Original subtitles

[Opening Music]

[Seagulls and waves]

[Sizzling sounds]

Don't you think you should put on

-some sunblock, Rachel? -Nah, that shit's bullshit.

Nothing better than a bit of vitamin D.

[spits]

What are you doing?

I'm reading a romance novel about two writers who met

in a yarn factory in 19th century Spain.

(SIGH) It's so dreamy.

Wouldn't it be great to be a writer?

Read that one already.

Middle was a bit boring

but it picked up a little in the third act.

I didn't know you read books, Rachel?

Yep. Maybe if you asked more questions,

you would know more about my life.

I would, but you sometimes seem a little closed off -

I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!

I'm actually coming up with my own story right now,

well it's more of a manga about these evil demons

I see in me brain.

That's interesting.

Yep. - Okay you little buggers,

it's my duty to tell everyone on the beach

that there are some sick waves comin' soon.

It says so on my wavemeter 4000.

Your dick's hanging out Gravity Gary.

It's not my dick, Timothy. It's my hernia.

I TOLD YA!

Right, go have some fun kiddies!

Go swimmin'

Time to test out my Boogie-Mud- Board that I made.

You comin' in the water, Sarah?

Nah, it's alright, I'll watch you.

Alright, suit yourself.

[Kicking sand castles]

AH!

Yeahhh.

[dramatic music]

AHHHH!

HELP! Somebody! I'm drowning!

Oh my god, Rachel!

[dramatic music]

Oh, no Rachel,

I think we're stuck in a riptide!

Obviously.

[Screaming]!

AHHHHHHH!

Ohh, where are we?

Dunno, but I think there is something lodged in my back.

Shit. That looked expensive.

Ooooh, mamma mia!

We're dobbing on you, we're dobbing on you,

we're dobbing on you!

AHHHHHH!

[Thud]!

We worship you Tasmanian God,

in the sky, wherever you are.

We worship you Tasmanian God,

in the sky, wherever you are.

Uhh, excuse me?

Urgh, this better be important little ones.

Oh, it IS very important,

great Leader Council leader of Tasmania.

These girls broke the ancient flower

that the Tasmanian God blessed us with.

(Gasps) What? / How? / NO! /

That's not right that they did that.

We didn't mean to!

We got stuck in a rip and woke up here!

What do you mean you were stuck in a rip?

What is a... rip ?

You know, like a rip from the water,

it took us from the mainland here to Tasmania, I guess.

Maiinnn...lannd?

[background murmurs]

But there is only Tasmania

which was created by our great Tasmanian god.

That is all that exists in the universe.

Oh, no. There's a whole world out there.

We're from a town called Wollongong.

Here, I can show you -

oh, I didn't bring my phone.

Nah, the girl is lying!

Scrubbly dubbly, we must eat her!

Yes, eeeeeeat heeeerrrr.

No, please don't eat us!

Well, if you can't prove your outlandish claims

that there is more than just Tasmania,

how can we believe you?

Well, umm (thinking)...

OH! I could write a book for you!

A book?

Ooooooooo

Well that sounds like a bit of fun, hmm

I like the thought of a book I could read!

Yeah! Like, a short book that summarises the world

and what happens in it.

It would be so specific that there's no way

I could make it up.

Trust me, I'm not that creative.

Don't worry, she's really not.

Hmmm, books intrigue us...

because it is written on the ancient plate here

that the Tasmanian God loves

quirky little esoteric arty things.

We gift them to her on Tasmania day,

which is EVERY DAY!

We will allow you to write this BOOK

using our GOVERNMENT ART GRANT!

(SINGING IN UNISON) GOVERNMENT ARTTT GRANTTT!

Oh, thank you.

You will have ONE day to write your so-called book,

then you can present it tomorrow for Tasmania Day.

We will put you up in a cute little government funded house

in West Hobart.

Oo isn't that nice?

Oh my god! This is so cool,

I won't let you down.

Oi, why don't you give me the funding?

I can easily write a book like that.

You mentioned before that you like drawing,

did you want to do illustrations for the book?

Hmm, I suppose I can do some commission art for ya,

but I'm not giving you my OC, EVIL BRAIN DEMONS ...

that's my magnum opus.

That's fine.

So be it.

You shall be the fellowship of the book.

Right, where are we going?

Rachel, how many countries are there again?

I dunno. Like, Fifty thousand.

Hmmm, that doesn't seem right.

(Sigh) Maybe this was a bad idea...

I'm feeling self conscious about my writing.

Maybe this will cheer you up then.

-What is it? -It's the planet Earth.

I thought it could be on the title page of your book.

Looks a bit scribbly.

It's supposed to be the anxieties

and tortures of the human race in visual form.

DUH!!!

Okay, I guess that can go in the book.

Huh, that's weird.

Why is there a cord coming out the back of my type writer?

Who cares.

Bloody hell, Sarah,

what did I tell you about leaving the window open?

Zibbledibbles keep getting in!

[Splat]!

Please don't do that, Rachel.

It's alright, they're an invasive species I believe.

[Zing]!

Hi! You spilt Zibbledibble blood

on an inanimate object such as me,

and I came to life!

That's what happens in TASMANIA!

Love that.

Tasmania is so randum!

It's time to present your book, Sarah!

Ehem,

hello,

this is my book about the world.

The world is big and there are countries,

and many beautiful creatures and even humans like me,

um...

The end.

Sorry it's so short, I don't think I had enough time.

AND I DREW THE WORLD!

[chattering]

Hmm...

A little disappointing to be honest.

How about you go home

and re-write it

and present it at tomorrow's Tasmania Day?

Okay?

Oh... sure, okay.

I didn't realise writing could make you

feel kind of crappy about yourself.

Whatever, it's just some constructive feedback and notes.

Just implement them and make the book better.

[rain]

Ah shit, my beautiful drawings!

Quick we need to go under cover!

Hello.

Um, who are you?

I'm Tulivor. Let me guess,

you got caught in a rip and broke the Tasmanian flower

and now you're creating some kind of art piece

on a government grant for the Tasmanians to prove

there's more than just Tasmania?

What?! Yeah, I'm writing a book,

how did you know?

You're not the first,

I have been here sculpting this sculpture

for 18 years for them,

but they are never satisfied...

they just give more notes, because they feed off our PAIN!

Maybe you're just a shit sculptor.

Tell me Sarah?

Did you find the cord behind your writing device?

It's what they use to suck up our essence.

(GASPS)

Come! I'll show you where they have their nibbles.

Mmm...

Oh, I can really taste the insecurities of Sarah

in this new batch.

Yes. Her writers block has added a hint of garlic

and olive oil that I find absolutely divine.

So be it.

Sarah shall stay here and write her book forever,

so we can continue getting this new delicious flavour

added to our spirit goo!

-Ooo yes -yummy yummy yummy

Yummy!

What the hell is wrong with you?

[Screams]!

You're using peoples fears and insecurities

to make... dip???

Oh, so you have figured us out.

Woop-ti-dooooooo.

I thought getting people to make art on government grants

was to please the Tasmanian god?

HA!

There's no such thing as the Tasmanian god!

We are TASMATHIESTS! Get it?

Now go back to your stupid apartment and work on

your stupid book,

so you can create more precious green yummy spirit

goo for eternity!

OUR NIBBLE TIME IS VERY IMPORTANT

AND RELAXING AND NOTHING SHALL IMPEDE IT!

You got in trouble, you got in trouble,

you got in trouble, you got in trouble!

Wait, I've got an idea!

Guess it's time to show you my original creations,

EVIL BRAIN DEMONS, Sarah.

You better not steal them.

Oh my god, you drew those, Rachel?

Yeah, did you think I'd waste my talent on your book drawings?

That was just a commission job.

[Squeak]!

[Snap]!

[Horror music]

RUN, SARAH!

Seize them!

We can't lose our new zesty Sarah flavour!

[Dramatic music]

Oh no! Where do we go?

Let's go inside that house over there.

[Singing]

Who dares disturb the God of Tasmania!

I was in the middle of straightening

my beautiful Tasmanian hair!

Oh my god, the God of Tasmania actually exists!?

We're not worthy!

Hmmm...

What is this?

Ummm.

Alright, so...

a few thoughts.

It's a little bit all over the place

but I can see what you're going for.

This is my first attempt but the people of Tasmania

didn't really like it...

and I found out they were harvesting my insecurities

for some kind of cracker dip.

Oh my god,

this is your first attempt and these Tasmanian Residents

criticized your book?

That's really mean,

and not constructive feedback.

For your punishment, you have to spend 30 days

straightened into the back of my hair.

Here you go.

-OH yay! -Oh that's acutally really nice

no I could do thirty days, I really could.

Sorry about that.

I created those Corporate Memphis characters

as a joke one night,

and I kinda forgot they were the only citizens

of Tasmania right now, sorry.

But I'm really glad you took a stab at writing!

That's really nice of you to say.

I'm glad I did a little bit of writing

but I realised it's probably not my thing.

It's all good, Sarah.

Nothing wrong with dipping your toes

in creative avenues every now and again.

I drew the pictures.

Oh...

okay, they were cool too.

Hey, what's the matter, Sarah?

(SIGH) Oh, I don't know.

All this writing about the outside world

has made me miss it.

I'd sure love to see Wollongong again.

You know,

I have always been too scared to leave my God chamber

but this world out there sounds exciting.

You know what?

Fuck it!

I have been practicing flying a bit by myself.

I will fly you back home!

Fuck it!

Really? Wow, thank you!

Hop into my mouth, haha.

[dramatic music]

Oh, looks like we're landing.

[Screaming]!

Hello Ladies,

hope you enjoyed the sick waves that I recommended you

ride earlier today.

I assume it took you to Tasmania

where fun silly things happened.

I'm Gravity Gary, UGH!

Anyway, we're having a party on the beach right now.

Feel free to stick around and have some fun.

Yes! Beach Party!

I guess I'll just walk around town or something...

seeing as no one invited me to this.

I mean, we weren't invited either.

It doesn't seem like that kind of thing.

You mean, I can join in on the fun?

Yeah, why not?

AWESOOOOOOOMMMMEE!!