Original subtitles

[ woman vocalizing ]

♪ TRYING TO MAKE YOUR HEART FIT LIKE A GLOVE ♪

♪ WHAT IT NEEDS IS LOVE LOVE LOVE ♪

[ kids chattering ]

♪ EVERYBODY EVERYBODY WANTS TO LOVE ♪

♪ EVERYBODY EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE LOVED ♪

♪ OH OH OH

♪ OH OH OH

- ♪ EVERYBODY EVERYBODY WANTS TO LOVE... ♪ - NO RUNNING!

♪ EVERYBODY EVERYBODY WANTS TO BE LOVED ♪

♪ OH OH OH

- ♪ OH OH OH... - [ school bell rings ]

Girl: EVERY YEAR IT'S WEIRD GOING BACK TO SCHOOL,

SEEING EACH OTHER FACE TO FACE AGAIN,

BUT AT LEAST I HAVE MY BEST FRIENDS JANICE AND EMILY.

WE'RE IN SLO-MO 'CAUSE

THAT'S HOW THE HOT GIRLS ALWAYS SHOW UP.

JUST KIDDING.

WE JUST WANNA LOOK LIKE WE DON'T CARE,

ESPECIALLY IN FRONT OF THE GUYS.

♪ EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT LOVE ♪

- ♪ EVERYBODY... - AND THIS IS ME NOT CARING.

♪ FOR LO-OO-VE...

AND THAT'S JANICE AND LLOYD

PRETENDING TO BE VERY COMPLICATED.

AND WEN? WELL, NOBODY SEEMS TO CARE ABOUT HIM.

HELLO. WHAT'S HAPPENING?

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO FRIENDSHIP--

- AND I MEAN REAL FRIENDSHIP LIKE WITH ME AND KYLE... - DID YOU HAVE A GOOD SUMMER?

...YOU CAN OFFICIALLY CARE AND JUST BE YOURSELF.

- OH, AND HER? - HEY, HOW ARE YOU?

WE CALL HER THE POST-IT, BECAUSE SHE STICKS TO EVERY GUY

AND PRETENDS THAT SHE LOVES THEM.

WHATEVER.

ALL I KNOW IS I'M SICK OF ALL THE PRETENDING.

THE TRUTH IS I JUST WANT TO HAVE A GREAT YEAR...

JUST LIKE LAST YEAR

WHEN I FELL IN LOVE WITH CHAD.

FOREVER.

SPEAKING OF FOREVER,

THAT'S HOW LONG KYLE AND I HAVE BEEN FRIENDS.

I'M HERE! [ laughs ]

I HOPE IT ALWAYS STAYS THAT WAY.

HI!

ANYWAY, HERE WE ARE JUST GOING WITH THE FLOW,

TRYING TO LOVE, LIVE AND LAUGH OUT LOUD,

WHICH IS NICE BECAUSE MY NAME IS LOLA,

BUT EVERYONE CALLS ME LOL.

DUDE, I CANNOT BELIEVE

SHE HIJACKED MY ZADIG BAG.

I HAD TO SPECIAL ORDER THIS THING.

OH MY GOD, YOUR NEW SONG IS AMAZING.

- YOU LIKED IT? - THAT GUITAR SOLO IS HOT.

LADIES, LADIES, WELCOME BACK. AHH-OOOO!

- OKAY, WEN, DON'T EVEN TRY IT, OKAY? - WELCOME BACK, WELCOME BACK.

- YOU KNOW YOU WANT ME, GIRL. - YEAH, OKAY, I WANT YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE.

- OH, I LIKE IT! ALONE? TONIGHT? - YES.

GOOD, I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT ALONE.

- FREAK. - [ grunts ]

OH MY GOD, HE IS SO GORGEOUS IT HURTS.

I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU'RE TAKING TRIG CLASS JUST FOR HIM.

SO YOU MISS ME?

YEAH. DID YOU MISS ME?

- MM-HMM. - HOW WAS THE CAMP COUNSELOR THING?

UH, IT WAS-- IT WAS BRUTAL.

- YOU DIDN'T CALL OR TEXT ME. - I DID!

YOU JUST, UM-- YOU DIDN'T GET IT BECAUSE THERE WAS NO RECEPTION.

PLUS I KINDA...

HOOKED UP WITH THIS GIRL-- ANOTHER COUNSELOR.

YEAH, NO PROBLEM. I JUST--

- IT'S JUST A ONE-TIME THING. - NO, IT'S COOL.

I'M HAPPY YOU SAID THAT 'CAUSE I...

HOOKED UP WITH SOMEBODY TOO, JUST TO TRY IT.

I REALLY HOPE YOU KEPT HIS NUMBER.

I MEAN, I'D HATE FOR YOU TO END UP ALL ALONE.

I'VE GOT IT ON SPEED DIAL.

HEY, LOLA, ARE YOU OKAY?

- LOLA! - HEY, LOLA, ARE YOU OKAY?

[ crying ]

- [ laughing ] - [ toy squeaking ]

HEY, SO WHAT HAPPENED WITH VOLLEYBALL?

- I GOT A STOMACHACHE. - Girl: SO YOU'LL BE THE DOLPHIN.

WHAT'S HIS NAME?

IS-- LOLA, IS THAT A BRAZILIAN?

- MOM! - MOM WHAT?

NOTHING. IT'S JUST--

IT'S MY BODY AND I'LL TAKE CARE OF IT HOW I WANT TO.

NO, IT'S NOT AND I'M NOT GONNA LET YOU BE A PORN STAR.

- WHAT'S A PORN STAR? - Both: NOTHING.

YOU HAVEN'T DONE ANYTHING WITH, LIKE, BOYS?

I MEAN YOU WOULD TELL ME, RIGHT?

YES, MOM, I WOULD TELL YOU. I JUST WANT TO TAKE A NICE RELAXING SHOWER

AND HANG OUT WITH MY FAMILY AND THEN HERE YOU GO,

PUTTING ME ON TRIAL FOR MY GROOMING CHOICES. I'M NOT A BABY ANYMORE.

- HEY, AND COME BACK AND PICK UP THESE CLOTHES. - [ door opens ]

- I'M NOT YOUR MAID. - [ door closes ]

Lola's voice: "AREN'T MOTHERS SUPPOSED TO HAVE

SOME KIND OF PROTECTIVE INSTINCT?

SHE HAS NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE OUT THERE.

THIS WAS SO NOT A PERFECT DAY."

[ sighs ]

[ keyboard clacks ]

[ cell phone chimes ]

AH, MY BABY.

I LOVE YOU, MOM.

I LOVE YOU TOO.

MOM, HURRY.

MOM, COME ON. YOU'RE MAKING ME LATE.

THEN WAKE UP EARLIER. I'M NOT YOUR CHAUFFEUR.

I HAVEN'T EVEN HAD MY COFFEE YET.

LOLA, IS THAT MY SWEATER? QUIT STEALING MY THINGS!

OH YEAH, MOM, YOU WANT ME TO FREEZE?

- DEPENDS. WILL IT MAKE YOU NICER? - HMMM.

- [ muffled music playing ] - SO HERE I AM DRIVING YOU TO SCHOOL,

THINKING, "OOOH, IT'S GONNA BE GREAT. WE CAN HAVE SOME GOOD CONVERSATION.

WE CAN, LIKE, CONNECT WITH ONE ANOTHER."

BUT HERE YOU ARE IN YOUR BUBBLE, BUT I'M NOT IN THAT BUBBLE.

AND I'M RIGHT HERE. I'M RIGHT HERE.

♪ Saw her today at a reception ♪

♪ In her glass was a bleeding man... ♪

HEY HEY HEY! [ snaps ]

WHAT? HERE HERE.

♪ I could tell by her bloodstained hands... ♪

GO.

♪ YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT... ♪

- HEY. - ♪ YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT ♪

♪ Oooh, yeah

♪ YOU CAN'T ALWAYS GET WHAT YOU WANT ♪

♪ BUT IF YOU TRY SOMETIMES YOU JUST MIGHT FIND ♪

- ♪ YOU JUST MIGHT FIND... - Lola: HEY.

♪ YOU GET WHAT YOU NEED!

♪ Oooh, yeah

♪ Aw, baby

♪ Whoo

♪ Aw, you can't always get what you want ♪

♪ No no, baby, you can't always get what you want. ♪

AND YOUR REASON FOR BEING LATE IS?

UM, WELL, YOU'RE GONNA LAUGH.

THIS IS AS MUCH AS I LAUGH.

[ snickering ]

DID YOU SEE HER FACE?

- SHE TOTALLY WANTS ME. - OH, SHUT UP.

SO DID YOU MAKE UP WITH CHAD?

NO.

WELL, I JUST WANT YOU TO KNOW THAT IF I WERE HIM

I'D NEVER LET YOU GO.

- YEAH, BUT YOU'RE NOT HIM. - I KNOW WE'RE FRIENDS,

- BUT I DON'T ALWAYS AGREE WITH HIM. - I KNOW.

I KINDA WANT US TO STAY FRIENDS.

- ME TOO. - COOL.

COOL.

Teacher: X-SQUARED + 9X + 14,

B = 9,

C = 14. ANY QUESTIONS?

ALL RIGHT, PAY ATTENTION. LET'S KEEP IT MOVING, PEOPLE. NEXT EQUATION.

EMILY, CAN YOU SOLVE THIS?

DO YOU NEED SOME HELP SOLVING THIS?

UH-HUH.

OKAY WELL, IT'S NOT THAT COMPLICATED.

FIRST TO FIND THE RANGE FOR "F,"

WE MUST SOLVE FOR THE INVERSE OF

"F" TO THE -1 POWER.

- WHEN X = X+1 OVER... - [ pop music playing ]

♪ IT FEELS SO GOOD

♪ YOU LYING HERE NEXT TO ME ♪

♪ OH, WHAT A GROOVE

♪ YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW IT FEELS ♪

♪ MY HANDS JUST WON'T KEEP STILL ♪

♪ OOOH

♪ I LOVE YOU, BABE--

...X+1 OVER X-2.

YEAH, YOU GOT THAT?

- YEAH. - OKAY.

EVERYBODY GOT THAT?

♪ I'M GONNA LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU, LOVE YOU ♪

♪ JUST A LITTLE MORE, BABY--

- [ door opens ] - SORRY I'M LATE.

YEAH YEAH, COME IN.

- [ teacher lecturing ] - MAN, THE GIRLS ARE IN HEAT, HUH?

- YEAH, YOU WOULD KNOW. - WHAT?

WHAT'S YOUR PROBLEM?

- [ teacher speaking French ] - [ students chattering ]

SILENCE, S'IL VOUS PLAIT. THAT'S NOT FUNNY!

DO YOU WANT TO GO TO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE?

- WHAT? IT'S A FRENCH BAGUETTE. - [ laughter ]

- SORRY I'M LATE. - [ teacher speaks French ]

- SORRY. - HEY, ENOUGH WITH THE FEET, HUH?

QUIET PLEASE. AND YOU, PUT IT AWAY. WE DO NOT EAT IN CLASS.

- [ phone rings ] - [ speaks French ]

THE FIRST ONE WHO USES HIS PHONE--

- [ phones ringing, quacking ] - [ laughter ]

KEEP IT UP, I'LL CANCEL THE SPRING-BREAK TRIP TO PARIS.

UM.

OH, THANKS.

SO MY MOM WANTED TO KNOW IF YOU DO ANY, LIKE,

HOME TUTORING CLASSES.

UH, TUTORING FOR WHAT?

UM, FOR TRIG OF COURSE.

- FOR YOUR MOTHER? - NO, FOR-- FOR ME.

OH, RIGHT RIGHT RIGHT. SORRY.

- NO-- - UM, NO.

NO, I'M SORRY, I'M ALREADY ALL BOOKED UP THIS SEMESTER.

WHAT, EVEN ON, LIKE, FRIDAY NIGHTS?

YEAH, EVEN ON FRIDAY NIGHTS.

WELL, THAT'S TOO BAD. YEAH.

I GUESS I'LL JUST-- I'LL SEE YOU AROUND THEN?

MM-HMM, YEAH. I'LL SEE YOU IN CLASS.

OKAY, I'LL SEE YOU AROUND.

UH, I'LL SEE YOU IN CLASS.

OKAY. [ giggles ]

WHEN I WENT TO TALK TO HIM IN THE CLASS, HE GOT ALL BLUSHY.

- OH GOD. - HE GOT ALL RED WHEN I WAS TALKING TO HIM.

- HE'S YOUR TEACHER! - NO, I DON'T CARE.

- SHUT UP. - OKAY LOOK, CHAD'S OVER THERE.

- DO YOU WANT TO GO? - NO, IT'S FINE.

- WHY? - Lola: BECAUSE SHE'D BE HAPPY IF WE LEFT.

- HEY, HANDSOME. - WHY IS SHE ALWAYS WITH THEM?

BECAUSE SHE'S A POST-IT. SHE STICKS TO EVERYTHING.

- THAT OUTFIT, REALLY? NO. - Lola: I KNOW.

I REALLY LIKE YOUR SHIRT.

- YEAH? I LIKE WHAT'S UNDER YOUR SHIRT. - HEY!

- STOP. - Lloyd: WHAT UP, WHAT UP?

CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

- GO AHEAD. - LET'S GO OVER HERE.

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

SO, UM,

NOW THAT YOU'RE GIVING IT UP TO EVERYBODY,

- I FIGURED MAYBE I COULD GET SOME. - ARE YOU SERIOUS?

- Kyle: UH-OH. - Lloyd: WHOA, WHAT WAS THAT ABOUT?

- CLASSY, BRO. - Chad: WHAT DO YOU CARE?

"I HATE CHAD. I HATE EVERY STUPID SECOND I SPENT OBSESSING OVER HIM.

WHAT A WASTE."

[ phone ringing ]

Man: So are you gonna come over tonight?

Mother: No, we can't do this every night.

What's the point of being divorced?

[ beeps ]

"OH MY GOD!

DAD'S TOTALLY HOOKING UP WITH MOM AGAIN.

OR IS IT THE OTHER WAY AROUND? WHATEVER IT IS,

I JUST CAN'T GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN."

OKAY, SO AFTER JIMMY CARTER, IT WAS RON...?

RONALD--

RONALD McDONALD?!

- YOU'RE SO STUPID! - ETHAN, PLEASE, TRY TO BE HUMAN.

OKAY, SO RONALD REAGAN...

Lola's voice: I STILL CAN'T BELIEVE THE SECRET GUY MOM'S DATING

IS DAD.

WHAT ELSE IS SHE HIDING?

WHAT? WHAT'S WITH THAT LOOK?

NOTHING. JUST LOOKING.

[ huffs ] OKAY, SO KEEP GOING. RONALD REAGAN.

SHHH. TAKE OFF YOUR SHOES.

WHY? THE KIDS ARE SLEEPING.

YES, AND I-- I-- THE FLOOR CREAKS.

SHHH.

I'M LIKE A THIEF IN MY OWN HOME.

EX-HOME.

Mother: YOU THINK IT'S A MISTAKE I'M SEEING MY EX-HUSBAND AGAIN?

MM-HMM.

MM-HMM YES,

MM-HMM NO?

MM-HMM.

COULD YOU STOP SAYING MM-HMM AND JUST GIVE ME A REAL ANSWER?

MM-HMM.

OH.

- [ flute screeching ] - [ keyboards clacking ]

STOP IT, ETHAN!

- JACKSON! - STOP IT.

- [ flute continues screeching ] - JACKSON, SHUT UP!

STOP IT! SHOVE IT UP YOUR ASS.

MOM, DID YOU HEAR THAT?

LOLA, LANGUAGE.

JACKSON, I'LL KILL YOU!

- I SWEAR TO GOD. - MOM MOM, I NEED TO PRACTICE!

I AM SO TIRED OF THAT. GIVE IT TO ME.

GIVE IT TO ME.

- MOM! - YOU--!

MOMMY!

MOM, EMILY WON'T LET ME PRACTICE.

IT'S TIME FOR DINNER.

Woman #2: Dinner's on the table.

You were supposed to be here a half an hour ago.

FINE, OKAY? I'M COMING BACK.

- You know your father. - OKAY, WHATEVER.

SORRY, GUYS, I GOTTA BAIL.

BAIL? DUDE, WE GOTTA PRACTICE. COME ON.

I'LL MAKE IT UP NEXT TIME, I PROMISE.

MAKE IT UP? DUDE, WE'RE GONNA SUCK IF WE DON'T PRACTICE.

- BATTLE OF THE BANDS IS COMING UP. - WE'RE NOT GONNA SUCK.

WE'VE BEEN PUTTING IN THE TIME. IT'S GONNA BE FINE, OKAY?

- [ groans ] - DUDE, THESE KIDS PRACTICE EVERY DAY.

ALL RIGHT? THEY DON'T HAVE TO GO HOME WHEN MOMMY CALLS.

- I'LL SEE YOU LATER. - [ door opens ]

- WE'RE SO SCREWED. - [ door closes ]

COME ON, EVERYBODY GETS A FLYER. LET'S GO.

Post-it: COME CHECK THEM OUT. THEY'RE INCREDIBLE AND SO GOOD.

- NO SHAMPOO. - Post-it: HEY, COME TO SEE NO SHAMPOO TONIGHT.

- SEMIFINALS. - Chad: SEMIFINALS TONIGHT.

LADIES, GET IN FREE. COME CHECK US OUT-- NO SHAMPOO.

GUYS, $10.

- Post-it: COME CHECK 'EM OUT. - WHAT KIND OF MUSIC?

INDIE AND A LITTLE BIT OF EVERYTHING.

WELL, IF YOU'RE THERE, I'M THERE.

- Guy: COME CHECK US OUT AT THE METRO TONIGHT. - YOU'RE PASSING OUT FLYERS NOW?

UH, YEAH, BUT APPARENTLY IT WORKS BETTER IF YOU'RE PRETTY.

- UH, LIKE YOU WOULD KNOW. - OH, DON'T BE JEALOUS.

- DON'T WORRY. - I NEVER DO.

♪ ONCE I WAS SCREWED, NOW I'M WINNING ♪

♪ I WON'T LET YOU GO

♪ NOW YOU KNOW

♪ I'VE BEEN CRAZY FOR YOU ALL THIS TIME ♪

♪ I'VE KEPT IT CLOSE

♪ ALWAYS HOPING

♪ WITH A HEART ON FIRE

♪ A HEART ON FIRE

♪ HEART ON FIRE

♪ A HEART ON FIRE

[ silent ]

♪ I WON'T LET YOU GO

♪ NOW YOU KNOW

♪ I'VE BEEN CRAZY FOR YOU ALL THIS TIME ♪

♪ WON'T LET YOU GO, NOW YOU KNOW ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN CRAZY FOR YOU ALL THIS TIME ♪

♪ I'VE KEPT IT CLOSE...

Chad: I SWEAR, GUYS, IF WE DON'T MAKE IT THROUGH AFTER THAT--

- MY GOD, YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT THROUGH. - ALL RIGHT.

- YOU DID SO GOOD. - YOU THINK SO?

- I KNOW SO. - THANKS.

- [ Lola mocking ] "I KNOW SO." - Chad: THAT WAS SO GREAT.

- YOU REALLY ARE AMAZING. - NO,

- YOU'RE AMAZING. - [ heart beating ]

- KYLE! - [ heartbeat stops ]

ARE YOU COMING?

YEAH YEAH.

Guy: DUDE, COME ON.

- Kyle: MAN, THAT WAS GREAT. - Chad: WE'RE GONNA ROCK IT NEXT TIME.

[ chatting ]

AH, THERE HE IS. SO WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?

AT CHAD'S WORKING ON A HISTORY PROJECT.

- OH, HOW DID IT GO? - REALLY GREAT.

IT'S ABOUT THE, UM, INDUSTRIAL REVOLUTION.

- HON, WANT SOME SOUP? - THANK YOU.

SO, UM, HEY, DAD, REMEMBER THAT BATTLE OF THE BANDS THING I TOLD YOU ABOUT?

THE WINNERS, THEY GET A RECORD DEAL.

IT'S REALLY MORE OF A SHOWCASE, BUT WE MIGHT HAVE A SPOT.

PASS ME THE SALT.

DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?

YEAH. DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?

WE'LL TALK ABOUT MUSIC WHEN YOUR GRADES ARE BETTER.

THANK YOU.

[ bells ringing ]

LOLA, I SAID NO. I'M ON MY WAY HOME.

I'M AT THE COURTHOUSE. BECAUSE I GOT A TICKET.

YOU KNOW WHAT? ENOUGH WITH THIS INQUISITION.

- I'M GONNA JUST SEE YOU AT HOME. - [ cracks ]

OH.

OH SHIT, REALLY?

- [ groans ] - NEED SOME HELP?

NOT UNLESS YOU CAN FIX THIS.

- NOT EXACTLY MY SKILL SET. - YEAH, TOO BAD.

TOO BAD.

SO WHERE ARE WE GOING?

- WHAT? - YOU CAN'T LIMP HOME

AND I DOUBT YOU'LL FIND A CAB THIS TIME OF DAY.

WELL, THEY KEPT ME IN THERE FOREVER.

STUPID ASSHOLE COPS, GIVING ME A TICKET

JUST 'CAUSE MY REGISTRATION'S EXPIRED ONE DAY.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA FIND A CAB.

TRUST ME, I'M A VERY SAFE DRIVER.

OKAY.

- UM... - NEED SOME HELP?

YEAH.

COME ON. WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

HEY, WHAT ABOUT YOUR HELMET? THE COPS'LL JUST BUST YOU FOR ANYTHING.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. I THINK WE'LL BE OKAY.

HAVE A GOOD ONE, DETECTIVE.

Man: YOU TOO. HAVE A GOOD ONE.

- READY? - YEAH.

- OH, LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT. IT GETS STUCK SOMETIMES. - OKAY.

UM, THANKS.

I'M SORRY I INSULTED YOUR ENTIRE PROFESSION.

THAT'S OKAY. I'M KINDA USED TO IT.

I APPRECIATE THE RESCUE.

ANYTIME.

- IS HE HOT? - [ women laughing ]

YOU'RE SO BAD.

IT DOESN'T MATTER BECAUSE I'M NOT GOING TO GO OUT WITH SOME--

- SOME RANDOM COP. - ALL RIGHT, WELL THEN,

ONE NIGHT, QUICK AND DIRTY.

- ONE NIGHT. - NO, 'CAUSE THAT'S REALLY NOT MY STYLE.

- WHO, THE GUY? - NO, THE QUICK AND DIRTY.

- [ toilet flushing ] - OKAY, YOU'VE BEEN DIVORCED FOR MORE THAN A YEAR.

IT'S TIME TO STEP IT UP, GET YOUR GAME ON.

LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING, IF I WAS A DIVORCED WOMAN--

IF YOU WERE A DIVORCED WOMAN WHAT?

NOTHING NOTHING.

- NOTHING. - EVERYTHING.

I'D SLEEP WITH A DIFFERENT GUY EVERY SINGLE NIGHT.

- JUST LIKE YOU DO. - OH REALLY?

I HAVEN'T SLEPT WITH ANYBODY BUT YOU.

I'M NOT TALKING ABOUT YOU. I'M TALKING ABOUT MEN.

- Man: MMM. - MEN.

OH, YOU MEAN US. YOU MEAN US MEN.

- THE GREAT CONFEDERATION OF BASTARDS. - HEY, LOOK WHO'S HERE.

MOM, JEREMY GOT A SCOOTER!

- Mother: JEREMY GOT A SCOOTER. - JEREMY GOT A SCOOTER?

- YEAH, DAD SAID IT WAS COOL. - SURPRISE.

- YEAH. - YEAH, I GOT THE KID A SCOOTER.

- WAIT, EXCUSE ME, WE DISCUSSED THIS. - I THINK I SHOULD GET ONE TOO.

I MEAN, I COULD AVOID BEING LATE FOR SCHOOL.

- IT'S NOT GONNA HAPPEN. - WHY?

BECAUSE I'M NOT GONNA GO AND BE PEELING YOU UP OFF OF THE SIDEWALK

- BECAUSE YOU'VE BEEN SPLATTERED-- - THAT'S DRAMATIC.

IT'S NOT DRAMATIC AND IT'S NOT HAPPENING.

- WHATEVER. - WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

I GOTTA SHOW JEREMY SOMETHING ON THE COMPUTER.

I KNOW, BUT I SET THE TABLE.

NO, WE'LL COME BACK. IT'S JUST WE'RE NOT

REALLY INTERESTED IN THE SENIOR CONVERSATIONS.

- THANKS, DAD. - Mother: WHAT?

SENIOR CONVER-- WE'RE NOT INTERESTED IN YOUR TEENAGE CONVERSATIONS.

- ARE YOU SERIOUS? - Mother: SHE'S SO POLITE.

I'M DYEING MY BEARD.

♪ I won't let you go, now you know... ♪

- WHAT DO YOU THINK? - NOT BAD.

- WHO IS IT? - THAT'S MY FRIEND KYLE.

- AH, OKAY, MR. KYLE. - OH, SHUT UP.

- DOES LOLA SMOKE? - ARE YOU CRAZY?

DO YOU SMOKE, YOU KNOW, IN FRONT OF HER?

NEVER.

WHAT ABOUT JEREMY?

DON'T WORRY ABOUT JEREMY. HE HATES DRUGS.

[ coughs ] I THINK I'M GOING TO SURFING CAMP.

- WHAT ABOUT YOU? - I DON'T KNOW.

BUT MY DAD IS TOTALLY DOING MY MOM AGAIN.

NO SHIT. ARE YOU COOL WITH THAT?

NO! I'M SICK OF THEM LYING TO ME

AND I KNOW THAT IT'S NEVER GOING TO WORK.

I KNOW THE FEELING.

UM, SO I NEED TO ASK YOU A FAVOR.

OKAY, WHAT DO YOU NEED?

I NEED YOU TO SLEEP WITH ME.

WAIT, YOU KNOW, WOMEN DON'T JUST SCREW.

OKAY? THEY NEED LIKE AN EMOTIONAL ATTACHMENT.

- DO WE? - Man: THOUGH I WILL SAY THIS,

THAT NO MATTER HOW LIBERATED YOU WOMEN THINK YOU ARE,

MALE SEXUALITY AND FEMALE SEXUALITY-- VERY DIFFERENT.

COME ON, WHAT'S THE BIG DEAL? IT'S NOT LIKE I ASKED YOU FOR EUTHANASIA.

IT'S JUST ONE LITTLE FAVOR.

- YOU'VE KNOWN ME FOREVER. COME ON. - IT'S NOT JUST A LITTLE FAVOR.

OKAY? WHAT WOULD YOU SAY IF I ASKED YOU?

- YES. - WELL, I SAY NO, OKAY?

I RESPECT YOU TOO MUCH.

YOU GUYS SUCK WITH YOUR STUPID RESPECT.

WHEN WE DON'T RESPECT YOU WE'RE ASSHOLES AND WHEN WE DO, WE SUCK.

ALL RIGHT FINE. NEXT SUBJECT.

WHY DON'T YOU DO IT WITH MR. KYLE?

BECAUSE HE THINKS I DID IT ALREADY AND IF I ASK HIM,

THEN HE'S GONNA KNOW THAT I'M LYING.

- AND SO WILL CHAD. - WOW, YOU WOMEN REALLY ARE NUTS.

WE ARE NOT NUTS. SINCE LUCY HAS BROKEN UP WITH RICK,

SHE'S GOING OUT WITH A TON OF GUYS.

EVERYBODY KNOWS THAT LUCY IS A SLUT.

- OH! - SHE'S HAVING THE TIME OF HER LIFE

AND I DOUBT ANYONE'S FARTING IN HER BED.

MMM! I'M SO SORRY. YOU USED TO LOVE MY FARTS.

- I WAS LYING TO YOU. - WHAT ABOUT YOU AND ALLEN?

YOU GUYS STILL SEE EACH OTHER?

YOU KNOW, JUST WITH THE KIDS.

GOOD. BECAUSE WE SAW ALLEN THE OTHER DAY

WITH THE BIGGEST BIMBO. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN THIS GIRL. REMEMBER HER, ROMAN?

OKAY, JUST BECAUSE HE WAS WITH HER, DOESN'T MEAN HE WAS WITHHER.

- Wife: DARLING. - Roman: HUH-UH.

IT DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING, OKAY?

OH SHIT. DID I JUST SAY SOMETHING DUMB?

NOT AT ALL.

WHY?

- MORE PIE? - Roman: YES PLEASE.

- Woman: I'D LOVE SOME, THANKS. - Roman: YES.

SHHH.

[ snoring ]

[ whistling ]

HEY!

ARE YOU SEEING SOMEONE ELSE?

WHAT?

YOU HEARD ME.

YOU MEAN...

AM-AM I-- AM I SLEEPING

WITH SOMEONE ELSE?

- EXACTLY. - I--

WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?

SO YOU'RE NOT SEEING ANYONE ELSE BESIDES ME?

I--

WHAT?

I DON'T KNOW. I THOUGHT WE WERE BACK TOGETHER.

WHY ARE YOU EVEN ASKING ME THIS?

ARE WE?

- [ school bell ringing ] - [ kids chattering ]

I HATE HER. LOOK AT HER.

- EVEN HER UNDERWEAR IS SKANKVILLE. - TOTALLY.

'CAUSE THAT IS STUFF THEY WRITE SONGS ABOUT.

- I WISH I HAD HER ASS THOUGH. - OH, COME ON!

- Janice: WHAT? - THAT ASS IS A FULL-TIME JOB FOR HER.

Janice: YOU KNOW WHAT? NO MATTER IF I WORK OUT

AND I DO ANYTHING, MY ASS IS ALWAYS GONNA BE FLAT.

EM, ARE THOSE CARE BEARS UNDEROOS?

SHUT UP, OKAY? IT'S ALL MY MOM WILL BUY.

- WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO ABOUT IT? - MOM JUST GOT A TON OF STUFF

FROM VICTORIA'S SECRET THAT DOESN'T FIT. DO YOU WANT IT?

- UH, YEAH. - OKAY.

YEAH NO, I NEED SOMETHING THAT COLIN'S GOING TO LIKE.

- WHO'S COLIN? - MR. ROSS, THE TRIG TEACHER.

- ARE YOU KIDDING ME? - Janice: YUP!

- DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT. - YOU'RE SICK.

- DOUBLE DOUBLE DOUBLE, RIGHT HERE. YOU'RE SICK. - Both: YOU'RE SICK.

- Woman: HEADS UP! - Guy: WHOO!

[ cheering ]

EMILY, EMILY, FREE ME. COME ON, I LOVE YOU, BABY.

- OKAY NO, GO BOTHER SOMEBODY ELSE. - NO, COME ON.

[ whistle blowing ]

- HEY! WATCH IT! - WHAT? I WAS JUST GOING FOR THE BALL.

- Kyle: HEY, LOLA, YOU OKAY? - IT'S NOT FUNNY! WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING?

IT'S ALWAYS FUNNY WHEN SOMEONE FALLS.

YO, CAN WE PLAY? COME ON!

WALK AWAY. JUST IGNORE HIM. HE'S A JERK.

[ whistle blows ]

- STOP FOLLOWING ME. - YOU WISH.

- SKANK-ASS HO. - STOP CALLING ME THAT!

- STOP CALLING ME THAT-- STOP! - COME ON, WHAT ARE YOU GONNA DO?

COME ON, LEAVE IT.

- WOW, YOU'RE PRETTY HOT WHEN YOU'RE MAD. - SCREW YOU!

- Emily: LOLA, WALK AWAY. - NOW THAT YOU KNOW HOW.

- JUST GET OUT OF HERE. LEAVE IT, COME ON. - Lola: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

CALM DOWN. NO NO, LOLA!

- STOP! - COME ON, COME ON.

I CAN'T BELIEVE I EVER DATED YOU!

- GET A GRIP, DUDE. - KYLE THE HERO.

Janice: JUST STOP IT. WALK AWAY.

LOOK, IT'S NOT MY FAULT. HE WON'T QUIT HARASSING ME.

- YOU WISH. - NOW YOU GUYS ARE HARASSING ME.

PLEASE DON'T CALL MY MOM.

- GIVE ME YOUR PHONE. - NO, MOM, PLEASE, YOU CAN'T DO THAT.

OH, YES I CAN. BAD GRADES ARE ONE THING,

BUT THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!

MOM, I SWEAR IT'S NOT MY FAULT.

- WHOSE FAULT IS IT THEN? - I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

FINE. YOU DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT THEN GIVE ME YOUR PHONE.

I DON'T HAVE IT. IT'S AT JANICE'S.

IT'S-- IT'S AT JANICE'S. I SW-- MOM.

[ phone chimes ]

- NO, MOM, THAT'S NOT FAIR! - YOU KNOW WHAT'S NOT FAIR?

IS ME BEING CALLED OUT OF A CLIENT MEETING

- BECAUSE YOU STARTED A FIGHT AT SCHOOL. - IT'S NOT MY FAULT!

AND YOU KNOW WHAT? THAT WHOLE FRIDAY NIGHT GET-TOGETHER DEAL IS OFF.

CHAD CALLED ME A HO, OKAY?

WHAT, DO YOU WANT ME TO LET IT GO AND-AND-- AND SAY THANK YOU?

- YOUR CHAD? - HE'S NOT MY CHAD ANYMORE, MOM.

WHY DID HE CALL YOU THAT?

GOD, DO YOU HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING?

YEAH, I DO, IF YOU WANT YOUR PHONE BACK.

- THAT'S BLACKMAIL, MOM. - I KNOW.

- STOP! - [ chimes ]

OH, AND LOOK HERE-- YOU'RE GETTING A TEXT FROM EMILY

- AND SHE SAYS "HEY." - NO, MOM, STOP!

CHAD SLEPT WITH SOMEBODY ELSE, SO TO PRETEND I WAS OKAY WITH IT,

I SAID THAT I DID TOO, OKAY?

- DID YOU? - NO.

IS THAT ALL THAT YOU CARE ABOUT IS IF I HAD SEX OR NOT?

NO, THAT IS NOT ALL THAT I CARE ABOUT.

I DON'T WANT YOU MAKING STUPID MISTAKES OUT OF SPITE.

BABY, I CARE ABOUT YOU.

[ sighs ]

I KNOW. I'M SORRY, MOM.

WHY DIDN'T YOU TALK TO ME?

I LOVE YOU, MOM.

I LOVE YOU, BABY.

CAN I HAVE MY PHONE BACK NOW?

- AND HAVE MY PARTY ON FRIDAY? - [ huffs ]

- TWO FRIENDS. - MMM, SIX.

- FOUR. - DEAL.

♪ I WALKED ACROSS

♪ AN EMPTY LAND

♪ I KNEW THE PATHWAY LIKE THE BACK OF MY HAND ♪

♪ I FELT THE EARTH

♪ BENEATH MY FEET

♪ SAT BY THE RIVER AND IT MADE ME COMPLETE ♪

♪ OH, SIMPLE THING, WHERE HAVE YOU GONE? ♪

♪ I'M GETTING OLD AND I NEED SOMETHING TO RELY ON ♪

♪ SO TELL ME WHEN

♪ YOU'RE GONNA LET ME IN

♪ I'M GETTING TIRED AND I NEED SOMEWHERE TO BEGIN ♪

♪ I CAME ACROSS

♪ A FALLEN TREE

♪ I FELT THE BRANCHES OF IT LOOKING AT ME ♪

♪ IS THIS THE PLACE

♪ WE USED TO LOVE?

♪ IS THIS THE PLACE THAT I'VE BEEN DREAMING OF? ♪

♪ OH, SIMPLE THING

♪ WHERE HAVE YOU GONE?

♪ I'M GETTING OLD AND I NEED SOMETHING TO RELY ON ♪

♪ SO TELL ME WHEN

♪ YOU'RE GONNA LET ME IN

- ♪ I'M GETTING TIRED... - Lola's voice: "I CAN'T LOVE HIM, BUT I DO.

I FEEL SO REAL WITH HIM. IF HE FIGURES IT OUT,

IT'LL TOTALLY RUIN OUR FRIENDSHIP. OKAY.

I'M JUST GONNA HAVE TO HIDE IT."

♪ SO WHY DON'T WE GO SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW? ♪

♪ SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW ♪

♪ SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW.

HEY, LOL, MAYBE WE SHOULD--

UM, YOU KNOW. I DON'T WANT CHAD TO GET THE WRONG IDEA.

- HE'S SO JEALOUS. - I DON'T BLAME HIM.

WELL, I'M FLATTEREDYOU STILL WANT TO HANG OUT WITH ME.

WELL, I LOVE HANGING OUT WITH YOU.

- GO. - ALL RIGHT, I'LL SEE YOU LATER.

SEE YOU LATER.

WHERE'S MY CHICKEN?

JACKSON, MY CHICKEN!

JACKSON.

- WHAT? - MY CHICKEN, WHERE IS IT?

HOW SHOULD I KNOW?

OH REALLY?

- WHAT IS THAT? - MOM, I SWEAR--

I WILL NOT TOLERATE LYING IN MY HOME!

[ sighs ] I HATE MY LIFE.

WAIT, WHERE DID YOU SAY YOU WERE GOING?

IT'S JUST A SPA WEEKEND WITH THE GIRLS.

- WHAT GIRLS? - UM, ACTUALLY,

I-- YOU DON'T KNOW THEM.

YOU HAVE FRIENDS THAT I DON'T KNOW?

LIKE WHO?

SO WAIT, WHY AREN'T EMMA AND ETHAN GOING WITH DAD?

BECAUSE HE'S GOING OUT OF TOWN THIS WEEKEND.

- SO, MOM? - Woman: YES DEAR.

- YOU'VE GOT THIS COVERED? - YES DEAR, SHE GETS TO HAVE THREE FRIENDS.

- ONLY THREE, I MEAN IT. - AND PIZZA.

- ONLY PIZZA, THAT'S IT! - I KINDA WANT CHINESE.

DON'T LET THEM SWEET-TALK YOU, BECAUSE THEY ARE RUTHLESS.

- ME? - REALLY? WHAT A SURPRISE.

CHINESE IT IS. OKAY, HERE YOU GO.

HERE'S YOUR BAG.

ARE YOU GUYS TRYING TO GET RID OF ME?

- NO! - YES.

- BYE. - BUH-BYE.

- LOVE YOU, MOM. - Mother: LOVE YOU.

- PARTY TIME! - NO WAY, THREE FRIENDS.

- COME ON. - MAYBE FIVE.

- COME ON. - JUST FIVE.

YOU KNOW WHEN SHE SAYS THREE, SHE MEANS LIKE 30.

- NO, SHE DOESN'T. - COME ON, BE COOL.

Grandma: THAT'S AS COOL AS I GET.

[ laughing ]

YOU KNEW SHE WAS GONNA GO SPEND THE WEEKEND WITH DAD, HUH?

YES. IT'S SO ROMANTIC-- THEY'RE SNEAKING AROUND LIKE TEENAGERS.

UNFORTUNATELY TEENAGERS AREN'T LIKE THAT ANYMORE.

OH, SWEETIE.

OH, THEY'RE SO CUTE.

- I GUESS SO. - [ car engine starts ]

♪ RISE ABOVE, GONNA START THE WAR ♪

Mom: YEEHAW.

♪ WHAT YOU WANT, WHAT YOU NEED, WHAT YOU COME HERE FOR? ♪

SO DO YOU PLAY BASKETBALL?

- YEAH, I PLAY A LOT. - HOW TALL ARE YOU?

I'M ABOUT 6'2".

UH, EXCUSE ME, MA'AM, WOULD YOU LIKE SOMETHING TO DRINK?

OH, THANK YOU, HONEY. I'LL HAVE A COKE WITH A LITTLE SCOTCH.

ACTUALLY MAKE THAT A SCOTCH WITH A LITTLE COKE.

- NOT SO MUCH! - LISTEN, THIS IS GONNA HELP HER SLEEP,

- THEN WE'RE GONNA PARTY ALL NIGHT. - I'M GONNA GO TO HELL.

YOU'RE SUCH A CHICKEN.

- HERE'S YOUR DRINK. - THANKS, SWEETIE.

- SO HOW IS IT? - IT'S GOOD, THANK YOU.

YOU MAKE A MEAN DRINK.

...BUT THEN SHE NEVER CALLED ME BACK. WHOA WHOA WHOA.

I SEE YOU. WHERE YOU GOING?

WAIT, I'M GONNA CALL YOU LATER, ALL RIGHT?

Girl: SEE YOU, WEN.

UH, WEN, WEN, IS THAT YOUR T-SHIRT?

UH, I DON'T KNOW.

OKAY, SHUT UP. UM,

NO, BUT IS IT LIKE VINTAGE?

- IS IT VINTAGE? - OR LIKE, IS IT NEW?

- I DON'T KNOW. - ARE THERE A LOT OF THEM?

DID YOU BORROW IT FROM SOMEBODY ELSE?

NO NO, IT'S NEITHER.

OH DEAR GOD. OKAY, UM...

I'M JUST-- UM, OKAY.

- I'M GONNA GO. I'LL BE-- - ARE YOU ALL RIGHT?

♪ THE BIG BIG BANG...

- OH YEAH. - ♪ THE REASON I'M ALIVE

♪ WHEN ALL THE STARS COLLIDE ♪

♪ IN THIS UNIVERSE INSIDE

♪ THE BIG BIG BANG...

[ laughs ]

I REALLY WANT TO KISS YOU.

HUH, ME TOO.

LET'S PARTY! YEAH!

♪ TAKE IT FROM ME, I DON'T WANT TO BE MUMMIFIED ♪

♪ SOMETIMES I FEEL SO ISOLATED ♪

♪ I WANNA DIE

♪ AND NOW TAKE IT FROM ME, IF YOU'VE GOT IT ♪

♪ EVERY TIME, SO, BABY, BRING YOUR BODY HERE ♪

♪ NEXT TO MINE, NEXT TO MINE! ♪

♪ THE BIG BIG BANG...

♪ THE REASON I'M ALIVE

♪ WHEN ALL THE STARS COLLIDE ♪

♪ IN THIS UNIVERSE INSIDE

♪ THE BIG BIG BANG

♪ THE BIG BIG BANG, THE BIG BIG BANG ♪

♪ BIG BANG BANG BANG

♪ WHOA, BABE

♪ WHOA, BABE

♪ WHOA, BABE

♪ WHOA, BABE.

Lola's voice: FRIENDSHIP IS NOT THAT EASY TO TURN INTO LOVE.

THE GOOD NEWS: WE LAUGHED A LOT

AND I JUST THINK WE BOTH WEREN'T READY.

BUT STILL IT WAS A PERFECT NIGHT.

THE BAD NEWS?

MOM LEFT DAD AGAIN

AND SHE CAME HOME A LITTLE BIT EARLIER

THAN I EXPECTED.

♪ WHOA, BABE

♪ WHOA, BABE.

LOLA!

HONEY, I'LL HELP YOU WITH THE GARBAGE.

THANKS, MOM. YOU'VE DONE ENOUGH.

HEY, MOM.

WHAT FIRST, JOINTS OR CONDOMS?

- Grandma: IT WASN'T ME. - THAT'S NOT FUNNY, MOM!

- I CAN EXPLAIN. - I WOULD SO LOVE FOR YOU TO EXPLAIN.

- I KNOW THAT THIS LOOKS BAD-- - IT LOOKS REALLYBAD!

MOM, I HAD NO IDEA THAT THESE PEOPLE WERE COMING. I JUST HAD MY FRIENDS.

PEOPLE FROM SCHOOL SHOWED UP. I DON'T KNOW HOW THIS HAPPENED.

- MOM, HOW COULD YOU LET THIS HAPPEN? - HONEY, I JUST DON'T KNOW.

I CAN'T SEEM TO HOLD MY DRINKS LIKE I USED TO.

[ groans ] AND WHAT ABOUT THIS?

I-- I WASN'T SMOKING. I DON'T SMOKE-- MOM!

IF I EVER CATCH YOU WITH THIS AGAIN, I AM SHIPPING YOU OFF TO YOUR DAD'S.

- GOT IT? - THAT WOULD BE A DREAM, HUH, MOM?

AND DON'T WORRY. I'LL SEE YOU THERE IN THE MORNING.

YOUR PARIS TRIP IS OFF AND YOU'RE GONNA COME BACK AND CLEAN THIS MESS!

"I CAN'T BELIEVE I SCREWED THINGS UP THIS BAD.

WHY CAN'T I REWIND IN REAL LIFE? WHAT A MESS."

LLOYD, GET YOUR LAZY ASS OVER HERE SO WE CAN REHEARSE, MAN.

CALL ME BACK.

HE'S NOT EVEN PICKING UP.

SO HOW WAS THE PARTY?

YEAH, IT WAS...

OKAY.

DO ANYTHING FUN?

WELL, YOU KNOW, THE GRANDMA WAS THERE AND--

OKAY.

WHY IS LOLA VACUUMING, MOM?

ASK HER.

♪ SLOW DOWN, YOU'RE OUT OF CONTROL ♪

♪ ONE OF US IS RIGHT, ONE OF US IS WRONG ♪

♪ AND I KNOW THAT YOU'RE NOT COMING HOME ♪

♪ THERE'S NOWHERE TO PARK AFTER IT GETS DARK ♪

♪ YEAH, CAN'T TELL WHAT I WANT WHEN YOU SING ♪

♪ SO KEEP IT TO YOURSELF

♪ I HAVEN'T MISSED ANYTHING

♪ YOU ARE MY VOICE, MY MICROPHONE ♪

♪ YOU ARE MY VOICE, SO TAKE ME ON ♪

♪ YOU ARE MY VOICE...

ANNE.

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I WOULD LOVE FOR US TO STOP FIGHTING OVER NOTHING.

NOTHING?!

YOU CALL SLEEPING WITH RANDOM SLUTS NOTHING?

- ANNE-- - You know what? I-I-- I can't do this.

YOU KNOW WHAT? YOU ARE THE BEST THING IN MY LIFE AND YOU ARE ALSO THE WORST.

ANNE, I SWEAR I NEVER SLEPT WITH ANY--

STOP SWEARING. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WILL YOU STOP LYING TO ME?

ALL OF YOU.

I think we just need to stick to being

what we were meant to be.

- WHICH IS? - PARENTS TO OUR KIDS.

- I gotta go. - ANNE,

- please don't-- - [ beeps ]

♪ YOU ARE MY VOICE, SO TAKE ME ON ♪

♪ YOU ARE MY VOICE, MY MICROPHONE ♪

♪ YOU ARE MY VOICE, SO TAKE ME ON... ♪

THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD.

WOW, YOUR SISTER'S HOT. HI, I'M CHAD.

SHE'S NOT MY SISTER.

ACTUALLY I'M HER STEPMOTHER.

AND SHE'S MY WIFE, PAL.

[ snickering ]

SETTLE DOWN, PLEASE. QUIET, PLEASE!

QUIET! WELCOME, PARENTS AND STUDENTS.

- OH. - OH, HELLO.

- OH MY GOD, HE'S SO CUTE. - CHECK HIM OUT.

Principal: ...A DETECTIVE FROM THE NARCOTICS DIVISION

OF THE CHICAGO POLICE DEPARTMENT.

- Girl: HEY, HOTTIE! - Principal: HE'S HERE TO TALK TO YOU TODAY,

SO PLEASE GIVE HIM YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION.

- HE'S GOT MY ATTENTION. - OH, SHHH.

WHAT?

SETTLE-- PLEASE PLEASE BE QUIET.

UH, I'M SURE YOU ALL HAVE SOMETHING BETTER TO DO

THAN SIT HERE AND LISTEN TO SOME GUY WHO THINKS HE'S COOL AND EDUCATIONAL.

All: YEAH! [ laughter ]

I HEAR YOU, I HEAR YOU, BUT THERE ARE SOME FACTS I NEED TO ARM YOU WITH.

I HAVE A PICTURE THAT SHOWS THE DETRIMENTAL EFFECTS

OF LONG-TERM DRUG ABUSE. TAKE A LOOK.

[ laughter, cheering ]

NOW THAT I HAVE YOUR ATTENTION, I WANT TO SHOW YOU

THE REAL EFFECTS OF T.H.C. ON THE BRAIN.

T.H.C. IS THE AGENT IN POT THAT CAUSES THE HIGH

IN SO-CALLED SOFT DRUGS.

YOU LOOK AT THIS IMAGE, IT'S PRETTY CLEAR

IT'S NOT SO SOFT ANYMORE, IS IT?

THE SYMPTOMS OF CANNABIS CAN RANGE FROM PARANOIA

TO PANIC ATTACKS TO SYMPTOMS OF SCHIZOPHRENIA.

- THAT WAS A VERY GOOD TALK. - I KNOW.

LET'S HOPE SOME OF THAT STICKS INTO YOUR HEAD.

- WHY ARE YOU RUNNING? - BECAUSE THERE'S SOMEONE THAT I'D LIKE TO AVOID.

- OOOH, THERE'S JANICE. I'VE GOT TO GO. - NO NO.

- WE NEED TO GET GOING. - OH HEY.

- OH HEY! - HOW ARE YOU DOING?

- HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD. HOW IS THE HEEL?

UH, THE HEEL IS FINE.

ONCE IS COINCIDENCE. TWICE-- I'M GONNA HAVE TO CALL THAT FATE.

- IS THAT WHAT YOU CALL IT? - DOES SHE KNOW HIM?

- OH GOD, I HOPE NOT. - I THINK HE'S GONNA HANDCUFF YOUR MOM TO HER BED.

SHUT UP, SHUT UP! DON'T SAY THAT.

- ARE YOU COMING TONIGHT? - I'LL TRY, BUT I'M GROUNDED.

HEY, LOOK LOOK LOOK! SHE'S UP TO NO GOOD. I TOLD YOU.

SHE'S DISGUSTING. I DON'T GET IT.

YOU KNOW, THAT WAS SO GREAT. THE, UH--

THE TALK IN THERE.

I'M GONNA BUY YOU A DRINK.

UM, I--

IT WASN'T A QUESTION. I'M TELLING YOU I'M GONNA BUY YOU A DRINK.

- I, UM-- - MOM?

CAN I GO TO JANICE'S HOUSE JUST TO DO HOMEWORK?

- LOLA, THIS IS-- - JAMES.

- HEY. - UM, MY DAUGHTER LOLA.

- MOM, CAN I GO? - NO.

- YOU HAVE TO DO YOUR HOMEWORK AT HOME. - Lola: THIS IS UNFAIR.

- WHAT IS THAT? - NOTHING. LOVE YOU, MOM.

I'LL SEE YOU AT HOME.

CHARMING.

ARE YOU READY FOR A DRINK?

I THOUGHT IT WASN'T A QUESTION.

IT'S NOT.

- OKAY. THIS-- ALL RIGHT. - YEAH.

- HAVE YOU SEEN KYLE? - Girl: YEAH, HE'S IN THE BATHROOM.

[ girl moaning ]

HEY--

[ couple laughs ]

- SO HOW WAS IT? - IT WAS AWESOME.

YOU'RE DISGUSTING.

- WAS IT GOOD? - WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

COME ON, DON'T LIE TO ME. JUST OWN UP TO IT.

HEY, LOLA! WHAT'S GOING ON? WHAT DID YOU TELL HER?

NOTHING. IT'S NOT MY FAULT

YOUR LITTLE GROUPIE CAN'T TAKE A JOKE.

HEY, LOLA, WAIT UP!

HEY, LOLA, STOP PLEASE.

Wen: SHH, COME ON.

I NEED TO GO.

I KNEW THAT. COME HERE.

- OKAY, WEN, STOP IT, OKAY? - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT JUST HAPPENED NEVER HAPPENED.

- [ laughing ] - GOT IT?

- YOU'RE FUNNY. - NO, I'M SERIOUS, OKAY?

TAKE THESE. WAIT FIVE MINUTES. I'M NOT KIDDING.

- I'M NOT KIDDING. WAIT. - WHAT HAPPENED?

WHAT DID I DO?

[ laughs ]

GET IT IN!

HEY, LOLA, WAIT UP.

- LEAVE ME ALONE. - WHAT DID ASHLEY SAY TO YOU?

- WHAT DID SHE SAY TO YOU? - KYLE, DON'T PLAY DUMB.

NO, SERIOUSLY, WHAT'S WRONG?

- COME ON. - DON'T ACT LIKE YOU DON'T KNOW.

- COME ON, WHAT'S YOUR DEAL? - MY DEAL IS THAT EVERYBODY KNOWS

SHE DOES GUYS IN THE BATHROOM, KYLE.

WAIT, WHAT? YOU THINK ASHLEY AND I--

- IN THE BATHROOM? - AT LEAST YOU CAN GET IT ON WITH SOMEONE.

CONGRATULATIONS.

WOW.

I GUESS WE'RE DONE.

[ bangs ]

Grandmother: LOLA?

[ sobbing ]

LOLA SWEETIE, WHAT IS IT? WHAT'S WRONG?

NOTHING.

COME ON, HAVE SOMETHING TO EAT.

IT'S GOOD TO EAT WHEN YOU'RE SAD.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE? WHAT WOULD TASTE GOOD?

- NOTHING RIGHT NOW. - OHHH.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA TURN ANOREXIC NOW, ARE YOU?

NOT FROM SKIPPING ONE MEAL.

OH NO, I SAW SOMETHING ON TV.

IT GOES PRETTY FAST.

THAT'S NOT WHAT IT IS.

OH, I KNOW.

NOBODY'S WORTH YOUR TEARS, BABY.

I'M GONNA GET YOU SOME SOUP.

OKAY, I LOVE YOU.

Kyle: ♪ WE WERE BROTHER AND SISTER ♪

♪ WE USED TO THINK

♪ NOTHING

♪ WAS EVER BITTER

♪ TODAY I BREAK

♪ MY PROMISES

♪ TO STAY OUT OF

♪ THE EMPTINESS

♪ TODAY LET'S MAKE

♪ OUR PROMISES

♪ FOR TOMORROW

♪ We used to play

♪ All the games

♪ Where no one's a winner ♪

♪ We used to laugh.

NO, I SAW HIM. HE WAS IN THERE WITH THE POST-IT.

- WHEN? - AFTER THAT DRUG ASSEMBLY THING.

OKAY, ARE YOU ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE THAT IT WAS THEM?

YES YES! I SAW THAT STUPID BAG-- NO OFFENSE.

OH NO, IT'S FINE.

HEY GIRL! HIGH-FIVE IT, HOTTIE.

- UH... - HERE THEY ARE.

SHH.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME?

DO I HAVE A SIGN ON MY HEAD THAT SAYS 'CHEAT ON ME'?

I MEAN, NO SURPRISE FROM ASHLEY,

BUT KYLE?

AND SINCE BAD THINGS COME IN THREES..."

YOU KNOW WHAT THIS REPORT SMELLS LIKE?

- WHAT? - HUH.

NO MORE MUSIC. MERRY CHRISTMAS.

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO YOU TOO.

♪ I AM STARTING TO SENSE YOUR LOCATION ♪

♪ YOU ARE SOMEWHERE IN THE ATTIC ♪

♪ LOOKING SOMETHING CLOSE TO TRAGIC ♪

♪ KNITTING T-SHIRTS AND YOUR MATTRESS ♪

♪ I'M FLOATING ON THE STAIRWELL WITH MY TOES GRAZING... ♪

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IS THAT YOU'RE PRETTY.

YOU'LL GET A RICH HUSBAND.

GREAT.

LAST YEAR YOU WERE ON THE HONOR ROLL.

MOM, IT'S ONLY ONE "B."

THAT'S EXACTLY MY POINT.

Anne: A "B" IN MATH, A "C" IN HISTORY?

A "D" IN BIOLOGY? LOLA, WHAT ARE YOU THINKING?

Lola's voice: I'M NOT THINKING ANYTHING, MOM.

BECAUSE I DON'T CARE ABOUT THE POPULATION OF CHINA

OR THE DIVISION OF CELLS.

THE ONLY THING I CARE ABOUT, THE ONLY THING THAT HURTS

IS KYLE AND THE POST-IT

AND HOW I WANT TO HURT THEM AS MUCH AS THEY HURT ME.

WHO'S THE GUY WE'RE SUPPOSED TO MAKE JEALOUS?

THE EMO ONE NEXT TO THE SLUT.

OH, NICE HAIR. WHAT A DORK.

COME ON, HE'S NOT THAT BAD!

- NOW SHUT UP AND MAKE IT LOOK SEXY. - OKAY.

YEAH, IT'S TRUE.

- Guy: MAYBE IT'S A GIRL. - HEY, WHO IS THAT GUY?

- HUH? - Kyle: WHO IS THAT GUY?

JEREMY. HE'S COOL. WHY?

NOTHING.

WHO DRIVES A STUPID RED VESPA IN THE MIDDLE OF WINTER?

- WHY DO YOU CARE? - YEAH, WHY DOYOU CARE?

I DON'T CARE. COME ON, LET'S GO.

♪ TO LET YOU KNOW HOW I'M FEELING... ♪

SHE DEFRIENDED ME?

♪ I'M HIGH ON HOPE

♪ I'M REELING

♪ And I won't let you go

♪ Now you know

♪ I've been crazy for you all this time ♪

♪ I've kept it close

♪ Always hoping

♪ With a heart on fire...

Kyle: THANK YOU.

SO HOW'S JEREMY?

- HOW'S ASHLEY? - YOU KNOW I'M NOT SEEING ASHLEY.

- CAN WE TALK? - OKAY.

NO, IN PRIVATE.

- AT YOUR HOUSE AT 7:00? - OKAY.

OKAY.

I CALLED YOU BUT YOU DIDN'T ANSWER.

- COME ON, COME HERE. - WHO IS IT?

- IT'S ASHLEY. - WHY'D YOU CALL HER OVER, MAN?

- Ashley: HEY, BOYS. - Kyle: SERIOUSLY.

Chad: I JUST FELT LIKE CALLING HER. HEY.

- SERIOUSLY. - OH GOD.

Emily: SHE JUST ALWAYS SHOWS UP EVERYWHERE.

SHE'S LIKE A BAD DREAM-- YOU JUST CAN'T WAKE UP FROM IT.

JESUS.

I DEAL WITH KIDS EVERY DAY. I KNOW THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN A KID IN TROUBLE

AND A KID TESTING THE LIMITS AND SHE SOUNDS...

REALLY NORMAL. DON'T FEEL GUILTY.

WITH KIDS IT'S ALWAYS GUILT.

IF I'M TOO LENIENT, I'M GUILTY.

IF I YELL, IT'S EVEN WORSE.

AND THEN IT'S LIKE I'M A COP IN MY OWN HOME.

MMM, THAT MUST BE AWFUL.

[ groans ]

I KEEP INSULTING YOUR PROFESSION.

THE THING IS IS I'M THE ONE WHO'S ALWAYS SAYING

THAT A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE THE SAME RIGHTS

AND SHOULD BE ABLE TO ENJOY SEX THE SAME WAY A MAN DOES.

- I COULDN'T AGREE MORE. - YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

- I KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN. - BUT IT'S MY LITTLE GIRL

AND NOW THAT SHE'S STARTING TO LIVE LIFE AS A LIBERATED WOMAN,

I JUST DON'T KNOW IF I FEEL THE SAME.

AND I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO DO ABOUT PARIS.

I AM SO CONFUSED. I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT TO BELIEVE.

IT'S A SCHOOL TRIP.

YOU SHOULD LET HER GO TO PARIS.

ARE YOU SAYING THIS TO REASSURE ME OR IS THAT WHAT YOU REALLY THINK?

I THINK YOU THINK TOO MUCH.

HEY, LOL, IT'S ME. I'LL BE THERE IN 10 MINUTES.

OKAY.

[ cell phone beeps ]

- [ door closes ] - WHERE DO YOU THINK YOU'RE GOING?

- TO CHAD'S. EXCUSE ME. - ARE YOU THAT STUPID

- THAT YOU BRING POT INTO MY HOUSE? - OH PLEASE.

OH PLEASE? DID YOU SAY "OH PLEASE"? HOW ABOUT

"OH PLEASE WAVE GOODBYE TO ALL THIS 'CAUSE NEXT YEAR IT'S MILITARY SCHOOL"?

- [ scoffs ] - OH, YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY?

- GET YOUR HANDS OFF MY GUITAR. - NO, MYGUITAR.

DAD, NO! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

- ARE YOU CRAZY? - NO MORE PHONE, NO MORE COMPUTER.

HEY, KYLE, IT'S LOLA. REMEMBER ME?

WHATEVER. I'VE BEEN WAITING HERE FOR AN HOUR.

I'M NOT AN IDIOT. DON'T EVER TALK TO ME AGAIN, OKAY?

OH, THANK YOU FOR LISTENING TO MY MELTDOWN.

- IT REALLY HELPED. - IT'S ALL PART OF THE JOB, MA'AM.

- IT WAS REALLY NICE. - IT WAS NICE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

UM, ALLEN, JAMES.

ALLEN'S THE FATHER OF MY CHILDREN.

I, WELL, UH, LOLA,

UH, SHE FORGOT HER BOOKS AND I SIGNED

THE LITTLE PERMISSION SLIP FOR PARIS.

NO, WE-- WE NEEDED TO TALK ABOUT THAT.

- Allen: SHOULD WE TALK ABOUT THIS NOW? - ALLEN.

THAT'S A NICE DRESS.

HEY.

- [ James sighs ] - [ door closes ]

ARE YOU OKAY?

YEAH.

I GUESS I SHOULD LET YOU FEEL GUILTY IN PEACE.

- SORRY. - IT'S OKAY.

GOOD NIGHT.

GOOD NIGHT.

[ groans ]

[ whistling ]

OOOH, YUMMY.

- OH MY GOD. - OH GOD, ARE YOU OKAY?

- OH HEY. - OH, MR. ROSS.

UH, I DIDN'T SEE YOU THERE. I'M SORRY.

- HOW ARE YOU? - GOOD GOOD.

JUST GROCERY SHOPPING.

YEAH YEAH, ME TOO.

WOW, HEALTHY. DO YOU COOK A LOT?

YEAH YEAH, I LOVE TO COOK.

I LOVE TO COOK. I COOK ALL THE TIME.

- WHOA! - EMILY,

DID YOU FIND THE MILK?

NO, I, UH, I-- IT'S NOT THAT WAY.

- BUT THIS IS MY TRIG TEACHER, MR. ROSS. - HOW ARE YOU DOING?

- THAT'S MY MOM AND MY BROTHER. - HELLO.

HEY. OH, I'M SORRY ABOUT THE HOME TUTORING THING.

JUST I WAS ALREADY ALL BOOKED UP THIS SEMESTER.

HOME TUTORING FOR EMILY?

YEAH.

NO. NO NO NO NO.

SORRY, UM...

MY FAULT. I MUST HAVE GOTTEN HER MIXED UP WITH SOME OTHER STUDENT.

WELL, TEACHERS SHOULD KEEP THEIR MINDS SHARPENED, SHOULDN'T THEY?

- COME ON. EMILY. - YEAH NO, OKAY.

- Mother: NICE MEETING YOU. - UH-HUH.

- SINCE WHEN DO TEACHERS LOOK LIKE THAT? - YEAH, RIGHT?

SO HE DOES HIS OWN GROCERY SHOPPING WHICH MEANS HE TOTALLY SINGLE.

Lola: So? You're not going to be sleeping with your teacher, Em.

- YEAH? SAYS WHO? - [ groans ]

IS SOMETHING WRONG WITH YOU? YOU SEEM KINDA--

JUST I CAN'T QUIT THINKING ABOUT KYLE AND ASHLEY.

[ laughs ]

[ sighs ]

LOLA, IT WAS ME, OKAY?

- IT WAS YOU WHAT? - It wasn't the Post-it.

And it wasn't Kyle. It was me.

IN THE BOYS' BATHROOM? YOU DIDN'T SEE HERPURSE, YOU SAW MINE.

WAIT, YOU-- YOU AND KYLE?

No! I want to tell you who, but I can't.

BELIEVE ME. OKAY WELL, IT WAS JUST A ONE-TIME THING.

YOU KNOW, I WANTED TO JUST GET IT OVER WITH

SO I WOULD BE READY FOR MR. ROSS WHEN HE WAS READY.

- You know? - OH MY GOD, ARE YOU SERIOUS?

I WANTED TO TELL YOU, BUT THEN YOU DID THE WHOLE, LIKE,

"WHO DOES IT IN THE BOYS' BATHROOM? SHE'S A HO."

- ME AND KYLE BROKE UP BECAUSE OF THIS. - LOOK, I'M REALLY SORRY.

I CANNOT BELIEVE YOU DID THAT. I CAN'T TALK TO YOU RIGHT NOW, I'M SORRY.

[ beeps ]

OKAY.

[ door opens ]

WOW, YOU'RE BACK EARLY FOR A CHANGE.

WOW, LOOK AT YOU DOING HOMEWORK FOR A CHANGE.

ANSWER ME.

[ knocks ]

SO, UM, ABOUT THIS TRIP TO PARIS.

YES?

ARE ALL YOUR FRIENDS GOING?

YES.

AND IF I WERE TO LET YOU GO,

- WOULD YOU PROMISE-- - OH MY GOSH, I PROMISE. I WILL BE SO GOOD, MOM.

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE, MOM, PLEASE.

PLEASE? IS THAT A YES?

- MM-HMM. - YES YES!

- THANK YOU SO MUCH! - [ squeals ]

MOM, IT'S NOT THE JUNGLE. IT'S PARIS.

THIS IS WHAT I GAVE YOU LAST TIME FOR CRAMPS. SHOULD I WRITE "CRAMPS" ON IT?

- THINK YOU'LL REMEMBER? - I HAVE A BRAIN.

- OOH, GOOD FOR YOU, ANGEL. - I'M GONNA GO PACK.

GOOD FOR YOU.

- I FOUND IT, SWEETIE. - OH, NICE.

ALL RIGHT, CONSERVATIVE.

WHAT IS THIS? AN EYEPATCH?

NO, IT'S LOLA'S. SHE LEFT IT HERE WHEN SHE SPENT THE NIGHT.

- I JUST HAVE TO GIVE IT BACK TO HER. - OH REALLY?

HOW MANY NIGHTS DID SHE SPEND HERE-- 80?

- DO YOU THINK I'M STUPID? - NO, I DON'T THINK YOU'RE STUPID.

YOU HAVEN'T EVEN LEFT YET AND IF I FIND ANY MORE OF THESE, YOU'RE NOT GOING ANYWHERE!

THESE ARE FOR BAD GIRLS WITH BAD GRADES AND NO FUTURES!

THIS IS GARBAGE! GARBAGE!

YOU PROMISE YOU'RE GOING TO BE CAREFUL, RIGHT?

WHY DO YOU KEEP ASKING ME THAT?

I REALLY DON'T FEEL COMFORTABLE

WITH YOU STAYING WITH A FAMILY THAT I DON'T KNOW.

MOM, THEY'RE FRENCH. THEY'RE PROBABLY STRICTER THAN YOU.

OKAY, SO I HAVE A LITTLE SOMETHING FOR YOU--

JUST TO ADD TO YOUR COLLECTION.

I LOVE IT. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- IT'S SO CUTE. THANK YOU, MOM. - YOU'RE WELCOME.

- I LOVE YOU. - LET ME PUT IT ON.

- THAT'S SO CUTE. - YOU PROMISE, RIGHT, TO BE CAREFUL?

I PROMISE. STOP ASKING.

OKAY. NO NO, HUH-UH!

- WHAT? MOM. - NO. NO.

- MOM, I DON'T HAVE ANY WARM SWEATERS. - YOU HAVE A TON.

THEY'RE ALL SCRATCHY. THIS ONE'S SOFT.

YEAH WELL, SIX-PLY CASHMERE, IT BETTER BE.

- NO NO. - MOM, PLEASE.

- NO. - PLEASE, MOMMY, MOMMY.

I'M GONNA BE COLD AND WHEN I WEAR IT, I'LL THINK OF YOU AND HOW MUCH YOU LOVE ME

AND HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU AND HOW MUCH I MISS YOU. MOM, PLEASE PLEASE.

- IT'S MY FAVORITE. - YOU-- YOU ARE SUCH A PAIN IN THE ASS.

- UNBELIEVABLE. DO NOT STRETCH THIS OUT. - I WON'T.

♪ I walked across

♪ An empty land

♪ I knew the pathway...

I'M GONNA GET SOME WATER. DO YOU WANT SOME?

I'M GOOD. THANK YOU.

- ARE WE COOL, LOLA? - YEAH, WE'RE COOL.

- I CAN JUST GO TALK TO HIM RIGHT NOW, OKAY? - IT'S FINE.

ALL RIGHT. I'M GOING TO GET SOME WATER.

- HEY, WHAT'S THE MATTER? - SHE'S STILL MAD AT ME. I'M GETTING WATER.

♪ Gonna let me in

♪ I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin ♪

♪ I came across

♪ A fallen tree

- ♪ I felt the branches of it looking at me... ♪ - HEY.

♪ Is this the place

♪ We used to love?

♪ Is this the place that I've been dreaming of? ♪

♪ Oh, tell me when

♪ You're gonna let me in ♪

♪ I'm getting tired and I need somewhere to begin ♪

♪ AND IF YOU HAVE A MINUTE ♪

♪ WHY DON'T WE GO

♪ TALK ABOUT IT SOMEWHERE ONLY WE KNOW? ♪

♪ THIS COULD BE THE END...

Lloyd: MRS. CHANDLER, WHERE ARE WE? THIS IS TERRIBLE.

[ speaks French ]

COME ON, WE'RE HERE.

- THERE ARE YOUR FAMILIES. - [ speaking French ]

OKAY, WHERE IS THE EIFFEL TOWER?

[ bleating ]

- OH MY GOD. - IS THAT SHEEP?

Lloyd: MRS. CHANDLER, CAN I GO HOME?

WHEN YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO PARIS,

- WHAT DID YOU MEAN? - WE'RE ONLY 20 MINUTES AWAY.

OKAY?

CUCKOO.

THIS IS HER WAY TO SAY HELLO. IT'S A FRENCH HELLO.

[ bubble pops ]

WHAT'S UP?

[ whispering ] DUDE, I'VE SEEN THIS HORROR FILM.

IT DOES NOT END WELL. WE'VE GOT TO GET OUT OF HERE.

- [ whispers ] DON'T DISCRIMINATE, BRO. - DISCRIMINATE?

ARE YOU KIDDING ME? YOU DON'T SAY THAT TO ME.

- CUCKOO. - Lloyd: OH MY GOD, I NEED A HOTEL NOW.

[ woman speaks ]

- UH, THE ROUGE. - THE BLANC.

THE BLA-- THE BLANC.

- THANKS. - UH, YEAH.

CHEERS.

♪ Ave Maria

♪ Ave Maria...

UH, EXCUSEZ-MOI. MADAME?

- HELLO? - [ speaks French ]

OH GREAT.

BONJOUR.

[ speaks French ]

[ groans ] I MISS YOU TOO.

IT'S, UH, NICE HERE.

WELCOME TO THE PSYCH WARD.

UM, OKAY, MOM, I GOTTA GO.

MY BATTERY'S ABOUT TO DIE AND I'VE GOT TO FIND AN ADAPTER, OKAY?

THEY DON'T HAVE ONE.

THIS FAMILY IS SO WEIRD.

- Love you. - OKAY, BYE.

SHE SAID HER FAMILY IS WEIRD.

I KNEW THAT I SHOULDN'T LET HER GO.

- WHY ARE THEY WEIRD? - THEY'RE NOT WEIRD.

- THEY'RE FRENCH. - AND HOW COULD I FORGET TO SEND HER WITH AN ADAPTER?

WELL, YOU'VE GIVEN HER LIFE. THAT'S ENOUGH.

- YOU KNOW WHAT? I HAVE TO GO. - WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

YOU KNOW WHAT? DO YOU GUYS HAVE HOMEWORK?

- YEAH. - YEAH, I THOUGHT SO. LET'S GET ON IT.

SO DO YOU LIKE HIM?

- WHO? - WHO? STARSKY.

MOM, WOULD YOU NOT CALL HIM THAT?

- AND I HAVEN'T EVEN THOUGHT ABOUT IT. - OH, DON'T BULLSHIT ME, DEAR.

I HAVEN'T, REALLY. I JUST HATE IT

WHEN EVERYONE, LIKE, ACTS LIKE YOUR LIFE IS OVER IF YOU DON'T HAVE A MAN.

THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH GETTING BACK ON THE HORSE, YOU KNOW?

- SO WHERE IS HE TAKING YOU? - MOM, WOULD YOU QUIT ASKING ME QUESTIONS?

YOU DON'T HAVE TO KNOW EVERYTHING.

HOW DO I LOOK?

YOU LOOK ADORABLE.

NOW DON'T FORGET TO TAKE A SWEATER

AND OTHER THINGS TO PROTECT YOURSELF.

- OH, MOM! - I MEAN IT.

- SHE'S LIKE MOM WITH LOLA. - YEAH.

HEY! COME ON, WHAT ABOUT THAT HOMEWORK?

LET'S GET ON IT. CHOP CHOP CHOP.

HAVE FUN!

[ sighs ]

THAT THING IS SO CREEPY.

OH MY GOD, IT IS SO COLD IN HERE.

I KNOW. WHAT, FRENCH PEOPLE DON'T HAVE HEAT?

NO, IT'S JUST THESE CREEPY JOAN OF ARC FANS.

- WHY? - BECAUSE SHE WAS BURNED AT THE STAKE.

DUH.

LOLA, WHY ARE YOU STILL MAD AT ME?

BECAUSE I WOULD NEVER DO TO YOU WHAT YOU DID TO ME.

BUT YOU DON'T REALLY EVEN KNOW WHAT HAPPENED

AND IF YOU KNEW, YOU WOULD NOT BE UPSET.

'CAUSE YOU WON'T TELL ME!

[ sighs ]

OKAY, BUT IF I TELL YOU, DO YOU PROMISE

THAT YOU WON'T TELL ANYBODY AND YOU WON'T LAUGH AT ME?

PROMISE.

- YOU SWEAR? - SWEAR. COME ON.

OKAY.

- WHAT? - OH GOD, OH MY GOD.

- COME ON, TELL ME. - I CAN'T.

- IT WAS WEN. - SHUT-- OH MY--

YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T LAUGH. YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T LAUGH.

- OKAY, I GET WHY YOU LIED. - I HAD TO DO IT.

- [ hostess speaks ] - SHH SHH.

[ thumps ] OW OWW.

[ pop music playing ]

[ singing in French ]

♪ YOU'RE ALL RIGHT...

[ laughing ]

SO, JAMES, WHAT DO YOU DO FOR A LIVING?

- I'M A COP. - [ coughs ]

- NARCOTICS. - TAKE THAT.

JUST BREATHE. JUST BREATHE, TAKE IT EASY.

I ONLY SMOKE BECAUSE OF MY SCIATICA.

- SCIATICA? - Anne: HE IS SO FULL OF IT.

- NO, I'M NOT. I'M SERIOUS. - NO, SWEETHEART, IT'S OKAY.

HE'S A COP!

[ woman speaking French ]

MMM.

OUI!

[ woman speaking ]

Lola: SHH SHH, STOP.

[ clatters ]

- [ man speaks ] - Kyle: SHH SHH.

NO! NO NO NO NO.

[ knocks ]

[ falsetto ] YES YES.

OUI OUI.

OKAY.

LOLA?

LOLA?

OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD.

- Wen: MY CHERIE. - YOU'RE A GENIUS.

NICE MUSCLES.

[ speaks French ]

YEAH YEAH, OUI OUI.

[ Kyle stammers ]

- OUI OUI. - MERCI, LILY.

WE'RE TRES FATIGUEZ.

- WE'RE GOING TO GO TO BED. - WHO?

- THANKS, MAN, YOU'RE GREAT. - SCREW YOU. THIS IS THE SECOND TIME--

I'M PLANNING ON IT. BON SOIR.

[ laughing ]

Lola: DEAF-MUTE.

WHY IS IT SO COMPLICATED IN CHICAGO?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S NOT COMPLICATED HERE.

♪ CHANGE YOUR HEART...

HEY, LOLA?

- YEAH? - CAN YOU DO ME A FAVOR?

CAN YOU KEEP MY GUITAR BACK IN CHICAGO?

YOU'RE THE ONLY PERSON I CAN TRUST.

SURE.

♪ IT WILL ASTOUND YOU...

CAN I TELL YOU SOMETHING?

WHAT?

IT'S ACTUALLY MY FIRST TIME.

♪ LIKE THE SUNSHINE

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT TO LEARN SOMETIME ♪

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT TO LEARN SOMETIME... ♪

IT'S MY FIRST TIME SINCE MY DIVORCE.

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT TO LEARN SOMETIME ♪

♪ MMM

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT TO LEARN SOMETIME ♪

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT TO LEARN SOMETIME ♪

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT TO LEARN SOMETIME ♪

♪ MMMM

♪ MMMM...

OUI.

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT TO LEARN SOMETIME ♪

♪ EVERYBODY'S GOT TO LEARN SOMETIME... ♪

Lola's voice: IT'S SO GOOD TO LOVE SOMEONE SO MUCH IT HURTS.

I DON'T KNOW HOW PEOPLE SURVIVE THIS.

HONESTLY, I DON'T.

♪ MMMM

♪ MMM.

- HMMM. - [ knocks ]

- HEY. - HEY, WHAT'S UP?

HOW'D IT GO? I WANT THE SCOOP.

- WHAT SCOOP? - ON PARIS.

OH, IT WAS-- IT WAS COOL.

OKAY, WELL, WHAT DID YOU DO?

SCHOOL STUFF. IT WAS LIKE THE EIFFEL TOWER,

WHICH WAS BEAUTIFUL, AND LEARNED SOME FRENCH.

IT WAS NOTHING SPECIAL. WHAT ABOUT YOU?

- ME? - YEAH, WHAT'D YOU DO?

REALLY, NOTHING, UM--

NOTHING SPECIAL.

HMM.

OKAY, ARE WE SCARED?

IF HE KISSES YOU ON THE LIPS, IT MEANS HE'S COOL BEING YOUR BOYFRIEND.

IF NOT, FORGET IT.

- Emily: HEY. - Wen: WHOA, WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

NO, LET'S GO.

OKAY YEAH. OKAY, ALL RIGHT, ALL RIGHT.

- NO. COME ON! - OW.

Chad: SO IS YOUR OLD MAN GONNA LET YOU PLAY THE GIG

OR ARE WE GONNA HAVE TO, LIKE, TUNNEL YOU OUT?

ARE YOU KIDDING? THERE'S NO WAY I'M GONNA

LET MY DAD RUIN OUR CHANCE OF GETTING SIGNED.

- I MEAN, THIS IS HUGE, RIGHT? - IT'S LIKE THE BIGGEST CHANCE WE HAVE, DUDE.

MAYBE YOUR PARENTS COULD ADOPT ME.

YEAH, THEN MY BROTHER COULD BE

HOOKING UP WITH MY EX-GIRLFRIEND IN MY OWN HOUSE.

LOOK, MAN, ABOUT THAT-- YOU JUST GOTTA GET OVER IT.

IT'S COOL.

LOOK, JUST KEEP IT REAL WITH ME AND WE'LL BE COOL.

I MEAN, WE'RE LIKE BROTHERS, RIGHT?

Man: THE SIMILARITIES BETWEEN MAN AND PIG--

- UGH. [ mock retches ] - THIS IS SO AWESOME.

YOU'RE A SOCIOPATH.

OKAY, NO, I'M NOT DOING THIS.

I MEAN, HOW MANY PIGS HAD TO DIE FOR THIS CLASS?

- WHERE'S PETA? - WHAT DO YOU THINK THEY TEST ALL YOUR HO MAKEUP ON?

STOP CALLING EVERY GIRL A HO. IT'S GETTING OLD, OKAY?

YEAH, WHATEVER, HO.

- Ashley: THANK YOU. - WELCOME.

- IT COMES FROM THE HEART. - OH MY GOD!

- OH MY GOD. - THAT IS SO GROSS. [ squeals ]

NO! LLOYD, STOP HIM!

[ squeals ]

Anne: ARE YOU KIDDING ME WITH THIS ROOM RIGHT NOW, LOLA?

- IT IS A PIGSTY. - All right, will you get out of my stuff?

You're never gonna find anything in there anyway.

IF I CAN'T FIND MY SWEATER, THEN YOU'RE LOSING YOUR COMPUTER FOR A MONTH.

All right, love you, Mom. Love you, Mom!

♪ OH, BABE

♪ OH, BABE...

Lola: "EMILY'S LIE TOTALLY WORKED

AND I FINALLY GOT TO HAVE SEX WITH KYLE."

[ echoes ] SEX WITH KYLE...

♪ THE BIG BIG BANG

♪ THE REASON I'M ALIVE ♪

♪ WHEN ALL THE STARS COLLIDE ♪

♪ IN THIS UNIVERSE INSIDE

♪ THE BIG BIG BANG

♪ THE BIG BIG BIG BANG ♪

♪ WHOA, BABE

♪ WHOA, BABE

♪ WHOA, BABE.

THIS IS THE WORST THING THAT YOU CAN DO TO YOUR CHILD,

ISN'T IT? TO BETRAY THEIR SECRETS?

GOD, I FEEL TERRIBLE.

SO TELL HER.

- WHAT? - ALL OF IT.

THAT YOU FOUND HER DIARY. THAT YOU KNOW EVERYTHING. TELL HER.

BUT SHE WOULD NEVER FORGIVE ME.

MM-HMM.

[ gasps ]

- HELLO. - MM MM MM.

SO YOU WANTED TO TALK.

I'M LISTENING.

YES, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT LOLA.

- DID YOU ORDER? - MM-HMM.

- NO NO, DON'T YOU START. - WHAT?

I HAVE A THERAPIST WHO SAYS "MM-HMM" AND IT DRIVES ME CRAZY.

MM-HMM.

MMM, DID YOU TELL HER HOW YOU'RE DOING SOMEONE?

I AM NOT "DOING" ANYONE.

OH OH, I'M SORRY. YES, YOU'RE RIGHT.

IT'S MEN WHO "DO" SLUTS.

YOU WOMEN ARE ALWAYS MAKING LOVE TO INCREDIBLE GENTLEMEN.

JUST STOP IT. THIS IS REALLY NOT THE TIME.

WELL, THIS IS A GREAT TIME FOR ME.

BUT, OH, I FORGOT. I'M SPEAKING WITH MISS MORAL HIGH GROUND.

LOLA'S DOING DRUGS.

SMOKING POT. SHE'S A MESS RIGHT NOW.

WELL, YOU ARE HER ROLE MODEL.

YEAH.

WHEN SHE HEARS ABOUT YOUR NEW SEX LIFE-- I CAN'T WAIT FOR THAT.

- HEY. - YOU'RE AN IDIOT. AN ABSOLUTE IDIOT.

HEY HEY HEY.

I'LL SEE YOU LATER. [ kisses ]

- [ honks ] - COME ON, LET'S GO.

- I GOTTA RUN. - NOW! WE'RE GONNA BE LATE.

- Emily: ALL RIGHT. - COME ON.

- HELLO, ANNE. - HI.

- I'LL CALL YOU LATER. OKAY. - LOVE YOU!

THAT WAS COLD.

I'M NOT CRAZY ABOUT YOU HANGING OUT WITH THAT GIRL.

THAT GIRL IS MY BEST FRIEND AND I'LL HANG OUT WITH HER IF I WANT TO.

- IT'S MY LIFE. - WHAT?

- IT'S MY LIFE. - YOU'RE MY DAUGHTER, MY RESPONSIBILITY.

UNTIL YOU TURN 18 THERE'S A FEW THINGS THAT I WON'T TOLERATE.

- REALLY? LIKE WHAT? - LIKE MESSING UP YOUR LIFE.

- I'M NOT MESSING UP MY LIFE. - SMOKING POT, DRINKING ALCOHOL,

SLEEPING AROUND-- WHAT DO YOU CALL THAT?

- WHERE'D YOU GET THAT? - [ sighs ]

I READ YOUR DIARY, OKAY?

- WHAT?! WHAT?! - IT WAS AN ACCIDENT. I WAS LOOKING FOR MY SWEATER

- AND IT FELL OUT. - THAT WAS NOT AN ACCIDENT AND IT DID NOT FALL!

- IT WAS HIDDEN, MOM. - AT LEAST WE NOW KNOW WE'RE ON THE SAME PAGE.

YEAH, YOU'RE A LIAR! ARE YOU KIDDING?

YOU HAD NO RIGHT TO DO THAT! THAT IS MY PRIVATE STUFF!

GOD, YOU'RE A BITCH!

LOLA!LOLA!

LOLA!

LOLA, OPEN THIS DOOR.

- THIS HOUSE NEEDS A MAN. - WHAT ABOUT ME?

OH, SWEETIE.

WE JUST NEED TO TALK.

- WHERE ARE YOU GOING? - TO DAD'S.

DO YOU MIND?

NO, NOT AT ALL. I'LL EVEN BE HAPPY TO DRIVE YOU.

NO! I'VE GOT IT. BYE.

[ door opens, slams ]

Grandma: COME HERE.

MY BABY.

I KNOW, I KNOW, SWEETHEART.

IT'LL BE OKAY. SHE'LL COME BACK.

- I WAS NEVER THAT BAD, WAS I? - WELL, SOMETIMES YOU WERE.

ER, I'M PUTTING GARLIC IN THE SAUCE.

EW, NO.

OOOH, YES!

- Mother: EMILY, IT'S DINNER! - I'M COMING.

Mr. Ross: IS THE IMAGE OF THE J-F-K TRIANGLE

BY TRANSLATION OF VECTOR I.D.

THE E-A-F TRIANGLE OR THE E-F-J TRIANGLE?

- OKAY. - WEN?

- YES? - YOU DO KNOW WHAT A VECTOR IS, RIGHT?

YEAH YEAH, LIKE HANNIBAL VECTOR?

- CUTE. ARE YOU TEXTING? - WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

WHAT ARE YOU DOING? I WASN'T EVEN ON THAT.

- OKAY, I NEED YOU TO FOCUS ON THIS. - I'M FOC--

- I TOLD YOU WHAT A VECTOR IS. - [ phone vibrating ]

YOU ASKED WHAT A VECTOR IS, I TOLD YOU WHAT IT IS.

- [ chuckles ] - [ bell ringing ]

UM, HEY, I DIDN'T GET A CHANCE TO THANK YOU

FOR COVERING FOR ME AT THE SUPERMARKET.

EMILY, THERE'S NO NEED TO THANK ME.

BUT, EMILY, YOU ARE A BEAUTIFUL GIRL AND YOU'RE ALSO A SMART GIRL.

AND SMART GIRLS DON'T NEED LIES AND TRICKS TO GET WHAT THEY WANT OUT OF LIFE.

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYING?

UH YEAH. YEAH, TOTALLY.

- OKAY. - AND ALSO--

WEN IS VERY NICE. HE'S A GOOD KID,

BUT MAYBE YOU COULD INSPIRE HIM TO FOCUS A LITTLE BIT MORE

- ON HIS SCHOOLWORK. - OKAY?

AND ALSO THE PICTURE ON HIS CELL PHONE? GET HIM TO CHANGE IT.

YEAH OKAY.

YEAH, I'M GONNA DO-- I'LL DO THAT.

OKAY, GOODBYE.

I CAUGHT YOU. YOU JUST ATE SOME CREAM.

- I DID. - I'M GONNA EAT SOME CHOCOLATE.

THIS DOESN'T MAKE IT MY FAVORITE.

UH-HUH.

SEE, I LIKE THE CREAM THE BEST.

- I LIKE THE CHOCOLATE. - YEAH.

JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER.

COMPLICATED, HUH?

VERY.

"DEAR MOM, I'M SORRY IF WHAT YOU READ IN MY JOURNAL

MADE YOU FEEL DIFFERENTLY ABOUT ME.

BUT THE TRUTH IS I WANTED TO TELL YOU EVERYTHING IN THERE,

BUT I WAS SCARED.

SCARED OF WHAT YOU'D THINK OF ME AND SCARED THAT YOU'D BLAME YOURSELF.

WHICH YOU SHOULDN'T.

I KNOW I'VE BEEN A REAL HANDFUL THIS YEAR

AND I HAVEN'T APPRECIATED YOUR LOVE.

SINCE I LEFT I'M NOT CRYING BECAUSE I'M SAD.

IT'S BECAUSE I MADE YOU SAD AND YOU SO DON'T DESERVE IT.

I KNOW WE'RE BOTH JUST COMING FROM OUR OWN SIDES,

BUT MAYBE WE COULD MEET IN THE MIDDLE.

I MISS YOU SO MUCH IT HURTS.

LOVE LOLA."

- THERE YOU GO. - THANK YOU.

[ chimes ]

I MISSED YOU SO MUCH.

I MISSED YOU TOO.

- I'M SORRY. - IT'S OKAY.

I'M SORRY TOO.

BATTLE OF THE BANDS.

- Ashley: AT THE METRO. - Both: CHECK IT OUT.

- [ laughter ] - BATTLE OF THE BANDS-- IT'S THE FINALS.

- BATTLE OF THE BANDS. - BATTLE OF THE BANDS AT THE METRO.

- I'M OUT. - THAT WAS QUICK.

I DON'T KNOW. IF I GO HOME BEFORE THE SHOW,

- MY DAD WON'T LET ME OUT. - WAIT, YOU SAID YOU HAD THIS TAKEN CARE OF.

YOU GOTTA FIGURE OUT SOMETHING. WE CAN'T GO TO MY HOUSE.

OKAY, YOU GUYS FIGURE IT OUT AND LET ME KNOW, BUT I GOTTA GO CHANGE.

BETTER DO SOMETHING.

- ONE FOR YOU? - HIT ME.

- MOM? - OKAY-- WHAT?

- CAN I ASK YOU A FAVOR? - ALREADY?

YES?

IT'S LIKE JUST, YOU KNOW, YOU WOULD BE THE BEST MOM

- IN THE WHOLE WIDE WORLD. - WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I HAVE A FEW FRIENDS THAT THEY NEED TO DO BAND PRACTICE. COME HERE!

THIS IS KYLE. YOU REMEMBER KYLE, RIGHT?

- YES, HI. - NICE TO MEET YOU AGAIN.

WE HAVE THIS SHOW THING. YOU'RE THE BEST. BYE!

- THANK YOU. - HI!

- [ kids chatting ] - HEY.

- HEY. - ALL RIGHT.

LOLA, GET BACK HERE!

Lloyd: JANICE, LET'S GO.

YOU'RE THE BEST MOM IN THE WORLD.

- ♪ WE DON'T KNOW... - KYLE!

- ♪ WHAT'S OUT THERE... - THAT'S IT, HE'S DONE.

♪ THERE'S NO WAY...

[ cheering ]

♪ TO WAKE UP

♪ AND WE'LL DARE

♪ TO SHARE THE AIR

♪ FOR OUR DESPAIR AND WE'LL DARE ♪

♪ TO JUMP HIGH

♪ AND FLY AWAY

♪ WITH BROKEN WINGS

♪ NO WINGS

- ♪ SO WHISPER... - Girl: KYLE!

♪ A LITTLE PRAYER

♪ WE ARE DREAMING

♪ AND PRAYING, YEAH

♪ WE WERE JUST LAUGHING

♪ WE WERE DYING

♪ IT WAS OVER

♪ OVER

♪ OUR TEARS WERE DRY.

Announcer: WE HAVE OUR RESULTS AND THE WINNER

OF BATTLE OF THE BANDS IS NO SHAMPOO!

LET'S HAVE THEM SING ANOTHER SONG, EH?

OH MY GOD.

THANK YOU!

THIS SONG IS FOR SOMEONE WHO MEANS A LOT TO ME.

Girl: I LOVE YOU!

Girlfriends: AWWW.

♪ I'M FALLING IN

♪ I'M FALLING DOWN

♪ I WANT TO BEGIN BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW ♪

♪ TO LET YOU KNOW HOW I'M FEELING ♪

♪ I'M HIGH ON HOPE, I'M REELING ♪

♪ BUT I WON'T LET YOU GO

♪ NOW YOU KNOW

♪ I'VE BEEN CRAZY FOR YOU ALL THIS TIME ♪

♪ I'VE KEPT IT CLOSE

♪ ALWAYS HOPING

♪ WITH A HEART ON FIRE

♪ A HEART ON FIRE

♪ HAND IN HAND, SPARKLING EYES ♪

♪ THE DAYS ARE BRIGHT AND SO ARE THE NIGHTS ♪

♪ 'CAUSE WHEN I'M WITH YOU I'M GRINNING ♪

♪ ONCE I WAS THROUGH, NOW I'M WINNING ♪

♪ I WON'T LET YOU GO, NOW YOU KNOW ♪

♪ I'VE BEEN CRAZY FOR YOU ALL THIS TIME ♪

♪ I'VE KEPT IT CLOSE, ALWAYS HOPING ♪

♪ WITH A HEART ON FIRE

♪ A HEART ON FIRE...

Lola's voice: I GUESS IF I'VE LEARNED ANYTHING THIS YEAR

IT'S THAT YOU CAN PRETEND TO BE ANYONE YOU WANT.

BUT WHEN IT COMES TO LOVE--

I MEAN REAL LOVE--

THE BEST THING

IS JUST BE YOURSELF.

♪ I'VE BEEN CRAZY FOR YOU ALL THIS TIME ♪

♪ I'VE KEPT IT CLOSE, ALWAYS HOPING ♪

- ♪ WITH A HEART ON FIRE... ♪ - [ chimes ]

♪ A HEART ON FIRE...

Lola's voice: THE TRUTH IS ME AND MOM AREN'T SO DIFFERENT.

AFTER ALL THIS,

WE'RE FINALLY READY TO LET EACH OTHER GROW UP.

AND IT'S NICE TO KNOW NO MATTER WHAT HAPPENS,

WE'LL ALWAYS BE THERE FOR EACH OTHER.

[ keyboard clacks ]

[ soft rock music playing ]

♪ WE USED TO SAY

♪ THAT WE WERE

♪ BROTHER AND SISTER

♪ WE USED TO THINK

♪ NOTHING

♪ WAS EVER BITTER

♪ TODAY I BREAK MY PROMISES ♪

♪ TO STAY OUT OF THE EMPTINESS ♪

♪ TODAY LET'S MAKE OUR PROMISES ♪

♪ FOR TOMORROW

♪ WE USED TO PLAY

♪ ALL THE GAMES

♪ WHERE NO ONE'S A WINNER ♪

♪ WE USED TO LAUGH

♪ AND MAKE LIVES

♪ SOUND EVEN BETTER

♪ TODAY I BREAK MY PROMISES ♪

♪ TO STAY OUT OF THE EMPTINESS ♪

♪ TODAY LET'S MAKE OUR PROMISES ♪

♪ FOR TOMORROW

♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA

♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA

♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA

♪ LA LA LA LA LA

♪ LA LA LA

♪ WE USED TO SWEAR

♪ THAT WE WERE

♪ BROTHER AND SISTER

♪ WITH ALL THAT WE DO

♪ WE KNEW

♪ SOMETHING BETTER

♪ TODAY WE MAKE OUR PROMISES ♪

♪ AN ENDING TO THE LONELINESS ♪

♪ TODAY LET'S MAKE OUR PROMISES ♪

♪ FOR TOMORROW

♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA

♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA

♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA

♪ LA LA LA LA LA

♪ LA LA LA

♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA

♪ LA LA LA LA LA

♪ LA LA LA LA LA LA

♪ LA LA LA LA.

[ laughing ]

[ instrumental music playing ]

[ accordion playing ]