Original subtitles

[INTRO MUSIC]

Hey!

Under the willows and down

by the river,

Come join our friends, Every one, having fun,

every day...

Hey!

[CAR HORN]

- Action!

Hey!

Drifting in rowing boats down on the river,

Feel the whispering wind, Every one, having fun,

every day...

[CAMERA FLASH]

[MUSIC]

- For the match.

Can Toad, pull off the perfect shot?

It's the question everybody's asking.

- Yes, and we've been asking it for the last half hour, Toad.

- You can't rush perfection, Ratty.

- But could we hurry it along a little do you think?

It'll be getting dark soon!

- You see it's all in the wiggle

And in the jiggle.

And the...

- Delivery! [WINDOW SMASHES]

- Argh!

- Oh bad luck Toad.

- What! Wait?

My turn.

[MUSIC]

- Yes! - We have a winner.!

- Well played Hedge.

- You're right, Toad.

It is all in the wiggle and the jiggle!

[LAUGHING]

- Heron!

- What did I do? - You put me off.

- Charming, that is.

You bring a fellow his copy of Man About Town

and all you get is grief.

- Oh, is there a new issue out?

- What's this?

- Free gift. Comes with magazine

They call it cologne.

- What's cologne, when it's at home?

- Fancy not knowing what cologne is!

- So what is it then Toad?

- I mean, everybody knows

what cologne is don't they? It's obvious!

Tell them Heron.

- You put it on to smell nice.

- What's wrong with just smelling how you smell?

- Dunno.

But it's all the rage in the city.

Everyone who' everyone is wearing it.

Got to fly!

- Everyone

who�s everyone?

egh?

- Wonder what it smells like?

- Phwoar! No wonder it was free.

- Oh Hedge you spilt it?

- I've done you a favour Toad.

Who'd want to smell like that?

- I think it smells quite nice actually.

[ALL: SNIFF]

- Puuh... You can't be serious Toad.

- It Pongs!

- Well I wouldn't expect you to understand!

Cologne isn't for the everyday animal.

You clearly don't have my refined nostrils.

- Well it doesn't matter now does it? It's gone.

- I'm not going to let that stop me!

I�ll make some more.

- Oh Toad.

- Yes!

Eau Du Toad!

It'll take my refined nostrils,

the finest ingredients and a lot of hard work.

That's where you come in by the way.

Hedge, fetch the cooking pot. We've got work to do.

By the time I'm finished,

the whole river bank will smell me coming.

- Is that a good thing?

That should do it Mole!

- Now what?

- Now we need to gather

all my favourite smells and pop them in the pot.

- Sounds like hard work.

- It is.

So you better get on with it.

I need tulip petals, a pine cone.

Ooh! Oak leaves! And that's just for starters.

- Are you not going to help?

- My dear Hedge, I am helping!

Without my refined nostrils, there'll be no Eau De Toad.

Don't want to tire them out before we begin do we?

Now off you go!

[MUSIC]

- Now is it ready?

- Aaah! Mm hmm.

[TOAD: SNIFFS]

It needs one more thing.

- What?

What could it possibly need!

Hahh, Blackberries!

- I thought blackberry season had finished.

- Not if you know where to look Hedge.

You just follow your nose.

Or rather,

you follow mine.

Come on!

[TOAD: SNIFFS]

- I thought you said you knew where we were going Toad.

We've been going for ages.

- My refined nostrils won't let us down...

[TOAD: SNIFFS]

Huh Ha! What did I tell you!

Blackberries! All thanks to these.

- Oi!

Hands off!

- Weasels.

- Just what we need.

Those are our blackberries.

Yeah, we're having them for lunch.

Well, we were here first.

Don't matter!

They're in the wild woods.

They're ours.

- It doesn't work like that Chief,

and you know it.

- Maybe we could share?

Not even you could eat that many blackberries Toad.

- Who said anything about eating them.

They're for my cologne.

Eau De Toad.

- Eau de what?

- It makes you smell nice.

- Everybody who's everybody is doing it.

- Toad's going to make himself smell of blackberries.

- Not just blackberries.

Pine cones, oak leaves.

[WEASELS LAUGH]

- I've never heard anything so silly in all my life.

[WEASELS LAUGH]

- Yes. Well. I wouldn't expect you to understand.

You don't have my refined nostrils.

Now, if you don't mind.

- Let them have them. We'll grab some gooseberries instead.

Unless you want them for your cologne, too?

[CHIEF LAUGHS]

- We're not going to let him get away with that, are we Chief?

- Course not, Tinker.

Nobody takes our blackberries.

After we've had our grub.

We'll teach that toad a lesson and really give his refined

nostrils a treat.

[WEASELS LAUGH]

[TOAD: SNIFFS]

- Now, it's perfect.

- Thank goodness for that.

- How long do we leave it?

- Oh, about the length of time it'll take us to have lunch.

What, do you fancy?

- Anything but blackberries!

[HEDGE AND MOLE LAUGH]

[HEDGE LAUGHS]

[CHIEF SNICKERS]

- Everyone got their ingredients?

- Rotten eggs.

- Oh!

Pongy, peelings from the compost.

- And...

one of my stinky socks.

- Oh!

- How does it smell?

[SMUDGE DISGUSTED]

- Perfect!

[CHIEF LAUGHS]

[TINKER COUGHS]

[MUSIC]

- Lovely lunch! Thanks, Toad.

- You're welcome!

And now,

it's time for a treat for your other senses.

I give you.

Eau De Toad!

Well! What do you think?

[RATTY SNIFFS]

- Oh!

I think it smells terrible, Toad.

- Well, you would say that you don't have my...

- Refined nostrils, I know!

But are you sure it's supposed to smell like that, Toad?

- Of course it is.

[TOAD SNIFFS]

[TOAD CHOKING]

They just take some getting used to.

- Hmm...

- Oh!

What's happened?

It's not supposed to smell like that.

- Aah!

I think this might have something to do with it.

[WEASELS LAUGH]

- You!

My cologne.

It's ruined!

- That will teach you to take our blackberries.

[WEASELS LAUGH]

- Oh!

The swines!

- You can't stay smelling like that, Toad.

- Come on, let's go and give you a scrub in the river.

[WEASELS LAUGH]

- Chief, look.

The've left the door open.

- Oh, this just gets better and better.

What are we waiting for?

- That's it Toad. Get it all off.

- You were right about one thing, Toad.

The whole river bank can smell you coming.

- Ugh, disgusting!

- The sooner I dry off, the better.

Hmm!

It's locked.

[WEASELS LAUGH]

- Sure is, Toad!

You left the door open.

- Toad Hall's all ours.

You'll never get us out of here.

Never!

- I wouldn't be so sure about that.

[SPLASHING]

[HEDGE COUGHING AND CHOKING]

- This better be worth It, Mole!

[TOAD KNOCKING]

- Last chance to come out, weasels.

- Or else!

- Or else, what?

[WEASELS: Wohah! What a stink!]

[TINKER: Get me outa here!]

- Run!

[WEASELS COUGHING]

- Run!

- Well done, Toad.

You might not have made the perfect perfume,

but you did make the perfect weasel repellent.

[HEDGE AND RATTY LAUGH]

- It's all thanks to my refined nostrils.

- Yes, Toad. You said.

[HEDGE LAUGHS]

- Come on, let's get this stuff off us.

[HEDGE LAUGHS]

- Last one in the river's a stinky toad.

- Hey, I heard that!

- You were supposed to!

[ALL LAUGH]

[MUSIC]

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