All language subtitles for Mid-Century Modern s01e09 Heres to You, Mrs Schneiderman.eng

[? upbeat jazzy music playing]

Dammit, Mother!
[groaning]

- [phone beeps]
- Voicemail.

She has a sixth sense
for knowing when I need her the most.

Alright, woman, where are they?!

I'm a grown-ass man.
I bought a pack of Fig Newtons.

I should be able to have them
when I want them! Ugh.

Okay, fine. You know what?

Ha, I don't even care.

Hide them all you want... [panting]
because I have money.

I can buy more Fig Newtons.

So, play your twisted little games,

but the jokes on you, crazy lady!

[laughing maniacally]

Call me back when you get this.
I love you.

[Bunny sighs]

Do you have any idea where they are?

Mm.

Arthur?

Let's just say... you're cold.

Please, I'm not playing
some juvenile game.

Warmer.

Colder.

Warmer, warmer.

[Bunny] Seriously?

[Arthur] Warmer.

Boiling hot!

Now, shake it like your rent is due!

You evil, evil queen.

Oh, forgive me.
In response to your earlier question,

no, I don't know where
your Fig Newtons are.

Oh, she hid the Newtons again?

- Yep. Do you know where they--
- Well, fine!

You got it out of me!
She hid them in the salad spinner.

It was our little secret,
you know, just the two of us.

[containers clattering]

[clattering continues]

What are we storing?

We don't even cook!

Ah!

"If you found this, tell Jerry he's weak.

Cute, but weak."

Aw. [chuckles]
She gets me.

[? upbeat music playing]

?

[Arthur]
Perfect timing.

- Did you get the ice?
- Yep.

[water sloshes]

Jerry, do you see
what state this ice is in?

Oh, California.

I sometimes get confused too

'cause it really feels
like it should be Arizona.

And why are you wearing oven mitts?

It's 115 degrees out.
My car is an oven.

Last week, the steering wheel
blistered off three of my fingerprints.

The ID panel on the jetway
didn't recognize me.

I was put on the TSA watch list
until the bubbles went away.

- So, park in the garage.
- No, there's no room.

There's Bunny's car
and Sybil's car.

She never drives anymore.
We should move hers to the street.

Oh, I don't wanna make waves.

I'll take care of this for you.
I'll ask the Bunny

if you can have Sybil's space.

Aw.
You're being so nice.

Is it because you feel bad about taking

- the bigger bedroom?
- No.

Really?
Because everybody's talking about it.

The point is,
I'm going to be your champion

and tell Bunny that you need
Sybil's spot in the garage.

I'm right here,
and that's not gonna happen.

She never uses it.

If I tell my mother she has to move
her car because she never drives,

she'll start driving again
to prove me wrong.

The woman treats stop signs
like they're suggestions.

She's always nagging me to get a license
so I can take her places.

And Jerry, you're exaggerating.

It's not that hot out there.

What?
Yesterday I drove in a Speedo,

and the seat left grill marks
on the back of my thighs.

Car smelled like pork chops.

You are the other white meat.

Where were you coming from
in a Speedo?

Oh, Costco.

And then, the dentist's.

You gotta love Palm Springs.

You just have to tell your mother
that she has to move it

- and give Jerry the space.
- Or you could tell her, Arthur.

It's not my place,
I'm not her son.

It's not my car, it's Jerry's car.

But Arthur's championing me,
and he got the bigger bedroom.

Everybody is talking about that.

Bunny, your mother,
your garage, your problem.

My problem?
I'm not the one

driving around town in oven mitts.

- [phone ringing]
- [Bunny scoffs]

Oh, it's Sybil.
You could ask her now.

Forget it.
This mama's boy will never do it for us.

I am not a mama's boy!

Yes, Mama, it's boy--
I mean, Bunny.

Dammit. What?

Okay, I'll be right there.

Wait, where are the Fig--

She hung up.
She knows what she's doing.

Okay, I'm gonna pick her up

and I will talk to her
about the space.

[birds chirping]

Holy fuckballs!
It's hot out here.

Jerry, mitt me.

?

[? upbeat music playing]

So, Denise and I are working
the L.A. to Chicago,

and guess who walks in and sits in 3A.

I'm not going to guess.

Former Wheel of Fortune host
Pat Sajak.

I asked him where Vanna was,
and he used a two-word phrase

they could never say on the show.

- Guess what he asked for.
- A vowel?

No, Diet 7UP.

But as I was going to get it,
the lady in 2A

asked me to help her find the earbud
that fell into the gap next to her seat.

I looked, but it was just for show.

Arthur, I knew it was gone.

[sighs]

They're always gone.

It's the big mystery
of the airline industry.

Well, that, and how planes
stay in the sky.

Anyway, I'm on my way to the galley
to get the Diet 7UP, and...

[laughing]
This is gonna kill you.

- The wheel on my cart--
- I say stop there.

Keep the story fresh for parties.

Where the hell are those two?
Bunny left almost two hours ago.

Oh, maybe when he brought up
the parking space, she got mad.

Look, I-- I really don't mind
the oven mitts.

I mean, do you think they make
fingerless ones so I can text?

Or does that defeat the purpose?

Not at all.
You can find them at Walgreens,

right next to the mesh condoms.

[front door shuts]

Ah, finally, they're back.

Uh, we're in here!

- What are they doing?
- I don't know. Bun!

Hey, Syb?

Bunny, you okay?

[Bunny breathing heavily]

Sybil died.

What?

She's dead.
My mother's dead.

She was fine.

I pulled up to the club,
she was standing right there.

And when she got in the car, she said,
"I'm not feeling so good."

But she looked okay.

I mean, maybe a little pale.

And I said, "Don't worry.
I'll take you home, you'll lie down.

I'll get you a tea.
You'll be fine."

And then she said, "Okay."

But when I got to the first light,
she said,

"Bunny, I think...

[whimpering]

I think maybe you should
take me to the hospital."

So... I get nervous.

I start driving a little fast,
and she says,

"I love you.
Don't get a ticket."

She said that a few times.
"I love you. Don't get a ticket."

And I said, "I love you, too, Ma.
Are you okay?"

And I noticed she was having
a little trouble breathing,

so I rolled down the window
to give her some air,

and it helped, I think, but then she--

she grabbed my hand
and looked at me and said...

"If I die, I love you."

And I said,
"You're not gonna die, Ma."

[sniffling]
And I start driving really fast.

And I must have been going 90.

And I'm waiting for her to say,
"Don't get a ticket."

But she doesn't say anything.

So, I look over and--
and she... she...

[Bunny sobbing]

I can't believe
what you're telling us.

I can't either.
[sniffling]

I mean, I don't understand.
She was just here.

- I made breakfast for her this morning.
- [Bunny sniffling]

She sent it back and said,
"Tell the chef it sucks."

- What happened?
- It was a heart attack.

That's what they said at the hospital.

They said it was quick
and she didn't feel it,

but it was a heart attack.

Oh, Bunny.

What else did she say?

I know she said something else,
but I-- I can't remember.

Oh, I-- I can't.

[panting] I have too much to do.

Mindy's flying in with the kids.

I have to charge my phone,
I have to call the mortuary. I--

I've gotta cancel her credit cards.

[sighs]
I don't know her passwords.

[sighs] There's a file.

Oh, my God.
I've gotta call her friends.

- There's so much to do.
- You know, we can do some of that.

No, no, I have to.
We only have two days.

[Jerry sighs]

So, what do we do?

Hey, we hug.
[whispering] Come here.

- [Arthur sobbing]
- [whispering] It's okay.

[? melancholy music playing]

[crickets chirping]

[typing]

Hey, Bun.

- We're just checking in on you.
- Have you gotten any sleep?

What?

Well, it doesn't look like
you've gone to bed yet.

Oh. Yeah.
Uh, I didn't have time.

I-- I'm writing her eulogy.

- How's it going?
- Good. Good.

It's not done,
but I think it's coming along.

[sighs]

Here, I-- I'll read you what I got.

"How do you encapsulate in words
the essence of an angel?

"For a brief, all-too-brief time,
one walked among us.

"She embraced life with open arms.

"Never a complaint.
Never an unkind word.

"A woman without judgment,
without criticism.

A heart that only knew love and light."

That's really nice.

Sybil was an amazing woman.

She was.

- [Bunny sighs]
- But who dis?

What do you mean?

"Love and light"?
"Never an unkind word"?

Arthur, he's writing about his mother.

This is about your mother, right?

[scoffs]
I know, I know.

I don't know what the hell I'm doing.

[sighs]
I've been struggling with this all night.

That isn't my mother.

It sounds like something
knitted on a pillow

in Tammy Faye Bakker's house.

- You're being too hard on yourself.
- Yeah, you are.

Just write her
as you remember her.

I can't.

[sobbing]

I can't hear her.

She's only been gone a day
and it's like I have no memory

of what she sounds like.

My whole life,
her voice rang the loudest in my head,

and now it's gone.

[sobbing]
But where did it go?

[sniffles]

Try looking up your ass.

Excuse me?

That's what she texted me
when I asked her

if she knew
where my sunglasses were.

Here it is.

"Dear, Sybil, can't find my sunglasses,

and I suspect you know
where they are."

"Dearest Arthur,
try looking up your ass."

"Dearest Sybil, I checked.

All I found was a nasty attitude.
It was yours."

- [Jerry chuckles softly]
- "Big kiss."

- "Dearest Arthur...
- [Bunny sniffles]

...you're lucky you're cute."

I got one.
[clears throat]

"I know you didn't ask, Jerala,

but this new one
you're bringing home is a dud."

I said, "Why?"

And she wrote back, "I may have gone
through his backpack.

"He had no cash and a roll
of toilet paper, single ply.

You're better than that."

Bunny, read the last one she sent you.

[sighs]
I don't know.

Uh...

Here.

"ICEBERG LETTUCE."

In all caps.

How 'bout the second to last one?

"Fuck that mailman
and his fucking Hitler mustache."

I'll go back a little further.

Oh, here's one.

"Lunch with Judy.

"Bragged about you
opening the 100th store.

It killed her."

Smiley face, winking face...

flag of Nicaragua.

"I'm so proud of you, but I'd be proud
if you were digging ditches."

[softly] Aw.

"What a man...
my little boy has become.

Also, Judy's son wants to know
if you're a top."

She ended every text to me
with, "Lots of love."

Always, "Lots of love."

"I love you, Bunny."

Thanks.

[sighs]
I can hear her now.

[Bunny sighs]

Boys.

Yeah?

[sighs]

I'll take that hug now,
but don't go crazy.

I can only hold it together
for about three seconds.

How many of your dates
have heard that?

Too soon, but hilarious.

Bring it in, bitches.

Okay, that's three.

[Bunny]
I know.

[? melancholy music playing]

?

[Bunny]
Thank you so much for coming.

It would have meant the world
to my mother.

She adored you.
Talked about you all the time.

No idea who that was.

Just another white guy telling me
how much he loves Obama.

Hey, you know what I heard
a lot of tonight from Sybil's friends?

How beautiful your eulogy was.

Also, "Why are the couches so low?"

I thought Mindy
did a nice job on her eulogy, too.

Do ya?

I don't think you do.

No, no, I thought she did a very nice--

I mean, it could have been
a little less "warts and all."

She could have skipped the story
about mom telling her

there's an operation
in China to lengthen her legs.

It was nice to see Mindy's kids.
And how about Sammy?

He looked me right in the eye,
shook my hand and said, "Hello."

It's time. He's 31.

Oi, who puts dirty napkins in a plant?

- Probably the same one who didn't flush.
- [Bunny] Ohh.

That was cousin Ida.
She went through the Depression.

Why that gives her permission not to flush
is anybody's guess.

And what about everyone
saying Sybil's in a better place?

I hate when people say that.

I can't help
but take it personally.

What's better than this place?

I guarantee, God did not pay
this much per square foot.

Oh, come on.
Nobody knows what to say at these things.

They're just trying to show their love.

Oh, speaking of God,
that reminds me.

- Is he going to pray?
- Either that or flush something.

There were a lot
of Depression babies here.

You know what kills me?

In Sybil's last moment on Earth,
I was thinking about her parking space.

Don't do that to yourself.

We didn't know.

You should take her space now.
She'd want that.

Oh, no, no.
That would feel wrong.

I mean, Sybil's spot is sacred.
I-- I could never park my car there.

- Jerry, I have something for you.
- Oh, hell no!

Jerry is not getting the Birkin.

That hair, that face?
She's been given enough.

The hospital gave me back
her belongings.

She was wearing this.

The St. Raphael medallion I gave her.

I thought she hated it.

She did. But she loved you.

[chuckling] Thank you.

Nobody's ever gonna call me
Jerala again.

I will, Jerala.

[kisses]

[Jerry sniffles]

- And for Arthur--
- Birkin bag! Birkin bag!

Oh! Sorry, lady.

In the Jewish faith, the Birkin bag

is traditionally bequeathed
to the eldest son.

Take her car.

You said it yourself,
she wanted you to learn to drive.

I will.

Thank you.

And to honor her memory,
I will never signal,

and I will always
drift into other lanes...

while applying my lipstick.

That would mean everything to her.

Hey, wait, now that it's your car,
can I have the garage?

No way.
You said yourself that space was sacred.

Well, when it was Sybil's car.
Now, it's yours.

You could park in the street.

Oh, so now it's fine for me to be
in the boiling sun because I'm Black?

What?!

No!
Is-- is that what I said?

No, no, take the garage.
I insist.

Thank you, Jerry.

Works every time.

Nice medallion.

I got a car.

- I'm happy for you.
- You ruin everything.

Everybody's talking about it.

[sighs]
She really loved this last year

with all of us together.

Thank you for giving her that, and me.

I can't imagine saying goodbye
to the last guest

and then being here all alone.

You never have to worry about that.

Never.

[sighs]
Should we leave the rest for tomorrow?

Not finish cleaning?
What are we, straight people?

Your girlfriend
gonna clean up after us, bro?

No, so we have something
to do tomorrow.

I mean,
once this is all done, then what?

What do we do next?

The one person who had no problem
telling us what to do...

is gone.

She did tell us.

I finally remembered
what else she said in the car.

Right before I opened the window,

she said, "Live your life."

She looked right at me and said...

"Live your life."

That's beautiful.

You should have given that
to Mindy to say.

It's a nicer story
than the one about her mother

not buying her the good shampoo.

So, we finish cleaning up tonight,

and start living tomorrow.

I'm gonna lock this up
before a thief

or Arthur tries to steal it.

Oh, who left food on the piano?

Oh.

We didn't serve shawarma.

Who Postmates to a shiva?

[plate clanking]

This was my mother's prized possession.

She sat at this piano
every afternoon for 50 years.

Oh, wow.

The last song she played.

[Bunny sighs]

[Bunny sniffling]

[Bunny sighs]

I hope you can see this, Mom.

She always nagged me to practice.

[? gentle piano music playing]

? We'll meet again ?

? Don't know where,
don't know when ?

? But I know we'll meet again ?

? Some sunny day ?

[all singing]
? Keep smiling through ?

? Just like you always do ?

? Till the blue skies
drive the dark clouds ?

? Far away ?

? So won't-- ?

[? piano key clinking]

Huh!
[sniffling]

[package rustling]

[gasps]

Your Fig Newtons.

"Bun, if you found this,
you're practicing.

Good for you, my beautiful son.
Enjoy the cookies."

[Arthur chuckles softly]

[package rustling]

"Just two."

[Sybil] [singing] ? So won't you please
say hello to the folks that I know ?

? Tell them I'll be there at erelong ?

? They'll be happy to know
that as you saw me go ?

? I was singing this song ?

? We'll meet again ?

? Don't where,
don't know when ?

? But I know we'll meet again ?

? Some sunny day ?

[? gentle piano music
continues playing]

[? music fades out]

[? gentle piano playing
"We'll Meet Again"]

[? song ends]

[voice]
Let me talk to the boys.

[? fanfare playing]

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