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♪♪
2
00:00:04,000 --> 00:00:07,000
♪ Come on now, push, press ♪
3
00:00:07,000 --> 00:00:09,000
♪ More, less ♪
[ All cheering ]
4
00:00:09,000 --> 00:00:11,000
♪ Here together ♪
5
00:00:11,000 --> 00:00:13,000
♪ What's your pleasure? ♪
6
00:00:13,000 --> 00:00:17,000
♪ Stop, go, fast, slow ♪
7
00:00:17,000 --> 00:00:18,000
♪ Here together ♪
8
00:00:18,000 --> 00:00:21,000
♪ What's your pleasure? ♪
9
00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:22,000
Whoo!
10
00:00:24,000 --> 00:00:26,000
♪ Here together ♪
11
00:00:26,000 --> 00:00:28,000
♪ What's your pleasure? ♪
12
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Deejay:
Show me those moves!
13
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-Yeah, fuck this.
-Yeah.
14
00:00:35,000 --> 00:00:37,000
Arianna:
Giddy up, bitches!
15
00:00:37,000 --> 00:00:40,000
Operation Steal My Dad's Booze
is happening now.
16
00:00:40,000 --> 00:00:43,000
[ Cheers, laughter ]
17
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What?
18
00:00:44,000 --> 00:00:46,000
Uh, i-it's just --
19
00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:49,000
I wasn't really gonna go
to -- to Riley's.
20
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Oh, well, unfortunately,
sometimes we have to walk
21
00:00:53,000 --> 00:00:55,000
through the valley
of the shadow of death,
22
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so let's go.
23
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[ Riley groaning ]
24
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Are you gonna puke?
No.
25
00:00:59,000 --> 00:01:01,000
Do you want me to stick
my fingers down your throat?
26
00:01:01,000 --> 00:01:03,000
That's okay.
Thank you, though.
27
00:01:03,000 --> 00:01:04,000
You did that for me once,
and it was actually, like,
28
00:01:04,000 --> 00:01:07,000
one of the sweetest things
that
29
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,000
But I'm pretty sure you
actually
30
00:01:09,000 --> 00:01:10,000
Definitely.
Arianna: Andale!
31
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Um, I have to tell you
something.
32
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What?
I, um --
33
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Come on!
Okay, okay.
34
00:01:14,000 --> 00:01:16,000
-Let's go!
-Okay.
35
00:01:16,000 --> 00:01:17,000
-Come on!
-Babies!
36
00:01:17,000 --> 00:01:19,000
I made V-day
choko-lah-tays,
37
00:01:19,000 --> 00:01:21,000
with a special
love spell in them.
38
00:01:21,000 --> 00:01:25,000
So if you eat them --
which you fucking better --
39
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just know you're gonna get into
all kinds of horny shit,
40
00:01:29,000 --> 00:01:32,000
and your truest, deepest,
darkest desires
41
00:01:32,000 --> 00:01:34,000
will be coming true
tonight.
42
00:01:34,000 --> 00:01:36,000
Whoo!
43
00:01:36,000 --> 00:01:38,000
I kinda believe in magic,
do you?
44
00:01:41,000 --> 00:01:42,000
You guys!
45
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Everyone say, "Thank you,
Zaddy Daddy"!
46
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All:
Thank you, Zaddy Daddy!
47
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Wait, was she talking
about her actual dad?
48
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White girls need to use "Daddy"
less literally.
49
00:01:55,000 --> 00:01:59,000
[ Mid-tempo music playing,
indistinct conversations ]
50
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[ Cellphone chimes ]
51
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,000
Thank you, Zaddy Daddy!
52
00:02:04,000 --> 00:02:08,000
Can -- Maybe we can just
stop checking our phones?
53
00:02:08,000 --> 00:02:11,000
It's the kids thanking you
for the party bus.
54
00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,000
Even though it was my idea
to surprise them with a limo.
55
00:02:14,000 --> 00:02:16,000
[ Sighs ]
Well, the limo place said
56
00:02:17,000 --> 00:02:21,000
And that's apparently the part
I really struggle with.
57
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Sweetheart.
Sweetheart, what is going on?
58
00:02:24,000 --> 00:02:25,000
What is going on?
59
00:02:25,000 --> 00:02:26,000
That's a really great
question.
60
00:02:26,000 --> 00:02:29,000
How are you liking
the Grenache?
61
00:02:29,000 --> 00:02:31,000
It's, uh...
it's terrific.
62
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Yeah, y-you were right.
63
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It, um, it has
that wonderful oak.
64
00:02:35,000 --> 00:02:37,000
Wonderful.
65
00:02:38,000 --> 00:02:41,000
What's going on is that
our son made up
66
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a fake relationship
with a --
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[quietly] with a boy,
68
00:02:46,000 --> 00:02:48,000
just to upset us.
69
00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,000
He pretended
to go on dates.
70
00:02:51,000 --> 00:02:53,000
Posted photos.
71
00:02:53,000 --> 00:02:55,000
And obviously, Naomi was in
on the entire thing.
72
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Meaning that our house
was just Lie Central.
73
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And it doesn't seem
to bother you.
74
00:03:01,000 --> 00:03:04,000
And I just don't
quite understand that.
75
00:03:05,000 --> 00:03:08,000
But there's a lot of things
I don't understand.
76
00:03:08,000 --> 00:03:10,000
"Oaky" wine.
77
00:03:10,000 --> 00:03:11,000
[ Scoffs ]
78
00:03:11,000 --> 00:03:14,000
If it tastes like bark,
why is that good?
79
00:03:14,000 --> 00:03:16,000
[ Slurping ]
Did you never wonder
80
00:03:17,000 --> 00:03:19,000
this whole time if --
81
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if he was making it up?
82
00:03:22,000 --> 00:03:23,000
Waiter: Lovebirds!
83
00:03:23,000 --> 00:03:25,000
Ready for another drink?
84
00:03:25,000 --> 00:03:28,000
[ Dance music playing
in distance ]
85
00:03:28,000 --> 00:03:30,000
Oh, shit!
86
00:03:30,000 --> 00:03:31,000
What?
87
00:03:31,000 --> 00:03:34,000
The freezer broke
and the magic --
88
00:03:34,000 --> 00:03:36,000
the magic
is fucking fucked!
89
00:03:36,000 --> 00:03:37,000
The placenta? No.
No, no, no, it's okay.
90
00:03:37,000 --> 00:03:39,000
The magic was just to put out
good energy
91
00:03:39,000 --> 00:03:41,000
and to manifest
or whatever, right?
92
00:03:41,000 --> 00:03:43,000
'Cause the secret's
definitely not out.
93
00:03:43,000 --> 00:03:45,000
Chester:
Let's go, bitches!
94
00:03:45,000 --> 00:03:47,000
♪ Have some juice, honey ♪
[ All laughing,
95
00:03:47,000 --> 00:03:51,000
♪ Rich bitch juice,
rich bitch juice ♪
96
00:03:51,000 --> 00:03:54,000
♪ Rich bitch juice,
rich bitch juice ♪
97
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♪ Rich bitch drinking
rich bitch juice ♪
98
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♪ Hey ♪
[ Gasps ]
99
00:03:59,000 --> 00:04:01,000
[ Line ringing ]
100
00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:04,000
[ All laughing cheering ]
101
00:04:04,000 --> 00:04:06,000
Hey, where are you?
102
00:04:06,000 --> 00:04:09,000
Bo: Out front.
What -- What are
103
00:04:09,000 --> 00:04:11,000
Uh, my dad called.
104
00:04:11,000 --> 00:04:15,000
Okay, can you come and
be gross and PDA with me?
105
00:04:15,000 --> 00:04:17,000
I want to annoy
all the single people.
106
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I wanna be that girl tonight,
you know?
107
00:04:20,000 --> 00:04:22,000
Oh, wait, I see you.
108
00:04:26,000 --> 00:04:28,000
Hi.
Hi.
109
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[ Dance music continues
in distance ]
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♪♪
111
00:04:36,000 --> 00:04:39,000
What -- What was that?
112
00:04:39,000 --> 00:04:42,000
I, um...
113
00:04:42,000 --> 00:04:46,000
[Shakily] I think
y-you are amazing.
114
00:04:50,000 --> 00:04:52,000
Is this because of
the fake-dating thing?
115
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No. W--
Um, mostly not.
116
00:04:53,000 --> 00:04:55,000
Because I really --
I feel like you overreacted
117
00:04:55,000 --> 00:04:57,000
to all of it,
like, the Nathan thing...
118
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Okay.
...his mom...
119
00:04:58,000 --> 00:05:00,000
No, no, I --
Or not.
120
00:05:00,000 --> 00:05:02,000
And I just have, like,
major character issues
121
00:05:02,000 --> 00:05:03,000
and I'm deeply fucked up.
No, I'm sure I did --
122
00:05:03,000 --> 00:05:06,000
But I hide it under this
very sparkly exterior.
123
00:05:14,000 --> 00:05:19,000
Okay, so, why are you
breaking up with me?
124
00:05:19,000 --> 00:05:21,000
[ Chuckles ]
I'm really...
125
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boring and nerdy.
126
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Like, I --
Mm.
127
00:05:25,000 --> 00:05:27,000
I don't even get
w-why you like me.
128
00:05:27,000 --> 00:05:28,000
Like... [ Sighs ]
129
00:05:28,000 --> 00:05:30,000
I-I don't know.
I...
130
00:05:31,000 --> 00:05:35,000
Sometimes I wonder
i-if it's more
131
00:05:35,000 --> 00:05:37,000
that you just...
132
00:05:37,000 --> 00:05:41,000
like how much
I like you.
133
00:05:43,000 --> 00:05:46,000
But if you like me
so much,
134
00:05:46,000 --> 00:05:49,000
then why are you
breaking up with me?
135
00:05:51,000 --> 00:05:55,000
You -- You are the --
the smartest, funniest --
136
00:05:55,000 --> 00:05:56,000
That's just --
Don't do that.
137
00:05:57,000 --> 00:05:59,000
That's, like, no.
138
00:05:59,000 --> 00:06:05,000
♪♪
139
00:06:05,000 --> 00:06:08,000
Can we just, like...
140
00:06:08,000 --> 00:06:09,000
find a roof somewhere
141
00:06:09,000 --> 00:06:12,000
and you can write
a quote on the wall
142
00:06:13,000 --> 00:06:15,000
and talk to me about
"Dungeons & Dragons"
143
00:06:15,000 --> 00:06:20,000
and I can, like, feel, like,
the whole world isn't shit?
144
00:06:20,000 --> 00:06:23,000
Or could we just
go anywhere?
145
00:06:23,000 --> 00:06:29,000
♪♪
146
00:06:29,000 --> 00:06:31,000
[ Up-tempo hip-hop plays ]
147
00:06:31,000 --> 00:06:32,000
♪ I'm twistin' a spliff ♪
148
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:34,000
♪ I'm not on a list ♪
149
00:06:34,000 --> 00:06:36,000
♪ I come through the back
and I'm bringin' my own ♪
150
00:06:36,000 --> 00:06:38,000
♪ Bandana my fifth ♪
151
00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:40,000
Hey, man,
have you seen Delilah?
152
00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,000
♪ Bandana my fifth ♪
153
00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,000
♪ Zoo Zoo, I'm Zulu,
You Zoolander ♪
154
00:06:44,000 --> 00:06:46,000
Can I get a cup?
155
00:06:47,000 --> 00:06:49,000
[ Cellphone chimes ]
156
00:06:49,000 --> 00:06:51,000
Girl.
You have to tell her.
157
00:06:51,000 --> 00:06:54,000
I know.
But I was also just thinking.
158
00:06:54,000 --> 00:06:56,000
There's also a version
where I don't tell her
159
00:06:56,000 --> 00:06:58,000
and she never finds out.
160
00:06:58,000 --> 00:07:00,000
Sometimes not telling
is better,
161
00:07:00,000 --> 00:07:01,000
like when you shouldn't
tell someone
162
00:07:01,000 --> 00:07:04,000
they look good in dark
lipstick
163
00:07:04,000 --> 00:07:05,000
You literally
just told me
164
00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:07,000
I look good
in dark lipstick today.
165
00:07:08,000 --> 00:07:10,000
No! No!
I-I just -- I --
166
00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:11,000
At first I wasn't sure,
but --
167
00:07:11,000 --> 00:07:13,000
Also, everyone lies
all the time,
168
00:07:13,000 --> 00:07:15,000
and when you think about it,
some lies, almost most of
169
00:07:15,000 --> 00:07:18,000
are, like, more true
than the actual truth.
170
00:07:18,000 --> 00:07:21,000
I really agree with that,
by the way.
171
00:07:21,000 --> 00:07:23,000
Hey, um,
I need weed.
172
00:07:23,000 --> 00:07:25,000
I'm driving
for a blackout.
173
00:07:25,000 --> 00:07:27,000
♪ I come through the back
and I'm bringin' my own ♪
174
00:07:27,000 --> 00:07:30,000
♪ Bandana my fifth,
bandana my fifth ♪
175
00:07:30,000 --> 00:07:32,000
♪ Bandana my fifth,
bandana my fifth ♪
176
00:07:32,000 --> 00:07:34,000
Um, by the way
I just got dumped.
177
00:07:34,000 --> 00:07:36,000
Yeah,
literally just now.
178
00:07:36,000 --> 00:07:38,000
Like, he's waiting outside
for his dad.
179
00:07:38,000 --> 00:07:40,000
It's not your fault.
Just...
180
00:07:40,000 --> 00:07:42,000
Can we, like,
turn up the music or, like...
181
00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:43,000
mosh pit on the trampoline
or something?
182
00:07:43,000 --> 00:07:47,000
'Cause I am so sick of
being judged for who I am.
183
00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:48,000
Like, I am a lot,
184
00:07:48,000 --> 00:07:50,000
and I told everyone that
from the fucking jump!
185
00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:53,000
Yes, come on.
Shit. Come.
186
00:07:54,000 --> 00:07:56,000
♪ Fuck you mean?
I ain't new to this shit ♪
187
00:07:56,000 --> 00:07:57,000
♪ Zoo in this bitch,
get through in this bitch ♪
188
00:07:57,000 --> 00:08:00,000
♪ I'mma talk my shit,
let me talk my shit ♪
189
00:08:00,000 --> 00:08:04,000
♪ Bandana my fifth,
bandana my fifth ♪
190
00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:08,000
Hi, um, even though
that this is --
191
00:08:08,000 --> 00:08:10,000
this is literally
none of my business,
192
00:08:10,000 --> 00:08:12,000
I-I just wanted
to say that, like,
193
00:08:12,000 --> 00:08:13,000
I was the one
who started the lie.
194
00:08:13,000 --> 00:08:15,000
Like, h-he was just
doing me a favor.
195
00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,000
Yeah, no, I-I...
196
00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,000
I think, um...
197
00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:21,000
I mean,
that wasn't fully it --
198
00:08:22,000 --> 00:08:25,000
He genuinely, really,
really likes you.
199
00:08:25,000 --> 00:08:27,000
Like, um, you --
200
00:08:27,000 --> 00:08:29,000
you bring out
really good things in him.
201
00:08:29,000 --> 00:08:33,000
Like, he's -- he's more real
when he's with you.
202
00:08:33,000 --> 00:08:35,000
[ Chuckles lightly ]
203
00:08:37,000 --> 00:08:38,000
You're a really good friend
to him.
204
00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:40,000
No, I-I'm just
his yappy Chihuahua.
205
00:08:40,000 --> 00:08:44,000
Yeah.
I don't think so.
206
00:08:44,000 --> 00:08:46,000
[ Vehicle approaches ]
Um...
207
00:08:47,000 --> 00:08:49,000
Uh, my dad's here.
208
00:08:55,000 --> 00:08:57,000
[ Car door closes,
vehicle departs ]
209
00:08:57,000 --> 00:08:59,000
Hi, loverboy,
want a chocolate?
210
00:08:59,000 --> 00:09:02,000
Turns out I gave out
the wrong chocolates on the
211
00:09:03,000 --> 00:09:04,000
Those were
the truth-telling ones.
212
00:09:04,000 --> 00:09:05,000
These are the love ones.
213
00:09:05,000 --> 00:09:07,000
But they could help
with your stone-cold heart.
214
00:09:07,000 --> 00:09:09,000
Yeah, uh, I don't think
much can help with that.
215
00:09:10,000 --> 00:09:11,000
You're probably right.
216
00:09:11,000 --> 00:09:13,000
Also, tell Greta
not to leave!
217
00:09:13,000 --> 00:09:14,000
Greta, don't leave!
218
00:09:14,000 --> 00:09:17,000
Come on.
219
00:09:17,000 --> 00:09:19,000
I used to hate
Valentine's Day, too.
220
00:09:19,000 --> 00:09:20,000
But then I realized
it's actually
221
00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:23,000
a very entertaining
holiday.
222
00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:26,000
It's all about watching
other people crumble.
223
00:09:26,000 --> 00:09:28,000
[ Both laugh ]
224
00:09:28,000 --> 00:09:30,000
Like, some years,
my dads scream
225
00:09:30,000 --> 00:09:33,000
over which rom-com to watch,
and it used to disturb me,
226
00:09:34,000 --> 00:09:37,000
but now I'm like,
"Yes! Popcorn, please."
227
00:09:37,000 --> 00:09:40,000
[ Laughing ]
Oh, my God.
228
00:09:40,000 --> 00:09:42,000
So, we could eat
the truth ones,
229
00:09:42,000 --> 00:09:45,000
and then I could unleash
on Delilah and Naomi.
230
00:09:45,000 --> 00:09:46,000
Oh, my God.
231
00:09:46,000 --> 00:09:50,000
Because technically,
it is after Winter Formal.
232
00:09:50,000 --> 00:09:52,000
And who would you
unleash on?
233
00:09:52,000 --> 00:09:55,000
It's kinda obvious,
I guess, right?
234
00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,000
Hey, have you guys
seen Delilah?
235
00:09:57,000 --> 00:09:59,000
Ooh, are these more
of the chocolates?
236
00:09:59,000 --> 00:10:02,000
Thank you so much.
These are so good.
237
00:10:02,000 --> 00:10:06,000
[ Indistinct conversations,
shouting ]
238
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,000
Hi.
Hi.
239
00:10:08,000 --> 00:10:09,000
I'm -- I'm not sure
where Naomi is.
240
00:10:09,000 --> 00:10:12,000
That's okay.
Um, do you want a chocolate?
241
00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:16,000
♪ I'm feelin' okay,
it's just another day ♪
242
00:10:16,000 --> 00:10:19,000
That's one of the magic
love ones, by the way.
243
00:10:19,000 --> 00:10:21,000
♪ Waiting, anticipating ♪
244
00:10:21,000 --> 00:10:22,000
I have to find my bag.
245
00:10:22,000 --> 00:10:24,000
Um...
Um, look, I just --
246
00:10:24,000 --> 00:10:26,000
I just been really wanting
to tell you that I'm just --
247
00:10:26,000 --> 00:10:30,000
I'm kinda really blown away
by you and how strong you are.
248
00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:31,000
I mean,
next to my brother,
249
00:10:31,000 --> 00:10:34,000
I think you're probably
the strongest person I know.
250
00:10:34,000 --> 00:10:39,000
And, like, I love the whole
feminine-niminism thing
251
00:10:39,000 --> 00:10:42,000
that we're doing with Naomi
and it being not traditional
252
00:10:42,000 --> 00:10:45,000
and the whole
patriarch thing and --
253
00:10:45,000 --> 00:10:47,000
that you were saying.
Um --
254
00:10:47,000 --> 00:10:49,000
Also, ever since you turned me
on to socialism,
255
00:10:49,000 --> 00:10:50,000
I'm, like,
that's really fucking cool
256
00:10:51,000 --> 00:10:53,000
and more people
need to know about that.
257
00:10:53,000 --> 00:10:55,000
But there's just
one problem.
258
00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:58,000
What's that?
259
00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,000
I don't want
to date Naomi.
260
00:11:00,000 --> 00:11:02,000
Oh, but you do.
Let's go find her.
261
00:11:02,000 --> 00:11:04,000
She's amazing.
And you don't know
262
00:11:04,000 --> 00:11:05,000
all the things
we've been through together.
263
00:11:05,000 --> 00:11:07,000
No, I know.
What?
264
00:11:07,000 --> 00:11:09,000
No, I mean --
Yes, I...
265
00:11:09,000 --> 00:11:11,000
I mean, I --
266
00:11:11,000 --> 00:11:14,000
I like her,
but -- I --
267
00:11:14,000 --> 00:11:17,000
I want to be
a two-person thing.
268
00:11:17,000 --> 00:11:19,000
With you.
I'm sorry.
269
00:11:20,000 --> 00:11:22,000
I-I-I know that sounds
really traditional and boring.
270
00:11:22,000 --> 00:11:24,000
And I wasn't gonna say
anything, but my --
271
00:11:24,000 --> 00:11:26,000
my brother was just like,
"Say how you feel,
272
00:11:26,000 --> 00:11:28,000
just be as strong as her,"
and I -- that's --
273
00:11:28,000 --> 00:11:30,000
Why do you keep
saying strong?
274
00:11:30,000 --> 00:11:32,000
'Sup?
275
00:11:34,000 --> 00:11:36,000
Cool.
276
00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,000
Delilah:
So wait, why "strong"?
277
00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:42,000
Oh, my God.
Hi.
278
00:11:42,000 --> 00:11:43,000
How's it going?
279
00:11:43,000 --> 00:11:46,000
I don't really want
to be here.
280
00:11:46,000 --> 00:11:48,000
I love when Gretita
speaks her truth.
281
00:11:48,000 --> 00:11:50,000
Well, Gretita's had a lot
of chocolate tonight,
282
00:11:50,000 --> 00:11:52,000
so that --
283
00:11:52,000 --> 00:11:55,000
it might be coming out
more than usual. [ Laughs ]
284
00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:57,000
Do you know
where Naomi is?
285
00:11:57,000 --> 00:12:04,000
♪♪
286
00:12:04,000 --> 00:12:06,000
Do you know where
the fuck Naomi is?!
287
00:12:06,000 --> 00:12:07,000
No.
No.
288
00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,000
Okay, go,
as hard as you can.
289
00:12:09,000 --> 00:12:13,000
Wait.
A-Are they back together?
290
00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:16,000
-Who?
-Greta and Luz.
291
00:12:16,000 --> 00:12:18,000
Ugh! I'll find out.
No!
292
00:12:18,000 --> 00:12:19,000
-No, no, no, no!
-No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no!
293
00:12:19,000 --> 00:12:20,000
Aaaaaah!
294
00:12:20,000 --> 00:12:22,000
Oh, Jesus Christ.
295
00:12:22,000 --> 00:12:25,000
[ Screams, laughs ]
It's Valentine's Day!
296
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,000
I think love sucks.
297
00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:28,000
I used to not,
but I do now
298
00:12:28,000 --> 00:12:31,000
'cause, uh, I had
my heart broken.
299
00:12:31,000 --> 00:12:32,000
Whee!
300
00:12:32,000 --> 00:12:35,000
And, um, but never mind
'cause, like, it's,
301
00:12:35,000 --> 00:12:39,000
like, literally fine and --
and I'm better off without him.
302
00:12:39,000 --> 00:12:41,000
What I was gonna say is --
Why are you looking at me weird?
303
00:12:41,000 --> 00:12:42,000
Riley: Okay, you want
to just go chill?
304
00:12:42,000 --> 00:12:44,000
No, I wanna talk
about love.
305
00:12:44,000 --> 00:12:46,000
Um, I'm personally
of the belief
306
00:12:46,000 --> 00:12:50,000
that it's, like, more like
a brief homicidal tendency
307
00:12:50,000 --> 00:12:53,000
and less, like,
everlasting goodness.
308
00:12:53,000 --> 00:12:55,000
[ Clicks tongue, laughs ]
309
00:12:55,000 --> 00:12:56,000
Thank you for coming
to my TED Talk.
310
00:12:56,000 --> 00:12:59,000
[ Door slams ]
311
00:12:59,000 --> 00:13:01,000
Riley: Oh, shit.
312
00:13:01,000 --> 00:13:03,000
Ohh!
313
00:13:03,000 --> 00:13:06,000
No!
314
00:13:06,000 --> 00:13:07,000
Oh, hi.
Can you guys --
315
00:13:07,000 --> 00:13:09,000
Can you make sure that no one
comes in here, please?
316
00:13:09,000 --> 00:13:11,000
You fucking told
Cooper?!
317
00:13:11,000 --> 00:13:13,000
Told him what?
[ Door closes ]
318
00:13:14,000 --> 00:13:16,000
I was on wisdom teeth drugs
plus multiple Percocets!
319
00:13:16,000 --> 00:13:19,000
And when the drugs
wore off?
320
00:13:19,000 --> 00:13:20,000
I was actually
talking about drowning people
321
00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,000
in my own family!
Yeah, checks out.
322
00:13:22,000 --> 00:13:24,000
Seriously,
he was so impressed
323
00:13:24,000 --> 00:13:25,000
and he kept saying
how strong you are.
324
00:13:25,000 --> 00:13:28,000
I'm not strong!
I didn't do anything!
325
00:13:28,000 --> 00:13:29,000
I just had a fucking baby
in a bathroom
326
00:13:29,000 --> 00:13:31,000
I didn't know
I was going to have!
327
00:13:31,000 --> 00:13:33,000
And I just didn't want anyone
to fucking know
328
00:13:34,000 --> 00:13:35,000
so I could just be me
and not --
329
00:13:35,000 --> 00:13:37,000
Why would you do that?!
330
00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:42,000
I'm sorry.
331
00:13:42,000 --> 00:13:44,000
That doesn't make it better!
[ Sobs ]
332
00:13:44,000 --> 00:13:46,000
Also, just so you know,
333
00:13:46,000 --> 00:13:50,000
Cooper wants to date me
and not you.
334
00:13:50,000 --> 00:13:52,000
[ Door slams ]
Heeeey!
335
00:13:52,000 --> 00:13:54,000
You remember that party
when you kept saying
336
00:13:54,000 --> 00:13:56,000
that you weren't invited?
337
00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:58,000
I was intrigued,
but, like,
338
00:13:58,000 --> 00:14:00,000
kind of sad for you
at the same time.
339
00:14:00,000 --> 00:14:01,000
What?
340
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:04,000
Ow!
Ah, shit!
341
00:14:04,000 --> 00:14:06,000
[ Indistinct conversations ]
342
00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:09,000
Hey, did you eat those magic
truth-spell chocolates?
343
00:14:09,000 --> 00:14:11,000
Or maybe it's the weed
'cause suddenly I want to go out
344
00:14:11,000 --> 00:14:13,000
and say things to people
I should not.
345
00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,000
Like, I was actually going
to tell Nathan
346
00:14:16,000 --> 00:14:18,000
that when I hear the words
"white boy,"
347
00:14:18,000 --> 00:14:21,000
he's always been the first thing
that comes to my mind.
348
00:14:23,000 --> 00:14:26,000
Are -- Are you okay?
349
00:14:26,000 --> 00:14:28,000
Shit. Come on.
350
00:14:28,000 --> 00:14:31,000
Come here.
Come with me.
351
00:14:31,000 --> 00:14:33,000
Sorry.
352
00:14:33,000 --> 00:14:35,000
Boy: Oh, them turtles
gonna be blind.
353
00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:39,000
Hi.
354
00:14:39,000 --> 00:14:41,000
Hey.
355
00:14:41,000 --> 00:14:43,000
Is it okay that I came?
356
00:14:43,000 --> 00:14:44,000
Yeah, absolutely.
357
00:14:44,000 --> 00:14:46,000
Is it?
Yeah.
358
00:14:46,000 --> 00:14:48,000
[ Chuckles ]
But this is funny --
359
00:14:48,000 --> 00:14:51,000
you, uh, having
a Valentine's Day party.
360
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:53,000
Well, it's not really
for Valentine's Day.
361
00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:55,000
But, um...
362
00:14:55,000 --> 00:14:56,000
Wait,
why is that funny?
363
00:14:56,000 --> 00:14:59,000
'Cause don't we think
about romance the same?
364
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:01,000
Hey, did you see
that stoner playroom?
365
00:15:01,000 --> 00:15:04,000
Yeah, you can't go
in there.
366
00:15:04,000 --> 00:15:06,000
Ah, look, let me just check
on that really quickly.
367
00:15:06,000 --> 00:15:10,000
It's, like, romance isn't all,
like, hearts and rainbows
368
00:15:11,000 --> 00:15:12,000
and -- and roses
and shit.
369
00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:16,000
Like, there's a darkness in it
and -- and we see it.
370
00:15:16,000 --> 00:15:18,000
And, like,
I think that's okay.
371
00:15:18,000 --> 00:15:21,000
Wait, h-how would you know
how I see it?
372
00:15:21,000 --> 00:15:23,000
'Cause of that night
in the motel.
373
00:15:23,000 --> 00:15:26,000
I mean, I-I knew
why you were there.
374
00:15:26,000 --> 00:15:29,000
Okay, um,
I thought we agreed
375
00:15:29,000 --> 00:15:31,000
that we were not gonna
talk about that night.
376
00:15:31,000 --> 00:15:35,000
Well, you said can we not talk
about it and I said okay.
377
00:15:35,000 --> 00:15:38,000
Okay, so are we not saying
okay anymore?
378
00:15:38,000 --> 00:15:40,000
You said Greta was a bitch
to you.
379
00:15:40,000 --> 00:15:41,000
Why wouldn't you
just tell her?
380
00:15:41,000 --> 00:15:44,000
I think that she would be
very upset.
381
00:15:44,000 --> 00:15:45,000
Okay? Like, very.
382
00:15:45,000 --> 00:15:46,000
So are we okay
not saying anything?
383
00:15:47,000 --> 00:15:48,000
[ Scoffs ]
It's just funny 'cause
384
00:15:48,000 --> 00:15:50,000
both of you keep saying
you're not something
385
00:15:50,000 --> 00:15:53,000
and it definitely feels
like "something" energy,
386
00:15:53,000 --> 00:15:56,000
and, ugh, I don't know what
I'm getting out of all this.
387
00:15:57,000 --> 00:15:58,000
Fuck.
This is not the conversation
388
00:15:58,000 --> 00:16:01,000
I want to be having
with you right now.
389
00:16:01,000 --> 00:16:06,000
Okay...what conversation
did you want to be having?
390
00:16:06,000 --> 00:16:08,000
I like you.
Okay?
391
00:16:08,000 --> 00:16:10,000
I-I want to be with you.
392
00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,000
Hi. Um, I need to talk to you
about something right now.
393
00:16:12,000 --> 00:16:14,000
It is, like,
very fucking critical.
394
00:16:14,000 --> 00:16:15,000
-Come on.
-Um, I am -- I'm sorry.
395
00:16:15,000 --> 00:16:17,000
I'm sorry.
Did you need saving?
396
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,000
Really badly.
I got you.
397
00:16:19,000 --> 00:16:21,000
My fucking mom will not
leave me the fuck alone.
398
00:16:21,000 --> 00:16:25,000
Why?
It's time for shots!
399
00:16:25,000 --> 00:16:27,000
Wait, what's going on
with your mom?
400
00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:30,000
[ Cellphone chimes ]
401
00:16:30,000 --> 00:16:32,000
[ Megan sighs ]
402
00:16:32,000 --> 00:16:36,000
You know, I'm sorry,
but my kids come first.
403
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:40,000
And I need a distraction
from this barrage of blame.
404
00:16:40,000 --> 00:16:41,000
Not -- Not blame.
405
00:16:42,000 --> 00:16:43,000
What I said was,
what do you --
406
00:16:43,000 --> 00:16:45,000
what do you think we did
to make Nathan feel
407
00:16:45,000 --> 00:16:47,000
like he needed to lie?
408
00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,000
Well, "we" means me.
409
00:16:49,000 --> 00:16:51,000
And I don't know
what I did.
410
00:16:51,000 --> 00:16:53,000
But apparently, you knew
he was lying all along.
411
00:16:53,000 --> 00:16:55,000
Well, I wondered.
[ Scoffs ]
412
00:16:55,000 --> 00:16:58,000
And if maybe part of what
made him do it
413
00:16:58,000 --> 00:17:00,000
is that he doesn't always
see us being honest?
414
00:17:00,000 --> 00:17:01,000
Okay, you know what?
Are we p-- Are we --
415
00:17:02,000 --> 00:17:03,000
Let's just -- I think we need --
we should just get the check.
416
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:07,000
Are we pretending
to have what we had?
417
00:17:07,000 --> 00:17:11,000
I think we put up
a pretty good front, okay?
418
00:17:13,000 --> 00:17:17,000
[ Cellphone chimes ]
419
00:17:17,000 --> 00:17:20,000
[ Sighs ] I can never remember
if this is Naomi's code
420
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:21,000
for everything is fine
421
00:17:21,000 --> 00:17:24,000
or everything
is definitely not fine.
422
00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:27,000
[ Line ringing ]
423
00:17:27,000 --> 00:17:29,000
[ Cellphone beeps ]
424
00:17:29,000 --> 00:17:30,000
[ Sighs ]
425
00:17:30,000 --> 00:17:32,000
I think we should go.
426
00:17:32,000 --> 00:17:34,000
We need to go.
What?
427
00:17:34,000 --> 00:17:36,000
I think we need to go.
No, we don't.
428
00:17:36,000 --> 00:17:38,000
Yeah, she's not
answering her phone.
429
00:17:38,000 --> 00:17:39,000
And I really want to go.
It doesn't matter.
430
00:17:39,000 --> 00:17:40,000
She doesn't -- She --
Hi!
431
00:17:40,000 --> 00:17:42,000
Come on.
Hi, hello!
432
00:17:42,000 --> 00:17:43,000
Check?
Are you kidding?
433
00:17:45,000 --> 00:17:47,000
[ Line ringing ]
434
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:51,000
[ Cellphone ringing ]
435
00:17:54,000 --> 00:17:56,000
What?
Megan:
436
00:17:56,000 --> 00:17:57,000
I don't know. Call her.
437
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:59,000
But she's not answering
her phone,
438
00:17:59,000 --> 00:18:00,000
so there's something's wrong.
439
00:18:00,000 --> 00:18:01,000
And we're coming to
get you right now.
440
00:18:02,000 --> 00:18:03,000
What? No!
I'm staying.
441
00:18:03,000 --> 00:18:04,000
Boy: Sex party!
442
00:18:04,000 --> 00:18:05,000
Okay, that's it!
443
00:18:05,000 --> 00:18:07,000
We are coming for you
right now.
444
00:18:07,000 --> 00:18:09,000
Oh, my God, Mom,
what is going on?
445
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,000
Like, you -- you know
446
00:18:11,000 --> 00:18:12,000
I've been going through
a hard time
447
00:18:12,000 --> 00:18:14,000
with, um, everything,
so --
448
00:18:14,000 --> 00:18:16,000
so can you just let me be
with my friends
449
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:18,000
and not all miserable
and depressed?
450
00:18:18,000 --> 00:18:19,000
Don't.
451
00:18:19,000 --> 00:18:22,000
A hard time
with the breakup?
452
00:18:22,000 --> 00:18:25,000
Well, with a lot of stuff,
but -- but yeah.
453
00:18:25,000 --> 00:18:26,000
Do. Not.
454
00:18:26,000 --> 00:18:29,000
Yeah, because it's hard for us
to understand
455
00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:30,000
how you could break up
with someone
456
00:18:30,000 --> 00:18:33,000
that you were never
dating.
457
00:18:33,000 --> 00:18:37,000
And please choose your next
words very carefully.
458
00:18:37,000 --> 00:18:42,000
Nathan!
Nathan, come swimming!
459
00:18:42,000 --> 00:18:44,000
W-Who told you?
It doesn't matter.
460
00:18:44,000 --> 00:18:47,000
Was it Naomi?
Why did you lie?
461
00:18:47,000 --> 00:18:50,000
Um...I don't know, Mom,
462
00:18:50,000 --> 00:18:51,000
maybe because you don't
want to hear the truth
463
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,000
and can't accept me
for who I am.
464
00:18:53,000 --> 00:18:55,000
Who told you?!
465
00:18:55,000 --> 00:18:57,000
Why did you lie?
466
00:18:57,000 --> 00:18:59,000
Oh, my God.
467
00:18:59,000 --> 00:19:03,000
You can't keep things from me
and then be mad at me for lying.
468
00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:05,000
You know what?
You're right.
469
00:19:05,000 --> 00:19:06,000
All of you are right.
470
00:19:06,000 --> 00:19:09,000
I do lie. I do.
471
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,000
Because there is no way
472
00:19:11,000 --> 00:19:14,000
I could ever tell you
the truth
473
00:19:14,000 --> 00:19:16,000
of how terrified I am
for you.
474
00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,000
You are my only son.
475
00:19:18,000 --> 00:19:22,000
And I would lay down
on train tracks for you.
476
00:19:22,000 --> 00:19:24,000
But I am so afraid
for you.
477
00:19:24,000 --> 00:19:29,000
So from now, on I will be
totally honest
478
00:19:29,000 --> 00:19:33,000
and tell you everything
you do not want to hear.
479
00:19:33,000 --> 00:19:35,000
Chingada!
Sorry.
480
00:19:35,000 --> 00:19:37,000
Riley: Hey, you can't go
crazy in there.
481
00:19:37,000 --> 00:19:39,000
[ Door slams ]
Nathan: Who told you?
482
00:19:39,000 --> 00:19:42,000
Hey, hey, I want to keep
talking to you.
483
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:45,000
Ugh, I feel like
we're the same person.
484
00:19:45,000 --> 00:19:47,000
'Cause I see how your mind
is working.
485
00:19:47,000 --> 00:19:49,000
Just, like, "How can I not
piss off this girl
486
00:19:50,000 --> 00:19:51,000
that just told me
she likes me
487
00:19:51,000 --> 00:19:53,000
so she doesn't go
blow everything up?"
488
00:19:54,000 --> 00:19:55,000
Are you gonna tell --
Are you gonna tell Greta?
489
00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:58,000
You fucking told
my mother?!
490
00:19:58,000 --> 00:19:59,000
No.
I -- She --
491
00:19:59,000 --> 00:20:02,000
She figured it out and then
I didn't cover fast enough.
492
00:20:02,000 --> 00:20:03,000
Okay, so why didn't you
tell me after?
493
00:20:03,000 --> 00:20:05,000
Okay, goodbye.
494
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,000
Wait, what are you
gonna go do right now?
495
00:20:06,000 --> 00:20:08,000
Hello!
Fuck! Ugh!
496
00:20:08,000 --> 00:20:10,000
Am I being really paranoid
or is she gonna go tell her?
497
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:13,000
Um, okay, but, like,
what the fuck with my mom?
498
00:20:13,000 --> 00:20:14,000
I'm a lying
piece of shit, okay?
499
00:20:14,000 --> 00:20:17,000
I am sorry.
I just -- I should've told you.
500
00:20:17,000 --> 00:20:19,000
I should've told Greta.
I just --
501
00:20:19,000 --> 00:20:21,000
I can only fix that one
right now, so I'm sorry, okay?
502
00:20:21,000 --> 00:20:25,000
I'm really sorry.
503
00:20:25,000 --> 00:20:26,000
Chester: I'm gonna see
if I can hold my breath
504
00:20:26,000 --> 00:20:28,000
for the whole
"Star-Spangled Banner"!
505
00:20:28,000 --> 00:20:29,000
-What?
-[ Laughs ]
506
00:20:29,000 --> 00:20:31,000
I'm really wondering
about those chocolates
507
00:20:31,000 --> 00:20:33,000
'cause shit's getting
fucked up.
508
00:20:33,000 --> 00:20:36,000
Like, this is some serious
Red Wedding vibes.
509
00:20:36,000 --> 00:20:41,000
♪♪
510
00:20:41,000 --> 00:20:44,000
-I'm leaving.
-Okay.
511
00:20:44,000 --> 00:20:45,000
Naomi: Okay?
512
00:20:46,000 --> 00:20:49,000
So, like, friends for 16
years,
513
00:20:50,000 --> 00:20:52,000
The 16-year friend
who dumped me
514
00:20:52,000 --> 00:20:54,000
to go to Winter Formal
with a guy?
515
00:20:54,000 --> 00:20:56,000
I --
You said it was okay!
516
00:20:56,000 --> 00:20:58,000
I obviously didn't mean it,
Naomi.
517
00:20:58,000 --> 00:21:01,000
H-How was I supposed
to know that?
518
00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,000
Because
you just should've!
519
00:21:03,000 --> 00:21:05,000
Just like you should've known
how much it sucked
520
00:21:05,000 --> 00:21:07,000
that you were sticking your
fingers in my brother's mouth
521
00:21:07,000 --> 00:21:09,000
and going on about how his hair
made you want to cum?
522
00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:11,000
He wasn't even into me!
523
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:13,000
That literally does not matter,
and you know that.
524
00:21:14,000 --> 00:21:15,000
I'm sorry if the Cooper thing
upsets you,
525
00:21:15,000 --> 00:21:17,000
but I guess,
I don't know,
526
00:21:17,000 --> 00:21:19,000
you reap what you sow
or whatever.
527
00:21:19,000 --> 00:21:23,000
Oh, you want to talk about
reaping what you sow?
528
00:21:23,000 --> 00:21:26,000
Because your sister-wife
over there hates you,
529
00:21:26,000 --> 00:21:29,000
and I'm not too in love
with you either right now.
530
00:21:29,000 --> 00:21:31,000
Is that it?
Really?!
531
00:21:31,000 --> 00:21:33,000
Also, for the future,
532
00:21:33,000 --> 00:21:37,000
I would really recommend
not fucking with a witch.
533
00:21:37,000 --> 00:21:42,000
♪♪
534
00:21:43,000 --> 00:21:44,000
Chester:
Nathan, come in!
535
00:21:44,000 --> 00:21:46,000
I kinda have to go.
What the fuck?
536
00:21:46,000 --> 00:21:51,000
It's a fucking party and no one
wants to fucking party with me!
537
00:21:51,000 --> 00:21:52,000
Fuck you all!
538
00:21:52,000 --> 00:21:54,000
You're all gonna
regret it!
539
00:21:54,000 --> 00:21:58,000
♪♪
540
00:21:58,000 --> 00:21:59,000
♪ If you can't shake ♪
541
00:22:00,000 --> 00:22:01,000
♪ If you can't shake ♪
542
00:22:01,000 --> 00:22:04,000
♪ If you can't shake,
if you can't shake ♪
543
00:22:04,000 --> 00:22:06,000
♪ I don't need no sleep ♪
544
00:22:06,000 --> 00:22:08,000
♪ I don't need no sleep ♪
545
00:22:08,000 --> 00:22:11,000
♪ I can lie down when I'm dead,
there's no rest for the ♪
546
00:22:11,000 --> 00:22:12,000
♪ Wicked ♪
547
00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,000
♪ I don't need no sleep ♪
548
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:16,000
♪ I don't need no sleep ♪
549
00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:19,000
♪ I can lie down when I'm dead,
there's no rest for the ♪
550
00:22:19,000 --> 00:22:22,000
[ Music muffles ]
551
00:22:22,000 --> 00:22:27,000
♪♪
552
00:22:27,000 --> 00:22:30,000
♪ Wicked ♪
[ Gasps ]
553
00:22:30,000 --> 00:22:33,000
Jesus fuck!
[ Laughing ]
554
00:22:33,000 --> 00:22:36,000
Oh, my God!
555
00:22:36,000 --> 00:22:38,000
Look at you!
556
00:22:38,000 --> 00:22:40,000
Yes!
557
00:22:40,000 --> 00:22:42,000
Come through, Titanic!
558
00:22:42,000 --> 00:22:44,000
Oh, my God.
I'm fine, I'm fine.
559
00:22:44,000 --> 00:22:46,000
I got it. [ Laughs ]
560
00:22:46,000 --> 00:22:49,000
Yes!
561
00:22:49,000 --> 00:22:51,000
Oh, fuck!
562
00:22:51,000 --> 00:22:52,000
Oh, my God.
Oh, my God!
563
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,000
-Oh, fuck!
-Oh, my God! It is so cold!
564
00:22:55,000 --> 00:22:58,000
-Okay, come on.
-It's so cold!
565
00:23:00,000 --> 00:23:01,000
[ Chester laughing ]
566
00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:04,000
I got you, I got you,
I got you.
567
00:23:06,000 --> 00:23:08,000
[ Door closes ]
568
00:23:18,000 --> 00:23:20,000
Here.
569
00:23:24,000 --> 00:23:26,000
Mmph.
570
00:23:26,000 --> 00:23:28,000
Fuck it.
I'm just gonna take a shower.
571
00:23:35,000 --> 00:23:37,000
[ Coughs, sniffs ]
572
00:23:39,000 --> 00:23:40,000
Whew!
573
00:23:40,000 --> 00:23:42,000
Are you cold?
574
00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:44,000
Um, no, I'm okay.
575
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:22,000
♪♪
576
00:24:22,000 --> 00:24:29,000
♪♪
577
00:24:29,000 --> 00:24:31,000
[ Shower turns on ]
578
00:24:31,000 --> 00:24:42,000
♪♪
579
00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:45,000
♪ Say it, say it, say it ♪
580
00:24:45,000 --> 00:24:46,000
♪ I need you to ♪
581
00:24:46,000 --> 00:24:49,000
♪ Say it, say it, say it ♪
582
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,000
♪ I know that you do ♪
583
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:52,000
Jesus fuck!
Sorry.
584
00:24:52,000 --> 00:24:54,000
Um, is --
is Delilah here?
585
00:24:54,000 --> 00:24:56,000
No!
586
00:24:56,000 --> 00:24:57,000
Sorry.
587
00:25:00,000 --> 00:25:02,000
♪ I need you to ♪
588
00:25:02,000 --> 00:25:06,000
♪♪
589
00:25:06,000 --> 00:25:08,000
Uh...
590
00:25:08,000 --> 00:25:11,000
I'm gonna go...
591
00:25:11,000 --> 00:25:12,000
finger-paint.
592
00:25:15,000 --> 00:25:17,000
Look, I-I feel bad
about the Naomi thing.
593
00:25:18,000 --> 00:25:19,000
It's not your fault.
594
00:25:19,000 --> 00:25:21,000
Um, but about
the other part.
595
00:25:22,000 --> 00:25:24,000
It's just, you and I aren't
right for each other.
596
00:25:24,000 --> 00:25:26,000
Remotely.
Like, in any way.
597
00:25:26,000 --> 00:25:27,000
Sure.
No, I-I get it.
598
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:30,000
Um, I just --
599
00:25:30,000 --> 00:25:32,000
I just want to say one thing
about the Panda Express thing.
600
00:25:32,000 --> 00:25:34,000
Okay, so, okay,
do you know how, like,
601
00:25:34,000 --> 00:25:37,000
Avery Foster got fingered
by the guy who ate Hot Cheetos
602
00:25:37,000 --> 00:25:39,000
and that's like
all anyone would talk about?
603
00:25:39,000 --> 00:25:41,000
And then she was so mad,
she was like, "Fuck it.
604
00:25:41,000 --> 00:25:43,000
If that's all they're
gonna talk about,
605
00:25:43,000 --> 00:25:45,000
I'm gonna get the student store
to sell better snacks,
606
00:25:45,000 --> 00:25:46,000
including Hot Cheetos,"
607
00:25:47,000 --> 00:25:50,000
and now she's like
the Hot Cheeto Hero?
608
00:25:50,000 --> 00:25:54,000
Well, I was just thinking,
with you, um...
609
00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:57,000
Is what I'm saying bad?
610
00:25:57,000 --> 00:25:59,000
Are you telling me
to own my story?
611
00:25:59,000 --> 00:26:02,000
Maybe?
612
00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,000
Sorry.
613
00:26:03,000 --> 00:26:04,000
It's just coming from
someone who's...
614
00:26:04,000 --> 00:26:07,000
so straight and cis
and not queer,
615
00:26:07,000 --> 00:26:08,000
it's just ugh, you know?
616
00:26:09,000 --> 00:26:10,000
I -- I --
Yeah, no, no,
617
00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:12,000
I'm sorry.
618
00:26:12,000 --> 00:26:18,000
♪♪
619
00:26:18,000 --> 00:26:24,000
♪♪
620
00:26:24,000 --> 00:26:26,000
Fuck!
621
00:26:26,000 --> 00:26:28,000
That was good!
622
00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:33,000
Oh, come on.
I have to get something.
623
00:26:33,000 --> 00:26:35,000
Oh, wait, wait, wait.
I wouldn't -- Um --
624
00:26:35,000 --> 00:26:37,000
Oh, shit, sorry.
625
00:26:37,000 --> 00:26:39,000
[ Door closes ]
626
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:43,000
[ Music continues in distance ]
627
00:26:51,000 --> 00:26:53,000
Aren't you freezing?
628
00:26:53,000 --> 00:26:55,000
Nathan: No, I'm fine.
629
00:27:03,000 --> 00:27:06,000
God, I'm fucked up.
630
00:27:08,000 --> 00:27:11,000
Um...
631
00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,000
I'm s-- I'm sorry
about Bo.
632
00:27:13,000 --> 00:27:14,000
No, it's not you.
633
00:27:14,000 --> 00:27:17,000
He just doesn't think that
we're right for each other.
634
00:27:19,000 --> 00:27:22,000
Yeah, well, um...
635
00:27:22,000 --> 00:27:24,000
You know, there are -- there
are
636
00:27:24,000 --> 00:27:27,000
not right for each other
who are actually, like,
637
00:27:27,000 --> 00:27:29,000
really right
for each other.
638
00:27:33,000 --> 00:27:34,000
Yeah, like who?
639
00:27:38,000 --> 00:27:39,000
Um...
640
00:27:39,000 --> 00:27:42,000
Actually, I-I-I can't think
of any right now,
641
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:45,000
but, um,
I'm sure they exist.
642
00:27:47,000 --> 00:27:51,000
And "opposites attract,"
right?
643
00:27:51,000 --> 00:27:54,000
God, I hate
that voicemail.
644
00:27:54,000 --> 00:27:58,000
I loved it.
645
00:27:58,000 --> 00:28:03,000
And I love that you're giving me
relationship advice right now.
646
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,000
Yeah, like I have
anything to offer.
647
00:28:14,000 --> 00:28:18,000
♪ Feel ♪
648
00:28:18,000 --> 00:28:20,000
♪ Feel, feel ♪
649
00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:22,000
♪ Feel the love, feel ♪
650
00:28:23,000 --> 00:28:26,000
♪ We can close our eyes
and feel the love ♪
651
00:28:26,000 --> 00:28:29,000
♪ Feel ♪
652
00:28:29,000 --> 00:28:33,000
♪ Feel ♪
653
00:28:33,000 --> 00:28:36,000
♪ Feel, feel, feel the love ♪
654
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:38,000
I just really want to
kiss you right now.
655
00:28:38,000 --> 00:28:41,000
♪ Close our eyes
and feel the love ♪
656
00:28:41,000 --> 00:28:44,000
♪ Feel ♪
657
00:28:46,000 --> 00:28:48,000
[ Gasps ]
658
00:28:52,000 --> 00:28:54,000
D-Do you actually?
659
00:28:54,000 --> 00:29:01,000
♪♪
660
00:29:01,000 --> 00:29:08,000
♪♪
661
00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:09,000
I'm so sorry.
662
00:29:09,000 --> 00:29:11,000
[ Door opens ]
663
00:29:11,000 --> 00:29:12,000
Shit.
664
00:29:12,000 --> 00:29:15,000
[ People cheering, laughing ]
665
00:29:15,000 --> 00:29:18,000
Hi. Um...
I just want to say that
666
00:29:18,000 --> 00:29:20,000
with the whole
Winter Formal thing,
667
00:29:20,000 --> 00:29:22,000
I fucking suck
and I'm sorry.
668
00:29:22,000 --> 00:29:26,000
And tonight I'm gonna bury this
like the Maori do --
669
00:29:26,000 --> 00:29:27,000
not in a cultural
appropriation way --
670
00:29:27,000 --> 00:29:29,000
but just because
it's time.
671
00:29:29,000 --> 00:29:31,000
And if you don't want
to be there, I get it,
672
00:29:31,000 --> 00:29:33,000
but if you were there
with me,
673
00:29:33,000 --> 00:29:35,000
I would really,
really love that.
674
00:29:40,000 --> 00:29:42,000
Delilah: Hi. Uh, can we bury
the placenta in your yard?
675
00:29:42,000 --> 00:29:43,000
It's good for plants.
676
00:29:43,000 --> 00:29:45,000
Riley:
Okay, y-yeah, sure.
677
00:29:45,000 --> 00:29:46,000
[ Loud bang, shrieking ]
678
00:29:46,000 --> 00:29:49,000
Oh, fuck!
679
00:29:49,000 --> 00:29:51,000
No!
680
00:29:51,000 --> 00:29:54,000
God damn it!
681
00:29:54,000 --> 00:29:56,000
Get the fuck out!
682
00:29:56,000 --> 00:29:58,000
Get out of here
right now!
683
00:29:58,000 --> 00:30:02,000
Go, go, right now!
684
00:30:02,000 --> 00:30:06,000
♪♪
685
00:30:06,000 --> 00:30:08,000
[ Door closes ]
686
00:30:08,000 --> 00:30:10,000
[ Whimpers ]
687
00:30:10,000 --> 00:30:12,000
[ Object clattering ]
[ Screaming ]
688
00:30:16,000 --> 00:30:19,000
♪ I'm scared I don't know ♪
689
00:30:19,000 --> 00:30:20,000
Oh.
690
00:30:20,000 --> 00:30:23,000
♪ What is honest ♪
691
00:30:23,000 --> 00:30:30,000
♪ You feel like a memory
I'm losing slowly ♪
692
00:30:30,000 --> 00:30:37,000
♪ Losing slowly ♪
693
00:30:37,000 --> 00:30:41,000
♪ Oh-oh-oh ♪
694
00:30:41,000 --> 00:30:43,000
♪ Oh-oh-oh-oh ♪
695
00:30:44,000 --> 00:30:47,000
I'm sorry for not being
a better friend.
696
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,000
Riley: What?
W-- No, what?
697
00:30:49,000 --> 00:30:54,000
I'm -- I'm the one who's
always
698
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:59,000
I need to be a lot better
at -- at that.
699
00:30:59,000 --> 00:31:01,000
And about that, did --
did Luz come find you?
700
00:31:01,000 --> 00:31:03,000
Wait.
Uh, can I say something first?
701
00:31:03,000 --> 00:31:07,000
'Cause if I don't say it
right now, I might not.
702
00:31:07,000 --> 00:31:10,000
So, um...
703
00:31:10,000 --> 00:31:13,000
that thing that y-you
asked me before
704
00:31:14,000 --> 00:31:15,000
at the pre-party?
705
00:31:15,000 --> 00:31:18,000
There's something I've been
noticing about myself.
706
00:31:18,000 --> 00:31:20,000
I -- I can like someone.
707
00:31:20,000 --> 00:31:22,000
Like, really like them.
708
00:31:22,000 --> 00:31:29,000
But when it comes to kissing
or making out or whatever,
709
00:31:29,000 --> 00:31:33,000
I don't want that.
710
00:31:33,000 --> 00:31:34,000
Oh.
711
00:31:34,000 --> 00:31:36,000
So I don't know
how it could work,
712
00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:40,000
like, between us.
713
00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:43,000
Even if
you wanted it to.
714
00:31:43,000 --> 00:31:47,000
Um, what I said
that night
715
00:31:47,000 --> 00:31:50,000
wasn't 'cause of
me not liking you.
716
00:31:52,000 --> 00:31:56,000
'Cause I never stopped
liking you.
717
00:31:56,000 --> 00:32:00,000
Um, I actually, um...
718
00:32:00,000 --> 00:32:02,000
I love you.
719
00:32:02,000 --> 00:32:06,000
♪ The soundtrack,
this is my saving grace ♪
720
00:32:06,000 --> 00:32:09,000
[ Both chuckling ]
721
00:32:10,000 --> 00:32:11,000
I love -- I love you.
722
00:32:12,000 --> 00:32:14,000
[ Both laughing ]
723
00:32:19,000 --> 00:32:21,000
Um...
724
00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:25,000
But, uh, that night
at the motel,
725
00:32:25,000 --> 00:32:28,000
um, I --
I left after I --
726
00:32:28,000 --> 00:32:29,000
[ Feedback shrieks ]
727
00:32:29,000 --> 00:32:31,000
-Run! Cops!
-[ Screams ]
728
00:32:31,000 --> 00:32:32,000
No!
729
00:32:32,000 --> 00:32:34,000
-No! No cops!
-Cops!
730
00:32:34,000 --> 00:32:35,000
Delilah: No!
Hi! It's just me!
731
00:32:35,000 --> 00:32:36,000
I'll turn the music back on
in a sec!
732
00:32:36,000 --> 00:32:38,000
I just need to say something
and I kinda need
733
00:32:38,000 --> 00:32:40,000
to say it for everyone!
734
00:32:40,000 --> 00:32:42,000
Um...
735
00:32:42,000 --> 00:32:43,000
[ Exhales sharply ]
736
00:32:43,000 --> 00:32:45,000
I haven't been
living in shame,
737
00:32:45,000 --> 00:32:48,000
but I also haven't
been living
738
00:32:48,000 --> 00:32:51,000
the truest version
of myself either.
739
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:55,000
And, uh, I just want to say
that, from experience,
740
00:32:55,000 --> 00:32:58,000
mm, secrets fucking suck.
741
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,000
And you should just be true
to yourself
742
00:33:00,000 --> 00:33:03,000
and own your story, but --
[ People muttering ]
743
00:33:03,000 --> 00:33:04,000
Okay!
Sorry, sorry, sorry!
744
00:33:04,000 --> 00:33:06,000
Um, you can go back
to body shots or whatever.
745
00:33:07,000 --> 00:33:08,000
Um, um...
746
00:33:11,000 --> 00:33:13,000
Uh, okay.
747
00:33:13,000 --> 00:33:15,000
Just so everyone knows --
748
00:33:15,000 --> 00:33:18,000
this is probably definitely
a coincidence and -- and --
749
00:33:18,000 --> 00:33:21,000
and not a racist thing --
but I'm Panda Express Girl!
750
00:33:21,000 --> 00:33:23,000
Okay, thanks! Bye!
751
00:33:23,000 --> 00:33:26,000
Oh, my God!
[ People murmuring ]
752
00:33:26,000 --> 00:33:27,000
-Panda Express Girl?
-I don't know.
753
00:33:28,000 --> 00:33:31,000
-Put the music back on!
-Yeah, right?
754
00:33:31,000 --> 00:33:33,000
♪ I don't wanna know
that you judge my shit ♪
755
00:33:33,000 --> 00:33:37,000
♪ When you're drunk, 4 a.m.,
at a CVS store ♪
756
00:33:37,000 --> 00:33:39,000
♪ Why you try to fight me,
you weak-ass bitch? ♪
757
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:42,000
♪ Too much drug, can't hold up,
crying on the floor ♪
758
00:33:42,000 --> 00:33:44,000
Mom and Dad
are almost here.
759
00:33:44,000 --> 00:33:46,000
♪ Tok tok, tik tik, tok tok ♪
760
00:33:46,000 --> 00:33:48,000
♪ I'm banging every member
from BTS ♪
761
00:33:48,000 --> 00:33:52,000
♪ Tik tik, tok tok,
tik tik, tok tok ♪
762
00:33:52,000 --> 00:33:54,000
Yeah, that was
my night, too.
763
00:33:54,000 --> 00:33:57,000
At one point I just had to
lock myself in the bathroom
764
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,000
and play "Candy Crush."
765
00:34:01,000 --> 00:34:04,000
And I hate everyone
except you.
766
00:34:07,000 --> 00:34:08,000
[ Cellphone swishes ]
767
00:34:08,000 --> 00:34:09,000
[ Cellphone chimes ]
768
00:34:09,000 --> 00:34:12,000
Ugh, I forgot to cancel
tennis tomorrow.
769
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,000
Mark: I think we need
to take a break.
770
00:34:36,000 --> 00:34:37,000
Mom?
771
00:34:45,000 --> 00:34:51,000
♪♪
772
00:34:51,000 --> 00:34:56,000
♪♪
773
00:34:56,000 --> 00:34:59,000
♪ This riddle that I know ♪
774
00:34:59,000 --> 00:35:01,000
♪ Keeps coming back for more ♪
775
00:35:01,000 --> 00:35:05,000
♪ And though I ♪
776
00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:08,000
♪ Have solved it all before ♪
777
00:35:08,000 --> 00:35:13,000
♪ I don't remember
how anymore ♪
778
00:35:13,000 --> 00:35:21,000
♪ But I'll try to find my way
back home ♪
779
00:35:21,000 --> 00:35:23,000
♪ Can you hear me calling? ♪
780
00:35:23,000 --> 00:35:25,000
♪ Can you hear me calling? ♪
781
00:35:25,000 --> 00:35:28,000
♪ Too lost to be found ♪
782
00:35:28,000 --> 00:35:30,000
[ Line ringing ]
783
00:35:33,000 --> 00:35:35,000
Sam: Chester?
Hi.
784
00:35:35,000 --> 00:35:38,000
♪ Too lost to be ♪
785
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:39,000
Are you okay?
786
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:41,000
Sorry it's the middle
of the night.
787
00:35:41,000 --> 00:35:43,000
W-Where are you?
788
00:35:43,000 --> 00:35:45,000
I-I'm just, um...
789
00:35:45,000 --> 00:35:48,000
I'm sitting outside.
790
00:35:50,000 --> 00:35:52,000
Are you okay?
791
00:35:52,000 --> 00:35:54,000
Yeah.
792
00:35:57,000 --> 00:35:59,000
[ Sighs ]
793
00:36:01,000 --> 00:36:03,000
I'm sorry, Sam.
794
00:36:06,000 --> 00:36:08,000
It's okay.
795
00:36:09,000 --> 00:36:11,000
It's really okay.
796
00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,000
Is it?
797
00:36:15,000 --> 00:36:17,000
Yeah.
798
00:36:17,000 --> 00:36:19,000
Yeah, it is.
799
00:36:25,000 --> 00:36:28,000
Would it be okay if we just
sat
800
00:36:28,000 --> 00:36:31,000
and didn't say anything?
801
00:36:31,000 --> 00:36:33,000
Yeah.
802
00:37:01,000 --> 00:37:03,000
Are you still there?
803
00:37:04,000 --> 00:37:05,000
Yeah.
804
00:37:10,000 --> 00:37:12,000
Thank you, Sam.
805
00:37:15,000 --> 00:37:17,000
Good night, Chester.
806
00:37:40,000 --> 00:37:43,000
[ Wind whistling ]
807
00:37:45,000 --> 00:37:47,000
[ Footsteps approaching ]
808
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:57,000
It's you.
809
00:38:00,000 --> 00:38:05,000
♪ I wanna be wild and young ♪
810
00:38:05,000 --> 00:38:12,000
♪ And not be afraid to lose ♪
811
00:38:12,000 --> 00:38:15,000
♪ Cry on my own ♪
812
00:38:15,000 --> 00:38:18,000
♪ Me and my bottle ♪
813
00:38:18,000 --> 00:38:23,000
♪ These are the things
I choose ♪
814
00:38:23,000 --> 00:38:28,000
♪ But they're watching me,
judging me ♪
815
00:38:28,000 --> 00:38:30,000
♪ Making me feel so used ♪
816
00:38:30,000 --> 00:38:32,000
♪ Can't you see ♪
817
00:38:32,000 --> 00:38:36,000
♪ That all I wanna do is ♪
818
00:38:36,000 --> 00:38:39,000
♪ Get a little wild ♪
819
00:38:39,000 --> 00:38:42,000
♪ Get a little high ♪
820
00:38:42,000 --> 00:38:48,000
♪ Kiss a hundred boys and not
feel like I'm tied to them ♪
821
00:38:48,000 --> 00:38:54,000
♪ If you wanna judge me,
then go and load the gun ♪
822
00:38:54,000 --> 00:38:56,000
♪ I've done nothing wrong ♪
823
00:38:56,000 --> 00:39:00,000
♪ I'm young ♪
824
00:39:00,000 --> 00:39:03,000
♪ Get a little wild ♪
825
00:39:03,000 --> 00:39:06,000
♪ Get a little high ♪
826
00:39:06,000 --> 00:39:12,000
♪ Kiss a hundred boys and not
feel like I'm tied to them ♪
827
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:17,000
♪ If you wanna judge me,
then go and load the gun ♪
828
00:39:17,000 --> 00:39:19,000
♪ I've done nothing wrong ♪
829
00:39:19,000 --> 00:39:20,000
♪ I'm young ♪
54693
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