago.

- What do you think of that, ro? - I think you're a small man

who feels a rush of power in his belly and enjoys it far too much, keeve.

Stop talking and listen.

We've had our problems with the cardassians too.

But now that we have a treaty, we're in a position to help.

Your people have been forced to resettle all over the quadrant.

But now, we can make a legitimate case with the cardassians.

If this is not an isolated problem,

we can work diplomatically on your behalf.

But first, these terrorist attacks must end.

We live in different universes, you and I.

Yours is about diplomacy, politics, strategy.

Mine is about blankets.

If we were to exchange places for one night,

you might better understand.

Mr. Data, see that the replicators provide a blanket

for every man, woman and child before nightfall.

- Aye, sir. - Mr. Worf,

determine what these people may have in the way of emergency needs

- and provide for them. Whorf: Yes, sir.

Thank you.

Return to your ship.

I will contact you when I have any information

that might be of assistance to you.

Ensign.

You were helpful.

The blankets were helpful.

Nothing I said mattered.

In an age when their technology

should be able to clothe and feed all of them,

that they should live like this.

I couldn't. And I wouldn't.

That's one reason I ran away.

They're lost, defeated.

I will never be.

Picard: Captain's log, stardate 45077.8.

Keeve falor has kept his promise

and directed us toward the third moon of valo I,

where we will meet tomorrow with the terrorist leader, orta.

Do you mind if we join you?

I'll tell you one thing.

If I ever find myself on an away team with ensign ro,

I won't turn my back on her.

Perhaps the captain felt she'd be valuable on the mission.

That was orders, had to be.

She doesn't belong here.

She doesn't even belong in the uniform,

as far as I'm concerned.

- Really? - Really.

Sounds like someone I'd like to know. Excuse me.

- Am I disturbing you? - Yes.

You look like someone who wants to be disturbed.

I'd rather be alone.

Oh, no, you wouldn't.

I beg your pardon?

Well, if you wanted to be alone, you would've stayed in your quarters.

The only reason to come here is to be amongst people.

Who...? Who are you?

My name is guinan.

You heard anything interesting?

Everyone's talking about you.

Heh. Heard anything interesting?

Well,

it's all true.

I believe truth is in the eye of the beholder.

Isn't that supposed to be beauty?

Truth, beauty. Works for a lot of things.

They say you never told the true story of garon ii.

They also say you didn't defend yourself at your court-martial.

What was to defend?

I didn't follow orders.

Eight members of the away team died.

Yeah. My fault.

So you sit alone in crowded rooms staring at your drink.

I think you enjoy it.

I enjoy it?

Well, you work so hard at torturing yourself.

I can only think you must enjoy it.

- Who are you? - I told you.

I'm guinan. I tend bar and I listen.

Well, you're not like any bartender I ever met before.

And you're not like any starfleet officer I've ever met before.

But that sounds like the beginning of a very interesting friendship.

I don't stay anywhere long enough to make friends.

Too late.

You just did.

Excuse me.

Bridge to ensign ro.

Go ahead.

Subspace communication coming in for you, ensign.

Thank you.

Computer, direct subspace transmission to monitor.

Your report, ensign.

Everything is going exactly as you predicted, admiral.

Any indications of weapons or vessels beneath the surface?

The composition of the moon's surface is blocking the sensors.

Which is very likely why they chose this moon for their base of operations.

We're on a timetable here. Where's ro?

Picard to ensign ro.

Computer, locate ensign ro.

Computer voice: Ensign r0 is not on board the enterprise.

Check the transport log.

She beamed down almost six hours ago, sir.

Any activity at the meeting site?

No sir, they didn't show up.

What the hell is going on?

Prepare to transport us to the same location ensign ro beamed to.

Mr. Worf, phasers.

I am picking up molecular displacement traces.

That suggests movement in this area during the last 10 hours.

See if we can determine their direction.

Standard search pattern.

Maintain tricorder security link.

Mr. Worf, you come with me.

Data, I'm picking up energy fluctuations over here.

Troi to picard.

Captain, acknowledge.

Data to worf.

Man: Hold it.

Captain picard.

I am orta.

Please forgive my appearance.

Unfortunately, some years ago, as a guest of the cardassians,

my face was mutilated.

My vocal chords were cut.

It was not necessary to abduct us.

I am sorry. But after speaking with r0 laren,

I decided that it was.

Then she's done us both a disservice.

I'm committed to peace.

I am not at all interested in peace.

Nor am I convinced that you are, either.

Captain, I did not come here to undermine this mission.

Whatever your motives, you've already done enough

to damage these negotiations.

I came here to convince these people to listen to you.

I didn't want this to end in bloodshed.

There will be no bloodshed.

You don't know all the facts, sir.

Then perhaps you would share them with me, ensign.

All is not what it seems to be, captain.

Perhaps someone is using you to get to me.

Perhaps you are a victim of this deception as well,

I do not know.

Deception?

Your mission was to seek out the bajoran terrorists

who destroyed the federation settlement on solarion iv.

- Yes. - As I have informed ro laren,

it was not the bajora.

He admits responsibility for dozens of attacks on cardassian targets.

Why should we believe him about solarion iv?

He has no reason to lie.

He fears our reprisal.

I perceive no fear or deception from him.

If they did not attack solarion iv, then who did?

And why would anyone want to falsely implicate the bajora?

Perhaps someone wanted to draw us into the conflict.

But what would anyone gain by doing that?

Ensign ro, may I see you in my ready room?

Yes, sir.

You do not leave this ship without authorization.

- Captain, I'm sorry, but I... - This is not a discussion.

You're restricted to your quarters for the remainder of this mission.

Dismissed.

What?

Hello. It's me, guinan.

I heard you got grounded.

I really don't feel like talking right now.

Come on, sure you do.

Why is it every time I tell you something,

you tell me I mean the exact opposite?

Because you're one of those people who's got their Poles reversed.

Do you want to talk about it?

It's nothing you can help me with.

Well, how do you know until you try?

Look, I got myself into this.

I'm just trying to figure a way out, that's all.

Without anyone getting killed this time.

It seems like everybody's just pulling my strings, you know?

Like I've got no control.

For people like you and me, who've lost their homes,

sometimes that's the way life feels.

I'm in trouble, heh.

There's more going on here than anybody on this ship realizes.

It's more than I know how to deal with.

And I really don't know who to trust anymore.

- Including yourself? - Oh, especially myself.

Heh.

You know, a very long time ago,

I got into some serious trouble too.

And I mean serious.

And I'd probably still be there,

if I hadn't trusted one man.

Come.

Ensign ro has some things she'd like to talk to you about.

Ensign ro has been confined to her quarters.

Well, she can go back to her quarters when she's done.

Guinan, I don't know why you're involved in this, but...

She's my friend.

Please sit down.

Guinan is very selective about whom she calls a friend.

Sir, when I finish telling you what I have to tell you,

I'm probably gonna end up back in the stockade, one way or the other.

And if that's the way it has to be,

then I just can't do this anymore.

What can you not do anymore, ensign?

Admiral kennelly came to me in prison

and told me he'd arrange to get me out if I'd go on a mission.

I know that part.

No, sir, not this mission.

One for him and only him.

You were being sent to talk, to negotiate.

The admiral knew that was hopeless.

My job was to give orta an incentive.

- What kind of incentive? - One that you couldn't offer.

One that starfleet couldn't offer.

Orta was to end the terrorism against the federation

and return with his people to the camps.

In exchange, he would get weapons, ships,

things that would really make a difference

against the cardassians in the future.

I find that impossible to believe.

That admiral kennelly would consider supplying weapons to the terrorists?

If you ask him, he'll deny it.

But it's true.

I didn't leave this ship without authorization, captain.

I received it from the admiral last night.

You have been in contact with admiral kennelly during this mission?

Yes, sir.

The subspace log can confirm that part of it at least.

Arming these people is a violation

of everything that the federation stands for.

Even you cannot be blind to that.

No sir, I'm not.

But this was something I had to do.

You see, captain,

when I was 7 years old,

heh, I was given a piece of sugar candy,

and I was led by a cardassian into a room where my father was sitting.

And he looked at me with eyes I'd never seen.

The cardassian began to ask him questions

and during the next two hours,

as I was forced to watch,

my father was tortured until he died.

And I remember feeling

so ashamed of him as he begged for mercy.

I was ashamed of him for being weak.

I was ashamed of being bajoran.

Later, I began to understand how misguided those feelings were,

and yet, somehow, they have remained a part of me.

I don't want to be ashamed of my heritage any longer, captain.

I serve the federation.

But I am bajoran.

A starfleet admiral presented me with an opportunity to help my people

in their fight against the cardassians.

I had to accept.

Have you made this offer to orta?

After he told me the bajora hadn't attacked solarion iv,

nothing made sense anymore. I decided to wait until I could figure out

- what was going on. - That was a wise choice, ensign.

It probably saved you from another court-martial.

Have you briefed admiral kennelly since we returned from the surface?

No, sir.

Captain, I don't know who to trust anymore.

But that strange bartender of yours has a way of getting to you,

and, well, she said that you were her friend.

Then we have one thing in common.

Do you think that orta would cooperate with us

to determine the truth here?

I think I can persuade him to.

Our orders were to find him. To bring him back to the camps,

any way we could.

Perhaps that's exactly what we should do.

And then what?

And then watch what happens.

Picard: Captain's log, supplemental.

I have become convinced

that we are somehow involved in a conspiracy.

I'm hopeful the purpose behind it will be revealed in the next few hours.

Well done, captain.

It was a team effort, admiral.

Ensign r0 was invaluable.

Good. What's the next step?

The enterprise will escort a bajoran antares-class cruiser

to the valo III camp at 0500 hours.

Orta and his people will be on board.

Good. Keep us advised of your progress.

Acknowledged. How's that cardassian virus, admiral?

A lot better. Thank you.

Picard: I'm pleased.

We will report as soon as our mission is accomplished. Picard out.

Ensign ro, take us to the designated coordinates.

- Aye, sir. - Mr. Data, keep an eye

- on the cardassian border. - Aye, sir.

The bajoran vessel is moving up from the surface, captain.

On-screen.

Hail them, Mr. Worf.

Audio channel open.

The ship does not have visual capabilities.

This is captain picard.

We're prepared to escort you to valo ill.

Woman: Acknowledged, captain.

Be advised that our ship is limited to half-impulse.

Ensign ro, set a course for valo III, half impulse.

Aye, sir.

I am monitoring increased activity inside cardassian space.

Two ships moving along the border heading 142 Mark 051.

Can you identify the class of those ships, Mr. Worf?

Cardassian warships galor-class, type three.

Top of the line.

They are moving into a course parallel to our own, captain.

Yellow alert. Continue to monitor them.

Ensign ro, what's the closest we come to the cardassian border

at our current heading to valo III?

Thirteen thousand four hundred kilometers, sir.

Riker: Eta? Ro: Eight minutes.

That's where it will be.

The cardassian ships are changing course, sir.

They are crossing the border.

They are increasing power to their fonnard weapons grid.

Ensign ro, set a course to intercept the cardassians.

Mr. Worf, open a channel to the bajoran vessel.

Open.

This is the enterprise.

We are moving to intercept two cardassian warships.

Maintain your present course and speed.

Woman: Acknowledged, enterprise.

The cardassians are within visual range.

On-screen.

Worf: They are hailing us, sir.

Open a channel, Mr. Worf.

This is captain Jean-Luc picard of the federation starship enterprise.

How can we help you?

Gul do/ak, cardassian militia four one.

We have no argument with you, captain.

I am pleased to hear that, gul dolak.

All of us in the federation value our peaceful relations

with our cardassian neighbors.

No more than we value the relations with our federation neighbors.

Well, now that we have established our mutual goodwill,

what's on your mind?

We have identified the bajoran ship you are escorting

as a terrorist carrier.

Terrorist carrier? Are you certain?

Most certain, captain.

It has committed many crimes against us.

We know its markings well.

Picard: Well, rest assured, gul dolak,

there will be no terrorist attacks today.

We are escorting the bajoran settlers to their camp on valo III.

You can monitor their course, if you wish.

We would request that you withdraw and leave the matter to us.

This is neutral space, gul dolak.

You have no jurisdiction here.

Nor do you.

If we withdraw, what do you intend to do with the bajoran vessel?

We intend to destroy it.

I see. That puts me in a difficult position.

I promised to escort these people to their camps.

You are protecting the enemies of the cardassian people.

If you do not withdraw, we will take great offense.

I'm sorry to offend you, gul dolak.

But we cannot withdraw.

We are prepared to take any steps necessary.

Is that intended as a threat?

It is a complaint.

From your cardassian neighbors.

You have one hour to withdraw.

Advise starfleet of our status, Mr. Data.

When admiral kennelly calls, I'll speak to him in my ready room.

It seemed, admiral, that they knew our course,

our destination, our plan.

I'm sure they monitor the border at all times for terrorist activity.

Their sensors must have picked up orta's ship, that's all.

I'm not convinced of that.

The important thing is, what do we do now?

Do you have any suggestions, admiral?

Your top priority is to protect the cardassian treaty.

Sir, I see no way to protect the cardassian peace

without sacrificing the bajoran.

If that's your call, I'll support it.

No. I'm not willing to give them up.

I don't think you're looking at the big picture, Jean-Luc.

We can't afford to lose the cardassian treaty.

Well, I just see a different big picture, admiral.

It looks something like this.

I see the cardassian liaison,

with his cardassian virus, coming to meet with you

after the attack on solarion iv.

Now we have a common enemy, he says.

The bajoran terrorists.

The cardassians can't find them.

But maybe the federation can.

I'm beginning to see

that our mission has, in fact, been to expose orta

so that the cardassians can move in and destroy him.

I think you've lost your perspective, captain.

We 7! Discuss this further when you return.

For now I'm giving you a direct order to withdraw.

Kennelly out.

Ensign ro, set a course, bearing 18? Mark 102,

one quarter impulse.

Aye, sir.

He's ordered us to withdraw?

The cardassians are moving toward the bajoran vessel, captain.

Hold present course.

The bajoran ship has been destroyed.

Subspace signal coming in from starfleet, captain.

- Admiral kennelly. - On-screen.

It is on a secure channel, sir. In your ready room?

No. Here. On-screen.

Report.

The cardassians have destroyed the bajoran ship, admiral.

All hands lost?

No, sir.

Survivors?

No, sir. No one was on board.

What are you talking about?

The ship was controlled from the ground.

Communication was handled through a subspace relay on the vessel.

This was your idea, picard?

Actually, no.

It was ensign ro's idea but I fully endorsed it.

I suspected that something like this might occur.

They're terrorists, damn it.

Why in the hell would you want to protect them?

Admiral, I am more concerned

with protecting the honor and integrity of starfleet.

Do you know how many of our people

they killed on solarion iv?

The bajorans did not attack solarion iv.

Who told you that, orta?

Picard: Yes.

And you believed him?

Admiral, orta's ships are old and obsolete.

They don't even have warp capabilities.

They couldn't have reached another star system, let alone attacked one.

Then who's responsible?

I suggest that you ask your friend, the cardassian liaison, admiral.

The only explanation I can think of

is that the cardassians staged it.

The cardassians? Why?

Perhaps they were hoping to find someone in starfleet like you, admiral.

Naive enough to solve their bajoran problem for them.

What will happen to him?

I'm not sure. A hearing, certainly.

Probably a court-martial.

Well, if he gets sent to the stockade on jaros ii,

tell him to request a room in the east wing.

The west wing gets awfully hot in the afternoons.

How soon do you intend to return to lya station Alpha, sir?

Uh, in a few weeks. We have some surveying to do

in sector 21305.

Perhaps I should arrange for some other transportation back.

Ensign,

you were recruited for one mission,

and if you wish to be relieved of further duty,

I can certainly arrange it.

But I'd like you to consider remaining in starfleet.

- You're not serious. - Mm-hm.

I think it would be a shame for starfleet

to lose someone of your potential.

Well, thank you, captain.

But this uniform just doesn't fit and you know it.

That can change.

I've noticed qualities in you that could be harnessed, molded.

Don't count on it.

I think you've got a great deal to learn from starfleet.

I always thought starfleet had a lot to learn from me, captain.

That's an attitude that I've found common

among the best officers I've ever served with.

Well, you're not one of them yet, but you could be, if you work at it.

That's an interesting challenge.

And I rarely refuse an interesting challenge.

There would have to be one condition.

Picard to enterprise.

Two to beam up.