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♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪
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00:00:03,990 --> 00:00:07,340
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪
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00:00:07,380 --> 00:00:11,010
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪
4
00:00:11,050 --> 00:00:13,830
♪ On which we used to rely?
5
00:00:13,870 --> 00:00:17,430
♪ Lucky there's a family guy
6
00:00:17,490 --> 00:00:20,800
♪ Lucky there's a man
who positively can do ♪
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00:00:20,840 --> 00:00:22,370
♪ All the things that make us
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00:00:22,410 --> 00:00:24,140
♪ Laugh and cry
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00:00:24,180 --> 00:00:29,350
♪ He's... a...
Fam... ily... Guy! ♪
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Hi, there.
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00:00:40,260 --> 00:00:42,230
Hi. I'm Cindy.
12
00:00:42,260 --> 00:00:43,530
The only way I
believe I'm pretty
13
00:00:43,530 --> 00:00:45,110
is if strangers
have sex with me.
14
00:00:45,150 --> 00:00:47,900
Well, maybe I could help fill
you up with self-confidence.
15
00:00:47,930 --> 00:00:49,170
Brian.
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00:00:49,200 --> 00:00:50,180
Hello there, sexy.
17
00:00:50,220 --> 00:00:51,170
Hey, do you mind?
18
00:00:51,200 --> 00:00:52,440
We were having
a conversation.
19
00:00:52,470 --> 00:00:56,020
My house has 8,000 square feet,
zero bookshelves.
20
00:00:56,060 --> 00:00:58,440
Wow, that's impressive.
21
00:00:58,480 --> 00:01:00,330
I'm a writer,
published twice.
22
00:01:00,360 --> 00:01:02,050
I own a cinder block yard.
23
00:01:02,080 --> 00:01:04,300
Have over 12,000
cinder blocks.
24
00:01:04,330 --> 00:01:07,130
If you ever need cinder block,
I can get you good price.
25
00:01:07,170 --> 00:01:08,250
Thank you.
26
00:01:08,290 --> 00:01:10,990
I-I have a six-CD changer,
so you can pretty much
27
00:01:11,020 --> 00:01:13,370
fill the tray
and create a world.
28
00:01:13,410 --> 00:01:14,710
Come have sex with me.
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00:01:14,740 --> 00:01:17,560
My mother will make you
farkshekoosh when we are done.
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00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:19,900
Okay.
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00:01:19,950 --> 00:01:21,370
Wait!
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00:01:21,400 --> 00:01:23,680
I have a time machine.
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You do?
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00:01:25,320 --> 00:01:26,350
Yeah, you want to see it?
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00:01:26,390 --> 00:01:28,660
Yes, I want to see it!
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00:01:28,690 --> 00:01:29,960
Better luck next time, pal.
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00:01:29,990 --> 00:01:31,860
Some people got moves,
others don't.
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00:01:31,880 --> 00:01:33,030
Been that way forever.
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You.
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00:01:34,050 --> 00:01:36,280
Me. Sex.
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Him legend.
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Shh.
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00:01:45,290 --> 00:01:48,640
Why do you keep a sleeping baby
in your time machine room?
44
00:01:48,680 --> 00:01:51,230
I-I don't know,
my decorator's terrible.
45
00:01:52,900 --> 00:01:54,880
(whooshing)
46
00:02:05,580 --> 00:02:06,830
Where are we?
47
00:02:06,860 --> 00:02:09,980
Ford's Theater,
April 14, 1865.
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00:02:10,010 --> 00:02:11,930
Ooh, Valentine's Day.
49
00:02:11,970 --> 00:02:13,430
How romantic.
50
00:02:13,470 --> 00:02:16,400
Uh, yeah, sure,
you know me.
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00:02:16,440 --> 00:02:17,600
(moaning)
52
00:02:17,640 --> 00:02:19,170
(gunshot)
53
00:02:19,210 --> 00:02:20,370
(all gasping)
54
00:02:20,380 --> 00:02:22,680
Oh, my God,
the president's been shot!
55
00:02:22,710 --> 00:02:24,750
If you ask me, the
president's the lucky one.
56
00:02:24,760 --> 00:02:25,270
How's that?
57
00:02:25,280 --> 00:02:27,800
He doesn't have to sit
through the rest of the show.
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00:02:27,830 --> 00:02:29,100
(both laughing)
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00:02:29,130 --> 00:02:30,430
(gunshot)
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00:02:32,950 --> 00:02:34,960
(door creaks)
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00:02:37,290 --> 00:02:38,880
(murmuring)
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00:02:38,910 --> 00:02:40,960
Yes, I'd like
to return this printer.
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00:02:43,310 --> 00:02:45,750
(whooshing)
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00:02:45,780 --> 00:02:47,870
HERBERT MORRISON: The frame iscrashing to the ground,
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not quite to the mooring mast!Oh, the humanity!
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00:02:50,150 --> 00:02:51,760
And all the passengersscreaming around here!
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00:02:51,790 --> 00:02:54,140
And just when you thoughtit couldn't get any worse,
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00:02:54,180 --> 00:02:56,380
there's a dog having sexwith a woman!
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00:02:56,410 --> 00:02:58,830
Oh, I know I said,"Oh, the humanity!" before,
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00:02:58,860 --> 00:03:01,230
but seriously, oh, the humanityeven more right now!
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00:03:01,270 --> 00:03:03,150
I mean, come on!
72
00:03:08,190 --> 00:03:10,940
So that's what restaurants
were like before desegregation.
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00:03:10,980 --> 00:03:13,390
It was quiet.
It was quiet.
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00:03:17,030 --> 00:03:18,920
Wow, Brian,
you've had quite a string
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00:03:18,950 --> 00:03:20,980
of female guests
spend the night lately.
76
00:03:21,020 --> 00:03:22,890
Yeah, whatever you're doing,
it's working.
77
00:03:22,920 --> 00:03:24,990
You should see the way
I have to pick up chicks.
78
00:03:26,190 --> 00:03:27,320
Hi.
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00:03:27,360 --> 00:03:29,390
(giggling)
80
00:03:32,660 --> 00:03:33,860
(whooshing)
81
00:03:33,900 --> 00:03:36,670
Well, I guess you can call
me the Man of La Muncha.
82
00:03:36,700 --> 00:03:37,950
(laughs)
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00:03:37,990 --> 00:03:40,050
Hey, why does your
time machine have a sticker
84
00:03:40,090 --> 00:03:42,020
that says
"property of Stewie Griffin?"
85
00:03:42,060 --> 00:03:44,690
Uh, well, I-I...
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00:03:44,730 --> 00:03:46,290
(sighs)
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00:03:46,330 --> 00:03:47,760
All right, to be
completely honest,
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00:03:47,800 --> 00:03:49,880
and because we've already
had sex, it's not mine.
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00:03:49,910 --> 00:03:52,700
I use it all the time,
and the owner has no idea.
90
00:03:52,730 --> 00:03:54,370
In fact, he'd
kill me if he knew.
91
00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:56,490
Really? Won't he see that thing
on the control panel
92
00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:57,790
that says "years traveled"?
93
00:03:57,820 --> 00:03:59,320
What thing?
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00:04:01,990 --> 00:04:04,430
Here's where Brian goes berserk.
95
00:04:04,460 --> 00:04:06,480
(yelling)
96
00:04:09,230 --> 00:04:11,700
(yelling continues)
97
00:04:15,890 --> 00:04:19,190
(yelling winds down)
98
00:04:19,210 --> 00:04:20,910
Look, it's no big deal.
99
00:04:20,960 --> 00:04:22,860
Just reverse it
and take off the miles.
100
00:04:22,900 --> 00:04:25,530
That's what I do
when I take my dad's car out.
101
00:04:25,550 --> 00:04:27,550
Are you... are you 16?
102
00:04:27,590 --> 00:04:29,290
I will be next September.
103
00:04:29,320 --> 00:04:30,720
Well, I think someone
104
00:04:30,760 --> 00:04:34,120
has a Barnes & Noble gift card
coming for their silence.
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00:04:40,130 --> 00:04:41,770
(groaning)
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00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:43,000
(grunts, glass breaks)
107
00:04:47,790 --> 00:04:49,670
(electrical hissing)
108
00:04:51,890 --> 00:04:53,640
(high-pitched chirping)
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00:04:53,680 --> 00:04:55,260
(electrical hissing)
110
00:04:57,450 --> 00:04:59,670
Brian, what the hell
are you doing in here?
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00:04:59,700 --> 00:05:01,120
What's happening
to my time machine?
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00:05:01,170 --> 00:05:02,290
I-I don't know, man.
113
00:05:02,340 --> 00:05:04,000
I-I saw Meg leaving
a minute ago,
114
00:05:04,040 --> 00:05:05,520
going, "Wah-ha-ha-ha-ha,"
but I-I don't know.
115
00:05:05,560 --> 00:05:08,680
(loud, droning whirring)
116
00:05:10,930 --> 00:05:12,180
(whooshing,
electrical hissing)
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00:05:12,210 --> 00:05:14,210
(explosive pop, whirring)
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00:05:20,090 --> 00:05:22,440
Oh, my God, it's having
a complete meltdown!
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00:05:24,230 --> 00:05:26,560
(electrical hissing, beeps)
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00:05:26,590 --> 00:05:27,760
(loud whooshing)
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00:05:27,800 --> 00:05:30,300
(yelling)
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00:05:40,880 --> 00:05:42,280
What happened?
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00:05:42,310 --> 00:05:43,710
I don't know.
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00:05:43,740 --> 00:05:46,110
(steam hissing)
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00:05:46,150 --> 00:05:48,700
Dear God, my
time machine!
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00:05:50,650 --> 00:05:53,040
You, uh... you want
to tell me about this?
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00:05:53,070 --> 00:05:55,040
See? I told you.
It was Meg.
128
00:05:55,070 --> 00:05:56,310
I don't think so.
129
00:05:56,340 --> 00:05:58,240
The crotch doesn't
look like a BMX track.
130
00:05:58,280 --> 00:06:00,210
You bastard! You've been
using my time machine
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00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:01,480
to nail your
bar skanks!
132
00:06:01,510 --> 00:06:03,210
Oh, come on,
they're not all bad.
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00:06:03,250 --> 00:06:05,420
Oh, yes, I've seen the
women you bring home.
134
00:06:05,450 --> 00:06:07,570
That stutterer?
She was a real prize.
135
00:06:07,600 --> 00:06:09,470
How are you enjoying
your meal?
136
00:06:09,500 --> 00:06:13,340
L-L-Lois, it's
d-d-d-delicious.
137
00:06:13,370 --> 00:06:14,990
Oh, for crying out loud.
138
00:06:15,030 --> 00:06:17,310
Peter, why are you turning up
the heat again?
139
00:06:17,330 --> 00:06:19,830
Lois, this woman
is obviously freezing.
140
00:06:19,860 --> 00:06:21,430
Brian, I want
you to tell me
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00:06:21,470 --> 00:06:23,270
exactly what you did
to my time machine.
142
00:06:23,300 --> 00:06:26,120
Well, I didn't want you
to find out I'd been using it,
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00:06:26,150 --> 00:06:29,020
so I tried turning the
chronological gauge backward.
144
00:06:29,060 --> 00:06:30,860
It's not designed to
go backward, Brian.
145
00:06:30,890 --> 00:06:33,760
The question is, how
am I going to fix it?
146
00:06:33,790 --> 00:06:36,160
What the hell?
147
00:06:46,470 --> 00:06:49,810
Dear God,
everything's moving backward.
148
00:06:49,840 --> 00:06:51,210
What? What are
you talking about?
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00:06:51,250 --> 00:06:53,150
I don't know
what the hell you did
150
00:06:53,180 --> 00:06:54,610
with all your
messing around, Brian,
151
00:06:54,650 --> 00:06:55,850
but somehow my machine seems
152
00:06:55,880 --> 00:06:57,580
to have reversed
the direction of time.
153
00:06:57,620 --> 00:06:59,150
Reversed the
direction of time?
154
00:06:59,190 --> 00:07:00,650
Stewie, what does
that even mean?
155
00:07:00,690 --> 00:07:01,970
I don't get it.
156
00:07:06,510 --> 00:07:07,880
Oh, ok, now I get it.
157
00:07:19,590 --> 00:07:22,320
Stewie, you can't just change
the direction of time.
158
00:07:22,360 --> 00:07:23,450
H-How is this even possible?
159
00:07:23,460 --> 00:07:24,710
Well, clearly,
when you attempted
160
00:07:24,740 --> 00:07:26,620
to reverse the gauge
on my time machine,
161
00:07:26,660 --> 00:07:28,880
you somehow released a quantum
shock wave powerful enough
162
00:07:28,910 --> 00:07:31,300
to push the flow of time
in the opposite direction.
163
00:07:31,330 --> 00:07:34,580
I can only surmise that you and
I were isolated from its effects
164
00:07:34,620 --> 00:07:36,150
because we were inside
the machine
165
00:07:36,180 --> 00:07:37,630
at the moment
of temporal inversion.
166
00:07:37,670 --> 00:07:39,650
Are you...
are you sleeping?
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00:07:39,690 --> 00:07:41,760
Huh? No, no, I...
No, I was listening.
168
00:07:41,790 --> 00:07:44,490
What kind of jerk alters time,
and then falls asleep?
169
00:07:44,530 --> 00:07:47,610
Look, I'm sorry, Stewie,
but do you think you can fix it?
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00:07:47,650 --> 00:07:50,000
Well, it's gonna take a while
to rebuild the machine,
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00:07:50,030 --> 00:07:52,180
and even longer to
recalibrate it for normal time,
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00:07:52,220 --> 00:07:54,180
but I've taken on
bigger challenges before.
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00:07:54,220 --> 00:07:57,820
I had to explain to America why
Heidi Klum broke up with Seal.
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00:07:57,860 --> 00:08:00,090
Face.
175
00:08:01,530 --> 00:08:04,080
There, now you've got
a fresh new diaper, Stewie.
176
00:08:04,110 --> 00:08:05,730
What are you talking about?
177
00:08:05,760 --> 00:08:07,410
What's going on?
178
00:08:07,450 --> 00:08:10,480
I think you're getting
a diaper change.
179
00:08:10,520 --> 00:08:12,950
Aah! Get that poop-filled thing
away from me!
180
00:08:12,990 --> 00:08:16,010
No! Oh, God,
it's cold!
181
00:08:16,040 --> 00:08:19,260
Whew! Smells like somebody
needs a diaper change.
182
00:08:19,290 --> 00:08:20,460
Damn right I do!
183
00:08:20,500 --> 00:08:22,030
Now, get this turd-filled
sack off...
184
00:08:22,060 --> 00:08:24,600
Oh, my God,
it just went back in my body.
185
00:08:25,870 --> 00:08:27,800
Hey, look, what's
wrong with Peter?
186
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,300
(snoring)
187
00:08:30,340 --> 00:08:32,710
Oh, you smell that?
He's passed out drunk.
188
00:08:32,740 --> 00:08:35,040
Does no one in this house
have any dignity?
189
00:08:35,080 --> 00:08:36,640
(whooshing)
190
00:08:36,680 --> 00:08:39,410
Hey, Lois, I'm home from
the Clam, and I'm horny.
191
00:08:49,820 --> 00:08:52,430
(tires squealing)
192
00:08:54,600 --> 00:08:57,280
(tires squealing)
193
00:08:57,320 --> 00:09:00,020
Hmm. Seems like reverse
time did that kid a favor.
194
00:09:00,050 --> 00:09:01,820
I'm not so sure about that.
195
00:09:03,140 --> 00:09:06,040
Stand up! You're gonna
break that thermometer!
196
00:09:12,660 --> 00:09:14,680
My God, it's...
it's extraordinary.
197
00:09:14,720 --> 00:09:16,080
They all seem to be
198
00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:18,850
completely unaware
that anything is amiss.
199
00:09:18,890 --> 00:09:20,890
(squeaking)
200
00:09:24,780 --> 00:09:26,890
(squeaking)
201
00:09:29,850 --> 00:09:32,220
"Your trash barrels
were a little close
202
00:09:32,250 --> 00:09:34,550
"to our driveway. Joe.
203
00:09:34,590 --> 00:09:36,450
"P.S. Please close
the windows
204
00:09:36,490 --> 00:09:38,460
"when you're giving
piano lessons.
205
00:09:38,490 --> 00:09:41,390
My legs don't work,
but my ears do."
206
00:09:42,930 --> 00:09:46,000
Brian, what are you doing
staring in Quagmire's window?
207
00:09:46,030 --> 00:09:48,870
Man, watching sex
in reverse is just bizarre.
208
00:10:00,130 --> 00:10:02,380
God, where does Quagmire
meet these women?
209
00:10:02,410 --> 00:10:03,880
(moaning)
210
00:10:07,140 --> 00:10:09,150
This is why Boxbuster
went out of business.
211
00:10:09,190 --> 00:10:11,100
Hey, what's going on
over there?
212
00:10:14,780 --> 00:10:16,310
(both gasp)
213
00:10:21,680 --> 00:10:23,570
My God, look at all
this devastation!
214
00:10:23,600 --> 00:10:24,670
What the hell happened?
215
00:10:24,720 --> 00:10:25,900
(whoosh, chicken clucks)
216
00:10:25,940 --> 00:10:29,340
(grunting)
217
00:10:29,390 --> 00:10:30,760
(clucks)
(grunts)
218
00:10:30,790 --> 00:10:33,310
(yelling)
219
00:10:33,340 --> 00:10:34,590
(grunts)
220
00:10:34,630 --> 00:10:37,600
(grunting)
221
00:10:37,630 --> 00:10:41,270
(groans)
222
00:10:41,300 --> 00:10:45,440
(slow-motion groaning)
223
00:10:45,470 --> 00:10:47,470
(grunting)
224
00:10:51,950 --> 00:10:54,670
(high-pitched whirring)
225
00:10:54,700 --> 00:10:56,700
(airplane engine whirring)
226
00:11:00,220 --> 00:11:04,830
(tires squealing, thudding)
227
00:11:04,860 --> 00:11:08,810
(grunting)
228
00:11:08,850 --> 00:11:10,850
(screaming)
229
00:11:17,020 --> 00:11:18,910
Okay, Seamus, today's the day
230
00:11:18,940 --> 00:11:20,840
you finally ask out
that barista.
231
00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:22,740
What's the worst
that could happen?
232
00:11:40,240 --> 00:11:42,430
You know, that chicken's kid
is in my preschool class.
233
00:11:42,460 --> 00:11:44,300
I don't really want
to be friends with him,
234
00:11:44,330 --> 00:11:45,730
but he knows a lot of chicks.
235
00:11:45,770 --> 00:11:47,530
And backwards rim shot.
236
00:11:47,570 --> 00:11:49,420
(backwards rim shot)
237
00:11:51,640 --> 00:11:54,590
Oh, Brian, this is gonna be
more difficult than I thought.
238
00:11:54,630 --> 00:11:56,630
Damn it, I hate
these new stairs!
239
00:11:56,660 --> 00:11:58,650
(screaming)
240
00:11:58,680 --> 00:12:01,310
(bleep, bleep, bleep, bleep)
241
00:12:01,350 --> 00:12:02,550
(thumping, bleep)
242
00:12:02,580 --> 00:12:04,270
What are you watching?
243
00:12:04,300 --> 00:12:05,940
Meet the Press;
it's really weird.
244
00:12:05,970 --> 00:12:08,770
In reverse time, the Republicans
make outrageous statements
245
00:12:08,810 --> 00:12:11,510
and then the host asks
an unrelated question.
246
00:12:11,580 --> 00:12:13,380
Global warming is a myth.
247
00:12:13,410 --> 00:12:16,580
God created everything, and
the world is getting colder!
248
00:12:16,610 --> 00:12:19,150
What is your tax plan?
249
00:12:19,180 --> 00:12:20,280
That's odd.
250
00:12:20,320 --> 00:12:21,390
What?
251
00:12:22,650 --> 00:12:26,610
Man, we got a large number
of clovers on our lawn.
252
00:12:26,640 --> 00:12:30,410
No, no, no, no, no, no!
253
00:12:30,430 --> 00:12:32,230
Oh, hey, Cleveland.
254
00:12:35,680 --> 00:12:38,120
Australia, here I come.
255
00:12:38,150 --> 00:12:39,420
Look at that, Brian.
256
00:12:39,450 --> 00:12:41,440
Cleveland is back living
across the street.
257
00:12:41,470 --> 00:12:43,410
Cleveland left Quahog
quite some time ago,
258
00:12:43,440 --> 00:12:45,810
yet we only just recently
entered reverse time.
259
00:12:45,840 --> 00:12:47,290
So what does that mean?
260
00:12:47,330 --> 00:12:50,300
Well, it suggests that time may
not simply be flowing backwards;
261
00:12:50,330 --> 00:12:52,220
it may, in fact,
be accelerating.
262
00:12:52,250 --> 00:12:54,020
Accelerating?
Why would that be happening?
263
00:12:54,050 --> 00:12:55,150
I'm not sure.
264
00:12:55,190 --> 00:12:56,420
Have you ever heard
of a phenomenon
265
00:12:56,450 --> 00:12:57,990
called time dilation, Brian?
266
00:12:58,020 --> 00:12:59,060
Sure.
No, you haven't.
267
00:12:59,090 --> 00:13:00,820
Time dilation,
in forward time,
268
00:13:00,860 --> 00:13:02,730
is a phenomenon caused
by a variety of factors
269
00:13:02,760 --> 00:13:04,960
in which time
moves more slowly.
270
00:13:05,000 --> 00:13:06,930
In reverse time,
it stands to reason
271
00:13:06,960 --> 00:13:09,300
that the same phenomenon would
cause time to accelerate.
272
00:13:09,330 --> 00:13:11,400
I'll have to consult
my quantum calculations
273
00:13:11,440 --> 00:13:13,900
to try to isolate the
factors responsible.
274
00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:19,330
What the hell was that?
275
00:13:19,360 --> 00:13:21,230
This is more intense
than when I fought a rabbit
276
00:13:21,260 --> 00:13:22,660
in that karate tournament.
277
00:13:22,700 --> 00:13:24,500
That's weird. You're doing
reverse cutaways now?
278
00:13:24,530 --> 00:13:26,580
What the hell is... (screams)
What? What's the matter?
279
00:13:30,610 --> 00:13:32,940
Dear God, I'm un-teething.
280
00:13:32,970 --> 00:13:35,160
Brian, it appears the
flow of reverse time
281
00:13:35,190 --> 00:13:36,830
is beginning to
affect us as well.
282
00:13:36,860 --> 00:13:38,360
What does that mean?
283
00:13:38,400 --> 00:13:40,730
It means I'm going to have
to relive everything.
284
00:13:40,770 --> 00:13:42,800
Every painful,
awkward moment.
285
00:13:42,830 --> 00:13:44,870
Like that time I forgot
what came after "G"
286
00:13:44,900 --> 00:13:46,240
and had to fake it.
287
00:13:46,270 --> 00:13:49,770
♪ A, B, C, D, E, F, G...
288
00:13:49,810 --> 00:13:53,280
♪ H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O, P
♪ Ah-blah, blah-blah, blah-nah-wah ♪
289
00:13:53,310 --> 00:13:57,210
♪ Q, R, S, T, U, V
♪ Standing here with these kids ♪
290
00:13:57,250 --> 00:14:01,150
♪ W, X, Y and Z
♪ Waiting for the song to end ♪
291
00:14:01,190 --> 00:14:04,520
♪ Now I know my A-B-Cs
♪ Yankee Doodle went to town
292
00:14:04,560 --> 00:14:08,830
♪ Next time won't you sing with me? ♪
♪ Now I know my A-B-Cs.
293
00:14:08,860 --> 00:14:10,990
(crying, groaning)
294
00:14:11,030 --> 00:14:12,100
What the devil is that?
295
00:14:12,130 --> 00:14:13,260
It's Peter and Chris.
296
00:14:13,300 --> 00:14:15,030
Sounds like they're
in trouble.
297
00:14:15,070 --> 00:14:18,600
(groaning)
298
00:14:18,640 --> 00:14:20,770
My God, why is there
vomit everywhere?
299
00:14:20,810 --> 00:14:22,320
Is that the Ipecac bottle?
300
00:14:22,360 --> 00:14:23,560
Oh, no.
301
00:14:23,590 --> 00:14:24,760
No, please, not this.
302
00:14:24,790 --> 00:14:26,830
Oh, God, it's not gonna be
coming out of us;
303
00:14:26,860 --> 00:14:28,380
it's gonna be going...
(vomit noise)
304
00:14:28,410 --> 00:14:30,550
Oh, dear God...
305
00:14:30,580 --> 00:14:32,070
(groaning)
306
00:14:32,100 --> 00:14:34,080
Aah! What the hell?
307
00:14:35,520 --> 00:14:38,190
I don't wanna!
I don't wanna!
308
00:14:38,220 --> 00:14:40,240
Dad, I'm scared.
309
00:14:41,510 --> 00:14:43,830
(crying)
310
00:14:43,860 --> 00:14:45,530
Oh, God, this is so disgusting.
311
00:14:45,560 --> 00:14:48,110
I think I'm gonna puke.
312
00:14:48,150 --> 00:14:49,870
(bleep)
313
00:14:49,930 --> 00:14:51,950
(coughing)
314
00:14:54,790 --> 00:14:56,820
Stewie, I don't care
what it takes.
315
00:14:56,860 --> 00:14:58,930
We have got to fix this.
316
00:14:58,960 --> 00:15:01,530
We just ate so much vomit.
317
00:15:01,560 --> 00:15:03,760
Brian, it gets worse.
318
00:15:03,800 --> 00:15:07,870
Look.
319
00:15:07,900 --> 00:15:09,870
Yeah, Bonnie's pregnant
with Susie. So?
320
00:15:09,900 --> 00:15:12,140
That means Susie's
been un-born.
321
00:15:12,170 --> 00:15:13,770
Oh, my God.
322
00:15:13,810 --> 00:15:15,690
Stewie, you're not
that much older than Susie.
323
00:15:15,730 --> 00:15:17,690
Brian, if we don't find a way
324
00:15:17,730 --> 00:15:19,360
to push time forward again soon,
325
00:15:19,400 --> 00:15:22,780
I, too, shall be un-born.
326
00:15:27,790 --> 00:15:30,070
♪ You've got
327
00:15:30,110 --> 00:15:35,900
♪ The AIDS.
328
00:15:35,930 --> 00:15:37,900
That guy's gonna feel
so much better
329
00:15:37,930 --> 00:15:39,930
after we do what we got planned.
330
00:15:46,520 --> 00:15:48,960
How much time do we have
before you're un-born?
331
00:15:48,990 --> 00:15:51,270
With the time acceleration,
I'm not quite sure.
332
00:15:51,310 --> 00:15:53,710
But trust me, I can feel
myself getting younger.
333
00:15:53,740 --> 00:15:55,390
All right.
334
00:15:55,430 --> 00:15:56,680
The machine has
been repaired.
335
00:15:56,730 --> 00:15:58,760
Now all I've got to do
is isolate the cause
336
00:15:58,800 --> 00:15:59,870
of the acceleration curve
337
00:15:59,900 --> 00:16:01,930
and see if I can
duplicate the shock wave.
338
00:16:01,970 --> 00:16:03,150
(screams)
339
00:16:03,190 --> 00:16:04,340
What's the matter?
340
00:16:04,370 --> 00:16:06,940
I've regressed to my
pre-ambulatory stage.
341
00:16:06,970 --> 00:16:08,660
I can no longer walk!
342
00:16:08,690 --> 00:16:10,980
(grunting)
343
00:16:10,990 --> 00:16:13,310
My God, Stew,
you look terrible.
344
00:16:13,350 --> 00:16:15,080
Brian, I suddenly feel as if
345
00:16:15,120 --> 00:16:18,150
I've just been through
some sort of major trauma.
346
00:16:18,190 --> 00:16:21,250
Uh-oh. I think I know
what that major trauma was.
347
00:16:21,290 --> 00:16:23,220
(gasps)
My birth.
348
00:16:23,260 --> 00:16:25,060
Dear God, I've got
to get out of here!
349
00:16:26,390 --> 00:16:28,130
(gasps)
350
00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:32,950
Oh, he's so cute.
351
00:16:32,980 --> 00:16:34,950
Oh, my God, we're getting
closer to the beginning.
352
00:16:34,990 --> 00:16:36,650
You're Lacey Chabert.
353
00:16:36,690 --> 00:16:38,190
Oh, boy, a baby.
354
00:16:38,220 --> 00:16:41,060
I saw my Spanish teacher
leave one of you in a trash can.
355
00:16:41,090 --> 00:16:42,530
Brian, help!
356
00:16:42,560 --> 00:16:44,130
Stewie, what do I do?
357
00:16:44,160 --> 00:16:46,550
He's gorgeous, isn't he?
358
00:16:46,580 --> 00:16:48,600
I want to be the baby!
359
00:16:48,630 --> 00:16:50,100
Look at that head.
360
00:16:50,130 --> 00:16:51,800
Well, Lois,
this kind of completes
361
00:16:51,840 --> 00:16:53,770
your little carnival here.
362
00:16:53,800 --> 00:16:54,900
Hey, little guy.
363
00:16:54,940 --> 00:16:56,770
You ever need white,
corner-of-the-mouth stuff,
364
00:16:56,810 --> 00:16:58,960
you come to your grandpa.
365
00:16:58,990 --> 00:17:02,090
Stewie, this is
your new home.
366
00:17:02,100 --> 00:17:03,550
Brian, help!
It's up to you.
367
00:17:03,580 --> 00:17:06,200
You've got to restore
the flow of time.
368
00:17:06,220 --> 00:17:08,700
My life depends on it!
369
00:17:10,000 --> 00:17:12,200
What? Stewie, I don't know
how to fix that machine.
370
00:17:12,220 --> 00:17:13,560
Trust me, you can do it.
371
00:17:13,590 --> 00:17:15,680
You're so talented
in so many ways.
372
00:17:15,710 --> 00:17:16,680
Like what?
373
00:17:16,710 --> 00:17:18,180
Like... You...
374
00:17:18,210 --> 00:17:19,850
Just write down however
you think you're talented,
375
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,610
and I'll sign it.
376
00:17:23,770 --> 00:17:25,130
Well, it's up to you, buddy.
377
00:17:25,170 --> 00:17:27,300
Save this marriage.
378
00:17:33,010 --> 00:17:36,050
Oh, my God,
it's the greased-up deaf guy
379
00:17:36,080 --> 00:17:38,650
running backwards toward
that grease truck explosion.
380
00:17:38,680 --> 00:17:40,750
Oh, the grease burns so bad!
381
00:17:40,780 --> 00:17:42,490
I can't hear!
382
00:17:44,250 --> 00:17:46,470
(in deeper voice):
Boy, I am late for that meeting.
383
00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:52,960
Come on, math, you dick.
384
00:17:56,630 --> 00:17:58,630
Come on, Brian.
385
00:18:04,220 --> 00:18:05,590
(machine whirring)
386
00:18:05,630 --> 00:18:06,630
All right, think, think.
387
00:18:06,660 --> 00:18:08,530
What do I do? What do I do?
388
00:18:08,560 --> 00:18:10,700
All right, could it be
as simple as this?
389
00:18:10,730 --> 00:18:12,110
"Invert time flow."
390
00:18:13,050 --> 00:18:14,780
Ah-ah-ah.
391
00:18:14,820 --> 00:18:15,970
Ah-ah-ah.
392
00:18:16,000 --> 00:18:17,320
Ah-ah-ah.
393
00:18:17,350 --> 00:18:20,990
Oh, he's perfect.
394
00:18:21,040 --> 00:18:24,010
Time of birth: 11:34 a.m.
395
00:18:24,040 --> 00:18:25,640
Come on, Brian, hurry.
396
00:18:25,680 --> 00:18:27,150
(cheering)
397
00:18:27,180 --> 00:18:28,580
It's a girl!
398
00:18:28,620 --> 00:18:30,370
With a penis and no vagina.
399
00:18:32,290 --> 00:18:35,990
No...!
400
00:18:36,020 --> 00:18:37,590
I think I can hear the ocean.
401
00:18:37,620 --> 00:18:39,260
Smell it, too.
402
00:18:39,290 --> 00:18:40,590
All right, what do I do?
403
00:18:40,630 --> 00:18:42,850
Wait a minute,
what did I do before?
404
00:18:42,900 --> 00:18:44,360
That's all I have to do, right,
405
00:18:44,400 --> 00:18:47,280
is duplicate the circumstances,
but do it the opposite way.
406
00:18:47,320 --> 00:18:49,100
All right,
I was standing right here,
407
00:18:49,140 --> 00:18:52,340
the machine was on,
I broke the glass...
408
00:18:52,370 --> 00:18:54,510
and I turned the gauge backward.
409
00:18:54,540 --> 00:18:57,010
Maybe if I turn it
in the other direction.
410
00:18:58,950 --> 00:19:01,250
(electrical buzzing)
411
00:19:21,570 --> 00:19:23,490
Ooh, a quarter.
412
00:19:23,520 --> 00:19:25,890
Who cares what that doctor found
on my nuts?
413
00:19:25,940 --> 00:19:27,970
This is a good day.
414
00:19:28,010 --> 00:19:29,140
It worked.
415
00:19:29,180 --> 00:19:30,910
I don't believe it. It worked.
416
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:37,300
Brian, there you are.
417
00:19:37,330 --> 00:19:38,530
Where have you been?
418
00:19:38,570 --> 00:19:39,840
Meg, where's Stewie?
419
00:19:39,870 --> 00:19:41,570
Stewie? Who's Stewie?
420
00:19:41,610 --> 00:19:43,040
Here it comes.
Push, Mrs. Griffin.
421
00:19:43,070 --> 00:19:44,370
(groaning)
422
00:19:44,410 --> 00:19:45,860
You know what?
423
00:19:45,890 --> 00:19:48,660
I take it back, those panties
are gonna be in the way.
424
00:19:48,700 --> 00:19:50,430
Okay, here comes the baby.
425
00:19:50,460 --> 00:19:51,800
(groaning)
426
00:19:51,830 --> 00:19:53,600
Bloody hell!
427
00:19:53,630 --> 00:19:54,770
It's a boy.
428
00:19:54,800 --> 00:19:56,990
(cheering)
Oh, thank God.
429
00:19:57,020 --> 00:19:59,490
Oh, he's so beautiful.
430
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:01,610
Mrs. Griffin, your husband's
standing right here.
431
00:20:01,640 --> 00:20:03,910
What should we name him?
432
00:20:03,940 --> 00:20:06,730
I kind of like
Brian's name: Stewie.
433
00:20:06,760 --> 00:20:08,730
That's a wonderful name, Brian.
434
00:20:08,770 --> 00:20:09,970
Stewie.
435
00:20:10,000 --> 00:20:11,920
Hi, Stewie.
436
00:20:11,950 --> 00:20:13,440
You did it, Brian.
I've got to say,
437
00:20:13,470 --> 00:20:15,650
I didn't think you were
gonna be able to pull it off,
438
00:20:15,690 --> 00:20:16,940
but you did it.
439
00:20:16,990 --> 00:20:19,020
You saved my life.
440
00:20:19,060 --> 00:20:21,860
And for that,
I shall be forever grateful.
441
00:20:21,900 --> 00:20:25,160
Hey, I couldn't imagine life
without you, buddy.
442
00:20:25,200 --> 00:20:28,330
You know, I forgot what a
man cave I had in Lois's uterus.
443
00:20:28,370 --> 00:20:30,420
While I was waiting for
you, I was shooting pool.
444
00:20:30,450 --> 00:20:33,520
Had to hold the cue at
weird angles, but still.
445
00:20:37,240 --> 00:20:40,000
Oh, Peter, isn't he amazing?
446
00:20:40,030 --> 00:20:43,070
Is he smart, or is he...
like me?
447
00:20:43,100 --> 00:20:45,100
He's perfect.
448
00:20:53,390 --> 00:20:54,910
CHRIS:
You guys heard the baby
449
00:20:54,950 --> 00:20:56,450
talking in there, didn't you?
450
00:20:56,480 --> 00:20:58,050
LOIS:
Chris, that's ridiculous.31586
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