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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:01,000 --> 00:00:04,461 ♪ It seems today that all you see ♪ 2 00:00:04,462 --> 00:00:07,589 ♪ Is violence in movies and sex on TV ♪ 3 00:00:07,590 --> 00:00:11,343 ♪ But where are those good old-fashioned values ♪ 4 00:00:11,344 --> 00:00:14,346 ♪ On which we used to rely? ♪ 5 00:00:14,347 --> 00:00:17,641 ♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪ 6 00:00:17,642 --> 00:00:21,353 ♪ Lucky there's a man who positively can do ♪ 7 00:00:21,354 --> 00:00:22,896 ♪ All the things that make us ♪ 8 00:00:22,897 --> 00:00:24,398 ♪ Laugh and cry ♪ 9 00:00:24,399 --> 00:00:30,029 ♪ He's... a... Fam... ily... Guy! ♪ 10 00:00:34,617 --> 00:00:37,286 I tell you, Sundays are the best, aren't they? 11 00:00:37,287 --> 00:00:39,037 You said it, chief. 12 00:00:39,038 --> 00:00:40,497 Hey, Chris, what's the name of the girl 13 00:00:40,498 --> 00:00:42,708 on the end of the couch? I'm sure I've met her before. 14 00:00:42,709 --> 00:00:45,210 I'll introduce myself to her. That'll get her to say it. 15 00:00:45,211 --> 00:00:48,630 Hi. I'm Chris. 16 00:00:48,631 --> 00:00:49,840 Hi, Chris. 17 00:00:49,841 --> 00:00:51,759 Well, that didn't work. 18 00:00:51,760 --> 00:00:53,927 This Sunday at the Quahog Convention Center, 19 00:00:53,928 --> 00:00:56,388 it's Streaming-Con. 20 00:00:56,390 --> 00:00:58,391 All your favorite YouTubers, Instagrammers, 21 00:00:58,392 --> 00:01:02,979 social media mavens and digital influencers under one roof. 22 00:01:02,980 --> 00:01:05,732 Social media? Better swap my glasses for a monocle 23 00:01:05,733 --> 00:01:08,902 that will pop out when I'm confronted with modern talk. 24 00:01:08,903 --> 00:01:12,405 LOL at thousands of the hottest Vimeos, memes, 25 00:01:12,406 --> 00:01:14,782 - epic fails. - Heavens! 26 00:01:14,783 --> 00:01:18,411 Meet disgraced YouTube star Logan Paul and his cool bus, 27 00:01:18,412 --> 00:01:19,871 the Golden Throated Homeless Guy 28 00:01:19,872 --> 00:01:21,873 and his cool bus he poops in, 29 00:01:21,874 --> 00:01:23,666 Newly Sober Cat... 30 00:01:23,667 --> 00:01:25,335 formerly Grumpy Cat... 31 00:01:25,336 --> 00:01:28,171 -and teen influencers Tyler Oakley... -Who? 32 00:01:28,172 --> 00:01:29,547 - Lele Pons... - What? 33 00:01:29,548 --> 00:01:30,840 - GloZell... - Where? 34 00:01:30,841 --> 00:01:32,383 - Joey Graceffa! - When? 35 00:01:32,384 --> 00:01:34,636 - Sunday. I already said that. - Oh, I'm so embarrassed. 36 00:01:34,637 --> 00:01:36,596 With special guest star, everyone's favorite 37 00:01:36,597 --> 00:01:40,141 Internet how-to whiz, Corey from Corey's World. 38 00:01:40,142 --> 00:01:43,019 What's going on, guys? I'm Corey from Corey's World. 39 00:01:43,020 --> 00:01:44,771 And I'm gonna be live and in-person 40 00:01:44,772 --> 00:01:46,064 at the Quahog Streaming-Con, 41 00:01:46,065 --> 00:01:48,316 where you'll see I'm only five-foot-two. 42 00:01:48,317 --> 00:01:50,610 And remember, that Nazi stuff I said was in the heat 43 00:01:50,611 --> 00:01:52,487 of a very competitive Halo game. 44 00:01:52,488 --> 00:01:54,739 And congratulations to Goldblatt69, 45 00:01:54,740 --> 00:01:57,033 whose people definitely do not control the media 46 00:01:57,034 --> 00:01:58,701 and all banking. 47 00:01:58,702 --> 00:02:00,870 Dad, can we go to Streaming-Con? 48 00:02:00,871 --> 00:02:02,580 Well, I wasn't watching all that closely. 49 00:02:02,581 --> 00:02:04,249 Is it like a rodeo? 50 00:02:04,250 --> 00:02:05,708 Um, sure. 51 00:02:05,709 --> 00:02:08,170 We're going to Streaming-Con! Giddyup! 52 00:02:09,880 --> 00:02:12,715 Looks like someone's going to Streaming-Con. 53 00:02:12,716 --> 00:02:14,885 Rope a doggy for me. 54 00:02:22,434 --> 00:02:24,978 Oh, awesome. Look over there. You can take a selfie 55 00:02:24,979 --> 00:02:28,065 in a hospital bed to get social media attention. 56 00:02:30,734 --> 00:02:34,654 "Don't really want to get into it, but I'm fine." 57 00:02:35,948 --> 00:02:39,576 Oh, boy. Well, this is the last thing I wanted. 58 00:02:43,414 --> 00:02:46,874 I'm gonna do a Instagram story here where I insult a loner 59 00:02:46,875 --> 00:02:49,419 and it becomes a whole thing. 60 00:02:49,420 --> 00:02:53,965 What's up, everybody? I'm here at Streaming-Con 2019. 61 00:02:53,966 --> 00:02:56,467 Weird ponytail. 62 00:02:56,468 --> 00:02:58,886 They got a whole booth of cat GIFs here. 63 00:02:58,887 --> 00:03:00,513 Jiff? 64 00:03:00,514 --> 00:03:03,308 How-how do you say... Uh-oh. 65 00:03:03,309 --> 00:03:05,852 Hey, man, I didn't say anything to that guy. 66 00:03:05,853 --> 00:03:08,062 This is ridiculous. You're hurting my wrist! 67 00:03:08,063 --> 00:03:09,147 So check this out, guys. 68 00:03:09,148 --> 00:03:11,316 I got kicked out of Streaming-Con 2019. 69 00:03:11,317 --> 00:03:13,693 Now, I don't know if anyone watching this is a lawyer, 70 00:03:13,694 --> 00:03:15,653 especially a constitutional lawyer, 71 00:03:15,654 --> 00:03:16,946 but... 72 00:03:16,947 --> 00:03:18,031 Hey. 73 00:03:18,032 --> 00:03:20,408 Hey, guys, so I'm in my own trunk. 74 00:03:20,409 --> 00:03:21,951 Uh, I think I'm gonna get murdered. 75 00:03:21,952 --> 00:03:23,619 Uh, but before I do, I forgot, 76 00:03:23,620 --> 00:03:25,079 I'm supposed to mention Triscuits. 77 00:03:25,080 --> 00:03:26,706 Really, all the Nabisco products, 78 00:03:26,707 --> 00:03:27,832 they're-they're solid. 79 00:03:27,833 --> 00:03:29,208 You know, like, on the back of Triscuits 80 00:03:29,209 --> 00:03:31,210 when they give you the recipes for those snacks? 81 00:03:31,211 --> 00:03:32,628 Like, the-the mini pizzas? 82 00:03:32,629 --> 00:03:34,756 I swear to God, make those little pizzas. 83 00:03:34,757 --> 00:03:37,050 Hashtag it: #PetesTriscuitLifeHacks. 84 00:03:37,051 --> 00:03:38,843 Go ahead and check it out. Recipe in bio. 85 00:03:38,844 --> 00:03:40,012 Whoa! 86 00:03:45,225 --> 00:03:47,101 I got away. 87 00:03:47,102 --> 00:03:50,772 Hey, guys, I'm in an Uber, heading back to Streaming-Con. 88 00:03:50,773 --> 00:03:52,983 Uh, man bun alert. 89 00:03:57,446 --> 00:04:00,823 Now seating for Corey: The Live Experience. 90 00:04:00,824 --> 00:04:02,867 All religions welcome. 91 00:04:02,868 --> 00:04:04,619 That's us! Come on, everyone! 92 00:04:04,620 --> 00:04:06,120 Hey, where's Brian? 93 00:04:06,121 --> 00:04:08,956 Hey, you know how Snapchat puts a fake dog tongue on you? 94 00:04:08,957 --> 00:04:11,418 How'd you like a real one? 95 00:04:12,878 --> 00:04:15,755 - That was bad. - Eh, times have changed. 96 00:04:15,756 --> 00:04:17,799 Three years ago, I would've been a hero. 97 00:04:17,800 --> 00:04:19,634 Three years ago, they would've been 12. 98 00:04:19,635 --> 00:04:21,010 I need a nap. 99 00:04:21,011 --> 00:04:23,471 Brian, turn on the heat and NPR. 100 00:04:23,472 --> 00:04:26,474 We now return to NPR's Fresh Air. 101 00:04:26,475 --> 00:04:29,227 My guest today is a white music writer 102 00:04:29,228 --> 00:04:32,438 who has written a book about the history of hip-hop. 103 00:04:32,439 --> 00:04:34,232 Stewie's loss. 104 00:04:34,233 --> 00:04:36,275 I'm sure this'll be an enriching discussion. 105 00:04:36,276 --> 00:04:40,238 Hip-hop has its roots in the call-and-response tradition 106 00:04:40,239 --> 00:04:42,782 of the Southern black Baptist church. 107 00:04:56,296 --> 00:04:58,423 Well, a nap was just what the doctor ordered. 108 00:04:58,424 --> 00:05:01,926 -I feel like a new... -And, of course, you can't write a history of rap 109 00:05:01,927 --> 00:05:04,429 without mentioning Gil Scott-Heron... 110 00:05:09,643 --> 00:05:10,977 What's going on, guys? 111 00:05:10,978 --> 00:05:13,020 I'm Corey from Corey's World. 112 00:05:13,021 --> 00:05:15,148 And today, I'm gonna show you how anyone can become 113 00:05:15,149 --> 00:05:18,943 an Internet celebrity, like me, Corey from Corey's World. 114 00:05:18,944 --> 00:05:22,572 I bet you can't make my daughter Meg an Internet celebrity. 115 00:05:22,573 --> 00:05:23,906 Dad, stop. 116 00:05:23,907 --> 00:05:26,242 No, stand up, young lady. 117 00:05:26,243 --> 00:05:29,287 Rectangle body, fridge bod, untapped market. 118 00:05:29,288 --> 00:05:30,580 Go with that. 119 00:05:30,581 --> 00:05:32,623 Everybody, hashtag #FridgeBodMeg. 120 00:05:32,624 --> 00:05:34,125 You're welcome. 121 00:05:34,126 --> 00:05:36,377 Oh, my God, Dad! 122 00:05:36,378 --> 00:05:37,879 I'm trending on Twitter. 123 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:39,130 That's awesome, Meg. 124 00:05:39,131 --> 00:05:42,300 I say we celebrate by eating Triscuit pizzas. 125 00:05:42,301 --> 00:05:44,677 - Is it good? - The recipe's right on the box. 126 00:05:44,678 --> 00:05:46,471 - Yeah, but is it good? - You can make them 127 00:05:46,472 --> 00:05:49,015 with ingredients you probably already have in the house. 128 00:05:49,016 --> 00:05:52,393 - Dad, what does it taste like? - That's right. 129 00:05:52,394 --> 00:05:55,605 Ugh! It's like I dropped a tomato in some hay. 130 00:05:55,606 --> 00:05:58,107 Yeah, it's like if a horse made a pizza. 131 00:05:58,108 --> 00:06:01,445 Triscuits: make sure you have a drink nearby. 132 00:06:06,950 --> 00:06:08,951 All right, Meg, now that you're an Internet personality, 133 00:06:08,952 --> 00:06:10,578 we got to build your brand. 134 00:06:10,579 --> 00:06:11,954 Is there anything you can do? 135 00:06:11,955 --> 00:06:13,706 Uh, yeah, actually, I can... 136 00:06:17,586 --> 00:06:19,921 I-Is... 137 00:06:19,922 --> 00:06:22,715 Is there anything you can do in front of your dad? 138 00:06:22,716 --> 00:06:24,842 - I can shuffle a deck of cards. - Oh, good. 139 00:06:24,843 --> 00:06:26,177 With my... 140 00:06:28,639 --> 00:06:32,017 All right, we're taking your bedroom door off the hinges. 141 00:06:34,269 --> 00:06:36,687 Is the lady who owns the Prius here? 142 00:06:36,688 --> 00:06:39,732 -Uh, actually, that's me. -Oh, well, your wife's car is totaled. 143 00:06:39,733 --> 00:06:41,400 - It's my car. - Sorry. 144 00:06:41,401 --> 00:06:43,903 We were, however, able to save your purse. 145 00:06:43,904 --> 00:06:46,197 It's a gender-fluid Euro carrier. 146 00:06:46,198 --> 00:06:48,616 Either way, we'll have it towed back to San Francisco. 147 00:06:48,617 --> 00:06:51,244 Hey, there are plenty of closer gay cities, you big ape. 148 00:06:51,245 --> 00:06:52,828 How did this turn into my fight? 149 00:06:52,829 --> 00:06:54,372 You're gonna need a loaner. 150 00:06:54,373 --> 00:06:57,166 We have a pink Volkswagen Beetle you might feel comfortable in. 151 00:06:57,167 --> 00:06:59,544 Ooh, Brian, we could be two in the pink! 152 00:06:59,545 --> 00:07:01,087 Take that one! Take that one! 153 00:07:01,088 --> 00:07:02,421 Yeah, I'm thinking of something sportier. 154 00:07:02,422 --> 00:07:05,633 - The red Miata it is. - Give me your manliest car! 155 00:07:05,634 --> 00:07:07,009 Bill, I need a Hummer. 156 00:07:07,010 --> 00:07:09,512 Again? You're insatiable. 157 00:07:09,513 --> 00:07:10,888 Wise guy. 158 00:07:30,867 --> 00:07:33,703 Wow, that thing's big. 159 00:07:33,704 --> 00:07:35,454 Brian, it's night now. 160 00:07:41,461 --> 00:07:44,380 What's up? This is Refrigerator Meg. 161 00:07:44,381 --> 00:07:47,341 Thought I'd give you a tour of my refrigerator lifestyle. 162 00:07:47,342 --> 00:07:49,218 Let's see what we've got in here. 163 00:07:49,219 --> 00:07:52,513 Ooh, check, check, check it out! 164 00:07:52,514 --> 00:07:54,056 Boom! Mini cream! 165 00:07:54,057 --> 00:07:56,434 Oh, and what's this? Strawberry yogurt? 166 00:07:56,435 --> 00:07:58,853 Is-is your girl Meg some kind of health nut? 167 00:07:58,854 --> 00:08:02,941 No, turn it around: 35 grams of sugar! 168 00:08:04,776 --> 00:08:06,611 Yeah, through the roof! 169 00:08:06,612 --> 00:08:08,487 Check it, check it, what's this? 170 00:08:08,488 --> 00:08:10,615 A bacon drawer? Stacked. 171 00:08:10,616 --> 00:08:13,242 Rashers on rashers. Best part about these bad boys? 172 00:08:13,243 --> 00:08:15,369 Don't even have to cook them. 173 00:08:15,370 --> 00:08:17,914 Cook them right in your stomach! 174 00:08:19,249 --> 00:08:21,710 Wash it down with a little cream! 175 00:08:29,217 --> 00:08:32,012 Oh, boy, that's-that's going right through me. 176 00:08:36,099 --> 00:08:39,435 Sponsored by Oscar Mayer and Land O'Lakes. 177 00:08:39,436 --> 00:08:42,063 If it's not Land O'Lakes, it's not cream! 178 00:08:43,982 --> 00:08:45,983 - Hey, Meg? - You can't use the Charmin. 179 00:08:45,984 --> 00:08:48,402 You're now sponsored by Safeway Rough 'n' Thin. 180 00:08:48,403 --> 00:08:50,488 Don't forget to wash the tip of your middle finger 181 00:08:50,489 --> 00:08:52,032 when you're done. 182 00:09:01,416 --> 00:09:03,042 Mom, we've got a problem. 183 00:09:03,043 --> 00:09:05,544 See, I-I promoted Magic Shell ice cream topping on my channel, 184 00:09:05,545 --> 00:09:08,214 - so-so they sent me a ton of it. - Yeah, so? 185 00:09:08,215 --> 00:09:10,258 Dad Han Solo'd himself. 186 00:09:11,301 --> 00:09:13,762 Oh, my God, he's gonna suffocate. 187 00:09:19,017 --> 00:09:22,979 I created a vanilla ice cream Peter covered in Magic Shell. 188 00:09:22,980 --> 00:09:25,564 - Why? - Because I must. 189 00:09:25,565 --> 00:09:27,608 Don't listen to him. He's an imposter. 190 00:09:27,609 --> 00:09:29,276 - I'm the real Peter. - No, you're not. 191 00:09:29,277 --> 00:09:31,112 I made you. I'm the real Peter. 192 00:09:31,113 --> 00:09:33,447 Oh-oh, my God, I-I don't know which one to believe. 193 00:09:33,448 --> 00:09:36,575 What do you mean? I'm a guy, and he's ice cream. 194 00:09:40,038 --> 00:09:42,248 Thank God, Lois. 195 00:09:42,249 --> 00:09:45,209 Does anyone mind if I turn the thermostat down 196 00:09:45,210 --> 00:09:47,004 to 32 degrees? 197 00:09:51,258 --> 00:09:54,593 ♪ There ain't a reason on Earth to waste it ♪ 198 00:09:54,594 --> 00:09:59,014 ♪ It ain't a crime to be good to yourself ♪ 199 00:09:59,015 --> 00:10:00,975 ♪ Lick it up ♪ 200 00:10:00,976 --> 00:10:02,309 ♪ Lick it up... ♪ 201 00:10:02,310 --> 00:10:03,811 - Yeah? - It's me. 202 00:10:03,812 --> 00:10:05,604 Can you change the station? 203 00:10:07,399 --> 00:10:08,649 ♪ Whoa, lick it up... ♪ 204 00:10:09,943 --> 00:10:11,110 ♪ Don't need to wait... ♪ 205 00:10:11,111 --> 00:10:13,946 ♪ Oh... ♪ 206 00:10:13,947 --> 00:10:16,365 ♪ Oh, yeah... ♪ 207 00:10:16,366 --> 00:10:19,952 Five different stations, all playing "Lick It Up" by Kiss. 208 00:10:19,953 --> 00:10:21,245 Hummer. 209 00:10:21,246 --> 00:10:23,038 Well, it's nice of you to once again drive me 210 00:10:23,039 --> 00:10:24,165 to day care, Brian. 211 00:10:24,166 --> 00:10:25,583 Sure. It's only three klicks away. 212 00:10:25,584 --> 00:10:27,918 I just hope I don't get branded a "Hummer guy." 213 00:10:27,919 --> 00:10:29,336 I can feel the Earth warming. 214 00:10:29,337 --> 00:10:31,088 No one needs a car this big. 215 00:10:31,089 --> 00:10:33,340 Yes, but I like how when you cut to an outside shot, 216 00:10:33,341 --> 00:10:35,384 Sam Elliott is narrating your drive. 217 00:10:35,385 --> 00:10:38,763 When you need to take a talking baby to day care, 218 00:10:38,764 --> 00:10:40,014 you'll move mountains. 219 00:10:40,015 --> 00:10:42,808 And if the mountains won't move, 220 00:10:42,809 --> 00:10:44,977 drive right over 'em. 221 00:10:44,978 --> 00:10:47,563 Hummer. 222 00:10:47,564 --> 00:10:51,442 And, yes, Big Lebowski fans, I've seen the movie. 223 00:10:51,443 --> 00:10:54,488 I don't need to hear the lines. 224 00:10:59,451 --> 00:11:02,411 This place is paying Meg? Uh, to do what? 225 00:11:02,412 --> 00:11:04,371 Nothing. When you have a million followers, 226 00:11:04,372 --> 00:11:05,873 people just pay you to hang out. 227 00:11:05,874 --> 00:11:09,210 Yo, yo, yo! Everything here is made with corn syrup! 228 00:11:09,211 --> 00:11:12,714 Just drink the corn syrup! 229 00:11:20,096 --> 00:11:21,889 Oh, my God, she collapsed! 230 00:11:21,890 --> 00:11:24,433 We got to get her to the hospital. 231 00:11:24,434 --> 00:11:27,061 ♪ Don't want to wait till you know me better... ♪ 232 00:11:27,062 --> 00:11:29,897 - Anybody need a ride to the hospital? 233 00:11:29,898 --> 00:11:31,065 What? 234 00:11:31,066 --> 00:11:33,484 Does anybody need a ride to the hospital? 235 00:11:33,485 --> 00:11:35,194 How is she? 236 00:11:35,195 --> 00:11:37,488 - What? - How is Meg? 237 00:11:37,489 --> 00:11:41,909 I'm worried! Her pulse is very weak! 238 00:11:41,910 --> 00:11:44,830 Her middle finger smells weird. 239 00:11:47,040 --> 00:11:48,582 Meg has Type 2 diabetes. 240 00:11:48,583 --> 00:11:50,167 The one where you're supposed to shame her, 241 00:11:50,168 --> 00:11:51,460 not feel sorry for her. 242 00:11:51,461 --> 00:11:54,214 But I need to draw a little more blood for the lab. 243 00:11:58,343 --> 00:12:00,261 As I suspected. Sap. 244 00:12:00,262 --> 00:12:03,097 - Vermont gold. - I love sugaring season. 245 00:12:03,098 --> 00:12:04,431 Me too. 246 00:12:04,432 --> 00:12:08,143 "The moon, though slight, was moon enough to show 247 00:12:08,144 --> 00:12:10,479 "On every tree a bucket with a lid, 248 00:12:10,480 --> 00:12:14,149 And on black ground, a bearskin rug of snow." 249 00:12:14,150 --> 00:12:17,236 Robert Frost, "Evening In A Sugar Orchard." 250 00:12:17,237 --> 00:12:19,613 Robert Frost! 251 00:12:19,614 --> 00:12:21,282 What? Dad? 252 00:12:21,283 --> 00:12:23,742 It's okay, Meg. You had a diabetic coma dream. 253 00:12:23,743 --> 00:12:27,330 Dad's still an idiot. I'm still an idiot. 254 00:12:33,795 --> 00:12:37,673 Coming up, local anchor brings a concealed weapon to work, 255 00:12:37,674 --> 00:12:39,216 as is his right. 256 00:12:39,217 --> 00:12:42,052 But first, popular Internet star Meg Griffin 257 00:12:42,053 --> 00:12:43,721 has Type 2 diabetes, 258 00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:47,975 and is also the new face of diabetes drug Pancresta. 259 00:12:47,976 --> 00:12:49,518 Refrigerator Meg here. 260 00:12:49,519 --> 00:12:53,188 If diabetes has you down, get your insulin levels up 261 00:12:53,189 --> 00:12:54,690 with Pancresta. 262 00:12:54,691 --> 00:12:56,108 Pancresta may cause heart disease, 263 00:12:56,109 --> 00:12:57,526 swelling, allergic reactions. 264 00:12:57,527 --> 00:12:59,111 Do not take Pancresta if you are pregnant 265 00:12:59,112 --> 00:13:00,571 or plan on becoming pregnant. 266 00:13:00,572 --> 00:13:02,072 If you have a problem with addiction, 267 00:13:02,073 --> 00:13:04,408 do not take Pancresta, as smoking Pancresta may mimic 268 00:13:04,409 --> 00:13:06,035 the otherworldly high of heroin. 269 00:13:06,036 --> 00:13:08,037 Chopping up and snorting Pancresta may amplify 270 00:13:08,038 --> 00:13:09,997 and/or enhance sexual experience. 271 00:13:09,998 --> 00:13:12,875 Rock concerts on Pancresta may be excessively transformative. 272 00:13:12,876 --> 00:13:15,044 Pancresta may cause intense philosophical 273 00:13:15,045 --> 00:13:16,503 and scientific breakthroughs. 274 00:13:16,504 --> 00:13:18,589 Pancresta can be delivered directly to your home, 275 00:13:18,590 --> 00:13:20,716 and since we're here, why not, we'll do a bump. 276 00:13:20,717 --> 00:13:22,968 Pancresta is not for everyone, just the sexy people. 277 00:13:22,969 --> 00:13:25,220 Lame losers should not take Pancresta. 278 00:13:25,221 --> 00:13:26,513 Pancresta. 279 00:13:26,514 --> 00:13:29,601 Makes opiates look like baby aspirin. 280 00:13:31,937 --> 00:13:34,897 Meg, like everyone who doesn't have diabetes, 281 00:13:34,898 --> 00:13:36,440 I'm not sure how it works, 282 00:13:36,441 --> 00:13:38,108 but I do know you could go blind, 283 00:13:38,109 --> 00:13:41,153 you could have organ failure, you could lose your feet. 284 00:13:41,154 --> 00:13:43,572 No amount of fame is worth this. 285 00:13:43,573 --> 00:13:45,616 James Woods High School will also be saluting 286 00:13:45,617 --> 00:13:47,826 their own diabetic Internet celebrity 287 00:13:47,827 --> 00:13:49,954 with a pep rally in her honor this Thursday. 288 00:13:49,955 --> 00:13:53,248 Sponsored by Pancresta, which feels like being inside 289 00:13:53,249 --> 00:13:55,877 the warm, wet mouth of the Lord. 290 00:14:04,844 --> 00:14:07,346 You know, I think you like driving this Hummer. 291 00:14:07,347 --> 00:14:08,889 You're a Hummer guy. 292 00:14:08,890 --> 00:14:11,767 I'm not a Hummer guy, Stewie. I'm a responsible Prius driver 293 00:14:11,768 --> 00:14:13,978 who's making the best of a bad situation. 294 00:14:13,979 --> 00:14:15,562 I didn't ask for this car. 295 00:14:15,563 --> 00:14:17,815 I also didn't ask for these slowpokes in front of me. 296 00:14:17,816 --> 00:14:20,859 - Out of the way, you old bag! - Brian, that's Paul McCartney 297 00:14:20,860 --> 00:14:23,654 doing "Carpool Karaoke" songs we can afford. 298 00:14:23,655 --> 00:14:28,075 ♪ She'll be coming 'round the mountain when she comes ♪ 299 00:14:28,076 --> 00:14:29,827 ♪ Whoo! ♪ 300 00:14:32,205 --> 00:14:33,831 How should we end the scene, Brian? 301 00:14:33,832 --> 00:14:35,916 Sam Elliott or Kiss "Lick it Up"? 302 00:14:35,917 --> 00:14:37,376 Why not both? 303 00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,753 "Lick it up. Lick it up. 304 00:14:39,754 --> 00:14:41,380 Oh, yeah." 305 00:14:41,381 --> 00:14:44,384 That's about all I care to read of that. 306 00:14:49,848 --> 00:14:51,765 Refrigerator Meg here 307 00:14:51,766 --> 00:14:53,392 having one of my favorite snacks: 308 00:14:53,393 --> 00:14:55,394 french fry sandwiches on white bread. 309 00:14:55,395 --> 00:14:59,148 Bad sugars and starches are the bomb! 310 00:15:04,612 --> 00:15:07,948 Meg's feet are gone. Rotted. 311 00:15:07,949 --> 00:15:10,743 I have a gift for knowing when something bad happens 312 00:15:10,744 --> 00:15:14,913 to someone's legs, kind of like a shining. 313 00:15:20,628 --> 00:15:23,505 How you doing, doc? 314 00:15:35,477 --> 00:15:38,145 Oh, you were thirsty, weren't you? 315 00:15:38,146 --> 00:15:39,605 Good girl. No! 316 00:15:39,606 --> 00:15:41,648 Good boy. You're a boy car. 317 00:15:41,649 --> 00:15:43,609 - Yeah, that's weird. Stop that. - Stop what? 318 00:15:43,610 --> 00:15:44,985 The way you're touching, feeding, 319 00:15:44,986 --> 00:15:48,280 - and talking to your car. - His name is Mark McGrath. 320 00:15:48,281 --> 00:15:49,948 What's happened to you? 321 00:15:49,949 --> 00:15:53,077 I-I don't know. All I know is I love this Hummer. 322 00:15:53,078 --> 00:15:54,620 God, the power. 323 00:15:54,621 --> 00:15:56,413 I deserved a sweet ride for a little while. 324 00:15:56,414 --> 00:15:57,998 It felt so good. 325 00:15:57,999 --> 00:16:00,501 People turned their heads when I pulled into Hooters, 326 00:16:00,502 --> 00:16:03,670 Lids, GNC. It's not fair! 327 00:16:03,671 --> 00:16:06,256 -How much creatine... -I've been doing a lot of creatine! 328 00:16:06,257 --> 00:16:08,092 All set. 329 00:16:08,093 --> 00:16:11,678 You can probably get another 130,000 miles out of this thing. 330 00:16:11,679 --> 00:16:13,972 Well, let's see-- I drive about 4,000 a year, 331 00:16:13,973 --> 00:16:16,016 so when this car goes, I'll be... 332 00:16:16,017 --> 00:16:17,435 Dead for 18 years. 333 00:16:18,561 --> 00:16:20,647 Let me just say goodbye to the Hummer. 334 00:16:22,482 --> 00:16:24,733 I'll miss you, Mark McGrath. 335 00:16:24,734 --> 00:16:26,902 I'll miss scaring the hell out of homeless people 336 00:16:26,903 --> 00:16:29,655 with your cruise-ship-grade air horn. 337 00:16:29,656 --> 00:16:31,323 I'll miss catching the eye of women 338 00:16:31,324 --> 00:16:34,077 smoking outside of government buildings. 339 00:16:41,668 --> 00:16:44,545 But mostly, I'll miss driving a military vehicle 340 00:16:44,546 --> 00:16:46,755 45 miles an hour through a school zone 341 00:16:46,756 --> 00:16:49,007 to get Crest Whitestrips. 342 00:16:49,008 --> 00:16:52,344 The back side of this car is all wrecked. 343 00:16:52,345 --> 00:16:53,846 Who fixed this thing, your wife? 344 00:16:53,847 --> 00:16:56,598 - No, she can't fix a car. - That's my point. 345 00:16:56,599 --> 00:17:00,018 She passed away last month. She was addicted to Pancresta, 346 00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,604 so she didn't so much pass away as elevate 347 00:17:02,605 --> 00:17:04,898 to a higher level of consciousness. 348 00:17:04,899 --> 00:17:08,610 Just turned into a smiling beam of light right before my eyes. 349 00:17:08,611 --> 00:17:11,113 She told me to be at peace, and I was. 350 00:17:11,114 --> 00:17:13,782 I'm hearing a lot of good stuff about this Pancresta. 351 00:17:13,783 --> 00:17:15,576 Sorry, Mr. Griffin. I don't know what happened. 352 00:17:15,577 --> 00:17:16,869 Looks like you got the Hummer 353 00:17:16,870 --> 00:17:20,330 for another couple of days at least. 354 00:17:20,331 --> 00:17:22,624 Stewie, why did you do it? 355 00:17:22,625 --> 00:17:24,626 Oh, you were having so much fun, Bri. 356 00:17:24,627 --> 00:17:26,587 Besides, the Earth is on fire. 357 00:17:26,588 --> 00:17:29,173 One dog driving a Prius won't fix that. 358 00:17:29,174 --> 00:17:32,718 -Where to? -Let's do donuts on Mark Ruffalo's lawn. 359 00:17:32,719 --> 00:17:35,179 Yeah! 360 00:17:37,098 --> 00:17:39,225 Hey, come on, you guys. Knock it off. 361 00:17:40,643 --> 00:17:42,769 Hey, why don't you turn into the Hulk? 362 00:17:42,770 --> 00:17:44,521 Oh, right. You're just a Hollywood sissy. 363 00:17:44,522 --> 00:17:45,814 I'm calling the cops! 364 00:17:45,815 --> 00:17:48,358 Oh, you hear that, Brian? Hulk's calling the cops. 365 00:17:54,490 --> 00:17:57,159 Turns out old Mark really was the Hulk. 366 00:17:58,703 --> 00:18:02,414 And Brian and Stewie got tossed clear up to New Hampshire. 367 00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,707 I'm Sam Elliott. 368 00:18:03,708 --> 00:18:06,794 This concludes your B story. 369 00:18:12,425 --> 00:18:14,301 Look at 'em all out there, Meg. 370 00:18:14,302 --> 00:18:16,303 They're all here because of you. 371 00:18:16,304 --> 00:18:18,096 Hi, Meg. 372 00:18:18,097 --> 00:18:19,973 It's your friends, Patty, Ruth and Esther. 373 00:18:19,974 --> 00:18:22,100 If anyone remembered what we look like, 374 00:18:22,101 --> 00:18:23,977 it would be shocking how fat we are. 375 00:18:23,978 --> 00:18:26,396 You've inspired us to gain all this weight, 376 00:18:26,397 --> 00:18:28,440 and we just wanted to say thanks. 377 00:18:35,573 --> 00:18:38,743 ♪ ♪ 378 00:18:40,203 --> 00:18:41,578 Dad, I can't do this. 379 00:18:41,579 --> 00:18:43,747 All my friends are fat because of me. 380 00:18:43,748 --> 00:18:45,707 I don't want them to lose their feet, too. 381 00:18:45,708 --> 00:18:47,459 Everybody needs their feet. 382 00:18:47,460 --> 00:18:51,213 Feet. Those little weirdos on the end of your legs. 383 00:18:51,214 --> 00:18:55,176 I used mine to mosey on over to the A story. 384 00:18:56,636 --> 00:18:58,178 I'm going out there to warn everybody 385 00:18:58,179 --> 00:19:00,138 about the dangers of unhealthy eating. 386 00:19:00,139 --> 00:19:02,599 Meg, I am so high on Pancresta right now, 387 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,226 I don't care what you say. 388 00:19:04,227 --> 00:19:05,477 Three dimensions? 389 00:19:05,478 --> 00:19:08,355 No, six dimensions. 390 00:19:11,359 --> 00:19:13,360 Be at peace, Meg. 391 00:19:13,361 --> 00:19:14,946 Be at peace. 392 00:19:16,614 --> 00:19:18,825 Phone. Forgot my phone. 393 00:19:23,955 --> 00:19:26,540 - We love you, Meg! - Eat something gross! 394 00:19:26,541 --> 00:19:28,083 I was gonna take you to prom 395 00:19:28,084 --> 00:19:31,420 as part of a cruel bet, but I'm fat now, too! 396 00:19:31,421 --> 00:19:34,006 Hey, everybody. 397 00:19:34,007 --> 00:19:36,633 I want to talk to you guys about something important. 398 00:19:36,634 --> 00:19:38,385 Being healthy. 399 00:19:38,386 --> 00:19:40,429 I'm still Refrigerator Meg! 400 00:19:40,430 --> 00:19:44,182 But from here on, my fridge will be full of fruits, 401 00:19:44,183 --> 00:19:47,979 vegetables and lean meats! Yo, yo, yo! 402 00:19:51,232 --> 00:19:52,733 Bring back the fridge! 403 00:19:52,734 --> 00:19:54,609 Bring back the fridge! 404 00:19:54,610 --> 00:19:57,946 Bring back the fridge! Bring back the fridge! 405 00:19:57,947 --> 00:19:59,073 Aah! 406 00:20:00,783 --> 00:20:02,618 What's going on, guys? 407 00:20:02,619 --> 00:20:04,202 I'm Corey from Corey's World. 408 00:20:04,203 --> 00:20:05,912 Did you hear that all the Jewish kids 409 00:20:05,913 --> 00:20:08,082 stayed home from school that day? 410 00:20:11,085 --> 00:20:13,754 Is everyone okay, Principal Shepherd? 411 00:20:13,755 --> 00:20:15,964 Mostly. We only had one fatality. 412 00:20:15,965 --> 00:20:18,383 An old janitor was crushed under the bleachers. 413 00:20:18,384 --> 00:20:20,969 Huh. Has anyone claimed his feet? 414 00:20:20,970 --> 00:20:24,015 Yeah, and has anyone claimed his mop? 415 00:20:28,102 --> 00:20:32,439 Good news! The feet transplant was a success. 416 00:20:32,440 --> 00:20:34,316 So... 417 00:20:34,317 --> 00:20:37,070 good news all around. 418 00:20:39,280 --> 00:20:42,366 Well, I'm glad everything's back to normal. 419 00:20:42,367 --> 00:20:43,575 No, it isn't! 420 00:20:43,576 --> 00:20:45,285 Meg got the dead janitor's feet, 421 00:20:45,286 --> 00:20:48,288 Brian and Stewie got thrown into New Hampshire by the Hulk, 422 00:20:48,289 --> 00:20:49,748 and you're a beam of light. 423 00:20:49,749 --> 00:20:51,833 I have the shining now. 424 00:20:51,834 --> 00:20:53,710 And Chris has the shining now. 425 00:20:53,711 --> 00:20:55,712 Lois, just do a line of Panc. 426 00:20:55,713 --> 00:20:58,632 Ah! Road House! 427 00:20:58,633 --> 00:20:59,716 Road House. 428 00:20:59,717 --> 00:21:01,802 Road House... 429 00:21:01,803 --> 00:21:04,180 is a movie I was in. 430 00:21:34,001 --> 00:21:36,212 Captioned by Media Access Group at WGBH 33490

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