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1
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:44,909
Oh, excuse me. I've just
been draining a kidney.
2
00:01:44,910 --> 00:01:46,679
You're Mr Parkway, I take it?
3
00:01:46,680 --> 00:01:49,039
Er, Dr Parkway, yes.
4
00:01:49,040 --> 00:01:50,829
You must be Mr Wilson?
5
00:01:50,830 --> 00:01:53,810
Oh, call me Dick. Everyone does.
6
00:01:55,090 --> 00:01:57,409
So have you ever
been champing before?
7
00:01:57,410 --> 00:01:58,559
Sorry?
8
00:01:58,560 --> 00:02:01,269
Champing - camping in a
church. That's what we call it.
9
00:02:01,270 --> 00:02:03,599
Though it does have unfortunate
connotations of someone
10
00:02:03,600 --> 00:02:05,559
eating with their mouth full.
11
00:02:05,560 --> 00:02:07,599
Ah, no, I haven't, actually.
12
00:02:07,600 --> 00:02:10,699
My wife booked this as a Christmas
present, but sadly, sh...
13
00:02:10,724 --> 00:02:14,599
As I'm sure you're aware, it
costs a pretty penny to preserve
14
00:02:14,600 --> 00:02:18,409
these old buildings, and champing
is our biggest money-spinner.
15
00:02:18,410 --> 00:02:23,497
We let them all in, every
creed, faith, culture -
16
00:02:23,522 --> 00:02:27,037
as long as they pay
their overnight fees.
17
00:02:27,470 --> 00:02:29,889
Speaking of which...?
18
00:02:29,890 --> 00:02:33,519
Oh, yes, sorry. I only
have a card, I'm afraid.
19
00:02:33,520 --> 00:02:35,479
I've got my swiper.
20
00:02:37,680 --> 00:02:40,479
As you see, I've set
up your bed here.
21
00:02:40,480 --> 00:02:44,079
Some churches put a full-size
Queen Anne in the transept,
22
00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,399
but speaking personally, I
don't think it's in fitting.
23
00:02:46,400 --> 00:02:49,969
I said to Canon Berry man, I
said, "We're not an Airbnb."
24
00:02:49,970 --> 00:02:53,759
"No, Dick", he said,
"we're a Prayer C of E!"
25
00:02:55,890 --> 00:02:59,599
85 and sharp as a blade.
26
00:02:59,600 --> 00:03:03,629
Many's the time I've seen
him do a Wordle in two.
27
00:03:03,630 --> 00:03:07,950
Ah, yes, um, I set up a
little lounge for you here,
28
00:03:07,975 --> 00:03:10,399
with some literature on
the history of the place.
29
00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:13,479
Fascinating. Did you know
that in the 15th century...?
30
00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:16,799
Uh, can I ask, um, do you
spend the night here also,
31
00:03:16,800 --> 00:03:19,250
or will you eventually leave?
32
00:03:19,251 --> 00:03:22,040
Oh, I'll soon be out of
your hair, don't worry.
33
00:03:24,560 --> 00:03:26,849
I have to tell you that
we've never had a booking
34
00:03:26,850 --> 00:03:29,089
on Christmas Eve before!
35
00:03:29,090 --> 00:03:31,049
Oh, thank you.
36
00:03:31,050 --> 00:03:34,049
Your wife will be joining
you later, will she?
37
00:03:34,050 --> 00:03:36,599
No, she passed
away in the autumn.
38
00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,000
I am so sorry.
39
00:03:39,001 --> 00:03:42,899
So sorry - I've charged
you at a two person rate.
40
00:03:42,900 --> 00:03:46,072
I'll void it and start again.
No, no, no. No, please.
41
00:03:46,073 --> 00:03:48,542
I just want to spend
a peaceful night here
42
00:03:48,543 --> 00:03:52,358
alone with my
thoughts and memories.
43
00:03:52,383 --> 00:03:55,382
Oh, I'm sure you won't be alone.
44
00:03:55,383 --> 00:03:58,186
Merry Christmas, Dr Parkway.
45
00:03:59,543 --> 00:04:02,555
And God bless us, every one.
46
00:04:28,873 --> 00:04:30,583
Hello?
47
00:04:40,163 --> 00:04:41,823
Hello?
48
00:05:38,823 --> 00:05:40,513
Mr Wilson...
49
00:05:44,433 --> 00:05:46,313
is that you?
50
00:05:49,104 --> 00:05:51,072
Oh, my God, it's
freezing!
51
00:05:51,073 --> 00:05:52,592
I told you it would be.
52
00:05:52,593 --> 00:05:54,592
It's a bloody church,
what did you expect?
53
00:05:54,593 --> 00:05:56,552
What did I expect on
Christmas Eve night?
54
00:05:56,553 --> 00:05:58,262
Oh, I don't know, a Radisson.
55
00:05:58,263 --> 00:06:00,233
Hey, I told you, don't blame me.
56
00:06:00,234 --> 00:06:02,592
Holiday I Inn, maybe.
Blame global warming.
57
00:06:02,593 --> 00:06:04,962
Anyway, I asked that old bloke
to try and get us some booze.
58
00:06:04,963 --> 00:06:07,672
Champers for the champers.
That should cheer you up a bit.
59
00:06:07,673 --> 00:06:09,302
Hey, watch this.
60
00:06:10,833 --> 00:06:14,792
Our lager which art in
barrels, hallowed be thy ale.
61
00:06:14,793 --> 00:06:19,622
Thy kegdom come, I will be
drunk, at home, as in the tavern.
62
00:06:19,623 --> 00:06:23,632
Give us this day our foamy head,
and forgive us our spillages,
63
00:06:23,633 --> 00:06:26,542
as we forgive those
who spill against us.
64
00:06:26,543 --> 00:06:29,902
Deliver us not into inebriation,
for thine is the stout,
65
00:06:29,903 --> 00:06:31,782
the bitter, and the lager,
66
00:06:31,783 --> 00:06:33,952
forever and ever, barmen!
67
00:06:33,953 --> 00:06:35,952
You're
not funny, you know.
68
00:06:35,953 --> 00:06:39,162
Course I am. Hey, do you want
to see my little white balls...?
69
00:06:39,163 --> 00:06:41,422
Ooh!
70
00:06:41,423 --> 00:06:42,952
Oh, my Lord!
71
00:06:42,953 --> 00:06:45,472
Not quite, I'm afraid. He
arrives in the morning.
72
00:06:45,473 --> 00:06:47,832
You nearly give us a bloody
heart attack! Are you the vicar?
73
00:06:47,833 --> 00:06:50,752
No, no, I'm Dr Parkway, jasper,
74
00:06:50,753 --> 00:06:54,542
and I'm afraid I have exclusive use
of this church till 10am tomorrow.
75
00:06:54,543 --> 00:06:59,183
Use? I should explain - my mother
passed away earlier this year.
76
00:06:59,208 --> 00:07:01,090
She's buried out
in the graveyard.
77
00:07:01,115 --> 00:07:04,882
I simply wanted to spend the
night here in quiet contemplation.
78
00:07:04,883 --> 00:07:07,392
Oh, well, we booked it on
the website this morning.
79
00:07:07,393 --> 00:07:10,965
That Dick, the man called Dick, he
said he hadn't seen our email yet.
80
00:07:10,990 --> 00:07:13,422
I 'm pierce. This
is my wife, posy.
81
00:07:13,423 --> 00:07:16,162
Like the flowers. Yeah, because
when her mam got pregnant with her,
82
00:07:16,163 --> 00:07:17,810
the first thing she said
was "Thanks a bunch."
83
00:07:17,835 --> 00:07:21,544
Ignore him, he's pathetic.
I'm sorry about your mother.
84
00:07:22,244 --> 00:07:24,312
We were supposed to be
going to Lapland yesterday,
85
00:07:24,313 --> 00:07:26,342
only they rang up and said
there wasn't any snow.
86
00:07:26,343 --> 00:07:28,152
How unfortunate.
87
00:07:28,153 --> 00:07:30,632
Yeah. They said we could still go
and they'd put us up in a shed,
88
00:07:30,633 --> 00:07:33,062
but we thought, well, if it's
not an igloo, what's the point?
89
00:07:33,063 --> 00:07:35,113
Well, I hate to disappoint
you but as you can see,
90
00:07:35,114 --> 00:07:36,942
there's only one bed set out.
91
00:07:36,943 --> 00:07:38,782
Don't worry about that.
We've come prepared.
92
00:07:38,783 --> 00:07:40,702
Sleeping bags at the ready.
93
00:07:40,703 --> 00:07:43,382
We'll just set up
here beside you.
94
00:07:43,383 --> 00:07:44,953
Who wants a brew?
95
00:07:46,236 --> 00:07:47,892
Oh, sorry.
96
00:07:54,104 --> 00:07:56,552
These biscuits are nice,
po. Do you want one?
97
00:07:56,553 --> 00:07:59,243
I don't think they're for us,
Pierce, they're like church wafers.
98
00:07:59,244 --> 00:08:02,712
What do you mean?
It's the Eucharist.
99
00:08:02,713 --> 00:08:04,502
The body of Christ.
100
00:08:04,503 --> 00:08:06,422
Oh, shit!
101
00:08:06,423 --> 00:08:09,192
Sorry! They taste like
rich teas, anyway.
102
00:08:09,193 --> 00:08:11,233
The most boring of all biscuits.
103
00:08:11,234 --> 00:08:14,782
Apart from them Nices which,
ironically enough, are horrible.
104
00:08:14,783 --> 00:08:16,542
I'll go and see if
there's anything else.
105
00:08:16,543 --> 00:08:18,402
There's got to be a
kitchen somewhere. Yeah.
106
00:08:18,403 --> 00:08:20,902
Especially with all these
lady vicars now. Idiot.
107
00:08:24,433 --> 00:08:28,392
So, are you a religious
man, then, Jaz?
108
00:08:28,393 --> 00:08:30,422
Not particularly, no.
109
00:08:30,423 --> 00:08:32,955
It's the building itself
I'm most interested in.
110
00:08:32,980 --> 00:08:34,947
Oh, right, you're more like
a history doctor, then,
111
00:08:34,972 --> 00:08:37,132
Indiana Jones, Da
Vinci Code stuff?
112
00:08:37,133 --> 00:08:39,352
You could say that, yes.
113
00:08:39,353 --> 00:08:42,592
"Doctor, Doctor, I 've got a chip up
my nose, a sausage in my left ear,
114
00:08:42,593 --> 00:08:44,283
"a carrot in my right ear,
what's the matter with me?"
115
00:08:44,308 --> 00:08:46,978
The doctor says, "You're
not eating properly."
116
00:08:50,503 --> 00:08:51,872
Tough crowd.
117
00:08:53,963 --> 00:08:55,503
Oh, my good godfathers!
118
00:09:00,413 --> 00:09:02,142
Who is it?
119
00:09:02,143 --> 00:09:03,632
I don't know.
120
00:09:03,633 --> 00:09:05,993
I just pulled back the
curtain, and he were there.
121
00:09:05,994 --> 00:09:07,752
I thought it was Paul Hollywood.
122
00:09:07,753 --> 00:09:08,907
You wouldn't want
him reaching out
123
00:09:08,932 --> 00:09:10,522
and giving you an
handshake, would you?
124
00:09:10,547 --> 00:09:12,546
It's St Nicholas.
125
00:09:12,864 --> 00:09:14,993
The original Santa Claus.
126
00:09:14,994 --> 00:09:16,962
You mean the Coca Cola one?
127
00:09:16,963 --> 00:09:20,142
Uh, a little before
that, I believe.
128
00:09:20,143 --> 00:09:22,552
Patron Saint and protector
of children dating back
129
00:09:22,553 --> 00:09:25,592
to around 300 AD,
possibly even earlier.
130
00:09:25,593 --> 00:09:27,272
What's his origin story?
131
00:09:27,273 --> 00:09:29,142
It's not X-Men, Pierce!
132
00:09:29,143 --> 00:09:33,134
Actually, St Nick was an
"Avenger" in his own way.
133
00:09:34,133 --> 00:09:37,243
Three small children were
said to be lost one night,
134
00:09:37,244 --> 00:09:41,272
after straying too far from their
homes whilst playing in the woods.
135
00:09:41,273 --> 00:09:43,752
As darkness fell, they
came across an old building
136
00:09:43,753 --> 00:09:45,782
belonging to a butcher.
137
00:09:45,783 --> 00:09:48,262
He offered them food and
shelter for the night,
138
00:09:48,263 --> 00:09:50,747
and they eagerly
accepted his invitation.
139
00:09:51,984 --> 00:09:56,782
However, once inside, the
butcher set upon the three boys,
140
00:09:56,783 --> 00:10:00,032
slitting their
throats one by one.
141
00:10:00,033 --> 00:10:01,272
Bloody hell!
142
00:10:01,273 --> 00:10:03,502
He then cut up the
children's bodies
143
00:10:03,503 --> 00:10:07,192
and laid the pieces
in a salting tub,
144
00:10:07,193 --> 00:10:11,450
preserving their flesh to sell
as ham to the nearby villagers.
145
00:10:13,343 --> 00:10:16,632
Seven years had passed when
Nicholas, the Bishop of Myra,
146
00:10:16,633 --> 00:10:19,792
was riding in the woods
and came upon the house.
147
00:10:19,793 --> 00:10:23,274
He demanded that the butcher
open up his barrels of salt.
148
00:10:24,633 --> 00:10:27,712
When he saw the contents,
Nicholas performed a miracle,
149
00:10:27,713 --> 00:10:30,602
restoring the three boys to
life and sending them home
150
00:10:30,603 --> 00:10:32,572
to their astonished parents.
151
00:10:32,573 --> 00:10:34,142
Lucky for them.
152
00:10:34,143 --> 00:10:36,902
The myth also explains
why we now hang pickles
153
00:10:36,903 --> 00:10:39,042
or gherkins as Christmas
tree decorations.
154
00:10:39,043 --> 00:10:41,003
Oh, we've got one of
them! A big green one.
155
00:10:41,004 --> 00:10:43,272
Posy calls it the
Grinch's co... Pierce!
156
00:10:43,273 --> 00:10:46,962
Yes, It's an unusual derivation,
the pickling or preserving
157
00:10:46,963 --> 00:10:50,297
of children's bodies
in salt or vinegar. Mm.
158
00:10:51,503 --> 00:10:54,344
Did you bring any crisps? I think
we've got some cheese puffs.
159
00:10:54,369 --> 00:10:55,809
Oh, right.
160
00:11:06,913 --> 00:11:10,402
♪ O little town of Bethlehem
161
00:11:10,403 --> 00:11:14,472
♪ How still we see thee thy
162
00:11:14,473 --> 00:11:19,512
♪ Among the hills and daffodils
163
00:11:19,513 --> 00:11:21,632
♪ Do-do-ba-da-do-do-ba... ♪
164
00:11:21,633 --> 00:11:24,322
Would you be quiet,
please? Sorry?
165
00:11:24,323 --> 00:11:26,062
Would you please stop singing?
166
00:11:26,063 --> 00:11:27,552
I'm trying to work.
167
00:11:27,553 --> 00:11:29,273
Oh, yeah.
168
00:11:30,423 --> 00:11:31,902
Sorry.
169
00:11:31,903 --> 00:11:34,123
I'm just getting in the mood.
170
00:11:34,124 --> 00:11:37,042
I'm looking for somewhere
nice to hang my stocking...
171
00:11:37,043 --> 00:11:38,912
How about round your neck?
172
00:11:38,913 --> 00:11:41,682
Pardon? Uh, anywhere
around the nave.
173
00:11:44,833 --> 00:11:48,062
Have you not got one? I think I've
got a spare in here somewhere...
174
00:11:50,793 --> 00:11:52,912
They're a bit laddered
around the gusset,
175
00:11:52,913 --> 00:11:55,032
but you could pop
a tangerine in.
176
00:11:55,033 --> 00:11:56,473
That's very kind.
177
00:11:57,623 --> 00:12:00,153
Shall I just hang them on
the end of his bed? Yeah.
178
00:12:01,633 --> 00:12:05,552
♪ O little town of Bethlehem
179
00:12:05,553 --> 00:12:08,632
♪ How still we see thee thy... ♪
180
00:12:37,633 --> 00:12:39,583
Is somebody there?
181
00:14:21,710 --> 00:14:23,190
Hello?
182
00:14:25,270 --> 00:14:28,749
Only me! Just wondered if
you might like to join us
183
00:14:28,750 --> 00:14:31,219
for a little tot of
Bristol Cream, eh?
184
00:14:34,510 --> 00:14:36,734
Christmas Eve.
185
00:14:38,220 --> 00:14:41,190
The most magical
night of the year.
186
00:14:42,630 --> 00:14:45,469
I used to love it when was a
kid. You still are a bloody kid!
187
00:14:45,470 --> 00:14:47,370
Do you have any children?
188
00:14:48,820 --> 00:14:50,469
No.
189
00:14:50,470 --> 00:14:52,019
No, we don't.
190
00:14:52,020 --> 00:14:55,579
Still, um... believe in
Santa though, don't we?
191
00:14:55,580 --> 00:15:00,370
Well, you know, this church has
a unique link to St Nicholas,
192
00:15:00,395 --> 00:15:02,929
hence the display.
193
00:15:03,420 --> 00:15:06,829
Would you like to hear it?
It does involve a ghost.
194
00:15:06,830 --> 00:15:08,429
Oh, now you're talking.
195
00:15:08,430 --> 00:15:10,499
Hey, Doc, pull up a pew!
196
00:15:10,500 --> 00:15:13,149
I 'd rather not, if it's
all the same to you.
197
00:15:13,150 --> 00:15:16,951
Oh, come on! A ghost story
for Christmas!? It's perfect.
198
00:15:16,976 --> 00:15:19,229
I don't believe in ghosts,
199
00:15:19,230 --> 00:15:22,579
and I've no interest in
made-up narratives about them.
200
00:15:22,580 --> 00:15:26,569
I assure you, Doctor, the
events I'm about to recount
201
00:15:26,570 --> 00:15:29,757
are not made up. I know that...
202
00:15:30,430 --> 00:15:31,991
for certain.
203
00:15:34,910 --> 00:15:36,001
Well?
204
00:15:37,630 --> 00:15:40,484
Seems like I don't have
much choice, do I?!
205
00:15:41,290 --> 00:15:42,510
Thank you.
206
00:15:45,500 --> 00:15:49,499
The body of St Nicholas,
like all the great saints,
207
00:15:49,500 --> 00:15:53,009
was harvested for
reliquaries and devotionals.
208
00:15:53,010 --> 00:15:54,489
Sorry, you've lost me already.
209
00:15:54,490 --> 00:15:57,939
Relics are the bones or body
parts of venerated individuals,
210
00:15:57,940 --> 00:16:01,801
often stolen from tombs and
sold all around the world.
211
00:16:01,826 --> 00:16:05,139
They used to be a big
business. They still are.
212
00:16:05,140 --> 00:16:07,549
What would you say
if I were to tell you
213
00:16:07,550 --> 00:16:10,365
that the jawbone of St Nicholas
214
00:16:10,591 --> 00:16:14,475
is hidden in this very building?
215
00:16:14,500 --> 00:16:16,269
Is it?
216
00:16:16,270 --> 00:16:19,299
I can tell you that it
has not yet been found,
217
00:16:19,300 --> 00:16:26,790
but I have reason to believe that
it resides here... somewhere.
218
00:16:27,861 --> 00:16:30,149
And why do you believe that?
219
00:16:30,150 --> 00:16:34,069
Because of what I
saw with my own eyes,
220
00:16:34,070 --> 00:16:38,829
five years ago on Christmas Eve.
221
00:16:38,830 --> 00:16:40,339
Here we go.
222
00:16:40,340 --> 00:16:41,910
Hold my hand, Pierce.
223
00:16:42,910 --> 00:16:46,569
I 'd extinguished the last of
the candles, and I was leaving
224
00:16:46,570 --> 00:16:49,990
with just the light from my
phone screen to see me out.
225
00:16:51,620 --> 00:16:54,069
Why didn't you
turn your torch on?
226
00:16:54,070 --> 00:16:55,779
I didn't know it had one.
227
00:16:55,780 --> 00:16:58,579
Carry on.
228
00:16:58,580 --> 00:17:02,779
I was standing over
there by the pulpit,
229
00:17:02,780 --> 00:17:08,162
and I heard a noise
by the Christmas tree.
230
00:17:08,950 --> 00:17:12,029
I genuinely thought, " I've
really got to be careful here
231
00:17:12,054 --> 00:17:14,909
"because I might end up locking
someone up in the church
232
00:17:14,910 --> 00:17:17,139
"and they might
freeze to death."
233
00:17:17,140 --> 00:17:19,939
We had that in the
school where I clean.
234
00:17:19,940 --> 00:17:24,189
A homeless man was living in
the gym equipment cupboard,
235
00:17:24,190 --> 00:17:26,579
sleeping in the vaulting box.
236
00:17:26,580 --> 00:17:30,789
The deputy head had to coax him out
with a boneless banquet from KFC,
237
00:17:30,790 --> 00:17:33,139
and the Sally Army came for him.
238
00:17:33,140 --> 00:17:35,009
Have you quite finished?
239
00:17:35,010 --> 00:17:36,300
Sorry.
240
00:17:37,910 --> 00:17:41,020
I walked over to the
Christmas tree...
241
00:17:42,861 --> 00:17:45,660
and that's when I saw him...
242
00:17:46,991 --> 00:17:51,236
peeping out from
behind the branches.
243
00:17:52,100 --> 00:17:57,056
A figure in a dark red cloak.
244
00:17:58,450 --> 00:18:02,213
His head bowed.
245
00:18:04,630 --> 00:18:07,986
I kept perfectly still...
246
00:18:09,871 --> 00:18:12,649
but I wasn't
expecting what I saw.
247
00:18:12,650 --> 00:18:17,869
His head slowly lifted... up.
248
00:18:19,380 --> 00:18:21,197
It was so...
249
00:18:22,110 --> 00:18:23,629
sad.
250
00:18:23,630 --> 00:18:28,029
An old man, with kind eyes,
251
00:18:28,030 --> 00:18:32,845
but such pain behind them.
252
00:18:35,430 --> 00:18:39,430
And below this tender,
imploring face...
253
00:18:42,263 --> 00:18:44,579
there was no bottom jaw.
254
00:18:44,580 --> 00:18:49,939
Just a black lolling tongue,
255
00:18:49,940 --> 00:18:54,229
dangling down into
the space below.
256
00:18:54,230 --> 00:18:57,939
It moaned and clacked,
257
00:18:59,100 --> 00:19:02,229
then it started to
come towards me.
258
00:19:02,230 --> 00:19:04,051
That's when I ran.
259
00:19:04,076 --> 00:19:07,309
I ran and ran and didn't
stop till I got home,
260
00:19:07,310 --> 00:19:09,935
and I locked the door behind me.
261
00:19:11,097 --> 00:19:15,521
The next day, Christmas Day...
262
00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:18,430
when I came back...
263
00:19:20,220 --> 00:19:22,420
there were footprints.
264
00:19:24,660 --> 00:19:28,685
Black, filthy...
265
00:19:30,350 --> 00:19:34,967
footprints all
around the church.
266
00:19:36,020 --> 00:19:41,539
I believe that his restless
spirit roams around this site,
267
00:19:41,540 --> 00:19:44,459
longing to be whole again,
268
00:19:44,460 --> 00:19:49,262
and finally be at peace.
269
00:19:54,808 --> 00:19:57,457
Right, I'd better be off.
270
00:20:00,148 --> 00:20:03,537
That was brilliant! I bet that
shit you up, didn't it, Doc?!
271
00:20:03,538 --> 00:20:06,067
Now do you believe in
ghosts? Of course not.
272
00:20:06,068 --> 00:20:07,777
We are pattern-finding
creatures,
273
00:20:07,778 --> 00:20:11,457
and we rationalise what we don't
understand with ridiculous stories.
274
00:20:11,458 --> 00:20:13,097
Now if you don't mind,
275
00:20:13,098 --> 00:20:15,935
I'd like to spend the rest of
the evening in my own company.
276
00:20:22,538 --> 00:20:24,334
Is that sherry free?
277
00:20:55,188 --> 00:20:58,100
You all right, po? Yeah.
278
00:20:59,438 --> 00:21:01,436
Are you thinking about paisley?
279
00:21:03,619 --> 00:21:05,989
I lit a candle for her. Aw...
280
00:21:10,428 --> 00:21:11,898
that's nice.
281
00:21:13,178 --> 00:21:15,194
Be 18 years next Christmas.
282
00:21:18,468 --> 00:21:21,588
I'll book Lapland
again. That'd be nice.
283
00:21:24,658 --> 00:21:27,187
I didn't like Dick's story.
284
00:21:27,188 --> 00:21:30,227
Do you believe him?
No, course not.
285
00:21:30,228 --> 00:21:33,387
Just his party piece. He'll
have one for every season.
286
00:21:33,388 --> 00:21:36,618
Be a giant rabbit at
Easter, witch at Halloween.
287
00:21:36,619 --> 00:21:38,067
What's summer?
288
00:21:38,068 --> 00:21:41,387
Er... beach ghost.
289
00:21:41,388 --> 00:21:43,420
It's just a bloke with trunks on
290
00:21:43,445 --> 00:21:45,057
wandering about with
a bright red face.
291
00:21:45,058 --> 00:21:47,937
A bottle of sunblock.
Yeah, probably.
292
00:21:47,938 --> 00:21:51,093
Why, did it spook
you? A little bit.
293
00:21:53,308 --> 00:21:54,708
It's just...
294
00:21:56,678 --> 00:22:00,148
that night, when I was pregnant
and I had the accident...
295
00:22:01,508 --> 00:22:04,023
something happened
that I never told you.
296
00:22:06,508 --> 00:22:08,467
That night...
297
00:22:08,468 --> 00:22:10,748
you saw a ghost?
298
00:22:10,749 --> 00:22:14,257
Not really. I was just
mopping the floor in reception
299
00:22:14,258 --> 00:22:16,297
when I saw my mother walk past.
300
00:22:16,298 --> 00:22:18,298
I thought, "Well,
what's she doing here?"
301
00:22:20,378 --> 00:22:23,748
I waved at her, but she
didn't say anything,
302
00:22:23,749 --> 00:22:25,968
just stared at me.
303
00:22:27,098 --> 00:22:32,210
Then, suddenly, she put her hand
up on the glass and started to cry.
304
00:22:33,388 --> 00:22:38,095
Mascara running down
her face in black lines.
305
00:22:40,268 --> 00:22:42,507
Then she turned
and went off again.
306
00:22:42,508 --> 00:22:45,568
I went to look for her,
but there was no-one there.
307
00:22:47,632 --> 00:22:51,991
That's weird. Anyway, as I was
walking home, I tried phoning her,
308
00:22:52,200 --> 00:22:54,159
and it was as I was dialling
309
00:22:54,184 --> 00:22:57,378
that the motorbike came
off the road and...
310
00:23:01,238 --> 00:23:03,517
Bloody hell.
311
00:23:03,518 --> 00:23:08,107
A few days later, when I was in
the hospital, she came to visit me,
312
00:23:08,108 --> 00:23:10,667
and she told me that that night,
313
00:23:10,668 --> 00:23:13,403
the night of the accident,
she'd had an awful feeling
314
00:23:13,428 --> 00:23:16,147
something bad was
going to happen to me.
315
00:23:16,308 --> 00:23:18,597
I didn't tell her
what I'd seen,
316
00:23:18,598 --> 00:23:21,184
then as she was leaving,
317
00:23:21,209 --> 00:23:23,614
she put her hand
up on the glass,
318
00:23:24,492 --> 00:23:26,833
and started to cry.
319
00:23:28,508 --> 00:23:32,169
Mascara running down
her face in black lines.
320
00:23:33,978 --> 00:23:35,287
My God.
321
00:23:36,958 --> 00:23:39,337
It wasn't a ghost.
322
00:23:39,338 --> 00:23:41,301
It was a warning.
323
00:23:49,388 --> 00:23:51,317
What's that?
324
00:23:51,318 --> 00:23:53,480
Must be one of them
new-fangled machines
325
00:23:53,505 --> 00:23:55,697
that let you talk to each
other through the air.
326
00:23:55,698 --> 00:23:57,427
Come on.
327
00:23:57,428 --> 00:24:00,827
Hey! Don't leave me!
328
00:24:00,828 --> 00:24:02,108
Pierce!
329
00:24:06,908 --> 00:24:08,908
Don't answer it.
330
00:24:14,749 --> 00:24:16,228
Hello?
331
00:24:23,388 --> 00:24:25,028
It's for you.
332
00:24:33,418 --> 00:24:34,619
Yes?
333
00:24:38,629 --> 00:24:42,237
You bloody idiot, what are
you playing at?! Who was it?
334
00:24:42,238 --> 00:24:44,505
No-one, they hung up. Must
have been a wrong number.
335
00:24:44,530 --> 00:24:47,019
Come on, it's freezing
in here.
336
00:24:48,223 --> 00:24:49,981
Hey, we forgot to
check our stockings.
337
00:24:50,006 --> 00:24:51,724
Let's see if Santa's been.
338
00:24:51,749 --> 00:24:53,337
What's on your list?
339
00:24:53,338 --> 00:24:56,107
Socks and undies,
obviously. Yeah, obviously.
340
00:24:56,108 --> 00:24:59,547
Handkerchiefs with a p on which'll
never come out of the packet.
341
00:24:59,548 --> 00:25:02,317
Selection box, they're not
as big as they used to be.
342
00:25:02,318 --> 00:25:05,227
All right, Peter Kay!
It's true! What about you?
343
00:25:05,228 --> 00:25:08,187
Um, bath salts?
344
00:25:08,188 --> 00:25:11,557
Um, chocolates full of
some disgusting liqueur.
345
00:25:11,558 --> 00:25:14,227
Oh, and a shit scented candle.
346
00:25:14,228 --> 00:25:17,907
Shit-scented? How do they do
that? You don't want to know.
347
00:25:23,228 --> 00:25:25,467
Oh, bloody hell!
348
00:25:33,879 --> 00:25:36,235
Thought they'd
never fucking leave.
349
00:26:00,388 --> 00:26:03,258
Ho, ho...
350
00:26:04,388 --> 00:26:05,749
ho.
351
00:26:06,988 --> 00:26:08,953
Dr Parkway! Shit!
352
00:26:14,108 --> 00:26:19,344
Dr Parkway, are you there?
353
00:26:21,268 --> 00:26:24,258
I had a phone call from Pierce.
354
00:26:30,475 --> 00:26:36,688
He says he saw something
rather disturbing.
355
00:26:37,388 --> 00:26:38,828
Dr Parkway?
356
00:27:00,594 --> 00:27:01,641
Hello?
357
00:27:04,499 --> 00:27:05,953
Hello?
358
00:27:16,348 --> 00:27:20,187
Doctor? Doctor?
359
00:27:20,188 --> 00:27:27,468
I'm ever so sorry if I frightened
you with what I said earlier.
360
00:27:28,908 --> 00:27:31,509
It was just a story.
361
00:27:47,708 --> 00:27:53,156
There is no ghost here,
I can assure you of that!
362
00:28:02,608 --> 00:28:05,352
Ghosts aren't real!
363
00:28:07,178 --> 00:28:09,117
It wasn't a ghost.
364
00:28:09,118 --> 00:28:10,629
Hello?
365
00:28:13,958 --> 00:28:15,805
It was a warning.
366
00:28:41,788 --> 00:28:43,528
Is somebody there?
367
00:28:50,509 --> 00:28:51,917
Hello?
368
00:29:10,868 --> 00:29:12,759
Oh, no!
369
00:29:27,578 --> 00:29:30,428
Well, I never!
370
00:29:33,828 --> 00:29:36,413
Merry Christmas.
371
00:29:38,798 --> 00:29:41,587
♪ Ding dong! Merrily on high
372
00:29:41,588 --> 00:29:44,987
♪ In heav'n the
bells are ringing
373
00:29:44,988 --> 00:29:52,988
♪ Glo-o-o-o-oria
374
00:29:53,868 --> 00:29:57,758
♪ Hosanna in excelsis
375
00:29:57,759 --> 00:30:02,905
♪ Glo-o-o-o-oria
376
00:30:02,930 --> 00:30:03,966
♪ Glo-o-o-o-oria
377
00:30:03,991 --> 00:30:07,417
♪ Glo-o-o-o-oria
378
00:30:07,418 --> 00:30:12,228
♪ Hosanna in excelsis. ♪
28383
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