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1
00:00:07,991 --> 00:00:09,341
[grunts]
2
00:00:10,573 --> 00:00:11,973
[tires screech]
3
00:00:13,580 --> 00:00:14,730
D'oh!
4
00:00:15,862 --> 00:00:17,486
[grunts]
5
00:00:18,593 --> 00:00:20,076
[all grunting]
6
00:00:22,452 --> 00:00:25,528
HOMER: This guy must be
a pinball wizard!
7
00:00:25,610 --> 00:00:27,635
I'm at work. D'oh!
8
00:00:36,319 --> 00:00:38,653
Hmm, something feels different.
9
00:00:38,733 --> 00:00:39,975
It's 11:00 a.m.
10
00:00:39,979 --> 00:00:41,312
On a weekday.
11
00:00:41,316 --> 00:00:42,648
I'm on my third beer.
12
00:00:42,669 --> 00:00:44,836
Right on schedule.
13
00:00:44,991 --> 00:00:47,082
No, wait, Homer's right.
14
00:00:47,163 --> 00:00:49,330
Something's, uh, missing.
15
00:00:49,352 --> 00:00:52,445
Wasn't there a grade from
the health inspector over there?
16
00:00:52,526 --> 00:00:54,343
Nah, it's always been that sign.
17
00:00:54,348 --> 00:00:57,031
[chuckles] Next year I hope
they give me a "U."
18
00:00:57,188 --> 00:00:58,370
I know what's missing.
19
00:00:58,373 --> 00:01:00,859
Did a woman named Diane
used to work at this bar,
20
00:01:00,863 --> 00:01:03,788
and now she's been replaced
by a woman named Rebecca?
21
00:01:03,871 --> 00:01:07,648
If a woman named Diane had
a lead role in a bar like this,
22
00:01:07,730 --> 00:01:09,304
why would she ever leave?
23
00:01:09,326 --> 00:01:10,993
That'd be career suicide.
24
00:01:11,071 --> 00:01:14,832
No, it's not some smart,
ambitious woman that's missing.
25
00:01:14,915 --> 00:01:18,157
In fact, it's
the complete opposite of that.
26
00:01:18,163 --> 00:01:19,256
[all]
Barney!
27
00:01:19,258 --> 00:01:20,574
No Barney? Wha...?
28
00:01:20,578 --> 00:01:22,854
When's the last time
he was here?
29
00:01:22,859 --> 00:01:24,769
-[rat squeaking, scurrying]
-Oh, oh, God!
30
00:01:24,772 --> 00:01:26,438
He's been gone at least a week.
31
00:01:26,593 --> 00:01:27,850
Hi, guys.
32
00:01:27,853 --> 00:01:29,597
Beat it, string bean,
we're trying to figure out
33
00:01:29,600 --> 00:01:31,192
what happened
to our friend Barney.
34
00:01:31,196 --> 00:01:32,546
I'm Barney.
35
00:01:32,625 --> 00:01:33,774
Ta-da!
36
00:01:33,778 --> 00:01:35,778
[vocalizing]
37
00:01:35,783 --> 00:01:37,450
And you ain't Barney.
38
00:01:37,454 --> 00:01:39,787
Barney Gumble is overweight,
boozed up,
39
00:01:39,809 --> 00:01:42,826
can't go two seconds
without unleashing a-
40
00:01:42,833 --> 00:01:44,742
-[burps]
-[all] Barney!
41
00:01:45,974 --> 00:01:47,474
Uh, wow, buddy.
42
00:01:47,478 --> 00:01:48,737
You really lost some weight.
43
00:01:48,739 --> 00:01:51,423
Yeah, I was feeling
kind of blah,
44
00:01:51,429 --> 00:01:54,822
so I went to the doctor,
and he ordered up some tests.
45
00:01:54,829 --> 00:01:56,162
Oh, my dear friend.
46
00:01:56,182 --> 00:01:57,682
Oh, this ain't good.
47
00:01:57,687 --> 00:01:59,837
No! Why does God take
48
00:01:59,841 --> 00:02:02,193
all the people
that drink themselves to death?
49
00:02:02,197 --> 00:02:03,530
It's not that bad.
50
00:02:03,609 --> 00:02:05,609
The tests just showed
that I have...
51
00:02:05,631 --> 00:02:07,205
"hyperglycemia."
52
00:02:07,210 --> 00:02:09,210
So, low blood sugar?
53
00:02:09,290 --> 00:02:12,475
Lenny, he said "hyper,"
not "hypo."
54
00:02:12,631 --> 00:02:14,631
Any idiot knows the difference,
idiot.
55
00:02:14,711 --> 00:02:16,711
So, Barn, you-you're not dying?
56
00:02:16,716 --> 00:02:19,901
Except in the same,
slow, horrible way we all are.
57
00:02:19,908 --> 00:02:22,058
Soon enough, my pretties.
58
00:02:22,080 --> 00:02:23,338
[chuckles]
59
00:02:23,342 --> 00:02:25,342
I'm fine.
They put me on this medicine
60
00:02:25,347 --> 00:02:27,938
that regulates my glucose.
61
00:02:27,944 --> 00:02:29,168
Othinquic.
62
00:02:29,172 --> 00:02:32,265
The weight loss is
just a side effect.
63
00:02:32,271 --> 00:02:34,447
[vocalizing]
64
00:02:38,788 --> 00:02:41,881
Wow, a medicine
that actually makes you skinny?
65
00:02:41,962 --> 00:02:45,872
That's the best side effect
since Viagra was created for...
66
00:02:45,955 --> 00:02:47,622
What was Viagra created for?
67
00:02:47,627 --> 00:02:50,069
I think it was to help
comedy writers.
68
00:02:50,074 --> 00:02:51,465
[Carl and Homer]
Oh, yeah.
69
00:02:51,468 --> 00:02:52,636
-Yeah, you got that right.
-Those are always funny.
70
00:02:52,639 --> 00:02:54,080
Hey, let's celebrate.
71
00:02:54,159 --> 00:02:56,251
Uh, refresh my memory, uh,
72
00:02:56,256 --> 00:02:58,314
beer's your drink, right?
73
00:02:58,319 --> 00:03:00,577
No, thanks.
Another welcome side effect is,
74
00:03:00,659 --> 00:03:02,508
I no longer crave alcohol.
75
00:03:02,588 --> 00:03:05,923
One club soda with lime, please.
76
00:03:05,929 --> 00:03:07,671
Don't crave alcohol?
77
00:03:07,692 --> 00:03:09,859
I can't let this secret get out.
78
00:03:09,939 --> 00:03:11,122
What secret?
79
00:03:11,201 --> 00:03:12,625
Wonder weight-loss drug.
80
00:03:12,779 --> 00:03:14,111
Oh, hey, Lou?
81
00:03:14,114 --> 00:03:16,542
Want to hear the big news
I'm gonna tell everyone?
82
00:03:16,547 --> 00:03:18,807
Yeah, but, Chief, the bank
robbers are right over there.
83
00:03:18,811 --> 00:03:22,054
And they can stay there until I
tell you this interesting fact.
84
00:03:22,211 --> 00:03:23,560
It all started at Moe's.
85
00:03:23,639 --> 00:03:26,324
You know the place next
to the, uh, the music store?
86
00:03:26,329 --> 00:03:28,647
You mean the one the
bank robbers are holed up in.
87
00:03:28,652 --> 00:03:32,746
If you keep interrupting,
I'm just gonna talk slower.
88
00:03:32,829 --> 00:03:34,763
(Wiggum speaking)
89
00:03:35,911 --> 00:03:37,686
[both grunt]
90
00:03:38,769 --> 00:03:42,104
Thanks. I need to give
something to my son.
91
00:03:42,109 --> 00:03:43,518
A calming butterscotch?
92
00:03:43,521 --> 00:03:46,355
Never leave me alone.
93
00:03:46,438 --> 00:03:48,271
-Now leave me alone. Gah!
-[grunts]
94
00:03:48,275 --> 00:03:49,958
Wow, Chief.
95
00:03:50,038 --> 00:03:51,629
That drug really works.
96
00:03:51,632 --> 00:03:53,451
Go ahead, Lou,
put your hand in there.
97
00:03:53,455 --> 00:03:55,546
-Hey, that's an order.
-I resign.
98
00:03:55,550 --> 00:03:57,294
Well, even so,
I got you for two weeks.
99
00:03:57,298 --> 00:03:58,298
Now stick it in.
100
00:03:58,300 --> 00:03:59,891
Yeah, r-right there, that's it.
101
00:03:59,971 --> 00:04:02,822
I mean, it has
really changed my life.
102
00:04:02,827 --> 00:04:04,662
Sarah and I are
making whoopee again.
103
00:04:04,665 --> 00:04:06,816
We're gonna have
more Ralphies soon.
104
00:04:06,822 --> 00:04:08,263
A big one, a girl one,
105
00:04:08,416 --> 00:04:10,517
one that even looks
more like Eddie.
106
00:04:11,850 --> 00:04:13,333
Must try this drug.
107
00:04:13,337 --> 00:04:15,779
Diet and exercise
do not work for me,
108
00:04:15,860 --> 00:04:17,118
as I do not do them.
109
00:04:17,271 --> 00:04:19,122
So does it come
in gummy or vape?
110
00:04:19,126 --> 00:04:20,610
It's in a convenient needle
111
00:04:20,613 --> 00:04:22,632
that you inject yourself with
once a week.
112
00:04:22,636 --> 00:04:24,785
But you need a prescription.
113
00:04:24,807 --> 00:04:26,289
To the doct-arr.
114
00:04:26,369 --> 00:04:29,036
Then the pharr... macy.
115
00:04:29,059 --> 00:04:31,818
? Well, you can tell
by the way I use my walk ?
116
00:04:31,899 --> 00:04:34,566
? I'm a woman's man,
no time to talk ?
117
00:04:34,723 --> 00:04:38,057
? Music loud and women warm,
I've been kicked around ?
118
00:04:38,081 --> 00:04:40,191
? Since I was born,
and now it's all right. ?
119
00:04:41,181 --> 00:04:43,907
I really don't think you need
to lose weight, sir.
120
00:04:43,912 --> 00:04:45,522
My target weight is
to fit inside
121
00:04:45,525 --> 00:04:47,215
a mailing tube by Christmas.
122
00:04:47,254 --> 00:04:48,612
Jab me.
123
00:04:51,038 --> 00:04:53,263
[Burns grunting]
124
00:04:53,286 --> 00:04:55,027
[Burns]
Excellent.
125
00:04:55,030 --> 00:04:57,383
For the first time since
the invention of the McNugget,
126
00:04:57,388 --> 00:04:59,704
America's waistbands
are shrinking.
127
00:04:59,708 --> 00:05:00,968
Because with this epidemic,
128
00:05:00,971 --> 00:05:03,288
people actually want
to get their shots.
129
00:05:03,310 --> 00:05:05,143
But is this new drug safe?
130
00:05:05,148 --> 00:05:08,800
Our answer: "Yes, of course,
what are you, crazy?"
131
00:05:08,823 --> 00:05:11,916
Won't surprise you after
this word from our sponsor.
132
00:05:11,998 --> 00:05:13,481
?
133
00:05:13,484 --> 00:05:15,503
[announcer] Do you suffer
from blood sugar issues?
134
00:05:15,507 --> 00:05:17,748
Or are you just
not bathing suit-ready
135
00:05:17,752 --> 00:05:20,255
and willing to claim
you have blood sugar issues?
136
00:05:20,260 --> 00:05:23,837
The new Danish drug Othinquic
might be for you.
137
00:05:23,844 --> 00:05:26,435
? Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic ?
138
00:05:26,459 --> 00:05:29,276
I'm a mirakelmedicin.
139
00:05:29,299 --> 00:05:30,873
[boings]
140
00:05:30,953 --> 00:05:32,470
? Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic ?
141
00:05:32,549 --> 00:05:35,883
We're going to be
best friends forever.
142
00:05:35,965 --> 00:05:38,875
Which is how long
you have to take me.
143
00:05:38,880 --> 00:05:40,598
[announcer] Side effects
include lack of appetite,
144
00:05:40,602 --> 00:05:41,977
pancreatitis,
having to buy new pants,
145
00:05:41,980 --> 00:05:43,556
a brutally painful death,
and not being able
146
00:05:43,559 --> 00:05:45,226
to play Santa at Christmas.
Othinquic!
147
00:05:45,230 --> 00:05:46,413
? Oh, oh, oh. ?
148
00:05:46,567 --> 00:05:49,510
Okay, I have to address
the elephant in the room,
149
00:05:49,591 --> 00:05:51,424
by which I mean Homer.
150
00:05:51,579 --> 00:05:53,689
How come you're not
on that stuff, dumbo?
151
00:05:53,693 --> 00:05:55,767
Because it makes you
stop eating.
152
00:05:55,847 --> 00:05:57,439
And eating is natural.
153
00:05:57,444 --> 00:05:59,110
Body positivity.
154
00:05:59,264 --> 00:06:02,115
Yes, I'm positive you look
like a talking beach ball.
155
00:06:02,196 --> 00:06:04,772
Listen, boy,
I would only go on medication
156
00:06:04,794 --> 00:06:06,611
if a doctor told me to.
157
00:06:06,616 --> 00:06:08,558
And I don't see doctors.
158
00:06:08,712 --> 00:06:10,788
Always telling me to do stuff.
159
00:06:10,809 --> 00:06:13,569
Hey, at least I'll never
lose you in a crowd. [laughs]
160
00:06:13,650 --> 00:06:15,891
Bart, enough
with the fat-shaming.
161
00:06:15,973 --> 00:06:18,974
I love Dad however he looks,
and Mom does, too.
162
00:06:18,980 --> 00:06:20,162
Right, Mom?
163
00:06:20,241 --> 00:06:22,483
Um...
164
00:06:22,488 --> 00:06:24,171
Right, Marge?
165
00:06:24,251 --> 00:06:25,492
[Marge]
Hmm.
166
00:06:25,496 --> 00:06:27,271
Uh...
167
00:06:27,350 --> 00:06:29,591
Well, I support you, Dad.
168
00:06:29,673 --> 00:06:32,674
I'm proud of you
for not giving in to Big Pharma.
169
00:06:32,697 --> 00:06:36,106
The only thing I'm giving
into is big "parma."
170
00:06:36,130 --> 00:06:37,705
At Luigi's.
171
00:06:37,708 --> 00:06:39,784
-Woo-hoo! All right! [laughs]
-Yay, Dad!
172
00:06:39,789 --> 00:06:41,364
[Homer chuckles]
173
00:06:41,368 --> 00:06:43,686
[Luigi]
Hmm. Mm-hmm.
174
00:06:45,044 --> 00:06:46,877
[wind blowing]
175
00:06:46,898 --> 00:06:49,049
Mama, we got a reservation!
176
00:06:49,070 --> 00:06:50,403
I can't a-cook.
177
00:06:50,482 --> 00:06:52,724
I got-a the SoulCycle.
178
00:06:52,728 --> 00:06:53,746
-[Homer] Woo-hoo!
-[car door closes]
179
00:06:53,749 --> 00:06:54,799
[tires screeching]
180
00:06:54,902 --> 00:06:56,176
What's wrong, Marge?
181
00:06:56,330 --> 00:06:59,682
Upset that you're going
to be the only woman in town
182
00:06:59,764 --> 00:07:02,189
stuck with an overweight hubby?
183
00:07:02,269 --> 00:07:04,511
What?! No, of course not.
184
00:07:04,592 --> 00:07:05,992
Am I?
185
00:07:09,621 --> 00:07:11,880
-Ow!
-You love Homer, I get it.
186
00:07:11,885 --> 00:07:14,610
But obesity is
a major health risk.
187
00:07:14,634 --> 00:07:16,951
I should know, I'm in medicine.
188
00:07:16,956 --> 00:07:19,548
Actually, you are medicine.
189
00:07:19,629 --> 00:07:20,812
Good one, yeah.
190
00:07:20,890 --> 00:07:22,908
So maybe you do want him
to change.
191
00:07:22,987 --> 00:07:25,988
Wouldn't it be hotter
if he looked like this?
192
00:07:26,069 --> 00:07:27,735
Ooh.
193
00:07:27,758 --> 00:07:29,482
Something for both of you.
194
00:07:29,486 --> 00:07:31,929
A six-pack and a washboard.
195
00:07:32,009 --> 00:07:33,267
[laughs]
196
00:07:33,346 --> 00:07:37,498
Or you could just let things go
as they are and...
197
00:07:37,506 --> 00:07:40,190
?
198
00:07:40,196 --> 00:07:41,287
[gasps]
199
00:07:41,441 --> 00:07:42,833
Yeah.
200
00:07:45,086 --> 00:07:47,026
[gasps]
201
00:07:47,030 --> 00:07:48,713
Homer, Homer, wake up!
202
00:07:48,792 --> 00:07:50,143
I need you.
203
00:07:50,221 --> 00:07:51,462
For snuggling?
204
00:07:51,541 --> 00:07:53,041
Talking, talking.
205
00:07:53,045 --> 00:07:55,320
Oh, uh, that's just as good.
206
00:07:55,475 --> 00:07:56,525
Totally.
207
00:07:56,553 --> 00:07:57,828
Please continue.
208
00:07:57,981 --> 00:07:59,072
I've been thinking.
209
00:07:59,151 --> 00:08:01,652
Maybe you should try
to get down to...
210
00:08:01,657 --> 00:08:03,657
fun size again.
211
00:08:03,679 --> 00:08:05,904
But I thought you loved me
for who I am.
212
00:08:05,910 --> 00:08:08,001
I do, but I want you to see
213
00:08:08,082 --> 00:08:10,098
Lisa graduate from college.
214
00:08:10,178 --> 00:08:13,438
And see Bart get
a good deal on a used car.
215
00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:16,263
Please take the medicine.
216
00:08:16,285 --> 00:08:17,935
Okay, okay, I'll do it.
217
00:08:17,939 --> 00:08:19,622
Oh, thank you, thank you.
218
00:08:19,702 --> 00:08:22,220
Now it's snuggling time.
219
00:08:22,224 --> 00:08:24,743
-[Homer and Marge moaning]
-[groans]
220
00:08:24,748 --> 00:08:27,190
[retches] I hate having eyes
that can't blink.
221
00:08:31,806 --> 00:08:34,156
Oh, I tried everything
to lose weight.
222
00:08:34,161 --> 00:08:36,814
I hired personal chefs,
consulted the best doctors,
223
00:08:36,819 --> 00:08:38,761
as well as Dr. Phil
and Dr. Oz.
224
00:08:38,766 --> 00:08:41,842
I even bought
a weight loss company.
225
00:08:41,998 --> 00:08:43,681
You know, normal people stuff.
226
00:08:43,686 --> 00:08:45,761
But nothing worked
227
00:08:45,841 --> 00:08:48,784
until I got on Othinquic.
228
00:08:48,790 --> 00:08:51,015
And now check this out.
229
00:08:51,021 --> 00:08:53,797
-[audience cheering]
-I'm as thin as I was
230
00:08:53,878 --> 00:08:56,862
on the night my boyfriend
Steadfast proposed.
231
00:08:56,868 --> 00:08:59,052
But this is permanent...
232
00:08:59,131 --> 00:09:00,815
unless the drug stops working.
233
00:09:00,969 --> 00:09:02,969
Which you better hope
it doesn't,
234
00:09:03,050 --> 00:09:06,051
because you're all going on it.
235
00:09:06,058 --> 00:09:07,724
Look under your seats!
236
00:09:07,728 --> 00:09:10,171
[cheering, clamoring]
237
00:09:11,404 --> 00:09:15,181
You get a waistline.
You get a waistline.
238
00:09:15,263 --> 00:09:17,433
Oh, I'm so generous
that it doesn't matter
239
00:09:17,510 --> 00:09:19,085
that I'm not humble.
240
00:09:19,090 --> 00:09:22,516
And remember,
only read books I like.
241
00:09:22,599 --> 00:09:24,189
That drug is a miracle.
242
00:09:24,211 --> 00:09:26,527
So when did you two go on it?
243
00:09:26,533 --> 00:09:28,275
Uh... we didn't.
244
00:09:28,279 --> 00:09:31,705
We lost this weight by exercise
and eating in moderation.
245
00:09:31,787 --> 00:09:33,062
Right, moderation.
246
00:09:33,141 --> 00:09:34,790
Also, we quit smoking.
247
00:09:34,795 --> 00:09:36,887
That helps people lose
weight, right?
248
00:09:36,967 --> 00:09:38,909
No, actually-
249
00:09:38,989 --> 00:09:41,489
Besides, our fianc�s love it.
250
00:09:41,494 --> 00:09:42,752
-Eh?
-[Patty] Eh.
251
00:09:42,756 --> 00:09:43,980
Fianc�s?
252
00:09:44,001 --> 00:09:45,426
You're getting married?
253
00:09:45,504 --> 00:09:47,321
Yep. To people from work.
254
00:09:47,326 --> 00:09:48,946
Never interested in them before.
255
00:09:49,014 --> 00:09:51,347
Because they were chubbos.
256
00:09:51,427 --> 00:09:53,352
And how did they lose weight?
257
00:09:53,357 --> 00:09:55,024
Eating in moderation.
258
00:09:55,028 --> 00:09:57,028
Well, even if they did
take that drug,
259
00:09:57,033 --> 00:09:59,274
I don't think
they need to be ashamed.
260
00:09:59,298 --> 00:10:02,782
Homer's seeing the doctor
about getting on it right now.
261
00:10:02,864 --> 00:10:04,956
Homer?
Huh, they better find a needle
262
00:10:04,961 --> 00:10:07,461
strong enough
to get through hippo hide.
263
00:10:07,466 --> 00:10:10,061
I'm sorry you don't have
a husband with the willpower
264
00:10:10,065 --> 00:10:12,991
to lose weight naturally,
like us.
265
00:10:13,073 --> 00:10:14,906
Yeah, by the way, Marge,
266
00:10:14,986 --> 00:10:17,729
can we each borrow $900 a month?
267
00:10:17,735 --> 00:10:18,875
It's for, um...
268
00:10:18,953 --> 00:10:20,661
uh... vegetables.
269
00:10:20,742 --> 00:10:22,016
And yoga pants.
270
00:10:22,095 --> 00:10:24,929
If we miss
one dose of yoga pants,
271
00:10:25,010 --> 00:10:27,435
we balloon right back up.
272
00:10:27,441 --> 00:10:28,533
-Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.
273
00:10:30,950 --> 00:10:32,600
$900 a month?
274
00:10:32,604 --> 00:10:33,878
Why is it so expensive?
275
00:10:33,881 --> 00:10:35,532
Health insurance
stopped covering it,
276
00:10:35,536 --> 00:10:37,296
and the pharmacies are
out of stock.
277
00:10:37,299 --> 00:10:39,784
Their first priority are
the people who need it the most.
278
00:10:39,789 --> 00:10:41,289
The people who are
actually sick?
279
00:10:41,292 --> 00:10:43,550
No, A-list Hollywood stars.
280
00:10:43,573 --> 00:10:45,814
It's their most difficult
time of the year.
281
00:10:45,895 --> 00:10:47,136
Awards season.
282
00:10:47,140 --> 00:10:48,748
So where did you get yours?
283
00:10:48,827 --> 00:10:49,993
Oh, oh, I'm not on it.
284
00:10:49,997 --> 00:10:51,589
I-I lost this weight naturally.
285
00:10:51,667 --> 00:10:55,336
As a doctor, I know the value
of diet and exercise.
286
00:10:55,343 --> 00:10:57,086
You've been a doctor
for 20 years.
287
00:10:57,089 --> 00:10:58,665
Why didn't you
lose weight before?
288
00:10:58,668 --> 00:10:59,942
[laughs]
289
00:11:00,021 --> 00:11:01,595
Get out.
290
00:11:01,676 --> 00:11:04,160
[townspeople groaning]
291
00:11:12,143 --> 00:11:13,884
Do you have Othinquic?
292
00:11:13,889 --> 00:11:16,464
No, just Sudafed, NyQuil,
293
00:11:16,488 --> 00:11:19,563
and one of the hardest things of
all to get out of a drugstore:
294
00:11:19,644 --> 00:11:20,994
razor blades.
295
00:11:21,115 --> 00:11:23,582
-[laughs]
-[sighs]
296
00:11:24,657 --> 00:11:26,217
I've, uh, heard you're looking
297
00:11:26,327 --> 00:11:28,845
for a certain
weight-loss vaccine.
298
00:11:28,926 --> 00:11:30,017
You got cash?
299
00:11:30,095 --> 00:11:31,335
Does anyone anymore?
300
00:11:31,415 --> 00:11:33,265
Not to worry, we take the Venmo.
301
00:11:33,344 --> 00:11:35,696
And occasionally the Zelle.
302
00:11:35,776 --> 00:11:37,276
But never the Cash App.
303
00:11:37,354 --> 00:11:39,947
They offer the Bitcoin
but not the Ethereum.
304
00:11:40,103 --> 00:11:42,513
How am I supposed to arbitrage
between the two?
305
00:11:42,534 --> 00:11:43,718
Forget about it!
306
00:11:43,796 --> 00:11:44,846
Hmm.
307
00:11:48,290 --> 00:11:51,308
Here you go.
Pure, uncut Othinquic.
308
00:11:51,389 --> 00:11:54,466
Guaranteed to reduce
the labonza.
309
00:11:54,472 --> 00:11:57,974
It's the anti-antipasto.
310
00:11:57,981 --> 00:11:59,404
Where did you get this?
311
00:11:59,408 --> 00:12:02,835
Let's just say
a truck lost a little weight
312
00:12:02,842 --> 00:12:05,435
passing through Springfield.
313
00:12:05,440 --> 00:12:07,258
Wait a minute,
I thought you don't get high
314
00:12:07,262 --> 00:12:09,095
on your own supply.
315
00:12:09,175 --> 00:12:12,010
I personally lost this weight
316
00:12:12,016 --> 00:12:14,699
through diet and exercise.
317
00:12:14,780 --> 00:12:16,280
Even you lie about it?
318
00:12:16,301 --> 00:12:19,210
If you can't trust godfathers,
who can you trust?
319
00:12:19,291 --> 00:12:20,957
I don't cheat on diets.
320
00:12:21,038 --> 00:12:23,647
I would never cheat on anything,
321
00:12:23,727 --> 00:12:25,778
except my wife.
322
00:12:28,314 --> 00:12:32,149
? Weight-loss drug ?
323
00:12:32,156 --> 00:12:36,567
? Drop a size without exercise ?
324
00:12:36,576 --> 00:12:40,094
? When I put
a spike into my leg ?
325
00:12:40,176 --> 00:12:43,436
? I get full from just one egg ?
326
00:12:43,517 --> 00:12:48,020
? Eating hot dogs with no bun ?
327
00:12:48,105 --> 00:12:51,506
? Half a sandwich and I'm done ?
328
00:12:53,618 --> 00:12:56,561
? And I eat
but I just don't gorge ?
329
00:12:56,642 --> 00:13:01,144
? I can see my feet
'cause I just don't gorge. ?
330
00:13:01,228 --> 00:13:02,411
[sighs]
331
00:13:02,564 --> 00:13:04,990
What happened to these people?
332
00:13:05,070 --> 00:13:07,813
They look fabulous, right?
333
00:13:07,820 --> 00:13:08,986
They look sad.
334
00:13:08,988 --> 00:13:10,339
Maybe it's all that loose skin
335
00:13:10,342 --> 00:13:12,434
sagging from their faces.
336
00:13:12,588 --> 00:13:16,499
Hey, getting Othinquic face is
one of the few negative effects.
337
00:13:16,524 --> 00:13:19,784
And you can always fix that
with injections of body fat.
338
00:13:19,940 --> 00:13:22,366
Trust me, I'm a wonder drug.
339
00:13:22,522 --> 00:13:25,023
The more I see,
the more I wonder.
340
00:13:25,045 --> 00:13:26,136
Okay, boomer.
341
00:13:26,214 --> 00:13:28,640
Look, weight loss is healthy.
342
00:13:28,721 --> 00:13:30,053
No matter how.
343
00:13:30,132 --> 00:13:32,891
We've done a lot of research.
344
00:13:32,972 --> 00:13:34,138
On safety?
345
00:13:34,159 --> 00:13:35,233
On profits.
346
00:13:35,312 --> 00:13:38,388
The profits are 100% safe.
347
00:13:38,394 --> 00:13:41,004
And we'll find out the dangers
sooner or later.
348
00:13:41,084 --> 00:13:43,084
After everyone's already on it?
349
00:13:43,164 --> 00:13:45,807
Including my husband?
350
00:13:47,934 --> 00:13:51,419
Exactly. The most enormous
beta test of all time.
351
00:13:51,426 --> 00:13:53,927
And you lab rats are paying us
to be in it.
352
00:13:53,949 --> 00:13:56,042
Patetiske taber.
353
00:13:56,121 --> 00:13:58,622
Which means "suckers."
354
00:13:58,778 --> 00:14:00,720
Homer!
355
00:14:02,621 --> 00:14:05,622
Dad, are you sure
you want to do this?
356
00:14:05,628 --> 00:14:09,346
As sure as I was that I didn't
want to do it yesterday.
357
00:14:09,504 --> 00:14:12,414
In that case, I support you,
but just barely.
358
00:14:12,570 --> 00:14:14,587
That's what Dad's chair says.
359
00:14:14,741 --> 00:14:16,092
Oh, man.
360
00:14:16,171 --> 00:14:18,413
I'm gonna miss making fat jokes.
361
00:14:18,493 --> 00:14:20,268
You'll still have bald jokes.
362
00:14:20,348 --> 00:14:22,315
It's not the same.
363
00:14:23,339 --> 00:14:24,838
Goodbye, my love handles.
364
00:14:24,842 --> 00:14:26,933
You'll be in heaven
with my back fat,
365
00:14:27,014 --> 00:14:28,513
my triple chin, and my...
366
00:14:28,518 --> 00:14:30,443
[sobs] finger chub.
367
00:14:30,523 --> 00:14:32,857
Stop, Homer! Stop!
368
00:14:32,879 --> 00:14:34,044
Huh?
369
00:14:34,048 --> 00:14:36,141
No, no, no, no, no, no, no!
370
00:14:36,146 --> 00:14:37,346
You're throwing it out?
371
00:14:37,465 --> 00:14:38,890
But you wanted me to take it.
372
00:14:38,968 --> 00:14:40,018
I was wrong.
373
00:14:40,063 --> 00:14:41,546
I know it's the hot new trend,
374
00:14:41,567 --> 00:14:44,067
but so were fanny packs,
tramp stamps,
375
00:14:44,224 --> 00:14:46,057
and Teslas.
376
00:14:46,061 --> 00:14:47,227
[Homer groans]
377
00:14:47,230 --> 00:14:49,156
I usually cover this
with my fanny pack.
378
00:14:49,160 --> 00:14:52,013
But I thought you were worried
about us growing old together.
379
00:14:52,018 --> 00:14:53,759
Of course I want that.
380
00:14:53,763 --> 00:14:56,599
But what's even more important
is that you're here with us
381
00:14:56,604 --> 00:15:00,364
right now
and we can move on safely.
382
00:15:01,266 --> 00:15:02,466
Hey, what are you doing?
383
00:15:02,526 --> 00:15:05,769
Homer, as the only
overweight man left in town,
384
00:15:05,776 --> 00:15:08,961
you have something
that we desperately need.
385
00:15:08,968 --> 00:15:11,393
You're kidnapping my husband?
386
00:15:11,474 --> 00:15:13,291
Think of it as a side effect
387
00:15:13,295 --> 00:15:16,071
of not taking weight-loss drugs.
388
00:15:16,226 --> 00:15:17,451
Andiamo.
389
00:15:18,308 --> 00:15:19,657
No, no, no, no!
390
00:15:19,736 --> 00:15:21,419
He's too fat to fit in the car.
391
00:15:21,498 --> 00:15:23,348
Put him in the trunk.
392
00:15:23,353 --> 00:15:26,004
He's too fat
to fit in the trunk.
393
00:15:26,160 --> 00:15:27,917
Lash him to the roof.
394
00:15:27,998 --> 00:15:29,940
Uh, we're gonna need more rope.
395
00:15:30,020 --> 00:15:33,571
[shouting in Italian]
396
00:15:36,869 --> 00:15:39,188
[Homer mutters sleepily]
397
00:15:39,192 --> 00:15:40,192
Ooh, pork chops.
398
00:15:40,195 --> 00:15:41,361
Aah, Fat Tony!
399
00:15:41,380 --> 00:15:42,954
Ooh, pork chops.
400
00:15:43,035 --> 00:15:45,552
We need your fat
to fill in our faces.
401
00:15:45,633 --> 00:15:48,523
So we can look eternally young
like the Real Housewives,
402
00:15:48,565 --> 00:15:50,065
who don't look real
403
00:15:50,143 --> 00:15:53,236
and spend all their time
outside of the house.
404
00:15:53,318 --> 00:15:55,394
Now eat. Mangia.
405
00:15:55,415 --> 00:15:58,233
What you said makes me
almost not want to eat.
406
00:15:58,239 --> 00:16:00,255
The police are gonna be furious.
407
00:16:00,411 --> 00:16:01,760
Actually, uh, no we're not.
408
00:16:01,763 --> 00:16:02,931
Come on, swallow.
409
00:16:02,934 --> 00:16:05,175
Can't wait to get
your ass in my face.
410
00:16:05,256 --> 00:16:06,847
You monster! [swallows]
411
00:16:06,927 --> 00:16:08,797
Wait till the mayor
hears about this.
412
00:16:08,857 --> 00:16:10,374
Oh, believe me, I know.
413
00:16:10,452 --> 00:16:12,694
Slim Tony and I are in cahoots.
414
00:16:12,716 --> 00:16:15,366
The mayor in league
with the mob?
415
00:16:15,371 --> 00:16:17,132
I'm happy to reach
across the aisle,
416
00:16:17,136 --> 00:16:19,302
as long as it's not
with the members
417
00:16:19,382 --> 00:16:21,048
of another political party.
418
00:16:21,128 --> 00:16:22,403
[tires screech]
419
00:16:22,481 --> 00:16:24,389
[Marge]
Give me back my husband!
420
00:16:24,412 --> 00:16:26,912
[all shouting, clamoring]
421
00:16:26,918 --> 00:16:28,643
Look who's here-
422
00:16:28,647 --> 00:16:31,648
Little Miss Thin without Having
to Take Drugs.
423
00:16:31,655 --> 00:16:33,263
Which none of us take.
424
00:16:34,753 --> 00:16:38,180
You're just jealous because
we're more beautiful than you.
425
00:16:38,262 --> 00:16:40,188
[shouting]
426
00:16:41,195 --> 00:16:44,196
Now, out of the way,
because for the first time ever,
427
00:16:44,276 --> 00:16:46,519
we want your husband.
428
00:16:46,525 --> 00:16:49,025
Well, I'm taking
my husband back.
429
00:16:49,030 --> 00:16:50,472
You and what army?
430
00:16:50,476 --> 00:16:52,625
[Luigi]
This-a army!
431
00:16:52,707 --> 00:16:54,297
[tires screeching]
432
00:16:54,301 --> 00:16:56,544
We are the true victims
of Ozempic-
433
00:16:56,549 --> 00:16:58,657
I mean, eh, eh, Othinquic.
434
00:16:58,738 --> 00:17:01,723
The hard working a-people
who make-a your food.
435
00:17:01,728 --> 00:17:03,079
And who pour your damn drinks.
436
00:17:03,082 --> 00:17:06,083
You think you could operate
a beer tap by yourself?
437
00:17:06,089 --> 00:17:07,347
Yes, you could.
438
00:17:07,425 --> 00:17:09,834
So, uh,
where am I going with this?
439
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:12,249
These-a drugs don't-a
just stop your eating.
440
00:17:12,254 --> 00:17:15,105
They stop-a
all of your compulsive behavior.
441
00:17:15,262 --> 00:17:18,187
And compulsive behavior
is-a the only reason
442
00:17:18,269 --> 00:17:19,785
anybody eats-a spaghetti.
443
00:17:19,864 --> 00:17:22,531
It's-a like worms
with less-a nutrients.
444
00:17:22,613 --> 00:17:23,795
Hypocrito.
445
00:17:23,874 --> 00:17:25,744
Criticizing us
when you're clearly
446
00:17:25,788 --> 00:17:27,712
riding the O-train yourself.
447
00:17:27,793 --> 00:17:30,493
I'm-a not-a taking the drugs.
448
00:17:30,499 --> 00:17:34,151
Yeah, we know:
"Diet and exercise."
449
00:17:34,158 --> 00:17:36,658
No! I lost-a weight legitimately
450
00:17:36,739 --> 00:17:38,497
from-a severe depression.
451
00:17:38,653 --> 00:17:40,820
You, you're-a ruining my life.
452
00:17:40,841 --> 00:17:43,767
[both shouting in Italian]
453
00:17:47,783 --> 00:17:50,359
Homer, they took your tuchus!
454
00:17:50,515 --> 00:17:51,772
[screams]
455
00:17:51,776 --> 00:17:53,368
You can't leave me like this.
456
00:17:53,372 --> 00:17:55,357
I'm like the Batman villain
Two-Face,
457
00:17:55,360 --> 00:17:58,044
beautiful on one side
and hideous on the other.
458
00:17:58,125 --> 00:17:59,232
Uh...
459
00:17:59,236 --> 00:18:01,128
Which is
the beautiful side again?
460
00:18:01,208 --> 00:18:04,634
Here's a thought: maybe you can
all stop taking the drug.
461
00:18:04,640 --> 00:18:06,326
If I knew the meaning
of the word "stop,"
462
00:18:06,329 --> 00:18:08,663
I would not be taking it. Der.
463
00:18:08,743 --> 00:18:10,243
Look at your faces.
464
00:18:10,247 --> 00:18:11,730
Mm...
465
00:18:11,734 --> 00:18:12,784
Let me try.
466
00:18:12,828 --> 00:18:15,571
I've had more experience
addressing mobs.
467
00:18:15,577 --> 00:18:17,185
?
468
00:18:18,768 --> 00:18:21,419
I am the last fat man
in Springfield.
469
00:18:21,425 --> 00:18:23,183
And while I can't see my feet,
470
00:18:23,204 --> 00:18:25,429
I can see something else.
471
00:18:25,434 --> 00:18:28,285
You are all unhappy.
472
00:18:28,292 --> 00:18:30,884
-Love people for
what's inside... -Mm-hmm.
473
00:18:30,889 --> 00:18:33,706
...lots of delicious food.
474
00:18:33,731 --> 00:18:36,623
And admire the ingenuity
of the American chemist,
475
00:18:36,628 --> 00:18:39,130
who has designed potato chips
that make you hungrier,
476
00:18:39,134 --> 00:18:41,059
sodas that makes you thirstier,
477
00:18:41,063 --> 00:18:44,116
all-you-can-eat restaurants that
make you never feel full again.
478
00:18:44,122 --> 00:18:47,758
We sit eating food,
watching TV about food,
479
00:18:47,839 --> 00:18:49,506
with commercials
480
00:18:49,585 --> 00:18:51,177
for more food!
481
00:18:51,256 --> 00:18:54,423
[all chanting]
Food-S-A! Food-S-A!
482
00:18:54,448 --> 00:18:58,266
Gol'darnit! Replace the word
"America" with the word "Texas,"
483
00:18:58,274 --> 00:19:00,941
and I agree
with everything you said.
484
00:19:00,946 --> 00:19:02,946
[all cheering, clamoring]
485
00:19:03,027 --> 00:19:04,635
I'm getting off this stuff.
486
00:19:04,714 --> 00:19:06,807
And back on statins,
antidepressants,
487
00:19:06,812 --> 00:19:09,395
mood elevators,
and useless vitamins.
488
00:19:10,822 --> 00:19:13,322
Is my old table available?
489
00:19:13,477 --> 00:19:15,236
Yes-a, yes and the gun
490
00:19:15,240 --> 00:19:17,648
is still-a
behind-a the toilet for you.
491
00:19:17,672 --> 00:19:19,487
[speaking Italian]
492
00:19:19,492 --> 00:19:21,260
Is a happy end.
493
00:19:23,700 --> 00:19:27,523
Patty and Selma
gained back the weight
494
00:19:27,529 --> 00:19:29,362
and lost the fianc�s.
495
00:19:29,442 --> 00:19:32,851
They're doing a group sologamy
celebration instead.
496
00:19:32,934 --> 00:19:35,192
Salami celebration, what's that?
497
00:19:35,215 --> 00:19:37,790
It's when a person
marries themselves,
498
00:19:37,870 --> 00:19:40,279
but there'll be two of them
doing it together.
499
00:19:40,285 --> 00:19:41,727
But not to be together.
500
00:19:41,805 --> 00:19:43,546
Even though they live together.
501
00:19:43,569 --> 00:19:44,793
Good night, sweetheart.
502
00:19:44,797 --> 00:19:45,946
Mwah.
503
00:19:51,756 --> 00:19:54,072
So what are you going to wear?
504
00:19:54,153 --> 00:19:56,653
That strapless black dress,
right?
505
00:19:56,659 --> 00:19:58,768
Well, it's from
before I had kids.
506
00:19:58,773 --> 00:20:00,773
I doubt it still fits.
507
00:20:00,778 --> 00:20:03,445
The ceremony is still
a month away.
508
00:20:03,526 --> 00:20:07,102
And I'm exactly
a month's supply.
509
00:20:07,185 --> 00:20:10,610
After everything I've seen,
why should I trust you?
510
00:20:10,694 --> 00:20:12,135
It's just a month.
511
00:20:12,289 --> 00:20:13,697
One and done.
512
00:20:13,701 --> 00:20:16,978
Hmm, I would love
to wear that dress.
513
00:20:19,306 --> 00:20:20,972
Whoa, ooh.
514
00:20:20,977 --> 00:20:23,120
I feel a little nauseous.
515
00:20:23,984 --> 00:20:25,817
Why is everything black?
516
00:20:25,898 --> 00:20:27,247
Did I lose my vision?
517
00:20:27,250 --> 00:20:28,993
[syringe] Blindness is
a side effect, but that's
518
00:20:28,996 --> 00:20:30,571
only three percent of cases.
519
00:20:30,576 --> 00:20:33,502
? Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic. ?
520
00:20:33,507 --> 00:20:35,675
Captioning sponsored by
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521
00:20:35,679 --> 00:20:37,606
and
FOX BROADCASTING COMPANY
522
00:20:37,610 --> 00:20:39,185
and TOYOTA.
523
00:20:39,188 --> 00:20:43,698
Captioned by Media
Access Group at WGBH access.wgbh.org
524
00:20:45,279 --> 00:20:47,220
? Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic ?
525
00:20:47,375 --> 00:20:49,284
? You know ?
526
00:20:49,289 --> 00:20:52,047
? You might lose your big toe ?
527
00:20:52,071 --> 00:20:57,299
? Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic,
beware ?
528
00:20:57,309 --> 00:20:59,584
? You might lose all your hair ?
529
00:20:59,664 --> 00:21:02,832
? Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic ?
530
00:21:02,913 --> 00:21:05,840
? You cough ?
531
00:21:05,920 --> 00:21:08,163
? Then your kidneys fall off ?
532
00:21:08,169 --> 00:21:10,853
? Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic ?
533
00:21:10,933 --> 00:21:13,284
? You'll die ?
534
00:21:13,439 --> 00:21:15,681
? But you'll be thin,
so don't cry ?
535
00:21:15,687 --> 00:21:18,872
? Oh, oh, oh, Othinquic ?
536
00:21:18,952 --> 00:21:23,931
? You know, oh-oh-oh-oh-oh. ?
537
00:21:24,800 --> 00:21:25,900
Shh.
538
00:21:25,950 --> 00:21:30,500
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