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1
00:00:00,788 --> 00:00:03,374
{\an8}Today feels like a special day.
2
00:00:03,457 --> 00:00:05,501
{\an8}The sun is out, so I won'tlose a toe to hypothermia.
3
00:00:05,585 --> 00:00:09,297
[ Laughs ]
And I'm feeling less activityfrom my bodily parasites!
4
00:00:09,380 --> 00:00:11,090
{\an8}Sitting there
like a couple of lumps.
5
00:00:11,173 --> 00:00:13,467
{\an8}It's a sin to watch TV
on such a nice day.
6
00:00:13,551 --> 00:00:15,094
It's "Boxcar Benji."
7
00:00:15,177 --> 00:00:16,679
{\an8}That fake TV hobo?
8
00:00:16,762 --> 00:00:18,431
{\an8}You should be out
in the fresh air, playing --
9
00:00:18,514 --> 00:00:20,016
with real hobos.
10
00:00:20,099 --> 00:00:22,059
[ Cheering ]
Dodgers are on.
11
00:00:22,143 --> 00:00:23,811
I heard you that --
12
00:00:23,894 --> 00:00:26,147
Dad, you should be
out in the fresh air, playing real baseball.
13
00:00:26,230 --> 00:00:27,356
Funny you bring that up.
14
00:00:27,440 --> 00:00:29,025
{\an8}When I played
high school ball,
15
00:00:29,108 --> 00:00:31,444
{\an8}there were a few scouts
sniffing around.
16
00:00:31,527 --> 00:00:33,946
{\an8}I remember the --
Oh, no, Dad's talking about the past again.
17
00:00:34,030 --> 00:00:35,698
Figured that would
clear the room.
18
00:00:35,781 --> 00:00:37,074
I remember
the first time
19
00:00:37,158 --> 00:00:39,368
I tried that particular trick
on the kids --
20
00:00:39,452 --> 00:00:40,453
{\an8}I'm out of here.
21
00:00:40,536 --> 00:00:42,872
{\an8}[ Chuckles ]
22
00:00:42,955 --> 00:00:46,500
{\an8}Just me and Don Sutton.
23
00:00:46,584 --> 00:00:49,128
Give it back!
I found a heretic in our midst.
24
00:00:49,211 --> 00:00:50,755
What, a Giants fan?
25
00:00:50,838 --> 00:00:53,299
{\an8}William has been studying
this fake religion
26
00:00:53,382 --> 00:00:56,093
{\an8}based on those dumb
science-fiction books he reads.
27
00:00:56,177 --> 00:00:58,512
Always reading.
I'd hoped that was just a phase.
28
00:00:58,596 --> 00:01:00,097
{\an8}It's a science-based
thought-system,
29
00:01:00,181 --> 00:01:01,682
{\an8}much of it
just as feasible
30
00:01:01,766 --> 00:01:03,184
{\an8}as the stuff
they teach in church.
31
00:01:03,267 --> 00:01:04,310
"Magor-eology"?
32
00:01:04,393 --> 00:01:06,270
{\an8}By J. Eldon Gutierrez.
33
00:01:06,354 --> 00:01:07,688
{\an8}They were
handing those out
34
00:01:07,772 --> 00:01:09,065
{\an8}in front of
the vegetarian restaurant.
35
00:01:09,148 --> 00:01:10,733
{\an8}That's where I'd go
to look for suckers.
36
00:01:10,816 --> 00:01:12,151
{\an8}Bunch of folks
willing to spend 2 bucks
37
00:01:12,234 --> 00:01:13,778
{\an8}on a bowl
of grass soup.
38
00:01:13,861 --> 00:01:16,072
{\an8}[ Laughs ]
It's a philosophy the Magorian people have used
39
00:01:16,155 --> 00:01:18,574
{\an8}to bring a trillion years
of peace to their quadrant.
40
00:01:18,658 --> 00:01:20,451
{\an8}Wouldn't mind a little peace
in my quadrant right now.
41
00:01:20,534 --> 00:01:21,452
{\an8}Give him his book back,
Frank.
42
00:01:21,535 --> 00:01:23,329
{\an8}Thank you.
[ Thump ]
43
00:01:23,412 --> 00:01:25,414
{\an8}It's a slippery slope,
Dad.
44
00:01:25,498 --> 00:01:28,459
{\an8}First Magoreology, then he'll
be hanging out with Lutherans.
45
00:01:28,542 --> 00:01:29,960
{\an8}Lutherans!
46
00:01:30,044 --> 00:01:31,253
{\an8}Peggy: Now that Frank
is out of the room,
47
00:01:31,337 --> 00:01:33,339
{\an8}I don't mind saying
I agree with him.
48
00:01:33,422 --> 00:01:35,216
{\an8}I don't like my kids looking
outside the Catholic Church.
49
00:01:35,299 --> 00:01:37,551
{\an8}That's why we have
all the stained glass -- so you can't see out.
50
00:01:37,635 --> 00:01:39,595
{\an8}William's just got
a naturally curious mind.
51
00:01:39,679 --> 00:01:41,263
{\an8}The other day, he was asking me
about Buddhism.
52
00:01:41,347 --> 00:01:42,807
And you told him?!
53
00:01:42,890 --> 00:01:44,975
Yeah, it's been around for
a while, Mom. It's out there.
54
00:01:45,059 --> 00:01:46,727
{\an8}Oh, it's "out there,"
all right.
55
00:01:46,811 --> 00:01:49,063
{\an8}A big, fat guy stuffing
his wisdom into fortune cookies.
56
00:01:49,146 --> 00:01:50,481
I think
that's Confucianism.
57
00:01:50,564 --> 00:01:52,316
[ Laughs ] Damn right,
it's confusing.
58
00:01:52,400 --> 00:01:54,068
{\an8}All these new religions.
59
00:01:54,151 --> 00:01:56,404
{\an8}Buddhism's actually older
than Catholicism.
60
00:01:56,487 --> 00:01:58,572
Yeah, well, I'm just hearing
about it, and I don't like it.
61
00:01:58,656 --> 00:01:59,657
Well,
I think it's healthy
62
00:01:59,740 --> 00:02:01,033
that William's questioning
his beliefs.
63
00:02:01,117 --> 00:02:02,451
{\an8}Well, you questioned
your beliefs
64
00:02:02,535 --> 00:02:04,161
{\an8}right out of
a cushy priest job.
65
00:02:04,245 --> 00:02:06,414
{\an8}Our religion has a lot
of beautiful, profound ideas
66
00:02:06,497 --> 00:02:09,041
{\an8}that only work if you don't
look at them too closely.
67
00:02:09,125 --> 00:02:10,876
{\an8}Yeah, church isn't set up
for brainiacs
68
00:02:10,960 --> 00:02:13,003
{\an8}wringing their hands,
trying to pick things apart.
69
00:02:13,087 --> 00:02:14,672
{\an8}That's what
synagogues are for. Mm-hmm.
70
00:02:14,755 --> 00:02:16,924
{\an8}If you think your faith
won't stand up to scrutiny,
71
00:02:17,007 --> 00:02:18,884
{\an8}why is it so important
for your kids to follow it?
72
00:02:18,968 --> 00:02:20,428
Because it's right.
73
00:02:20,511 --> 00:02:21,887
[ Laughs ] Other religions
feel the same way.
74
00:02:21,971 --> 00:02:23,389
Well, they're wrong.
75
00:02:23,472 --> 00:02:24,974
{\an8}If you force William
to believe what you believe,
76
00:02:25,057 --> 00:02:27,268
{\an8}you might just drive him
away from it.
77
00:02:27,351 --> 00:02:28,728
Maybe he's right.
78
00:02:28,811 --> 00:02:30,813
Maybe we should back off William
and see how this plays out.
79
00:02:30,896 --> 00:02:33,441
That's the trouble with
smart kids -- they're awful.
80
00:02:33,524 --> 00:02:34,483
The dumb ones
are awful, too,
81
00:02:34,567 --> 00:02:35,776
but at least
you can boss them around.
82
00:02:35,860 --> 00:02:37,027
Eddie, pick up your feet
when you walk.
83
00:02:37,111 --> 00:02:38,154
{\an8}Where have
you guys been?
84
00:02:38,237 --> 00:02:39,572
{\an8}We got up
at 3:00 in the morning
85
00:02:39,655 --> 00:02:40,906
{\an8}to get in line
for Zeppelin tickets.
86
00:02:40,990 --> 00:02:42,616
{\an8}Ooh, it's time
for the air show again?
87
00:02:42,700 --> 00:02:44,618
{\an8}I'm not surprised blimp day's
become a hot ticket.
88
00:02:44,702 --> 00:02:47,788
[ Chuckles ] They're
the gentle giants of the sky.
89
00:02:47,872 --> 00:02:49,415
They're talking about
the band.
90
00:02:49,498 --> 00:02:50,958
Zeppelin's a band now?
91
00:02:51,041 --> 00:02:52,793
Your generation ruins
everything.
92
00:02:52,877 --> 00:02:55,004
Hermits,
stones, beetles --
93
00:02:55,087 --> 00:02:57,131
words used to
mean something.
94
00:02:57,214 --> 00:02:59,049
Joey: Well,
we didn't get the tickets
95
00:02:59,133 --> 00:03:01,302
because someone fell asleep
on their shift.
96
00:03:01,385 --> 00:03:03,929
The guy promised he'd wake me up
when the Ticketron opened.
97
00:03:04,013 --> 00:03:05,765
You mean the guy
in line behind us
98
00:03:05,848 --> 00:03:07,600
who accused us
of cutting in front of him?
99
00:03:07,683 --> 00:03:09,018
Yeah -- Doug.
100
00:03:09,101 --> 00:03:11,270
[ Both snoring ]
101
00:03:13,689 --> 00:03:14,940
I am never speaking
to Doug again.
102
00:03:15,024 --> 00:03:16,400
You're never
seeing him again.
103
00:03:16,484 --> 00:03:17,276
How about
at the concert?
104
00:03:17,359 --> 00:03:18,694
Doug'll be there.
105
00:03:18,778 --> 00:03:19,779
But we won't --
because of you!
106
00:03:19,862 --> 00:03:20,988
Because of Doug.
107
00:03:21,071 --> 00:03:22,823
If we had to depend on
you two in the war,
108
00:03:22,907 --> 00:03:24,492
we'd all be speaking German
right now.
109
00:03:24,575 --> 00:03:26,160
That would be
really helpful.
110
00:03:26,243 --> 00:03:28,412
I cannot get through
my foreign language requirement.
111
00:03:28,496 --> 00:03:30,456
I'm surprised
you're giving up so easy.
112
00:03:30,539 --> 00:03:31,957
You always seem
to have a connection
113
00:03:32,041 --> 00:03:33,834
for concert tickets
and fireworks.
114
00:03:33,918 --> 00:03:35,920
And a koala
that one time.
115
00:03:36,003 --> 00:03:37,755
Ohh.
Pat's best birthday yet.
116
00:03:37,838 --> 00:03:39,173
Yeah.
[ Laughs ]
117
00:03:39,256 --> 00:03:40,925
I got Mousey and Ray-Ray
beating the streets,
118
00:03:41,008 --> 00:03:43,427
but so far, all they could
score me was "Ice Capades."
119
00:03:43,511 --> 00:03:45,179
But I might be able to set you
up for that air show, Dad.
120
00:03:45,262 --> 00:03:47,097
I'll take two
for blimp day.
121
00:03:47,181 --> 00:03:49,308
And, uh, some more
of those hot dog vouchers. Hmm?
122
00:03:49,391 --> 00:03:50,392
{\an8}♪♪
123
00:03:53,813 --> 00:03:56,065
Is this tie
too flashy for Mass, hon?
124
00:03:56,148 --> 00:03:57,441
Huh. Didn't realize
I was married to Liberace.
125
00:03:57,525 --> 00:03:58,818
Wear the brown one.
126
00:03:58,901 --> 00:04:00,694
There you are --
the last place I checked.
127
00:04:00,778 --> 00:04:02,071
Why aren't you
wearing pants?
128
00:04:02,154 --> 00:04:03,364
They wouldn't fit
over my shoes,
129
00:04:03,447 --> 00:04:04,740
but that's
not why I'm here.
130
00:04:04,824 --> 00:04:07,117
Don't feel bad, pal.
I blew it with my tie.
131
00:04:07,201 --> 00:04:09,119
William says
he's not going to church today.
132
00:04:09,203 --> 00:04:10,746
Nonsense.
You tell him he's going.
133
00:04:10,830 --> 00:04:12,164
And put your pants on.
134
00:04:12,248 --> 00:04:14,083
I mean,
I can try again, but...
135
00:04:14,166 --> 00:04:15,376
Take your shoes off
first.
136
00:04:15,459 --> 00:04:17,211
Ohh!
137
00:04:17,294 --> 00:04:19,380
So, now William doesn't want
to go to church at all.
138
00:04:19,463 --> 00:04:20,673
Well,
I guess we clamp down
139
00:04:20,756 --> 00:04:22,383
before his doubts about religion
affect the other kids.
140
00:04:22,466 --> 00:04:23,801
We don't want them
catching on.
141
00:04:23,884 --> 00:04:26,011
You mean we don't want
the others doubting it? Sure.
142
00:04:26,095 --> 00:04:28,931
Well, his problem is, he sits
in Mass thinking about stuff.
143
00:04:29,014 --> 00:04:30,891
We need to find him
a distraction --
144
00:04:30,975 --> 00:04:32,726
like when the baby and Eddie
get fussy,
145
00:04:32,810 --> 00:04:34,478
I give them my keys
to play with.
146
00:04:34,562 --> 00:04:36,814
And Pat likes how the pew
vibrates under his butt
147
00:04:36,897 --> 00:04:38,107
when the organ
plays a low note.
148
00:04:40,568 --> 00:04:41,944
[ High-pitched notes play ]
Peggy: What on God's green Earth?!
149
00:04:42,027 --> 00:04:43,946
Sounds like you're playing
Hell's national anthem.
150
00:04:44,029 --> 00:04:45,906
I'm just practicing scales
on my theremin.
151
00:04:45,990 --> 00:04:47,950
Oh.
I was hoping to skip Mass today
152
00:04:48,033 --> 00:04:49,618
to learn the theme
from "Star Trek."
153
00:04:49,702 --> 00:04:51,328
I know how into music
you are.
154
00:04:51,412 --> 00:04:52,788
Father Abdi says
155
00:04:52,872 --> 00:04:54,957
you're a once-in-a-generation
musical talent.
156
00:04:55,040 --> 00:04:56,876
Would you
knock that off? [ Notes stop ]
157
00:04:56,959 --> 00:04:59,003
Wait. You were talking
to Father Abdi about me?
158
00:04:59,086 --> 00:05:02,089
Just the other day,
when I was teaching him how Americans use stairs,
159
00:05:02,172 --> 00:05:04,717
he asked about you getting
involved with the boys' choir.
160
00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:05,968
Our choir?
Mm-hmm.
161
00:05:06,051 --> 00:05:08,554
Oh, and do you know why
our church calls it a choir?
162
00:05:08,637 --> 00:05:11,098
Because when they sing,
it's so terrible,
163
00:05:11,181 --> 00:05:12,850
you...cwy.
[cry]
164
00:05:12,933 --> 00:05:14,727
Sure,
Timmy made a bad joke,
165
00:05:14,810 --> 00:05:18,397
but even in the worst comedy,
there's a germ of truth.
166
00:05:18,480 --> 00:05:19,815
Our choir stinks.
167
00:05:19,899 --> 00:05:21,317
That's all
I wanted to communicate.
168
00:05:21,400 --> 00:05:23,652
I thank ye.
169
00:05:24,862 --> 00:05:27,197
Look, that's why
Father Abdi needs you.
170
00:05:27,281 --> 00:05:29,533
He was hoping you'd listen
during Mass today
171
00:05:29,617 --> 00:05:31,201
and give suggestions.
172
00:05:31,285 --> 00:05:33,203
And they'll take them
seriously?
173
00:05:33,287 --> 00:05:35,456
That's what the Catholic Church
is known for --
174
00:05:35,539 --> 00:05:37,458
always
welcoming new ideas.
175
00:05:37,541 --> 00:05:40,377
[ Organ playing "Holy God,
We Praise Thy Name" ]
176
00:05:42,338 --> 00:05:46,467
♪ Holy God, we praise Thy Name ♪
177
00:05:46,550 --> 00:05:49,428
Tempo. Tempo!
Come on, people!
178
00:05:49,511 --> 00:05:55,059
[ Off-key ] ♪ Lord of all,
we bow before Thee ♪
179
00:05:55,142 --> 00:05:57,186
Terrible.
It's just appalling.
180
00:05:57,269 --> 00:05:59,063
Cut 'em some slack.
Their voices are changing.
181
00:05:59,146 --> 00:06:00,397
Not changing enough.
182
00:06:00,481 --> 00:06:02,274
Ohh!
183
00:06:02,358 --> 00:06:06,737
♪ Everlasting is Thy reign ♪
184
00:06:06,820 --> 00:06:10,282
[ Low organ note plays ]
Ooh! That hymn tickles my butt!
185
00:06:10,366 --> 00:06:12,284
Father Abdi:
I welcome you in Christ's name.
186
00:06:12,368 --> 00:06:14,161
Announcer:
Coming down the trackson this two-for-Tuesday,
187
00:06:14,244 --> 00:06:16,705
a double shotof Grand Funk Railroad.
188
00:06:16,789 --> 00:06:18,457
What's your finger doing,
besides putting undue stress
189
00:06:18,540 --> 00:06:19,750
on the rotary mechanism?
190
00:06:19,833 --> 00:06:22,127
KYWW has tickets
to Led Zeppelin.
191
00:06:22,211 --> 00:06:23,337
You call in to win.
192
00:06:23,420 --> 00:06:26,507
But you have to say,
"KYWW plays all the hits."
193
00:06:26,590 --> 00:06:28,342
Now that I understand it,
I care even less.
194
00:06:28,425 --> 00:06:30,344
Hang up.
I like to keep that line open.
195
00:06:30,427 --> 00:06:32,179
Dad, c'mon!
You never get calls.
196
00:06:32,262 --> 00:06:34,682
I work in the defense industry,
so I must be reachable
197
00:06:34,765 --> 00:06:36,475
at all times
in case of a national emergency.
198
00:06:36,558 --> 00:06:37,851
[ Telephone rings ]
199
00:06:37,935 --> 00:06:39,770
What'd I tell you?
200
00:06:39,853 --> 00:06:41,188
Mike Cleary.
201
00:06:41,271 --> 00:06:43,065
Uh-huh.
202
00:06:43,148 --> 00:06:44,942
Uh-huh.
Well, that's intriguing.
203
00:06:45,025 --> 00:06:46,360
You confirmed those figures
with the Colonel?
204
00:06:46,443 --> 00:06:47,653
And everybody
up at HQ?
205
00:06:49,738 --> 00:06:51,198
Okay.
206
00:06:51,281 --> 00:06:53,033
I'll be there.
207
00:06:53,117 --> 00:06:54,660
[ Telephone clacks ]
208
00:06:54,743 --> 00:06:57,663
Peggy, Kentucky Fried Chicken
has a meal deal --
209
00:06:57,746 --> 00:07:00,374
a bucket, fixins,
plus free slaw!
210
00:07:00,457 --> 00:07:02,292
Clowns almost
made me miss that.
211
00:07:02,376 --> 00:07:04,003
Honey, I told you --
212
00:07:04,086 --> 00:07:06,213
tonight we are
dining with the Colonel.
213
00:07:06,296 --> 00:07:08,757
We need a fresh vegetable,
so I'm opening a can of beans.
214
00:07:09,967 --> 00:07:11,468
Well, this just about
tears it!
215
00:07:11,552 --> 00:07:13,220
I am fit to be tied!
216
00:07:13,303 --> 00:07:15,389
Oh, Frank, stop talking
like an elderly person.
217
00:07:15,472 --> 00:07:18,726
William staged a power-grab
at choir practice.
218
00:07:18,809 --> 00:07:21,562
Came in throwing "suggestions"
at Sister Euphemia,
219
00:07:21,645 --> 00:07:23,731
who rolled over
like an Irish Setter.
220
00:07:25,065 --> 00:07:27,067
Sounds like you got William
back in the fold.
221
00:07:27,151 --> 00:07:29,153
Yeah, but I didn't realize
it would upset Frank.
222
00:07:29,236 --> 00:07:30,654
So that's just gravy.
223
00:07:30,738 --> 00:07:32,948
Mmm.
Savory country gravy.
224
00:07:33,032 --> 00:07:33,949
[ Door opens ]
225
00:07:34,033 --> 00:07:35,951
Time to pick up
the chicken. Mm.
226
00:07:36,035 --> 00:07:37,786
Hey, I hear you're
whipping the choir into shape.
227
00:07:37,870 --> 00:07:39,538
Good job.
228
00:07:41,040 --> 00:07:42,791
[ Door closes ]
I hear Frank isn't too happy about it.
229
00:07:42,875 --> 00:07:45,919
He's mad because he thinks
his voice is a tenor. [tenner]
230
00:07:46,003 --> 00:07:47,796
I would rank it more
of a four-and-a-halfer.
231
00:07:47,880 --> 00:07:49,256
Yes, it's a bad joke,
232
00:07:49,339 --> 00:07:51,341
but it doesn't diminish
the importance of the message.
233
00:07:51,425 --> 00:07:52,593
Frank stinks.
234
00:07:52,676 --> 00:07:53,886
You can't kick him out.
235
00:07:53,969 --> 00:07:55,429
They already spent good money
on that special robe
236
00:07:55,512 --> 00:07:56,764
that makes him
look like he's got shoulders.
237
00:07:56,847 --> 00:07:58,390
I told him he can stay
238
00:07:58,474 --> 00:08:00,768
if he just moves his lips
without making any noise.
239
00:08:00,851 --> 00:08:03,145
Oh, if only I could get him
to do that around here.
240
00:08:03,228 --> 00:08:04,563
We sounded
really good tonight.
241
00:08:04,646 --> 00:08:06,648
In fact, Father Abdi
stopped by and asked us to sing
242
00:08:06,732 --> 00:08:08,609
on the "Mass for Shut-Ins" show
this Sunday.
243
00:08:08,692 --> 00:08:10,069
What do you know?
244
00:08:10,152 --> 00:08:12,529
Because of church,
you're gonna sing on TV.
245
00:08:12,613 --> 00:08:14,782
Adult Timmy:
Acoustics in our housewere a funny thing.
246
00:08:14,865 --> 00:08:16,408
Sometimes, I couldn't hearmy mother tell me
247
00:08:16,492 --> 00:08:18,619
to pick up a dirty sockfrom 2 feet away,
248
00:08:18,702 --> 00:08:20,621
[ Echoing ] ...on TV...on TV...
but other times...
249
00:08:20,704 --> 00:08:22,498
You hear that, Timmy?
250
00:08:22,581 --> 00:08:25,542
William's gonna sing
on TV?
251
00:08:25,626 --> 00:08:30,798
♪ Holy, holy, holy ♪
252
00:08:30,881 --> 00:08:35,552
♪ Merciful and mighty ♪
253
00:08:35,636 --> 00:08:40,724
♪ God in three persons ♪
254
00:08:40,808 --> 00:08:45,312
♪ Blessed Trinity ♪
255
00:08:46,647 --> 00:08:49,399
William, your lovely voice
has drawn from me
256
00:08:49,483 --> 00:08:51,443
long-dormant feelings --
257
00:08:51,527 --> 00:08:53,904
passions,
innocence untouched,
258
00:08:53,987 --> 00:08:57,366
but longing --
so much longing.
259
00:08:57,449 --> 00:08:59,493
I'm...sorry, Sister.
260
00:08:59,576 --> 00:09:01,537
No.
You were wonderful.
261
00:09:01,620 --> 00:09:03,914
I think we have found
our soloist!
262
00:09:03,997 --> 00:09:05,958
[ Gasps ]
Timmy: Excuse me, Sister.
263
00:09:08,418 --> 00:09:10,045
I'd like to audition
for the solo.
264
00:09:10,129 --> 00:09:11,505
What are you doing here?
265
00:09:11,588 --> 00:09:12,965
Isn't it obvious?
266
00:09:13,048 --> 00:09:15,050
Timmy can never stand anybody
getting more attention than him.
267
00:09:15,134 --> 00:09:16,552
He'd climb up
on that cross
268
00:09:16,635 --> 00:09:18,887
if he wasn't
scared of splinters.
269
00:09:18,971 --> 00:09:21,140
Listen, Ruth,
William's a doll,
270
00:09:21,223 --> 00:09:23,851
and he'd be fine
if this was just a church gig,
271
00:09:23,934 --> 00:09:26,728
but on television,
you're competing for eyeballs.
272
00:09:26,812 --> 00:09:28,939
There are, like,
four channels now.
273
00:09:29,022 --> 00:09:31,900
So you have got to pop out
of that screen and grab 'em!
274
00:09:31,984 --> 00:09:32,943
Let me give you
a little taste.
275
00:09:33,026 --> 00:09:35,487
Billy, B-flat.
276
00:09:35,571 --> 00:09:38,198
[ Note plays ]
♪ Holy-holy, holy-holy-holy ♪
277
00:09:38,282 --> 00:09:40,367
♪ Holy-holy,
holy-holy-holy ♪ Yeah!
278
00:09:40,450 --> 00:09:42,494
♪ Holy, holy, holy ♪
♪ Holy, holy-holy ♪
279
00:09:42,578 --> 00:09:45,080
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Lord, God Almighty ♪ Almighty!
280
00:09:45,164 --> 00:09:47,666
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Early in the morning ♪
281
00:09:47,749 --> 00:09:49,960
♪ O-o-o-oh ♪
♪ My song shall rise to Thee, Thee, Thee, Thee ♪
282
00:09:50,043 --> 00:09:52,379
♪ Holy, holy, holy ♪
283
00:09:52,462 --> 00:09:54,548
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Merciful and mighty ♪
284
00:09:54,631 --> 00:09:57,259
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh ♪
♪ God in three persons ♪
285
00:09:57,342 --> 00:09:59,428
♪ O-o-oh ♪
♪ The blessed Trinity-ty-ty-ty ♪
286
00:09:59,511 --> 00:10:02,264
♪ Holy, holy, holy ♪
[ Scatting ]
287
00:10:02,347 --> 00:10:04,183
♪ Ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Lord God Almighty ♪
288
00:10:04,266 --> 00:10:06,643
♪ Ooh-ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Ba-da, ba, ba-da ♪
289
00:10:06,727 --> 00:10:08,395
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ The blessed Trinity ♪
290
00:10:11,607 --> 00:10:14,151
Who are you sending
those postcards to?
291
00:10:14,234 --> 00:10:16,028
Show business power players --
Lew Wasserman, Stanley Kubrick.
292
00:10:16,111 --> 00:10:18,238
Folks who'll want to catch
my solo Sunday morning.
293
00:10:18,322 --> 00:10:20,532
I'm gonna be the first person
in our family on TV.
294
00:10:20,616 --> 00:10:23,827
Not true. Your cousin
Brenda used to pal around with those Manson girls.
295
00:10:23,911 --> 00:10:25,829
She made it into
all the courtroom sketches.
296
00:10:25,913 --> 00:10:28,957
It seems very unlikely to me
that your industry big shots
297
00:10:29,041 --> 00:10:31,376
are gonna be watching
the "Mass for Shut-Ins."
298
00:10:31,460 --> 00:10:34,004
You mean a guy
like Lew Wasserman, running a big studio?
299
00:10:34,087 --> 00:10:35,839
[ Door opens ]
I doubt he has time to get to Mass.
300
00:10:35,923 --> 00:10:39,218
You took a beautiful hymn
and made it an abomination!
301
00:10:39,301 --> 00:10:42,179
Sounds like you might be jealous
somebody took your solo.
302
00:10:42,262 --> 00:10:45,140
I care about
honoring the music.
303
00:10:45,224 --> 00:10:47,059
You don't add a whoopee cushion
to Mozart.
304
00:10:47,142 --> 00:10:49,311
You do if you want
to get butts in the seats.
305
00:10:49,394 --> 00:10:51,563
You've taken the one thing
I like about church
306
00:10:51,647 --> 00:10:53,148
and you made it
about butts.
307
00:10:53,232 --> 00:10:54,483
My mom's planwas starting to unravel.
308
00:10:54,566 --> 00:10:55,984
[ Door opens ]
She now worried
309
00:10:56,068 --> 00:10:57,819
William might stop making musicfor the Catholic Church
310
00:10:57,903 --> 00:10:59,488
and end up making musicat the airport,
311
00:10:59,571 --> 00:11:01,657
with a shaved headand a tambourine.
312
00:11:01,740 --> 00:11:04,910
You know, Timmy...
313
00:11:04,993 --> 00:11:07,829
you're gonna have plenty
of opportunities to be on TV.
314
00:11:07,913 --> 00:11:09,456
Maybe you should
let William have this one.
315
00:11:09,539 --> 00:11:12,251
Mom, this isn't about me
anymore, okay?
316
00:11:12,334 --> 00:11:13,919
I've got to do this
for the shut-ins.
317
00:11:14,002 --> 00:11:15,921
A lot of them
don't get any sunshine.
318
00:11:16,004 --> 00:11:18,340
They need me
to bring it to them.
319
00:11:18,423 --> 00:11:19,967
[ Door opens ]
Mike: Sorry I'm late.
320
00:11:20,050 --> 00:11:22,052
There's a dumb mattress
in the middle of the street on Glenoaks.
321
00:11:22,135 --> 00:11:23,095
I'm gonna call it in.
322
00:11:23,178 --> 00:11:24,680
What size is it?
Eddie needs a new bed.
323
00:11:24,763 --> 00:11:26,014
It's in the road,
Peg.
324
00:11:26,098 --> 00:11:27,766
Well, does that mean stains
or just tire tracks?
325
00:11:27,849 --> 00:11:28,809
[ Sighs ]
326
00:11:28,892 --> 00:11:30,936
Father picks up
a little overtime.
327
00:11:31,019 --> 00:11:33,105
Suddenly, we're too fancy
for a street mattress.
328
00:11:34,481 --> 00:11:36,108
[ Shocking Blue's "Venus"plays ]
329
00:11:36,191 --> 00:11:37,234
Hello?
330
00:11:37,317 --> 00:11:38,443
Eddie: Hello?
331
00:11:38,527 --> 00:11:40,070
Who's on this line?Is that Eddie?
332
00:11:40,153 --> 00:11:41,363
Joey, it's Dad.
333
00:11:41,446 --> 00:11:43,031
What's going on?
334
00:11:43,115 --> 00:11:44,366
Hey, Pop!
335
00:11:44,449 --> 00:11:46,201
We finally got through
to KYWW.
336
00:11:46,285 --> 00:11:47,577
We're on hold right now
as caller number 6.
337
00:11:47,661 --> 00:11:48,870
Where are you?
338
00:11:48,954 --> 00:11:50,372
How are you even
on this phone?
339
00:11:50,455 --> 00:11:51,581
Okay, full disclosure --
340
00:11:51,665 --> 00:11:53,333
I kinda spliced
into our phone line
341
00:11:53,417 --> 00:11:55,127
and ran an extension
up to my office.
342
00:11:55,210 --> 00:11:57,129
Turns outI'm pretty technological.
343
00:11:57,212 --> 00:11:58,880
Must've gotten that
from you.
344
00:11:58,964 --> 00:12:00,799
You're about to get
something else from me.
345
00:12:01,758 --> 00:12:03,885
Dad!
Don't mess this up!
346
00:12:03,969 --> 00:12:05,262
We've been calling day and night
trying to win this.
347
00:12:05,345 --> 00:12:06,346
[ Grunts ]
348
00:12:07,973 --> 00:12:08,890
No!!
349
00:12:08,974 --> 00:12:10,309
[ Laughs ]
What do you know?
350
00:12:10,392 --> 00:12:12,894
It hit the ground
just like a lead zeppelin.
351
00:12:12,978 --> 00:12:14,187
Announcer:
Hello, caller number 6?
352
00:12:14,271 --> 00:12:15,856
Who is this?
Don't hang up, Dad!
353
00:12:15,939 --> 00:12:17,357
Do not hang up!
354
00:12:17,441 --> 00:12:20,277
It's Rockin' Rockyat KYWW Radio!
355
00:12:20,360 --> 00:12:22,362
Good -- you can get the word out
regarding a Sigalert...
356
00:12:22,446 --> 00:12:24,197
[ Feedback ]
...on Glenoaks Avenue.
357
00:12:24,281 --> 00:12:25,991
It's a mattress --
probably fell off a U-Haul.
358
00:12:26,074 --> 00:12:27,951
People don't tie them downlike they're supposed to.
359
00:12:28,035 --> 00:12:29,661
You're killing me, old man.
You're killing me!
360
00:12:30,912 --> 00:12:32,289
Dad, you gotta
say the slogan.
361
00:12:32,372 --> 00:12:34,458
Who am I speaking with?
Michael Cleary.
362
00:12:34,541 --> 00:12:37,377
The unfortunate father
of two idiot sons who --
363
00:12:37,461 --> 00:12:39,963
Ooh! Sounds like we've gota grumpy dad.
364
00:12:40,047 --> 00:12:41,340
Well, tell me, Grumpy Dad,
365
00:12:41,423 --> 00:12:43,508
are you ready to have Zeppelinrock your world?
366
00:12:43,592 --> 00:12:45,344
That seems
extremely unlikely.
367
00:12:45,427 --> 00:12:47,054
Just repeat our sloganand win the prize.
368
00:12:47,137 --> 00:12:48,930
"KYWW plays all the hits!"
Say it!
369
00:12:49,014 --> 00:12:51,308
"KYWW plays
all the hits!"
370
00:12:51,391 --> 00:12:52,893
Please, please, please!
371
00:12:52,976 --> 00:12:54,561
So, what do you say,Grumpster?
372
00:12:54,644 --> 00:12:56,563
I can't just say something
I don't know to be true
373
00:12:56,646 --> 00:12:57,981
on the public airways.
374
00:12:58,065 --> 00:12:59,941
It might be perjury.
We could lose the house.
375
00:13:00,025 --> 00:13:02,569
Ooh!Grumpy Dad is the most!
376
00:13:02,652 --> 00:13:03,987
I don't just
give my endorsement
377
00:13:04,071 --> 00:13:05,739
without believing
in the product.
378
00:13:05,822 --> 00:13:08,200
You're not endorsing the music!
You're just stating a fact!
379
00:13:08,283 --> 00:13:11,411
There is no way I am saying
"KYWW plays all the hits"
380
00:13:11,495 --> 00:13:12,913
without first knowing
if that --
381
00:13:12,996 --> 00:13:14,456
He said it!You said it!
382
00:13:14,539 --> 00:13:16,625
I heard you, Dad! I heard you!
You said it! He said it!
383
00:13:16,708 --> 00:13:18,668
You just won two ticketsto Led Zeppelin!
384
00:13:18,752 --> 00:13:19,961
Pick 'em up at will-call.
385
00:13:20,045 --> 00:13:21,546
See you at the concert,Grumpy Dad!
386
00:13:21,630 --> 00:13:22,714
Don't forget about
that mattress.
387
00:13:22,798 --> 00:13:24,091
[ Both screaming ]
388
00:13:24,174 --> 00:13:26,176
We won tickets
to Zeppelin!
389
00:13:26,259 --> 00:13:27,219
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
390
00:13:27,302 --> 00:13:30,097
I believe Grumpy Dad
won those tickets.
391
00:13:30,180 --> 00:13:32,224
Your mom and I used to go
to a lot of concerts together.
392
00:13:32,307 --> 00:13:34,768
You know, I recall
one of our first dates ever
393
00:13:34,851 --> 00:13:36,978
was with Vaughn Monroe
and his band
394
00:13:37,062 --> 00:13:39,147
at The Twin Coaches
outside of Pittsburgh.
395
00:13:39,231 --> 00:13:41,441
Dad's talking
about the past again.
396
00:13:41,525 --> 00:13:43,360
[ Hammering ]
397
00:13:43,443 --> 00:13:44,736
Oh, my God,
this is the same stage
398
00:13:44,820 --> 00:13:46,571
where they shoot
the "Boxcar Benji" show!
399
00:13:48,031 --> 00:13:49,783
Wonderful -- Timmy
in his natural habitat,
400
00:13:49,866 --> 00:13:51,368
among the freaks
of Hollyweird.
401
00:13:51,451 --> 00:13:53,412
Honey! It's not polite
to call these weirdos freaks.
402
00:13:53,495 --> 00:13:54,746
[ Gasps ]
This is the crate
403
00:13:54,830 --> 00:13:56,832
where Benji always goes
to sleep one off.
404
00:13:56,915 --> 00:13:58,708
And right there
is the windowsill
405
00:13:58,792 --> 00:14:00,836
where every week,
a lucky junior hobo
406
00:14:00,919 --> 00:14:02,587
tries to steal
the widow's pie.
407
00:14:02,671 --> 00:14:05,549
Those of you appearing on-camera
need to report for makeup.
408
00:14:05,632 --> 00:14:07,467
[ Chuckles ] I will not
be wearing any makeup.
409
00:14:07,551 --> 00:14:08,844
I am nobody's fop.
410
00:14:10,971 --> 00:14:13,348
I need a number-three base,
or I wash out under the lights.
411
00:14:13,432 --> 00:14:14,683
Okay, kid.
Let's go.
412
00:14:15,976 --> 00:14:17,185
Why would you
make me come
413
00:14:17,269 --> 00:14:19,521
just to watch Timmy
butcher my favorite hymn?
414
00:14:19,604 --> 00:14:22,149
What if something happens to
Timmy and he can't sing today?
415
00:14:22,232 --> 00:14:24,025
Well, then you would be here
to save the day.
416
00:14:24,109 --> 00:14:25,277
What's gonna happen
to Timmy?
417
00:14:25,360 --> 00:14:26,945
I don't know yet.
[ Sighs ]
418
00:14:27,028 --> 00:14:29,322
But in the meantime,
think about the shut-ins.
419
00:14:29,406 --> 00:14:31,450
It brings them joy to see
the shiny faces of children.
420
00:14:31,533 --> 00:14:33,493
Does nothing for me,
but they don't get out much.
421
00:14:35,412 --> 00:14:37,456
So, are you nervous,
Timmy Cleary?
422
00:14:37,539 --> 00:14:39,374
This is actually
my first starring role on TV.
423
00:14:39,458 --> 00:14:40,709
Hmm.
424
00:14:40,792 --> 00:14:42,461
It doesn't
seem appropriate
425
00:14:42,544 --> 00:14:44,963
for you to think of yourself
as the "star" of this Mass.
426
00:14:45,046 --> 00:14:46,298
I get it.
427
00:14:46,381 --> 00:14:48,091
This is your rodeo.
You want top billing.
428
00:14:48,175 --> 00:14:49,384
No, I simply meant
that you should --
429
00:14:49,468 --> 00:14:50,927
Father,
they're ready for you.
430
00:14:52,512 --> 00:14:54,681
Announcer: Stay tuned forSunday "Mass for Shut-Ins,"
431
00:14:54,764 --> 00:14:56,349
coming up next.
432
00:14:56,433 --> 00:14:57,517
Adult Timmy: While Lawrenceprepared to record
433
00:14:57,601 --> 00:14:58,685
my historic TV appearance
434
00:14:58,768 --> 00:15:00,061
using the technologyof the day,
435
00:15:00,145 --> 00:15:01,646
Joey and Eddiewere still trying
436
00:15:01,730 --> 00:15:04,232
to get their handson my dad's Zeppelin tickets,
437
00:15:04,316 --> 00:15:06,776
demonstratinga determination and ingenuity
438
00:15:06,860 --> 00:15:08,320
which would'vemade Dad proud --
439
00:15:08,403 --> 00:15:10,280
if they weren't alsoripping him off.
440
00:15:10,363 --> 00:15:12,782
Pretty good.
441
00:15:12,866 --> 00:15:15,785
And now
for the finishing touch.
442
00:15:15,869 --> 00:15:18,079
You really think
the guys at will-call will believe I'm Dad?
443
00:15:18,163 --> 00:15:19,080
Are you kidding?
444
00:15:19,164 --> 00:15:20,373
You look
so much like Dad,
445
00:15:20,457 --> 00:15:21,666
you should be calling yourself
an idiot right now.
446
00:15:21,750 --> 00:15:22,959
[ Both laugh ]
447
00:15:23,043 --> 00:15:23,960
Timmy's show's
about to start.
448
00:15:24,044 --> 00:15:25,378
[ Sighs ]
449
00:15:25,462 --> 00:15:26,838
Nice try, pal.
450
00:15:29,299 --> 00:15:30,634
Idiot.
451
00:15:30,717 --> 00:15:32,135
[ Organ music plays ]
452
00:15:32,219 --> 00:15:33,553
[ Gasps ] Hey, hey!
453
00:15:33,637 --> 00:15:35,931
Is there any chance that I might
see Benji around here today?
454
00:15:36,014 --> 00:15:37,807
[ Laughs ] Oh.
455
00:15:37,891 --> 00:15:39,184
Well, you never know
with this guy.
456
00:15:39,267 --> 00:15:40,644
Some days, he flies in
457
00:15:40,727 --> 00:15:42,229
from his private island
on his helicopter
458
00:15:42,312 --> 00:15:43,730
just to sit
in his dressing room
459
00:15:43,813 --> 00:15:45,607
and check out
his stock portfolio.
460
00:15:45,690 --> 00:15:46,733
He's got a helicopter?
461
00:15:46,816 --> 00:15:48,151
Of course!
462
00:15:48,235 --> 00:15:49,653
You don't think
he's some pathetic burn-out
463
00:15:49,736 --> 00:15:51,947
who moonlights on the weekend
and had to pawn his Daytime Emmy
464
00:15:52,030 --> 00:15:53,323
just to keep up
with three alimonies.
465
00:15:53,406 --> 00:15:55,116
That would be sad!
466
00:15:55,200 --> 00:15:56,576
[ Sniffles ]
467
00:15:56,660 --> 00:15:58,161
Save your money, kid.
468
00:15:58,245 --> 00:16:00,455
And do not marry women
who are too pretty for you.
469
00:16:01,957 --> 00:16:03,542
Mom, he just said
that Boxcar Benji
470
00:16:03,625 --> 00:16:05,252
might be in his dressing room
right now!
471
00:16:05,335 --> 00:16:07,087
What are you
waiting for?! Go!
472
00:16:07,170 --> 00:16:09,089
It's almost time. I don't
want them starting without me.
473
00:16:09,172 --> 00:16:11,132
How could they?
You're the star of this Mass.
474
00:16:11,216 --> 00:16:13,343
Thank you! Now explain that
to Father Abdi.
475
00:16:13,426 --> 00:16:19,266
{\an8}♪♪
476
00:16:19,349 --> 00:16:20,475
Stage manager:
All right, places.
477
00:16:20,559 --> 00:16:21,601
Two minutes to air.
[ Lock clicks ]
478
00:16:23,061 --> 00:16:24,271
Hello?
479
00:16:24,354 --> 00:16:25,814
Hello?!
480
00:16:25,897 --> 00:16:28,316
Where is Timmy?
The program's about to begin!
481
00:16:28,400 --> 00:16:29,859
Sorry, Sister,
Timmy left.
482
00:16:29,943 --> 00:16:31,695
I guess William
will have to sing his part.
483
00:16:31,778 --> 00:16:33,113
Timmy left?
484
00:16:33,196 --> 00:16:34,990
One of his brothers
has taken seriously ill.
485
00:16:35,073 --> 00:16:36,032
[ Gasps ] Will you
be leaving, too?
486
00:16:36,116 --> 00:16:37,576
Eh, Timmy's got it
covered.
487
00:16:37,659 --> 00:16:38,785
[ Organ music plays ]
488
00:16:38,868 --> 00:16:42,414
Places.
One minute to air.
489
00:16:42,497 --> 00:16:44,666
Everyone take their cue
from William.
490
00:16:44,749 --> 00:16:47,711
And all I ask from you,
my dear boy,
491
00:16:47,794 --> 00:16:51,423
is that you transfix us
with your pure angelic voice,
492
00:16:51,506 --> 00:16:52,716
as you did the other day,
493
00:16:52,799 --> 00:16:54,884
right before
your brother came in
494
00:16:54,968 --> 00:16:56,928
and did it
just a little better.
495
00:16:57,012 --> 00:16:58,930
I won't let you down,
Sister.
496
00:16:59,014 --> 00:17:01,891
More importantly,
I won't let down the music.
497
00:17:01,975 --> 00:17:04,144
S-Since we're
one vocalist short,
498
00:17:04,227 --> 00:17:06,479
instead of just moving my lips,
could I maybe --
499
00:17:06,563 --> 00:17:07,814
No!
500
00:17:07,897 --> 00:17:11,401
We're on the air
in five, four...
501
00:17:11,484 --> 00:17:13,194
Somebody please open the door!
502
00:17:14,362 --> 00:17:16,281
Hello?!
503
00:17:16,364 --> 00:17:18,241
Announcer: Welcome tothe "Mass for Shut-Ins,"
504
00:17:18,325 --> 00:17:22,162
our weekly broadcastof the Catholic liturgy.
505
00:17:22,245 --> 00:17:23,872
I welcome you in Christ's name.
506
00:17:23,955 --> 00:17:26,082
Let us beginwith an opening hymn.
507
00:17:26,166 --> 00:17:28,168
[ Organ music plays ]
508
00:17:30,420 --> 00:17:32,213
[ Organ stops ]
509
00:17:34,841 --> 00:17:36,092
[ Whispering ]
Come on. Sing.
510
00:17:36,176 --> 00:17:36,968
God's waiting!
511
00:17:39,054 --> 00:17:40,930
[ Organ resumes ]
512
00:17:42,974 --> 00:17:43,767
[ Organ stops ]
513
00:17:46,061 --> 00:17:48,063
[ Organ resumes ]
514
00:17:48,146 --> 00:17:49,147
I got this.
515
00:17:49,230 --> 00:17:50,106
Hunh!
516
00:17:50,190 --> 00:17:51,441
[ Organ stops ]
Ungh!
517
00:17:51,524 --> 00:17:53,109
[ Both laugh ]
518
00:17:53,193 --> 00:17:55,987
Oh, I'm glad I captured that
for posterity.
519
00:17:56,071 --> 00:17:57,405
If you want something
done right... [ Organ resumes ]
520
00:18:01,368 --> 00:18:06,456
♪ Ooh, ooh, o-o-oh ♪
♪ Holy, holy, holy ♪
521
00:18:06,539 --> 00:18:10,460
♪ Ooh, ooh, ooh, ooh ♪
♪ Lord, God Almighty ♪
522
00:18:11,670 --> 00:18:15,131
♪ Ooh, ooh, o-o-oh ♪
♪ Early in the morning ♪
523
00:18:15,215 --> 00:18:18,301
Mom's really nice when
she lives in the television.
524
00:18:18,385 --> 00:18:21,429
♪ ...to Thee ♪
525
00:18:21,513 --> 00:18:26,685
♪ Holy, Thou art holy ♪
526
00:18:26,768 --> 00:18:31,272
♪ There is none beside Thee ♪
527
00:18:31,356 --> 00:18:35,694
No! This is the worst thing
to happen to anyone ever!
528
00:18:35,777 --> 00:18:42,367
♪ in love and purity ♪
529
00:18:42,450 --> 00:18:43,702
[ Organ stops ]
530
00:18:43,785 --> 00:18:44,786
[ Sighs ]
531
00:18:44,869 --> 00:18:47,038
More fan mail for me.
532
00:18:47,122 --> 00:18:50,625
Apparently I'm the reason "Barry
from Culver City Renal Care"
533
00:18:50,709 --> 00:18:52,627
found the strength
to soldier on.
534
00:18:52,711 --> 00:18:54,629
Although, he might just be
buttering me up
535
00:18:54,713 --> 00:18:55,755
for one of my kidneys.
536
00:18:55,839 --> 00:18:57,215
Aww. Another one
from prison.
537
00:18:57,298 --> 00:18:58,466
[ Laughs ]
538
00:18:58,550 --> 00:19:00,218
Says he's
a "fan for life."
539
00:19:00,301 --> 00:19:02,303
I can't believe
I got locked out.
540
00:19:02,387 --> 00:19:04,723
I still feel like William
had something to do with it.
541
00:19:04,806 --> 00:19:06,766
He did have
motive and opportunity.
542
00:19:08,309 --> 00:19:09,644
Oh.
Here's one for you.
543
00:19:09,728 --> 00:19:10,895
Really?!
544
00:19:10,979 --> 00:19:12,313
One of your postcards
came back.
545
00:19:12,397 --> 00:19:14,190
I don't think
the producers of "The Waltons"
546
00:19:14,274 --> 00:19:15,859
actually live
on Walton's Mountain.
547
00:19:15,942 --> 00:19:18,570
{\an8}♪♪
548
00:19:18,653 --> 00:19:20,697
[ Door opens ]
Mom, I've been doing a lot of thinking.
549
00:19:20,780 --> 00:19:22,490
Yeah, and I said
knock it off.
550
00:19:22,574 --> 00:19:24,993
You can pick whatever
godless cult you want to when you turn 18,
551
00:19:25,076 --> 00:19:26,786
but for now, every Sunday,
you're in that pew
552
00:19:26,870 --> 00:19:28,621
gutting it out
with the rest of us.
553
00:19:28,705 --> 00:19:30,457
I've realized what happened
to me at the show
554
00:19:30,540 --> 00:19:33,042
couldn't have
just been an accident.
555
00:19:33,126 --> 00:19:35,420
God struck me mute,
556
00:19:35,503 --> 00:19:38,465
like the Angel Gabriel did to
Zachariah in the Gospel of Luke.
557
00:19:38,548 --> 00:19:39,716
You know the story.
558
00:19:39,799 --> 00:19:42,010
Sure.
But...refresh me.
559
00:19:42,093 --> 00:19:44,804
Zachariah was punished
for his lack of faith.
560
00:19:44,888 --> 00:19:45,889
And maybe I was, too.
561
00:19:45,972 --> 00:19:48,224
So I'm back on board
with Catholicism --
562
00:19:48,308 --> 00:19:50,143
mainly because
I'm scared to death of God.
563
00:19:50,226 --> 00:19:52,061
[ Chuckling ]
Oh, sweetie.
564
00:19:52,145 --> 00:19:53,897
[ Inhales sharply,
clicks tongue ]
565
00:19:53,980 --> 00:19:56,191
You finally get it.
566
00:19:56,274 --> 00:19:57,643
Mm.
567
00:20:00,028 --> 00:20:01,613
I got 'em.
568
00:20:01,696 --> 00:20:03,865
Now the question is,
what do I do with them?
569
00:20:03,948 --> 00:20:06,242
Give them to Eddie and Joey?
[ Chuckles ]
570
00:20:06,326 --> 00:20:08,036
And then wait 2 1/2 hours
to give us a ride home?
571
00:20:09,245 --> 00:20:10,580
I pushed it too far,
didn't I?
572
00:20:10,663 --> 00:20:11,998
All right.
Here you go.
573
00:20:12,081 --> 00:20:13,416
Oh!
Oh, hang on.
574
00:20:13,500 --> 00:20:15,335
These tickets
are worth $7?
575
00:20:15,418 --> 00:20:17,796
What do they do, come
over after the concert and paint your house?
576
00:20:17,879 --> 00:20:18,797
That's only face value.
577
00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,299
Scalpers are getting
50 or 60 bucks.
578
00:20:21,382 --> 00:20:22,842
50 or 60?!
579
00:20:22,926 --> 00:20:24,469
W--
580
00:20:24,552 --> 00:20:26,429
I could see these people
being that dumb.
581
00:20:26,513 --> 00:20:27,889
Dad, come on.
582
00:20:27,972 --> 00:20:29,933
Remember that time you
and your brother skipped school
583
00:20:30,016 --> 00:20:31,935
to see Babe Ruth
play against the Pirates?
584
00:20:32,018 --> 00:20:33,436
Oh, a day
I'll never forget.
585
00:20:33,520 --> 00:20:35,688
The Great Bambino hit
his last home run in the majors.
586
00:20:35,772 --> 00:20:37,273
And as he
rounded the bases,
587
00:20:37,357 --> 00:20:39,317
he ate 12 hot dogs
and finished a case of beer!
588
00:20:39,400 --> 00:20:41,110
[ Laughs ]
589
00:20:41,194 --> 00:20:43,029
Greatest athlete
this country will ever know.
590
00:20:43,112 --> 00:20:44,030
Exactly.
591
00:20:44,113 --> 00:20:46,241
And Led Zeppelin
is our Babe Ruth.
592
00:20:46,324 --> 00:20:48,117
So don't rob us
of countless memories
593
00:20:48,201 --> 00:20:49,744
we can bore our kids with.
594
00:20:51,704 --> 00:20:52,997
Yeah! Thanks, Dad!
Ah!
595
00:20:53,081 --> 00:20:54,541
I'll meet you
at our seats.
596
00:20:54,624 --> 00:20:56,042
{\an8}For some reason,
I need a hot dog.
597
00:20:58,253 --> 00:20:59,754
{\an8}I got one here!
One here!
598
00:20:59,838 --> 00:21:01,464
{\an8}Whoa, whoa, whoa!
What are you doing?
599
00:21:01,548 --> 00:21:04,467
{\an8}[ Scoffs ] Memories are great,
but 60 bucks is 60 bucks.
600
00:21:04,551 --> 00:21:05,969
{\an8}You're abandoning your brother
to pocket some cash?
601
00:21:07,178 --> 00:21:08,513
{\an8}Okay, tell you what --
602
00:21:08,596 --> 00:21:10,348
{\an8}what if I used that cash
to buy us both
603
00:21:10,431 --> 00:21:11,891
{\an8}a nice steak dinner
at Sizzler?
604
00:21:15,395 --> 00:21:16,729
{\an8}We got one here!
605
00:21:16,813 --> 00:21:18,231
{\an8}One! One here!
606
00:21:18,314 --> 00:21:20,775
{\an8}Floor seating, section D!
60 bucks!
607
00:21:20,859 --> 00:21:22,861
{\an8}Section D,
we've got one!
608
00:21:22,944 --> 00:21:24,946
{\an8}Best deal all night, all night!
Hey, hey, buddy, you want it?
47044
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