Original subtitles

[Camille] Last season on Harlem...

Everybody's got that one person they built their lives out for.

- For me, it's... - For me, that's you.

We did the blow-up. Do you wanna rebuild?

[Angie] I am falling for him so hard.

That's Michael.

My mom tried to fix us up and said that we'd be,

like, a perfect match.

And now he's with you?

What is that supposed to mean?

What is that supposed to mean?

In my career, I know what I want.

And you made it very clear that that is not at Columbia.

I'm gonna fulfill my contractual commitment,

and then after that, I must go.

[Tye] I'm trying to be more open to something real.

But while I'm looking for Mrs. Right,

I can still fuck like Ms. Wrong.

Ian and Camille are done with the drama.

Hm.

Oh, no.

[both] Drama returns.

I don't know if I can have kids.

Cami, shit!

[Quinn] Isabela dumped me.

Why won't anyone love me?

So you're gay now?

I'm still trying to figure it out, OK?

[Angie] There are a lot of reasons to be with Mike.

Quinn is too big of a reason to not be.

How is Angie?

I haven't spoken to her since she broke up with me.

She said that you come first.

Look, I'm in love with her.

Camille, what did you do?

It's like every time something is going so good,

I just have to mess it up.

Why all the self-sabotaging?

What is he doing here?

He is waiting for his girlfriend.

Will you marry me?

[Tye] We are reaching out to the polyamorous community,

and I am launching Q's sister site, P.

Tye?

What are you doing here?

Zoe, sorry we woke you.

Tye, how do you know my mom?

I have spent so much of my life

trying to be whoever someone interested in me

wanted me to be.

But I need to figure out who I actually am.

To Camille and her Black Joy exhibit.

To an amazing opening reception.

I don't know if I'm ready to let her go.

My work is changing.

And this is the baby I want, maybe forever.

Being a father, that's my dream.

I ain't ready to give that up.

We came all this way to say goodbye?

[doctor] You're totally fine.

And so is your baby.

[upbeat music]

[Camille] In many cultures, there are rituals

for the sole purpose of providing closure,

saying a final goodbye.

In saying goodbye, we make a clean break

to make room for new opportunities, new life.

All right.

The rest of your stuff.

Yeah.

You know, I could have just came by and got these.

I know.

It was arm day at the gym anyway, you know.

Heavy ass books gave me a little early head start.

Pumping that iron. [chuckles]

Mm.

So you said it was arm day.

Yeah, what? They look small to you?

No, they look healthy.

- Bigger? - Yeah.

Mm.

Wait, wait! Wait.

- What? - Right.

We said we can't be together, right?

- Yeah. - Right, yeah, OK.

But just because we can't be together, be together

doesn't mean we can't...

I mean, we're still human.

We are.

We could just be purely physical.

Like cardio.

Yeah, so all those in favor of ex sex, say aye.

Aye.

Hey, hey.

[chuckling]

Yeah.

[singer] ♪ He like that color on my lips ♪

♪ Terracotta, yeah ♪

[Camille] But what happens when there's no room for new

because that goodbye is neither clean nor final?

[singer] ♪ He like that color on my lips ♪

♪ Terracotta, yeah ♪

♪ Hacienda, hacienda ♪

♪ Tell me it's mine forever, mine forever ♪

♪ I can teach you everything you don't know ♪

♪ That you don't know ♪

[Camille] Sometimes goodbye takes a while.

It can take days, weeks...

months, even.

[singer] ♪ He like that color on my lips, terracotta, yeah ♪

♪ He said, whoa, I got too much drip ♪

♪ Water-water, yeah ♪♪

[moaning]

[both panting]

Hmm, mm.

Goddang.

[chuckles]

I'm hungry.

Yeah, that tracks.

Yeah.

Should we get something to eat?

Oh, shit. I gotta go.

It's later than I thought.

I'm meeting, uh...

someone.

Oh.

I'm just...

I'm seeing some... I'm seeing some people.

Plural?

- Some people. - Yeah.

Wow. OK.

Well, that's... that's cool for you.

Wow.

Yeah.

So who are these people?

You said we weren't gonna do all that.

Right. No, we did say

that we're not gonna talk about specifics

of each other's situations.

Yeah.

[clears throat]

Well, I am gonna get in the shower.

All right, I'ma hop in the shower too.

Well, back at my place.

- Not here with you. - Right.

I'm saying I'ma go home and shower.

No, yeah, I mean, you should probably shower

alone at home if you're gonna meet people.

[laughs]

Yeah, so I'm gonna do that.

Yeah, but, you know, I could...

I could go again later, you know,

if you're not still out with people.

I can swing back later on and get you right.

[both chuckle]

- [grunts] - [clears throat]

[soft music]

[laughs]

[singer] ♪ Nobody fucks me like you ever could ♪

♪ I ain't had it in a long time ♪

♪ Well, we're on time, let me fuck you ♪

♪ Love me from moonshine ♪

♪ To your morning wood ♪

[line ringing, beeping]

[Ian] Hey, leave it at the beep.

[beep]

Hi, Ian.

Um, it's been two months since I've been waiting

for you to come back and get me right.

You can't have ex sex without the sex or the ex.

[laughs] Yeah, call me back.

And sometimes you're left wondering

if goodbye is masquerading as silence.

[sighs]

[singer] ♪ Blow my back out ♪

♪ Show and act out ♪

[camera shutter clicks]

♪ But you beat it up like I'm your enemy ♪

- Yeah. - [message blips]

[singer] ♪ Wet the floor, no ♪

♪ But I miss the way... ♪

Should I have done that?

No.

Why did I do that? Why did I do that?

- Why isn't he answering? - [phone dings]

Oh, oh, oh. OK, OK. OK.

[singer] ♪ Love me from moonshine ♪

♪ To your morning wood ♪♪

Seriously?

- [phone rings] - [gasps] Oh, wow.

Hey, Dr. Pruitt.

Yeah, yeah, I could be there in 30 minutes.

[laughs] Nothing.

[upbeat music]

OK, bye.

♪ ♪

OK, so it's not done yet,

but just a few tiny alterations,

and then it's perfect.

Fuck me.

How do you make me look even better every time?

Oh, you are kind.

Oh, Quinn, I am really not.

[laughs]

I'm glad you like it.

You just make sure that you tell your friends about me.

Eventually.

This will be ready by next week, right?

Absolutely.

Perfect.

Do you have Daddy's card?

Yeah, I, um...

I've been meaning to ask you,

is this your daddy, like your father,

or is it like your zaddy?

No biological ties.

He's just someone who knows how special I am.

But no feelings, just fun...

and all on his expense account.

I like where your head is.

Yeah?

OK.

Well, then tomorrow night, make yourself free.

It's a leftovers party at my place.

Very exclusive.

Oh, I don't know about a party full of exes.

If that's the case, your place better fit

half of the men of Manhattan and one woman.

No, no exes.

Just a few non-crazy single friends

that you can personally vouch for.

Ooh, fun.

I have a couple of friends that fit that bill.

OK, perfect.

Then I'll text you the deets.

Good.

You know, I'm making you rich.

Yeah, let's see if I can find you a daddy.

[laughs]

Zaddy.

[laughs]

[hip-hop music]

[singer] ♪ Make it rain, I want the rice ♪

♪ Whips, chains, Birkins ♪

♪ Diamond rings, [indistinct], more rings... ♪♪

Ah, thank you for being so prompt.

Thank you for actually inviting me.

Well, look at us.

It's a day of firsts.

Yeah.

And speaking of firsts, I have to tell you I was wrong.

Do you remember a while back, we were here,

and I told you I didn't think you were ready for tenure?

Yeah.

I was wrong.

You have no idea how happy that makes me.

And you don't know how uncomfortable

those tears make me.

Ugh.

- Oh. - No.

- Oh. - Oh.

OK. Girl, you need to sit down.

- OK. OK. - Just sit.

Oh!

So does that mean you're staying?

Oh, no, I got to go.

Well, that means I got to take my hug back.

You know, I hate hugging people.

I have really, really enjoyed my time here at Columbia.

You know, but I need a clean break.

I need to grow. I need to graduate.

But the time that I have spent working with you

has been one of my greatest joys.

[chuckles] One.

One of your greatest joys?

Yes, except for when you threw me out the house, well.

You know what? I'm gonna take that compliment.

And I'm gonna say thank you.

And I'll be here if you need me.

Could I need you to write the foreword for my book?

[gasps]

I got the first installment in my advance yesterday,

and I cannot tell you how good it feels.

Congratulations. I've been there.

Yes, absolutely, I will do that for you.

Yes! OK.

Have you settled on a subject?

Musings on Dating

from a Modern Black Anthropologist.

I mean, it's like musings...

That's not the title, right?

I mean, I thought it was very catchy.

You're gonna have to change that

if I'm gonna write the foreword.

OK.

So is this goodbye?

Uh, to Columbia, but you're stuck with me.

What a pity.

You're gonna be stuck with me.

Yeah, I... I know.

[laughs] Oh, ooh!

Yeah, you know what?

[soft music]

Everyone loved your idea for P.

It's one of the best pitches we've seen in a while.

Really?

Like, really?

Like, yeah. [laughs]

I'm sorry. I mean, I just thought

your company was the longest shot.

I mean, I am asking for quite a bit of money,

and y'all don't usually invest in this type of thing.

True, but your idea is not just brilliant.

We need to support tech by more people of color.

They have to be sick of me saying that in meetings,

which is why it was so refreshing to hear your pitch.

You know P is a dating app, right?

You know as much as I do how important it is

to create safe online and real life spaces

for queer people of color.

Your work isn't just political. It's necessary.

You're pretty incredible, Tye.

Wow.

I don't know what to say, except thank you.

Don't thank me yet.

I mean, I'm pretty sure I can push this through,

but I'm just waiting on the final signoff.

I was dead-ass wrong.

Was sure you brought me here to say it was a no,

but didn't want to make a scene in the office.

But I prefer a scene in the café?

Maybe that was a bad idea too.

- [both laugh] - No, rejections are on email.

No chance of a scene there.

But, um, I can't imagine

you have much experience getting rejected.

So thank you for the update. [chuckles]

This coffee is good.

Coffee is good.

So are cocktails.

Tomorrow night?

Um, I'm... I'm sorry.

I'm not currently dating.

I'm doing the whole solo lady thing for a while.

What? Oh. [laughs]

No, no, I wasn't... no.

I... [laughs]

Tomorrow, the team and I

usually grab a drink after work at Antico.

You know, the little Italian place

in the lobby of our building?

No carbon footprint.

We're already there.

Also, if those aren't the best damn breadsticks.

I'm sorry if I assumed that.

No, no, I'm sorry.

I just thought you wanted to get in

some face time with the team.

Yeah, well, maybe I'll swing by.

Love some team face time.

That sounded vaguely dirty.

Vague is my favorite kind of dirt.

I'm sorry, Mike, but I'm still saying no.

After all I just did for you?

You left it all on the field for sure.

You were the quarterback, the running back,

and you let me throw it back.

But I'm still saying no to getting married

in some banquet room in some hotel.

It's a duplex penthouse at the Waldorf.

Yes, but it's, you know, me.

And after seeing Renaissance a third time,

oh, we have to rethink everything.

So you keep saying, but I don't know a priest

who's gonna wanna have backup dancers.

Mm, a smart one.

But we've only been engaged a few months.

Can't we enjoy it before planning?

Baby, you know New York and weddings, right?

Everything good is booked for years.

Oh, damn the gays. [chuckles]

The moment they could do it, everything good got scooped up.

Could you at least

look at the options my assistant sent over?

Sure.

But I'm not trying to think about that right now.

What are you thinking about right now?

[singer] ♪ Put it on me if you want to ♪

Dick. And the D.

The D and the dick morning, noon, and night

is all I think about.

I'm turning into Angie.

Who just bailed on us again!

I hate when women abandon plans for a man,

which is to say, I hate old me.

But, you know, we really can't blame her,

because she is getting the D.

All of a sudden, Ian is really busy with work,

so I sexted him, you know,

the lady equivalent of a dick pic, the clit pic.

All I got back was a thumbs up.

I thought that you were finally moving on.

I did.

I moved.

It's just sex.

But it's still just Ian and no one else.

Yes, but with Ian, there is no surprises.

I mean, he knows my body.

I don't have to teach him anything.

He texts, he comes, we come, he goes.

Postmates for penis.

Exactly!

And I don't have to worry about getting, like,

super gonorrhea from some rando.

OK, since you're asking for advice...

- I am? - [Tye] She wasn't.

I think it's time to decenter dicks

and focus on us.

The smartest thing I ever did was

put loving myself ahead of obsessing over my love life.

Oh?

And you know what I realized?

I'm dope as hell.

Yes! Yes!

Talk your shit!

You're Quinn Motherfuckin' Joseph.

I'm Quinn Motherfuckin' Joseph, bitch!

Yes!

And now that I know that, I can focus on fully being me.

Mm-hmm.

That sounds amazing,

but who's gonna lick my pussy?

[Tye] Exactly.

I mean, I would kill for some good head.

Hell, even some mediocre head,

but Tye's celiba-season continues.

Two months, three weeks, and counting.

I do not know how you've been celibate for this many months.

Tye, how do you know my mom?

How do you know my daughter?

Realizing you're sleeping with your girlfriend's daughter

does wonders for self-control.

Mm, self-control or self-punishment?

Why is she dragging us to the Red Table?

Tye, you made a mistake.

What is being celibate going to do?

Make me better.

I mean, if I wasn't just trying to get laid,

I would have never messed with Zoe.

And I wouldn't have ruined things with Aimee.

- Mm. - I really liked Aimee.

I liked her too, until she called me a clown

and kindly asked me

to stop terrorizing women all over Harlem.

Ooh.

[Tye] We could have had something.

Quitting sex is not gonna magically change you.

For the record, I prefer messy Quinn.

I'm just saying.

Try being honest and open for love.

Negative. If I'm being honest,

I would be face-deep in this chick Eva

I had lunch with earlier.

Ooh.

She is fine, and I think she was feeling me.

I mean, who isn't?

And I'm saying I think you should go for it.

And I'm saying no, I shouldn't.

Listen, if I'm gonna fuck it up with a woman,

it's not gonna fuck with my bag.

I mean, maybe if I was broke and single

and had nothing to lose like Camille,

I'd be scrolling through my old work too,

trying to find a temporary hit.

But no.

You're lucky I only heard half of that

through all of my chewing of these fantastic fries.

[Tye] Ooh. Well, bitch, you better swallow now.

Your old work is here.

[Quinn] Ooh, what are the odds?

Like, 100%... something opens in Harlem,

and you know everybody's gonna be there.

Ian! Ian!

[Tye] Oh, well. [chuckles]

Let me tell you, Ian with a new boo

was not on my bingo card for this year.

No, no, no, no, no. It's not a new boo.

That's Portia.

She's probably only in town for the weekend.

They grew up together.

She's literally like a sister.

What?

[dramatic music]

She ain't kiss him like she his sister.

I mean, maybe she's just

making sure she's not his sister.

Bitch.

OK, OK, OK.

- You know what? - [Quinn] Camille.

Real classy, Ian.

It was just supposed to be no-drama ex sex,

but you made it weird.

Just wave, fucking fuckface asshole.

Uh... uh... uh, maybe count to five before you press Send.

[message blips]

- It's too late. Shit. - [Tye gasps]

How about this?

The two of you guys release the drama of the past

and come with me to a leftovers party tomorrow night.

Yeah, no.

I am locking myself inside

and never coming out ever again.

Fucking phone autocorrected "ex sex" to "Ex-Lax."

- [Tye laughs] - Which you know what?

It's still fitting, considering he's so full of shit!

- OK. - OK, I'm gonna take that,

and you are coming to the party.

Don't get us kicked out of this place.

It just opened.

[upbeat music]

[Quinn] Girl, please just admit it.

The only reason that you're here tonight

is because Michael had somewhere else to go.

Girl, admit how much you are happy to see me.

- I am. - And I thought you liked Mike.

I do.

You almost fucked him at one point until I won.

[laughs] Girl, please.

It's just ever since you moved out, we rarely see you.

I know. I'm sorry.

We just love each other.

Mm.

But consider me sat in next week's brunch.

OK.

And Saturday for girls' night at the club?

I will be there.

And I'll look even better than I do right now,

if that's even possible.

You do look good.

Y'all, this girl Lala's bathroom is the size

of an airplane hangar, and she's got

one of those Japanese toilets that blow water up your cooch.

You don't need batteries for that.

Mm, and I know what I'll be doing later.

- Same. - OK?

Oh, and I know who one of you will be doing later.

Oh.

OK, so to recap, this bitch has money

and some fine-ass friends.

Spoken like a true bride-to-be.

Looking is not cheating.

Look at this.

Look who finally decided to grace me with his response.

[all] Fucking Ian.

Oh, my God. And it's a voice memo?

That's never good.

Girl, we are in a sea of elite cock.

- Fuck Ian. - That's the problem, girl.

- She did. - Touché.

I need to go somewhere where I can actually hear this.

- Don't judge me. - Millie, no.

Girl, do better.

I mean, honestly, are we destined

to remain in the Ian and Camille drama

for the rest of our lives?

- What do you think? - I'm gonna say no.

Like, I really want to say no, but alas.

My, my, my.

Does Johnny Gill have a younger, hotter brother?

Hi.

And bye.

Girl, when they're that small, they just lay there

like a starfish and make you work.

Oh, my God.

And he has a serious case of the smallcox.

Does he really? How can you tell that?

Yeah, it's all about the ratio from foot to leg.

And... nah, bitch, I fucked him.

[laughter]

Quinn, there you are.

Have you met my friend Seth?

I have not.

Um, it's a pleasure.

The pleasure is mine.

We have edibles at the bar.

Oh, is that a statement or an invitation?

It doesn't matter. I'm down.

[chuckles]

I feel like I got a small window of time

to win you over before somebody else does.

So you want to win me?

I mean, I'd like to try.

You look like a prize to me.

- Really? - Yeah.

How so?

It's your eyes.

Sexy, smoldering, genuine.

What's your sign?

I'm a Cancer.

Cancer.

What?

I love Cancers.

Somehow knowing how not to give a fuck

about anything while simultaneously

giving a fuck about everything.

[laughs]

OK, you are very, very good at this.

That mean I'm winning?

It means the window opened up just a little bit more.

Yes!

Go, best friend. That's my best friend.

Ooh!

[Ian] All right, first of all, I don't have to

say hi to you every time I see you.

And I didn't even see you.

And let your friends know they don't gotta give me

a death stare if I'm kissing someone.

We're not together anymore, remember?

[line beeps]

Bitch, you just said that you ain't see me.

[keys clacking, line ringing]

Ho-ho, and now you're sending me to voicemail? OK.

First of all, don't start a message with "first of all,"

because that's inflammatory language,

which basically means that you're

trying to start some shit.

Fuck. Record. OK.

Hi, Ian. I just want you to know...

fuck!

Because it's a problem.

Because the way he acts is a problem.

Oh, it's still record...

You know what, Ian? Fuck you.

I can just tell him to his face

'cause I'm going to his house, and I'ma tell him to his face.

An MLB player at a leftovers party.

Now, that is new.

Well, it's Lala's leftover party,

which mean everybody in here

been vetted within a inch of their lives.

That is true. [laughs]

You must be one of her new friends.

Pretty new.

So you think we could be new friends too?

- Maybe. - Maybe?

Like, maybe as in you don't know you feeling me yet?

'Cause I could step my game up for the right woman.

Well, step it up, then!

[both laugh]

No, um, I feel like

I'm in a place in my life where I'm focused on myself.

I'm down to have fun,

but just the kind that has no pretenses, no labels,

no strings attached.

I'm like you.

I don't really wanna be tied down to one person.

Well, that is perfect,

because I don't want anyone tying me down.

Mm.

I might want somebody to tie me up, though.

See, we can arrange that.

[♪ Floyd Fuji: "Saturday"]

[singer] ♪ It's a 9 to 5 ♪

- [message dings] - [sighs]

Damn.

[singer] ♪ For you and I to get it right ♪♪

[grunting]

[exhales]

[sighs]

[humming catchy tune]

It's eight damn o'clock, and I'm in bed?

One drink won't hurt. [laughs]

[indistinct chatter]

[Eva] And everyone has excelled in the office,

especially you.

- Eva. - [Eva] One sec.

Tye.

Hey.

[laughs]

Did they call you already?

Who?

Business affairs.

We're officially in.

No.

Just pretend to be surprised when they call you next week.

Oh, fake surprise is my specialty.

[gasps] That's great.

Wow, I'm stunned!

[laughter]

Seriously, Eva, thank you.

Oh, no, it wasn't me.

It was you.

Your pitch, your great track record...

that did it.

I just gave them the push for them

to do what they knew was right.

And now I get to work with another Black woman.

How lucky am I?

I feel the same.

And I owe you an apology.

I'm sorry if I made you feel uncomfortable.

I was flirting, which I never do at work.

You're just so overwhelming in all the best ways.

I got caught up, and, um, I thought I felt a vibe.

Oh, you definitely did. [laughs]

But I have to be honest.

I am one big red flag

with a side of mess.

[laughs] Who isn't?

Oh, no, I'm a special kind of toxic.

In fact, I am the star of that site, SheBToxic.

I also just recently got a divorce from my husband,

who I abandoned for over 10 years,

and had a breakup with a woman once we found out that

my jump-off was her daughter.

Yeah, it's like a Maury episode.

So, um, you seem amazing,

but I don't wanna fuck your life up.

Babe, it's just a drink.

Always starts out that way.

Then bam, hot mess.

So don't get messy.

Easier said than done.

Mm, nah, I don't think so.

It's just... you make a different choice.

Mm.

Let me get you a drink.

I'm buying.

[banging on door]

[mellow music]

Ugh.

[laughing]

Camille.

Wow, um, hi.

Hi.

Wow, Portia, you look great.

It's been a long time.

We should hang.

Hey, is Ian there?

Um, is everything OK?

Yeah, you know, he's just not answering his phone.

- Oh. - We could talk...

It's on, so...

Oh! Hi, Ian.

Hey.

There he is.

I'll be in a sec, baby.

Yeah. Good night.

It's good to see you, girl.

[Portia] Yep.

Girl, showing up like this unannounced isn't cool.

And neither the fuck is your wack-ass voice memo

and your thumbs up to my clit.

OK, I knew it.

I knew you wasn't gonna be able to handle this.

[laughing] Oh, please.

OK, you know what?

That's so crazy that it needs three syllables...

nih-ih-gah, puh-lease.

This is not about me not handling something.

You were the one who's acting weird

and acting like you didn't see me.

Yeah, well, I see you now.

Well, yeah!

Since you here, you should probably know

I'm seeing Portia now.

OK, the rules.

I don't need to know who you're fucking.

It's different.

I mean, we're exclusive.

I mean, it's serious.

[scoffs]

Really, Ian?

After two months?

Yeah, when people know what they want,

things move kind of quick.

Why waste time?

So is that what I was doing?

Wasting your time?

I'm just saying, since Portia came back to Harlem,

we clicked, like, on a different level.

You know, we grew up together.

Things are different with us.

We're starting a life together now.

Well, good for you, Ian.

But couldn't you have just maybe told me

instead of leaving me hanging,

waiting for me to see you

with your tongue down someone else's throat?

Camille, we're not even together.

I don't know what you want from me, all right?

But if you showed up just to hear it from me,

then here it is: we're done.

We're done.

Sexting, ex sexing, or whatever.

OK.

All right.

- I could do you one better. - [phone beeps]

- You blocked! - Mm.

- Blocked! - All right, Camille.

Asshole.

[Seth] Damn.

Dressed already?

I'm almost offended.

Did I not deliver on the fun last night?

Oh, you delivered, and then some.

It's just that I have a full day ahead,

so coffee?

Definitely.

Thank you.

[phone ringing]

Shit.

Yo.

Lost? What do you mean, it's lost?

How the fuck am I supposed to get dressed for the ceremony?

Did you call Carli?

Straight to voicemail?

Look, keep calling her.

And let me know as soon as you get her, all right?

[sighs]

Fuck!

OK.

Sounds like someone might need a little space.

My bad, Quinn.

I didn't mean to blow up like that.

I'm going to the ESPYs tonight.

The garment bag my stylist sent to the hotel

is somehow missing, and she's nowhere to be found.

If only there were, like,

a million men's clothing stores in New York.

Oh, wait.

Yeah, see, I don't shop.

That's why I hired Carli.

She knows my sizes.

All my suits are custom-made to fit.

OK.

How about this?

Call Bergdorf and ask for personal shopper Jessica.

Only Jessica because the others are way too slow,

and they're not very good with darker skin tones.

Give her your hotel information.

She's gonna get your measurements,

pull a few options, and then I will alter anything

so that it fits you like custom.

And this doesn't mess up the whole no-strings-attached,

fun-only thing?

Well, here's the thing.

I am a designer, so fashion is fun for me.

And consider it a thank you,

you know, for the orgasm last night?

It's been a long time since a woman surprised me.

Well, that's just it. I'm not just any woman.

I'm Quinn Motherfuckin' Joseph.

[Camille] Saying goodbye isn't always to others.

It can also be to who we used to be.

And it is in this spirit

that I say goodbye to all of you

and to Columbia University.

[applause]

[♪ Aqyila: "Effortlessly"]

[singer] ♪ Take a breath and just, ah ♪

♪ Woosah ♪

[Camille] But letting go can also mean letting in,

making space for something new.

[singer] ♪ Effortlessly ♪

♪ What's on its way will not miss me ♪

♪ Effortlessly ♪♪

[Quinn] OK.

Now, that is a perfect fit.

You know I owe you, right?

Trust and believe that I will bill you.

Trust and believe that I already know you're worth it.

I'll be back.

How you doing?

Seth Rankin, great season.

Man, 48 homers, 130 RBIs.

How does it feel to be back at the top of your game?

It's unreal.

I'm grateful for all my guys, and of course,

the city of Chicago.

What up, Chi-Town?

Keep doing them proud.

Thank you. Thank you.

And I am digging this suit!

Well, this whole look is Quinn Joseph, my new stylist.

[reporter] Quinn, Quinn!

She's incredible, right?

[laughs] Thanks.

[Seth] Thank you.

[hip-hop music]

[singer] ♪ West side, we hustlin' ♪

♪ East side, we hustlin' ♪

♪ Hustlin', I'm built for it... ♪♪

Oh, my gosh.

Guys, I guess I'm a stylist now.

My DMs have been blowing up with requests after tonight.

Look, it's like what I've been saying.

Let go of the worry, and good things will happen.

Well, Zen Quinn,

I hate to admit it, but you're right.

I secured funding for P and got me a little date

- while I was there. - [Quinn] Whoo!

Yeah. [laughs]

Yeah!

And I said goodbye to Columbia and to Ian.

Cheers to that.

Here's to us moving into a new era.

Yes.

[all] Arriba, abajo, al centro...

Stop, stop, stop!

You came!

Well, baby, I told you I would.

Yes, girl.

It's my fault that she's late.

Hey, Mr. Fiancé.

We got held up looking at another venue

that would never work.

Held up?

As in robbed?

Like wasting time on a place that

was too small to fit my bachelorette party,

let alone my wedding.

[Michael] Maybe y'all can help me out here.

I think a wedding is sacred.

It should be an intimate thing, not a big production.

Have you met Angie?

Thank you.

Well, if by intimate,

you mean small, that's the way to go.

I mean, weddings are a bad investment.

You're just throwing money into the toilet.

[mouths words]

See, I think 15, 20 people would be nice.

Romantic.

There are more than 20 people in Angie's immediate family.

And what about her friends?

Are we not invited?

OK, and we cannot forget about my cousins...

first, second, and thirds.

I got family.

I just... I just want you all to myself.

- That's all. - [all] Aww.

Aw, get a room.

Get a room.

Let's get a shot so we can toast too.

Oh, no, no, no.

You can actually have mine because my stomach

- is feeling weird. - Thank you.

Oh, my God. Toast to me.

Yes, I'll do.

And my wedding.

[all] Yeah!

An extra large one.

[laughter]

Shit.

Uh, my client was supposed to upload

a few documents to a title company,

and they still haven't received them.

Baby, I'm so sorry, but I gotta run, all right?

Please, let me...

let me treat.

Ooh, I like that.

- Fix it up. - OK.

Thank you.

You get a point from me, Michael, for that.

See you later.

- Bye. - Thanks.

Ooh, I have to pee again.

Girl, this is, like, the fourth time

since we've been here.

I've been feeling off all day.

Whew.

- You OK? Cam? - Cammie?

I just...

[all exclaiming]

Oh, my God!

Chair, chair.

Get her some water!

Some water!

[doctor] You're totally fine.

And so is your baby.

Congratulations, dear.

You are pregnant.

[♪ Ice Spice: "Deli"]

[Camille] And sometimes what felt like a messy goodbye

is actually a far, far more complicated hello.

I'm pregnant.

[singer] ♪ Me and baddies be gettin' along ♪

♪ So they always be singin' my song ♪

♪ Steppin' outside, I'ma put that shit on ♪

♪ 300 and then I perform ♪

♪ You know I'ma get to the bag ♪

♪ All the hatin' bitches to the back ♪

♪ Too much to lose so I cannot react ♪

♪ Damn, bitches be goin' out sad ♪

♪ She a baddie, she showin' her panty ♪

♪ She shake it like jelly, damn ♪

♪ Hunnit bands in Chanely ♪

♪ But I'm still shaking ass in a deli, grrah ♪

♪ With my bitch gettin' dirty ♪

♪ He like him a wetty ♪

♪ He want the WAP, but I just want the fetty ♪

♪ And I'm baggin' his partner, I'm petty ♪

♪ Feelin' a smooch and I'm showin' my coochie ♪

♪ PJ to Emilio Pucci ♪

♪ I love white bitches like shoutout to Lucy ♪

♪ If she bad, then I let her seduce me ♪

♪ I'm the shit, I'm that bitch, I'm Miss Poopie ♪

♪ Juice in my cup got me feelin' real loopy ♪

♪ 40-inch, middle-parted ♪

♪ He got all my pics hearted ♪

♪ They all like, damn, Ice, your flow be the hardest ♪

♪ I'm not a regular artist ♪

♪ Grrah, grrah ♪

♪ Goku and I'm just gettin' started ♪

♪ Baddies on baddies, they know how to move ♪

♪ 'Ooters on 'ooters, they know how to 'oot ♪

♪ Bussin' that pack, goin' straight to the moon ♪

♪ Off the juice, actin' loose ♪

♪ She a baddie, she showin' her panty ♪

♪ She shake it like jelly, damn ♪

♪ Hunnit bands in Chanely ♪

♪ But I'm still shakin' ass in the deli ♪

♪ With my bitch gettin' dirty ♪

♪ He like him a wetty ♪

♪ He want the WAP, but I just want the fetty ♪

♪ And I'm baggin' his partner, I'm petty ♪♪

♪ ♪