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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:00:07,300 --> 00:00:09,370 Hey Saffron, I know that you spent the night 2 00:00:09,470 --> 00:00:11,040 at your dad's last night. 3 00:00:11,140 --> 00:00:12,110 Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, cool, 4 00:00:12,210 --> 00:00:14,410 because I am flexible. 5 00:00:14,510 --> 00:00:17,310 Even though the schedule has stayed the same for five years. 6 00:00:17,410 --> 00:00:18,910 But guess what? Me? 7 00:00:19,020 --> 00:00:20,750 Boop! Open to change. 8 00:00:20,850 --> 00:00:22,920 I made ya a cake. Surprise! - Mom... 9 00:00:23,020 --> 00:00:25,090 It's your favourite, honey. 10 00:00:25,190 --> 00:00:27,150 Um, it's like a money cake, but guess what. 11 00:00:27,260 --> 00:00:28,590 It's got period products in it. 12 00:00:28,690 --> 00:00:29,590 Mom, stop. 13 00:00:29,690 --> 00:00:32,160 Amazing. It's got pads, it's got tampons. 14 00:00:32,260 --> 00:00:33,590 I just dread the money cake 'cause guess what- 15 00:00:33,700 --> 00:00:34,960 Mom! 16 00:00:35,060 --> 00:00:36,600 We've talked about this. 17 00:00:36,700 --> 00:00:38,270 You have no boundaries. 18 00:00:39,040 --> 00:00:40,270 I just need some space. 19 00:00:40,370 --> 00:00:41,840 Okay, honey, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. 20 00:00:43,110 --> 00:00:44,000 I got space. 21 00:00:44,110 --> 00:00:45,170 I got loads of space. 22 00:00:45,270 --> 00:00:46,170 I love space. 23 00:00:46,280 --> 00:00:47,980 I'm practically like NASA. You want a ride? 24 00:00:48,080 --> 00:00:49,780 That's the exact opposite of what I want. 25 00:00:49,880 --> 00:00:51,010 Okay, I'll talk to you tonight. 26 00:00:51,110 --> 00:00:52,980 Good, yeah, I'm gonna see you tonight, that's for sure. 27 00:00:53,080 --> 00:00:54,310 'Cause I'm gonna call you, I'm not gonna call you. 28 00:00:54,420 --> 00:00:55,850 I love you, you wanna see me pop a wheelie? 29 00:00:55,950 --> 00:00:58,150 Mom's cool, beep-bow! 30 00:00:58,250 --> 00:00:59,220 Zap me up, brah! 31 00:01:06,330 --> 00:01:10,660 Hey, um, I tried to call you all weekend to apologize. 32 00:01:10,770 --> 00:01:12,000 What is going on? 33 00:01:12,100 --> 00:01:14,030 I am just moving out the last of my things. 34 00:01:14,140 --> 00:01:15,500 If you could please wait outside, 35 00:01:15,600 --> 00:01:17,070 that would be wonderful. 36 00:01:20,280 --> 00:01:23,340 Okay, I'm pretty sure the picture of Pete and I is mine. 37 00:01:23,450 --> 00:01:25,550 I'm pretty sure that you gave it to me, so. 38 00:01:27,180 --> 00:01:28,880 And I didn't respond to your apology 39 00:01:28,980 --> 00:01:30,450 because you complained about me to HR 40 00:01:30,550 --> 00:01:32,090 and then you lied about it. 41 00:01:35,320 --> 00:01:37,620 And I'm pretty sure that this pen is mine. 42 00:01:37,730 --> 00:01:39,890 You were touching people who didn't wanna be touched. 43 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:40,960 How would you know? 44 00:01:41,060 --> 00:01:42,060 Because it was me! 45 00:01:42,160 --> 00:01:44,060 I don't wanna be touched by you! 46 00:01:44,170 --> 00:01:46,800 Well then, honey, be specific, don't speak for the group. 47 00:01:46,900 --> 00:01:51,140 I specifically don't want your ass on my desk right now. 48 00:01:51,240 --> 00:01:52,570 You don't? You don't like this ass on your desk? 49 00:01:52,680 --> 00:01:53,570 Do you like this? 50 00:01:53,680 --> 00:01:54,910 Hoo-hoo-hoo, hoo-hoo-hoo. 51 00:01:55,010 --> 00:01:55,940 Hoo-hoo-hoo-hoo- 52 00:01:56,050 --> 00:01:58,950 You have made my job impossible since day one. 53 00:01:59,050 --> 00:02:01,780 You wouldn't have a job if it wasn't for me. Hmm? 54 00:02:03,720 --> 00:02:04,950 You know what I think? 55 00:02:05,050 --> 00:02:06,320 I think that we should take a break. 56 00:02:06,420 --> 00:02:09,660 That is the first idea of yours I've actually liked. Hmm. 57 00:02:13,630 --> 00:02:15,160 Close the door after you. 58 00:02:16,400 --> 00:02:18,130 Maybe don't let it hit you on that ass. 59 00:02:23,470 --> 00:02:26,370 ♪ I feel it all, I feel it all ♪ 60 00:02:27,940 --> 00:02:29,480 ♪ I feel it all ♪ 61 00:02:30,310 --> 00:02:31,880 Can I ask you something? 62 00:02:31,980 --> 00:02:33,680 Is it about your fight with Kris? 63 00:02:33,780 --> 00:02:34,680 I can't talk to Kris right now 64 00:02:34,780 --> 00:02:36,850 because she's being ridiculous. 65 00:02:36,950 --> 00:02:37,850 This is about Pete. 66 00:02:37,950 --> 00:02:38,850 Okay, so this morning, 67 00:02:38,950 --> 00:02:40,250 I asked him if he wanted to have lunch 68 00:02:40,360 --> 00:02:41,260 and he said no 69 00:02:41,360 --> 00:02:42,360 because he has a thing. 70 00:02:42,460 --> 00:02:43,790 But I know on Tuesdays 71 00:02:43,890 --> 00:02:45,260 he never has a thing. 72 00:02:45,360 --> 00:02:46,290 But then he gets a text 73 00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:47,530 saying he does have a thing. 74 00:02:47,630 --> 00:02:48,530 But the text is from a number 75 00:02:48,630 --> 00:02:49,600 I don't recognize, 76 00:02:49,700 --> 00:02:51,270 which is a huge thing. 77 00:02:51,370 --> 00:02:52,700 What is happening here? 78 00:02:52,800 --> 00:02:53,700 What is happening here? 79 00:02:53,800 --> 00:02:54,870 No, no, no, no, this, 80 00:02:54,970 --> 00:02:55,870 you trying to talk to me 81 00:02:55,970 --> 00:02:57,270 about non-work stuff. 82 00:02:57,370 --> 00:02:58,870 What is this about? 83 00:02:58,970 --> 00:03:00,710 You're my only other work friend, so. 84 00:03:00,810 --> 00:03:01,740 As your friend, 85 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:04,240 you should know that I have a lot of work to do 86 00:03:04,350 --> 00:03:06,510 and friends do not let friends 87 00:03:06,620 --> 00:03:07,750 not get their work done. 88 00:03:07,850 --> 00:03:08,750 You're right, Jamila. 89 00:03:08,850 --> 00:03:09,920 What do I do when I have problems? 90 00:03:10,020 --> 00:03:11,920 I bury myself in work. 91 00:03:12,020 --> 00:03:12,920 That's right. 92 00:03:13,020 --> 00:03:13,920 Thank you, friend. 93 00:03:14,020 --> 00:03:15,920 You're welcome, yes! 94 00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:17,930 Where was I? 95 00:03:18,030 --> 00:03:21,130 Ooh, these are to die for! 96 00:03:21,230 --> 00:03:23,460 Gonna look like fire! 97 00:03:25,430 --> 00:03:27,430 Mo, I messed up. 98 00:03:27,540 --> 00:03:29,000 Saffron stayed at her dad's last night 99 00:03:29,100 --> 00:03:31,140 and she didn't even eat her apology cake. 100 00:03:31,240 --> 00:03:32,140 It looks really good. 101 00:03:32,240 --> 00:03:33,540 Red Velvet? - Yeah. 102 00:03:33,640 --> 00:03:34,540 Can I, uh? 103 00:03:34,640 --> 00:03:36,040 Yeah, thanks. 104 00:03:39,080 --> 00:03:41,820 I lost my daughter and I lost my best friend, Julie. 105 00:03:41,920 --> 00:03:42,980 Although I don't care about Julie 106 00:03:43,090 --> 00:03:43,980 'cause she's an arse fart. 107 00:03:44,090 --> 00:03:46,390 Hold on now, there's no way 108 00:03:46,490 --> 00:03:47,690 that you lost your daughter. 109 00:03:47,790 --> 00:03:49,260 Maybe you need to go a little easier on Julie, 110 00:03:49,360 --> 00:03:50,260 because I really feel 111 00:03:50,360 --> 00:03:51,890 like she's trying to help. 112 00:03:54,460 --> 00:03:59,330 Hmm, mm, oh, okay. 113 00:03:59,440 --> 00:04:00,570 It's not used. 114 00:04:00,670 --> 00:04:02,200 Oh, that's fun. 115 00:04:03,110 --> 00:04:04,540 You wanna know what she did? 116 00:04:05,610 --> 00:04:07,370 Okay, are you ready? 117 00:04:07,480 --> 00:04:08,610 So Julie took eighty knives 118 00:04:08,710 --> 00:04:09,780 and then she stabbed me in the back 119 00:04:09,880 --> 00:04:11,080 just like this. 120 00:04:11,180 --> 00:04:12,880 Oh, oh, geez. 121 00:04:14,380 --> 00:04:15,950 And one in the throat, 122 00:04:16,050 --> 00:04:17,250 - and twisted it. - Ooh! 123 00:04:18,490 --> 00:04:19,720 She slit it. 124 00:04:19,820 --> 00:04:21,290 Okay, okay. - Yeah. 125 00:04:21,390 --> 00:04:22,490 I think maybe Julie 126 00:04:22,590 --> 00:04:23,790 or anybody else, for that matter, 127 00:04:23,890 --> 00:04:25,960 is struggling to share how they feel 128 00:04:26,060 --> 00:04:27,930 because they're worried about the person 129 00:04:28,030 --> 00:04:31,130 rejecting them or reacting badly. 130 00:04:31,230 --> 00:04:32,830 Maybe they wanted to tell you how they felt 131 00:04:32,940 --> 00:04:34,100 for a very long time. 132 00:04:34,200 --> 00:04:35,940 Maybe there's been clues. 133 00:04:36,040 --> 00:04:37,570 Maybe there's been magic. 134 00:04:42,580 --> 00:04:44,110 Oh, I am so sorry. 135 00:04:45,580 --> 00:04:46,980 Shambala. 136 00:04:54,760 --> 00:04:57,860 ♪ 137 00:04:57,960 --> 00:04:59,360 Yes. 138 00:05:01,230 --> 00:05:04,670 Obviously, we are together now. 139 00:05:08,240 --> 00:05:09,340 Oh, P.S. 140 00:05:09,440 --> 00:05:12,010 ♪ We're goin' out tonight ♪ 141 00:05:12,110 --> 00:05:14,140 Top tip, I love baked cheese. 142 00:05:14,240 --> 00:05:15,710 Baked cheese. 143 00:05:18,080 --> 00:05:19,580 I'm float, I'm floating. 144 00:05:21,280 --> 00:05:23,380 I knew Kris was gonna be a huge star. 145 00:05:23,490 --> 00:05:25,720 And look, our numbers are fantastic. 146 00:05:25,820 --> 00:05:28,190 And "Glow Up with Kris" has just been nominated 147 00:05:28,290 --> 00:05:31,020 for a Poddy Award. - Oh! 148 00:05:31,130 --> 00:05:33,260 Fantastic, okay. - Mmhmm. 149 00:05:33,360 --> 00:05:34,590 Well, we'll have to capitalize on this. 150 00:05:34,700 --> 00:05:35,800 What's your next move then? 151 00:05:35,900 --> 00:05:38,030 Dooh, next, next move... 152 00:05:38,130 --> 00:05:39,930 Celebrity guest? 153 00:05:40,040 --> 00:05:41,300 Perfect, perfect. 154 00:05:41,400 --> 00:05:42,800 But make it a big one, okay? 155 00:05:42,910 --> 00:05:44,810 Uh, Ariana Lupo or, uh, 156 00:05:44,910 --> 00:05:46,610 Bachman-Turner Overdrive. 157 00:05:46,710 --> 00:05:47,610 Okay? 158 00:05:47,710 --> 00:05:49,040 ♪ Ooh ooh-ooh ooh ooh ♪ 159 00:05:52,080 --> 00:05:53,110 Excuse me. 160 00:05:53,220 --> 00:05:54,650 Sorry, could you guys move down? 161 00:05:54,750 --> 00:05:55,820 Yeah, sure. Yeah. 162 00:05:55,920 --> 00:05:57,420 Oh no, no, no. I don't wanna sit there. 163 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,020 Something stinks over there. 164 00:06:00,090 --> 00:06:02,260 Okay, butts in seats please. 165 00:06:02,360 --> 00:06:04,620 Okay, guys, butts in seats. 166 00:06:04,730 --> 00:06:07,090 Today is a good day because 167 00:06:07,200 --> 00:06:09,430 "Glow Up with Kris" just got nominated 168 00:06:09,530 --> 00:06:12,430 for a Poddy Award for Best New Podcast. 169 00:06:13,540 --> 00:06:15,140 Oh my God! - Ah! 170 00:06:15,240 --> 00:06:17,300 So exciting! - Woo! 171 00:06:17,410 --> 00:06:18,670 I did it, I did it! 172 00:06:18,770 --> 00:06:20,340 Yeah, you thought of the concept 173 00:06:20,440 --> 00:06:22,280 and you produced the podcast, right. 174 00:06:22,380 --> 00:06:23,940 'Cause it's your name on the poster, 175 00:06:24,050 --> 00:06:25,010 "Glow Up with Julie"? 176 00:06:25,110 --> 00:06:26,280 I don't think so. 177 00:06:26,380 --> 00:06:27,310 I don't wanna win the award with you. 178 00:06:27,420 --> 00:06:28,520 I don't want anything to do with you. 179 00:06:28,620 --> 00:06:30,050 Well, I don't want anything to do with you. 180 00:06:30,150 --> 00:06:32,320 Well, I do. I want it, okay? 181 00:06:32,420 --> 00:06:34,150 Because it's my brainchild. 182 00:06:34,260 --> 00:06:37,060 And now I can say that I am the proud Zaddy 183 00:06:37,160 --> 00:06:38,830 of an award-nominated podcast 184 00:06:38,930 --> 00:06:40,690 and I am gonna use that little nom 185 00:06:40,800 --> 00:06:42,930 to snag us a phenomenal guest, 186 00:06:43,030 --> 00:06:44,030 someone famous. 187 00:06:44,130 --> 00:06:46,530 Since Kris clearly doesn't need me 188 00:06:46,640 --> 00:06:49,000 to produce her award-nominated show, 189 00:06:49,100 --> 00:06:50,340 uh, I think we should do a little switcheroo 190 00:06:50,440 --> 00:06:52,370 and I'll produce Chelsey 191 00:06:52,470 --> 00:06:54,070 and Robyn can produce Kris. 192 00:06:54,180 --> 00:06:55,080 Okay. 193 00:06:55,180 --> 00:06:56,180 Wait. What? - Why? What? 194 00:06:56,280 --> 00:06:57,540 I don't care, I don't care. 195 00:06:57,650 --> 00:06:58,710 Make it work. 196 00:06:58,810 --> 00:06:59,850 Just get it done. 197 00:06:59,950 --> 00:07:03,450 And know that I will get us a celebrity guest 198 00:07:03,550 --> 00:07:05,090 if it kills me. 199 00:07:11,330 --> 00:07:13,390 We could do an episode about a man 200 00:07:13,500 --> 00:07:15,600 who's keeping a secret from his wife. 201 00:07:15,700 --> 00:07:18,600 Oh, she finds out what it is and he kills her. 202 00:07:18,700 --> 00:07:19,630 No, no, not that. 203 00:07:19,740 --> 00:07:21,740 Oh, yes, the mistress kills her. 204 00:07:21,840 --> 00:07:23,000 No, why does the wife have to die? 205 00:07:23,110 --> 00:07:24,970 'Cause the wife always gets murdered, Julie, okay? 206 00:07:25,070 --> 00:07:26,740 And we're doing a murder podcast. 207 00:07:26,840 --> 00:07:28,580 I feel like you do that every week. 208 00:07:28,680 --> 00:07:31,850 What if we do an episode where the wife lives? 209 00:07:31,950 --> 00:07:33,450 No, I'm sorry, if nobody gets murdered, 210 00:07:33,550 --> 00:07:34,780 I am not doing it. 211 00:07:34,880 --> 00:07:36,620 Sorry, Boomer. 212 00:07:36,720 --> 00:07:37,650 I am not a Boomer! 213 00:07:37,750 --> 00:07:38,650 I am Gen X. 214 00:07:38,750 --> 00:07:39,790 Same difference. 215 00:07:39,890 --> 00:07:42,960 We are a tiny but mighty and ignored generation 216 00:07:43,060 --> 00:07:44,960 who grew up watching a lot of television 217 00:07:45,060 --> 00:07:46,360 that led us to believe that quicksand 218 00:07:46,460 --> 00:07:48,830 was going to be a large danger in our life, hey! 219 00:07:48,930 --> 00:07:50,060 Fine, ignore me. 220 00:07:50,170 --> 00:07:53,000 Just makes my generation stronger! 221 00:07:53,100 --> 00:07:54,630 I put a call out for Post Malone 222 00:07:54,740 --> 00:07:55,970 and I set my intention candle, 223 00:07:56,070 --> 00:07:57,470 so I actually think it could happen. 224 00:07:57,570 --> 00:07:58,640 Why are you stressing? 225 00:07:58,740 --> 00:07:59,970 This is not like you. 226 00:08:00,080 --> 00:08:02,010 Michael's just not that thrilled about the nomination 227 00:08:02,110 --> 00:08:03,240 because "Queen of King Studios" 228 00:08:03,350 --> 00:08:05,180 has way more nominations than we do. 229 00:08:05,280 --> 00:08:07,080 Yeah, he really hates Amanda King. 230 00:08:07,180 --> 00:08:08,850 So I have to find a big name. 231 00:08:08,950 --> 00:08:10,850 Well, I could put in a call into Naomi Klein. 232 00:08:10,950 --> 00:08:13,050 And I could throw myself into traffic, Julie. 233 00:08:13,160 --> 00:08:15,120 But neither of those suggestions is gonna help. 234 00:08:16,730 --> 00:08:18,760 Okay, so what do you want this episode to be about? 235 00:08:20,130 --> 00:08:21,190 I get to choose? 236 00:08:21,300 --> 00:08:22,300 Yeah. 237 00:08:22,400 --> 00:08:24,060 Okay, great, um, well, I have a load of ideas. 238 00:08:24,170 --> 00:08:26,530 Um, we could do an episode on highlighter or low lighter. 239 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:27,730 Okay, I like those. - This one, rainbows- 240 00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:28,740 This would be fun. 241 00:08:28,840 --> 00:08:29,770 I love rainbows. 242 00:08:29,870 --> 00:08:30,940 Metallic freckles, that's pretty wild. 243 00:08:31,040 --> 00:08:32,140 That's awesome. 244 00:08:32,240 --> 00:08:33,770 This one just says "panther", I don't what it means. 245 00:08:33,880 --> 00:08:34,940 I wrote it on a napkin. 246 00:08:35,040 --> 00:08:36,580 Oh, I love that, roar. 247 00:08:37,810 --> 00:08:38,510 We could do this episode anywhere. 248 00:08:38,610 --> 00:08:39,450 We could do it in a public pool 249 00:08:39,550 --> 00:08:40,580 or a prison or a kindergarten. 250 00:08:40,680 --> 00:08:41,580 Like, wanna go to space? 251 00:08:41,680 --> 00:08:42,580 We could do that. 252 00:08:42,680 --> 00:08:43,780 I think this could be a super fun episode. 253 00:08:43,890 --> 00:08:45,120 This could be a great episode. 254 00:08:45,220 --> 00:08:46,290 You just gotta choose. 255 00:08:46,390 --> 00:08:51,290 ♪ I am letting it steep, letting it percolate ♪ 256 00:08:53,900 --> 00:08:55,260 With the thoughts in my mind, 257 00:08:55,360 --> 00:08:57,000 and they're there and they're ready to pounce. 258 00:08:57,100 --> 00:08:58,430 And then it's, I'm gonna circle back. 259 00:08:58,530 --> 00:08:59,430 Okay. 260 00:08:59,540 --> 00:09:00,430 Thank God I have an appointment. 261 00:09:00,540 --> 00:09:01,600 So I just, I mean, I have to go. 262 00:09:01,700 --> 00:09:02,940 Are we not starting the episode today? 263 00:09:03,040 --> 00:09:04,600 I gave you twelve ideas. 264 00:09:04,710 --> 00:09:06,440 I'm a genius, okay? 265 00:09:06,540 --> 00:09:09,010 Listen, you better get to work. 266 00:09:09,110 --> 00:09:10,340 Wait, what? 267 00:09:11,980 --> 00:09:13,380 Let's try this a different way. 268 00:09:13,480 --> 00:09:16,650 Say the killer has a secret he's keeping from his wife. 269 00:09:16,750 --> 00:09:17,650 What could that be? 270 00:09:17,750 --> 00:09:18,650 That he's a killer. 271 00:09:18,750 --> 00:09:19,850 Besides that. 272 00:09:19,960 --> 00:09:21,660 We can't do a show about some imaginary murderer, okay? 273 00:09:21,760 --> 00:09:22,860 We have to pick one. 274 00:09:22,960 --> 00:09:25,830 Dahmer, Manson, Bundy, Berkowitz, Bernardo, Ramirez, 275 00:09:25,930 --> 00:09:26,860 Menendez, the Black Dahlia, 276 00:09:26,960 --> 00:09:29,330 Jack the ripper, the Hillside Strangler. 277 00:09:29,430 --> 00:09:31,360 I would hate to see your search history. 278 00:09:32,940 --> 00:09:35,170 Okay, fine, the, the killer is my husband. 279 00:09:36,270 --> 00:09:37,440 Your husband killed someone? 280 00:09:37,540 --> 00:09:40,670 Nope, no, no, no, no, no, my husband did not kill anyone. 281 00:09:40,780 --> 00:09:41,840 He's been acting strangely lately, 282 00:09:41,940 --> 00:09:42,880 I'm just trying to figure out what's happening. 283 00:09:42,980 --> 00:09:44,080 He's probably cheating. 284 00:09:44,180 --> 00:09:45,550 That's what I thought too, but nope. 285 00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:47,380 So now I'm looking for new ideas. 286 00:09:47,480 --> 00:09:50,250 Hmm, gambling addiction. 287 00:09:50,350 --> 00:09:52,250 He got food poisoning one time at the casino, 288 00:09:52,350 --> 00:09:54,890 so the craps table has a whole different meaning for him. 289 00:09:54,990 --> 00:09:58,120 Post Malone blocked me, he blocked me! 290 00:09:58,230 --> 00:10:00,130 I feel like I blew out my intention candle 291 00:10:00,230 --> 00:10:01,130 too soon or something. 292 00:10:01,230 --> 00:10:02,730 It's okay, I got this. 293 00:10:02,830 --> 00:10:04,330 We are gonna find someone fantastic! 294 00:10:08,540 --> 00:10:10,940 Julie, I know how you can find out what Pete's secret is. 295 00:10:11,040 --> 00:10:11,940 Okay, great, what is it? 296 00:10:12,040 --> 00:10:13,070 Ask him. 297 00:10:13,180 --> 00:10:14,140 That's your great idea? 298 00:10:14,240 --> 00:10:16,240 My generation values direct communication. 299 00:10:16,350 --> 00:10:18,110 My generation prefers to communicate 300 00:10:18,210 --> 00:10:19,680 through mix tapes, so. 301 00:10:19,780 --> 00:10:21,820 Just call him, right now. 302 00:10:23,950 --> 00:10:26,290 God, your eye contact is unrelenting. 303 00:10:26,390 --> 00:10:27,890 Do you ever blink? 304 00:10:29,060 --> 00:10:30,560 Okay, fine, I'll call him. 305 00:10:33,130 --> 00:10:34,660 Could I have some privacy? 306 00:10:35,900 --> 00:10:38,370 Okay, Boomer. - Ugh, Gen X! 307 00:10:40,740 --> 00:10:42,470 Multiple results back. 308 00:10:46,810 --> 00:10:48,380 Whatever it is, I can take it 309 00:10:48,480 --> 00:10:50,540 'cause it's better than not knowing, it sucked. 310 00:10:50,650 --> 00:10:52,880 I wish I had better news. 311 00:10:54,680 --> 00:10:56,850 Your results are, uh, inconclusive. 312 00:10:56,950 --> 00:10:58,120 Could be any of a number of things. 313 00:10:58,220 --> 00:11:00,890 So I'll have to book you in for a sonohysterogram. 314 00:11:00,990 --> 00:11:04,060 Oh, well, shoot. 315 00:11:04,160 --> 00:11:06,430 I just, I don't, I don't know what that is. 316 00:11:06,530 --> 00:11:07,930 How long till that appointment? 317 00:11:08,030 --> 00:11:09,260 Four months at least. 318 00:11:09,360 --> 00:11:11,060 What are we gonna do about the pain 319 00:11:11,170 --> 00:11:12,130 and the bleeding till then? 320 00:11:12,230 --> 00:11:13,870 A lot of women go on the birth control pill. 321 00:11:13,970 --> 00:11:15,600 Oh God, I can't do that. 322 00:11:15,700 --> 00:11:17,870 I lost my mind on that. 323 00:11:17,970 --> 00:11:19,210 How about an IUD? 324 00:11:19,310 --> 00:11:21,270 That's funny 'cause I heard that's like a fish hook. 325 00:11:21,380 --> 00:11:22,740 Isn't there metal in that one? 326 00:11:22,840 --> 00:11:24,240 Yes. 327 00:11:26,350 --> 00:11:27,850 Interesting, huh? 328 00:11:29,550 --> 00:11:31,250 Is there any other options? 329 00:11:31,350 --> 00:11:32,420 I've told you the options: 330 00:11:32,520 --> 00:11:33,420 you test in four months, 331 00:11:33,520 --> 00:11:36,090 IUD or you keep taking ibuprofen. 332 00:11:36,190 --> 00:11:39,660 They're good for the, the old kidneys, um... 333 00:11:45,900 --> 00:11:47,430 I'm gonna need more time. 334 00:11:48,540 --> 00:11:49,940 Yeah. 335 00:11:52,640 --> 00:11:53,540 Thought about it. 336 00:11:53,640 --> 00:11:55,010 Okay. 337 00:11:55,110 --> 00:11:58,810 Um, I ran out of ibuprofen, so I'm gonna... 338 00:12:00,580 --> 00:12:03,380 The old fish hook, yeah, I'm gonna go for the IUD. 339 00:12:03,490 --> 00:12:04,850 Okay. - Okay. 340 00:12:08,920 --> 00:12:10,390 We don't, we're not gonna do that now, but I- 341 00:12:10,490 --> 00:12:11,560 No, I know, I know that. 342 00:12:11,660 --> 00:12:13,230 So I was just... 343 00:12:13,330 --> 00:12:15,230 I was just chilling out for a second. 344 00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:17,360 I got a big day ahead of me at the office. 345 00:12:18,600 --> 00:12:20,200 Whassup?! 346 00:12:20,300 --> 00:12:21,400 Oh hey. 347 00:12:21,500 --> 00:12:22,400 Remember? 348 00:12:22,500 --> 00:12:24,540 Yeah, it's a deep cut, babe, mm-hm. 349 00:12:24,640 --> 00:12:25,570 Ah. - Ah, okay. 350 00:12:25,670 --> 00:12:26,610 Well, thank you for coming in. 351 00:12:26,710 --> 00:12:27,740 Yeah, of course, what's up? 352 00:12:27,840 --> 00:12:29,210 Uh, 'sup. 353 00:12:29,310 --> 00:12:30,840 Okay, um, I have a question for you. 354 00:12:30,950 --> 00:12:31,980 Mm-hmm. 355 00:12:32,080 --> 00:12:33,880 Uh, If you thought I was hiding something from you, 356 00:12:33,980 --> 00:12:35,080 what would you do? 357 00:12:35,180 --> 00:12:37,880 Eat my feelings, make a Spotify playlist about you. 358 00:12:37,990 --> 00:12:38,890 Right? - Yeah. 359 00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:40,450 This is what normal healthy adults do. 360 00:12:40,560 --> 00:12:42,890 But my coworker thinks I should just ask directly. 361 00:12:42,990 --> 00:12:44,060 Weird. - Yeah. 362 00:12:44,160 --> 00:12:45,660 Could work, but. 363 00:12:46,830 --> 00:12:47,760 Alright, well here goes. 364 00:12:47,860 --> 00:12:49,460 Um, are you hiding something from me? 365 00:12:49,560 --> 00:12:51,300 I feel like there's something going on. 366 00:12:53,570 --> 00:12:54,570 Yeah, there is something. 367 00:12:54,670 --> 00:12:56,070 Oh, I knew it. 368 00:12:56,170 --> 00:12:57,970 I'm training to be a firefighter. 369 00:12:59,340 --> 00:13:00,240 I'm sorry, what? 370 00:13:00,340 --> 00:13:01,540 When you were up for that promotion, 371 00:13:01,640 --> 00:13:04,080 I saw how passionate you were about following your dreams 372 00:13:04,180 --> 00:13:05,680 and you inspired me. 373 00:13:07,420 --> 00:13:08,850 So you dreamt of being a firefighter? 374 00:13:08,950 --> 00:13:10,620 Yeah, ever since I was a kid. 375 00:13:10,720 --> 00:13:11,950 I had no idea. 376 00:13:12,050 --> 00:13:14,490 Babe, it is literally my Halloween costume every year. 377 00:13:14,590 --> 00:13:16,460 My Halloween costume is always Austin Powers, 378 00:13:16,560 --> 00:13:18,020 that doesn't mean I wanna be a spy. 379 00:13:18,130 --> 00:13:19,360 Why didn't you tell me? 380 00:13:19,460 --> 00:13:21,830 I am the oldest guy there, it's very intimidating. 381 00:13:21,930 --> 00:13:23,460 I'm proud of you. 382 00:13:23,570 --> 00:13:26,000 Also, you know, I've always had kind of a thing 383 00:13:26,100 --> 00:13:27,170 for firefighters. 384 00:13:27,270 --> 00:13:28,670 Oh, I know. 385 00:13:28,770 --> 00:13:31,300 Another reason why it's always my Halloween costume. 386 00:13:31,410 --> 00:13:33,470 Mm, does that mean you have a thing for Austin Powers? 387 00:13:33,580 --> 00:13:35,540 No, no, not at all. No, I don't like it. 388 00:13:35,640 --> 00:13:38,980 Does it make you feel sexually excited, baby? 389 00:13:39,080 --> 00:13:40,510 Do you want to allow me 390 00:13:40,620 --> 00:13:43,020 to touch your bathing suit areas, baby? 391 00:13:43,120 --> 00:13:44,720 God, I'm gonna call HR. 392 00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:46,420 Kris, your fight with Julie ends now. 393 00:13:46,520 --> 00:13:47,520 Stop whatever you're doing. 394 00:13:47,620 --> 00:13:50,220 I just got us the perfect celebrity guest 395 00:13:50,330 --> 00:13:51,390 for "Glow Up with Kris". 396 00:13:51,490 --> 00:13:53,360 You know, their only time is now, right? 397 00:13:53,460 --> 00:13:56,600 So please come to the office immediately, all right? 398 00:13:57,700 --> 00:13:59,270 Evan, about the Chelsey episode, 399 00:13:59,370 --> 00:14:00,370 I was wondering if we could- 400 00:14:00,470 --> 00:14:02,100 Before you say whatever you're gonna say, 401 00:14:02,200 --> 00:14:04,200 I just got us Peaches. 402 00:14:04,310 --> 00:14:05,210 Peaches? 403 00:14:05,310 --> 00:14:06,210 Peaches. - Peaches?! 404 00:14:06,310 --> 00:14:08,110 I feel like I'm speaking another language. 405 00:14:08,210 --> 00:14:10,380 Musician, queer feminist icon, 406 00:14:10,480 --> 00:14:13,110 performance artist, rock god Peaches?! 407 00:14:13,220 --> 00:14:15,480 Mmhmm. - I love her! 408 00:14:15,580 --> 00:14:16,920 Her song, "Fuck The Pain Away," 409 00:14:17,020 --> 00:14:18,250 first song I played at my wedding. 410 00:14:18,350 --> 00:14:20,250 What? Okay, I have a problem, 411 00:14:20,360 --> 00:14:21,250 Kris isn't here. 412 00:14:21,360 --> 00:14:22,320 I don't know where to find her 413 00:14:22,420 --> 00:14:24,120 and-and Peaches could come in at any minute. 414 00:14:24,230 --> 00:14:26,090 So can you do the interview? 415 00:14:26,190 --> 00:14:27,830 Ah! Yes! Oh my God! 416 00:14:27,930 --> 00:14:29,460 Yes, yes, yes! 417 00:14:29,560 --> 00:14:32,600 I've always wanted to interview Peaches. 418 00:14:32,700 --> 00:14:35,100 Thank you. Yeah, yeah! - Okay. 419 00:14:35,200 --> 00:14:37,270 Oh my God, I, I just totally hugged you. 420 00:14:37,370 --> 00:14:38,270 No, I'm- 421 00:14:38,370 --> 00:14:39,270 Inappropriate for the office. 422 00:14:39,370 --> 00:14:40,270 Yeah, so I won't- 423 00:14:40,380 --> 00:14:41,270 It was weird. 424 00:14:41,380 --> 00:14:42,510 Ugh! 425 00:14:44,610 --> 00:14:48,350 eat quirky rock music] 426 00:14:49,620 --> 00:14:50,520 It's a totally different place. 427 00:14:50,620 --> 00:14:51,520 Yeah, yeah. 428 00:14:51,620 --> 00:14:52,520 Transformed for sure. 429 00:14:52,620 --> 00:14:53,920 Hello, Peaches! - Hi. 430 00:14:54,020 --> 00:14:54,990 Nice to meet you. 431 00:14:55,090 --> 00:14:57,060 Hi, hi. - Oh my God, um... 432 00:14:58,930 --> 00:15:01,030 I'm Kris from "Glow Up with Kris". 433 00:15:01,130 --> 00:15:02,830 'Cause that's the title of the show 434 00:15:02,930 --> 00:15:04,830 and I am the host of that show. 435 00:15:04,930 --> 00:15:06,530 I just need to speak to my colleague for just a second. 436 00:15:06,640 --> 00:15:07,700 Okay. 437 00:15:07,800 --> 00:15:09,540 You're beautiful and you're here, oh my god, okay. 438 00:15:10,340 --> 00:15:11,400 All good. 439 00:15:11,510 --> 00:15:12,740 I am doing this interview. 440 00:15:12,840 --> 00:15:13,740 I am not going anywhere. 441 00:15:13,840 --> 00:15:14,740 Yes, you are. - Nope, I'm not. 442 00:15:14,840 --> 00:15:16,240 Just one second. 443 00:15:16,340 --> 00:15:17,240 This is the interviewing chair. 444 00:15:17,350 --> 00:15:18,780 Okay, oh my God! 445 00:15:18,880 --> 00:15:21,080 We have talked about you putting your ass on me. 446 00:15:21,180 --> 00:15:22,620 Honey, if you don't want my ass on your ass, 447 00:15:22,720 --> 00:15:24,720 then you gotta move your ass. 448 00:15:24,820 --> 00:15:27,790 How can my ass be on your ass when my ass is on the chair? 449 00:15:27,890 --> 00:15:29,990 Potato, patato, you are embarrassing us! 450 00:15:30,090 --> 00:15:31,390 That is not how- - That is not how- 451 00:15:31,490 --> 00:15:32,660 potato, patato works! - potato, patato works! 452 00:15:32,760 --> 00:15:33,730 You are embarrassing- 453 00:15:33,830 --> 00:15:36,000 Hey, hey, listen, I love a good ass talk... 454 00:15:36,100 --> 00:15:37,130 Mm-hmm. 455 00:15:37,230 --> 00:15:38,900 But what the fuck is going on? 456 00:15:39,000 --> 00:15:41,230 I'm interviewing you. - I'm interviewing you. 457 00:15:41,340 --> 00:15:42,740 I'm confused, what do I do? 458 00:15:42,840 --> 00:15:44,070 Just keep recording. 459 00:15:44,170 --> 00:15:46,410 I really don't wanna fight with you. 460 00:15:46,510 --> 00:15:49,640 I am so exhausted from fighting with my body all the time. 461 00:15:49,740 --> 00:15:50,810 I don't have the energy for this. 462 00:15:50,910 --> 00:15:52,110 I wanna fight with you. - What? 463 00:15:52,210 --> 00:15:54,450 Because then I don't have to focus 464 00:15:54,550 --> 00:15:57,180 on the fact that I'm losing the fight with my doctors 465 00:15:57,290 --> 00:15:58,850 and I think I'm losing my daughter. 466 00:15:58,950 --> 00:16:00,720 And I'm so sorry, 467 00:16:00,820 --> 00:16:02,190 this wasn't supposed to happen. 468 00:16:02,290 --> 00:16:05,960 And I, um, I feel like a real loser. 469 00:16:07,560 --> 00:16:10,500 You're not a loser, I'm not a loser. 470 00:16:10,600 --> 00:16:12,070 Peaches, you are definitely not a loser. 471 00:16:12,170 --> 00:16:13,130 We're not losers. 472 00:16:13,230 --> 00:16:14,700 I think we could use some teaches, Peaches. 473 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:15,800 Okay, I got some teaches. 474 00:16:15,900 --> 00:16:16,800 Yes. - Yes. 475 00:16:16,910 --> 00:16:20,540 It's either perimenopause or menopause. 476 00:16:20,640 --> 00:16:22,010 No, I just, I can't accept that 477 00:16:22,110 --> 00:16:25,280 because the doctor doesn't say that any of my symptoms 478 00:16:25,380 --> 00:16:26,680 are perimenopause. 479 00:16:26,780 --> 00:16:29,420 And everything you hear about menopause is so absolutely crap. 480 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:30,720 Why would you ever admit that you're in it? 481 00:16:30,820 --> 00:16:32,720 Menopause. 482 00:16:33,820 --> 00:16:35,920 - And perimenopause. - Okay, Julie. 483 00:16:36,020 --> 00:16:39,060 I love you, you're amazing, I'm in perimenopause, okay? 484 00:16:39,160 --> 00:16:40,560 I admit it, there, I just said it. 485 00:16:40,660 --> 00:16:42,530 Menopause is hard. 486 00:16:42,630 --> 00:16:44,700 But there's a strength going through it. 487 00:16:44,800 --> 00:16:46,700 And now you make a choice. 488 00:16:48,800 --> 00:16:53,870 And the choice I've made is to not give a fuck! 489 00:16:53,980 --> 00:16:55,940 I would love not to give a fuck. 490 00:16:56,040 --> 00:16:58,310 That's basically where my trouble is. 491 00:16:58,410 --> 00:17:00,480 I've got no libido and when I do have sex, 492 00:17:00,580 --> 00:17:02,420 it feels like razor blades. 493 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:05,790 And honestly, ah, I could give up the P in V sex, 494 00:17:05,890 --> 00:17:07,920 but I'm not sure that my husband Pete can. 495 00:17:08,020 --> 00:17:11,590 I'm worried that if I cannot fix this thing, 496 00:17:11,690 --> 00:17:14,460 I am gonna do some damage to my marriage. 497 00:17:14,560 --> 00:17:15,460 But have you told him? 498 00:17:15,560 --> 00:17:16,930 No, she can't talk about it with him. 499 00:17:17,030 --> 00:17:19,500 It's not like you're talking to your kid about your thing. 500 00:17:19,600 --> 00:17:21,430 It's not the same thing, my thing's scary. 501 00:17:21,540 --> 00:17:22,600 It's just lots of like bleeding 502 00:17:22,700 --> 00:17:23,670 and there's doctor's appointments 503 00:17:23,770 --> 00:17:25,140 and there's fainting, 504 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:26,770 and, and she's just a kid. 505 00:17:27,940 --> 00:17:31,310 And I don't have anyone to talk to at home. 506 00:17:31,410 --> 00:17:36,180 And just she's, I'm alone, Julie. 507 00:17:40,260 --> 00:17:44,060 Okay, gimme your hand, gimme your hand, you too. 508 00:17:45,430 --> 00:17:47,330 And two of you take hands. 509 00:17:48,260 --> 00:17:50,330 Julie, look at each other. 510 00:17:51,430 --> 00:17:54,000 You have each other, look at each other. 511 00:17:54,100 --> 00:17:55,330 Okay. 512 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:58,910 This is what we need. This is our strength! 513 00:17:59,010 --> 00:18:00,510 This is our strength! 514 00:18:00,610 --> 00:18:01,670 Yes Peaches! 515 00:18:01,780 --> 00:18:02,680 Say it in the mic. 516 00:18:02,780 --> 00:18:05,710 This is our strength! 517 00:18:05,810 --> 00:18:08,950 ♪ Tear it up, rip it up, kick it up ♪ 518 00:18:09,050 --> 00:18:12,790 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 519 00:18:12,890 --> 00:18:16,390 ♪ Tear it up, rip it up, kick it up ♪ 520 00:18:16,490 --> 00:18:19,960 ♪ Yeah, yeah ♪ 521 00:18:20,060 --> 00:18:22,730 ♪ Tear it up, rip it up, kick ♪ 522 00:18:22,830 --> 00:18:24,260 We're so lucky that you're here. 523 00:18:24,370 --> 00:18:26,600 When you share, you help carry the burden. 524 00:18:26,700 --> 00:18:27,900 And to be honest with you, 525 00:18:28,000 --> 00:18:30,240 this is one of the best times of my life. 526 00:18:30,340 --> 00:18:33,270 My creative output is off the hook. 527 00:18:33,370 --> 00:18:35,780 Finally, something positive about menopause. 528 00:18:35,880 --> 00:18:37,440 I like panthers. 529 00:18:37,550 --> 00:18:38,780 Okay. 530 00:18:40,920 --> 00:18:43,620 Mo, I had the most incredible conversation with Peaches. 531 00:18:43,720 --> 00:18:45,180 I'm gonna tell you all about it 532 00:18:45,290 --> 00:18:46,820 over that hot cheese platter. 533 00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:48,960 Kris, I can't. 534 00:18:49,060 --> 00:18:51,190 No problem, how are you with Thai fusion? 535 00:18:51,290 --> 00:18:55,330 No, I mean us, I, I can't do this. 536 00:18:55,430 --> 00:18:57,800 My job is to keep office romance above board 537 00:18:57,900 --> 00:19:02,500 and what's the look if I'm in one that's not above board? 538 00:19:02,600 --> 00:19:04,640 If this continues, I'd have to write myself up, 539 00:19:04,740 --> 00:19:08,310 and possibly fire myself, I guess. 540 00:19:08,410 --> 00:19:12,350 Yeah, so you wanna keep it like above board? 541 00:19:12,450 --> 00:19:13,750 Yes, we can tell everybody. 542 00:19:13,850 --> 00:19:16,680 I think they're gonna be really happy for us. 543 00:19:16,780 --> 00:19:18,580 No, I'm sorry, Kris. 544 00:19:27,660 --> 00:19:29,060 Oh. 545 00:19:29,960 --> 00:19:31,360 You know everything about me. 546 00:19:31,470 --> 00:19:33,200 I know, I'm HR. 547 00:19:33,300 --> 00:19:36,040 I mean like you know the real me and you don't want me. 548 00:19:43,340 --> 00:19:51,280 ♪ 549 00:19:51,390 --> 00:19:57,290 Mm, you should wear the fireman hat more often, ah. 550 00:19:59,430 --> 00:20:01,330 You told your entire podcast audience 551 00:20:01,430 --> 00:20:02,930 that you do not wanna have sex with me? 552 00:20:03,030 --> 00:20:04,000 What? 553 00:20:04,100 --> 00:20:05,630 What are you talking about? 554 00:20:06,770 --> 00:20:07,930 Got no libido and when I do have sex, 555 00:20:08,040 --> 00:20:09,340 it feels like razor blades and I'm really worried... 556 00:20:09,440 --> 00:20:11,100 What? 557 00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:14,110 No, all the personal stuff was supposed to be cut. 558 00:20:14,210 --> 00:20:16,440 You talked about our sex like with Peaches. 559 00:20:17,650 --> 00:20:18,640 Pete, I- 560 00:20:18,750 --> 00:20:20,310 Why wouldn't you tell me that sex is painful? 561 00:20:20,420 --> 00:20:21,510 I feel awful right now. 562 00:20:21,620 --> 00:20:24,350 Well, it doesn't hurt all the time. 563 00:20:24,450 --> 00:20:25,380 How was last night? 564 00:20:25,490 --> 00:20:26,390 It was fine. 565 00:20:26,490 --> 00:20:27,650 Wow. Good. 566 00:20:27,760 --> 00:20:29,490 I don't mean it like that. I mean, it was more than fine. 567 00:20:29,590 --> 00:20:31,060 It was great, actually. 568 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:33,860 I don't know if it was the hat or the suspenders, 569 00:20:33,960 --> 00:20:36,660 but it, everything worked like it should, maybe I'm fixed. 570 00:20:36,760 --> 00:20:37,660 I just don't understand 571 00:20:37,770 --> 00:20:40,030 why you would keep this from me, why? 572 00:20:40,130 --> 00:20:41,230 Oh shit! 573 00:20:41,340 --> 00:20:44,400 I told everyone at the firehouse to listen to the podcast. 574 00:20:44,510 --> 00:20:46,410 Pete, I have no idea what happened. 575 00:20:46,510 --> 00:20:48,370 I don't wanna talk right now, not to you. 576 00:20:48,480 --> 00:20:50,540 Pete! Ugh! 577 00:20:50,650 --> 00:20:52,380 This is all your fault. 578 00:20:54,320 --> 00:20:55,950 It's not like you're talking to your kid about your stuff. 579 00:20:56,050 --> 00:20:57,580 My stuff is different, okay? 580 00:20:57,690 --> 00:21:01,420 It's scary, it's about bleeding and passing out and doctors 581 00:21:01,520 --> 00:21:03,260 and she's just a little kid. 582 00:21:03,360 --> 00:21:04,590 I don't have anyone, 583 00:21:04,690 --> 00:21:07,390 I don't have anyone to talk to at home. 584 00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,800 It just, she's... 585 00:21:09,900 --> 00:21:11,960 I'm alone, Julie. 586 00:21:14,340 --> 00:21:19,240 ♪ Poetry is no place for a heart that's a whore 587 00:21:21,840 --> 00:21:23,410 ♪ And I'm young and I'm strong 588 00:21:23,510 --> 00:21:28,410 ♪ But I feel old and tired, overfired 589 00:21:30,050 --> 00:21:31,520 ♪ And I've been poked and stoked 590 00:21:31,620 --> 00:21:33,520 ♪ It's all smoke, there's no more fire 591 00:21:38,130 --> 00:21:40,030 ♪ For you, whoever you are ♪ 592 00:21:42,230 --> 00:21:43,260 ♪ For you, whoever you are ♪ 42391

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