Original subtitles

(bright rhythmic music)

(vocal ensemble chanting in foreign language)

(vocal ensemble singing in foreign language)

(bright upbeat music)

(vocal ensemble singing in foreign language)

(light cheerful music)

(ship bell clanging) (waves lapping)

- Is that the island of Haleakaloha?

- [Captain] Yep.

- We ain't stopping, huh?

- [Captain] Nope.

- You remember when I signed on this bucket

you promised we'd be at Haleakaloha by the 7th.

- [Captain] Well, this is the 7th.

- (laughing) Oh!

Well, what do you know?

Me, Boats Gilhooley, six hitches in Uncle Sam's Navy,

and here I get shanghaied, huh?

(both laughing)

Can you imagine what they'll say at Pearl?

(captain laughs)

Yeah, when this news gets to Diego, huh,

that'll be a little bit funny, I'll bet.

(both laughing)

Yeah.

Well, good thing I got a sense of humor, huh?

(captain laughing) (mop slams)

(captain grunts) (captain thudding)

(mop clatters)

Permission to leave the ship.

(water splashing) - Man overboard!

(light breezy music)

- [Michael] Hey, I'll bring you before the mast!

I'll throw you in the brig, you little mutineer! (laughs)

(water splashing)

- Daddy!

Hi, Dad!

Dad!

Oh!

- [Luki] Hi, Pop!

- [Sally] Hi, Dad!

I caught a fish!

- [Luki] Me, too!

- Sit down in the boat!

- [Luki] Ho-ho!

- Sister Angelique. Sister Mary Margaret.

- Doc. - Hi, sailor.

- Sister Angelique,

would you accept some nice fish from a sinner?

(Sister Angelique speaking in foreign language)

- Was that good or bad, sister?

- Very good, Michael.

- Thank you.

Hey, get back in that boat, you little pirate!

You about ready to take off, Doc?

- [William] I have a few calls to make first.

- Oh. How long you figure to be gone?

- Oh, a week, maybe two.

Never can tell what's gonna happen on the outer islands.

- Right. - Look in on the kids

occasionally, will you?

- Don't worry!

Don't I always?

All right, Sam, shove off!

(light breezy music)

- To the Minister of Foreign Affairs,

from the Governor of Haleakaloha, French Polynesia.

Subject:

(puffs) transfer.

My dear cousin, once again, I appeal to you

to be rescued from this wretched island.

If you could but see me

living under the most primitive conditions.

The food is deplorable.

(light breezy music)

The heat unbearable.

And the plumbing, uh...

(chuckles) The plumbing defies description.

How can one bathe when there's no hot water?

Uh, let's see, where was I?

- "Hot water," sir.

- In conclusion, my dear cousin,

I respectfully request transfer to, uh...

Uh...

- Miami Beach?

- Splendid. Miami Beach.

Or, uh-

Or possibly, uh...

Uh, Hollywood, California.

- Whoo-hoo!

- Signed, Marquis Andre Delage, Baron de Fienna,

Officer de Legion d'Honneur,

Chevalier de Marche, so forth and so on.

(light breezy music)

(birds chirping)

- [Michael] Here we go. (grunts)

(footsteps pattering)

- Uncle Andy! - Mahalo, Sam.

- [Sam] Mahalo.

- [Sally] Hi, Uncle Andy!

- [Luki] Hi, Uncle Andy!

(Andre laughs) - Hello, Andre.

- How's the coffee holding out?

- Right over there, help yourself.

How was the fishing?

- I caught one-

- Luki.

- That big.

(Andre laughs)

- And to you, my dear Guns, a very, very happy birthday.

- Birthday?

- Oh, Uncle Andy, you spoiled our surprise.

And I baked a birthday cake.

- With 100 candles.

- With 150.

- Oh, thanks, thanks. (Andre chuckles)

(both laughing)

Birthday. - Yeah.

- It's a real surprise!

(group laughing)

I'll tell you what we'll do.

We'll have a nice quiet party tonight,

and a big batch of lemon... (children cheering)

Ade.

(conch blows)

Gilhooley?

- Gilhooley.

(conch blows)

(conch blows)

(conch blows)

(conch blowing)

- Oh, Uncle Guns, please don't fight.

Don't spoil our party.

- You stay out of this!

- Go on, Uncle Guns, and knock his block off!

- I'll knock both his blocks off.

Come on, kids, you're going home.

- Goodbye, Uncle Andy.

Thanks!

(drums pounding)

(locals speaking in foreign language)

(waves lapping)

(conch blows)

(drums pounding continues)

(crowd chattering)

(conch blows)

(drums pounding continues)

(crowd chattering)

(all singing in foreign language)

(bright breezy music)

- [All] Gilhooley!

Gilhooley!

(bright upbeat music) (crowd chattering)

- Come on, girls!

Come on!

Oh, you lovely, lovely ladies!

Hey!

Oh!

(crowd chuckling)

Ah, the police.

Well, if it ain't my old pal, Beau Geste. (scoffs)

- Your passport, Gilhooley.

- Naturally. And two bucks landing fee, huh?

(waves lapping) (crowd chattering)

(whistle shrilling)

Ah, hi, Padre.

How's the roof on the chapel holding up?

- Gilhooley.

His first word and I am disarmed.

Here I have come to demand your deportation

and you ask about the roof!

- Well, why not?

I paid for it, didn't I?

(hand slaps)

- He gave the dough away, as usual,

and the chapel still leaks, as usual.

- Even more, as usual.

But what could I do?

The hurricane had, uh, swept Rorangi.

There was great need.

But what is a roof against, uh, starvation?

(pipe tapping)

Stop!

Stop it!

Allez! To the chapel with me.

- Ah, now, wait, Padre.

You wouldn't want me to catch a cold

in a leaky chapel, would you?

(light breezy music)

(jeep engine revving)

(waves lapping)

- [Lelani] Uncle Guns, you promised.

- Oh, now, everything's gonna be all right, Lelani, I swear.

Word of honor.

Now, you go on in there and take the kids.

And practice the piano.

Get a good thick frosting on that cake!

(jeep engine revving)

- [Lelani] Luki! Sally!

(crowd yelling)

- Donovan!

Guns!

Where is he?

- Gone fishing.

- Hey, you got a new mirror. (laughs)

- Yeah, I figured it up once.

Counting all the broken mirrors,

you and Donovan got 63 years of bad luck coming.

(bottle lid clatters)

- Hey, that's mine.

(record player handle rattles)

(record scratches)

♪ The monkeys have no tails in Zamboanga ♪

- That's busted. ♪ In Zamboanga ♪

♪ In Zamboanga ♪

(Boats laughing)

- Yeah! (coins rattling)

(coin clinking)

(one-armed bandit clanking) (bell dinging)

Ah, it's still busted!

(coin clinking)

(one-armed bandit clanking) (bell dinging)

Come on!

Where's Donovan keep his clothes?

- Same place!

(crowd cheering)

- Why not?

The lug owes me one. It's my birthday.

(record hissing)

- Pick out a nice black one.

(record player clicks off)

One you can be buried in!

(jeep engines roaring)

(crowd faintly chattering)

(bottle thuds)

(bottle scraping)

(cork popping)

(Monk spits)

(bottle lid clatters)

- Tommy!

Oh!

- Lafleur! Oh, baby!

(both smooching)

- [Miss Lafleur] Oh, darling.

(jeep horn honking)

(crowd yelling)

- Gangway! Gangway!

Come on!

Yeah, I know. Gilhooley.

(men chattering in foreign language)

- Oh, you've come back to marry me.

- Oh, now, look, Lafleur, you're the love of my life.

You're the only dame that meant anything to me, but-

- I know.

- I already told you I'd make a...

I got a wife in Hoboken.

- And San Pedro, and San Diego, and Norfolk, Virginia.

- So, what?

You wouldn't want me to go up on a bigamy charge, would you?

- Pardon me, Lafleur.

Gilhooley, no trouble.

(crowd yelling)

- Happy birthday.

(Boats laughs)

- Happy birthday.

My suit!

- You wouldn't want me to look like a bum, would you?

I'm your guest.

- (laughs) 22 years, huh, Boats?

(chuckles) Great.

- Pals, huh?

- No fights.

- Guns, no fights?

22 years.

Tradition.

Legion.

- Legend. - And the crowd.

(crowd yelling)

- Hey, Monk, you...

Why don't you throw that guy in the brig?

In the hoosegow?

- I'm off duty, Guns.

- You're always off duty!

(blow slams) Oh!

(crowd cheers) (Michael clattering)

Not the brandy, you dope!

- Sorry.

(bottle smashing)

- Watch his left, tiger!

Watch his left!

- Uh! Uh!

Uh!

(blow thuds)

(chair smashing)

- Oh, no! (sighs)

Jeez!

(bottle thuds) (beers splashing)

(table cloth thuds)

(Boats scraping)

- [Miss Lafleur] Tommy!

- Oh, shut up!

(crowd yelling) (jeep engine whirring)

(Father Cluzeot shouting in foreign language)

- They went that way.

(bottle clatters)

- Doctor! (water splashing)

- [William] All right, come on, knock it off!

Oh, knock it off, you two!

As you were!

(both grunting)

Look at you, you're worse than a couple of kids.

- But, Doc - Line up!

As you were!

You're at attention, Gilhooley.

Now, what started this rhubarb?

The fact that you both happen to be born on the same day?

- Permission to speak.

- [William] Shoot.

- What started it was this knothead

tried to push a hootchy-kootchy dancer off on me in Panama.

(Boats laughs)

- Gilhooley?

Well, what's wrong with that?

- Nothing, except a marriage license

and a wedding ring through my nose went with it.

- Maybelle.

- [William] What?

- Pearl Harbor, sir. A dame named Maybelle.

M-A-Y-B-E-L-L-E. Two L's.

- I never knew anybody named Maybelle in my whole life.

- That's right, her name wasn't Maybelle.

- All right, that's enough from the both of you.

The simple and obvious fact is that neither of you

remembers what started this ridiculous

annual birthday brawl!

- It will come to me, sir.

- [William] I'm sure it will.

All right, come on, get out of there!

Both of you!

- Cindy Lou?

- Betty.

(water splashing)

- Jeez!

(water splashing)

- Oh, sugar pie!

- Come on, now, here we are, the three of us,

on one of the most beautiful islands on Earth.

It's a fine day, the birthday of two men

I've always been proud to call my friends.

We've been through one war together, bad and bloody days.

Now, let's put an end to this fight.

Lafleur, break out the beer.

(footsteps squelching)

All right, now shake hands.

- You know, the doc's a great guy!

(beer pattering)

Happy birthday to you.

- Happy birthday! (blow thuds)

(crowd cheers)

(Boats crashing) - Oh, Thomas!

- Happy birthday to yous both.

(cheerful upbeat music)

- Continue.

- Well, as usual, when there's dirt to be done, you hire me.

Some simple, honest matter, you hire Pennyfeather,

Pennyfeather, and Pennyfeather.

Now, the fact of the matter is,

that with the death of your great aunt, Priscilla,

this fellow out in the South Seas,

this, uh, Dr. William Dedham, your father, Miss Dedham.

- I have never met my father.

His name is not mentioned in the family.

- Well, now, be that as it may, unless you can find some way

to keep him from inheriting this additional stock,

you'll find yourself mentioning his name, and quite often,

'cause he'll be the big he-bull

in that shipping company of yours.

I hope you ladies don't find my language too colorful.

Now, there's a clause in the will,

it's in a good many of these Boston wills,

although civilized people

don't put such drivel in wills anymore,

but it says if anyone can prove that the heir

is not of good moral character,

according to Boston standards,

he may be deprived of his inheritance.

Well, now, if this Dr. William Dedham

has been living on some South Sea island

with those Native girls...

Well, what I mean is, the man has probably behaved

in a way that wouldn't suit Boston.

Now if you can prove that,

you can cheat him out of his stock and his money.

Anyone object to me using the word "cheat?"

(woman blowing)

- We are waiting.

- That is all. You'll have my bill in the morning.

(paper rustling)

Bon voyage, Miss Dedham.

- Comments?

Great Uncle Sedley?

- No comment.

With reservations.

- Be pleased to take over.

(briefcase clunking)

(door clunking)

Gentlemen, you may go in now.

(footsteps tapping)

(cheerful upbeat music)

(light switch clicks)

- "Miss Amelia Dedham, daughter of Dr. Dedham,

is arriving..."

"ETA?"

- Estimated time of arrival.

- Thank you.

"ETA 1400.

Signed, Captain Martin, Ship Araner."

Well, there it is, gentlemen.

Of course, this is for you,

the citizens of the United States, to decide.

It is not my pigeon.

The question on my mind is,

does this Miss Dedham know about her father?

- You mean the kids? - Mm.

- Well, let her find out.

- Ah, so you share my opinion that she doesn't.

- Well, I can't see Doc Dedham hiding them in the jungle

like they were something to be ashamed of!

- Well, I don't know.

Now, if I was in the doc's shoes-

- Oh, Gilhooley!

- Look, the dame's from Boston, remember.

- Yes, and without warning,

meeting a father she's never even seen,

and being confronted by three children.

His children by some Native woman.

- A Native woman?

We know who she was!

- Oh, my dear Michael, of course.

Manulani.

We all loved her.

- Native woman.

- But how can this girl help

reaching all the wrong conclusions?

- Hey!

I got an idea.

You know how I am when it comes to broads, huh?

- Yeah. - All right.

So I meet her on the beach and I invite her up here.

- And then what?

- Then I slip her a Mickey.

- Oh, come on! (bottle smashing)

(group yelling)

- Wait!

- Gentlemen, I shall explain on the way.

- On the way where?

- To the house of Dr. Dedham, naturally.

- Well, you know these wily Chinese.

- Well, you were a big- - Now, shipmate!

(bottle smashing)

♪ Polonaise ♪

♪ Ta, da, da, da, da, da, da ♪

(upbeat piano music)

- [Lelani] Hi, Uncle Guns.

- Hi, Uncle Guns. - Hi.

- Hi. - Padre.

- [Father Cluzeot] Michel.

- Sounds great, Lelani.

- Thank you.

- Like to talk to you.

- Sure.

- Two and two is four, four and four is eight.

Keep it up. Keep it up. (doors clunking)

So you and the kids must move in with me

and pretend you're mine.

- But, Uncle Guns, I don't understand.

First, you tell me I have a sister coming from America,

and then you say we are to leave our home.

- Only until your father returns.

- But, Uncle Guns, wouldn't it be proper for me

and my brother and sister to welcome her here

in the absence of my father?

- Well, the child is right!

What you proposed is monstrous!

- I hate this as much as you do, Padre!

But I'd cut my right arm

off for the doc. - For a few days, Mon Pere.

- Let's put it this way, Padre.

Remember when we was clobbering nips here

in that delaying action?

It's the same principle,

only this time we're fighting for the doc.

We're trying to buy him a little time so-

- Oh. - He can tell her

in his own way.

- I understand.

It's because I'm not white!

- Lelani!

(light acoustic guitar music)

Lelani!

(door clunking)

(Lelani sobbing)

(door clunking) (Lelani sobbing)

It's gonna be all right.

Don't worry. Just...

Just trust me, hear?

It's gonna be all right.

(light breezy music) (waves lapping)

(vocal ensemble singing in foreign language)

(conch blaring)

(drums pounding)

(crowd chattering)

- Let go of your starboard anchor!

Come on, look lively, blast your eyes!

Step to it!

(boat creaking)

(vocal ensemble singing in foreign language)

- [Captain] Ahoy, Mike!

- Backwater.

Go now.

- I don't see your father here, Miss Dedham.

- My father's not expecting me.

He doesn't know I'm coming.

- I'm sorry.

I took the liberty of sending him a radio.

- [Amelia] Thank you very much, Captain.

- (clears throat) Excuse me, miss.

- Skipper!

Hi!

Have you a Miss Amelia Dedham from Boston aboard?

Aloha!

Name is Donovan.

Welcome to Haleakaloha.

Your father is on the low islands.

We'll see you ashore.

- Thank you, Mr. McDonough.

- The name is Donovan!

- You'll have to take it careful, Miss Dedham.

- Captain, I am quite capable of leaving a ship.

- All right, ease your duff onto that rail now.

Uh, sit on the rail and swing your legs outboard.

Limbs.

- Now, take it easy, miss.

Take it easy.

- All right, Sam.

Watch these swells.

Watch it, Sam.

A little more starboard.

Easy now.

All right, Sam.

All right, give me your hand.

Hard a-port.

Hey! I meant stern!

(water splashing) (all chattering)

- Of all the stupid...

I don't need your help!

- All right, this is no place to argue.

Get in! - Ah!

(water splashing)

Of all the stupid, imbecilic oafs!

- I read you loud and clear!

- Thank you, Mr. Whatever Your Name Is!

Will you please take me ashore?

Oh, my bag!

- [Michael] Kioki!

(water splashing)

(crowd chattering)

- Thank you.

Will you please take me ashore?

- All right, Sam, head for the beach.

(light breezy music)

- Um...

Uh, Mr. Eu, I do not believe this is the proper time

to meet the very wealthy and marriageable Miss Dedham.

(waves lapping)

(water splashing)

(Father Cluzeot speaking in foreign language)

(crowd chattering)

- Getin.

- Hey, the dame's all wet. (chuckles)

(shoes clattering) And so are you.

- Well, this gentleman is from Massachusetts, also.

One of the Gilhooleys from Fall River.

- Fascinating!

- Ain't I met you someplace before?

Pango-Pango?

Hong Kong, huh?

- I have not had the pleasure of meeting you in Pango-Pango,

Hong Kong, nor Fall River.

Will you please drive on?

- Yes, ma'am. Thank you, ma'am.

Yes, ma'am.

(jeep engine revving) (jeep engine backfires)

- Uh, how much did you say she was worth,

according to, uh, Dun & Bradstreet?

- $18 million.

- 18! (chuckles)

Always my lucky number.

(jeep engine whirring)

(jeep engine backfiring)

(jeep tires skidding)

- Wait here.

(camera shutter clicks)

- Show legs, please.

(camera shutter clicks)

Very pretty, very pretty.

- [Miss Lafleur] Mike Donovan, you've got a lot of nerve!

- Wrap up in this until you're dry.

Then here's a dress.

- [Amelia] No, thanks!

- No sale.

- Will you please take me to a hotel?

- You'll sleep at your father's place or on the beach!

(jeep engine whirring)

(jeep tires squealing)

(jeep engine revving)

(jeep tires screeching)

(jeep engine roars)

(jeep brakes screeching)

(jeep engine backfires)

(waves lapping) (birds chirping)

- My father lives here?

- Sure.

Any complaints?

(church bell ringing)

- What is that building?

- It's your father's hospital.

He built it.

If you're interested.

Miss Dedham, this is Yoshi and Koshi.

(Yoshi and Koshi speaking in foreign language)

- You better get out of those wet clothes.

Here.

Take her in and give her a hot bath.

- I am quite capable of giving instructions

to servants, Mr. Donovan.

- I am quite sure you are, Miss Dedham.

I'll go down to the beach and get your bags.

- [Amelia] Thank you very much.

- Thank you.

(door slams)

(choir singing in foreign language)

(bag and shoes clattering)

(rain lashing)

(thunder crashing)

(thunder crashing)

(thunder crashing)

(thunder crashing)

(light switch clicking)

(match striking) (thunder crashing)

(thunder crashing)

(doors banging) (wind whistling)

- [Amelia] Hey, there!

Hey!

- Whoa, son.

Looks like we're gonna have to face the music.

Uh, I'm sorry if we woke you up,

but, uh, well, I know this is gonna sound fishy,

but the kid here forgot his Stan Musial cap.

- His what?

- My cap.

The one Stan the Man sent me.

- Said he couldn't sleep without it.

- Hi.

- Oh, hi, Luki. - Hello, Luki.

- Hi, Koshi.

Hi, Yoshi.

I bet you've never seen me up this late before, did you?

- Pipe down.

- [Amelia] Is this child your son?

- Oh, uh, yeah.

He's, uh...

This is, uh, Luke.

- But everyone calls me Luki.

And I have two sisters.

And I bet you they don't even know I'm out, huh, Uncle Guns?

I mean, Papa Guns?

- What about your mother?

- Mother?

- She's dead.

- Oh, golly, I wish I was sleeping in my own bed.

- It's high time you were in bed.

It's really none of my business, Mr., uh...

- Donovan.

- Well, you should be ashamed of yourself,

taking a child out in a storm like this.

- Me taking him out in a storm like this?

I've been chasing him all over the island.

- Luki, how would you like to spend the night here?

- [Luki] Oh, boy!

In a real bed instead of a hard old cot,

he makes me sleep on.

- What do you got to complain about?

I'm sleeping in a hammock.

You fresh kid, I oughta belt you!

- Really, Mr. Donovan, must you bully everyone?

Yoshi, please take him up to the big room.

- [Luki] Goodnight, Uncle Guns!

Sleep tight!

- That I intend to do!

Good and tight!

- Mr. Donovan, why don't you go home?

Or go to that saloon of yours.

You know, if you're typical of all fathers,

I suddenly realize how grateful I am

never to have seen my own.

Goodnight.

(wind whistling) (doors slamming)

Oh!

(thunder crashing)

Oh!

Ah!

(thunder crashing)

(doors clunking)

Ah! (Amelia thuds)

(thunder crashing)

(jeep engine whirring) (waves lapping)

(birds chirping)

- Ah, Mademoiselle Dedham.

Well, and what are you doing here?

- I slept here last night,

and I can come back any time I want, right, Amelia?

- Right.

- Ah, may I have the honor to present myself.

I am the Marquis Delage, governor of this island paradise,

which finds in you its fairest flower.

- Hot dog!

- [Andre] Well, it's-

it was my intent to greet you personally

upon your arrival yesterday,

but, alas, the duties of office.

- Why that's- - But here I am, such as I am.

To place myself and my automobile,

uh, and you will observe, it's an American automobile.

1944.

Uh, complete with driver, at your service, Mr. Eu.

- Amherst, '52.

- Mr. Eu.

- If may venture a suggestion, a scenic drive?

A chilled aperitif?

I have a picnic basket.

I'd be delighted to-

- Well, that's very kind of you, Your Excellency,

but I have promised to take Luki home this morning.

- Knock it off, Uncle Andy!

Quit trying to horn in on my date!

- Luki, your manners, remember?

(Andre chuckles)

Perhaps Your Excellency would be so kind

as to drive us to Luki's father's?

- Ah, the history of my life.

To reach towards the rose, only to be pierced by its thorn.

(jeep engine revving)

(birds chirping)

18 million bucks.

(one-armed bandit clanking) (bell dinging)

- [Michael] Morning, Padre.

- [Father Cluzeot] Morning, Monsieur.

- Good morning, Padre. - Captain.

- That was a marvelous sermon this morning, Father.

(group chattering in foreign language)

(one-armed bandit clanking) (bell dinging)

(Father Cluzeot speaking in foreign language)

La jukes box, there is no music?

- I think it's busted, Father.

- Busted?

But I don't understand. (speaking in foreign language)

- Oh, I wouldn't know anything about those things, Father.

I think it's busted.

- Busted, huh?

No music, hmm?

Busted. (muttering)

- Hey, Amelia, let's have another date sometime?

- Why sure.

But right now, you've got to get to school, little man.

- Ah, piano lessons.

- Sorry, miss.

But Mr. Donovan don't allow no ladies in this joint.

- (laughs) Oh, really?

Well, that's quite all right, Sergeant.

I promise I won't start any, uh, rhubarbs.

(one-armed bandit clanking) (bell dinging)

- Now hear this.

Now hear this.

Mayday.

I repeat mayday.

- Good morning, gentlemen.

- [Michael] Good morning.

- [Amelia] My apologies, Mr. Donovan.

Really, no women?

- You're very welcome, Miss Dedham.

- [Amelia] Actually, ] came here on business.

- Well, won't you sit down?

- Thank you.

Captain, I should like to charter the Araner

for however long it takes for me to find my father

and then take me back to Honolulu.

- (clears throat) Well, as to that-

- The Araner is not for charter.

She has too much draft for the low islands.

Reefs and coralheads.

- Thank you, Mr. Donovan.

I was speaking to the sailing master.

Captain, it should only be-

- But I own the Araner.

And the Inishmoor and the Inishfree and several others.

You might say that we are rivals,

competitors in the shipping business.

Cigarette?

- [Captain] Excuse me.

- Thank you.

- Do you smoke?

- Yes, I smoke.

- Well, then perhaps, uh...

- Rain check? (match striking)

(light breezy music)

Mr. Donovan, I was quite rude last night.

Please accept my humble apologies.

- I also was rather abrupt.

Pax?

- Pax.

I was tired and frightened-

- And wet.

- Very wet.

And to come halfway around the world only to be told that-

- Well, I wouldn't worry about your father, Miss Dedham.

He'll be back shortly.

He wouldn't want to miss Christmas with his patients

and the hospital.

- On the house, huh?

(one-armed bandit clanking) (bell dinging)

(glass smashes)

Oh, uh, how was my boy Luki?

How did he behave?

- Oh, (chuckles) he was charming.

And entertaining.

Oh, and very educational.

I learned all about Mr. Musial's batting average

and, uh, runs batted in, and then he fell asleep in my arms.

- As Shakespeare said-

- Quite.

(man shouting in foreign language)

(group shouting in foreign language)

(one-armed bandit clanking) (bell dinging)

- Derange, out of order, and so forth.

Explanation?

- Slot machine.

Was shipped in here six years ago, busted.

It is still busted.

- Well, why...

- I do not attempt to explore the depths

of the Oriental mind, Miss Dedham.

Perhaps your Ivy League chaperone here

could explain to my clients again that it is busted.

- That's reasonable.

Mr. Eu?

- I will try to explain it to them

in their barbarian tongue.

Hey!

(Mr. Eu shouting in foreign language)

(group chattering in foreign language)

(waiter speaking in foreign language)

- Carriage trade.

(light classical piano music)

- [Michael] Lunch.

The kids.

My, uh, children.

- Chopin.

- Mozart, perhaps?

- Oh, Joe College.

Two years.

Football, broken ankle.

Navy.

Miss Dedham,

I'd like to have you meet the family.

- Thank you.

- Of course, you may find Father Cluzeot

somewhat of a bully.

- [Luki] Hi, Amelia!

- Hi.

- Father Cluzeot, I want you to meet Miss Dedham.

- How do you do, Father?

- Enchante.

- And this is my oldest girl, Lelani.

- Lelani.

You play beautifully.

- Thank you.

- Uh, this is my other girl.

- Well, you're a little doll.

So, what's your name?

- Sarah, but they call me Sally.

- Sarah.

My name's Amelia, Sarah, but nobody ever called me Sally.

- No?

- Father, it's, uh, Wednesday.

Water skiing.

- No!

- You promised Lelani could go water skiing today.

- [Amelia] Water skiing?

- May I come along?

- Water skiing is a very dangerous sport, Miss Dedham.

Particularly in these waters.

- Well, uh- - I don't think-

- Perhaps you could teach me.

- Oh, Papa Guns, please let her come along.

- Okay.

- No! Lesson is lesson!

I'll start the lesson! - Okay, Miss Dedham.

- One hour! (timer slams)

(group singing in foreign language)

♪ Ding, dang, dong ♪

- Hit it!

(lively boogie-woogie piano music)

- Stop it! Stop it!

You monsters! (exclaiming)

(children singing in foreign language)

(bicycle brakes squealing)

(door clunking)

(shopkeepers speaking in foreign language)

- Good morning.

I would like a, uh, bathing costume.

(shopkeepers speaking in foreign language)

- Very pretty.

- Bikini. - Number one.

- Bikini. - Very pretty.

- Bikini!

- I think that's a little little.

(Mr. Eu shouting in foreign language)

- Boston, Massachusetts!

(Mr. Eu shouting in foreign language)

(group bickering in foreign language)

- Old-fashioned one!

(shopkeeper speaking in foreign language)

(Mr. Eu speaking in foreign language)

(Mr. Eu laughs)

(organ chiming) - Pretty.

- Very.

Good morning, Miss, uh...

- Lafleur.

- What a beautiful gown.

Are you contemplating, uh, matrimony?

- What young girl of my age doesn't contemplate matrimony?

- How true.

(shopkeepers chattering in foreign language)

(Mr. Eu speaking in foreign language)

- Miss Dedham!

Very proper.

(shopkeepers chattering in foreign language)

- Very pretty!

- And pants!

- Yes.

- (laughs) Look in glass?

- [Amelia] Thank you.

(shopkeepers chattering in foreign language)

- (laughs) Thank you, but, um,

I- I don't think this is quite, uh-

- Baby, right up your alley.

- You know, I believe you're right.

(bright upbeat music)

- Holy Moses!

- Amelia Dedham.

- [Andre] Ravissante, Amelia.

Ravissante.

- Thank you, Andre.

- Well, let's go, Miss Bunker Hill.

- Breed's Hill.

- [Michael] All right, let's go.

(birds chirping)

(boat engine revving)

- By the way, uh,

have you dispatched that application for transfer yet?

- Miami Beach?

Yes, sir!

- Cancel it.

(boat engine rumbling)

(water splashing)

- Well, she made it.

(water splashing)

- Faster!

(Lelani clapping)

(water splashing)

Let's go!

(boat engine rumbling continues)

Faster! Faster!

- Faster, huh?

All right, we'll give her something

to write home to Boston about.

- Oh, no, Uncle Guns!

Oh, no!

(boat engine roaring) (water splashing)

No, Uncle Guns! No!

(boat engine roaring continues)

(water splashing)

- Gee, Miss Dedham, I'm sorry.

- (chuckles) Oh, ho, ho!

That's quite all right, Mr. Donovan.

(boat engine rattling)

- Fun?

- Funny.

(hat slaps)

- You mad?

- Mad?

- The Araner's shoving off tomorrow morning,

so I'll have to go check her out.

So you two take the boat.

I'm gonna swim in.

- I'll race you in.

- You'll race me?

- Yes.

- Let's go.

(bright whimsical music)

(Lelani giggles)

(upbeat light jazz music)

(swimsuit splats)

(suave jazz music)

- Ready?

- Let's, uh...

Let's go.

- One for the money, two for the show,

three to get ready, four to go!

- Hey! (water splashing)

Go, Amelia, go!

Go! Go, go, go!

Go, Amelia!

Go!

(waves lapping)

- Thank youl!

You're out of condition, Mr. Donovan!

- Match?

- Oh, gee.

I'm sorry, Mr. Donovan.

- That's quite all right, Miss Dedham.

(light gentle music)

- Pax?

- Pax.

(knife banging) (Michael grunting)

- [Amelia] Ah!

- [Sally] Oh, that's a pretty one!

- [Luki] Last year, we had it bigger.

- [Michael] All right. Come on, let's get it tied on aft.

- Here, let me help.

- No. Stan the Man and I can get it.

Can't we, Stan?

Ah!

Tie it off!

No more grannies now!

(wind whistling)

(Lelani chanting in foreign language)

- Why, Lelani, that was lovely.

What do the words mean?

- I was thanking the goddess of the canyon for our tree.

- Goddess?

(chuckles) Do you believe in gods and goddesses?

- Well, I believe in the one god, as we all do,

but I respect the beliefs and customs of my people.

(light breezy music)

Uncle Guns.

- And I tell you it is a granny!

- The monument.

- [Amelia] "Princess Manulani,

Commander William Dedham.

Michael Patrick Donovan.

Thomas Aloysius Gilhooley."

- Thomas Aloysius Gilhooley.

- [Amelia] Does this mean there was

actual fighting on this island?

- [Michael] Well, those gold stars

don't stand for good behavior.

- [Amelia] Well, tell me.

- There's not much to tell.

We got blown off our can and, that's a destroyer,

ended up here on the island.

There was a big Jap base down there.

So, we hid out back here in the hills, down in those caves.

Tossed a few monkey wrenches into their machinery,

threw them a few spitballs.

(wind whistling)

- It's hard to believe that war has ever been

within 1,000 miles of a place as peaceful as this.

- Yeah, well, frangipani

and flame-throwers don't seem to go together,

but that's the way it was.

- Hey!

- We'd better get back down the hill.

- But...

Hey.

Oh!

But who is the princess?

- [Michael] We'd better get underway.

It's a long drive back.

All right, kids, into the jeep!

Up we go!

How is this thing?

On here solid?

(jeep engine whirring)

♪ Jingle bells, jingle bells ♪

♪ Jingle all the way ♪

♪ Oh, what fun it is to ride ♪

♪ In a one-horse open sleigh... ♪

- You are late!

Nobody listens to me!

- Well, Father, we had to get a tree.

What would Christmas be without a Christmas tree?

It's a long ways up that valley.

- Say, I've got a wonderful idea.

How would you like to spend Christmas at my house?

- You mean that'd be better

than putting a Christmas tree up in a saloon.

- No.

Well, naturally, you'll want to spend Christmas

with your father.

- Thank you, Amelia.

I think it would be very nice to spend Christmas

at your father's house.

- Well, that settles that.

Father.

Not that way.

That's a saloon.

The gate.

(footsteps shuffling)

- Michael, who was Manulani?

- Manulani?

She was the granddaughter

of the last hereditary prince of these islands.

- What happened to her? (jeep engine revving)

- She died in childbirth.

(jeep engine roaring)

(light breezy music)

(audience applauding)

(band sings in foreign language)

♪ I'm goin' to California ♪

♪ When I come back, we'll be married ♪

♪ What do you want me to bring you ♪

♪ And this is what she said ♪

♪ A hat with a crooked crown ♪

♪ Silver buckles for my shoes ♪

♪ A boa with feathers ♪

♪ A scarlet petticoat ♪

♪ And a short, tight dress ♪

(band sings in foreign language)

- Well?

- I have the pleasure to inform Your Excellency

that your worst fears have been realized.

- I knew he was up to something.

- Indubitably.

In a canoe.

- Canoe?

A canoe?

- But I have a plan.

(band sings in foreign language)

(one-armed bandit bell ringing)

- Oh!

(band sings in foreign language)

(audience applauding)

(one-armed bandit bell rings)

- Bravo! Bravo! - What's the matter

with you guys?

Are you trying to crab my act?

- My apologies, mademoiselle.

Sit down, please.

Oh, boy.

A drink for mademoiselle.

Champagne.

- Oh, no, no, no, no.

My voice.

A slug of gin, if you please.

- Of course, you know your work permit

has expired 13 months ago. - Yes,

and your tourist permit...

Well, it's a shame.

- But we have a plan of Mr. Donovan's house.

Here is his bedroom.

- You're telling me.

(insects chirping)

- Come on, Sally!

Oh!

(doors scraping) (door clunking)

(light switch clicks)

(children snoring)

(doors scraping) (door clunking)

(light breezy music)

- Oh, those children.

- Yeah, those kids.

It's the same thing every night.

- You know, Michael Donovan, you're quite a fella.

- Well, you know, Amelia Dedham, you're quite a gal.

Cigarette?

What's the matter?

- I had the strangest feeling

that you were going to kiss me.

- What?

- Well, I have been kissed before!

(light switch clicks)

(gasps) I...

I thought I'd been kissed before.

- I wonder if those kids are really asleep.

- [Amelia] I...

I'll sit this one out.

- I'll walk you home.

- No. I'll, uh...

I'll walk this off.

Goodnight, Michael.

♪ Oh, the monkeys have no tails in Zamboanga ♪

♪ Oh, the monkeys have no tails ♪

- [Miss Lafleur] Have you a light, Michael?

It's a gag, Mike!

That Chinaman! That Mr. Eu!

It's all a gag! (screams)

(water splashing)

Oh! (grunts)

- You idiot.

A hammock.

(waves crashing)

- [Boats] SOS. Go!

(lever clunks)

(Morse code machine rattling)

- Let's have it.

"Doc, mayday.

Your Boston dotter here."

Dotter. D-O-T-T-E-R.

- [Boats] That's right. Two Ts.

- "Insert name of..."

Her name's Amelia, you dope!

- [Boats] How would I know?

I ain't shacking up with her.

- "Boston daughter, Amelia, here.

Your Kids living at my house.

Supposed to be mine.

Mayday, Doc.

Watch your step.

Guns."

(waves crashing)

- [Boats] He's reading.

- His kids?

(waves crashing)

(Morse code machine rattling)

(lever clunks)

(gentle breezy music)

(crowd chattering)

(vocal ensemble singing in foreign language)

- Dr. Dedham, I presume.

- Amelia.

(gentle emotive music)

- Father.

(light chiming music) (gift wrapping paper rustles)

- Oh, Doctor-San.

(door clunking)

- Yoshi. Koshi.

(Yoshi and Koshi speaking in foreign language)

- Very good. - Uh, bath ready, Doctor.

- How did it go?

- Fine.

I'm no brain surgeon, but she's gonna be all right.

- I'm glad.

Do you like it?

- Very much.

- I invited some children over for Christmas,

three of the sweetest kids in the world,

little half-castes.

Mr. Donovan's, you know them.

- Yes, I- I know them.

- Look!

Generator's working. (light switch clicking)

Do you mind?

- [William] No.

No, not at all.

I'll go shave and get cleaned up, huh?

- I'll have tea ready.

- [William] Good.

- Thank you, Yoshi.

(tea trickles)

- Thank you.

(tea trickles)

No cream, thank you.

- It isn't cream.

- Rum!

- Shh.

Aunt Sarah and Grand Uncle Sedley might hear.

- That's right.

I'd forgotten.

- "The Dedhams, Amelia, have never traded in rum.

We refer to it as West Indies goods."

- To Aunt Sarah, Grand Uncle Sedley, and West Indies goods.

Skoal!

- Slainte!

- Since when have you been acquiring Irish? (sups)

- Oh.

Guns Donovan.

- How do you know it isn't Mr. Gilhooley?

- Gilhooley?

- [Amelia] Mm.

- (chuckles) No.

I'd just like you to know

that I've signed all my shares over to you.

- No. I'd rather you kept them.

- Why?

- Perhaps admiration

for my father.

- Thanks.

Amelia, I couldn't care less

about the Dedham Shipping Company.

The very mention of it gives me cold chills.

I guess that's true of Boston, too.

I remember how happy I was

when I heard I was the father of a fine baby girl.

That was early in the war.

The months went on, the years,

the letters got fewer and fewer, then none at all.

- Well, you know that mother was-

- I didn't know that.

And no one bothered to write.

Then we were torpedoed.

A lot of the men were killed.

A few of us managed to get to a raft.

10 days later, we made it here.

The sensible thing would have been to give ourselves up,

but the people hid us, fed us, nursed us,

and, well, some even died for us.

We owed them something for that.

They didn't have a doctor on the island,

and, well, God knows they certainly needed one.

I didn't know about your mother

until five months after it happened.

When I was discharged at Pearl Harbor, I...

Well, I just couldn't bring myself to go back to Boston.

I wasn't needed there, but I was desperately needed here!

I know I failed in my responsibility to you,

but there were children here, too.

Children that I had brought into the world,

who might die if I wasn't around.

- I understand all that well enough, but-

- Why couldn't I have gone back?

Even for a visit?

- (sighs) There must have been other doctors

who could have taken your place.

- That's very true,

but you see, by that time, I-

(footsteps shuffling)

(bright gentle music)

(Yoshi and Koshi speaking in foreign language)

(vocal ensemble singing in foreign language)

- Isn't that sweet?

They're bringing you flowers.

That's welcome.

Of course, you know that.

Why did they do that?

Why don't they come right on up?

I'll go get them.

- Amelia.

- [Amelia] Yes?

- "Well, the time has come," the Walrus said,

"to speak of many things."

- Of sailing ships and sealing wax?

- Cabbages and kings.

- I'd been here about- (bell ringing)

Well, horse-and-buggy time.

Good old Doc Dedham.

Excuse me, dear.

(bell ringing continues)

(birds chirping)

(sister speaking in foreign language)

(William speaking in foreign language)

- It's an emergency.

- [Amelia] I understood.

May I help?

- All right.

Come on.

Help me scrub up.

♪ Peace on the Earth, goodwill to men ♪

♪ From heaven's all-gracious king ♪

♪ The world in solemn ♪

♪ Stillness lay ♪

♪ To hear the angels sing. ♪

(Father Cluzeot speaking in foreign language)

- Merry Christmas.

(Father Cluzeot speaking in foreign language)

(congregation speaking in foreign language)

- My children,

once again we've come to that holy time of the year,

time for giving, for loving,

and for remembering.

Tonight, we have much to be grateful for, all of us,

and I perhaps most of all.

Because, as you see, our chapel has,

at long last, an organ.

Magnificent organ,

a gift of Miss Amelia Dedham.

Mademoiselle, I...

(sobs) I weep for joy.

Forgive me.

(Father Cluzeot speaking in foreign language)

(Andre clears throat)

- (clears throat) "A gift of $150

for the repair of the chapel roof

donated by Messrs Donovan and Gilhooley-"

- No! No! (speaking in foreign language)

- "Has been crossed out.

The poor are still with us."

Uh, before we proceed with the pageant

that Mother Gabrielle has prepared for us,

I should also like to say that the Royal Australian Navy

has again sent a corvette to do honor

to the hereditary princess of our island paradise.

I would like to thank our brave and noble allies

in the name of the Republic of France.

- We thank the governor.

- Continue.

Continue

Lelani.

Mademoiselle Lafleur.

- Uh...

"And thus it came to pass

that the child was born in the city of David

called Bethlehem.

And behold, a star appeared in the heavens."

(congregation singing in foreign language)

- Hi, Amelia!

(congregation singing in foreign language)

- Horse and buggy?

- Will you see that Amelia gets home?

- Affirm...

Affirmative.

(congregation singing in foreign language)

- "And then from the east, came three wise men.

Three kings bearing gifts,

to gaze upon the child

and to kneel before him in adoration.

The king of-"

(congregation singing in foreign language)

"Polynesia."

(congregation singing in foreign language)

- "The Emperor of China."

(congregation singing in foreign language)

"The King of...

"The King of the United States of America."

(congregation singing in foreign language)

(congregation blowing)

(gentle organ music)

♪ Silent night ♪

♪ Holy night ♪

♪ Allis calm ♪

(thunder crashing)

(rain pattering) (congregation chattering)

♪ All is bright

♪ Round yon virgin ♪

- Steady on, lads.

Steady.

Sing out.

♪ Mother and child ♪

(thunder crashing) (water sloshing)

♪ Holy infant ♪

♪ So tender and mild ♪

(wind whistling)

(thunder crashing)

(water sloshing)

(thunder crashing)

(bell tolling)

(birds chirping)

(Yoshi and Koshi speaking in foreign language)

(gentle breezy music)

(Father Cluzeot speaking in foreign language)

(birds chirping continues)

- Oh! Oh! (laughs)

Bonjour!

Bon Noel, Mademoiselle Amelia.

- Father Cluzeot.

- Huh?

- I want the truth.

- [Father Cluzeot] (laughs) The truth!

Who doesn't seek the truth?

All of us!

All men everywhere!

- Father. - All through the ages.

- [Amelia] You know very well what truth I mean.

- [Father Cluzeot] I?

(Father Cluzeot speaking in foreign language)

- The Navy Cross.

Three Purple Hearts.

- No, no, no, no. No. (chuckles)

No, not there.

Here, where it is inquired, "Situation de famille."

Observe what he writes.

- "Celibataire."

- Celibataire.

A bachelor.

Donovan is an unmarried man.

Well, there is our Mike Donovan.

Three children and not one marriage.

Oh, I do not say he is the first man

to put the cart before the horse,

but, uh, three carts and no horse?

Huh?

- (sighs) Unforgivable.

- When I think how he has deceived you,

preying upon your sympathies,

pretending to be the finest of fathers,

I- I could tear my beard out by the roots.

- And it's such a beautiful beard.

- Yes, isn't it? (chuckles)

Oh, you'd be amazed if I told you how many women...

Uh, well, that is not important. (chuckles)

Tell me, Chere Amelie,

hasn't this revelation changed your, uh...

Your, uh, affections towards Donovan?

- Indeed it has.

And for reasons you would never suspect.

(sailors shouting)

- Hey, hey, hey!

The place is out of bounds!

(sailors yelling)

Quiet, now!

You're all going to the garden parties.

- What about the beer?

- Ah, there's lashing of drinks there.

There's orangeade and lemonade.

- And papaya-ade.

- Iced tea.

- [Sailor] Iced tea?

(sailors yelling)

- Now shove off like the nice little gentlemen you are.

Go on!

(sailors yelling)

(sailors whistling) - Hey! Hey!

(sailors yelling) (sailors whistling)

- Oh, no, no, no!

- Hey, let's have some service here!

How about some beer, huh?

Come on! - Put a move on!

- Hey, hey, hey, barman!

How about a couple of bottles of beer?

- [Sailor] That's right, come on, let's have some beer.

(chair clattering)

(paper rustling)

(bright piano music) (bottle cap clinking)

♪ Waltzing Matilda ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

♪ And he sang as he watched ♪

♪ And he waited till his billy boiled ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

♪ Waltzing Matilda ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

- All right, the joint's closed!

Why don't you Limeys shove off?

- Limeys?

- I distinctly heard him say that, "Limeys."

- Limeys, he said.

I beg your pardon, sir.

Did I understand you to say "Limeys?"

- I heard him. - Me, too.

- Gilhooley, where the hell is my suit?

- Stay out of this, little man.

You might get hurt.

- You guys, uh, looking for trouble?

- Tipperary born and bred.

Limeys?

- Monk, you're not gonna let three guys gang up on one guy,

even if it is Gilhooley.

- I seen it done.

- Three against two.

- Me?

(Boats laughs)

It's the holidays.

Christmas.

Have a drink. - I will, then.

- On the house.

Look, we're noble allies.

Coral seas, we were with you.

- He's got a point. - Yeah.

A definite point.

- Ah, my apologies to you, sir, and a merry Christmas.

- Yes, and a happy new year to us all!

- Festus!

My little brother.

(hand slapping)

Festus, we're having a sporting event.

Turn your hat around.

You are now a Yank.

Three against three.

(blow slams)

(piano clanging)

- [Boats] Hey, Guns!

(blow slams) (Boats laughing)

(piano clanging)

- [Sailor] Hey, Festus!

Festus!

- Oh, shut up!

(Boats laughing)

(group scuffling)

(bottle smashing)

- [Sailor] (laughs) There! (muttering)

(sailor slams) (bell dinging)

- Gilhooley!

(blow slams) (table smashing)

Festus, you're a yank!

- Festus!

(chair clatters)

Festus!

(group grunting)

(piano clangs)

Ooh! Hey!

Oh, so- - Let's have a beer.

- [Sailor] Oh, what a grand fight!

I'm sorry about your piano.

- Don't worry about the piano.

It's the holidays.

What's a piano amongst friends?

- Ah, that's a good one, eh? (laughs)

- Peace on Earth and goodwill to men.

- [All] Peace on Earth, goodwill to men.

- (laughing) Hey!

Free beer!

(bicycles clattering)

Free beer!

(sailors chattering)

- I told you Limeys to get out of here.

- What? (blow slams)

(sailors yelling)

(blows slamming)

(tables and chairs smashing)

(chair slams)

(bell dinging)

(cleaner shouting in foreign language)

- Why ain't you at the garden party, you heathen?

(cleaner shouting in foreign language)

(blows slamming) (sailors grunting)

(cleaner shouting in foreign language)

- Aw, knock it off, fellas!

It's a holiday! (blow slams)

Peace on Earth.

That'll get you a fat lip!

Free beer!

(blow slams) (bell dinging)

(piano clangs)

(sailors scuffling)

(blows slamming)

(one-armed bandit clanking) (bell dinging)

(blow slams)

- Hey! Hey, quit it!

What are you doing?

(window smashing)

(blows slamming)

(man speaking in foreign language)

(bottle smashing)

(sailor clatters)

(whistle shrilling)

- Who started it?

- 1 did, sir.

Respectfully.

- [Officer] See you on the mat in the morning.

- Aye, sir. - Mr. McCuddy.

- [Officer] Carry on.

- Left turn!

(feet thudding)

Quick march!

♪ Waltzing Matilda ♪

♪ You'll come a-waltzing, Matilda, with me ♪

- [Father Cluzeot] Gilhooley!

- Pardon me, Padre.

Is this, uh, yours?

(Father Cluzeot speaking in foreign language)

- La jukes box!

Music.

(Father Cluzeot speaking in foreign language)

Voila. Music.

(bell dinging) (coins clattering)

(one-armed bandit whooping)

(lively breezy music) (sticks banging)

- Mm.

Ah, charming.

Lisette, Joanne, Annelle,

Kalua, Nani, Lani. (chuckles)

I am like a father. (laughs)

I'm like a father to them all.

- [Amelia] Mm-hmm.

(lively breezy music continues)

(sticks banging continues)

(gentle contemplative music) (singers vocalizing)

- Put your hat on, you brat!

- Ah, shut up!

- Andre.

Has anyone ever told you

you're the biggest louse in the world?

- Heredity.

My family was always known as the biggest louses.

- Lice!

- Lice?

- On the Loire.

- Ah.

Pardon.

Protocol.

(singers vocalizing continues)

(man chanting in foreign language)

(light breezy music)

- Sorry I'm late.

- Twins?

- Tonsils.

- Dr. Dedham.

(waves lapping) (birds chirping)

- Your Highness.

Uh, and a visitor to our island paradise, uh-

- Your sister, Amelia.

Sally.

(Amelia laughs)

- Amelia. - Mm!

Sweet.

(light breezy music continues)

Well, brother of mine, what are you so unhappy about?

- My pants are too tight!

Look.

- [Amelia] Aw!

(hand slapping)

- Thank you.

- The Kennedys will be furious.

As for the Donovans...

Oh, that man!

(coins rattling)

- Oh, Mademoiselle, look!

A miracle!

A new roof for the chapel.

- I'm very happy for you, Father.

Miss Lafleur, merry Christmas.

- [Miss Lafleur] Oh, thanks, honey.

- And I think this will amuse you, Mr. Gilhooley.

(coins clattering)

And Mr. Donovan?

- He's dressing

for the garden party. - Thank youl!

(gift wrapper paper ripping)

- Hey, what's all the rush about?

- Mr. Donovan,

of all the selfish, stupid, evil, poisonous people!

- Who?

- You! - Me?

- Yes, you!

- Well, that's a fine how do you do on Christmas Day?

- Exactly!

And just how do you think those children feel,

driven out of their own home

as if their own father is ashamed of them?

- [Michael] Well, you've got this thing

a little twisted, haven't you?

- Oh, no, I have not.

- [Michael] You were the one we were worried about.

- Me? - We didn't know whether

some old maid had come out here-

- "Old maid?"

- Yes!

You went around with your nose turned up at everybody

and everything until I made a human being out of you.

- You made a human being out of-

- [Michael] Yes, I made a human being.

- May I ask how?

Let go of me!

What? (groaning)

Oh! Oh!

- That's how.

- Oh, you!

"Old maid!"

(coins rattling) (footsteps tapping)

- Oh, Miss Dedham.

- You're quite welcome.

- Tommy, now you've got to marry me.

- Sure, baby. Sure, sure.

(model train whistle tooting)

(bright gentle music) (model train whirring)

Toot-toot! Toot-toot!

(model train whistle tooting)

(model train whistle tooting)

(light whimsical music) (hammers tapping)

(Father Cluzeot singing in foreign language)

(hammer banging)

- Oh! (shouts in foreign language)

(thunder crashing)

(hammer clatters)

(light breezy music) (waves lapping)

- Amelia, aren't you going to say goodbye to Uncle Guns?

- Mr. Donovan?

No, I am not.

- No guts, huh?

Amelia.

(jeep engine revving)

(jeep engine rumbling)

(jeep engine whirring)

(jeep bangs) (Amelia thuds)

(birds chirping)

- Not again.

- Michael!

Michael Donovan, I...

- Did you hurt yourself?

- You know I'm leaving for home today.

- So I heard.

- Michael, if what you said is true, and if I marry you,

I don't want our children growing up

knowing that their father is a saloonkeeper.

(hammer banging)

(model train whistle tooting) (bright gentle music)

- I gave it to him for a wedding present.

Pax?

- Pax.

(model train whistle tooting)

- A marriage made in heaven.

Amelia, if I were to consent to marry you-

- If you were to consent-

- And if we were to be blessed with children,

and if the first should be a boy,

he will be called Francis X. Donovan after my father.

- He will be called Sedley Atterbury Dedham

after my great uncle.

- Sedley Atterbury...

That's a hell of a name for a Donovan!

- Michael!

We'll call him William after my father.

- After the doc?

That's swell.

I'll call him Bill.

- Pax?

- Pax.

Amelia, you have a mean Irish temper, but I love it.

From now on, I wear the pax in the family.

(Amelia gasps)

- Aah! Stop! (hand spanking)

- Agh!

Oh!

You...

(vocal ensemble singing in foreign language)

(jeep engine revving) (lively upbeat music)

(climatic orchestral music)