Original subtitles

( theme music playing )

* need a new love?

* hey, i'm ready

* want my time?

* i'm willing, yeah

* 'cause i'm the one

* who's gonna show

* when there's nobody

* i'll be your man

* yeah, i'm the one

* who's gonna show

* when there's nobody

* i'll be your man

* i'll be your man

* all right.

lyndie: coach ray drecker,

a west lakefield legend.

he started out as west lakefield's star athlete

And a member of the legendary wolves class of '84

When he lettered in three sports.

After attending university of central florida

On a prestigious baseball scholarship,

Coach ray chose to return to west lakefield high

as a coach, history teacher

and all-around inspiration.

ray's voice: not only did she make me sound like a turd,

she left out the best parts.

like my contract with the braves

and my ligament injury,

like how i tasted and came close to greatness.

lyndie: since then, coach ray has been with us

Through thick and thin.

Through the good times and the bad times,

coach drecker's always there when we need him.

ray's voice: is that what i was to them?

the guy who was there?

the guy they can count on to stay behind when they leave?

...and go to college and forget our high school days,

Coach drecker will be here.

- ( phone ringing ) - coach drecker is always here for us.

which is why the student council has chosen to make coach ray

the recipient of our fall fundraiser,

"meet you at the carwash."

( cheering )

Okay.

Coach, we know you lost your roof in the fire.

So we thought we'd buy you a structural beam.

We think this $235 will buy you about 1 1/2 beams,

Depending on the quality of the wood.

We hope you enjoy the beams for many years to come.

( cheering )

ray's voice: then they gave me the pickle jar.

this is ray. i lost my old phone in the fire,

so make sure and leave your number.

Ray, you have to give me an answer, okay?

At least tell me which way you're leaning,

Because this train is really leaving the station.

Did you bring pictures?

Uh, no.

Well, how can i choose then?

You have to trust me. i choose for you.

It's a responsibility i take very seriously,

Very seriously in every way.

It's what i do.

What if you send me some kind of freak?

Not gonna happen. i would never employ a freaky guy.

I really just want somebody calm and normal.

No liars or addicts or drug users.

That's why a service like mine can come in so handy, molly.

I personally vet

Every individual who works for me.

And as you can see, i'm a woman just like you.

A normal person sitting across the table.

I don't like the idea of some muscled-out-

Shiny-looking-probably-gay boy gyrating on me.

Anonymous sex ads are a turnoff,

But that doesn't mean that i don't feel

Very sexy sometimes

And wish that life could be a little more simple,

You know, in that way.

Yeah, it's really true.

Yeah, i can understand what reasonable women want

Because i am one of those women.

That's why we're called happiness consultants.

Here, let me give you one of our refrigerator magnets.

It's a freebie.

Oh.

- oh. - yeah.

Make sure you throw me a good-looking one then.

Naturally.

And make sure he doesn't have a small...

- you know... - yeah.

...wiener. ( chuckles )

Lenore said she'd never had such--

- uh-huh. - look...

I get enough teeny-weeny dick already.

Don't even send me medium size. i'm not even kidding.

Molly, relax.

We have no problems in that arena.

( laughs )

Oh my god.

Can you believe the things lenore introduces me to?

I mean, it's not like i do this every day of the week.

Did lenore mention the price?

She said i should pay upfront.

300.

That's a 50% first-time discount

I only give that to lenore's friends.

Okay.

So when should i get that to you?

Well, i'm good to wait right here if you want to, um...

Go get it at the atm.

- oh. - it's got a very reasonable surcharge.

Uh, how do you keep from shooting yourself?

Try to keep one foot in front of the other.

I was going to put up a roof beam this weekend.

Okay.

- well, thanks for showing it to me. - sure.

I hope it stops the problems.

Yeah, me too.

Why in the world would i have nightmares about this place?

All of my possessions did not get burned up.

None of my stuff was even here.

Right. just all my stuff.

Exactly.

- i should go. - yeah.

Oh, by the way,

I'm thinking of flying darb to new york tomorrow.

You know, like unexpectedly. take her to "mamma mia."

Tomorrow is my night, jess.

I know, but she's depressed, ray. it's boy trouble.

I don't think dad's night at the drive-in is really gonna cheer her up.

Maybe it will cheer her up.

Maybe dad's night at the drive-in is just what she needs.

Hey, look.

Something of mine was here.

Huh, my nutcracker.

- hey, do you mind? - no, you have at it.

( laughs )

Go crack some nuts.

ray's voice: 20 years of marriage

and she misses the nutcracker.

What the hell is she looking at?

It's called work, lady.

( thunder rumbling )

ray's voice: one foot in front of the other.

it sounded so easy when mom used to say it.

"just put one foot in front of the other

and good things will come."

Ray. ray!

You never called me back.

ray, i know you're in there.

It's freezing out here so i'm coming in.

So are you quitting or not?

( groans, coughs )

Come on, ray, knock it off.

You're leaving me hanging out on a limb.

Come on, tanya. i can't deal with this right now.

- are you getting sick? - no.

Seriously, i don't mean to be negative,

But th is how people get pneumonia and die.

I'm a camper. ( coughs )

I can camp out here all winter if i need to.

Could you please not be arrogant about your health?

A man your age needs heat.

What do you mean, a man my age?

I have a confession to make. i booked you two appointments tomorrow.

They're lenore's recommendations. it's no bullshit, ray.

A very nice womannamed molly want you tomorrow afternoon.

I can't.

Tomorrow i'm busy.

- what makes you so busy? - i'm putting in a roof beam.

A roof-- by yourself?

Are you delusional?

Men have built homes with their bare hands for centuries.

And i'm going to do it with whatever cash comes my way.

Starting with this pickle jar.

These are very wealthy prospects, ray.

They could easily turn into regulars.

Do you know what that means?

They both prepaid in advance, cash.

Probably a lot more than what's in that pickle jar.

So if you ask me, i think that you should

Postpone your roof project.

( knocks )

- richard? - uh...

Are you richard?

Are you molly?

Oh.

You're very, uh...

You seem like a very nice woman.

Thank you.

You're very...

Handsome. very attractive.

Um... thanks.

- you're not a private investigator, are you? - a what?

I just suddenly thought, "oh great, my husband hired a p.i."

So you don't have a camera hidden somewhere on your body?

( chuckles ) nope.

- can i check? - um, sure.

Okay.

Listen, do you have any aspirin?

I have ibuprofen.

- do you want some? - great.

( clears throat )

Whoa, molly.

I'm feeling so lousy.

I've been spending a lot of time outdoors.

Are you gonna be okay?

You know, i don't think so.

Shit, this is bad.

Molly, i don't want to give you want i got.

Yeah.

Shit, i don't think i'm the right guy for the job right now.

I'm sorry. i've got to go.

Okay.

( clears throat )

- bye. - ( door closes )

- what did hammer say? - doesn't matter.

I didn't want to have sex with him, so that's probably why.

What did that ass-fucker say?

He said he was fine with it.

And then he started putting me down

With little comments, you know?

Are you sure he wasn't just flirting?

Mom, he was making fun of my thighs.

Does that sound like he was flirting to you?

Well, yeah, i know.

But when i was in high school, for example,

Guys used to tease me mercilessly about my rear end.

I'm not you.

I know.

So please do not compare my life to yours.

on't want to hear i about your butt.

Okay.

Oh, that black looks good, damon.

i'm so glad you came with us.

That's not effeminate at all.

Lots of guys get their nails done.

- it doesn't mean you're gay. - i'm not gay.

Well, you're right. i love you guys.

What do you mean he didn't fuck you?

Anyway, maya saw him with some skinny girl.

And when i texted him about it he didn't write back.

It's been like two days, so i'm probably dumped.

Forget him, darby. hammer reeks.

That's just his funky glands.

Would you stop defending him? it's over.

I don't give a shit if he was sick, he got paid to fuck you.

It's his job to come through.

- excuse me. - shh!

Listen, molly, if he didn't fuck you,

- you're definitely gonna get reimbursed. - there are children here.

Excuse me for a second. what?

Your language, my kids don't need to be exposed.

Sweetheart, i'm gonna have to call you back.

Do you have a problem with me?

I just might if you don't temper your language.

Here, babe.

If you ever want to pick out an outfit to match that stick up your ass,

Give me a call.

ray's voice: how tanya talked me over to her place i'll never know.

i'm not the type who needs babying when i'm sick.

Oh, god. don't look at it. don't think about it.

- don't wonder where it came from. - ( knocking )

I'm coming in. i'm not looking.

I'm gonna put your yerba mate

On the tub here.

And, um, how's the salts?

The what?

The bathe salts. they're supposed to be reinvigorating.

Good.

I suppose i really should have just got a z-pack.

Oh what, you're gonna slam your body with drugs now, ray?

Antibiotics are bad even for chickens.

Will you turn around, tanya? i feel weird

Talking to the back of your head.

I-i didn't want to impose upon your privacy.

I'm not shy.

you know what i think?

I think this whole "i'm sick" thing is psychosomatic.

- tanya, my head is pounding. - ray, come on.

Right before you're supposed to perform, you get sick?

I got no problems performing, okay?

Soon as i'm better, i'll perform any night of the week.

Can you handle twice in a night?

Twice in a night

Is child's play, tanya.

That's fantastic, because you have molly at 8:00

- and another one at 11:00. - great.

Molly, huh?

What about molly?

No, just--

You know, i don't know

If i really feel comfortable doing molly.

Why the hell not?

I don't know. it's just...

She's not really my type.

Not your type? what's your type, ray?

She's just not

Exactly what i was expecting.

What were you expecting?

I don't know. just, you know, someone

Who looks like they're sexually active.

You mean somebody you want to be sexually active with.

My god, so insulting.

What?

Insulting to who?

I mean, come on, tanya.

You have me flying blind out there.

I got rights too, you know.

Happiness consultants does not discriminate.

Not every customer is going to be some perfect big-breasted 10.

I mean, why don't you try expanding that pea-sized brain of yours

And getting turned on by a woman's mind?

We're not talking about my mind here.

We can't control who opens that door.

It's part of your job to walk through it anyway.

( woman screaming )

Who needs "mamma mia," huh?

Dad, your mask is distracting me from the movie.

You're probably not even infectious.

All right, maybe you're right.

The car's a closed environment, kids. i thought i'd play it safe.

Oh! ( laughs )

Why are outdoor movies always so violent?

Blood and gore plays great on the big screen.

It's the great tradition of the b movie.

Yeah, the family that screams together stays together.

- not in our case. - come on, darb.

We hang out, right? we're still together.

dreckers don't let tough times get them down.

Where are you going?

- i need popcorn. - darby, wait.

What the hell's going on?

It's her ex-boyfriend.

What, that hammer kid?

What the hell's his problem anyway?

Stay here and i'll handle it, all right?

( machines ringing )

Forget about him, darb. just ignore him.

Let's leave. pretend like you don't even know him.

Shut up. hi, hammer.

Hey, darb. what's up?

Um, not much.

Hi, i'm tracie.

Can we talk for a second, please?

You mean like now?

She texted you and you never even answered, you asswipe.

- when? - two fucking days ago.

- damon, stop it. - no, you stop, darby. i'm handling this.

You want to know who's got back, hammer? you've got back.

Chill out before i kill you, dude.

- stay away from my sister, dude. - i'll pay for it.

You'll what? fuck his popcorn.

Fuck you, you wienie motherfucker.

Hey hey hey hey! break it up.

- hey, what's going on here? - dad, i have it under control.

Yeah, i can see that, damon.

- you hammer? - yes, sir.

What's wrong with you? you upset my daughter,

You're about to hit my son when you're like twice as fat.

Dad, it wasn't hammer's fault. damon started it.

All right.

He doesn't love you, darb. why are you taking his side?

I can talk to hammer if i want to, okay?

Stop frickin' ruining this for me. both of you.

- take it down. - oh, wait!

This sucks.

All right, i got eyes on them.

She knows i'm not gonna let her drive home with that kid, right?

Damester. hey, man, you crying?

- no. - why is your face all wet?

I'm not crying, dad.

It's just...

Sometimes life is just too much.

Listen, when life gives you lemons--

- what, you make lemonade? - well, yeah.

If you like lemonade.

ray's voice: i've been a jock,

student leader, professional ballplayer,

an educator.

is this really the material

from which male prostitutes are made?

Hey.

Hi.

It's ray drecker. remember? tanya's friend.

Yes, the vintage car guy, right?

Yeah, right. tanya's friend.

Yeah, you remember the other night?

What night?

With you and me and tanya.

Are you referring to my student tanya skagle?

- right. - the point is?

There is no point.

I just recognized you and thought i'd say hi.

Hi.

I don't think you should spend time with tanya, ray.

She's going places. do you know what i'm saying?

Excuse me?

I just think that young woman should be surrounded

With inspirational people and positive influences, that's all.

She doesn't need a quitter.

What do you mean a quitter? i'm not a quitter.

- you don't even know me. - you're right, ray.

I don't. so i'll just be jogging on.

By the way, how's the vintage car business coming?

It's good. it's great!

Thanks for asking.

ray's voice: running into floyd was like a bad dream.

did i really look like a quitter?

- are you done with the circuit city thing? - ( gasps )

Oh god, i am so sorry.

I am so slow tonight. i'm off my game.

Honey, i don't care.

ray's voice: it felt like a symbolic kind of thing--

ordering a beam. one foot in front of the other.

a step in the right direction, you know?

It's not in there, ray.

- i counted only 143. - 143.

Maybe there's a missing $100 bill.

Maybe under one of these piles or something.

I don't think so.

143.

So that's just enough

For about a half a structural beam, right?

What kind of beam do you have in mind exactly?

A house beam.

A structural beam to enjoy for many years to come.

- i guess you mean a ridge beam. - yes.

Well, 143 wouldn't buy you half a ridge beam, okay?

In fact, we don't even sell half beams.

What good is a half beam anyway?

The beam costs $500 to make

And it does not include the price of wood.

Step over here, please.

ray's voice: that damn pickle jar.

it really did say it all.

ray: sorry about the other day.

i just-- i had this 24-hour bug thing.

i mean, i had the flu shot.

it must have been some weird strain or something.

Yeah, it's been going around.

My husband had it too.

( laughs ) i thought maybe it was me.

You? molly.

Why would you think it was you?

Whew, that's a relief.

I felt really bad that i canceled.

I was looking forward to this.

So...

What happens next?

May i?

You're so...

Oh, dear.

What's wrong?

My husband, richard.

He, uh-- he doesn't...

He wants to have sex with me

Every morning at 6:00 a.m.

Oh.

That's the way he wants to start his day.

He says he has a high testosterone level

And we don't have sex he can't start his work day

And he'll end up cheating on me.

But he's terrible at sex.

He has no talent for it.

No equipment for it.

Oh, and the worst thing is

I don't know how to tell him no.

That must be...

Challenging.

I'm sorry, i can't go through with this.

You mean you don't want to do anything?

Every time i think of intercourse i see his face.

I think you should go.

Oh.

Why don't we just relax?

Just see what happens?

( laughs ) i can't.

You know, you were interested enough to get me here.

And then you got me here again.

And this might be your first time...

But this is what i do.

I'm a professional.

It's my job

To make you forget about your husband.

You might have a hard time saying no to him...

But i promise you, molly,

You won't have a hard time saying yes to me.

I wouldn't mind just looking at your penis.

You want to look at it?

I think that'd make me happy.

I changed my mind.

You're nothing like my husband, are you?

I doubt we have much in common.

What's the second address, tanya?

You went?

Sure i went. and i'm going again.

Really, ray? oh my god,

That's fantastic. you're a god.

You're not the only woman to say that tonight,

- if you catch my drift. - i'll text you the address.

I've been sitting here, ray, about to shoot myself.

Just seeing visions of me here,

Just stuck and getting older

And surrounded by all these fucking papers

And all these people's photographs

Of all their stupid kids.

* well, i feel just like a child... *

Ray, are you there?

* yeah, i feel just like a child *

* well, i feel just like a child... *

ray's voice: a jock, a student leader,

a professional ballplayer,

an educator,

a gigolo.

perhaps an excellent gigolo.

an enthusiastic, fucking fantastic fucker.

Hi.

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