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1
00:00:12,793 --> 00:00:17,467
[Molly] What was his name?
Was it Bradley? No.
2
00:00:17,835 --> 00:00:22,277
Paul? T.J.?
No, nobody's name is T.J.
3
00:00:22,812 --> 00:00:25,383
[moans, echoing]
4
00:00:25,384 --> 00:00:28,021
We were in our 20s and
it was like he couldn't stop going down on me.
5
00:00:28,022 --> 00:00:29,425
Maybe he was hungry.
6
00:00:29,960 --> 00:00:32,164
Stop. Stop thinking about that.
Stop it.
7
00:00:32,566 --> 00:00:34,769
Be here with Steve.
What did he just say?
8
00:00:35,237 --> 00:00:37,140
I guess I'm a feminist?
9
00:00:37,842 --> 00:00:40,179
I'm the only male journalist
at the magazine
10
00:00:40,180 --> 00:00:41,783
that the female editors
want to work with.
11
00:00:41,784 --> 00:00:45,189
I mean, it-it's fucked.
Journalists can be monsters.
12
00:00:45,190 --> 00:00:48,262
Overworked, underpaid,
the burden of knowing too much.
13
00:00:48,263 --> 00:00:49,666
I'm sorry,
I think we got off topic.
14
00:00:49,667 --> 00:00:51,736
No, it connects.
I'm trying to make a...
15
00:00:51,737 --> 00:00:53,874
[sighs]
16
00:00:53,875 --> 00:00:56,546
All right. I get...
I'm confused, like, when I get interrupted.
17
00:00:56,547 --> 00:01:00,621
Anyway, so yeah, I just think there's
a little bit of a double standard here.
18
00:01:00,622 --> 00:01:03,159
Molly and I haven't had
an active sex life in years.
19
00:01:03,160 --> 00:01:06,198
Since Molly's
breast cancer diagnosis?
20
00:01:06,199 --> 00:01:09,806
Yeah. I mean, we weren't having much se.
.. much sex when you got cancer, so...
21
00:01:09,807 --> 00:01:12,812
[Molly] Because you said
my bald head made you think about your dad.
22
00:01:12,813 --> 00:01:14,582
[Steve speaking, muffled]
23
00:01:14,583 --> 00:01:17,153
But you don't have to take care
of me now. I'm healthy.
24
00:01:17,154 --> 00:01:18,590
I just want you to want me.
25
00:01:19,058 --> 00:01:21,295
Please. Please.
26
00:01:21,296 --> 00:01:24,736
And it's like,
now she wants to again, and I'm the bad guy
27
00:01:24,737 --> 00:01:28,476
'cause I just
can't flip a switch and suddenly be Mr. Sex?
28
00:01:31,617 --> 00:01:32,685
What?
29
00:01:33,052 --> 00:01:35,156
[chuckles] Mr. Sex?
30
00:01:36,225 --> 00:01:39,932
Uh, Mr. Sex probably doesn't
refer to himself as Mr. Sex
31
00:01:39,933 --> 00:01:41,636
if he's actually Mr. Sex.
32
00:01:41,637 --> 00:01:42,905
[chuckles]
33
00:01:42,906 --> 00:01:44,743
Anyways... [sighs]
34
00:01:45,912 --> 00:01:48,182
Look, I know my wife.
35
00:01:48,183 --> 00:01:50,653
She's had a really
complicated history with sex.
36
00:01:52,525 --> 00:01:56,365
And I don't think...
I don't think this is actually what you want.
37
00:01:56,366 --> 00:02:00,473
I think there's
some confusion here as to what you want.
38
00:02:00,474 --> 00:02:03,279
[therapist] Molly, do you feel
confused about what you want?
39
00:02:03,280 --> 00:02:05,851
- You wanna have sex with Steve?
- To have sex, yes.
40
00:02:06,205 --> 00:02:08,255
[Molly] Shit.
41
00:02:08,256 --> 00:02:09,559
With Steve.
42
00:02:09,560 --> 00:02:11,629
But this isn't
an authentic desire.
43
00:02:11,630 --> 00:02:13,432
- It's the medication.
- Tamoxifen.
44
00:02:13,433 --> 00:02:15,504
Yeah, the drug that prevents
the cancer from returning.
45
00:02:15,505 --> 00:02:17,474
A side effect
is decreased libido,
46
00:02:17,475 --> 00:02:19,344
but Molly's body
is, like, an anomaly
47
00:02:19,345 --> 00:02:21,649
- and it increased hers.
- That's not a side effect.
48
00:02:21,650 --> 00:02:23,920
Okay, but it is. Dr. Pankowitz
said it's the meds.
49
00:02:23,921 --> 00:02:25,758
Dr. Pankowitz
is your doctor, Steve?
50
00:02:25,759 --> 00:02:27,227
- Molly's.
- Mine.
51
00:02:27,228 --> 00:02:28,797
[phone rings]
52
00:02:30,835 --> 00:02:34,475
I put my phone
in the technology tray, like we're supposed to.
53
00:02:34,476 --> 00:02:37,313
- You can just turn it off.
- Sorry, it's the hospital.
54
00:02:37,314 --> 00:02:39,519
I just, um...
55
00:02:39,520 --> 00:02:41,388
It's that hip thing
I had checked... It's, uh... I'm gonna take this.
56
00:02:41,389 --> 00:02:43,960
You can just put him on speaker.
Molly, put him on speaker.
57
00:02:43,961 --> 00:02:45,831
- Hello?
- Can you put him on speaker?
58
00:02:45,832 --> 00:02:47,768
- [doctor] Molly,
is this a good time? - Uh, yes.
59
00:02:47,769 --> 00:02:51,543
Okay. I have the results
of the biopsy on your hip
60
00:02:51,544 --> 00:02:53,547
and, um, unfortunately...
61
00:02:55,618 --> 00:02:58,456
- [Molly] Fuck. Fuck.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. - [horns honking]
62
00:02:58,457 --> 00:03:00,326
[pedestrian] Watch where
you're fucking going!
63
00:03:00,327 --> 00:03:01,830
[siren wailing]
64
00:03:02,464 --> 00:03:04,903
- [panting, moaning]
- [kisses]
65
00:03:05,838 --> 00:03:07,675
[bell rings]
66
00:03:09,345 --> 00:03:11,516
[? pop song plays on speakers]
67
00:03:15,892 --> 00:03:18,997
[rapid panting, moaning]
68
00:03:19,900 --> 00:03:20,950
[Molly] Fuck.
69
00:03:29,986 --> 00:03:32,996
- [siren wailing in distance]
- [pedestrians chattering]
70
00:03:35,865 --> 00:03:37,333
[vehicle approaching]
71
00:03:37,334 --> 00:03:39,444
- [engine rumbles]
- [lighter clicking]
72
00:03:39,639 --> 00:03:43,880
- Hey, baby.
You need a ride somewhere? - Hi.
73
00:03:43,881 --> 00:03:46,351
[Molly] Is this what it feels
like to push someone off a cliff?
74
00:03:46,352 --> 00:03:47,621
I'm sorry, were you busy?
75
00:03:47,622 --> 00:03:49,324
Uh, I'm on my way to rehearsal.
76
00:03:50,026 --> 00:03:52,998
Are you smoking cigarettes?
What is that, menthols?
77
00:03:52,999 --> 00:03:56,305
Oh, my God. Who are you?
Are you my camp boyfriend?
78
00:03:57,007 --> 00:03:58,276
What is this?
79
00:04:00,046 --> 00:04:04,054
You know how I had that pain
in my hip that wouldn't go away?
80
00:04:04,055 --> 00:04:05,022
Uh-huh.
81
00:04:05,023 --> 00:04:06,292
It's cancer.
82
00:04:08,564 --> 00:04:09,614
[sighing] It's back.
83
00:04:16,580 --> 00:04:17,630
But you...
84
00:04:19,385 --> 00:04:21,055
- It's been two years.
- I know.
85
00:04:21,056 --> 00:04:23,793
And you did everything
that the doctor said,
86
00:04:23,794 --> 00:04:25,784
- and you took
all of their drugs... - I know.
87
00:04:26,667 --> 00:04:28,737
- ...and this is still... Hmm.
- It's not fair.
88
00:04:28,738 --> 00:04:31,008
I don't want to die just
when I'm getting used to my new boobs.
89
00:04:31,009 --> 00:04:32,712
Stop. You're not gonna die.
90
00:04:34,415 --> 00:04:38,757
I am, actually. It, um,
metastasized to my bones.
91
00:04:39,593 --> 00:04:41,495
- Mmm.
- It's incurable.
92
00:04:41,964 --> 00:04:44,001
[birds chirping]
93
00:04:44,002 --> 00:04:49,211
[sobbing] Can you just
give me one second? I'm so, so sorry.
94
00:04:49,212 --> 00:04:51,381
- Hey.
- [sobs] I'm sorry, I'm...
95
00:04:51,382 --> 00:04:53,553
Babe, it's okay. It's okay.
96
00:04:53,554 --> 00:04:56,804
No, I feel like it's just
gonna get a little bit bigger. Just let me...
97
00:04:56,860 --> 00:04:58,396
[retches, cries]
98
00:04:59,131 --> 00:05:02,538
I... Just kidding.
I'm fine! [chuckles]
99
00:05:04,709 --> 00:05:06,779
- Y-You are?
- No.
100
00:05:06,780 --> 00:05:08,783
- Oh, my God! What the fuck?
- Sorry. I don't know why I said that.
101
00:05:08,784 --> 00:05:10,921
- What the fuck?
- I'm not doing a very good job with this.
102
00:05:10,922 --> 00:05:13,392
- What are you doing? What is it?
- I don't know how to do this!
103
00:05:13,393 --> 00:05:15,096
I don't know how to tell you
that I'm going to die!
104
00:05:15,097 --> 00:05:17,400
Yeah, you're bad at this!
This is a bad way to tell me!
105
00:05:17,401 --> 00:05:18,937
I'm sorry. I'm so sorry.
I'm sorry.
106
00:05:18,938 --> 00:05:20,440
- [crying] Oh, God.
- [sighs]
107
00:05:21,610 --> 00:05:23,747
You look so nice.
108
00:05:23,748 --> 00:05:26,619
Like, if you're dying, like, why
are you fucking weirdly vibing right now?
109
00:05:26,620 --> 00:05:28,757
- Like, glowing
from within right now. - [chuckles]
110
00:05:28,758 --> 00:05:30,961
- Is this your natural
inner radiance? - [chuckling] I don't know.
111
00:05:30,962 --> 00:05:33,767
- I'm so fucking confused,
overstimulated. - What is this? Is she drunk?
112
00:05:33,768 --> 00:05:36,138
- No. No. I just told her that I'm dying.
- What? No, I'm not drunk.
113
00:05:36,139 --> 00:05:39,444
- I'm human having
human emotions. - Why is her crying so loud?
114
00:05:39,445 --> 00:05:41,683
[strained] This is how I cry!
115
00:05:41,684 --> 00:05:44,622
She's an actress. Her emotions
live very close to the surface.
116
00:05:44,623 --> 00:05:46,425
Huh? Leave!
117
00:05:46,426 --> 00:05:48,028
- Go!
- No, I won't do that.
118
00:05:48,029 --> 00:05:49,865
My friend is a paying customer!
119
00:05:49,866 --> 00:05:51,869
She bought this fucking weird
fucking soda from you.
120
00:05:51,870 --> 00:05:54,842
- Yeah, I did.
Good Value Diet Soda. - Okay, that's nice.
121
00:05:54,843 --> 00:05:56,579
But that doesn't
give you the right
122
00:05:56,580 --> 00:05:58,783
to stand outside my store
and scream like a lunatic!
123
00:05:58,784 --> 00:06:01,589
Don't come out here
and tell two people in a private conversation...
124
00:06:01,590 --> 00:06:03,727
- [both yelling, muffled]
- [Molly] Look at her.
125
00:06:03,728 --> 00:06:06,064
- No. She's nice. You're not so nice.
- Do not fucking talk about her!
126
00:06:06,065 --> 00:06:10,439
[Molly] Not afraid.
Everything out in the open. I love this woman.
127
00:06:10,440 --> 00:06:12,978
- [? whimsical music playing]
- [mouthing] Oh, my God.
128
00:06:12,979 --> 00:06:14,716
[no audible dialogue]
129
00:06:23,767 --> 00:06:25,871
I'm having a normal reaction,
130
00:06:25,872 --> 00:06:28,610
and a deep experience
that I don't even wanna fucking be having!
131
00:06:28,611 --> 00:06:31,482
- So go inside!
- The hell is... What the...
132
00:06:34,054 --> 00:06:35,524
- Fine.
- Mm-hmm.
133
00:06:35,525 --> 00:06:37,026
- Stay.
- Cool.
134
00:06:37,027 --> 00:06:38,963
Just shut the fuck up! Please!
135
00:06:38,964 --> 00:06:40,634
- [music fades out]
- [sniffles]
136
00:06:40,635 --> 00:06:42,571
[door opens, closes]
137
00:06:45,176 --> 00:06:47,715
- He said we can stay.
- Yeah. No, I heard.
138
00:06:48,149 --> 00:06:52,157
You have to try this soda.
The aftertaste is unbelievably bad.
139
00:06:56,800 --> 00:06:59,505
- Oh, it's junk.
- I know. I can't stop drinking it.
140
00:06:59,506 --> 00:07:00,774
It's very bad.
141
00:07:01,977 --> 00:07:03,479
When did you find out?
142
00:07:04,081 --> 00:07:05,784
Twenty minutes ago.
143
00:07:05,785 --> 00:07:07,721
- What?
- In the middle of couples therapy.
144
00:07:07,722 --> 00:07:09,959
- [doctor] Molly,
is this a good time? - Uh, yes.
145
00:07:09,960 --> 00:07:13,733
Okay. I have the results
of the biopsy on your hip
146
00:07:13,734 --> 00:07:17,240
and, um, unfortunately
it is not what we had hoped for... [distorts]
147
00:07:17,241 --> 00:07:21,516
[Molly] It didn't feel real.
I couldn't even hear what the doctor was saying.
148
00:07:21,517 --> 00:07:25,758
I didn't feel sad, I just saw
myself as a seven-year-old, dancing.
149
00:07:26,426 --> 00:07:29,932
And this seven-year-old version
of myself was being so mean to me.
150
00:07:29,933 --> 00:07:31,602
[? classical music plays,
muffled]
151
00:07:31,603 --> 00:07:32,972
She was really a jerk.
152
00:07:33,707 --> 00:07:35,043
[grunts, distorted]
153
00:07:35,410 --> 00:07:37,047
She knew.
154
00:07:37,048 --> 00:07:39,719
She knew what I'd done with
my life and was mad about it.
155
00:07:39,720 --> 00:07:43,092
She knew that Steve
didn't touch me anymore, and she got so sad.
156
00:07:43,093 --> 00:07:45,764
Because I think that
she could see that I've spent my whole life
157
00:07:45,765 --> 00:07:47,668
being scared of what I feel.
158
00:07:47,669 --> 00:07:50,019
And I was so fucking pissed
at her at this point.
159
00:07:50,273 --> 00:07:52,276
And also,
she's a terrible dancer.
160
00:07:52,277 --> 00:07:54,181
[music fades out]
161
00:07:56,118 --> 00:07:58,122
I got off the phone
and I told Steve,
162
00:07:58,123 --> 00:08:02,197
and he gave me
this look of, like, pity, or...
163
00:08:02,565 --> 00:08:04,802
I don't know.
It wasn't pity, it was like...
164
00:08:05,905 --> 00:08:07,073
I'll call the hospital.
165
00:08:07,171 --> 00:08:09,712
We're gonna get through this.
166
00:08:09,713 --> 00:08:11,248
[Molly] Excitement.
167
00:08:11,249 --> 00:08:13,653
Oh, fucking Steve!
I wanna shove him into a bush.
168
00:08:13,654 --> 00:08:16,158
If I'm sick, then everything
is so simple between us.
169
00:08:16,159 --> 00:08:18,128
Yeah.
170
00:08:18,129 --> 00:08:20,801
He's the caretaker
and the martyr, and I'm his patient.
171
00:08:20,802 --> 00:08:22,103
- Mm-hmm.
- And that means he won't touch me.
172
00:08:22,104 --> 00:08:24,708
Oh, my God. Can he not see you?
173
00:08:24,709 --> 00:08:27,180
If he doesn't wanna touch you,
then, like, he's not well.
174
00:08:27,181 --> 00:08:31,656
But I... Like, I support your marriage.
Obviously, I support your marriage.
175
00:08:31,657 --> 00:08:33,258
So I'm standing there,
and I'm looking at him,
176
00:08:33,259 --> 00:08:35,764
- and then all of a sudden...
- Uh-huh.
177
00:08:35,765 --> 00:08:38,870
...I get this flash of a memory
of this guy who went down on me in my 20s.
178
00:08:38,871 --> 00:08:41,141
I did not think
you were gonna say that.
179
00:08:41,142 --> 00:08:46,017
I mean, his head is in my hands.
So vivid. I can feel his hair in my fingers.
180
00:08:46,018 --> 00:08:48,188
- [friend] Oh, yes.
- [Molly] I mean, someone walked in on us.
181
00:08:48,189 --> 00:08:51,061
I never even finished,
but it was the best I've ever felt.
182
00:08:51,062 --> 00:08:53,132
- Yes.
- [Molly] And I just kept thinking,
183
00:08:53,133 --> 00:08:55,937
I don't wanna die without
ever feeling that way again.
184
00:08:55,938 --> 00:08:58,844
And then I run across the street
to this bodega.
185
00:08:59,746 --> 00:09:02,885
To this bodega?
Like, you ran from therapy to here? Like...
186
00:09:03,453 --> 00:09:06,324
Yeah. It's right there.
Oh, look. That's Dr. Anne.
187
00:09:06,325 --> 00:09:08,797
- Oh, my God. What is she saying?
- [Molly] I don't know.
188
00:09:08,798 --> 00:09:12,638
- "Are you okay?" Are you okay?
- No, I'm very bad.
189
00:09:14,141 --> 00:09:16,846
Wait. Oh, my God.
She's getting Steve. Shoot. Hide me.
190
00:09:16,847 --> 00:09:17,981
- What?
- Hide me. [stammers]
191
00:09:17,982 --> 00:09:20,219
Oh, um... Hold on. Uh...
192
00:09:20,220 --> 00:09:22,056
I don't think this is gonna
give you what want.
193
00:09:22,057 --> 00:09:24,227
Oh, no. Oh, oh...
I mean, make another choice.
194
00:09:24,228 --> 00:09:26,699
- We have Steve.
Steve's on the move. - Okay. All right. Let's go.
195
00:09:26,700 --> 00:09:28,703
Where are we going?
Just leave it.
196
00:09:28,704 --> 00:09:30,674
- [Steve] Don't leave!
- Here. Go, go, go. I got you.
197
00:09:30,675 --> 00:09:32,109
[Molly] Thank God
he doesn't jaywalk.
198
00:09:32,110 --> 00:09:33,947
[friend] Oh, my gosh.
Okay. Are you good?
199
00:09:33,948 --> 00:09:36,051
[Molly] Why am I so much bigger
than I thought I was?
200
00:09:36,052 --> 00:09:37,921
[Steve] Wait, wait, wait.
Just let me talk to you for a second.
201
00:09:37,922 --> 00:09:40,059
- [Molly] Drive!
Nikki, please drive. - All right.
202
00:09:40,060 --> 00:09:42,196
- He's getting closer.
I can feel it. - [Steve] Nikki, no! Nikki, no!
203
00:09:42,197 --> 00:09:45,267
- I don't have
a fucking push start thing. - [Molly] Oh, my God!
204
00:09:47,240 --> 00:09:49,812
- Like, I'll deal with it
in
205
00:09:49,813 --> 00:09:53,352
It just sticks.
Also, one other thing, just super quick...
206
00:09:53,353 --> 00:09:55,222
- Hey, hey, hey. Hi.
- Oh, my God.
207
00:09:55,223 --> 00:09:56,893
[both chuckle, kiss]
208
00:09:57,895 --> 00:09:59,832
Hold on just a sec.
209
00:09:59,833 --> 00:10:01,669
- Just don't tongue me down
right now. - Mmm. What? Oh.
210
00:10:01,670 --> 00:10:03,940
- I mean...
- Hi. Hi, Molly.
211
00:10:03,941 --> 00:10:05,309
- Hi.
- Hi.
212
00:10:05,310 --> 00:10:07,079
Sorry. Didn't see you there.
[chuckles]
213
00:10:07,080 --> 00:10:09,610
[chuckling] Did Nikki
tell you that she moved in?
214
00:10:11,690 --> 00:10:12,824
Oh, yeah.
215
00:10:12,825 --> 00:10:14,194
- We're living in sin.
- Yeah.
216
00:10:14,195 --> 00:10:15,864
- Taking the plunge.
- [both chuckle]
217
00:10:15,865 --> 00:10:17,133
- Yeah.
- Don't tell my grandma in Taiwan.
218
00:10:17,134 --> 00:10:18,202
[Nikki chuckles]
219
00:10:18,837 --> 00:10:21,776
- [rapid thudding]
- [breathes heavily]
220
00:10:23,714 --> 00:10:27,688
Your boobs are so relaxing.
They're like a cup of hot tea.
221
00:10:29,926 --> 00:10:33,967
[sighs] I'm sorry. He's playing Mahler's
Sixth with the phil tomorrow night.
222
00:10:33,968 --> 00:10:35,704
I'm playing
Mahler's Sixth tomorrow!
223
00:10:35,705 --> 00:10:37,240
Don't ever ask him about Mahler
224
00:10:37,241 --> 00:10:39,244
because he starts whispering
in a really weird way.
225
00:10:39,245 --> 00:10:41,014
Are you telling her
how I'm horny for Mahler?
226
00:10:41,015 --> 00:10:43,118
[chuckles]
227
00:10:43,119 --> 00:10:46,489
You guys are living together
already? When were you gonna tell me?
228
00:10:47,127 --> 00:10:49,230
- I love him.
- You just met him.
229
00:10:49,231 --> 00:10:51,970
[chuckling] It's been, like,
three months. I think?
230
00:10:51,971 --> 00:10:54,742
- Is he being nice to you?
- Yes, he's being nice to me,
231
00:10:54,743 --> 00:10:56,144
and I'm being nice to him.
232
00:10:56,145 --> 00:10:57,955
This is why
I didn't want to tell you.
233
00:10:57,956 --> 00:11:01,989
- [whispers] Sorry. Sorry.
- Please don't be weird.
234
00:11:01,990 --> 00:11:03,130
Just tell me to fuck off.
235
00:11:05,330 --> 00:11:06,398
Fuck off.
236
00:11:07,802 --> 00:11:10,372
It's good. It's different.
237
00:11:10,373 --> 00:11:16,151
He doesn't vampire off
my self-esteem or sell my shoes on the Internet.
238
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:20,192
Noah's the most normal guy
that I've ever had amazing sex with.
239
00:11:20,193 --> 00:11:21,729
Look at that. Look at that.
240
00:11:21,730 --> 00:11:23,198
But you have amazing sex
with everyone.
241
00:11:23,199 --> 00:11:25,436
[Nikki] Mmm.
242
00:11:25,437 --> 00:11:27,139
You once had an orgasm
on the subway just from listening to a podcast.
243
00:11:27,140 --> 00:11:29,043
- Yeah.
- Was it true crime?
244
00:11:29,044 --> 00:11:30,747
I think it was The Daily.
245
00:11:30,748 --> 00:11:32,283
[both chuckle]
246
00:11:35,223 --> 00:11:39,030
- Steve hasn't touched me
in three years. - What? No.
247
00:11:39,031 --> 00:11:41,736
How is that even possible?
I didn't know it was that long.
248
00:11:41,737 --> 00:11:43,773
I mean, my tits
were full of cancer,
249
00:11:43,774 --> 00:11:46,779
and then with the chemo,
I had diarrhea for about a year.
250
00:11:46,780 --> 00:11:50,286
But still.
Like, you're you. You.
251
00:11:51,455 --> 00:11:53,058
[phone rings]
252
00:11:53,059 --> 00:11:55,830
[Molly] Probably Steve.
253
00:11:55,831 --> 00:11:58,335
But the worst thing is he's gonna forgive
me for this because I'm his sad, sick,
254
00:11:58,336 --> 00:11:59,972
unfuckable wife.
255
00:11:59,973 --> 00:12:02,076
He's the one
who's gonna save me.
256
00:12:02,077 --> 00:12:03,478
- [Nikki] There.
- [ringing continues]
257
00:12:03,479 --> 00:12:06,318
[Molly sighs] Not yet.
258
00:12:06,720 --> 00:12:08,455
Um, are you gonna tell Gail?
259
00:12:12,163 --> 00:12:13,800
[sighs] What's Noah's Wi-Fi?
260
00:12:13,801 --> 00:12:16,505
TimpaniTime45.
Are you going to tell Gail?
261
00:12:16,506 --> 00:12:18,843
She's on a trip.
Can we make fun of that password, please?
262
00:12:18,844 --> 00:12:20,814
No. Where?
Where is your mom on a trip?
263
00:12:20,815 --> 00:12:23,519
- She's north.
- You're lying.
264
00:12:23,520 --> 00:12:26,057
Yes, I am. Will you tell me
more about the play?
265
00:12:26,058 --> 00:12:29,464
No. No.
Please don't do your thing. Just talk to me.
266
00:12:31,135 --> 00:12:33,940
Why are you hiding from Steve?
267
00:12:36,412 --> 00:12:38,348
Why don't you wanna
tell your mom?
268
00:12:38,349 --> 00:12:39,852
She loves you.
269
00:12:39,853 --> 00:12:41,956
- She's gonna need to know-
- Stop!
270
00:12:49,572 --> 00:12:50,807
I'm making you soup.
271
00:12:54,014 --> 00:12:57,144
- The good kind from the packet?
- Mm-hmm. I know what baby likes.
272
00:13:06,873 --> 00:13:09,512
[breathes sharply]
273
00:13:11,415 --> 00:13:12,465
[sobs]
274
00:13:17,360 --> 00:13:20,032
- [slurps]
- That is why
275
00:13:20,033 --> 00:13:23,138
It is this big
Shakespeare production. It's, like, this is it.
276
00:13:23,139 --> 00:13:25,075
This is what
I've been hoping to do
277
00:13:25,076 --> 00:13:27,547
ever since I was a kid
pretending that I wasn't from New Jersey.
278
00:13:27,548 --> 00:13:30,018
It's not a big deal.
Please, you don't have to call me every day.
279
00:13:30,019 --> 00:13:32,591
No. It's not fine.
It's not. It's not fine.
280
00:13:32,592 --> 00:13:36,231
[Molly] You've been like this
since you were 22, you beautiful flake.
281
00:13:36,232 --> 00:13:39,905
I just... Yeah, I get
really caught up in work and...
282
00:13:40,507 --> 00:13:43,579
- What's that like?
- No. Fuck that.
283
00:13:43,580 --> 00:13:46,451
You do everything for Steve.
You organized his whole stupid book.
284
00:13:46,452 --> 00:13:48,455
It wasn't stupid.
It was a Pulitzer finalist.
285
00:13:48,456 --> 00:13:50,927
Well, nobody bought it
because it was so fucking depressing.
286
00:13:50,928 --> 00:13:52,998
Well, it wasn't
supposed to be fun. It was about climate change.
287
00:13:52,999 --> 00:13:55,469
Pfft. I couldn't shit
for a month after I read it.
288
00:13:55,470 --> 00:13:56,906
[Nikki giggles]
289
00:13:56,907 --> 00:13:58,275
I was too sad to shit.
290
00:13:59,377 --> 00:14:00,647
[door buzzes]
291
00:14:00,648 --> 00:14:03,887
Okay, you know what?
That's Steve.
292
00:14:04,421 --> 00:14:06,291
- He's been texting me.
- Not yet.
293
00:14:08,262 --> 00:14:09,312
[door buzzes]
294
00:14:10,233 --> 00:14:12,103
[teenager] Dad, get the door.
295
00:14:12,104 --> 00:14:14,942
Hi, Winter. Hi.
296
00:14:14,943 --> 00:14:16,478
This is Winter, Noah's daughter.
297
00:14:16,479 --> 00:14:20,018
She stays here on Wednesdays,
which is great.
298
00:14:20,019 --> 00:14:21,354
And, Winter,
this is my friend Molly.
299
00:14:21,355 --> 00:14:22,505
- [door buzzes]
- Dad?
300
00:14:22,506 --> 00:14:24,995
- Yeah, look at
my body right now. - [Winter] Dad.
301
00:14:24,996 --> 00:14:27,099
I'm, like, afraid of her.
But she's really sweet.
302
00:14:27,100 --> 00:14:29,137
- [Noah] I didn't hear that.
- It's like I'm a dork. I am cool.
303
00:14:29,138 --> 00:14:31,107
- I am cool.
- [Noah] Okay.
304
00:14:31,108 --> 00:14:33,345
- Hi, wait. Hold on.
Don't get the door. - [Noah] Okay.
305
00:14:33,346 --> 00:14:35,282
- It's Steve.
We're not doing that. - [Noah] Oh.
306
00:14:35,283 --> 00:14:37,521
- Oh, did he cheat on you?
- No. She doesn't wanna talk about it.
307
00:14:37,522 --> 00:14:39,625
My cancer is back,
and it's not curable.
308
00:14:39,626 --> 00:14:41,495
- [door buzzes]
- [whispers] Oh.
309
00:14:43,567 --> 00:14:46,972
- Oh, my God. I'm so sorry.
I had no idea. - It's okay.
310
00:14:46,973 --> 00:14:49,203
- [Molly] No cancer pity face.
- [door opens]
311
00:14:49,204 --> 00:14:51,649
- [Steve] Molly.
- I let him in. What? What's happening?
312
00:14:51,650 --> 00:14:53,385
[Nikki groans]
313
00:14:53,386 --> 00:14:55,422
[Steve] Sorry to barge in
like this. I just-
314
00:14:55,423 --> 00:14:56,992
[Winter whispers]
Is she dying of cancer?
315
00:14:56,993 --> 00:14:58,295
[Noah] Oh, my God, baby,
I don't think-
316
00:14:58,296 --> 00:15:00,667
All right, Molly,
let's head out.
317
00:15:00,668 --> 00:15:02,571
[Molly] I forgot how hot he is
when he's mad and wearing a blazer.
318
00:15:02,572 --> 00:15:04,575
Hello? What's going on?
319
00:15:04,576 --> 00:15:06,110
I'm sorry.
She's not dying of cancer. It's just incurable.
320
00:15:06,111 --> 00:15:07,246
How is that different
than dying?
321
00:15:07,247 --> 00:15:08,649
[Molly] Stop saying "dying."
322
00:15:08,650 --> 00:15:09,985
Is there any way
you could stop saying "dying"?
323
00:15:09,986 --> 00:15:11,321
Are you guys smoking in here?
324
00:15:11,322 --> 00:15:13,726
- [sighs] Are you
smoking in here? - [laughs]
325
00:15:13,727 --> 00:15:15,697
- Oh, come on.
- Who are these people, Dad?
326
00:15:15,698 --> 00:15:17,466
- Molly. Let's go.
- This is why I don't wanna live with you
327
00:15:17,467 --> 00:15:19,270
- and your random-ass girlfriend.
- [Molly] Whoa, yes.
328
00:15:19,271 --> 00:15:21,174
- [Noah] Nikki is not random-ass.
- [Nikki] No. I am random.
329
00:15:21,175 --> 00:15:22,309
- [Molly] Yes.
- This is happening fast, but I love her.
330
00:15:22,310 --> 00:15:24,313
We're drinking soda too? Great.
331
00:15:24,314 --> 00:15:26,417
[groans] I have to study
for the PSATs. I can't deal with cancer.
332
00:15:26,418 --> 00:15:28,288
- I think we should
talk about it. - I don't wanna talk about it.
333
00:15:28,289 --> 00:15:30,158
Smoking? And having stressful
emotional interactions.
334
00:15:30,159 --> 00:15:32,096
That's... This is perfect.
This is exactly what we need.
335
00:15:32,097 --> 00:15:34,233
Can we go?
336
00:15:34,234 --> 00:15:35,570
[Molly] Oh, you're
so disappointed in me. It's so hot.
337
00:15:35,571 --> 00:15:37,707
None of this is
appropriate right now.
338
00:15:37,708 --> 00:15:39,545
[Molly] I'm always
doing the wrong thing and you hate it.
339
00:15:39,546 --> 00:15:42,316
It's a great environment for you
right now. [clears throat]
340
00:15:42,317 --> 00:15:43,452
Hey, Steve.
341
00:15:44,655 --> 00:15:45,705
Nikki.
342
00:15:52,270 --> 00:15:54,173
I called the hospital.
343
00:15:54,174 --> 00:15:55,743
They want you to meet with
a palliative care social worker
344
00:15:55,744 --> 00:15:57,714
after our appointment
with the doctor tomorrow.
345
00:15:57,715 --> 00:16:00,665
Just to help with some of these
big emotions you're having.
346
00:16:01,221 --> 00:16:02,290
[clears throat]
347
00:16:04,662 --> 00:16:05,712
We're done.
348
00:16:07,100 --> 00:16:08,850
Look at this.
Can't even recycle it.
349
00:16:11,074 --> 00:16:12,143
I'm making you juice.
350
00:16:17,655 --> 00:16:19,585
You remember
when you used to fuck me?
351
00:16:21,128 --> 00:16:22,564
Like, really fuck me?
352
00:16:25,136 --> 00:16:26,639
[sighs]
353
00:16:27,002 --> 00:16:31,414
You'd take me to parties
with all your friends,
354
00:16:31,415 --> 00:16:34,053
and you'd talk about books
I never read. [chuckles]
355
00:16:35,524 --> 00:16:37,761
And I'd get insecure,
and I'd pick a fight.
356
00:16:37,762 --> 00:16:39,197
You'd have to take me home.
357
00:16:40,299 --> 00:16:44,473
My priority right now
is keeping you alive as long as possible.
358
00:16:44,474 --> 00:16:46,110
[breathes deeply]
359
00:16:46,111 --> 00:16:49,317
Which means no caffeine,
no sugar, no green drink.
360
00:16:50,453 --> 00:16:52,356
[sighs]
361
00:16:52,357 --> 00:16:56,497
We're gonna start a food diary.
We're gonna set a bedtime.
362
00:16:56,498 --> 00:16:58,235
- Molly. Molly!
- [panting]
363
00:17:00,272 --> 00:17:01,712
Do you not wanna live longer?
364
00:17:02,410 --> 00:17:03,460
I wanna blow you.
365
00:17:04,180 --> 00:17:05,349
[whispers] Okay.
366
00:17:08,857 --> 00:17:12,363
[panting]
367
00:17:13,165 --> 00:17:15,704
[both moaning]
368
00:17:17,273 --> 00:17:19,477
[moaning continues]
369
00:17:34,842 --> 00:17:36,378
[moaning]
370
00:17:39,618 --> 00:17:41,388
[sobbing]
371
00:17:43,174 --> 00:17:47,734
- [sobbing] I'm sorry.
- [whispers] It's okay.
372
00:17:47,735 --> 00:17:49,738
- I'm sorry.
- It's okay.
373
00:17:52,845 --> 00:17:53,895
It's okay.
374
00:17:58,188 --> 00:17:59,825
It's okay.
375
00:17:59,826 --> 00:18:02,195
[Molly] What if that's
the last time I have sex?
376
00:18:02,196 --> 00:18:04,200
Half a blow job
that made him cry?
377
00:18:04,201 --> 00:18:05,435
It's okay.
378
00:18:05,436 --> 00:18:08,308
- It's just your boobs.
- What?
379
00:18:08,309 --> 00:18:12,282
[sobbing] When I touch 'em,
it makes me think of the mastectomy,
380
00:18:12,283 --> 00:18:14,521
and then I think
about losing you.
381
00:18:16,659 --> 00:18:19,197
- My boobs make you
think about death? - Yeah.
382
00:18:20,299 --> 00:18:23,506
I just don't understand,
like, what is this all about?
383
00:18:24,508 --> 00:18:28,415
Like, wha-what is
this need of yours to blow me?
384
00:18:28,917 --> 00:18:31,987
'Cause it's a little weird
considering what happened to you.
385
00:18:32,858 --> 00:18:36,164
I'm sorry, but just, like,
your childhood trauma...
386
00:18:38,536 --> 00:18:40,472
You say trauma like "traw-ma"?
387
00:18:40,473 --> 00:18:43,646
- It's a... W-What do you mean?
- Say it.
388
00:18:43,647 --> 00:18:44,781
- Trauma.
- "Traw-ma."
389
00:18:44,782 --> 00:18:46,752
Yeah. That's how you say it.
390
00:18:46,753 --> 00:18:50,192
Jesus! Fuck! I'm just saying,
what I'm...
391
00:18:50,193 --> 00:18:52,897
The first time you got cancer,
it re-traumatized you.
392
00:18:52,898 --> 00:18:57,708
And then, like, this recurrence
is gonna probably add to the trauma.
393
00:18:58,877 --> 00:19:00,747
[sighs] You're just deflecting.
394
00:19:00,748 --> 00:19:03,398
You're deflecting,
and you can't even talk about it.
395
00:19:08,630 --> 00:19:11,935
My mom's boyfriend made me give
him a blow job when I was seven.
396
00:19:11,936 --> 00:19:14,608
- There. I talked about it.
- But you haven't processed it.
397
00:19:14,609 --> 00:19:17,647
- I don't... What does that mean?
- You know what it means.
398
00:19:17,648 --> 00:19:19,785
When do you know that
you've processed your childhood?
399
00:19:19,786 --> 00:19:21,221
You know what it means.
400
00:19:24,562 --> 00:19:26,464
[sighs]
401
00:19:31,408 --> 00:19:33,613
I have an interview
with CNN in ten minutes.
402
00:19:33,614 --> 00:19:37,654
I tried to reschedule it
but they wouldn't let me.
403
00:19:37,655 --> 00:19:38,705
[Molly] Who are you?
404
00:19:39,925 --> 00:19:41,461
Do you know anything about me?
405
00:19:42,631 --> 00:19:47,272
Um, can you get the interview with the.
.. with the family with the... with the baby?
406
00:19:47,273 --> 00:19:48,323
Yeah.
407
00:19:50,614 --> 00:19:54,353
[Molly] Did I do this?
Did I stop you from knowing me?
408
00:19:54,922 --> 00:19:57,326
Are you the last person
I'll see before I die?
409
00:19:57,327 --> 00:20:00,399
Is this sweater... Does it give
me a little pooch in the front?
410
00:20:02,938 --> 00:20:05,910
[Dr. Pankowitz] All right. Well.
411
00:20:06,813 --> 00:20:07,914
I, um...
412
00:20:09,284 --> 00:20:11,420
I just wanna say,
I'm sorry. So...
413
00:20:11,421 --> 00:20:13,424
[Steve] Well, thanks, Dr. P.
Appreciate that.
414
00:20:13,425 --> 00:20:14,565
[Molly] Say something.
415
00:20:14,566 --> 00:20:17,700
[Steve, muffled]
I know we got a long road ahead.
416
00:20:17,701 --> 00:20:20,706
I guess I'm wondering
how soon you think you'll have a treatment plan.
417
00:20:20,707 --> 00:20:23,477
- [Dr. Pankowitz, muffled] Soon.
- [Molly] What do you want?
418
00:20:23,478 --> 00:20:24,798
What do you want right now?
419
00:20:26,318 --> 00:20:27,720
Well...
420
00:20:27,721 --> 00:20:30,492
[Molly] Say something.
Say something.
421
00:20:30,493 --> 00:20:33,398
...possible for Molly
to come off the Tamoxifen now?
422
00:20:33,399 --> 00:20:36,705
- Yeah, we could do that.
- Side effects have been rough.
423
00:20:36,706 --> 00:20:39,836
- What side effects specifically?
- Stop it. Stop it. That's not...
424
00:20:40,012 --> 00:20:41,062
What?
425
00:20:42,784 --> 00:20:44,420
It's not yours to...
426
00:20:44,421 --> 00:20:46,558
- He's my doctor.
- [thud]
427
00:20:46,559 --> 00:20:48,461
- [Steve] Okay.
- Sorry.
428
00:20:48,462 --> 00:20:49,598
I think we're still reeling
from the stage four of it all.
429
00:20:49,599 --> 00:20:51,334
- Stop it. Stop it.
- What?
430
00:20:51,335 --> 00:20:53,539
- It's my life.
It's my death. It's mine. - Okay.
431
00:20:58,683 --> 00:21:00,352
[sighs]
432
00:21:00,353 --> 00:21:02,356
- You know, maybe I should just-
- No, you can stay.
433
00:21:02,357 --> 00:21:04,059
Oh...
434
00:21:04,060 --> 00:21:06,364
- Okay, are you
trying to hurt me? - No. It's not about you.
435
00:21:06,365 --> 00:21:08,468
This is about what I want.
This is about how I feel.
436
00:21:08,469 --> 00:21:11,742
And I wanna feel things.
[stammers] I want to feel things.
437
00:21:15,684 --> 00:21:17,614
[stammers] What does
that even mean?
438
00:21:29,812 --> 00:21:31,802
I don't need to have
this conversation.
439
00:21:35,122 --> 00:21:36,562
I don't need palliative care.
440
00:21:38,462 --> 00:21:39,998
I'm not gonna die tomorrow.
441
00:21:40,365 --> 00:21:45,844
Well, palliative care is
all about how you want to live with this.
442
00:21:46,478 --> 00:21:50,452
Well, I'm here
for psychological support, pain management.
443
00:21:51,522 --> 00:21:54,360
And when you're actively dying,
I'm here for that too.
444
00:21:56,799 --> 00:21:59,036
Hey. I know it's cheesy,
445
00:21:59,705 --> 00:22:01,942
but... [whispers]
...everybody has a bucket list.
446
00:22:02,309 --> 00:22:04,547
I tell patients to dream big.
447
00:22:04,548 --> 00:22:07,119
You know, climb a mountain,
eat something spicy.
448
00:22:07,120 --> 00:22:09,557
- You know, roller-skate.
- I have cancer in my bones.
449
00:22:09,558 --> 00:22:11,460
Well, it doesn't
have to be roller-skating-
450
00:22:11,461 --> 00:22:13,431
You think if I learn
to fucking roller-skate-
451
00:22:13,432 --> 00:22:14,734
- What about whales?
- Look-
452
00:22:14,735 --> 00:22:16,037
Have you ever seen
a whale before?
453
00:22:16,038 --> 00:22:20,045
I'm too young,
and it sucks, okay?
454
00:22:20,682 --> 00:22:24,119
I haven't done anything
with my life.
455
00:22:24,120 --> 00:22:26,659
I actually don't know
what I like, or what I want.
456
00:22:31,869 --> 00:22:32,938
I've never...
457
00:22:33,406 --> 00:22:35,936
I've never even had
an orgasm with another person.
458
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:39,230
[sobbing] And now
I'm going to die.
459
00:22:40,587 --> 00:22:41,667
[social worker] Good.
460
00:22:42,758 --> 00:22:43,808
Molly.
461
00:22:44,895 --> 00:22:45,945
Hey.
462
00:22:47,033 --> 00:22:49,470
We have something for your list.
463
00:22:49,471 --> 00:22:50,673
[sobs, sniffles]
464
00:22:52,043 --> 00:22:54,848
[singing] "Orgasm
with another person."
465
00:22:54,849 --> 00:22:56,384
[both laughing]
466
00:22:56,786 --> 00:22:57,836
Yeah?
467
00:23:05,937 --> 00:23:06,987
What is that?
468
00:23:07,674 --> 00:23:09,143
Oh.
469
00:23:09,144 --> 00:23:11,434
You know, I like
to have a little leather on me.
470
00:23:13,218 --> 00:23:14,453
[Molly] Ask her.
471
00:23:15,222 --> 00:23:16,692
Are you into leather?
472
00:23:18,930 --> 00:23:19,980
I like to be hog-tied.
473
00:23:20,466 --> 00:23:23,639
Like, hands and feet?
474
00:23:23,640 --> 00:23:24,741
Like, legs together.
475
00:23:26,044 --> 00:23:27,714
What does that feel like?
476
00:23:29,217 --> 00:23:31,027
Thank you for not asking
if it hurts.
477
00:23:32,824 --> 00:23:34,126
[exhales sharply] It's...
478
00:23:36,532 --> 00:23:37,582
It's very intense.
479
00:23:40,940 --> 00:23:42,810
Does that kind of thing
speak to you?
480
00:23:47,119 --> 00:23:49,409
You know, because
you could start exploring.
481
00:23:51,695 --> 00:23:53,685
Molly, there's a whole world
out there.
482
00:23:54,968 --> 00:23:56,018
If you want it.
483
00:24:05,255 --> 00:24:06,759
[car door opens, closes]
484
00:24:10,834 --> 00:24:12,704
[pedestrians chattering]
485
00:24:12,705 --> 00:24:14,206
I think I just left Steve.
486
00:24:19,852 --> 00:24:20,902
Okay.
487
00:24:23,559 --> 00:24:25,369
I told him
I don't wanna die with him.
488
00:24:26,966 --> 00:24:28,168
Oh.
489
00:24:31,809 --> 00:24:34,781
Oh, shit. [chuckles] Okay.
490
00:24:34,782 --> 00:24:36,050
I wanna die with you.
491
00:24:44,000 --> 00:24:45,536
But it's okay if you can't.
492
00:24:46,705 --> 00:24:49,711
If it's too much to...
493
00:24:52,784 --> 00:24:55,957
[chuckles]
494
00:25:00,403 --> 00:25:03,204
[? "Vampire Empire" playing]
495
00:25:03,205 --> 00:25:06,845
Yeah. Let's do it. Die with me.
496
00:25:06,846 --> 00:25:08,615
[chuckling] Yeah.
497
00:25:08,616 --> 00:25:09,684
[Molly] Thank you.
498
00:25:13,024 --> 00:25:14,093
Thank you.
499
00:25:15,062 --> 00:25:16,130
Sweetie.
500
00:25:16,131 --> 00:25:18,000
- [horn honks]
- Oh.
501
00:25:18,001 --> 00:25:20,138
Jesus Christ!
502
00:25:20,139 --> 00:25:24,012
I felt that in my fucking asshole,
okay? This is a fucking hospital!
503
00:25:24,013 --> 00:25:27,587
- Go somewhere else
to honk your horn. - Hey. Move your car, please!
504
00:25:27,588 --> 00:25:30,893
Sir, I'm talking to my friend
who just left her husband.
505
00:25:30,894 --> 00:25:33,665
- So just give me
one fucking second! - Cry me a fucking river!
506
00:25:33,666 --> 00:25:35,903
- Jesus Christ!
- Move your car! I need to get home.
507
00:25:35,904 --> 00:25:38,776
I'm being appropriate. I'm with
someone at the hospital. I'm not honking.
508
00:25:38,777 --> 00:25:40,980
- I'm not yelling at people.
- Cry me a river. Move the car.
509
00:25:40,981 --> 00:25:43,117
I'm a person doing the thing
that people are doing at the hospital
510
00:25:43,118 --> 00:25:45,021
- other than being sick.
- You know what? Fuck it.
511
00:25:45,022 --> 00:25:47,660
- I'll move it myself. Ah, fuck!
- What? Don't get up. Oh, my God!
512
00:25:47,661 --> 00:25:49,062
No. Just stay there.
I'm sorry. I don't...
513
00:25:49,063 --> 00:25:50,866
- Go, go, go!
- [Molly giggles]
514
00:25:50,867 --> 00:25:52,904
Fuck you! You started this!
You're a fucking dick!
515
00:25:52,905 --> 00:25:55,135
- [horn honks]
- [Nikki] Just get in. Get in. Go.
516
00:25:56,679 --> 00:25:57,747
[Nikki] Get in. Get in.
517
00:26:00,987 --> 00:26:02,037
Drive.
518
00:26:03,358 --> 00:26:07,199
? I see you there rejecting
All your earthly power ?
519
00:26:07,200 --> 00:26:11,173
? I wanted to see you naked
I wanted to hear you scream ?
520
00:26:11,174 --> 00:26:14,747
? Wanted to kiss your skin
And your everything ?
521
00:26:14,748 --> 00:26:18,187
? You turn me inside out
And then you want me Outside in ?
522
00:26:18,188 --> 00:26:21,928
? You spin me all around
And then you ask me Not to spin ?
523
00:26:21,929 --> 00:26:25,669
? You say you wanna be alone
And you want children ?
524
00:26:25,670 --> 00:26:29,777
? You wanna be with me
You wanna be with him ?
525
00:26:29,778 --> 00:26:32,950
? You give me chills
I've had it with the drills ?
526
00:26:32,951 --> 00:26:36,658
? I'm nothing, you are nothing
We are nothing with the pills ?
527
00:26:36,659 --> 00:26:40,131
? I am empty till she fills
Alive until she kills ?
528
00:26:40,132 --> 00:26:43,639
? In her vampire
empire, I am ?
529
00:26:43,640 --> 00:26:58,100
? Falling, yeah ?
530
00:26:58,101 --> 00:27:00,172
[song ends]
531
00:27:00,222 --> 00:27:04,772
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