All language subtitles for Hung - 1x05 - Do it Monkey.en

( theme music playing )

* Need a new love?

* Hey, I'm ready

* Want my time?

* I'm willing, yeah

* 'cause I'm the one

* Who's gonna show

* When there's nobody

* I'll be your man

* Yeah, I'm the one

* Who's gonna show

* When there's nobody

* I'll be your man

* I'll be your man

* all right.

Woman:
How's he gonna improve

when you always stick him
on the bench?

I don't always stick
him on the bench.

Not once have you made
him a starting player.

And he's got the qualities
to start.

He was
a J.V. powerhouse.

This isn't J.V.
No offense, ma'am,

but Lamar is a sophomore.

I think he's got
a great shot but--

His brother
was the same way.

You didn't want him
to start either

and then I had to nag
and nag you and then you did.

If he hadn't
broken his leg--

Ma'am, excuse me but we're gonna
have to continue this conversation

at a later date.
Thanks for your interest.

Need some help?

No, not really.
I know how to do it.
Thanks though.

I mean...

Not unless you're
some sort of expert.

I'm not an expert,
but I'd be glad to help you.

No fun to be changing a tire
out in the rain, right?

Do you like rescuing
damsels in distress?

This is my first time.

Hmm.
So why'd you stop?

If you were some
fat-ass truck driver

I might have kept driving.

I think there's a compliment
deep in there somewhere.

Yeah.

Yeah, there probably is.

Okay.

( panting )
You hungry?

There's a little cafe
up the road.

You want to get
some lunch?

( breathing heavily )

( moaning )

Oh God!

( squealing )

She didn't like it.

What do you mean?

She didn't like it
so much.

What?
You know what this is?

This is like when
you go to a restaurant,
you eat a meal

and then you pretend
there's a hair in the food.

Can't hit
a home run every time.

Nobody else complained.

They think I've done
a fucking excellent job.

Would you just try to
understand the customer?

The customer
is always first.

Lenore said this woman
has had a string

- of really bad relationships.
- So?

So what happened was more
of a male fantasy

and what she wanted was
more of a female fantasy.

More female?

Yeah, well,
that's the way it goes.

She's only
our third customer.

I thought I was
supposed to fuck her.

Next time make her feel like
it's more about her mind,

not just her body.

She wants
to book me again?

Yeah, she wants a rewrite.

She'll pay for it.

You mean a do-over?

You need any help?

Not really.

I mean, unless
you're an expert.

You know,
I realize

I don't even
know your name.

Jemma.

Yours?

- Randall.
- Randall.

And do you have
a career or a job?

- I'm gonna guess a career.
- Yeah, that's right, a career.

What kind of career?

I'm a book editor.

Really?

I was a comparative
lit major.

What kind of books?

( chuckles )

Good books.

I--

I go for quality. I don't give
a shit if it's a bestseller.

I go for the kind
of arty books

that move readers.

That's great, Randall.
I really--

I really admire
people like you.

I'm a total sellout.

I work for
an ad department.

But, you know,
at least I get

to meet people like you
who follow their dreams.

Do you want to go
to a movie sometime?

Um...

Thank you.

Part of me would love to,
but I do have a boyfriend.

- A boyfriend?
- Yeah.

I should go meet him now.

What do you mean,
like now?

Yeah, actually it is now.
I'm sorry.

It's--

It was so great
to meet you.

Yeah.

Thanks for fixing my flat.
That was sweet.

My pleasure.

Ray: She said
she has a boyfriend.

He probably doesn't exist.
Don't you get it?

She has a bruised heart. At least
that's what she said in the interview.

- Men have let her down.
- Women have let me down.

But we're not talking about you.
You're not paying.

Look, she said she wanted
to meet you by the side of the road.

But my guess is she was
looking for a connection,

At least
for a few moments--

The fantasy of meeting
a total stranger

And wondering
if it might be...

Destiny.

God, you were supposed
to stop her from leaving, Ray.

( groans )
Barf.

Could you stop snorting
with derision?

Fine, I'll pretend I'm madly
in love with this freak.

You might not get another chance.
She might not call again.

Okay, fine.

It's no skin off our back.
We'll find somebody else.

We don't have
anyone else yet.

And Jemma pays great.

Ray's voice:
That was the thing about Jemma.

She paid great.

Why did Ronnie choose this place?
It's really dingy.

What's wrong with
a delicious buffet?

That's not crab.

It's imitation crab.

I prefer it.

It's cleaner
and healthier.

It's safer
for the environment.

Is the shrimp real?

There's no such thing
as fake shrimp, Darb.

Just eat it,
you'll like it.

Mom, even
the Hush Puppies suck.

- Is something wrong?
- Nothing, Ron.

Just blah blah blah
from the peanut gallery.

That's a swan.

Here's the thing, kids--
We're not made of money anymore.

Oh, it's not
that big of a deal.

It just means that sometimes
we eat at the steakhouse,

and other times
at the $3.99 buffet.

- We shake it up a little.
- No more luxuries.

That's what
we're trying to say.

Just the most important luxuries,
the ones that really matter, those we keep.

So you're not
rich anymore?

Correct.

Come on, Ronnie.

We're still rich.

We're just not as rich.

The point is,
we don't feel as rich.

Not super rich
like before.

But you still
have some money?

We've lost a lot of money
in the stock market.

Times are tough.

We just happened to land
in the danger zone.

We don't have to call
it the danger zone.

It's a temporary setback.

Besides, all that money
was on paper anyway.

- So it's all in your mind?
- I wish.

( coughs )
Which brings us to the car.

Ray's voice: It's not that
I wanted to compete with Jessica

or benefit
from her misfortune,

but I had a little
extra money for once.

Not a whole lot, but enough to hire
a couple of guys to help me out

and for a couple of
quality T-bone steaks.

20 bucks each
and I didn't give a crap.

Damn straight.

- Darby, darling.
- Thank you.

Go on, tell us
how it is, Darb.

- All right, Damon.
- Thank you.

Here you go, pal.
All right, how's the steak?

- Cooked 'em pretty good, huh?
- Damon: It's good, Dad.

So...

Ronnie lost
a lot of money, huh?

That's what he says.

Boy, your mom must be
real disappointed.

Yeah.

Ronnie was a real rock.

Who would
have guessed?

Yeah, well, he's not gonna
buy us a car anymore.

What do you care?

Why don't you
just get hammer
to drive you around?

Damon, why are you
so up his butt?

Ray's voice: So when the kids
brought up the car thing,

I don't know,
maybe it was the divorce

or maybe I was
just a jackass,

I felt bold.
The twins were turning 16.

You know,

just 'cause Ronnie can't buy you
a car doesn't mean I can't.

We've got to
up our game, Tanya.

If she doesn't love it next time,
I'll do her for free.

Now that I know what
she wants, I'll deliver.

Satisfaction guaranteed.

I don't think you're capable
of understanding her.

Jemma strikes me
as highly complex.

I just promised
my kids a car.

You just leave all that
highly complex stuff to me.

This is my version
of a preacher cookie.

Preacher cookies get
their name from the idea

that if a preacher knocks
on your door unexpectedly

you can cook these up
in a few minutes.

And my inspiration
was to put

a little piece
of psalm inside each one.

( sighs )

Maybe to attract
"a church market."

Well, it certainly
is generous of Tanya

to host our gathering and
bake us a sample, isn't it?

Does anyone else have a final prototype
they'd like to share?

All right, well,
if you'd like to email me,

I'm always available
for commentary.

And even though our class
is officially ending,

perhaps some of you are
ready for the next step.

That's right, if you are
ready to believe in yourself

and your abilities
on a whole new level,

it's time to sign up for

"How to Become a Millionaire,
Part Two."

Now who's ready
to take that step?

Who has the courage?

Raise your hand
if you want an application.

When you've been in
the business of money creation

for as long as I have,
Tanya, nothing is surprising.

Some people don't have
mental fortitude.

It's as if their brain
has polio.

They're trapped in an iron
lung of the mind, see?

They can't become
millionaires.

They can't get
a fancy car like I have.

Because essentially
they can't make

the leap upstairs mentally.

I think most people
wanted to take part two

but they
couldn't afford it.

Why don't I have
more students like you?

What makes you so different,
Tanya Skagle?

Why don't you
ask my mother?

( laughs )

Touch�.

Now, do you have
your checkbook?

My checkbook?

Yeah, I recommend you go
ahead and secure your space.

Sometimes,
part two in particular,

can fill up
like a flash flood.

My only hesitation
is I was thinking

that I might want to take
part two next time.

Well, why ever
would you do that?

I want to sign up,

it's just the class
isn't cheap, right?

Well, then why did you say,
"Count me in"?

I was trying
to be supportive.

Well, swell.
Um...

That'll be great.
Yeah.

It's not what
I recommend, but...

You can lead a horse to water,
that sort of thing.

Is your Jaguar a rental?

( exhales )

Need any help?

I don't give a rat's ass
if it's a bestseller, you know?

That's just how
I like to roll

with the books
in my area.

Well, that's beautiful,
Randall.

I really admire
people like you.

You want to go
to a movie sometime?

Um...

A part of me would love to,
but I have a fianc�.

I should go meet him.

Hey, can't he wait,
this fianc� of yours?

No, he gets cranky
if I'm late.

You know,
maybe I'm mistaken,

but I think you'd have
a lot more fun

if you stayed here.

- Fun?
- Yeah.

You know,
we-- we...

Could have
a great time together.

What are you trying
to say exactly?

That, uh, we--

We would have fun.

Wait a second.
Would you hold on now?

I sounded like
an asshole, okay?

It came out 100% wrong.
But I'm not an asshole.

- Just listen.
- You're rude.

What could you possibly have
to say that I would want to hear?

I just...
( stammering )

What, are you gonna make
another inappropriate pass at me?

No, not a pass.
I just--

I just wish that...

In some crazy

long shot version
of this universe,

that you would stay
here with me

and not vanish

from existence
from my life.

( sighs )

But, Randall,
I have a boyfriend.

No, I respect that.

And I respectfully
don't care.

I mean, shit, Jemma,

- don't you feel it?
- Feel what?

Destiny.

( thunder rumbling )

Ray's voice:
Principal Rhonda Barr.

My whole life
I had bad timing.

So he takes away money

but you still have
to give him sex?

I like having sex with Ron.
It's not a trade.

Look at him.

As peaceful as a baby.

If he really
lost this money,

he'd be stabbing
his heart with a knife.

Hey, what are you guys
talking about in there?

Oh, uh, nothing.

Just making your lemonade.

At least Ray was honest.

You hated Ray.
And now you're after Ron?

These problems
aren't his fault, Mom.

Everybody in America is having
to cut back a little bit.

If you choose to be blind,
what can I do?

Uh, mom,
Doris smells.

Oh, Doris.

( laughing )

I got you.
I got you beat.

( shouting, laughing )

( laughing )

- Nice.
- Mmm.

Oh, last call
for strawberries.

Oh, no thanks.
All yours.

Chocolate?

Mmm.

I love a man who's got
good taste in chocolate.

That's me.
I'm a chocolate connoisseur.

Is it my imagination,

or are you perfect
in every way?

Oh no.

I'm flawed.
Trust me.

- Like how?
- Well...

Sometimes when
i take my shoes off,

Whoo, babe, you don't
want to go there.

I don't.
I don't want to go there.

No, don't do it.

( laughing )

( sighs )

I think I might...

Just fall
in love with you.

What do you think?

That's so nice.

Mmm.

Hold on a sec.

( phone ringing )

Yeah?

When Jemma says she might
just fall in love with you,

you say I love you too.

Are you fucking
kidding me?

We don't have time
to dissect this.

Do you want to get
your kids that car?

Hi.

( sighs )

You know...

When you said...

You might just--

- fall in love with you?
- Right.

Well...

I'm...

I'm loving you too.

- Do you?
- Oh yeah.

I love you.

- I love you.
- Do you?

I said I love you.

I really mean it.
I love you.

Then why don't
I believe you?

( sighs )
Jemma, please.

Excuse me,
but this is--

This is crazy.

Why is so hard for you
to say I love you?

Why do you want me
to say it so bad?

Look, I just can't
help but wonder

why you'd want to ruin such
a perfectly beautiful moment

on a perfectly
beautiful beach

with all this fucked up
artificial shit.

I mean, what am I,
a goddamn dancing monkey here?

Okay, that didn't
go so well.

You want a do-over?

Will she come out
of the coma?

She could.
It's hard to say.

We can put Doris
on liquids

Or we can let nature
take its course.

There's no wrong decision.

What do you think?
What should we do?

We don't want to see her with
all those drugs and tubes, do we?

No, we don't.

She lived a good life

And she was loved.

But, Ron,

I'm really starting
to bond with the kids.

And I really really think
it's because of Doris.

Puppies are born,
old dogs die.

It's all part
of growing up.

Ron, I need this.

We're gonna do
the right thing, Jess.

( laughing )
Okay. Okay.

Let's put her down.

The greeks give us
the height

of art and philosophy.

The Romans establish
modern law and government.

And then somehow,

all that enviable
accomplishment

is destroyed

- inhang on just a second.
- All right?

What are you doing here?

Would you not
be so paranoid?

I used to teach
these kids poetry.
Here.

I finally got ahold of her.
She paid in full.

- She paid me?
- Yeah, she didn't want to stiff you.

Bummer, right? She would have
made a great repeat customer.

You think maybe
I should call her?

Don't. I think this woman's
impossible to please.

See, it's that
"I love you" stuff.

- ( bell rings )
- I didn't see it coming.

See? She threw me
off my game.

It's over. Don't worry,
we'll get you somebody else.

Here it is.

I was listening to it last night
when I was falling asleep.

I really think this is going to help me
with my leadership skills.

Yeah, it's the best,
all right.

Thank you
for lending it to me.

No problem.

Oh hey, do you also have
my handout around somewhere?

Handout?

Oh, you mean the list of
inspirational quotations?

I thought you wanted
me to keep that.

I did.
But I thought
I'd get it back.

- Okay.
- If possible.

Um, maybe...

Floyd, is everything okay?

I'm perfectly fine.

Do you want to sit down?

I could make us some tea.

I'll sit for a moment.

No thank you
on the tea.

All right, what you
might be sensing, Tanya,

Is I think it might be time
for us to have the talk.

What talk?

The one about
expectations.

I don't want you to get your hopes
up just to see them dashed.

I'm not looking
for anything serious.

- I'm a bachelor.
- What?

Now we can
be friends, sure.

But I cannot
muddy the water.

I never asked you
to muddy the water.

All right,
I do not like drama.

I always feel it's best

I only went on a date
with you to be nice.

It was my
New Year's Resolution.

I'm just not attracted
to you, Tanya.

Do you think I was
attracted to you?

- I'm sorry.
- My god, you're 100 years old.

Tanya, I didn't say
you were an ugly woman.

- You're just not my type. I can't help that.
- Fuck you! Fuck you!

However, I'd be happy
to continue to counsel you.

If you want to give me a call.

- Get out! Fuck you!
- This is not productive.

Oh my god, a creepy
motivational speaker.

- Fuck you.
- ( door slams )

Honey.

We did the best thing.

And we did a brave thing.

And the least
expensive thing.

Honey, we all
loved Doris.

I'm not in the mood.

Why not?

I don't know, Ron.

Maybe it's the economy.

( dialing )

( ringing )

- Hello?
- Hello, Mom.

Are you in the hospital?

No, Mom,

I'm just feeling
a little lonely.

Sweetheart,
don't call me so late

if you're not
in the hospital.

It's 8:30.

I'm no good after 7:00.
Is it an emergency?

( beeps )

( dialing )

( ringing )

This is Ray. I lost
my old phone in the fire,

so make sure
and leave your number.

( beeps )

Ray?
Where are you?

* You went alone

* Holding on

* to what
you'll never know *

* Who are you

* Pretending
you should be? *

( knocks )

* Never enough

* Of who you
thought you'd be... *

So why should
I let you in?

You probably shouldn't.

Tanya says you're
impossible to please.

She didn't even know
I called you.

Well, if you think
I'm just some kind of weirdo,

Then why did you?

- The money.
- Oh.

Hey, I'm just
being honest.

I know you'll probably just
end up all unhappy again.

That's supposed
to inspire me?

But maybe you won't.

Look, before you,
I was batting 1000.

You're my first out.

It's my job
to make you happy.

That's why they call me
a happiness consultant.

I think I could
make you happy.

What do you say?

Sync: Honeybunny
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Minor Edits: VeRdiKT
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